The Certified Gs

Enzo Amore is a certified G and a bona fide stud. This, apparently, cannot be taught. Big Cass is seven feet tall. This definitely cannot be taught. Carmella is hot as hell. This is yet another thing that cannot be taught.

Despite their questionable grasp of subjects that can and cannot be taught Enzo, Big Cass and Carmella are one of NXT’s most popular acts. Considering the number of wrestlers on that show that can claim genuine popularity that’s quite the achievement. And what’s nice about their popularity is that the show’s writers seem in no hurry to rush them into something they’re not ready for, instead letting them refine what they do. Instead of being rushed into a split, as happens on the main roster, the three are simply being allowed to be a unit and perfect their team work and (hashtag) banter.

Nothing in this picture can be taught.

What’s interesting (to me at least) to note about them is how much they have in common with the New Age Outlaws. There’s the obvious fact that Enzo runs through some Road Dogg-esque spiel before every match, beginning with something people can shout along with before breaking off into something more specific to their situation. There’s also the fact that Cass, the larger member of the team, wears trunks while Enzo, the smaller man, wears… well, not traditional wrestling gear. Enzo has a peculiar hairstyle. Cass has one line that he uses repeatedly.

Those are visual things, but the analogy carries over to the pair’s matches. Generally Enzo gets worked over before tagging out to Cass. That’s the formula of many tag teams, but the Outlaws used it more the most. In fact they used it pretty much all the time, which is not necessarily a strength.

Carmella is not a natural fit in the Outlaws comparison. The closest the Outlaws ever came to having a manager was Chyna and (thankfully) Carmella is not in the Chyna mould. What we have in Carmella is a character who seems to have been introduced to give Enzo and Cass a long term story. It’s been made very clear that Enzo has a soft spot for the former hairdresser. His attempts to impress her have failed. She seems to tolerate him as a pal, seemingly getting along better with the more laid back Cass.

Right now it looks like Enzo is going to continue to try to impress Carmella and continue to fail. The likelihood is that his behaviour will keep costing he and Cass wins. My assumption is that Carmella will eventually reveal she’s more interested in the more relaxed, confident and friendly Cass than the overly-enthusiastic Enzo, perhaps leading to a break-up of the team. Although this being NXT, the place where WWE doesn’t just plough blindly through the obvious options, it’s possible Enzo will accept Carmella and Cass and continue the tag team.

It’s even possible the three will simply remain a group of pals and I hope this is what happens. I like them as they are and feel they’d be of more benefit to the main roster as a group than as unaffiliated acts. There are plenty of singles wrestlers in WWE. It’s tag teams that are needed. A split and a promotion to the main roster would likely see Enzo drifting aimlessly within months and Cass pushed too quickly, ending up a misfire in need of something to do before another headline push was sent his way (because size).

As a unit they complement one another and can contribute to making WWE’s doubles scene interesting. If they can get a team name sorted (I’d like to suggest The Certified Gs, because why not?) then they’d be pretty much ready to hit Monday nights. Not that that seems likely to happen any time soon.

Family Ties

Judging by videos we’ve seen over the last two weeks it looks as though Luke Harper and Erick Rowan may be getting split from Bray Wyatt and slotted into singles roles in the not-too-distant future. This is something WWE do pretty frequently, and it almost never works out. The reason for the all too consistent failure is simple: they don’t plan anything for the guys beyond the initial breakup of the team.

Nothing that’s been shown indicates that things will be different for Wyatt’s henchmen. Admittedly the story’s closer to its beginning than its end but the track record speaks for itself. For the most part WWE doesn’t do this particular wrestling plot well.

Look back at The Prime Time Players. They were not going to become the hottest thing in wrestling. They weren’t even going to become the hottest team in the promotion. But they’d gelled. They had a routine that people liked. A chant, a dance, and a whistle, nothing revolutionary but it was popular. They had a following and a regular spot on the card. They’d made the best of what they were given and did good work.

When they were split it became apparent that there were no plans in place for either man to do anything interesting as a singles performer. Titus revealed a nasty streak, violently attacking Darren Young after he’d lost them a tag match. The betrayal led to a match between the pair at Elimination Chamber. Titus won that and then… did nothing. He worked as a generic mid-card heel for a few months before settling into a fresh tag team with Heath Slater. D-Young was injured a couple of months into his time as a solo face, but nothing in that time indicated that WWE was about to initiate some master plan to turn him into a star.

Basically WWE took a very successful-by-modern-standards team and split them to get one match extra on to a pay-per-view. Then put one who’d been pushed harder after the breakup into a new team. So he’d have to start from scratch making his new unit work.

Nobody gained anything from this sequence. The profiles of both men dipped and a fun little double act was needlessly retired. It’s all too easy to find similar examples of pairings being prematurely disbanded for no reason throughout company history. It even happened to the New Age Outlaws at the height of their popularity.

What a good-looking pair of dudes.

Splitting the Wyatt clan now seems too early. It’s not that I think Bray Wyatt needs Harper and Rowan, or that Harper and Rowan particularly need him. Wyatt himself will survive a split whenever it comes. But Harper and Rowan need each other. In singles roles Harper and (particularly) Rowan would almost certainly become generically booked big lads drifting from one pointless match to the next, no hope of capturing a singles title or entering into a meaningful feud. Wyatt can survive lengthy periods of being obsolete because he has demonstrated what he’s capable of and his character is over. But Harper and Rowan can’t. They don’t have the same standing or presence.

The pair are best served as a tag team. That way they’re likelier to be included on shows and remain relevant. They can contribute more and Rowan can continue to benefit from teaming with a more capable, experienced partner. It’s also worth noting that being in a tag team doesn’t preclude Harper from being placed in singles matches. If WWE are desperate to trial him as a solo artist they could simply do so with big Erick at ringside. If Harper flourished in the role they could always have Rowan turn on him or him drop Rowan as a partner.

Without a plan a split is not going to work for anyone. And there’s no reason to believe WWE has one.

Bad Dust

Over the last two weeks we’ve been treated (and I use that term loosely) to seeing Goldust and Stardust turning heel. They’ve attacked the Usos after matches and cheated to gain a singles victory over them. Why this has happened is hard to figure out.

It was just about a year ago that Cody Rhodes found himself storyline-fired by the then-newly formed Authority. In Cody’s absence his brother Goldust returned to WWE screens in an effort to win his bro’s job back. He failed. Then Cody, after enjoying a real life honeymoon, showed back up and the brothers won themselves WWE contracts, and the tag team titles, in spirited matches against The Shield.

At the time it felt like a big deal for the brothers, particularly Cody. He’d turned babyface earlier in the year during an entertaining and expertly booked Money in the Bank match in which he was betrayed by so-called best friend and current Miz stunt double Damien Sandow. He seemed to be on the rise. An affable, talented guy that was finally getting his crack at progression.

The tag outings alongside Goldust were great. Everyone enjoyed them. Cody was praised for his work as a babyface after years of being the bad guy while Goldy was clearly having a career resurgence, doing some of the best work of his twenty-three year career. Alongside The Shield combo of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns they made tag team wrestling in WWE something to look forward to seeing. After years of the likes of Cryme Time that was quite the feat.

'Look, there goes your singles push!'

And this wasn’t the first time Cody Rhodes had been doing solid work when handed the opportunity. The year before he’d made the best of an incredibly bad situation by making his Intercontinental title feud with Big Show not entirely atrocious. The year before that he provided Rey Mysterio with his final noteworthy WWE feud. By the end of 2013 it was clear Cody Rhodes was a man who could and would make the most of any opportunity handed to him and that audiences would invest in him emotionally.

When 2014 began and the Rhodes brothers dropped the tag titles to the New Age Outlaws it felt like a split was being prepared. That turned out not to be the case, which was a pleasant surprise. It seemed that WWE understood what they had in the genuinely popular combo of Cody Rhodes and Goldust and that they were going to keep them both affiliated. My assumption was that they would either go through a peaceful split or that they’d remain affiliated but work more singles outings in order to prepare Cody for a bigger role.

Instead they remained together and stagnated. They started being booked as an afterthought and people, naturally enough, lost interest in them. If viewers aren’t given a reason to care about a performer or a tag team then they probably won’t.

This stagnation led to WWE turning Cody Rhodes into Stardust, basically another Goldust character, in what we can only assume was a half-hearted attempt at freshening them up. That not only neutered ‘The Bizarre’s One’s’ appeal, that he was an oddball unique on the WWE roster, but also harmed Cody’s already damaged image as a man ready to break out as a singles star. Becoming a clone of an overly familiar character his brother had played to near enough perfection for a little under two decades did nothing for him. It was a regression.

So what we have now is Cody Rhodes and Goldust dressing and acting the same, taking away an aspect of their pairing that was originally enjoyable (Cody being nonplussed by his brother’s peculiarity) and being bad guys for no reason. Well, no reason beyond the creative team not knowing what else to do with them. They were far more effective as good guys, as demonstrated by their popularity when given things to do last autumn and at the start of this year. Cody’s prospects as a singles star were far greater as a good guy too.

WrestleMania XXX preview and predictions

 

So here we are again. Another WrestleMania. But this isn’t just any WrestleMania. This is the thirtieth WrestleMania. If ‘Mania XXV is anything to go by that means that it’s also the thirtieth anniversary of the event. Thankfully the anniversary tag doesn’t seem to have been brought up this year. It seems as though someone at WWE has learned to count. Or it’s been decided that WrestleMania XXX is a big enough deal to succeed without erroneous celebratory milestones being deployed.

‘Mania XXX is going to be a big deal. That’s obvious. Each year WWE does it’s darnedest to make WrestleMania more impressive, glitzy, memorable and spectacular than it was the year before. They don’t always succeed but it’s not for lack of trying. Everyone in the company pulls out all the stops for ‘Mania, from the wrestlers to the writing team to Kevin Dunn’s army of production staff. WrestleMania, as WWE’s flagship show, is intended to be the biggest spectacle of the wrestling world (and the non-wrestling world come to that) every year.

Something I’ve never written about when previewing a show before is the set design and colour scheme. This is largely because I only preview WWE shows and generally all we get is some fireworks and video packages. But WrestleManias are different. There’ll still be fireworks and video packages (obvs) but ‘Mania is the one show of the year at which top wrestlers get specially designed entrances and there’s a chance that the show will kick off with something other than the standard issue pyro.

What that could be for WrestleMania XXX is anyone’s guess. Production tsar Kevin Dunn has made a reputation over the last several years of concocting lavish sets and impressively choreographed sequences for WWE shows. The obvious thing would be a street carnival, seeing as the show’s being hosted in notorious party town New Orleans. Flamenco dancers, jazz trumpeters, and scantily clad women draped in feather boas and absurd headdresses would feel thematically appropriate. But who can say if Mr Dunn will take the obvious route. He may have something just as relevant but far less predictable in store. A safer bet is that the colour scheme will feature a lot of purple. Photos of the set released on Twitter confirms this but even without that the logo that’s been hanging from the rafters on RAW all year has been purple, tipping WWE’s hand.

But what most people (if not all people) reading this will be concerned with are the matches. That is, after all, why we tune into wrestling events. When looking at the WrestleMania card there’s one match that stands head and shoulders above all others. One that’s been months in the making. One that will feature one of the most popular WWE performers of recent years, who I’m sure will end up considering WrestleMania XXX as a significant milestone in their career.

I am of course talking about AJ Lee defending her Divas championship in the Vickie Guerrero Invitational. Ms Lee will defend her title against the thirteen other women who make up the promotion’s female main roster. That includes the Bella twins, the Funkadactyls, newcomer Emma, ballroom valet Summer Rae and AJ’s bodyguard Tamina. We are, I think, supposed to anticipate a showdown between AJ and Tamina which results in AJ finally receiving her comeuppance as a heel.

It would be more effective to deliver that in a singles match between an officially turned Tamina and cowering heel champ AJ but I can understand WWE taking this approach. They want to get as many people onto the card as they can, partly as an act of kindness and partly because they seem to enjoy loading up ‘Mania cards divisible by ten with every member of the roster possible. That and they couldn’t leave the cast of the immensely popular Total Divas on the sidelines while two women not featured on the show ate up a single spot between them. Oh, and the fact that Tamina versus AJ probably wouldn’t have been much good because a split hadn’t been sufficiently teased and so the crowd wouldn’t have been primed to want to see AJ take a pasting.

Multi-person matches like this are a devil to predict. They’re the ideal way to deliver a surprise. Come Sunday April 6 AJ will have held the championship for 294 days. That feels like a long enough reign to me. Switching the belt would get a great reaction and shake up the Divas division. As much as I like AJ and think she deserves the title a change is needed to stir up some interest in the division. A popular, talented performer can only hold the title for so long before someone else needs to take the reins to create fresh scenarios.

Almost anyone could relieve ‘The Black Widow’ of her butterfly-shaped hardware. Nikki Bella seems to have been set up as a female wrestler of significance in recent weeks. And in fairness she has improved in the ring so wouldn’t be the worst choice. Naomi is pushed as the best female athlete on the roster and has been given non-title wins over the champ on TV, the most recent being on the pre-‘Mania RAW. Reactions to her and dance partner Cameron are generally little more than tepid but a reign for her could be made to work, particularly if it were kept short. Tamina winning the belt would allow the division to have a “monster” champion, something it’s not ever had, at least during the modern era. That would also allow for the tried and tested breakup storyline that WWE seem to want to go with.

But of everyone in the match I’m going to go with Brie Bella. The second and current series of Total Divas will apparently climax with her getting hitched to Daniel Bryan. If he were to win the WWE championship (find out how likely I think that is below) it would allow TD to spin the finale as two champs tying the knot. That’s not particularly thrilling to me but I bet it is to TV execs. Far less importantly Brie is capable of decent matches when she puts her mind to it, so the in-ring quality of the Divas division wouldn’t take a catastrophic hit if she became its figurehead.

A similar match is the tag team championship match. Sibling champs Jimmy and Jey Uso will defend the titles they won on March 3 in Chicago against Los Matadores, The Real Americans and RybAxel. When I say similar I’m referring to the result rather than the content. It’s another instance of a bout that could be used to produce something surprising. Switching the titles is a good way of getting a loud reaction from the crowd (and while the crowd will be boisterous for the big matches it’s unlikely they’ll get overly worked up for undercard outings like this one) and would create some tension in the doubles division. If the Uso brothers are to become the reliable, ever-popular duo WWE clearly wants them to be they’re going to have to lose and regain the belts a time or two. Losing the belts encourages fans to continue supporting the lads in their quest (because champions can’t really go on a quest) and regaining them shows that the Usos didn’t fluke their first golden win.

Los Matadores may seem like a tandem that can be easily eliminated as potential winners but that’s not the case. With The Prime Time Players split and The Real Americans looking set to join them the matadors are one of the few regular tandems left on the books who could work a long series with the current champions. There’s a lot of merchandise potential in the pair and they can have good matches. WWE needs little more reason to give them the titles.

While The Real Americans seem on the cusp of a split, with Cesaro being the one who’ll go on to bigger and better things, it’s not impossible that they’ll get a tag title run beforehand. The right sequence of events could actually add to their parting of ways: one member could clear the ring of opposition at ‘Mania and get the winning pin fall with the other member responsible for losing the titles (to the Usos, Los Matadores or whoever) the following evening on RAW. With the difference in capability highlighted the guy who won the gold could turn on the guy who lost it. The story could work stretched to Extreme Rules but a one night reign would help to emphasise the different roles of the teammates in winning and losing the gold.

RybAxel are, like Los Matadores, likely to stay together. Unlike Los Matadores they don’t seem like they’ve got much of a chance at winning the titles. There’s nothing marketable about them, they’re unlikely to be turned into good guys, and the only reason they’re together is because WWE had nothing else for them to do. I think they’d be fun as the tag champs, mainly because Ryback’s character has become absurd, but it seems a long shot.

All of this said I’m going to predict an Uso victory. It took forever for them to be given the titles and I think they’ll hold on to them for quite a while before losing them, solidifying their position as a top team. Whoever wins this match has a fair chance at being one of the most action-packed of the night. It probably won’t last very long which should see the match amount to a swift progression of signature moves and high spots.

Sticking with tag team action The New Age Outlaws will team with Kane to take on The Shield. This one is something of a surprise to me. I was convinced at the start of the year that WWE were going to split The Shield in time for ‘Mania so as to present a triple threat match that would function as a launching pad for a Roman Reigns solo push. Reigns’ impressive outing at the Royal Rumble, eliminating a record twelve men and being the final man eliminated, only made me more certain of this.

I’m pleased Reigns has remained associated with Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins. While all three have singles potential they are currently better off being part of a team. They complement one another, disguise one another’s weaknesses, and enhance one another’s strengths. The trio is greater than the sum of their parts.

This match should be very good. Everyone has something to offer. Road Dogg and Billy Gunn can still bump around like they did in their prime, which will make their foes look good and encourage strong crowd reactions (which will be strong to begin with because people love The Shield). Rollins is seemingly inexhaustible and has proven very good at stringing together high-flying offensive sequences that bring crowds to their feet (and put a smile on Reigns’ face). Ambrose’s wild, magnetic personality draws people in, as does the peculiar way he performs otherwise basic moves (watch his drop kick). Kane, always pretty good when it comes to making his character work, has been a blast as Corporate Kane, unleashing a dazzling array of facial expressions. And Reigns, when kept in reserve for a hot tag that sets him up to take out everyone opposing him, is one of the most popular men on the roster. Not only that but The Shield have been together long enough now to know how to structure a sequence that lets everyone shine.

I favour the men in black for the win. ‘The Big Red Machine’ and his teammates are supporting rather than main cast these days. As three men who should play significant roles in WWE for years to come The Shield need the victory more. That and they’re the cohesive team. The only reason I can see for a Shield loss is to (re)start the split of the group. That’s not something I want to believe WWE are going to do any time soon.

The final undercard match is the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal. In storyline this was added to the card after Hulk Hogan spent an afternoon watching his WrestleMania III clash with Andre over and over again. That’s not especially relevant but I feel it’s worth mentioning because it conjurs an amusing image. There will be thirty entrants in the match, consisting of every man on the main roster not involved in a match elsewhere on the card. Except Bad News Barrett and Yoshi Tatsu (although it’s possible that Tatsu is no longer considered a main roster player).

Correctly predicting a winner in this match is practically impossible. WWE could do almost anything with it. They could use it to bring attention to someone not currently doing very much, like Titus O’Neil or Sin Cara. They could give the nod to The Miz to keep his thoroughly unimpressive but nonetheless real WrestleMania winning streak alive (and as it’s something they’ve had ‘The Awesome One’ draw attention to in the past I don’t think this possibility can be completely ruled out). Sheamus, as one of the few significant names not to be involved in a significant match, could be booked to win the thing. There are lots of directions WWE could take.

The one I’m predicting they’ll go in is the big man victory. Andre the Giant’s gimmick was that he always won battle royals. It would probably be seen as a fitting tribute to him to have one of the larger men on the roster take home the trophy here. That leaves us with The Great Khali, Mark Henry and Big Show to choose from. Henry is more of a monster than a giant, so I‘d rule him out. Khali is a limited comedy performer who doesn’t even seem worthy of this “honour”, so he can be ruled out too. Which leaves me with ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’. Which doesn’t seem too ridiculous. He is not only a wrestling giant but a wrestling giant who was routinely compared to Andre during the early years of his career. He was even billed as Andre’s son in WCW. It would feel appropriate for him to win here, and that’s about as good a reason as any to pick a win when you have thirty men to choose from.

Interestingly three spots remain open for the battle royal. I’m hoping WWE fills them with deserving cameos. Chris Jericho is an obvious name to throw out, as is Rob Van Dam. Although it should be noted that Alexander Rusev hasn’t been confirmed for anything at WrestleMania and this would be a good way of getting him some ring time. I wouldn’t be that surprised if he won it. It would give him a strong start to his career.

Speaking of the battle royal, John Cena originally announced that he would be an entrant. That was a laugh. Anyone who believed Cena would share his ‘Mania XXX match with twenty-nine other guys hasn’t been following WWE for very long. His mind was changed when Bray Wyatt rocked up and started running him down, prompting him to issue a challenge to ‘The Eater of Worlds’ which was accepted.

Cena versus Wyatt is a strange pairing. Cena is the clean cut valiant babyface. Wyatt is an unkempt swamp preacher shadowed by two fellow undesirables. Cena is the company’s top star. Wyatt has been on the main roster for less than a year. That they’ve been put together indicates that Cena’s role is becoming less about continually regaining and losing the WWE championship and more about helping to establish new stars. As the top boy he’s the best placed person to accomplish that feat: even a cheated victory over Cena can help a rising name to stand out.

Questions of quality could potentially be raised regarding this bout. Cena is regarded as a limited worker and Wyatt has yet to win people over. I think there’s every chance they’ll do produce something great. Cena had the best year of his career in the ring last year and has shown that he’s willing to sell for and play fearful when confronted by Wyatt and his boys over the last two months. Meanwhile Wyatt is coming off of back-to-back match of the night performances on the last two WWE pay-per-views. Yes he was in the ring with Daniel Bryan and The Shield but he was a passenger in neither match. He pulled his weight with crisp, charismatic performances.

Those last two performances indicate that WWE has big plans for Wyatt. He defeated both Bryan and The Shield clean, getting the win in the six man tag after hitting Sister Abigail on Reigns. It could just be that he was being built up with wins so that he was a more impressive man for Cena to defeat on ‘The Grandest Stage of Them All’ but I don’t want to believe WWE is that short-sighted. At just twenty-six Wyatt could be a money maker for years to come, but he has to be solidified as a star first. There’s no clearer way of saying someone is a big deal in WWE than having them pin John Cena. It doesn’t need to be clean, and it probably won’t be, but Bray winning is the result WWE to go with in this match. Cena can get his wins in the feud at a later date.

Mentioning Cena feels like a natural way to bring up Hulk Hogan. He will be the host of this year’s ‘Mania. What that entails is not exactly clear, a deliberate move so that WWE is not obligated to do anything particular with him and can chop and change his role on the card depending on their whims at the time. He will presumably kick off the show with a promo referencing his past at the event. Introducing the battle royal or the main event, or presenting the title belts to the winner of the main event, wouldn’t be unexpected either.

What I don’t want is someone interrupting ‘The Hulkster’. As he can’t take any bumps such a confrontation would end with Hogan flattening whoever was daring to share his spotlight. That would almost certainly be a young heel (I’ve already noted Bad News Barrett is not currently scheduled to appear on the show). Taking a pasting for a sixty-year-old man who’s shrunk four inches since his prime isn’t going to help anyone’s career prospects.

Without doubt the most obvious outcome on the card is The Undertaker’s match. At this point it’s inconceivable that ‘The Dead Man’ will lose at WrestleMania. I don’t think any doubt will be cast on the outcome of any of his ‘Mania performances until he announces his final one. And he will announce his final one ahead of time because The Streak has become such an important part of modern WrestleMania lore that WWE would want to milk that final appearance for all it’s worth. That can only be done if people know ahead of time that no matter the outcome ‘Taker will be making his final in-ring appearance. Without that foreknowledge ‘The Dead Man’ cannot be given the send-off he deserves on the show he has become synonymous with. As I’ve written many times before I think that final appearance, whenever it comes, will be opposite John Cena.

WM30 will see ‘The Phenom’ opposed by Brock Lesnar. The build-up to the match has been subpar, both in the short- and long-term. Short-term we saw both Undertaker and Lesnar return on the February 24 RAW and engage in… a contract signing. ‘Taker did stab a pen into Lesnar’s hand and choke slam him through a table but on the whole it was a less than impressive start. Things haven’t been helped since with the rivalry progressing primarily via Paul Heyman promos covering the same base points, which have failed to make for exciting television. The nineties-style magical altercations involving caskets and druids haven’t made me eager to see the match either. Nor has Lesnar’s sole dominant performance on the March 31 RAW.

Luckily for WWE The Undertaker is not a man who requires a lot of hype for his ‘Mania matches now. His recent track record of producing the best bout on the show and seeing how well he can do convincing viewers that he may lose are the attractions now. But something has to be put on TV before the match to inform and remind people it’s happening.

It would have been nice if WWE had reminded people that ‘The Beast’ has defeated Undertaker before, just never at WrestleMania. It would have made Heyman’s promos more varied and lent a sliver of credibility to Lesnar’s boast that he will break wrestling’s most impressive record. There’s still time for those wins to be mentioned in the pre-match hype videos but it would have been far more effective mentioned early on.

The top two matches are entwined with one another. At some point before the main event Triple H and Daniel Bryan will face one another and the winner will progress to the WWE championship match involving number one contender Batista and champion Randy Orton. The roots of Bryan v Triple H can be traced back to SummerSlam, and while it’s not been their plan all along to have the two face off in a singles encounter here it’s fitting that they’ve ended up doing so. ‘The Game’ is the man who cost Bryan his first WWE championship after mere minutes and the man who stripped him of his second WWE championship after a day. There is a clear reason for the two to oppose one another and the tension has been heightened by Triple H’s months of refusal (he first said no in August of last year) to wrestle Bryan.

On a more basic level this match works because it is the company’s most popular star, chosen by the people rather than selected and pushed as such by management, against the embodiment of the WWE system. It’s a dynamic that I think WWE have searched for, whether they’ve known it or not, since the McMahon-Austin feud in the nineties: an authority figure who can actually get into the ring and wrestle a compelling, satisfying, high quality match. This match allows the fans’ avatar to give the systems’ avatar a good kicking and emerge triumphant. The system can literally be beaten.

I want to believe that’s what will happen. There’s a niggling feeling at the back of my mind that WWE will get this wrong at the last minute and have Triple H beat Bryan, win the championship, and then face him in a rematch for the gold at Extreme Rules. Or that they will stubbornly go with what was probably their original plan and have Batista win. Or that they will harken back to a few months ago and have Orton “beat the odds” again. Any of these scenarios would be bad. Bryan’s story needs to peak at WrestleMania, in front of WWE’s largest, most passionate audience of the year, many of whom will be the same people who helped popularise the “Yes!” chant two years ago at WrestleMania XXVIII. This is WWE’s grandest stage and it has to be where Daniel Bryan finally gets his reward for months of struggle.

I expect both Bryan v Triple and the headline triple threat match will be of high quality. Bryan is such a popular figure that he and ‘The King of Kings’ could tear the house down having just a basic match. Neither man would be happy with the basics though: they will want the best match possible. The main event will have one man who can, when he chooses, be a superb worker in Randy Orton and one man who is the most loathed heel on the planet in Batista. They guarantee match quality and heat respectively, although there is some overlap in that ‘The Viper’ is an effective heel in his own right and ‘The Animal’ can, on occasion, produce a match that is above average.

Either triple threat would be a good wrestling match, but only one will satisfy fans. A Triple H main event would be drowned in boos, catcalls and irreverent chants. A Bryan main event would be bathed in cheers, “Yes!” chants and explosions of positivity whenever Bryan hits a move. I’m sure WWE won’t pass up the chance to give Bryan a career highlight like that. More importantly I don’t think they’ll risk alienating their fans in such a high profile environment. WrestleMania XXX will be Daniel Bryan’s night. And it’s a night he’s more than earned.

Predictions summary:

Daniel Bryan to defeat Randy Orton and Batista for the WWE championship
Daniel Bryan to defeat Triple H
The Undertaker to defeat Brock Lesnar
Bray Wyatt to defeat John Cena
Big Show to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal
The Shield to defeat Kane and The New Age Outlaws
The Usos to retain the tag team championship
Brie Bella to win the Divas championship

That RAW Recap 24.03.14

With two weeks left until arguably the most important show in company history WWE had a fair amount to accomplish on the March 24 RAW. Going into the show the undercard of WrestleMania XXX was distinctly lacking in shape. The big matches were, and remain, all in place but the rest of the card needed to be announced so that it didn’t feel cobbled together. Throughout the course of RAW it became apparent that building the WrestleMania XXX undercard was a priority.

Stephanie McMahon opened the show with thanks for the audience for attending and news that Daniel Bryan would not be competing. Bryan was not medically cleared to wrestle. At no point was this directly attributed to the beating he had suffered at the hands of Triple H the week before, even though said beating was the basis of a later segment. Which felt like a wasted opportunity. Steph justified the attack by saying that a message needed to be sent to the locker room so that nobody started to develop ideas above their station. Beating Bryan senseless was "the only way" to get him to listen.

Then she talked up her family. Again. Interestingly this included her saying she felt she is the only person capable of shouldering the responsibility of decision making. She then added that Triple H is the most powerful man (emphasising man) in WWE while talking him up. The more comments like that get made (and they're getting made routinely) the more material Vince McMahon will have to work with when he returns to TV. Which will surely be soon.

Randy Orton (wearing his ring gear even though he wouldn’t wrestle on the show) joined Steph in the ring to offer a suggestion: that 'The Game' simply end his WrestleMania XXX at beating Daniel Bryan, because Orty will have to batter him if he enters the triple threat. The suggestion was met with "Boring!" and "Daniel Bryan!" chants, the latter of which prompted Steph to reiterate her promise that he wouldn't be on the show.

Just when viewers were thinking things couldn't possibly get any more charismatic Batista mooched down to the ring. This week's natty ensemble was a merch T-shirt, sunglasses and some ripped jeans. It turned out hearing the two talking had compelled Batista to remind the world that he's going to be the next champion. His proof was that he's been saying he'll be the champion for weeks. On Planet Batista saying something repeatedly makes it true. He then said "Deal with it" three times. Whether you like him or not you have to admit he makes a compelling argument.

In fairness 'The Animal' did bring up something relevant to the storyline after that when he mentioned that Triple H has never beaten him. Then he said Orton's sucking up to The Authority makes him sick and cracked a joke about Stephanie being drooled over. Steph slapped the shades off Batista's face and left. Then Batista speared Orton and posed with the belts.

The segment did little other than establish that Orton and Batista are underestimating Bryan. The most entertaining part of it was Batista's microphone malfunctioning. He tried a witty, off the cuff remark when that happened, but it was poorly delivered and not at all witty anyway so he was booed for it. Orton turned around to hide his laughter.

The evening's first match was a four-way match to decide who'd get to challenge for the Intercontinental championship the following night on Main Event. The competitors were Sheamus, Christian, Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio. IC champ Big E sat at ringside and watched. It would have been nice to have him on commentary. The match was fun in places but was mostly unmemorable. It did have an above average finishing sequence though: Sheamus stood up while Del Rio had the cross armbreaker applied to him, at which point 'The Show Off' nipped in and delivered a Zig Zag to the arm barred arm. Before he could make a cover he was dropped with an Unprettier by Christian, giving 'Captain Charisma' the victory and the title match.

Big E entered the ring and offered a handshake to the veteran. Christian laughed and walked off. Backwards up the ramp, natch.

A Wyatt Family vignette was shown. Before he started the standard issue gibberish waffling Bray came out with some enjoyable stuff about people not believing in things they can't see, being able to see John Cena, and Cena not taking the time to "see" him. Luke Harper also got a few lines about being able to hear Cena whispering. He has a wonderfully dead stare that makes these sorts of statements particularly effective. Erick Rowan said nothing, although he was looking dapper in his sheep mask and boiler suit.

This sort of thing happens now. Get over it

After Sin Cara (accompanied by a bloke in a Scooby Doo outfit) had beaten Damien Sandow with a Swanton bomb there was a thirty second match between Los Matadores and RybAxel. Diego and Fernando won when The Shield walked to ringside through the crowd and distracted Curtis Axel. Ryback was isolated in the ring, speared and triple power bombed, all to the sound of cheers. People are not keen on 'The Big Guy'.

The first hour of RAW ended with a sitdown chat between Michael Cole and Triple H. The point of it was to discuss 'The Cerebral Assassin's' attack on a handcuffed D-Bry at the end of the previous week's show. Triple H's immediate response when asked about the attack was whether he should answer as the COO or a competitor. Then he mentioned Bryan's occupy RAW segment from March 10, calling it an attempted coup. Tripper's defence seemed to be that Daniel Bryan had done something wrong so it was perfectly reasonable for him to respond in kind. That's probably not how things work other publically traded corporate entities, but who cares about that, eh?

Cole replied that Bryan's occupation of the ring was "an inspiring act" while Triple H's attack was an act of "thug-like aggression". It's hard to disagree with the latter. Trip's response to that was that Bryan had asked him to be a competitor and that when he was a full-time competitor he did things like that all the time. Which is true of course, but doesn't exactly excuse his heelish behaviour. Basically the segment was proof that extended debating on the motivations of wrestling bad guys is ill advised.

The segment ended with Triple H working himself up and announcing the beginning of The Reality Era (something I don't think will catch on). He used the word "reality" what must have been at least a dozen times as he said he'd end Bryan's run on top and become the WWE champion. Reality is best for business.

'Crazy Legs' Fandango

Match four saw Cody Rhodes facing Faaaaaan... daaaaaan... goooooo. Summer Rae being at ringside was an excuse for the commentary crew to plug Total Divas. They seized it with gusto, Cole referring to Summer as a stooge (apparently for something that had happened on the previous evening's TD). Over at the ring Goldust and Summer got into a pose off at ringside, distracting Fandango and allowing Cody to win the match with a Disaster Kick.

That was followed by another promo. This one featured Hulk Hogan, who got a loud reaction and avoided tearing his shirt, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Joe Manganiello (no idea). After 'The Hulkster' had made the obligatory trip down memory lane he introduced the actors, both of whom were cheered, to put over WWE and talk up their film (and, in Arnie's case, Hogan's muscles). Arnie asked if there were spots for he and Manganiello in the battle royal but before Hogan could answer (his body language was supposed to make us think he was interested in adding two non-wrestlers, one of whom is 66, to the battle royal) The Miz interrupted.

Through a sequence of events too boring to relay 'The Awesome One' was expelled from the ring. The babyface trio celebrated. The entire ten minute sequence was mostly wretched but it was at least a good use of Hogan. And if celebrities have to appear on RAW (and the way WWE functions means that they do) then this is an effective enough way of using them.

After Big Show had beaten Titus O'Neil with a WMD punch we were shown The Authority and The Shield talking in an office. Triple H told the trio that their problem with Kane and The New Age Outlaws (a feud which has mostly built up on SmackDown) is nothing to do with him. Stephanie said if they were looking for vengeance she'd give them a match with The Real Americans later on in the show. She neglected to explain how exactly that classified as vengeance.

Elsewhere in the building John Cena was washing his face. The sheep mask of Erick Rowan was shown peeking around a door frame (too high to be on Rowan's head at the angle it was at, meaning it was held by hand) "watching" Cena. When the hero span round the mask was gone. I'd like to think this was a tribute to The Warrior appearing to Hollywood Hogan inside a mirror on Nitro.

Bray Wyatt, King of Expressions

The Harper v Cena match that followed was very enjoyable. The Brooklyn crowd backed the Family member over Cena, which ensured a loud and lively atmosphere. Harper used uppercuts, a super kick, a suicide dive, a Raven-esque DDT and a Michinoku driver to wear Cena down, but ultimately it wouldn't be his match to win (which I don't think would have surprised anybody watching). But it wouldn't be Cena's either. As he scooped Harper up for an AA the lights went out. When they came on seconds later Cena was tied up in the ropes with Rowan's sheep mask on his face. Bray laughed and called him two-faced as the crowd broke out in a "This is awesome!" chant. It wasn't awesome, but it was a nice step in building Bray up as someone who has a chance at toppling the unstoppable force that is John Cena.

Naomi v AJ Lee was next. That Naomi (currently wearing an eye patch) has not been repackaged as a pirate shows how uninspired WWE's creative department is. This has been a wasted opportunity to introduce a much needed gimmick performer to the Divas division.

The match lasted less than a minute. AJ took some drop kicks before scooting to the outside to take a count out loss. Vickie Guerrero reminded everyone of her existence when she wandered out and announced that AJ would defend her championship in a Vickie Guerrero Invitational at WrestleMania. Vickie revealed that everyone will get a crack at AJ Lee (insert your own jokes here), including the champ's bodyguard Tamina. She then did a lengthy Rita Repulsa laugh to close the segment.

Before the evening's final match it was announced that Razor Ramon is to be included in this year’s Hall of Fame honours. Not Scott Hall but Razor Ramon. Only work from that period of Hall's career was shown. He’s a deserving name and I think it makes sense to induct him as 'The Bad Guy'. Not only was that when he did his best work but it was also when he first became a star. It's the WWE Hall of Fame and everything of note he did in the company was done as Razor Ramon.

Cesaro v Rollins would be a nice, lengthy SmackDown match. Just saying

Ambrose and Rollins versus Swagger and Cesaro was, fittingly, the best match of the night. Ambrose found himself isolated for several minutes, eventually getting a hot tag that allowed Rollins to come in and take out both foes in a sequence that saw him monkey flip Cesaro over the top rope and immediately follow up with a suicide dive to each man. Moments later he did his single foot stomp to the head, now being called Peace of Mind, on Swagger to get the win. If they'd had twenty minutes the four could have produced something superb.

After the match The Shield pulled the announce desk apart and power bombed Cesaro through it. Then Kane and the Outlaws showed up, all three in suits, to announce a six man tag match for WrestleMania XXX: The Shield v Kane and The New Age Outlaws.

The final part of the show was a confrontation between Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker. This started off with Paul Heyman doing some talking in the ring. It wasn't bad as such, but it is becoming apparent that Heyman doesn't have anything left to say on the subject of The Streak that he's not already said several times before. Basically, 'The Beast' will end The Streak.

Lesnar did a rare bit of mic work for himself. He simply said he was at RAW to fight, not promote. That brought 'The Dead Man's' druids out to the ring with a coffin. After lining it up neatly alongside the ring they filed back into the aisle, leaving Lesnar to kick at and then wrench open the coffin. Finding nobody in there he walked into the aisle and ranted at the druids.

Undertaker and Sin Cara share lighting

Annoyed, 'The Pain' slammed the casket shut and shouted that he was going to leave. Heyman talked him around, yammering about 'Taker being scared then seeking (and finding) cheap heat by calling Brooklyn a slum. The lid then opened, revealing that 'Big Evil' was inside (it's almost like these things are paced so Undertaker has time to climb into the coffin from a hiding place or something). 'Taker clambered out and exchanged blows with Lesnar before Lesnar was clotheslined out of the ring, landing head first on the coffin.

RAW went off the air with the two men staring at one another.

All told it was a successful show. They announced three ‘Mania matches (the third was RybAxel challenging the Usos for the tag straps) and reminded people why The Shield, Lesnar, Undertaker, and Bray Wyatt are significant names in 2014. Considering there was more talking than wrestling, and no Daniel Bryan, I think we should be impressed with how good the show was.

Next week’s the big test, of course. That’s the final RAW before WrestleMania XXX. Expect big things.

Elimination Chamber 2014 review

Last night WWE did what they could do all the time but only seem to do rarely. They produced an excellent pay-per-view. The show never dipped below good in terms of match quality and everyone who appeared seemed to be doing everything in their power to make themselves stand out. That’s such a rarity with WWE that it stood out. Everyone, from Big E and Jack Swagger to the six men in the titular title tussle, did everything they could to make this a great event. And it paid off. If only WWE could do this all the time.

The evening’s action kicked off with the pre-show tag match. Larry ‘The Axe’ Hennig, a big name a couple of decades ago who lives in the area, accompanied his grandson Curtis Axel, along with The Ryback, to ringside for their encounter with the Rhodes bros Goldust and Cody. The four put on an energetic show which did a good job of presenting the teams as even. It was the former tag champs who went over though, with Cody hitting Cross Rhodes for the win.

The only other noteworthy thing on the pre-show was the expert panel of Mark Henry, The Miz and Rey Mysterio being introduced. The talked up the night’s card in the standard fashion.

The show proper kicked off with Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter being introduced. As they meandered to the ring (Zeb is not a man who merely walks) they told us that the E in Big E stands for “enough”. Big Enough? Doesn’t make sense to me. Zeb revealing that his reasoning was that Big E hasn’t done enough as Intercontinental champion to improve the standard of living in North America didn’t help matters. If anything it left me more confused.

Big E got booed as he smacked his chest and roared on the apron. He managed to win the audience over during the match, thanks to a combination of a fast paced, E’s power moves, and Swagger taking some impressive bumps to help make his foe look impressive and playing the coward in the early minutes. Their greatest moment saw Big catch Swag as he attempted a Swagger bomb, then, realising he couldn't hit him with the Big Ending, dunk him onto the apron and spear him down to the mats. It got a well-earned "Holy shit!" chant.

Whoever thought Swagger and Big E would produce anything special?

The match was the first of many that felt like both men trying to prove something to the fans, and possibly management and themselves too. If so it worked. It was the best match I've ever seen the former Langston have and the best non-gimmick outing I've seen from Swaggalag. This is what I was talking about when I mentioned wrestlers being given more freedom on this show. Big E retained after countering out of the patriot lock and hitting the Big Ending.

As the champ celebrated Bad News Barrett appeared. His bad news was that Russia had outperformed the US in the Winter Olympics. I have some bad news at this point too. It was not the last we’d see of the former Nexus frontman on the show.

After some video recaps and Byron interviewing Bryan, both of which were designed to remind us the latter was not at one hundred per cent, it was time for the tag team title match. It was another great outing. The Outlaws fell about all over the place like they were still in their prime. The Usos kept up with some big falls of their own. Particularly impressive were a tope and a rough hip toss into the corner from Road Dogg.

I'd expected the match to end in a way that setup a rematch. That wasn't the case. Billy got a roll up on Jimmy after he'd super kicked Road Dogg off the apron. It was clean but I still expect the teams to clash again at WrestleMania. It feels as though WWE are ready to make a move with the Usos.

Wade Barrett returned to tell fans that Daniel Bryan would lose the Elimination Chamber match. That would make the fans turn on him and bring an end to the yes movement. The fans responded with a no chant.

Darren Young and Titus O'Neil sadly weren't able to keep the hot streak of matches going. They did what they could, D-Young looking impressive tumbling over the ring post to the floor and Titus doing everything in his power to look like an unstoppable monster, but the fans just weren't interested. I suspect that was a mixture of their issue seeming forced and the match's place on the show. Titus won a competent match with Clash of the Titus.

Bad News was out again after that. His bad news was that he had overshadowed  Hulk Hogan. That didn’t qualify as news or truth but hey, that’s the WWE creative team for you. Over on the expert panel ‘The World’s Strongest Man’ revealed he's unhappy with what's happened between the PTPs and Miz and Rey raved about the IC and tag matches respectively.

Best Shield match ever?

Both The Shield and The Wyatt Family got cheered as they were introduced for the six man tag match. The audience roared out chants for both units as they stared each other down. Ambrose threw the first punch, triggering a ruckus that his team got the better of. The match that followed was one of the best I've ever seen from either team. All six men looked good, doing everything they could to make the match exciting and memorable and stuffing it with special moments: the initial meeting of Reigns and Wyatt, an incredible clothesline from Harper, Rollins getting choke bombed through the Spanish announce table, and Reigns powering out of Sister Abigail and taking out all three Wyatt members being just some of them. It could not have been better. The crowd made it even better: the reaction they gave the match made it seem like a big deal. It's a shame it couldn't be saved until WrestleMania.

Presumably it wasn't because bigger and better things are planned for 'The Granddaddy of Them All'. Reigns took the loss, being pinned by Bray Wyatt, which could see him labelled as the weak link by Ambrose and-or Rollins. A three-way match seems the obvious thing for WWE to present at this point, and considering the way the group's been built up the natural place for it to happen is WrestleMania. Hopefully that match can match this one. It won't be easy.

Backstage Renee Young spoke to Christian. He said he'd win the WWE title. Nobody believed him.

AJ Lee extended her 252 day Divas title reign went to 253 by escaping her encounter with Cameron with the gold. They didn't get long and so smartly focused on interacting with the crowd as opposed to trying to cram in a load of moves. It was most notable for Tamina accidentally super kicking her charge and then roughing up Cameron to cause the DQ. The dissent between AJ and Tamina will probably lead to a match at WrestleMania.

Bad News Barrett's final piece of bad news was that the WWE Network will be so good that people will become obsessed with it. Kids will be expelled to lack of attendance and adults will lose jobs. It was painful, as were all his segments. As I’ve written before, this is not the character that’s going to turn Wade Barrett into a star.

After Emma, The (Not So) Great Khali, Los Matadores, El Torito and Santino were shown playing with a LEGO-like toy in the back it was time for Batista v Alberto Del Rio. The audience made it very clear that they weren't fans of 'The Animal' by giving him the loudest boos of the night. Batista did a typically poor job rising above the response while the announcers no-sold the boos.

Who could resist cheering this?

ADR came out on a crutch and said he wouldn't be able to compete. The inevitable attack didn't get the blistering heat that was expected for two reasons. One: it was obvious that it was coming. Two: people wanted to see Del Rio assault Batista. The fans chanted "Sie!" and "Bootista" throughout the match, also throwing in chants for Daniel Bryan, CM Punk, RVD, Brock Lesnar and 'Y2J'. Mid-way through the match things had become so bad that the order was given to acknowledge the hostile crowd, although it was stated to be an unusual situation as opposed to the norm. WWE were adamant the Rumble winner remain a face.

The entire match was a transparent attempt to try and make Batista appear sympathetic. That aside it wasn't a bad showing. Yes it was basic. Yes the fans were more entertaining than the wrestling. Yes Batista's victory was terribly predictable. But the bout could have been far worse. That said I think WWE really need to listen to their audiences and turn Batista heel.

The expert panel were asked for their opinions on the Elimination Chamber match. Miz selected Bryan as the winner while Mark Henry went with Sheamus and Mysterio backed Cesaro. I mention this for completion rather than for interest. Because it's not interesting.

My prediction regarding Brock Lesnar attacking someone (specifically Christian) and nabbing their Chamber pod turned out to be incorrect. It would have been nice to see 'The Pain' involved but considering the quality of the match we got I'm not too unhappy it didn’t happen.

I’d expected Cesaro and Bryan to start the match. I was half right. 'The Swiss Superman' began with Sheamus. They hammered one another with uppercuts and closed fists and tumbled around on the steel structure for good measure. It was a good opening exchange that kept the crowd interested without involving anyone too important. Bryan was the third man into the match, immediately nailing both opponents with a top rope drop kick and then laying in some stiff kicks. Seconds later he trapped Shaymo in an Indian death lock and performed a northern lights suplex on Cesaro, a nice spot. On the outside Cesaro sent Bryan sailing through the "bulletproof" glass of an empty pod. That would become a theme.

After that things quietened down until entrant number four was added. 'Captain Charisma' started off targeting D-Bry's shoulder. Moments later he took out Sheamus with an inverse DDT on the steel grating and then got power bombed into an empty pod and uppercutted back into the ring by Cesaro.

Entrant five was Cena. He AAed Christian onto Cesaro before taking a top rope hurricanrana from Bryan. Before Bryan could connect with his big kick Christian snuck in with an Unprettier (no, I won’t call it the Killswitch). A sequence of finishers, signature moves and near falls followed, including a Swiss Death uppercut, Christians tornado DDT and Shaymo's White Noise. When the klaxon sounded to signify Orton was entering everyone was down. He started off with stomps but quickly broke out a pose when he started drowning in boos. That this is all Orton can think to do when he’s receiving such strong heat is incredibly disappointing. Anyway, the posing gave everyone time to recover and corner the champ, which sent him scurrying back into his pod.

That didn't work out well for him: in one of the highlights of the match Sheamus nailed him with a brogue kick through the pod. Back in the ring Orton was subjected to Cesaro's Big Swing. Moments later he was back on his feet to play a part in the first elimination, performing a superplex on Sheamus, which was followed up by a splash from atop a pod from Christian. That would be the only elimination 'The Instant Classic' would make though: he almost immediately fell victim to Bryan's running knee.

Cena and Bryan traded punches before Cena scooped Bryan up for an AA, only to be scooped up himself, still clutching Bryan, for a Cesaro German suplex. Cena countered a gut wrench into a hurricanrana, AAed 'The Real American' onto the steel and then made him tap to the STF. Cesaro looked incredibly strong in defeat. Not only did it take three major moves to put him down but it was the company’s top star that pinned him.

WrestleMania preview?

Cena wasn't done with his trusty STF. He slapped it onto 'The Viper' less than fifteen seconds later. That application would prove less fruitful. The lights were cut before The Wyatt Family appeared in the ring. They took out Bryan and then triple teamed Cena, ending with a Sister Abigail. That allowed Orton to eliminate Cena and left him alone with Bryan.

Kane went to ringside to order the Wyatts to the back and then entered the cage, to help remove the slumped Cena, where he absorbed a flying knee from Bryan. 'The Dazzler' and 'The Apex Predator' traded the upper hand for a minute or two before Bryan escaped an RKO attempt and dropped Orton with the running knee. The referee's count was broken up by Kane. He got a roundhouse kick for his behaviour, which allowed Orton to connect with an RKO for a believable false finish. Bryan came back with a small package and another kick but then got smacked by 'The Big Red Machine' and dropped with a second, match-winning, RKO.

As Orton left with his belts Cole confirmed that Batista v Orton will headline WrestleMania for the championship. They are the two most hated men on the roster. If WWE goes through with that and doesn't involve Bryan they deserve all the negative and abusive chants they get during that match.

The booking the show seems to indicate that Daniel Bryan will clash with company COO Triple H at WrestleMania XXX. This doesn’t necessarily preclude him from the WWE championship match he deserves to be a part of. He could be booked in the match opposite ‘The Game’ with a stipulation that he’ll be placed into the evening’s main event if he wins. A big name wrestling twice at WrestleMania may seem odd but it’s not unprecedented (WrestleMania X) and it would fit with Bryan being the man who wrestles two or three times on practically every other episode of RAW.

The last thing WWE management should be doing is sticking to their guns and planning Orton v Batista in a singles match. That is not best for business.

Elimination Chamber 2014 preview

Yes, this year’s Elimination Chamber poster does depict Stephanie McMahon pulling a puppet master pose and hovering over the Elimination Chamber structure. Don’t read too much into it. It could play into the last few months of storylines that have shown The Authority playing favourites and holding people down. But it won’t. It’s just the latest in a long line of WWE posters that bare little connection to the card they’re promoting.

While I don’t think EC will achieve the storyline potential that its poster (admittedly only very slightly) hints at I do think it will be a worthwhile show. It’s the last event the company will hold before the launch of the WWE Network so they’ll be feeling the pressure to make it a good one to encourage more subscriptions. It’s also the last pay-per-view¹ the company will produce before WrestleMania XXX. I’m sure the following evening’s RAW is going to be more eventful than the Chamber event but we can expect at least some of the big things occurring on Monday night to be set up on Sunday.

The card itself is a mixture of good and bad. The Elimination Chamber and six man tag matches will both be highlights while I think it’s safe to assume Big E’s first title defence of 2014 and the bout between former teammates Darren Young and Titus O’Neil will be forgettable. Cards like this are what happens when companies don’t concentrate enough on creating stars that people can’t care about.

The evening will kick off with former tag team champions Cody Rhodes and Goldust facing RybAxel on the pre-show. It should be fun. The Rhodes bros are one of WWE’s most popular acts and never seem to have a bad match. While Curtis Axel and The Ryback are no strangers to less than great matches they are at least proficient. More promisingly ‘The Big Guy’ has recently been hilarious with his high school jock-inspired tweets, YouTube antics, and keyboard-mashing entrance taunts. His gimmick is basically that he’s trolling internet wrestling fans and it’s great. But as great as it is I don’t think it will help him and his partner win. Cody and Goldy are the men I expect to go over.

Perhaps the most interesting thing is whether or not the brothers will split to set up a singles match between them at WrestleMania. That’s a match both men have wanted to have for years and now would be the logical time to do it, what with them being affiliated on-screen and all. I’ve said before that I hope they don’t go their separate ways. I’d be much more interested in seeing them wrestle together as a team at WrestleMania than against each other. A three-way tag title match involving the Rhodes boys, the Usos and the New Age Outlaws would be nice. I’m going to hope for that.

Titus O’Neil v Darren Young does nothing for me. I’m only interested in the two as a team. That they’ve been split strikes me as a massive waste. The roster’s clogged up with singles guys doing nothing. It’s going to be very hard for either of them to connect with audiences in a meaningful way. As the aggressor in the split and the bigger of the two I think ‘The Big Deal’ has been selected as the one to get moved up the card, so I’ll go with him to win.

I am similarly disinterested in Big E v Jack Swagger. Neither man excites me with either their wrestling style or character. In fact the most interesting thing that’s happened to either lately is the loss of a surname. It feels safe to assume that the former Langston will retain his IC gold. A lengthy title reign with the restored number two title is probably something that those in charge think will get him over. In and of itself it won’t. But if he’s given some worthwhile feuds and defences that mean something then Big E might be able to move up in people’s estimations and restore some cred to the strap.

The New Age Outlaws’ title defence against the Jimmy and Jey Uso is neither good nor bad. It merely is. The Usos are a team that WWE have kept in a position of minor prominence for a year or two now. They’ve never had the big push but they’ve been kept chugging along with outings against everyone form the Rhodes brothers to The Shield. Whenever something’s come up for a less important tag team to do it’s them that have been given it. I remain convinced they’ll never be a huge act but WWE are at least taking the right approach with them, taking things slow and letting the crowd accept them in their own time. They should do that with more of their wrestlers.

On the other hand the Outlaws are a nostalgia act. They’re not going to have the titles for long. They’re not going to stay on our screens for long either. They’re two guys getting one last run of relevance. With that in mind it’s possible their sixth championship reign will end with this match. I’m leaning towards it lasting six more weeks though. As I mentioned above, a triple threat pitting Road Dogg and Billy Gun and Cody and Goldy and Jey and Jimmy would be a nice ‘Mania bout. It would be ideal for the pre-show.

Speaking of teams Elimination Chamber will play host to a six man tag match WWE have masterfully held off: The Shield versus The Wyatt Family. Both units have been kept strong by winning more six man tag matches than they’ve lost, by being used consistently instead of having their pushes halted for backstage faux pas or decreases in interest, and by interacting with names further up the card. It’s been a great example of building new acts, welcome proof that WWE can still succeed at that task if they decide they want to.

Because of how well the teams have been built up and because they’re both trios it’s always been a natural match for WWE to book. By not rushing into it and allowing the teams to establish themselves separately the match means more than it would otherwise. They’ve also sensibly held off until one of the units is near the end of its life. ‘The Hounds of Justice’ will either face one another at WrestleMania or split and face off shortly afterwards. A match with the Wyatts is the last, obvious, box for them to tick before they take off the riot gear and do their own things.

I find it hard to imagine The Shield winning this match. They’ve been shown bickering amongst themselves and Roman Reigns is increasingly looking like he’s ready to step away from the gang and be his own man. Meanwhile the Wyatts are a united force.

A Wyatt win makes sense. It keeps the act that’s staying together looking stronger and gives Bray Wyatt another win over an over act. That’s important if he’s to be taken seriously as a foe for John Cena, which seems to be what’s planned for him. A Shield loss makes just as much sense. It creates another reason for the three members to have issues with one another.

I’ll be interested to see how this match is laid out. Reigns is set up for a face turn and Rollins and Ambrose are both smaller than all three members of The Wyatt Family so The Shield playing face makes sense. More flattering booking for Reigns wouldn’t be surprising. Neither would Ambrose attempting to upstage his teammates. It seems pretty clear he’s going to be the central antagonist of the three when they split, while Rollins could go either way².  

Batista v Alberto Del Rio is, more than anything else, a necessary evil. As the Royal Rumble winner and the man who will wrestle for the WWE championship at WrestleMania Batista needs to have a presence on this show. A promo wasn’t going to cut it. He’s been talking for weeks. This show needed to have him wrestle.

If kept short this match could be fine. That would allow ‘The Animal’ to run through a sequence of power moves before the crowd has a chance to become bored and really get into heckling him. As it is they’ll do that anyway, but the longer he’s out there the worse it’ll get. A short length would also help with the quality. Batista has only ever worked satisfying lengthy matches with men of a very high level. As much as I like ADR he’s not of that level, partially because his character has not been permitted to progress that far. The WWE faithful simply aren’t conditioned to expect twenty minute PPV matches from ‘The Essence of Excellence’.

On top of that Batista has been getting blown up performing entranceway taunts. That’s another reason I think this match would benefit from a slender run time.

The result seems the most predictable thing on the card. There’s just no logic in Batista losing: he’s going to wrestle for the company’s top prize at their biggest show while ADR isn’t even guaranteed a match on the show. As flat as his return’s been WWE have invested a lot of money in it and made plans centring on the former Evolution man. They’re not going to have him lose on this show.

We’ll find out who Batista will be facing in the Elimination Chamber match. Randy Orton, John Cena, Sheamus, Christian, ‘Don’t Call Him Antonio’ Cesaro and Daniel Bryan will compete for the WWE championship. That’s the announced match at least. With this show being held in Brock Lesnar’s billed from town of Minneapolis I’m expecting him to be added to the match. Christian and Cesaro could be attacked early in the show or on their way to the ring and have their spot taken by ‘The Pain’. It’s something WWE’s done before and it would add star power to an already strong Chamber line-up. ‘The Man of the Peeps’ would be my preferred choice to receive that beating: I don’t need to see him in the Chamber while I think Cesaro could benefit from the spot.

There are a lot of things that could happen in this match. Cena is expected to become linked to the Wyatts, so they could interfere. Bryan has had a half-hearted, short-lived programme with Kane over the last couple of weeks, so he could interfere. Triple H could interfere to cost D-Bry the match, setting up a match between them for WrestleMania. There’s even a slender chance Undertaker could appear in order to kick off his ‘Mania feud, something that I think will be likelier if Lesnar’s involved than not.

If you’ve never seen an Elimination Chamber match before, or if you have a very short memory, you may be wondering how this interference could happen. Well, in 2010 Shawn Michaels popped into the Chamber by removing hiding under the ring and removing one of the metal grates. And, y’know, the cage door opens when people are eliminated, someone could easily run in then. For ‘The Phenom’ I’d particularly enjoy the lights out-lights back on trick. I won’t expect it though.

There are two men I think have a real chance of leaving this match with the WWE championship. The first is Randy Orton. The second is Daniel Bryan. The original plan for WrestleMania seems to have been ‘The Viper’ defending the title against Batista. Due to Batista not being as popular as WWE believed and the ascension of Daniel Bryan I think there’s a good chance that plan has been altered to either a triple threat involving Bryan or a singles match between Bryan and Batista.

The three-way seems likeliest and that could be set up with either Bryan or Orton leaving as champion. Bryan could request a chance to be entered into that match and be given the chance to do so in a match (pitting him against Batista would be a nice idea, but not something I’d expect from the overly protective WWE). If Orty lost the title he could add himself to the WM30 main event via a rematch clause (although the way WWE books him I wouldn’t be surprised if he had to earn his way in too, even though he’s a conniving, cowardly heel). Either Bryan or Orton could go into that match as champion but I’d like to think WWE would do the sensible thing and have ‘The Apex Predator’ enter as champion. That would allow Bryan that feel good win on the company’s largest stage, getting the best crowd reaction of the entire show.

I can see WWE taking the stupider three-way route. That would see Bryan winning the championship at EC14 and losing it to Batista at WrestleMania. The justification for this would be that it gets the Bryan title win everyone wants but would also allow the original plan of a Batista title win to go ahead. It would, of course, be a bad move, because it would see the promotion’s hottest star losing the championship everyone wants him to have at the biggest show of the year. That result would get booed out of the building, even if it was designed to set up Bryan regaining the gold a month later in his home state.

Predicting an Orton win also covers me in case none of the above is applicable and WWE are arrogantly sticking to their guns and going ahead with a Batista versus Orton singles match. It would be a completely stupid decision to do that match but don’t put it passed them. Whatever the plan for the future I think the Chamber will come down to Bryan and Orton.

There are alternatives of course. As I’ve said before John Cena can never be ruled out in title matches. With so much uncertainty going on around who’s over and who’s not it would be easy for WWE to fall back on their tried and tested top guy. Yes he’d get booed at WrestleMania, but they’re used to that and Cena copes with it better than anyone else. He’d be a safe bet and could wrestle Batista, Orton, Bryan or any combination of the three at ‘Mania in a satisfactory match.

There’s also the potential for Lesnar to win (if he ends up entering that is). Lesnar v Batista would be a fresh match and one I imagine WWE have always wanted to promote. If they were prepared to have Batista lose his guaranteed title match (which they would be) then Lesnar v Orton and Lesnar v Bryan would also be fresh. The latter would also have benefit from having a very interesting dynamic and probably being the best thing on the show.

While Elimination Chamber doesn’t have an announced card that will go down as one of the greatest of all time it does at least promise to be interesting. The uncertainty around the main event is what will make or break this show. I’m as confident as I can be that WWE will do the right thing for the success of their bigger show. And that’s having Bryan lose to set him up for a win later.

Predictions summary:

Randy Orton to retain the WWE championship
The Wyatt Family to defeat The Shield
Batista to defeat Alberto Del Rio
The New Age Outlaws to defeat the Usos
Cody Rhodes and Goldust to defeat RybAxel
Titus O’Neil to defeat Darren Young
Big E to defeat Jack Swagger

***

¹ What are we going to call them when they’re on the Network? Supershows? Somehow that doesn’t feel very WWE.

² And I don’t mean that in a fanfic way, obvs.