That Wrestling Podcast Episode 47

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 47 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

This episode sees the debut of a new recurring feature. It is imaginatively titled Three Things. The premise of it is simple. We take three wrestlers, tag teams, or other role in wrestling and think of things (three to be precise) that could be done to improve them.

Here we apply it to three WWE tag teams. I won’t mention any specifics because I think finding out who we’re talking about and how we think they could be bettered is a large part of what makes the episode enjoyable. Although it’s possible you can guess through a process of elimination.

I will say that I think WWE is overlooking their tag team division and not doing as much as they could with the teams they have. It’s not that the doubles scene is bad. It’s been improving for around eighteen months now. In that time we’ve seen Team Hell No, The Rhodes Scholars, The Shield and the Rhodes bros doing everything they can to make the division and the titles mean something. The spate of six man tags involving The Shield and The Wyatt Family has helped too.

Do we have ideas to improve Goldust and Cody Rhodes

But WWE are at risk of losing this. The Rhodes brothers seem to have been cooled off a little since losing the championships in January and The Shield have been moved away from doubles action this year. Even The Prime Time Players, a duo who had lots of potential to work as a fun supporting act but never got the chance to be as good as they could be, have been split (read my thoughts on that stupidity here). The division is currently in the hands of teams that are mostly proficient but seem unlikely to keep the momentum of recent times going.

Of course, wrestling well is fine. It’s better to have good wrestling than bad, especially when it comes to an aspect of WWE programming that hasn’t been handled too well for much of the last decade. But there’s more to wrestling than just putting on good matches, especially in WWE. The tag scene is the perfect place for WWE to be experimental with characters and gimmicks or for humour to be inserted into shows. These things are important to keeping shows varied and for experimenting with guys who could be stars for the company in the future.

If the Usos are left as the centrepiece team of the division it’s not going to take long for the good work of Daniel Bryan, Kane, Cody Rhodes, Goldust and ‘The Hounds of Justice’ to be undone. Even if Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, the obvious choices to oppose Jimmy and Jey in the post-‘Mania season, are moved into the division it will lack the variety of the last year and a half.

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 27

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 27 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

At the start of the year Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow were working together as The Rhodes Scholars. At the time it seemed inevitable that they would be the pairing to take the tag straps from Team Hell No boys Daniel Bryan and Kane. There were no realistic alternatives and they were too entertaining to not get a reign.

 

That didn’t happen of course.

 

This is a team that deserved a title reign

Instead Rhodes and Sandow mounted an unsuccessful title challenge at Royal Rumble, got split up and put back together in a matter of weeks, and then spent months killing time in completely forgettable and not especially good matches. It was Shield members Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns who were selected as the men to dethrone Team Hell No, having progressed throughout the spring from being six man specialists alongside Dean Ambrose to men who could contribute to shows in more conventional ways.

 

In the long run it made a little more sense. Rollins and Reigns benefited not only from being the men to take the belts from THN but also from holding them for so long. It’s unlikely they’d have got them as soon as they did had The Rhodes Scholars had them after WrestleMania. And the aimlessness of Rhodes’ and Sandow’s careers throughout the first half of the year can be overlooked with hindsight because such a good job was done with them at Money in the Bank.

 

But even there I can’t simply heap glowing praise on WWE. The feud between former best friends Sandow and Rhodes should have continued for longer than the month it did. The story was there to be told and WWE, for unfathomable reasons, decided to cut it short.

 

For Rhodes it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. He got sucked into the company’s lead angle opposite Triple H and Stephanie McMahon and got a belated run with the tag straps alongside his brother Goldust. Since being paired with ‘The Bizarre One’ Cody has had a string of fiery, captivating matches that have reinvigorated the tag championships.

 

All Sandow wants is some consistency, is that too much to ask?

‘The Intellectual Saviour’ hasn’t fared as well. The sudden ending of his programme against his former best pal left him drifting for weeks. The failed cash-in attempt he made on ‘Superman’ Cena could have been the start of something interesting for him. He cut promos hinting that it would be, saying that his goal in life was to destroy Cena. Needless to say that’s not happened. It was never likely to. But the fact that Sandow’s done nothing to advance this stated plan feels like a wasted opportunity.

 

It’s interesting how much has changed for the two most prominent WWE teams since the start of 2013. Neither are together anymore, but one of the four is a current tag champ. His partner has fallen and risen from grace numerous times, and currently seems on the cusp of another rise. Kane has gone from being an unstoppable monster to a modern day interpretation of Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco’s stooge role. Meanwhile Daniel Bryan has left the other three, and the rest of the roster, behind him and become the most popular man in the company.

The Backstage Finish

We all know that backstage segments are a part of modern wrestling. They exist to further storylines and feuds, to provide short bursts of exposure for characters, and to give the ring crew time to set up elaborate sets in the ring. They’re incredibly useful and, when done well, enhance a wrestling TV show.

I’m very much in favour of backstage segments that consist of an interview and a wrestler. It’s simple and effective. The interviewer poses a question to the wrestler, usually about an upcoming match or the person they’re currently feuding with. The wrestler then cuts a short promo on the topic, establishing their motivation in an easy to follow manner.

Sadly this approach seems to have gone out of style. It was pretty common years ago but has been replaced by skits where people sit or stand around having a conversation about a topic an interviewer could easily pose. It’s daft because the camera crew standing mere feet away is never acknowledged. But it’s part of a business that’s about big muscly men fighting one another in lycra outfits, so they’re hardly the most ridiculous thing about a wrestling show.

Besides, there’s a far more irksome form of backstage segment: the ones that provide a pivotal moment in a feud. Obviously there’s nothing wrong with a feud being moved along, but important moments in a programme should always take place in the ring. That way the crowd are kept enthused (at least in theory) and the wrestlers get the best reaction possible to their work. Audiences cannot be expected to react with the same fervour to something shown to them on a screen as to something that they see unfolding before them.

Take the closing segment of the July 26^th SmackDown as an example. It saw Damien Sandow storm out to the coast of the Gulf of Mexico to retrieve his Money in the Bank briefcase from Cody Rhodes. Cody first made his former best friend beg to have his briefcase back. It was a distinctly un-babyface thing to do and the audience didn’t react well to it. They may have been just as subdued had the exchange occurred in the arena but obviously it’s not guaranteed. After that Rhodes hurled it into the sea (ocean? Gulf?), mocked his foe, and then wandered off, leaving Sandow to leap into the water before returning to dry land to cough and splutter his way off the air.

 

Damien Sandow, soon to be starring in Hamlet

 

The entire scenario played out over several minutes and completely failed to hold the crowd’s interest. They reacted to the case being chucked into the water and Sandow following it but were tepid for everything else. This harmed the image of both men. Which obviously isn’t a good thing for either man. Sandow appears to be heading for a World Heavyweight title reign sometime in the next year while Rhodes is in the process of being established as a babyface. Too many indifferent reactions could really hinder his chances of working out as a good guy.

I understand that these segments have to happen sometimes in order for programmes to have some variety. They shouldn’t be ending shows though, especially when they’ve gone for such a hefty amount of time, and be comprised of such questionable dialogue. If the babyface isn’t passionate about what they’re doing the fans aren’t going to be either.  Cody’s good but he didn’t seem thrilled with what he was doing on SmackDown. For a lot of the time he was simply stood around looking like an extra from an 80s heist movie.

Basically backstage segments should be kept as short as possible and everyone involved should be clear about what’s being accomplished. If they do have to run for several minutes then the wrestlers should be doing something that’s not been done before (and throwing things into bodies of water has happened many times on WWE and F programming). They certainly shouldn’t be closing shows.

That said… the feud of the former Rhodes Scholars and best friends is shaping up nicely. I’m looking forward to seeing them do more together. Though preferably in front of crowds.

Dropping Truth

Over the spring and summer of 2011 R-Truth turned heel. He was a revelation in the role. Gone was the smiling, dancing mid-card babyface, replaced by an engaging and amusing paranoid schizophrenic convinced that being made to pander to children for years had cost him his shot at the big time. He revelled in peppering his promos with strange phrases and audience interaction and adopted a more aggressive ring style (as all WWE heels do). He became a programming highlight and did some of the best work of his career.

What happened to that guy?

WWE fumbled things. Anything they've not got a plan in place for that becomes popular gets fumbled. That's what happens when a wrestling company has no long term plans (or goals) and a creative department who don't understand the wrestling business to a satisfactory degree.

The specifics with Truth are particularly disappointing. He headlined June's Capitol Punishment in a WWE championship match with John Cena and then did absolutely nothing of note until the autumn, despite being one of wrestling's biggest bad guys at the time.

In retrospect he probably got overshadowed by the CM Punk worked shoot promo and ensuing mega push. That shouldn't have been the case but WWE have demonstrated regularly that they're incapable of elevating two acts at the same time. R-Truth drew the short straw.

Autumn saw 'The Suntan Superman' enter into a worked shoot angle of his own. He formed a partnership with fellow loose-ender The Miz and unsuccessfully challenged Air Boom for the tag team titles at Night of Champions. Due to Miz attacking the referee of that match the pair were fired.

The next month’s Hell in a Cell show was main evented by John Cena v CM Punk v Alberto Del Rio in a triple threat Cell match and featured Awesome Truth slipping out from under the ring to attack all three combatants. Their actions were portrayed as unscripted. The show ended with Truth and Miz brawling with COO Triple H in the aisle as the entire roster crowded around. It was a bizarre approach for a WWE card in this day and age

It all seemed to be hinting at something huge. A bold new approach to the way WWE presented its storylines or a massive push for Truth and 'The Awesome One'. It wasn't either. The pair were reinstated on TV in a thoroughly generic manner and went on to defeat Tripper and CM Punk at Vengeance. It was then announced they were the opponents for SuperCena and The Rock at Survivor Series.

Sounds like a good spot? It was, but the twosome were treated like the expendable mid-card talent they were when bell time came in their Survivor Series bout. They were split on the following evening’s RAW and then drifted off into obscurity.

A few months later Truth had morphed back into a bland good guy. That he held the hand of Little Jimmy as he made his way to the ring was a nice holdover from his storyline the previous summer but it was also depressing that nothing else of the period remained. Truth playing the face again wasn't a problem in itself: he was and is good in the role. It was disappointing that nothing had come of some of wrestling's best antagonism of the year.

If you were being charitable you could point out that 2012 saw Truth form a popular team with Kofi Kingston and reign as a tag champ for over four months. The tag title reign is a fact but only came about because there were no alternative teams available. The popularity claim would be pure fantasy: nobody was clamouring to see Truth and Kingston teaming together.

 

Push this guy... and Little Jimmy too

Since he and 'The Wildcat' went their separate ways Truth has sunk to his lowest point since before his heel turn. He's had a string of meaningless TV and pay-per-view matches and was never in any danger of wrestling on the WrestleMania card. He didn't even appear in the Royal Rumble. That says it all.

R-Truth proved in 2011 that he could be a valuable part of the WWE product. As the company is desperate for reliable guys right now they should be making more use if him.

Another heel turn wouldn't work. Having initially been done so well two years ago a repeat performance would have very little impact. More to the point, Truth is one of only a handful of faces that can be regularly sacrificed to Wade Barrett and Antonio Cesaro. If there were a mid-card scene to speak of he could be put to good use there. But there's not, and creating one doesn't seem terribly high on WWE's list of priorities.

I think the best thing that could be done with R-Truth now is to have him reform Awesome Truth. The Miz will soon stop playing movie star and become a full-time wrestler again. There's nothing obvious for him to return to as a singles guy and we've established Truth's doing nothing interesting so pairing them up again would give both a purpose. They had good chemistry during their original run and as they’re both faces now it would be easy for them to put a fresh spin on their act.

Stick them in a feud with the Rhodes Scholars for two months, have them win the programme, and it's just about conceivable that they could be used as challengers to The Shield over the summer. Like the idea it not it's a better use for two name talents than having them tread water.

SmackTalk 29.03.13

This week’s SmackDown was better than this week’s RAW. Not that you’d know that from listening to the crowd. They were one of the most unresponsive bunches to attend a WWE show since… well… since Monday’s RAW actually. The lack of enthusiasm from Monday’s audience was to be expected though: Philadelphia is known for having a hard-to-please population of fans. Hershey should’ve been (slightly) rowdier.

Considering SmackDown’s status as the clear number two show WWE went to a lot of trouble to make this week’s broadcast enjoyable. For starters The Rock appeared. Opening the show with the biggest star currently affiliated with the company should have ignited the crowd for the rest of the evening. Instead ‘The Great One’ received a warm reaction that fizzled out once his music cut off, leaving him to play to crickets and the occasional bout of laughter.

The WWE champion was interrupted by John Laurinaitis. That was a strange move. The two have never interacted before and ‘Big Johnny’ hasn’t been seen on TV since last summer. Fans reacted to his entrance and the People’s Elbow he took but otherwise they seemed indifferent to the most random return of 2013.

Why WWE thought this was a good thing to put on TV I have no idea. Surely it would have made more sense to send a mid-card act out there instead. It didn’t do the Rhodes Scholars any harm back in January. 3MB, the Prime Time Players or Antonio Cesaro all would have been more interesting choices.

Bizarrely the crowd were fairly raucous by the time the main event rolled around. Who would have thought that Randy Orton, Big Show and Sheamus facing ‘The Swiss Superman’ and the Rhodes Scholars would get a more consistent reaction than The Rock?

 

Cody's about to go for a moustache ride

 

Elsewhere on the show Ryback and Mark Henry competed in a weightlifting contest. Both men broke what was apparently a legitimate world record, although the specifics of this were not provided by the commentary team. This is peculiar considering how much JBL loves reeling off stats he’s copied off of Wikipedia.

That segment came to a screeching halt when Mark Henry choked ‘Big Hungry’ with a steel bar. It felt like too much. The ‘back versus Henry feud would have been fine if it had simply consisted of each man squashing jobbers and glaring at each other for several weeks. Presumably they’ll have a brawl next week.

It’s also worth noting that this segment featured Booker T and Teddy Long bickering with one another. It will lead to a heel turn for one of them, probably Booker. Unless the writing staff lose interest, that is.

Chris Jericho had a nice match with Wade Barrett. Miz was on commentary to cause a distraction and allow ‘Y2J’ to score the win with the Codebreaker. Following that Fandango rocked up and danced about before posing. He did not enter the ring. A minor surprise was that he managed to provoke a reaction from the fans.

Kaitlyn and Daniel Bryan defeated Dolph Ziggler and AJ in a decent match. Had they had three or four more minutes it could have been a very good outing. Sadly matches of this type only exist to advance feuds. In this case it was the already announced WrestleMania tag title match and the expected Divas title match between AJ and Kaitlyn. The latter is another example of a match that would benefit from a decent amount of time but probably won’t get it.

Finally, Jack Swagger and The Great Khali went to a double count out when ‘The Real American’ locked in the Patriot Act at ringside. Afterwards Hornswoggle got duffed up. I would have been happy for him to get written off TV here. He contributes nothing of value to anything he’s involved in.

After the destruction of the leprechaun Ricardo Rodriguez came out to distract Swagger and Colter. Alberto Del Rio snuck in through the crowd and tussled with Swagger for a bit. A month and a half ago I was excited by the prospect of a feud between Swagger and ADR. It seemed like it would be something inventive and provocative, a programme that broke the stale monotony of WWE’s booking formula. Sadly it’s turned out to be the endless stream of run-ins and brawls we see all the time. Here at least the Herhsey audience’s apathy was completely understandable.

Intro video

Tweet 1: Tonight… ON SMACKDOWN!!

Tweet 2: The Rock, The Rock talking, The Rock, plus The Rock! Also Jack Swagger, The Shield and clips of Big Show playing babyface.

The Rock promo, featuring John Laurinatis and an absence of logical booking

Tweet 3: Rock's jerking the curtain. I wonder if he'll wrestle on this show...

Tweet 4: Three man announce team. Cole's overexposure continues.
Tweet 5: Rock's telling yet another story about his childhood. How was it so eventful? Answer: he's probably lying.
Tweet 6: Considering it's The Rock in the ring this crowd seems pretty subdued.
Tweet 7: Middle-aged women in the audience there, screaming with excitement for Rock's catchphrase. It's Michaels' Kliq groupies all over again.
Tweet 8: I kind of miss Rock's strange goatee from last year.
Tweet 9: John Laurinaitis is back! Why put someone who could benefit from a segment with The Rock in the ring? Give it to 'Big Johnny'.

It's the return we've all be longing for: 'Big Johnny' is back!

Tweet 10: This should end with an impromptu WWE championship match in which Laurinaitis beats Rock, giving us Cena v Laurinaitis at WrestleMania.
Tweet 11: Hilarious non-selling of the People's Elbow there. Laurinaitis is like late 90s ECW Taz.
Tweet 12: Laurinaitis should be a colour commentator on NXT.

Wade Barrett v Chris Jericho

Tweet 13: I'm not that into the Jericho v Faaaaaan... daaaaaan... goooooo feud but I like Fandango as a wrestler.

Tweet 14: BARRETT RING COAT ALERT!!
Tweet 15: That black eye makes 'Y2J' look like he sleeps rough. Maybe he does.
Tweet 16: Miz had title matches at Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. He lost both. Why is he being awarded another at WrestleMania?
Tweet 17: Beating Barrett non-title isn't enough of a reason. This entire feud is stupid.
Tweet 18: Jericho now has a non-title win over Barrett too. When will HIS title match be? WHEN?!
Tweet 19: I wonder if Johnny Curtis took dancing lessons to play Fandango. He could just be making it up as he goes along.
Tweet 20: Ken Shamrock reference from JBL there. #surprising
Tweet 21: How long until Fandango's unnamed female associate wins the Divas championship?

Josh Mathews interview Paul Heyman

Tweet 22: Is the bruise around Heyman's eye real? Looks like a bad makeup job.

Tweet 23: Predictably excellent work from Paul Heyman. Imagine who bad that video would've been if it had been Lesnar doing it himself.

Ryback and Mark Henry weightlifting challenge, hosted by Booker T and Teddy Long

Tweet 24: Booker and Teddy are on the stage, playas. #holla

Tweet 25: Booker needs to be careful of how he says "contest"...
Tweet 26: This should be booked as a comedy segment. It won't be. But it should be.
Tweet 27: They're teasing a rift between Teddy and Booker. I want Teddy to go heel and manage Henry again.
Tweet 28: SmackDown should feature weightlifting contests every week. This is amazing TV.
Tweet 29: "THAT'S WHAT I DO!" - Mark Henry after lifting some weights
Tweet 30: Ryback gets his throat crushed by Henry. It doesn't contradict Booker T's no-touching clause because Henry touched the bar. #wrestlinglogic

Powerful stuff

Daniel Bryan and Kaitlyn v Dolph Ziggler and AJ

Tweet 31: Bryan, Ziggler, Kaitlyn and AJ all in one match? This'll be the highlight of the show.

Tweet 32: "He absolutely explodes when he goes into somebody" - JBL with an inadvertently filthy comment on Big E Langston
Tweet 33: #nokicks
Tweet 34: Big E's scaring me. I'm constantly worried he's going to pop out.
Tweet 35: Kaitlyn spear > All other wrestling spears

Shield promo

Tweet 36: Here's a lovely little Shield ramble. Rollins and Reigns should shut up and let Ambrose do all the talking.

Tweet 37: They've got him beaten in the hair department though.

The Great Khali v Jack Swagger

Tweet 38: The Great Khali can't even walk convincingly.

Tweet 39: And apparently Garcia can't say Hornswoggle convincingly. She said "Sportswoggle".
Tweet 40: Instead of being 'The Punjabi Playboy' Khali should be referred to as 'The Punjabi Pimp'.
Tweet 41: It would create a fresh new direction for Natalia.'s character.
Tweet 42: "He targets the leg" - Michael Cole as Jack Swagger headbutted Khali in the groin
Tweet 43: Hornswoggle should've had his ankle broken.
Tweet 44: ADR in through the crowd after a distraction from Ricardo. #itwasasetupallalong
Tweet 45: I do not approve of the jazzy remix of Del Rio's music. It's too jovial.

Renee Young interviews Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show

Tweet 46: Renee Young is an improvement on Matt Striker.

Tweet 47: Babyface superteams are the worst, Jerry. The worst.

Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show v Antonio Cesaro and The Rhodes Scholars

Tweet 48: They should get a team name and entrance music so they can all skip to the ring together at WrestleMania.

Tweet 49: Sandow and Cesaro would make an even better team than Sandow and Magnum TA junior. Their gimmicks are similar.
Tweet 50: Oh no! Randy was isolated by the heels during the break! I think his team may lose... #kayfabe
Tweet 51: It's possible Orton won't turn on Sheamus at WrestleMania. They could form a team and win the tag titles instead.
Tweet 52: Amazingly the audience has woken up for the main event after being quiet for the entire show.
Tweet 53: Show, Sheamus and Orty won. Who saw that coming, eh?
Tweet 54: Post-match Shield beating hijinks.
Tweet 55: The show goes off the air with three knackered looking men posing in the crowd. Maybe WWE should let up on the live event schedule.

The Longest Short Reign

When Daniel Bryan and Kane won the WWE tag team titles at last September's Night of Champions I didn't think I'd still be discussing their reign seven months later. As high profile wrestlers doing the feuding partners routine it seemed safe to assume that the pair would drop the gold to a more conventional combo after a short run together, going on either to resume their feud or being given something new to do. The latter of those is what I was hoping for.

Instead Bryan and Kane have continued to win as a team and keep hold of the straps long after their appeal has waned. The smart thing to do would have been introducing one or two fresh teams to the division while people were still interested in Team Hell No as a unit, leaving guys to inherit a hot and interesting division after the champs lost and split. The Rhodes Scholars were introduced but their push has been fumbled even more badly than Kane and Bryan's. They should have been the guys to replace 'The Big Red Machine' and 'The World's Toughest Vegan'.

Heyman describes Lesnar and Punk as 'The Beast' and 'The Best', epithets that are applicable here too

The Rhodes Scholars have been harmed by their ridiculous split and reunion between Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. The Prime Time Players, a team that has seemed on the cusp of winning the tag belts for a year now, have been moved away from the champions. They're wrestling just as much as they ever have but they're no longer being presented as any sort of threat to the tag titles.

Epico and Primo seem unlikely to get a win over genuine stars any time in the foreseeable future. Brodus Clay and Tensai (or Sweet T) have the size to be taken seriously, and a slightly more advantageous spot on the card than E&P, but even they seem unlikely to be the next champions.

The likeliest successors to Kane and Bryan right now appear to be Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston. Not only are they good enough wrestlers to be the champions but Ziggler's star profile gives them a very strong chance. It's status on the roster, more than anything else, that determines title reigns in WWE.

What makes a Dolph and Big E win at WrestleMania slightly least likely is the Money in the Bank briefcase. 'The Show Off' is expected to cash in at 'Mania and leave as World Heavyweight champion. Making DZ a double champion would be a great way to make him look a star and could even lead to a return of his late 2011 gimmick of working twice on each pay-per-views. Unfortunately making someone a double champion would go against WWE's current approach to championship. Having Ziggler as a tag champ could also dilute the importance of his WHC win, and the prestige of that title is getting pretty flimsy as it is.

But if it's not Langston and Ziggler that beat Team Hell No then who will?

The Downside of Recycling

I'll tell you what would improve WWE: a less regimented approach to who beats who. Or, put more simply, the current headliners starting to put over future headliners.
 
This isn't an area I think most of the current headliners are deliberately failing in. I think the writing team have become too used to having a select group of guys win most of the time. With the possible exception of Cena I think all of WWE's big stars would be happy to do their bit in this regard.
 
Apart from Ryback, and his credentials are questionable, every full time main event wrestler (which, for clarity, I consider to be Cena, Punk, Orton, Sheamus, Big Show, and ADR) has faced every other full time main event wrestler. It's true that reversing the heel-face roles for some of these feuds would freshen them up a bit, but that's only a short term solution. Turning someone doesn't completely overhaul their wrestling style and it only partially addresses the problem of stale characters.
 
The best thing WWE could do is select three or four guys and begin elevating them immediately after WrestleMania. Putting them into feuds with bigger stars and granting them clean, decisive victories would go a long way towards portraying them as the equals, rather than the inferiors, of the top boys. Ideally they'd all be given high profile programmes and sustained pushes across the summer, with the plan being to give each of the chosen ones something especially memorable to do at SummerSlam. Getting a world title or winning a particularly gruelling gimmick match, for example. That would also bolster SummerSlam’s rep as an important show. It's flagged badly in recent years.
 
Obviously Dolph Ziggler should top the list of new pushes. It seems likely he's going to leave WrestleMania XXIX as the World Heavyweight champion. There aren't many better ways to move someone up the bill than that.
 
Jack Swagger's a possible candidate but truthfully I think he's better cut out for the mid-card for now. He's solid in the ring and his recent character overhaul has worked out well but nothing about him stands out as headline calibre. He could benefit from 'The Show Off's' push though. As he's already involved in a WHC programme with ADR a three-way match at Extreme Rules is easy to imagine. That match would have the added bonus of having a heavily stocked ringside area. It could be great.
 
Cody Rhodes, Damien Sandow and Wade Barrett would all make good choices for a proper move upward too. Personally I'd select Barrett. I think Rhodes and Sandow are of more use as the Rhodes Scholars. All three are good enough to be placed into ongoing, pay-per-view rivalries with the big names. Sheamus would be an ideal opponent for any of them: he's wrestled good matches opposite opposite each one on TV but hasn't wrestled any in a major PPV bout.
 
WWE needs babyfaces too, of course. I'd love to suggest Zack Ryder, but he's been stuck doing so little for so long that a sudden leap to tangling with CM Punk on pay-per-view would stretch credibility too far. He would be an ideal candidate to be moved up into a vacated mid-card spot though.
 
Miz isn't a particularly strong candidate either. I'm more partial to his face turn than a lot of other people but I don't think he's due a return to the top any time soon. His niche is the upper mid-card.
 
A better option would be Kofi Kingston. WWE have faltered over pushing him in the past, but the fact they've started so often shows they see something in him. In fairness he's not quite a good enough promo to be a success in a promotion like WWE. They want their top guys to have it all.
 
That problem could be overcome though. Ask The Rock to spend an afternoon or two with him while he's still making regular appearances. Better yet, have 'The Great One' give a talk to the entire roster about connecting with an audience. He's one of the best ever at that. Everyone could learn something from him.

Serious face

 
The best new good guy WWE could go with is Daniel Bryan. 'The World's Toughest Vegan' has more experience than many of the promotion's existing stars, is one of the best wrestlers in the roster, and is a reliable promo. His character would need some tweaking because the whole yes and no thing is becoming played out, and because it's not something WWE are going to get behind with a headliner.
 
Establish Bryan as a face, separate him from Kane, either after a feud or an amicable split, and give him some wins over main eventers not named CM Punk on pay-per-view. If treated right he could be massive. In fact I’d go so far as to say that if he were booked correctly over the next year he could challenge Undertaker's Streak at WrestleMania XXX.
 
They key to getting this proposal to work would be sticking with the pushes and ensuring that each rising star was treated as an equal by whoever they were pitted against. The WrestleMania to SummerSlam stretch is a big enough gap to fit in two feuds for each guy. Plan out who's facing who, who's getting victories when, and stick to it all.
 
Most importantly, keep Cena away from the process. He's a liability and doesn't seem to understand how to make others look good. Worryingly he hasn't ever displayed any understanding of why he should, either.
 
The success of Santino at last year's SmackDown Elimination Chamber match shows that with the right booking anyone can become a serious star in WWE. Fans went wild for 'The Milan Miracle's' short battle with World champion Daniel Bryan. They genuinely believed that Santino could dethrone the champ, and they wanted to see it happen. If that can happen with a low card comedy act like Santino (who was a last minute replacement in that match, not the recipient of a long term push designed to make him a bigger name) then WWE can make anyone a star.

The 29th Annual WrestleMania Undercard

WrestleMania XXIX is coming together. Up at the top of the card WWE champion The Rock will defend his cherished prize against John Cena. The clear number two world champ, Alberto Del Rio, will wrestle Jack Swagger for his World Heavyweight championship. In non-title outings Triple H v Brock Lesnar II is being treated as confirmed and CM Punk will become the latest victim of The Streak.
 
But that's only four matches. A six man tag team match looks like it will happen between The Shield and the strange team of Randy Orton, Sheamus and Big Show, and Monday's RAW teased a showdown between Ryback and Mark Henry (which I'm sure will be a technical marvel), but that still leaves a lot of guys off of the card. Where are the matches for Daniel Bryan, Kane, the Rhodes Scholars, Dolph Ziggler, Chris Jericho, Antonio Cesaro, the Prime Time Players, Wade Barrett and The Miz? Even Zack Ryder deserves a match of some sort, considering his popularity and the fact that he's from Long Island (close to 'Mania XXIX's New Jersey site).
 
Assuming the six man tag and The Ryback's Muscle Showcase take place there are six matches happening at WrestleMania so far. The likelihood is WWE will promote an eight match card and that 'The Show Off' will cash in his Money in the Bank briefcase in an unadvertised ninth match. That's a lot of guys to try and squeeze into two slots.

Will this guy be wrestling at WrestleMania...?

 
One option that comes to mind is booking another six man tag team match. The obvious downside is that having two six man tags on the same show is wholly unimaginative. If booked differently to one another, perhaps giving one a stipulation, I don't think it would be too much of a problem, and it would get six deserving names onto the card.
 
A second team versus team scuffle could be built around the company's mid-card champs. Intercontinental champ Barrett, US kingpin Cesaro and MITB maestro Ziggler could be booked to brag about how they're better than everyone else in a RAW segment and get interrupted by three babyfaces. There are a few combos that could work there: Jericho, Miz and Ryder would be good if there was a tag title match elsewhere on the show, or any one of the three could team with Team Hell No. My pick there would be 'Y2J'.
 
A tag team championship match is another obvious thing to do. It would create space for Team Hell No, the PTPs, and the Rhodes Scholars. Zack Ryder could be added to proceedings too, either teaming with Sin Cara as a "replacement" for Rey Mysterio or pairing with one of his two semi-regular partners of the last year, Brodus Clay or Santino. Not only would this get WWE's most effective teams onto the show (and they all deserve to be there) but it would also provide the perfect opportunity to relieve Kane and 'The World's Toughest Vegan' of the straps. That's been needed for a while now.
 
One alternative to a title defence is a singles outing between the doubles champions. That's been hinted at since the Rumble (it could be argued it’s been teased since they first united, in fact). It's not something I want to see but it feels inevitable. Instead of having it clutter up WrestleMania why not hold it off for Extreme Rules? That way the Bryan and Kane team gets to dissolve on a big show and the spotlight can be shared with other teams that also deserve to appear.
 
There are plenty of options for singles matches if WWE aren't fussed about leaving guys off the card (and I doubt they will be). Jericho v Ziggler would be the perfect show opener. Their feud never got the decisive end match it needed. Why not have it happen on 'The Grandest Stage of Them All'? Cesaro and Miz could take up the other slot, simply based on the fact that WWE haven't actually cleared that programme up yet. You may think it’s been forgotten or dropped but that's not necessarily the case. The writing team have an annoying habit of dropping things for weeks before randomly returning to them. See the Barrett v Dallas rivalry for another example of this.
 
Ryder challenging for either the IC or US title would get a great reaction, especially if he won. Or he could take on his old YouTube show rival Dolph Ziggler. 'The Heel' could afford to lose that, not that I'm saying he should, as long as he captured the WHC later in the night. Back to the mid-card straps, Jericho could get a good match out of either Barrett or Cesaro. He shouldn't win though: I hate former world champs with secondary titles.
 
Sticking with Barrett and Cesaro, they could form a team in the next few weeks and challenge Team Hell No on the big show. They could even leave as double champions. That would allow for some interesting feuds in April that see singles and tag belts up for grabs.

How about this guy?

 
One final option that presents itself is a ten man tag match. Or possibly something larger. The likelihood is that if that happened the likes of Khali would be added. That wouldn't be too bad. He'd probably do one chop then tag out. Such a large match would be a mess anyway.
 
You'll perhaps have noticed I've not discussed a Divas match. I don't think it's worth booking one. Neither Kaitlyn or her butterfly belt are over enough at the moment to make a Divas outing worthwhile. They'd just be used as filler between more important matches and any of the additions I've suggested above could perform that role. Keep the ladies off this show and spend the next year making the division mean something. Give them a match at 'Mania XXX instead.

Whatever WWE end up doing it’s looking as though the end result is going to be pretty uninspiring. The promotion should take this as a sign that they need to introduce some fresh and dependable acts to the product. Next year’s WrestleMania will be a landmark thirtieth instalment. If it’s going to do justice to thirty years of history it’s going to need a memorable undercard.

Going Old School

If tonight’s RAW was truly going to be old school it would be two hours in length. Something tells me that won’t be happening.

There were rumours last week that this week’s show was being considered a “filler” episode by WWE management. I don’t think any episode of RAW is ever considered filler (not by those in charge anyway). I do think some have more work put into them, and become more memorable, than others. This instalment is likely to be less memorable than others.

WWE are still five weeks from WrestleMania XXIX. After tonight’s RAW there will be four left before this year’s ‘Showcase of the Immortals’. Four weeks is plenty of time to keep the established programmes building and start constructing something that resembles a compelling undercard. There’s no need for this RAW to be especially stacked with big revelations and twists. Not that I’m expecting many of those between now and ‘Mania. The show is still just a bit too far away.

Rolling out the old school theme is a nice way of holding off the serious ‘Mania building for a little longer. It allows for a quirky approach to what is likely to be much the same product as we get every other week. Adding a bit of Mean Gene Okerlund and some random “legend” appearances at least changes the pace. I’d quite like to see the New Age Outlaws v Rhodes Scholars match that’s been happening on house shows lately.

 

Get this guy back on TV

 

That said I do think WWE would be wise to reintroduce the Undertaker to television this week. If he wrestles CM Punk at WrestleMania the match will be one of the two biggest attractions on the card in the minds of most fans (alongside what I’m sure will be a riveting return performance from John Cena and The Rock). It will almost certainly be the best match on the show. It needs time to grow as a feud, meaning ‘The Dead Man’ needs to be back on TV sooner rather than later.

The Undertaker will not return to TV and challenge (or accept a challenge from) Punk on the same episode of RAW, not unless WWE are planning to change their standard pacing practices. The return will happen one week and the challenge will be extended the next. It’s possible it won’t be accepted until a third episode, but that may be pushing things a bit.

The point here is that if Undertaker doesn’t return until the March 11^th RAW a match between he and Punk is unlikely to be confirmed until March 18^th at the earliest. While it’s true that most fans will (correctly) assume the match is on as soon as the two men interact with one another WWE won’t be able to market the match until it’s announced. Three weeks seems to be pushing it just a little too much.

Ain't Nobody Got Time for a Players Split

There's a rumour going around at the moment that the Prime Time Players are going to be split. The reason for this supposed split is that Vince McMahon (a.k.a. the boss) is a fan of Titus O'Neil and wants to use him as a singles act.
 
Nothing could harm Titus more than a split from Darren Young right now. WWE is awash with neglected, bodged, and poorly handled singles pushes. The last thing the company needs is another two low- to mid-card grapplers to fit onto TV shows. That both Christian and Mark Henry, men who have proven their worth in the last two years as singles wrestlers, are waiting to return to television tells you all you need to know about the abundance of singles acts at WWE's disposal.
 
Being in a team plays to Titus's strengths and disguises his weaknesses. As part of double act the amount of ring time he gets is halved while his ability as a witty talker allows is put to use by having him work as the mouthpiece of the team. Reallocating to the solo ranks would show him up as a limited performer and grant him no extra promo time. It would be a foolish move.

Ain't nobody wants to see a Prime Time Players split

 
There's also the fact that the PTPs are one of only two notable teams on the books right now, thanks to the premature split of the Rhodes Scholars. If O'Neil and Young are split that will leave Team Hell No as the company's only regular combo, and the appeal of their combo dwindled months ago.

And let’s forget that the two men have improved since being moved to SmackDown following the NXT restructure last spring. ‘The Big Deal’ has come the farthest, both in terms of ring work and promos, but Young has worked hard too. The pair have forged an identity for their team where the creative department haven’t bothered and introduced some enjoyable gimmicks and phrases to their repertoire. The whistle, the hair pick, and the “millions of dollars chant”, not to mention their new “Ain’t nobody got time for that” phrase are the products of their own hard work.
 
I hope this rumour turns out to be false. Sending Titus off on his own would be disastrous. If he's earned fans backstage then he should be rewarded with a push in his current role. He'll be of more use to the company as one half of a tag team for the foreseeable future, and there's nothing wrong with that.

SmackTalk 01.02.13

Rejoice, for Jack Swagger is back on WWE television!

This week’s SmackDown played host to the return of ‘The All American American’, who had been absent since last September. Swagger revealed he’d been sitting at home watching “everything”. That was probably meant to mean RAW, SmackDown, Main Event and all the pay-per-views but the way Swag delivered the line made it seem as though he had ascended to the level of omnipotent super-god and spent the last five months observing everything that transpired on the entire planet.

Swagger had been roped back onto TV by Senior Advisor to the SmackDown GM, Teddy Long. Teddy apparently felt that Swagger deserved a spot in the Elimination Chamber match Booker T was putting together, despite not actually having been seen in months. Said Chamber bout will determine who wrestles for the World Heavyweight championship at WrestleMania. It’s a high profile spot so Teddy deciding to go behind his boss’s back to bring in someone who hasn’t been seen in months is peculiar. Perhaps we had Eve wrong and it’s been Teddy who’s been scheming to get Booker’s job all along.

It's the return we've all been waiting for!

The names of the men in this match were not disclosed. Randy Orton, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Kane, The Great Khali, and Dolph Ziggler were all at ringside as the show began, with the Swag Man joining them later. ‘The Show Off’ said he didn’t want to be involved in the Chamber match due to having a guaranteed title shot thanks to his Money in the Bank briefcase. We were left to assume that some or all of these men would be involved in the match.

That Booker made a point of mentioning all of the men at ringside are former World champions means that could be important to his criteria, perhaps hinting that Rey Mysterio or Chris Jericho could be entered too. I hope at least one of them is. Right now it’s looking as though Sheamus will be in a six man tag team match against The Shield, leaving Orton, Bryan, Kane, Swagger and Khali to tangle inside the cage with a mystery sixth man. That’s not the most impressive line-up for an EC match ever.

The show was dedicated to giving the former World champions the chance to impress Booker T. He was easily impressed: not one of the matches we saw was anything more than average and yet Book was shown to be very excited by Khali’s effort, which was easily the worst thing on the programme.

The most noteworthy things about this episode of SmackDown was what it implied for the Elimination Chamber PPV. As the SmackDown Chamber is a non-title affair it’s safe to assume that the belt will be defended elsewhere on the show. That Alberto Del Rio’s feud with Big Show is still chugging along, coupled with the fact that ‘The Giant’ wasn’t mentioned in conjunction with the cage collision itself, makes it a safe bet that the two will face one another for the strap.

Wade Barrett attacked Bo Dallas backstage. Dallas, the rookie, had made the mistake of talking to two vaguely attractive women within sight of the IC champ. It’s looking very likely that the NXT boy will get a title shot at Elimination Chamber. A completely random guess is that Barrett will cheat to win there and Dallas will win a rematch at ‘Mania.

Meanwhile Rey Mysterio getting the pinfall win in his tag match was likely a move made to create a legitimate reason for his inclusion in the Chamber bout. He’s not been on television for months. It would seem odd even by WWE standards for him to waltz back onto TV straight into a match that could earn him a WHC shot. Well, it would if Jack swagger wasn’t being given that same opportunity without earning it…

One final thing to note about this week’s SmackDown is that it marked the end of the Rhodes Scholars tag team. I thought Sandow and Rhodes worked really well together as a unit and had a lot left to offer in the role. They had deserved a reign as the tag team champions. I assume they’ve been split in order to free Rhodes up for a WrestleMania clash with half-brother Goldust. That match could be good.

The reaction the two had when they battled at the Rumble indicates that fans want to see that match. But it shouldn’t be coming at the expense of one of the most entertaining pairings the company has had in years. There was no reason the Scholars couldn’t stay together while Cody had a singles feud. Once again the tag team division is a casual disaster of the writing team’s short attention span.

Intro video

Tweet 1: Tonight... ON SMACKDOWN!!

Tweet 2: A recap of a video shown on RAW, featuring huge stars Paul Heyman AND Brad Maddox!!
Tweet 3: And… Alberto Del Rio, stealing gimmicks from the late Eddie Guerrero!

Alberto Del Rio stands in a car park

Tweet 4: ADR's wearing jeans and not wrestling gear! He means business.

Booker T promo, featuring… lots of people

Tweet 5: Booker and the (SmackDown) main event crew are in the ring. Also present are Senior Playa Teddy Long and The Great Khali.

Tweet 6: Elimination Chambers are, in the words of Booker T, spectacular.
Tweet 7: Jack Swagger! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!
Tweet 8: He's got a mic! This should be... spectacular.
Tweet 9: Swagger left RAW in disgust at his misuse last year. What's he done to reinvent himself? Grown a rubbish beard and slicked his hair.
Tweet 10: Ziggler don't want NO part of the EC. No, sir.

He has a briefcase, there's no need for a Chamber ticket here

Tweet 11: "The champ, he's in a real bad mood" - Booker T, who has clearly seen what Del Rio's wearing
Tweet 12: To get into the Chamber you need to "impress" Teddy and Booker. No criteria were mentioned. Presumably you win. What else?

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara v Team Hell No

Tweet 13: Who is this child? Oh, it's Rey.

Tweet 14: What happened to Cara's special lighting?
Tweet 15: "He will bewilder and befuddle his opponents" - Josh Mathews on Rey Mysterio
Tweet 16: I like Sin Cara's outfit more than his regular bland attire.
Tweet 17: I also like Booker including Sheamus and Khali in his conglomeration of champions and omitting Mysterio and Jericho.
Tweet 18: That's what we need from a WWE General Manager.
Tweet 19: Meanwhile we have a strange match going on. The face versus face dynamic isn't the problem, it's Kane's dwarfing of his foes.
Tweet 20: Going back to Cara's outfit: it puts me in mind of a newt. A sinister newt.
Tweet 21: Kane being so much larger than everyone else in this match is jarring. I can't get passed it. He should be a heel here. But he's not...

A goat versus a newt

Tweet 22: Great exchange between Mysterio and Dragon there. They deserve a singles match on pay-per-view.
Tweet 23: Josh has fallen into the JR habit of loudly saying a wrestler's name in place of actually saying what’s happening.
Tweet 24: The role of WWE announcers is not to call matches anymore. It is to comment wryly on the insanity taking place before them.
Tweet 25: "I've never seen Rey Mysterio look better" - JBL, who clearly isn't familiar with Rey's work

The Great Khali v Jinder Mahal

Tweet 26: THE GREAT KHALI CAN'T EVEN WALK CONVINCINGLY!

Tweet 27: It's the long awaited resumption of the Khali v Jinder Mahal feud! I'm astounded this wasn't kept for WrestleMania.
Tweet 28: Jinder should grow in a 'tache. It would fit his low card role well. Probably get him heat with Cody though.
Tweet 29: Khali literally has no idea what he's doing. He looks like he's trying to take flight.
Tweet 30: Why are they on TV every week? WHY?!

Booker T, Teddy Long and the Rhodes Scholars backstage

Tweet 31: BOOKER WAS IMPRESSED BY KHALI'S GREATNESS!!

Tweet 32: Teddy Long had the idea to bring back Swagger. There is a reason he's kept around after all.
Tweet 33: Damien Sandow quoting Albert Camus there.
Tweet 34: No more Rhodes Scholars? Dreadful decision. Dreadful.

Sheamus v Damien Sandow

Tweet 35: Sheamus comes out. He looks like a bleached pumpkin with terrible facial hair.

Tweet 36: I'm a big fan of Sandow but even he can't make me interested in a Sheamus match.
Tweet 37: Sheamus's matches consist of punches and kicks, punctuated by the occasional knee and his tedious ten punch spot. There's no charisma.
Tweet 38: But what Sheamus lacks in the charisma department The Shield make up for. Well, Ambrose and Rollins do. I'm not convinced about Reigns yet.
Tweet 39: The crowd are chanting for Ryback. There's no sign of him. Perhaps he doesn't like Sheamus. Or Irish people in general.
Tweet 40: Nobody helped Sheamus. He is staggeringly unpopular even in the locker room.

Randy Orton v Wade Barrett

Tweet 41: BARRETT RING COAT ALERT!!

Tweet 42: Bo Dallas is another guy from NXT that I'm not particularly keen on. He has the hair and entrance music of a nondescript indy guy.
Tweet 43: Wade Barrett elbows a steel ring post. Nothing is broken. Why? Because he's a WRESTLER, dammit!
Tweet 44: Barrett loses clean to the RKO. I suspect that rumour about Orton turning heel because of a clean loss to Barrett on RAW was and is rubbish.

Matt Striker interviews Bo Dallas

Tweet 45: Here's respected journalist Matt Striker, looking to uncover the truth regarding Barrett's thoughts and emotions.

Tweet 46: Turns out Barrett's still pretty angry about Bo Dallas.

Jack Swagger v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 47: Jack Swagger has retired the push-ups and "crossing the line" spots from his ring entrance. He's retained the face slapping though, natch.

Tweet 48: Swagger's hair, when ruffled, makes him look like a manic rabbit.
Tweet 49: JBL thinks this average match against a mid-card wrestler is a great showing for Swagger. He is completely and utterly wrong.
Tweet 50: Swagger wins with the ankle lock. Somewhere in Florida Kurt Angle has a fit.

Alberto Del Rio attacks Big Show in a car park

Tweet 51: Why is Big Show arriving at the show twenty minutes before it finishes?
Tweet 52: Big Show is seven feet tall and weighs nearly 500 pounds. He is standing on a car. Is this a comedy segment?

Lovely bit of comedy selling from Big Show there

Tweet 53: Show escaped the psychotic World champ by stealing a car. Still no idea why he showed up.
Tweet 54: Why are ADR and Ricardo talking to each other in English?

Alberto Del Rio v Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 55: No Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Del Rio. We have to make do with... urgh... Lilian Garcia.

Tweet 56: Alberto Del Rio.
Tweet 57: Who wears short shorts? Big E wears short shorts.
Tweet 58: "Del Rio, the mastermind behind that superplex" - A complete sentence from Josh Mathews, who may as well just be spewing random words
Tweet 59: Fameasser!! #BadAssBillyZiggler
Tweet 60: Del Rio looks astonishingly bored. It borders on the hilarious. That's your babyface champion, folks!
Tweet 61: Ziggler taps to the cross arm breaker. Because Ziggler NEVER wins.
Tweet 62: Oh no! Big Show's back! And he's captured (yes, captured) Ricardo Rodriguez!
Tweet 63: Ricardo has been lamped again.
Tweet 64: The show goes off the air with ADR asking an unconcious man to speak to him. It is a low point.