No Mercy 2002 review

WWE recently announced Brock Lesnar's Go to Hell tour, a month of Network-related content centred around 'The Beast' himself. It culminate with a Lesnar versus Undertaker Hell in a Cell match. Having watched WWE for a while my first thought when this was announced was that it's a repeat of the No Mercy 2002 main event, which saw Bikertaker face 'The Next Big Thing' inside the Cell. I thought I'd give that show a watch in preparation for their rematch almost exactly thirteen years later. Here's what I thought...

Intro

Tweet 1: 'Taker versus Lesnar in Hell in a Cell has me so hyped that I'm going to watch No Mercy 2002, the show that featured their first HIAC match.

Tweet 2: Such a powerful opening shot. No better way to start a pay-per-view...

Tweet 3: I know nothing about this show other than it has Undertaker v Lesnar in a HIAC match...
Tweet 4: The intro vid is clearing some things up. Triple H v Kane is happening. It's World title v IC title. And it's the Katie Vick feud.
Tweet 5: Also, Heyman just said HIAC is Taker's signature. You're forgetting the dreaded casket match there, Paul mate.

World tag team championship: Chris Jericho and Christian (c) v Booker T and Goldust

Tweet 6: Opener features Chris Jericho. Seems to be heel Jericho. Timeline feels right for him to tagging with Christian.

Tweet 7: Yeah, nailed it. Christian will save this opener for me.
Tweet 8: Prime Christian.

Tweet 9: This show is thirteen years old and features JR knocking Fozzy.
Tweet 10: The Canadian Lads v Bookdust. Jericho aside this should be good.
Tweet 11: Trying to figure out if Jericho was still good at this point. The crowd are giving him some mad heat. That indicates he was.
Tweet 12: They're crazy into the main man, future royalty Booker T too. Little Rock, Arkansas knows what's up.
Tweet 13: Weird period for Jerry Lawler this. He's still pro-heel but he's happy when faces do their big spots.
Tweet 14: He seems keen to see a Spinneroonie here, for example.
Tweet 15: I miss Shattered Dreams. Possibly the best low blow with theatrics in the entire history of the grapple game.
Tweet 16: "A Spinneroonie, razorback style!" - Jim Ross, prompting a strong you wot, mate?
Tweet 17: Jericho won off a top rope moonsault. You know, the top rope moonsault he was always doing.

Funaki interviews Al Wilson backstage

Tweet 18: YES.

Tweet 19: Getting a recap of Al Wilson's relationship with Dawn Marie. I've stumbled into one of WWE's hottest post-Attitude Era periods.
Tweet 20: This is what wrestling's all about, folks.

Tweet 21: "Why were you wearing your clothes in the shower?" - Funaki to Al Wilson

Dawn Marie v Torrie Wilson

Tweet 22:  Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson are about to do a wrestle. Michael Cole and The Tazz are on commentary. This show just got rough.

Tweet 23: SmackDown was considered the work rate brand at this point wasn't it...?
Tweet 24: "We want puppies!" - The crowd within seconds of this match beginning
Tweet 25: Tazz and Cole analysing the win-loss record of these two against one another in lingerie matches.
Tweet 26: Spot where Dawn and Torrie roll about with the referee there. Dawn had a go at him because she's a heel.
Tweet 27: Face women of this era were fine being felt up apparently.
Tweet 28: Torrie winning off a swinging neck breaker because why not?

Jonathan Coachman interviews Rob Van Dam backstage

Tweet 29: Great chinos on Coach here. Meanwhile RVD sets himself up as a man of the people and parodies Ric Flair. It's poor.

Tweet 30: Not hyped for Flair v Van Dam.
Tweet 31: Who's this Tracey lass? JR says she's a Jezebel. Jerry thinks she's hot. Has she made accusations against 'Mean' Mark? No memory of this.

Ric Flair v Rob Van Dam

Tweet 32: "He is Ric Flair" - Jerry Lawler on Ric Flair

Tweet 33: The opening minute has been far better than I expected tbf.
Tweet 34: Lol at JR saying Flair may have won thousands of matches with the figure four.
Tweet 35: Rob Van Dam can't sell a figure four. Who knew?
Tweet 36: Quite enjoying this match and I'm going to credit that to 'Naitch' because I dislike more of RVD's work than I like outside of ECW.

Big Show chats to Stephanie McMahon backstage until Eric Bischoff turns up and says he owns him

Tweet 37: WE-ELLLLLLLLL it's a Big Show backstage segment. Top notch stuff.

Tweet 38: Yet another highlight here: the Bischoff and Stephanie feuding GMs thing.
Tweet 39: "I'm a giant!" - Big Show
Tweet 40: Show angry that he's not been on PPV since July. He was overweight and lazy. I'm with Bisch on this. Good call, buddy. Keep him off shows.
Tweet 41: Everyone's favourite IC title memory.

Cruiserweight championship match: Jamie Noble (c) v Yoshiro Tajiri

Tweet 42: Tajiri in a cruiserweight title match? I'm down.

Tweet 43: YES.

Tweet 44: Just noticed Brian Hebner is refereeing this match. I'm not going to let it get to me.
Tweet 45: First mention of women being tomatoes from Tazz there.
Tweet 46: Tazz putting over Tajiri and saying he's been in the ring with him. Failing to mention he wasn't happy facing or selling for him.
Tweet 47: Sickened by Michael Cole not talking about educated feet when Tajiri started doing some kicks.
Tweet 48: Nidia's not doing much here. Pretty much sums up her run. I always thought she was good and deserved more than she got. #justsaying
Tweet 49: Nidia helps Noble win. Tajiri forces himself on her to even the score. She smiles about it. This booking though...

Los Guerreros, Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] backstage

Tweet 50: Awks backstage segment.

World Heavyweight championship v Intercontinental championship unification: Triple H (WHC) v Kane (IC)

Tweet 51: Kane being pushed as a top guy by embracing being a "freak". My word.

Tweet 52: Clean shaven Triple H accusing 'The Big Red Machine' of murdering sweet, innocent Katie Vick, the purest girl in all of rasslin'.
Tweet 53: I remember hating this match at the time it happened.
Tweet 54: Jerry Lawler trying to flesh out the Katie Vick story is just ridiculous. Who, other than Vince, thought this story was a good idea?
Tweet 55: Let the record show Kane is wearing his sexy semi-see-through ring gear here.
Tweet 56: Lawler cracking jokes about a kayfabe dead woman. Whadda pro.
Tweet 57: This match would be so much more enjoyable if it featured time-travelled-from-the-future Corporate Kane. In a vest.
Tweet 58: I'd be interested in knowing who thought Triple H v Kane would interest people in 2002.
Tweet 59: Plus side: this is the best period of Triple H's career as far as his hair is concerned.
Tweet 60: Hahahahaha run-in by The Hurricane hahahahaha.
Tweet 61: "Triple H is still alive" - Jerry Lawler, who I fully expected to follow up with "... unlike Katie Vick!"
Tweet 62: Imagine if another human being actually hit another human being in the head with a sledgehammer though.
Tweet 63: Lost count of the number of ref bumps in this match. Genuinely more than I remember from any Attitude Era main event.

Stephanie McMahon chats to Tracey in the office

Tweet 64: Another segment with this Tracey woman who I don't remember. She just called 'Mean' Mark a bastard. #strongwords

Tweet 65: Stephanie and Tracey having a heart-to-heart, just them and the cameras.
Tweet 66: Tracey confiding in Stephanie that she lied and wants 'Taker back. In front of cameras. Also Undertaker WAS STOOD IN THE ROOM.

Tag team championship tournament finals: Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] v Edge and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 67: Should be good.

Tweet 68: By good I mean I'm pretty sure it won some MOTY awards.
Tweet 69: "Kurt Angle in search of the one title that's eluded him" - Michael Cole as Angle entered for a match to crown the first ever champs
Tweet 70: Edge with his poor "Never gonna stop!" Zombie lad entrance music here.
Tweet 71: I'd already recommend this match on the strength of the opening sequence between Mysterio and Angle.
Tweet 72: You'd never get WWE putting some of their best workers and biggest stars in an extended tag feud now. It's a shame.
Tweet 73: This three-way feud shows how effective it can be. I'm sure the strength of his work here helped Edge get over.
Tweet 74: *Waits for Rey to tag in and blow his knee*
Tweet 75: Rey Mysterio doing Bronco Busters... *shakes head*
Tweet 76: 619 to [REDACTED] as he had the [REDACTED] Crossface on is such a great spot.
Tweet 77: That was a career highlight for all four lads. Obviously won't make it onto any compilations because of [REDACTED] but it deserves to.

Undertaker gets something injected into his hand

Tweet 78: What's 'Taker been up to...?

Women's championship: Trish Stratus (c) v Victoria

Tweet 79: Jerry Lawler talking about puppies, JR calling Victoria "chronically pre-menstrual", it could only be a WWE women's match from the early 00s.

Tweet 80: Disappointed Big Stevie Cool isn't paired up with Victoria at this point. That was an under-utilised act.
Tweet 81: Not exactly a classic that. But it was good. Could've done without Dawn v Torrie, splitting the time between this and the cruiser match.

Pre-Hell in a Cell chatter

Tweet 82:

Tweet 83: Pre-match video package establishing that Tracey was with Undertaker in 1995. He looked like this...

WWE championship Hell in a Cell: Undertaker v Brock Lesnar (c)

Tweet 84: The Hell in a Cell main is starting. Think I'm about to watch the best 'Taker-Lesnar HIAC match there will ever be.

Tweet 85: Mat wrestling and a cast plot line. This is how you start Hell in a Cell!
Tweet 86: I'm assuming this ends with Lesnar climbing to the roof and hitting a Shooting Star Press off the roof through a table.
Tweet 87: "The champion seeing his own blood. TASTING his own blood." Get a room, Cole.
Tweet 88: For the record I don't approve of pins or pin attempts outside of the ring in HIAC.
Tweet 89: I wish Tazz would refer to this as a big man extravaganza because that's EXACTLY what it is.
Tweet 90: Undertaker is wrestling in a bandana. I bet his Ministry of Darkness era self would be ashamed to learn of this.
Tweet 91: No Mercy: Battle for the Wank Rag.

Tweet 92: Lesnar and Heyman are both bleeding. If 'Taker doesn't blade it's ridiculous.
Tweet 93: Interesting note: Michael Cole is fully erect throughout this entire match.
Tweet 94: Undertaker versus Brock Lesnar in a Pub Car Park Disagreement match.

Tweet 95: Lol at 'Taker Hulking up here.
Tweet 96: Upset Tazz didn't refer to the choke slam as a goozle.
Tweet 97: This match should end with Brock taking a Tombstone then immediately kipping up to hit an F5.
Tweet 98: Pins on the floor are legal but rope breaks still count. What even are these rules?
Tweet 99: 'Dead Man Inc' fell to a single F5. What a weakling.
Tweet 100: I'll be amazed if they top that at Hell in a Cell.
Tweet 101:

Tweet 102: I liked that match and I liked that show. There was way more to it than I expected.

Shining Star

When Cody Rhodes transformed into Stardust last summer I thought it was a massive step backwards. It was a knock-off of the near enough two decade old Goldust character and a gimmick it was impossible to envisage WWE taking seriously. In other words it was exactly the sort of thing that was going to keep Cody tethered to the mid-card. He wasn't exactly on the cusp of main events before the change but he was even further away after it.

Cody made the best of a bad situation. Which is hardly surprising as the Stardust character was apparently his idea to begin with. He changed up his entrance and in-ring mannerisms, going out of his way to try and establish Stardust as a distinct entity. Even more impressively he switched up his move set, something WWE performers are generally not encouraged to do. These changes helped to establish Stardust and make the change easier to accept.

What a good-looking man.

It's only recently that the Stardust character has begun paying off for Rhodes and the writing team. It's been revealed that the change was part of a long term plan to play into the split of the Rhodes-cum-Dust brothers tandem. Stardust announced at Fast Lane that Cody is "dead", killed by his deadweight brother and unsupportive father. In a nice touch he referenced various stages of his career (being 'The Prince' and 'The Dashing One', being an Intercontinental champ, and being touted as the breakout star of The Legacy) and his former status as a hot prospect within WWE. As character development goes it was certainly attention grabbing.

Since the two (half) brothers officially split on the February 16 RAW further tweaks have been made to the Stardust character. He's been shown to be violent and unstable both in matches and backstage segments and moved from wearing a Goldust-esque bodysuit to full length tights (possibly because he wants to have those abs of his on display).

It seems likely that another Goldust versus Stardust is where this is all heading, although Stardust's recent interest in the Intercontinental title means it's unlikely to happen at WrestleMania. How that will play out is anybody's guess. The rumours that Goldy is ready to retire are as widespread as they've ever been so it seems reasonable to assume we'll see Goldust versus Stardust with a retirement stipulation for the former on the line. Given Stardust's recent sentiments we could see him challenge Goldust to face him with this stip and Goldust, wanting his brother back, agreeing on the proviso that if he can win the match the Stardust gimmick gets dropped.

That scenario would almost certainly play out with Goldust losing. It could be used to launch a big singles push for the Stardust character, unrepentant at having fractured his family and caused the retirement of his brother. Played right it could get him over big as a heel. Alternatively Stardust could win the match and, following a moment of clarity brought on by seeing how dejected 'The Bizarre One' was at the loss, ask for and receive reconciliation. That would allow Goldust to go out in the match he's apparently wanted for years and lead back to the reintroduction of the babyface Cody Rhodes character.

Knowing WWE we'll get a watered down version of one of these options. The Stardust saga so far has already been a departure from the writing team's usual unwillingness to commit to anything original, interesting, or forward thinking. It's too much to expect the story to reach its conclusion without the usual WWE disappointment seeping in.

WWE Fast Lane 2015 review

Thanks to the booking of its titular match Royal Rumble was not a good pay-per-view. TLC before it was worse. Outside of its main event Survivor Series had nothing to offer. You have to go back to October's Hell in a Cell to find a WWE pay-per-view with more than one match to offer. You have go all the way back to SummerSlam to find a WWE main roster show that was definitely above average. Fast Lane was the company's latest opportunity to change that.

They didn't. With Fast Lane WWE constructed a particularly drab show. Outside of the top two matches and a confrontation between part-timers there was little on offer. Writing was rushed so that matches had an excuse to happen and popular performers were thrust into slots on the show just to have them there. Outside of those top three attractions very little thought was put into Fast Lane, and it showed.

A below average video package started the show. Shots of speedometers and cars going fast were interspersed with shots of John Cena, Rusev, Bryan, Reigns, Triple H and Sting as a woman gave dictionary definitions of various journey-related words. It felt like the graphics from an Over the Limit show had been recycled with some relevant match footage. It was unusual, considering WWE's record with this sort of thing.

Dolph Ziggler's music and entrance got a huge pop from the crowd. That made me think they'd be a rowdy bunch who'd get into the show. I would be proved wrong again and again and again throughout the night. It wasn't the lack of reaction for Erick Rowan that tipped me off though. That was to be expected. Ryback did slightly better but he's not as over as he once was. He did get a "Feed me more!" chant going in the ring though.

Ziggler and Seth Rollins started the match with a good sequence. Things got worse once Dolph tagged out to Rowan. They got worse still when Rollins tagged out to Kane. Rowan was isolated and the match chugged along until Ryback tagged in for the first time. He had a surprisingly popular exchange with Rollins which ended with Rollins taking a Shellshock only for 'The Big Guy' to be immediately splashed by Show, stopping him from going for a cover.

Ziggler tagged back in to loud cheers and was almost immediately made to look like a complete loser as he was outsmarted by the big lads. Kane held him for a Big Show KO punch. That was enough to put Ziggler down for three. The move itself isn't the problem: it's a move that's been built up nicely. But it was still depressing that it was Ziggler, rather than the disposable Rowan, who was booked to take the loss for his team. For that matter it was depressing that outside of their opening tussle Rollins and Ziggler didn't really interact. They could have saved this match and turned it into a hot opener had they been allowed.  

He hit RKOs... outta nowhere!

After the match the heels ganged up on the faces as the audience chanted for Randy Orton (which again made me think they'd be reliable for the entire show). They weren't disappointed. 'The Viper's' music hit the speakers and he ran (yes, Orton actually ran) to the ring. In his trunks, natch. J&J and Kane all took RKOs. Rollins tried to sneak into the ring and lamp Orton with his Money in the Bank briefcase but got caught with a kick. Orton signalled for the draping DDT but Show yanked Rollins to safety. 'The Future' then ran off through the crowd as Orty posed in the ring. 

After a video recapping the truncated breakdown of the Goldust and Stardust team Goldust was shown backstage with Dusty Rhodes. Goldy said he wasn't facing Cody, he was facing Stardust and that he needed to beat him so badly that the thought of putting on face paint and a costume again would sicken him. They did a good job making the match mean something but it was a little misleading.

The exchange made it seem that we'd be getting a wild fight between the brothers. They had a perfectly good match but it didn't really feel like the brawl the promo, or the nature of their feud, had told us it would be. It was more about counter wrestling than fighting. The crowd's lack of interest didn't help matters. Goldust won off a roll-up after reversing out of the Director's Cut. Goldy offered a handshake after the match. Stardust just walked off.

After a lengthy recap of the "feud" between Seth Rollins and Jon Stewart, which was designed to "prove" that WWE is relevant to mainstream personalities just as much as it was to play into anything that may happen between the two we were treated to a Rhodes family meeting backstage. Goldust apologised to Dusty, even though all he'd done was wrestle Stardust, before Stardust showed up to attack him. Then he shouted that about being the breakout star of the dynasty lumbered with an albatross of a brother and informed Dusty that he was responsible for the death of Cody. It could go somewhere really interesting but knowing WWE it probably won't.

The Usos versus the Brass Ring Club came next. They would provide the show with its second best match. Jimmy was worked over for the first third of the match with Cesaro and Kidd targeting his leg. This included an impressive one legged big swing from Cesaro. He would tag out after managing to send Kidd to the outside of the ring, kicking off a pacey sequence between all four.

The Brass Ring Club would perform a nice double team with Cesaro deadlifting Jey from the apron for a second rope suplex and Kidd following up with a springboard elbow. There was a frenetic exchange on the apron of the hard camera side of the ring which culminated with Jimmy blocking a Kidd kick and pulling him down, catching him on his shoulders and Samoan dropping him into the barricade.

"Hey, look how shiny my belt is, Tyson!"

Back in the ring Jimmy splashed Kidd but was immediately rolled up for a two count. He kicked out but found himself trapped in a Sharpshooter moments later. Jey broke that up and then got huled out of the ring by Cesaro. Jimmy super kicked 'The Swiss Superman' off the apron and then turned around into a fisherman's neck breaker from Kidd. That was enough to get the win and titles for the Brass Ring Club. The crowd were particularly annoying here. The four guys deserved a lot bbetter for the performance they put on.

Before the Sting and Triple H face-to-face confrontation that followed Michael Cole said it had been the "fantasy" of every "sports entertainment fan" to see Sting in a WWE ring. This is not true. I know many people who agree with me that  'The Stinger' holds little to no appeal, especially fourteen years after WCW went out of business. In fairness they can't really acknowledge any disinterest even if they'd be willing to admit it's there. And there are people who, for some reason, do want to see Sting wrestle for WWE.

King of Kings hit and Triple H walked out. Because he was doing wrestler business, as opposed to Authority-running-the-show business, 'The Game' was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. The only thing missing was his Attitude Era backwards leather paddy cap. After apologising for pushing down Ric Flair on RAW and referring to himself as 'The Heartbeat of WWE' (that'll be on a T-shirt soon) he called out Sting.

When he answered 'The Game's' call Sting got cheers but not as many as you'd expect. Yes, even the mighty Sting could not make the audience emote. Although one guy tried his hardest to get a(n awkward) "WCW!" chant going. Trips talked about how his legacy was ending Sting's legacy and suggested that Sting's motivation at Survivor Series had been to take the McMahons out of WWE because he knew that would put an end to the company. That second point was especially nice. It was true to the a Triple H character's ego but was also a plausible reason for 'The Vigilante's' actions.

Tripper tried to seduce Sting with action figures and DVDs and a Hall of Fame induction. When Sting didn't react Trips said they could fight and Sting would be erased from history. That should be a gimmick in WWE: someone who beats people so hard they are erased from history.

When it became clear Sting wasn't going to be bought off Triple H tried to cheap shot him. Sting fought him off until 'The Cerebral Assassin' smacked him with a microphone then lugged his sledgehammer from beneath the ring. When he returned to cave in Sting's head it was revealed Sting had brought his trusty baseball bat. He backed Trips into a corner, forced him to drop the hammer, and then pointed at the WrestleMania sign a few times. When he went to leave H3 tried to attack him again. He was hit with the bat and given a Scorpion Death Drop. As he left the commentary team marked out for Sting like it was 1997.

Obligatory Nikki Bella pic.

Following a recap of Heyman saying Lesnar would beat whoever's put against him at WrestleMania we got Paige challenging Nikki Bella for the Divas championship. By WWE Divas standards it was a very good effort. Nikki put on a crisp performance and Paige was as good as she usually is. Nikki would retain with a roll-up and a Handful of Tights™. The champ's facial expressions weren't all they could have been but they weren't awful. If WWE invested more time into other female characters Nikki could make a good lead heel for the division.

Then... breaking news! Triple H had accepted Sting's challenge for a match at WrestleMania! The commentary gang again marked out. Lawler went so far as to say he never thought he'd see the match happen. That conjured up a nice image of Lawler sitting at home pining for a Triple H and Sting match, shaking his head wistfully and telling himself it would never happen.

Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett's Intercontinental championship match was next. Despite the large number of signature moves between the two the crowd once again failed to get excited for the majority of the match. It was another case of Ambrose and Bad News deserving more. They put on a solid match although they were lumbered with a poor finish. Ambrose was disqualified as he  stomped Barrett in the corner. Then he gave him Dirty Deeds and left with the title belt. It was saddening that this was put out on pay-per-view. It was a TV ending, and a shoddy one at that.

The number of glances at the WrestleMania sign on this show was ridiculous.

The audience did show interest when a flock of druids walked out, accompanied by some blue lighting, a gong, and The Undertaker's music. When a casket was wheeled down to the ring it was obvious we were supposed to believe 'Taker would be inside. He was not. It was Bray Wyatt. He told us he'd once feared Undertaker but that he doesn't anymore because 'The Dead Man' has become mortal. Then he challenged him to a match at WrestleMania. It was an effective use of Wyatt and a nice bit of variety for the show. Seeing Wyatt steal more Undertaker tropes in the build towards WrestleMania would be great. It would be something different and allow WWE to make use of the character's twenty-five year history.

Rusev v Cena took the semi-main event spot. Rusev's entrance got a fair bit of heat. Cena brought the crowd to their feet with his, and even though he would be facing one of the most heelish characters in WWE (for daring to be from somewhere that isn't America) there were still audible cries of "John Cena sucks!" during his sprint to the ring and the usual duelling chants at the beginning of the match. From this point on the audience would be noticeably louder.

Cena smacked Rusev with a right hand seconds into the match and slapped on a headlock. 'The Bulgarian Brute' fought out of that quickly and controlled the pace for the next several minutes. Cena tried fighting back multiple times but was continually shut down. Eventually he managed to give Rusev a suplex and a clothesline. Rusev kicked out on two, slipped out of an AA attempt and DDTed Cena. Then he went back to wearing his foe down.

Cena fired up again a minute or two later, cracking off some shoulder tackles and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He tried the AAagain. Rusev escaped again. Seconds later he would escape the STF, only to be floored with a fallaway slam. Rusev attempted a standing sidewalk slam only to find it countered into a crossface (which Cole referred to as an STF). Rusev sold for a few moments before breaking the hold, leaping to his feet, and hitting Cena with an Alabama slam. If he could hit the move that well consistently it should become a regular part of his repertoire.

Cena would kick out but he was too worn down to return to his feet. 'The Super Athlete' dropped some elbows on Cena's back before going for the Accolade. Cena grabbed Rusev's foot and pulled him down to the mat and into the STF. Rusev would escape the hold, this time by grabbing the ropes as opposed to his Russian Power.

The rematch will be for Rusev's gold star.

Back on their feet Rusev escaped the AA for a third time and gave Cena a couple of kicks. Cena would finally grab him and connect with the AA seconds later, Rusev kicking out just after the two count. Cena decided his best course of action was to jump off the top rope. That was a mistake (obviously). Rusev caught him in a power bomb and trapped him in the Accolade. After two failed attempts at breaking the hold Cena muscled his way to his feet with Rusev on his back. Lana distracted the referee as Rusev gave Cena a low blow. Cena was kicked in the face and put in the Accolade as Lana left the ring. The match would be ruled in Rusev's favour due to Cena being unconscious. It was announced as a submission win for some reason.

It was a better match than I'd expected. It had a better ending too. Rusev's win could have been far more tainted. Most important was the result. Cena lost just as he needed to. He may win a rematch, but it will be easier to stomach with Rusev having gained the first victory.

That left only the number one contender match between Daniel Bryan and Royal Rumble winner Roman Reigns. The first half of the match was dedicated to the story of Reigns' strength against Bryan's speed, experience and strikes. There were several moments designed to make it clear that Reigns was keeping up with his more experienced foe though, most of them seeing him escape from submission holds and cutting off signature moves. They traded the advantage back and forth throughout the match, keeping viewers guessing as to the result by not having one man gain a clear advantage. It was a good call, and it ensured neither man looked weak too.

The final five minutes were where the bout really came together. Bryan turned a Reigns spear into small package. Reigns kicked out and got hit with Bryan's running knee, which he kicked out of. Michael Cole was incredibly quick to point out that Reigns was the first wrestler to ever kick out of that move.

Reigns is big on "shocked eyes" selling.

D-Bry leathered Reigns with kicks. Reigns grabbed hold of his leg and got to his feet. Bryan slapped him and then pulled him down to the mat in the Yes Lock. Reigns broke out of the hold and pummelled Bryan with big fists to the sound of boos. When he made the mistake of pausing Bryan slapped on the Gogoplata. Reigns broke that by lifting him up and power bombing him.

After a quick breather they both sat up and exchanged strikes on as they lay on the mat, Bryan kicking and Reigns punching. 'The People's Elixir' would get the better of that and smash a dazed Reigns with a roundhouse kick. He went for the running knee again but Reigns surprised him with a spear as he charged in. That proved to be enough to put D-Bry down for three. A Superman punch would have looked far more impressive but WWE seem intent on having the pear be Reigns' thing.

After the match Bryan told Reigns he'd better kick Lesnar's ass before offering a handshake. Reigns nodded and accepted the shake. The show went off the air with the commentary team talking up the confirmed WrestleMania main event of Roman Reigns versus Brock Lesnar, the Sting v Triple H match, and Bray Wyatt's challenge to The Undertaker.

While Fast Lane accomplished everything it set out to with its top two matches and the Sting-Trips segment it failed too often elsewhere. All the matches had stories going into them and reasons for happening but the only one that didn't feel rushed was the one for the tag title match. The Rhodes brothers had only separated six days before the show. The stories for the Divas and IC matches were both basic. For a show to be worthwhile it not only need to make its main attractions worthwhile, it needs to have a solid undercard that plays out logically and has a reason to exist. Fast Lane had the reason but it was missing the logic. Let's hope this happened because WWE were fixated on their bigger, more important annual show next month, and not because the writing has dipped even further in quality.

***

Results summary:

Seth Rollins, Big Show and Kane defeated Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback
Goldust defeated Stardust
The Brass Ring Club defeated the Usos to win the tag team championship
Nikki Bella defeated Paige to retain the Divas championship
Bad News Barrett defeated Dean Ambrose via disqualification to retain the Intercontinental championship
Rusev defeated John Cena to retain the United States championship
Roman Reigns defeated Daniel Bryan to retain his WrestleMania title shot

WWE Fast Lane 2015 preview

Over the last month there's been a lot of talk about Roman Reigns' controversial victory in the Royal Rumble match. It's been a bit confusing, mostly because Reigns won the Rumble completely fairly. He eliminated Big Show and Kane, they came back into the match illegally and The Rock showed up to help Reigns take care of them. Rusev, Reigns' fellow finalist, returned to the ring after 'The Brahma Bull' had stepped out and was thrown out by Reigns and Reigns alone. The only controversy was how poorly it was all laid out, not the nature in which Reigns won.

WWE's idea of something being controversial (in this instance at least) is that fan favourite Daniel Bryan didn't win. Again that falls under poor booking as opposed to legitimate controversy. But WWE have described it in this way in an effort to disguise the fact that Reigns' win got an even more negative than they'd anticipated. The crowd booed because they wanted Bryan in the closing stage and weren't keen on Reigns, yes. But they also booed because the way in which Reigns won was formulaic and boring.

But WWE saw a way out with the controversy line and they took it. It's irritating that they feel they can so blatantly lie but it has at least lead to a Reigns versus Bryan match which will surely be better than the originally planned Reigns versus Big Show match could ever have been.

In fact the most controversial storyline development since the Rumble has been The Authority's choice to pit Bryan and Seth Rollins against each other on the January 26 RAW. Rollins had been pinned by the WWE champion the night before. Bryan had been fairly ousted from the Royal Rumble by Bray Wyatt. If they were looking for men to compete for the right to beat Reigns for his title shot both Wyatt and Rusev would have been more deserving. 'The Eater of Worlds' lasted longer than anyone else in the Rumble, held the joint record for most eliminations in the match, and, as mentioned, threw out Bryan. Rusev was one of the other joint record holders (the third was Reigns) and was the final man eliminated. Both had done more to warrant a crack at 'The Big Dog' than Bryan and Rollins.

But it was Bryan and Rollins who got the shot and Bryan that won. Which brings us to Fast Lane, where Daniel Bryan will wrestle Roman Reigns for the right to go on to WrestleMania and challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE championship. There are a few reasons this match exists. Probably most important is that it gives people some hope that D-Bry will replace Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE world championship at WrestleMania 31. It also serves to quieten down the people who are still arguing that Bryan is more deserving of a title match than Reigns. Finally, it's there to guarantee Reigns a good match on his way to almost certainly dethroning 'The Beast' at WrestleMania.

Initially I didn't think Bryan had a prayer of winning this match. I expected it to be all about solidifying Reigns as a top guy. There's nothing wrong with that. He has his limitations but there are worse people that could be in Reigns' spot, and WWE's needed fresh faces towards the top of the card for years. The Reigns push is a step in the right direction.

But over the last few weeks, as Reigns has continued to receive mixed responses on TV and WWE have gone out of their way to keep D-Bry looking strong, I'm not sure. It's possible that the reason Bryan's being protected is so that Reigns defeating him means more but it could also be WWE hedging their bets. I don't think they'd go so far as to write Reigns out of the 'Mania main event but I do think there's a chance we could see a triple threat in which Lesnar defends against both D-Bry and 'The Juggernaut'.

That's going to be my prediction for the match: a draw or no contest of some sort which sets up a three-way. For the second year in a row it would give WWE the best of both worlds: their chosen headliner and the guy the fans clearly want to see there. If I had to pick one guy I'd go with Reigns though. I can't see any reason for WWE to have Bryan win and have Reigns exit the title picture.

One step down the bill in terms of importance we have the first ever John Cena versus Rusev match. At the start of the year I'd been expecting to write about this match in March. For some reason it's been brought forward from its natural home on WrestleMania to the B-level February show. I wrote about this match a few weeks ago and touched on the fact that it may have been moved forward to begin telling the story earlier or because something else is planned for Cena at 'Mania (read that here). The latter seems unlikely. I imagine there's been a decision made to make the February pay-per-view more worthy of people's time than it has been in the past. If so, good.

It's tough to predict a winner for this bout. Cena is very rarely an obvious loser. He isn't one here. Rusev would stand to gain a lot from a series of strong showings against and victories over Cena but the writing team's track record in the star elevation department has been less than spectacular over the last few years. A double disqualification of some sort is a possibility to set up a rematch at WrestleMania but I don't really want to predict that twice on one show, especially in the top two matches.

I'm going to be hopeful that they'll do the right thing and have Rusev beat Cena here and in all matches of this series so that someone else can benefit from that first win over 'The Bulgarian Brute'. It would be even more impressive to beat an undefeated Rusev if he holds multiple victories over Cena.

Also announced for the show is a face-to-face meeting between Triple H and Sting. Their grudge began at November's Survivor Series when Sting debuted and helped Dolph Ziggler get his final elimination in the Team Authority versus Team Cena main event. That result saw The Authority banished forever. Forever apparently lasts less than a month and a half because they were reinstated by the end of the year and since then Sting has made further appearances to antagonise 'The King of Kings' for literally no reason at all.

It would be nice to think that their confrontation at Fast Lane would be where we'll find out what 'The Vigilante's' motives are. Sadly I don't think WWE have thought things through that far. They just know they need Sting to face someone at WrestleMania and they've gone with Triple H. Something half-hearted will be offered up as a token gesture but we won't get a logical reason for Sting to be gunning for a man he's never had anything to do with before fourteen years after the company they're linking him to closed down.

The two will agree to a match at WrestleMania. That's all this segment exists for.

There's also a Stardust versus Goldust match announced. It's a match that has been rumoured for every WrestleMania for the past three or four years and it's finally happening here. At Fast Lane. For a WWE mid-card match there's a lot of backstory here. Stardust was created last year when Cody Rhodes convinced himself he'd become the weak link of the team. Since then he's become increasingly unhinged, recently going so far as to declare Cody dead. 

Hopefully this match signals the beginning of the end for the Stardust character. It's been an enjoyable diversion but long term it can only be a hindrance to Cody. He doesn't necessarily have to win to look like a prospective star again but it wouldn't hurt. I don't think he will though. I think Goldust will win here, prompting a retirement stipulation rematch won by Cody. Winning that could be used as the trigger to make him realise how crazy he's become.

Beyond that only three matches are announced. Intercontinental champion Bad News Barrett defending against Dean Ambrose, Divas champion Nikki Bella defending against Paige, and tag team champions the Usos defending against the Brass Ring Club. Yes, that is a lot of title matches. Of the three Barrett v Ambrose will likely get the longest but I think it will just get trumped in terms of quality by the tag battle. Although it's nice to see 'The Lunatic Fringe' in a programme with someone it's disappointing that WWE are so clearly with how to use him. Slinging the IC strap on him would do the title some favours but it's hard to see it as anything other than a move being made out of desperation.

The tag match would be the ideal opener. It will likely be one of the best matches of the night and if they're given anywhere in the region of fifteen minutes the four men will do something tremendous. The challengers have racked up a number of non-title wins, both in singles and tag matches, against Jimmy and Jey over the last month but that's more likely to mean WWE are trying to wrong foot us than anything sensible or logical. I'm hoping Cesaro and Kidd win, the feud continues and we get a six person tag at WrestleMania (or on the pre-show) with Natalya and Naomi involved.

The Divas title match should be won by Paige. She's the best female wrestler on the main roster right now and is the best chance of turning the Divas division into something worthwhile. A women's scene centred around Paige, Natalya and Naomi could be excellent but it seems depressingly farfetched to expect anything resembling that to come about anytime soon. Nikki will probably retain so that she can drop the butterfly belt at the bigger show next month.

With such a slender card we can probably expect a couple of additions. A six man tag team match pitting the oddball trio of Dolph Ziggler, Ryback and Erick Rowan against Seth Rollins and two other guys seems plausible. The two other guys could either be big Show and Kane or Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury. Noble and Mercury could probably make a six man tag match quite fun, so I'd hope for their involvement. Of course a Ziggler v Rollins singles match would be best of all but that's asking too much.

Big Show performed his most recent turn on the February 13 episode of SmackDown, punching Kane just because. They made peace on the following RAW but the latest instalment in their best of 4,001 series could be added to Fast Lane to get them both onto the show. Their inclusion on pay-per-views seems to be a priority for some reason.

Lastly the Prime Time Players pretty much reunited on the pre-Fast Lane RAW when Titus O'Neil saved Darren Young from The Ascension. That would be a logical tag match to include. Titus and Young are both disposable too. That counts for a lot when considering opponents for The Ascension.

The most interesting thing about Fast Lane is how many of its matches seemed to have been peeled off of the WrestleMania line-up. Rusev versus Cena is the obvious example, but Paige v Nikki, the battle of the Dust brothers, the tag title match, and Barrett v Ambrose all could have been saved for the bigger show. That's either a good sign that tells us WWE have prepared an amazing WrestleMania or a bad sign that tells us they're splurging early and they don't know how to follow up. We'll know in a month's time, won't we.

***

Prediction summary:

Roman Reigns v Daniel Bryan to end in a draw
Rusev to defeat John Cena
Dean Ambrose to defeat Bad News Barrett for the Intercontinental championship
Goldust to defeat Stardust
Brass Ring Club to defeat the Usos for the tag team championship
Nikki Bella to defeat Paige to retain the Divas championship

SmackTalk 29.01.15

When snowstorms stopped WWE from promoting a live post-Royal Rumble RAW they compromised, relocating to WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut to put on a show based around interview segments. It was a smart move to make and they put on a very good show considering the severe limitations placed on them. But wrestling is about, well, wrestling, and as much as I suspect they enjoyed producing a three hour show with no in-ring content WWE needed to get back into an arena at some point. They decided to reschedule their trip to the XL Center in Hartford from Monday to Thursday, promoting a live edition of SmackDown in its new timeslot.

Michael Cole, Byron Saxton and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show, immediately hyping Reigns v Big Show and Bryan v Kane in a casket match. They referred to it as the final battle in their long feud. It’s worth noting at this point that the Bryan and Kane problems date back to the spring of 2012. They’ve feuded, on and off, for nearly three years. Time will tell whether this really will be the end but I'm not expecting it to be true.

Triple H got things going with a promo. Because WWE is incapable of starting live TV shows without an in-ring promo. He welcomed the crowd to Monday Night RAW (what a joker, eh?) before putting over WWE being great for working around not being allowed to do RAW on Monday and finally hitting their Network subscribers goal. After some jokes about balls (related to some sort of NFL controversy I'm not aware of because I’m not American) he said he will resolve the problem that is Sting at Fast Lane.

Then he talked about the controversy of the Royal Rumble. Apparently Reigns winning is considered controversial. I don't understand why it's controversial that a man won a match completely legally. 'The Game' said he'd end the controversy on Monday's RAW. Presumably this will take the form of a match announcement for Fast Lane.

Roman Reigns smouldering.

Before Tripper could leave he was joined by Reigns, who agreed with my feeling that his Rumble win was not a controversial situation. He was booed. Big Show was brought out for their scheduled match and Trips ambled backstage. The match would have been enjoyable had Reigns steamed through Show in minutes, a dynamic performance to demonstrate that he's above proven losers like Show.

But that didn't happen. What we got was a twelve and a half minute match that saw Reigns being worked over and failing to look like a powerhouse. At one point he did a performed a headscissors takedown, the exact opposite of the sort of moves he should be doing. He was also heavily booed throughout the match. WWE should have realised less is more and limited Reigns' camera time. He did at least win though, kicking out of a choke slam to hit two Superman punches, on a 'Giant' who had stupidly clambered up to the top rope, and a spear. Yep, it took three finishers to put Show down.

After a reminder that Schwarzenegger is going into the Hall of Fame Seth Rollins wandered out for a bit of a chat. His entrance got more cheers than Reigns' did. He put over his performance at the Rumble, how he’d come one second away from winning the title, and how he’s broken Lesnar's rib. He issued an open challenge, waited for approximately one second, and then started bragging that nobody wanted to face him.

Ryback not ruling.

Ryback's music hit and he came out to prove Rollins wrong. J&J Security and Rollins jumped Ryback. ‘Eerie’ Erick Rowan made the save. Rollins knocked him off the apron and went back to stomping 'The Big Guy'. Ziggler came out to round things out. The heels managed to fight their way out of the ring and ran backstage. I expected this to lead to a match later in the show. It didn’t.

We were next shown a topless Kane caressing a casket in a dimly lit room somewhere in the building. He talked about ending Daniel Bryan. It was distinctly un-PG.

Match number two was the very promising Tyson Kidd v Jey Uso. Sadly they got less than three minutes, nowhere near long enough for the competitive match they could have produced. Kidd worked the leg and got the win after drop kicking the knee and hitting a fisherman’s neck breaker. This match should have had its time swapped with Reigns and Show. That would have resulted in a far more enjoyable match and Reigns looking like a juggernaut for trouncing Show.

Another shot of Kane was shown with the casket. This time he didn't say anything. He just gazed into the casket. Maybe he was thinking about Katie Vick?

Rusev and Lana rocked up for a promo as the first hour drew to a close. Speaking English, Rusev said he should have won the Rumble. Even though he was thrown out easily and Reigns never got put over the top rope. Weak argument, bro. He said he deserved Lesnar but he was being given a man with no titles, hunger or desire, a man from the past, John Cena.

Naturally these words brought Cena out to the ring. Cena half-heartedly put over Rusev's accomplishments then vigorously talked himself up before challenging Rusev to fight him then and there. Rusev was up for it. Lana told him not to waste his time. He listened to her and they left the ring. The crowd booed. Cena made a gag about Lana being a ho and said he'd defeat Rusev at Fast Lane. But he would say that wouldn't he.

I'm not liking Rusev's chances.

There’s time to make the Rusev v Cena feud great but their early interactions haven’t filled me with confidence. Cena doesn’t seem to want to treat Rusev seriously. If he doesn’t then he’ll undo a year of good work building Rusev up as a credible upper mid-card heel and tank his chances of progressing further. The progression would help the company as a whole but create competition for Cena. It’s worth remembering that.

Paige spoke to Renee Young about her Divas championship match at Fast Lane. She was immediately interrupted by the Bellas. They made comments about Paige's skin tone, comparing her to snow and vampires. Paige laughed then elbowed Brie. The Bellas ended the segment on top, Nikki posing with her belt like she was in the ring.

The Ascension had a picture in picture promo as they headed to the ring for their match against Goldust and Stardust. Konnor called the New Age Outlaws D-geriatrics (because they were in D-Generation X, geddit?) and Viktor called Goldust "Oldust". Great stuff. The writing team really earned their money with this stellar material. It was a standard issue tag match. Stardust was pinned with The Fall of Man after tagging himself in against Goldust's better judgement.

Kane was again shown with the casket. Smoke had appeared in the room since he was last shown. He laughed (maybe because of the smoke?) then slammed the casket shut.

It wasn’t main event time quite yet. A backstage promoting a Syfy show about magic had to take place first. Alicia Fox, Zack Ryder, Summer Rae, and R-Truth were shown marking out over a magician from said Syfy magic show. He took a bite out of an Oreo cookie appear (product placement much?) and then made a whole one appear. Everyone was amazed by this.

Miz and Mizdow showed up. The magician lad said he'd always wanted to do a "trick" (ermmmmmm... real magicians call them illusions) with an A-lister. Miz fawned before the guy revealed he was talking about Mizdow, who broke character to shake his hand. The guy taught Miz a trick. Mizdow mimed Miz’s hand movements. The magician ended up cracking an egg he'd made appear on Miz's face, to prove it was real. It was as funny as you'd expect. In other words, not at all (except for Mizdow's miming).

In a darkened room Bray Wyatt asked what made people happy. He revealed that he's happy doing things most people aren't. He also mentioned smiles. It was even more pointless than the magic skit.

Budget cuts meant that there were no crew to set up the casket for the casket match. Kane had to  wheel it out and put it in place before Bryan's entrance. Poor old Kane, always getting lumbered with the unglamorous jobs. And, for that matter, the jobs.

They had the best match possible considering the crummy gimmick they were lumbered with and the over familiarity of their pairing together. The final three minutes were very good. Bryan slipped out of a Tombstone piledriver on the apron and hit several charging drop kicks, wobbling 'The Demon' over the coffin before getting thrown to the mat with a choke slam. ‘The Big Red Machine’ rolled Bryan into the casket and leant across him to close the lid. Bryan applied the Yes Lock and worked Kane into the casket and himself onto the apron. He tried closing the thing but Kane fought out and back into the ring where they ran through Tombstone, Yes Lock and choke slam attempts before D-Bry yanked down the top rope and a charging Kane wound up on the apron. A roundhouse kick dizzied him and a running knee sent him sprawling back into the casket, slamming the lid closed to win.

He's beaten Kane on SmackDown but what will he do at WrestleMania?

Bryan stood on the casket celebrating for two minutes before the show ended. It was a long time to celebrate, but for some reason the decision had been made for Michael Cole to yammer away about Triple H’s promise to address the imaginary controversy on RAW as the show closed. Bryan had to hang about because of that. Still, there are worse ways to close a show.

For the most part this SmackDown was decent. I’m concerned about the way WWE are choosing to use Reigns though. Having him win the Rumble is one thing, putting him in lengthy singles matches on TV is another. It doesn’t play to his strengths and it’s going to do nothing to dissipate the hostility towards him. Having him blitz people inside three minutes is the way to go. Something tells me they’re not going to learn that though.

That RAW Recap 22.09.14

“I’m not dead!” shouted Dean Ambrose at the beginning of this week’s RAW. It was in reference to the over the top fashion in which he’d been written off TV five weeks earlier, having his head smashed through several blocks of allegedly solid concrete. His irreverent attitude towards the angle was the only sensible way to handle it, seeing as he’d returned with no signs of injury after filming a movie. That that’s his approach is a large part of the reasons he’s so popular.

Ambrose called out The Authority so that he could continue his eternal fight with former teammate Seth Rollins. Instead he was joined by John Cena. He was in the mood for a little Rollins bashing himself, as Rollins’s interference had caused his championship match the previous evening to end via disqualification. In Cena’s mind Rollins had denied him a guaranteed title win.

"Did I ever tell you about my father?"

Ambrose warned Cena, twice, not to get in his way. Cena responded by taking off his shirt (to squeals of joy from some of the ladies in attendance). Ambrose slipped off his jacket. Before their joint show of machismo could progress further The Authority wandered out. Triple H started announcing some matches but was cut off by Cena and Ambrose slipping from the ring and rushing up the aisle to get their hands on ‘Mr Money in the Bank’.

A brawl ensued. Rollins quickly made his way backstage with the faces in hot pursuit. Kane, Orton and the bosses were left looking confused at ringside. Rollins would ultimately make his getaway in a car with its keys handily left in the ignition. Someone’s lost an insurance claim there.

After a break Big Tripper announced Kane v Dean Ambrose and John Cena v Randy Orton. Ambrose v Kane was bad enough, it’s a match we’ve seen far too often this year. But throwing out Cena v Orton too? I can’t believe anyone in WWE genuinely thinks that’s a good idea at this point. They’ve had dozens of televised matches over the years and I can’t remember an audience caring about a single one. Cena v Kane and Orton v Ambrose would have been more appealing, and that’s with the overfamiliarity of Cena and Kane bouts taken into consideration.

The first match of the night saw Dolph Ziggler regain the Intercontinental championship from The Miz. They reused the finish of their match the night before, but with ‘The Show Off’ reversing Miz’s pin into one of his own, grabbing the tights for a turnabout is fair play moment. This marked the second time ‘The Awesome One’ had held the IC strap for just one day. It also marked the beginning of Ziggler’s third reign. I can only assume someone wants to get back to the approach of titles changing hands multiple times during feuds. I’m all for that. It makes things interesting and makes it clear the belt is something all involved want to have.

After Jack Swagger had submitted Bo Dallas (a competent affair) and Natalya had submitted Summer Rae (less competent but still very much an affair) we got Kane and Ambrose’s match. They wrestled for about eight minutes before Rollins appeared and caused a disqualification. Afterwards the former Shield lads fought with ‘The Lunatic Fringe’ gaining the upper hand. Rollins backed away from the ring, not wanting any part of a fight with Ambrose ready for him. Cena, for the record, was nowhere to be seen here, despite him starting the night by stating that all he wanted was to get his hands on Rollins.

Backstage ‘The Game’ told Rollins to stop starting fights and having The Authority finish them. Then Ambrose showed up, got taken out by Jamie Noble and security as Triple H looked on, and found himself locked in a room by Stephanie McMahon. I’ll be honest, I can think of worse fates than being trapped and being at Stephanie McMahon’s mercy.

SPLASH!

The Usos teamed up with US champion Sheamus to face Goldust, Stardust and Cesaro. The two tag teams have faced off enough times to be relied upon for a good match whenever required and Sheamus and Cesaro had had the best match of the evening at Night of Champions the night before. Basically, this was designed to be a good match and it was. The good guys won after the Usos hit a super kick and splash combo on Goldy.

That was followed by the funniest moment of the show. In the back Rollins approached Orton and apologised for not fighting his own battles, promising a surprise for later in the show. Orton’s response: “Well… I do like surprises.”

Mark Henry apologised to the American people for his Night of Champions loss to Rusev. The Russians came out and offered Henry a rematch. He accepted and lost. At this point I think the only honourable thing for Henry to do is retire. He’s let the greatest nation in the universe down far too often.

Adam Rose and The Bunny defeated Slater Gator. The Bunny did not seem especially over and nobody seemed to be aware of the feud it’s had with Slater and O’Neil. Rose was the one who got the win for his team (as he should have been) with the Party Foul.

That was followed by Nikki Bella going all Brian Kendrick and demanding she be referred to as ‘The’ Nikki Bella. She also said Brie should drop the surname. This naturally ended in a shoving match, Brie Bryan gaining the upper hand and sending her sister sprawling from the ring. Nikki then lost a non-title match to AJ Lee as Paige sat on commentary saying a whole lot of nothing.

Orton v Cena was the main event. In fairness to WWE it was different from their (many) previous encounters because The Authority were in ‘The Viper’s’ corner and there was a blocky object covered with a black cloth near the announce desk. Y’know, exactly like the cloth that covered the cinder blocks that took out Ambrose.

"Oh hi, Kane!"

The match ended with a DQ when Cena put Orty in the STF and Kane and Rollins immediately interfered to break the hold. It was the second disqualification of the night and the third in two days. I’m not usually bothered by disqualification finishes if they’re done for a reason, which the Lesnar v Cena finish was. But I do think WWE went overboard here. If a pay-per-view main event ends with a DQ than a clean finish should go on last the following night. But hey, the RAW finish was done for a reason too so I suppose an argument can be made in its favour.

Orton, Kane and Rollins knocked Cena about a bit before taking him over to the announce desk. We were left to assume that the cloth was once again covering cinder blocks, but it wasn’t. Instead Kane whipped it away to reveal Dean Ambrose. No explanation for how Ambrose escaped from a sealed room was provided. We were left to assume he can teleport. He attacked all three Authority boys, eventually isolating Rollins in the ring. Before he could really lay into him Kane grabbed him for a choke slam. Cena made the save but it was too late: Rollins had escaped. He stood gloating in the crowd as the show went off the air.