WWE Battleground 2015 preview

With a Rollins versus Lesnar championship match in the main event slot WWE could have taken it easy with the Battleground undercard. They've done such a good job building Lesnar up (keeping him strong, if you will) over the last eighteen months that getting to see him wrestle can be considered a special occasion. Even when it's on a house show in Japan against Kofi Kingston.

But they haven't taken it easy. The undercard of the Batteground show has clearly had some thought put into it, with some matches that will almost certainly be very good and others designed to heat people up for bigger, better things sometime in the (presumably not too distant) future. Of the former we have Sheamus versus Orton and the tag team championship match. Of the latter we have Reigns versus Wyatt and (potentially) the IC title three-way. Meanwhile Owens versus Cena can fit snugly into both categories.

That comment about the three-way may confuse some people so I'll talk about that first. I don't think Miz, Big Show or Ryback should be considered locks for top card spots. Miz had his chance in 2010 and 2011 and he blew it. There's always a chance Show could be slotted back into a top spot in an emergency but on the whole I think we should be expecting to see him at this upper mid-card card level from now on.

But something big could be planned for Ryback. His status has been all over the place over the last few years. He went from main eventing shows against WWE champion CM Punk to being in a nothing tag team with Curtis Axel before being sensibly turned face again so that he could be slowly shifted up the ranks once more, which is where we find him now. This match is clearly designed to boost his standing by having him beat a monster and an irritant at the same time. It's possible that the intention is to have him ready for something big by the end of the year. Whether that's the case or not he'll be leaving with the gold.

The Reigns v Wyatt match is more definitely about making someone look good and getting them ready for something else. It's just not obvious who that is. I can fully understand people expecting Reigns to win this match but I don't think it's anywhere close to a foregone conclusion. We know that WWE likes to stretch feuds between major names (which Reigns and Wyatt are) over two or three pay-per-views. I fully expect to see a rematch at SummerSlam. And because of this it's possible 'The Eater of Worlds' will defeat WWE's favourite Samoan.

If that happens I don' think it will be a clean victory. It almost certainly wouldn't, in fact. Reigns is considered the more important of the two long term and as such he's the only man in this feud likely to gain a win clean. But Wyatt winning via shenanigans at Battleground would be the simplest way of setting up the SummerSlam rematch. It would also be unexpected and allow the creative team to do some sort of distraction finish with Wyatt utilising Reigns' daughter in some way, which is something they seem inexplicably big on right now.

Owens v Cena III: The Reckoning should be amazing. Their first two matches have both been match of the year contenders, adding to Owens' generally strong body of work from his six months in NXT and Cena's surprising, welcome, and mildly baffling string of wondrous matches against mid-card wrestlers. They're currently tied at one win a piece. That would usually make me lean a little more towards a Cena victory because it's rare for him to fall behind on the victory tally when he's in a series with someone, especially someone not yet established. You need only look at the Rusev programme from earlier this year for a perfect example of Cena losing an initial meeting only to go on to win each subsequent bout, despite it not being in the company's long term best interests.

Things are different with Owens. Not only does he have more momentum than 'The Bulgarian Brute' but WWE seems generally more interested pushing him, presumably because they see more potential in him than Rusev (rightly so, if true). By the time we were midway through Rusev v Cena it was clear they didn't really see Rusev as someone who'd be headlining soon (a shame because had Rusev not lost at all to Cena, or even just had one more win and looked a smidge more competitive in his losses he could have been a great world title contender by now). Owens is being afforded time to flesh out his character and being presented as a man who could very well be Cena's equal in the ring. This is, basically, a programme that features a man who has a future at the top of the card and a man who is the top of the card.

I think this is a bout Owens has to win. His character is one that needs the advantage over Cena at this point. We need to be shown that he'll keep pushing himself after suffering a loss, and a second win over Cena would be so much better for the longevity of this rivalry. The best route that could be taken with this feud is presenting Owens as the surly, indy-friendly version of Cena, which he pretty much is. For that to truly work he needs to have Cena's skill of rebounding from a loss with a more dominating performance.

The only downside of an Owens win would be the loss of Cena's weekly US Open Challenge from RAW.  It's been the highlight of most RAWs since it was introduced a few months ago and has allowed Cena to have what I think is shaping up to be the strongest in-ring year of his career. But this would be a small price to pay to enhance Owens for a bit. And there's no reason 'Mr Wrestling' couldn't do his own weekly challenge, which I'm sure would keep the good matches coming and be an interesting way of keeping the Cena v Owens rivalry alive.

On a similar note, I expect Sheamus v Orton to be good as well. They generally have enjoyable matches together, bringing out the best in one another and having good timing together. It's a shame they don't have more of a story beyond "Randy came back after his hols and took out his latest indecipherable babyface frustrations out on Shaymo" because if they did I think I could have been tempted into caring about this. Sheamus will presumably win because he's got the Money in the Bank briefcase and he'll need to be kept strong for whatever angle that earns him.

The Prime Time Players v New Day should be a reliably fun match too. New Day's ability to get insane heat from audiences should keep people interested and help to encourage cheers for the PTPs. The last couple of months have demonstrated that Young and O'Neil can contribute good matches if the booking's right and they're given long enough to pull themselves together. Hopefully that trend will continue. As far as winners go I'll go with the Players because they've only had the titles a month. Should New Day win it will be after cheating, quite possibly Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston swapping places at the finish. Because sneaky heels, am I right?!

Which leaves us only the main event to discuss. I'll start with the obvious and say this match should be very good. Lesnar and Rollins have interacted a fair bit this year what with their interaction in the Royal Rumble triple threat and their handful of intense scuffles. This, along with the fact that Lesnar matches always benefit from a lot of planning and forethought, should ensure they put on a good show. It's interesting to note that this is their first ever singles match despite them interacting as long ago as Night of Champions last September, when Rollins caused a DQ with a failed Money in the Bank cash-in.

The story of the match seems easy to guess. Lesnar will be the unstoppable monster he always is and Rollins will play the coward. Lesnar will dominant the early going before Rollins cheats to gain an advantage for a while. There things get hazy. Lesnar will obviously make a comeback but it won't necessarily lead to a win and his fifth WWE world championship. A month before SummerSlam doesn't seem like the right time for a title switch. For that matter Lesnar doesn't feel like the guy to take the title from 'The Future'. That would be Roman Reigns.

So I'm going to say we'll see Rollins retain the championship. I can't see it being a straightforward win. Lesnar's unlikely to take one of those for someone not named Roman Reigns.

Battleground looks like it could be a good show. Despite the puzzling absence of Dean Ambrose and the depressing absence of the Divas division, which had only been rejuvenated on Monday (although there's time for a women's match to be added I think it's sad that after doing such a good job of creating interest in the division nothing was immediately announced to capitalise on the momentum), I think there's a lot to look forward to. Owens v Cena and Lesnar v Rollins alone are worth watching this show for. Anything else being good is pretty much a bonus.

***

Predictions summary:

Seth Rollins to retain the WWE championship against Brock Lesnar via shenanigans
Kevin Owens to defeat John Cena for the United States championship
Bray Wyatt to defeat Roman Reigns
The Prime Time Players to retain the tag team championship against New Day
Ryback to retain the Intercontinental championship
Sheamus to defeat Randy Orton

WWE WrestleMania 31 review

WrestleMania 31. The main event of the WWE pay-per-view calendar. It would be stretching things to say that the company has been diligently building all of its major storylines towards this for the last year but it's certainly the culmination of several months of work. Sting and Triple H's feud started in November. Miz and Mizdow have been together since around then. Orton got wiped out by The Authority, setting up his grudge match with Rollins, as long ago as October. There were clearly plans in pieces for this show a long time ago.

Of course, one of the key pieces was the WWE's new chosen one. The man chosen to lead the company into the future as one of the stars of the current generation of wrestlers. For the first time in quite a while someone was positioned to experience their first world title victory in the main event of the show. Someone was positioned to be anointed as the company's new lead star.

It just wasn't the man we were expecting.

Including the pre-show WrestleMania was six hours long. Six hours. That's a lot of WrestleMania. The first hour mostly consisted of hype videos for the show's matches and natter from the panel of Booker T, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton and host Renee Young. The highlight was a backstage meeting between Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury and The Stooges in which Noble searched for sugar and Brisco revaled he'd used it all getting coffee for Mr MackMan.

The pre-show's second hour, exclusive to the WWE Network even though the idea of a pre-show is to get some last minute buys (and, in this case, Network subscriptions), featured two matches. The first was a very good tag team title match which saw champions Cesaro and Tyson Kidd retain against, Los Matadores, the New Day combo of Big E and Kofi Kingston, and, technically, the Usos. I say technically because Jey took an early spill to the outside at the hands of Cesaro (to write him out of the match due to a pre-existing injury) which left Jimmy to fight alone.

What a pair. And the tag champs.

It was a well-constructed succession of spots, the ideal opener for a show like this as it gave people chance to cheer and cheer and cheer. Each team hit at least doubles move and there was a sequence where all the seconds fought one another, ending with Natalya taking a Rear View form Naomi. The match ended when everyone except Jimmy was involved in a double superple off the shoulders spot. Everyone but Jimmy was wiped out by it and he took the opportunity to splash Big E. Cesaro appeared from nowhere to lob Rikishi's lad out of the ring and steal the pin.

The second match was the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. It was not such a roaring success. Curtis Axel, who'd managed to become genuinely popular in the weeks leading up to the show based on being a guy creative overlooks, found himself overlooked by creative and eliminate first. This was likely done to stop him overshadowing the match's designated stars. This left me feeling that WWE still has no idea how to embrace organic popularity. When Hidoe Itami was KO punched off the apron by Big Show I felt the same, although he at least got to get in some kicks and eliminate Bo Dallas before he went.

My feelings changed slightly when Cesaro got to eliminate Kane with a scoop slam, the same thing he'd done to Big Show to win the previous year's battle royal. He attempted the same thing with 'The Giant' but his back gave out and he was sent over the top rope by Show. This didn't bother me as much as the treatment of Itami and Axel. There was a logical sequence which led to 'The Swiss Superman's' elimination.

Ryback fired himself up and got tossed out by Big Show befoe the match came down to Miz, Mizdow and Show. Miz pleaded with Mizdow to work with him against Big Show so the match could come down to the two of them. Mizdow didn't allow himself to be fooled. He threw 'The Awesome One' over the top rope and took his chances with 'The World's Largest Athlete'. It didn't work out well for him. He managed to survive for a minute or two but the match eventually went to Show after he simply dunked Mizdow over the top rope.

"Pull my finger."

I don't have a problem with Big Show winning. There was nothing on the line besides a trophy that looks like it's made from chocolate and tinfoil. The creative team deserve credit for embracing the Miz and Mizdow rivalry and having it come to a head here. Although I can't help but feel the crowd would have gone wild had the match come down to Mizdow and Curtis Axel. The two underdog favourites getting to close out the match could have been really suspenseful. And the Miz and Mizdow split still could have worked.

The Intercontinental championship ladder match opened the official WrestleMania show. It was preceded by a really good video that started out highlighting the importance of the championship before switching to focus on the legacy of ladder matches at WretleMania. This allowed it to cleverly gloss over how the IC title has been pretty much meaninglessness for the last fifteen years.

While the match didn't feature as many crazy bumps as I'd expected it still had plenty to choose from. A series of dives to the outside at the start of the match culminated with Ziggler getting back dropped over the top rope and Luke Harper diving onto everyone, before Dean Ambrose scaled a ladder to hit his cross body elbow. Stardust introduced a diamanté ladder, only for Barrett to kick a step off it and smack people with it. Harper did the Terry Funk ladder spot before dropping it and getting scissor kicked onto it by R-Truth. Barrett suplexed Stardust off the top of a ladder. Ambrose was Awesome bombed from the ring through a ladder by Harper. Barrett went on a Bullhammer rampage, pulling Ziggler off a ladder into the move, battering Stardust with it as he leapt off the top rope into the ring, and then smashing Truth off the ladder.

I didn't want this but I'm willing to give it a try.

Daniel Bryan nearly got the belt during this but was pulled off the ladder by Barrett. He avoided the Bullhammer and felled the defending champion with the running knee. Bryan scaled the ladder again only for Ziggler to sprint up and offer some last minute resistance at the top. They traded forearms and headbutts, D-Bry getting the last word when he knocked Ziggler to the mat with a head butt and reached up to pull down the title belt and win his first Intercontinenta championship. I'd been against Bryan winning but it went down well with the 'Mania crowd. They were happy to see Bryan triumph.

Orton v Rollins was match number two. Orton dominated the first several minutes, smacking Rollins about and no-selling buckle bomb before flooring 'The Future' with a clothesline. J&J interfered and were dropped off the apron with a double draping DDT. But that was enough of a distraction for Rollins to get in a suicide dive and take over the pace of the match. After a brief rest hold Orton comes back with clotheslines and turned a Curb Stomp attempt into a power slam.

'The Viper' hit a rough-looking T-bone suplex. Rollins escaped a draping DDT and got in an enziguri then an Asai moonsault to the outside. Back in the ring Orton got his draping DDT. Orton went for the RKO but Rollins countered into a schoolboy roll-up. Orty kicked out and then took an super kick but managed to stay on his feet to hit Rollins with an RKO.

Orton reacted to the kick out that followed with absolute shock. That seemed a bit much. Yes it normally wins him a match but people have kicked out of the move before, and this was WrestleMania, where we told that everyone goes that little bit further to make an impression. Anyway, he went for his back-up finish, the Deadly Punt™. Noble got in way and took an RKO. Mercury tried a cross body and took an RKO in mid-air. This allowed provided enough of a distraction for Rollins to recover and this time he hit Orton with a Curb Stomp.

An unspectacular photo from a really very good match.

Randy kicked out of that and Seth pulled him into position for the phoenix splash. Orton slipped out of the way as Rollins left the top rope. Rollins landed on his feet and rolled across the ring. Orton went for an RKO, got pushed off and stumbled to his knees. The match ended on a beuatifully performed exchange as Rollins went for the Curb Stomp and Orton slipped out from under him to catch him coming down with an RKO. The match could not have been better.

In a bold (or possibly stupid) move Sting and Triple H followed. They even went without the benefit of a pop song or a filler match. They did get the grand entrance treatment though. Sting came out to a Stomp-style group playing metal drums and wearing his face paint. Triple H had something themed around the Terminator. There was a headpiece themed around his tried and tested skull and crown motifs along with a red "laser" eye, four classic Terminator robots stood motionless on the stage, extras dressed up as less spectacular robots, a target-acquiring POV shot, and a cameo from Arnold Schwarzenegger in which he said "It's time to play the game!". It was weird but also nicely done. Triple H's cosplay fantasies are the closest thing to The Streak we have left at WrestleMania.

The opening few minutes were all about making Sting look like a top guy. He overpowered Trips. Then he outwrestled him. He no-sold the knee buster and went for the Scorpion deathlock. Trips wriggled out of the ring, returning to get whipped back outside via Sting's immense power. Sting followed him out and went for a splash against the barricade. Triple H moved and threw him into the steel steps.

Paul versus Steve: The Epic Collision.

Back in the ring H3 muscled Sting up for a stalling suplex then worked Sting over with knees and powerful whips into the corner before slapping on a sleeper so that 'The Vigilante' could loudly call some spots. Sting fought back and applied the deathlock. Billy Gunn, Road and X Pac ran to the DX music. Sting made short work of them with chops. The he threw Tripper out of the ring onto them for good measure. That set up a nice human crash mat for Sting to leap off the top rope onto. It looked like 'The Stinger' was finally going to put 'The Game' but a distraction from Billy Gunn allowed Trips to get in a Pedigree.

Sting kicked out so Triple H grabbed his sledgehammer. Before he could use it he was distracted by the music of the nWo and Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Hulk Hogan swaggering down to the ring. Had he thought about it the so-called 'Cerebral Assassin' could have lamped Sting with the hammer and won the match before the nWo fellas had arrived at ringside. He was clearly awed by their shock tactics.

When they arrived the nWo dispatched DX and Sting recovered to hit a Scorpion Death Drop on Tripper. When Trips kicked out Sting put him in the deathlock. Triple H went for the sledgehammer that lay tantalisingly close. Luckily for Sting that bastion of fairness Hulk Hogan was on hand to grab it from the evil COO's clutches. That triggered a flurry of activity on the outside and DX and the nWo wiped each other. Trips sat in the hold as this went on, only managing to make it to the ropes after everything had simmered down and the camera was back on him. Funny that. It was almost like the match was staged.

Sting went to reapply the Scorpion deathlock but got lamped with Sweet Chin Music (outta nowhere!) by Shawn Michaels. Helmsley crawled into a cover and Sting kicked out. Billy handed Trips the sledgehammer. Hall handed Sting the bat. Sting dropped Triple H with a tap to the midsection then broke the hammer's staff in half. 'The Game' backed into a corner and got pummelled with fists and a Stinger Splash. 'The Vigilante' got greedy and went for a second, which gave Triple H the chance to grab hold of the top half of the sledgehammer and lamp him with it. That was enough to finally put 'The Stinger' down for three.

After the match Triple H pushed DX off and offered a handshake to Sting. Sting accepted. The entire match was far, far better than I'd expected it to be. Sting was protected, Triple H didn't try anything too fancy, and they made excellent use of run-ins. It's probably a bit odd that Sting was saved by the nWo, a group he experienced the biggest match of his career fighting against, but we can take that as the four having put aside their differences since WCW went under. Or you could go really wild and see it as acknowledgment that Sting really was with the nWo all along as they claimed in the nineties.

Backstage Maria Menounos interviewed new IC champ Daniel Bryan, asking how he felt about his win. He tried to answer and was interrupted by Pat Patterson, Roddy Piper, Ricky Stramboat, Ric Flair, and Bret Hart. They all but Bryan over (Flair got himself over too, naturally) and did a "Yes!" chant. Then Ron Simmons showed up and said "Damn!". I presume this was hilarious for those into that sort of thing.

Following a musical performance so uninspiring I can't even be bothered to look up who it was by Paige and AJ Lee teamed up to tangle with the Bellas. Paige was isolated by the twins for a while before finally managing to tag out to AJ. She worked over Nikki, Paige eliminated Brie, and then AJ made Nikki submit to the Black Widow. This was the most time I can remember Divas getting at 'Mania in years. They made the most of it and told a story in a good match.

After the audience had been given the chance to gape at the Hall of Famers it was time for Cena v Rusev II: The Russian Federation Strikes Back. Rusev entered on a tank. An actual, honest to goodness tank. There was other stuff going on with a Russian flag and troops and Lana but it was nowhere near as impressive as RUSEV RIDING A TANK. John Cena got a video of American symbolism intercut with Reagan jingoism. His actual entrance was the standard Cena entrance.

Flag-related taunts set to become wrestling's next craze.

They had another surprisingly energetic, enjoyable match. The match they gave us at Fast Lane had raised my expectations for the quality of this match. They again surpassed them. Cena pulled out his top rope leg drop, multiple AAs and the STF. Rusev busted out his regular assortment of big lad moves and  athletic kicks. He was on top of his game with his selling, ring placement, and facial expressions, perfectly getting across his increasing desperation with wild eyes and an uncharacteristic trip to the top rope.

Not to be outdone with new material Cena hit a springboard Ace crusher. Then he powered to his feet and almost casually become the first man to break out of the Accolade. Lana tried a distraction from the apron and got knocked off by Rusev. Cena then scooped him up and hit him with an AA. Just like that Cena won. It felt like Rusev should've been able to withstand more with a year-long winning streak to his name. Going down to the second AA of the night seemed very anti-climactic.

Then the stalling kicked in. You see, WWE likes to present certain wrestlers in certain ways. One such wrestler is Undertaker. He always enters to darkness because he's a spooky character and darkness is spooky. At this point it was about quarter to seven. They needed to kill time so that it was as dark as possible for 'The Dead Man's' entrance. They also needed to give the crowd time to cool down and hit the toilets before the final two matches of the card.

The expert panel and the commentary split the task of recapping the show up until that point. Then Triple H (now wearing a suit) and Stephanie  were introduced. They announced that a new attendance record of 76,976 had been set for the stadium. Steph put herself and Tripper over as the reason for this and WWE's success in general. Trips took over and said they owned everyone there and everyone watching. I thought this was leading to an appearance from Vince McMahon but instead we got The Rock. He goaded Triple H into taking his jacket off before Steph stepped in and told Rock her family had made his family then gave him a slap. She teased The Rock about ot being able to hit her because she's a woman and ordered him to the back.

Luckily Rock avoided inappropriate talk of pies.

Rock left the ring but he didn't go to the back. Instead he went over to Ronda Rousey (sporting a memetastic "It's over 9000!" T-shirt) in the front row and brought her into the ring. Steph said she and Ronda were pals. When Ronda didn't exactly go along with this Steph demanded she leave. Rock and Tripe H ended up getting into it, with Ronda giving Triple H a hip toss and then grabbing Steph. She released her and the heels hobbled backstage as Rock's music played and he declared the sequence the greatest WrestleMania moment of the night. It was good but this self-aggrandizement put me off it a bit.

With all the time that could be killed killed it was time for Undertaker versus Bray Wyatt. 'The New Face of Fear' entered first, accompanied by a gang of scarecrows, some of whom he brought to life as he walked past. This could not compare with Rusev's tank entrance. Nor, for that matter, could Undertaker's entrance. There was still plenty of light in the sky and, for the first time in a few years, there were no special props on the stage. It was just 'Taker, his jacket and hat, and the funereal music. Very much a back to basics approach.

The match was fine but not the special attraction I think many expected. The crowd didn't seemed as invested in Undertaker as they have been at recent WrestleManias and I suspect this was because of the lack of The Streak. Not having that to fight for and defend makes 'The Phenom' a bit pointless, drifting character. The Streak was tied strongly to his legacy. Without it there's very little point in him sticking around unless he's going to have a stronger presence on TV across the year, which he's obviously not.

Who'd have guessed Sting v Triple H would be more enjoyable
than Wyatt v Undertaker?

They did most, but not all, of the spots that could have been asked of them. Wyatt did his flying forearm and threw out a handful of Sister Abigails. 'Taker gave us Old School, choke slams, and Tombstone piledrivers but omitted the Hell's Gate and the Last Ride. It seemed peculiar. When a guy who only wrestles once a year has this many recognisable moves to call on you expect him to pul them all out, especially in what was possibly his penultimate match. Wyatt survived one Tombstone but fell to a second just after the fifteen minute mark.

That just left the main event: Roman Reigns challenging Brock Lesnar for the WWE world heavyweight championship.

Reigns' entrance was heavy on boos. Lesnar got a thunderous initial pop and extended cheers once he was in the ring. He also received a personal ring introduction from his advocate, Paul Heyman. I liked that. It was a good use of Heyman on a show that didn't really have any other opportunity for him to talk.

Within thirty seconds of the match starting Lesnar had hit Reigns with a German suplex and an F5. He didn't go for a cover. Instead he started with the throws and suplexes. Reigns made sporadic attempts to fight back, clotheslining and pie-facing the champion as well as chuckling, to show us that he can take a beating, but he was quickly shut down each time.

The scene before the match.

After a while Reigns was punched off the apron down to the ringside mats. He got a brief moment of hope as he headed back into the ring, kneeing Lesnar in the face as he tried to grab him. 'The Pain' shrugged that off and sent Reigns off the apron back down to the mats with a lariat. When he returned to the ring he was given more suplexes, Heyman counting along with each one. The eighth was a particularly impressive belly-to-belly from the apron, over the top rope, back into the ring. 

'The Conqueror' hit an F5 and went for the first cover of the match. Reigns kicked out. Lesnar punched away at Reigns. Reigns laughed, earning himself two more German suplexes and a third F5. Reigns kicked out again, technically breaking WWE's unwritten rule that people don't kick out of more than three finishers in a match.

Lesnar tried to shove Reigns into a ring post outside the ring but Reigns managed to reverse the attempt. Lesnar would roll back into the ring bleeding heavily. Reigns hit him with a Superman punch but the champ stayed on his feet. A second Superman punch sent 'The Beast', briefly, down to a knee. Reigns went for the move a third time but Lesnar sidestepped it and went for a German suplex. Reigns fought out and blasted Lesnar with a third Superman punch and two spears. Lesnar managed to kick out. Reigns went for another Superman punch but Lesnar caught him in mid-air and F5ed him.

With both men down Seth Rollins sprinted out to the ring and cashed in his Money in the Bank contract, sending the crowd crazy (in a positive way, obvs). The match was restarted as a triple threat and Rollins immediately booted 'The Big Dog' out of the ring and Curb Stomped Lesnar. He went for the move a second time but Lesnar snatched him up into position for the F5. Reigns thrust himself back into the action with a spear. Lesnar rolled out of the ring. Rollins hit Reigns with a Curb Stomp and pinned him to become the new WWE world heavyweight champion.

The scene  after the match.

The main event was superb. Reigns stood up to a vicious beating from Lesnar and kept coming back for more. Lesnar delivered the suplexes and F5s he's adored for. The finish was designed to accomplish several things and did so. Lesnar was kept strong by not being pinned. Reigns was presented as the wronged victim who had his moment stolen away by someone else's selfishness. Rollins was presented as an opportunistic chancer who selected the perfect moment, making a name for himself at the expense of someone who'd earned their way to the top. Which, in kayfabe terms, Reigns had with his Rumble victory and win over Daniel Bryan at Fast Lane.

WrestleMania 31 was a far better show than I'd thought. I hadn't really expected much from many of the matches. Too many of them seemed like odd choices for a big show. But there wasn't a bad match on the card. The main event was everything I wanted it to be.

What's nice is that it feels like WWE has a plan coming out of this show. I don't like Bryan and Cena having the mid-card titles but it's clearly been done for a purpose. The world title picture has Rollins on top with Lesnar, Reigns and Orton in a position to argue they deserve a championship match against him. On the night the show was a surprising success. I think it will prove to have been a success in the long term too.

***

Results summary:

Cesaro and Tyson Kidd retain the tag team championship
Big Show won the Andre Battle Royal, last eliminating Damien Mizdow
Daniel Bryan won the Intercontinental championship in a ladder match
Randy Orton defeated Seth Rollins
Triple H defeated Sting
AJ Lee and Paige defeated the Bellas
John Cena defeated Rusev to win the United States championship
Undertaker defeated Bray Wyatt
Seth Rollins defeated Roman Reigns and Brock Lesnar to win the WWE championship

31 Possibilities

WrestleMania 31’s beginning to take shape. Roman Reigns has won the Royal Rumble and seems likely to retain his number one contender status against Daniel Bryan at Fast Lane. Doing so will see him go on to challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE title. Lesnar isn’t currently scheduled to defend his title at Fast Lane, making his defence at ‘Mania all but a certainty.

Sting will wrestle at 'Mania. Unfortunately.

Triple H is intent on calling out Sting at Fast Lane, which will presumably lead to a match on March 29. Rollins seems destined to have a grudge match with Orton. The first ever Cena v Rusev meet has been moved forward to Fast Lane but in all likelihood they’ll end up wrestling again at WrestleMania, because it’s such a WrestleMania match. And ‘The People’s’ Elixir’¹ Daniel Bryan has been talking to Dolph Ziggler on Twitter, for all the world to see, about having a match together on ‘The Grandest Stage of Them All’.

But what if all of these threads are red herrings? I mean, they’re probably not because it’s shaping up to be the sort of card WWE likes to produce for ‘Mania. But none of it is definite yet. Not even Reigns v Lesnar, until Reigns gets past Bryan.

There’s still time for WWE to swing onto a very different path.

We’ve seen Paul Heyman offer Lesnar to The Authority as a problem solver. What if ‘The King of Kings’ has no intention of wrestling Sting himself and instead plans to challenge him to step in the ring with Lesnar? That could mean two matches for the usually light scheduled ‘Beast’. But he could also lose the title in an as yet unbooked defence at Fast Lane or in an altercation on RAW to a Money in the Bank wielding Seth Rollins.

That would see Rollins going into WrestleMania as the champion. Reigns would be the obvious candidate to face him. But maybe all the promos and the heavy-handed pushing and Triple H’s talk on Austin’s podcast were all intended to lead us in the wrong direction. Maybe Daniel Bryan will wrest the title shot away from Reigns, giving us D-Bry versus Rollins for the WWE championship in the WrestleMania main event. The return of the mighty Orton could wait until ‘Mania itself, or the night after.

Bryan versus Rollins at WM31? It'd be good but it's not likely.

This would leave Rumble winner and perceived golden boy Reigns out in the cold. What if his increasingly heelish mannerisms have actually been the lead-up to a full blown turn? He could attack Dolph Ziggler, the guy currently rumoured to be Bryan’s WM31 opponent, in frustration.

This chain of events would give us Reigns v Ziggler, Lesnar v Sting, and Rollins v Bryan for the championship. This is all massively unlikely. In places it’s unappealing. But it’s not impossible. WWE could surprise us with some or all of this. While I don’t necessarily want them to it is nice that there are alternate paths that they could take. It’s nice to have some unpredictable wrestling television from them.

But I'd draw the line at changes occurring that prevent us getting Miz versus Mizdow on the pre-show. That's the one match that really has to happen.

***

¹ That's not just a Frasier reference, it's an apt Frasier reference. I think 'The People's Elixir' is an amusing a relevant nickname for Bryan. I'll be using it from now on.

SmackTalk 29.01.15

When snowstorms stopped WWE from promoting a live post-Royal Rumble RAW they compromised, relocating to WWE Headquarters in Stamford, Connecticut to put on a show based around interview segments. It was a smart move to make and they put on a very good show considering the severe limitations placed on them. But wrestling is about, well, wrestling, and as much as I suspect they enjoyed producing a three hour show with no in-ring content WWE needed to get back into an arena at some point. They decided to reschedule their trip to the XL Center in Hartford from Monday to Thursday, promoting a live edition of SmackDown in its new timeslot.

Michael Cole, Byron Saxton and Jerry 'The King' Lawler welcomed us to the show, immediately hyping Reigns v Big Show and Bryan v Kane in a casket match. They referred to it as the final battle in their long feud. It’s worth noting at this point that the Bryan and Kane problems date back to the spring of 2012. They’ve feuded, on and off, for nearly three years. Time will tell whether this really will be the end but I'm not expecting it to be true.

Triple H got things going with a promo. Because WWE is incapable of starting live TV shows without an in-ring promo. He welcomed the crowd to Monday Night RAW (what a joker, eh?) before putting over WWE being great for working around not being allowed to do RAW on Monday and finally hitting their Network subscribers goal. After some jokes about balls (related to some sort of NFL controversy I'm not aware of because I’m not American) he said he will resolve the problem that is Sting at Fast Lane.

Then he talked about the controversy of the Royal Rumble. Apparently Reigns winning is considered controversial. I don't understand why it's controversial that a man won a match completely legally. 'The Game' said he'd end the controversy on Monday's RAW. Presumably this will take the form of a match announcement for Fast Lane.

Roman Reigns smouldering.

Before Tripper could leave he was joined by Reigns, who agreed with my feeling that his Rumble win was not a controversial situation. He was booed. Big Show was brought out for their scheduled match and Trips ambled backstage. The match would have been enjoyable had Reigns steamed through Show in minutes, a dynamic performance to demonstrate that he's above proven losers like Show.

But that didn't happen. What we got was a twelve and a half minute match that saw Reigns being worked over and failing to look like a powerhouse. At one point he did a performed a headscissors takedown, the exact opposite of the sort of moves he should be doing. He was also heavily booed throughout the match. WWE should have realised less is more and limited Reigns' camera time. He did at least win though, kicking out of a choke slam to hit two Superman punches, on a 'Giant' who had stupidly clambered up to the top rope, and a spear. Yep, it took three finishers to put Show down.

After a reminder that Schwarzenegger is going into the Hall of Fame Seth Rollins wandered out for a bit of a chat. His entrance got more cheers than Reigns' did. He put over his performance at the Rumble, how he’d come one second away from winning the title, and how he’s broken Lesnar's rib. He issued an open challenge, waited for approximately one second, and then started bragging that nobody wanted to face him.

Ryback not ruling.

Ryback's music hit and he came out to prove Rollins wrong. J&J Security and Rollins jumped Ryback. ‘Eerie’ Erick Rowan made the save. Rollins knocked him off the apron and went back to stomping 'The Big Guy'. Ziggler came out to round things out. The heels managed to fight their way out of the ring and ran backstage. I expected this to lead to a match later in the show. It didn’t.

We were next shown a topless Kane caressing a casket in a dimly lit room somewhere in the building. He talked about ending Daniel Bryan. It was distinctly un-PG.

Match number two was the very promising Tyson Kidd v Jey Uso. Sadly they got less than three minutes, nowhere near long enough for the competitive match they could have produced. Kidd worked the leg and got the win after drop kicking the knee and hitting a fisherman’s neck breaker. This match should have had its time swapped with Reigns and Show. That would have resulted in a far more enjoyable match and Reigns looking like a juggernaut for trouncing Show.

Another shot of Kane was shown with the casket. This time he didn't say anything. He just gazed into the casket. Maybe he was thinking about Katie Vick?

Rusev and Lana rocked up for a promo as the first hour drew to a close. Speaking English, Rusev said he should have won the Rumble. Even though he was thrown out easily and Reigns never got put over the top rope. Weak argument, bro. He said he deserved Lesnar but he was being given a man with no titles, hunger or desire, a man from the past, John Cena.

Naturally these words brought Cena out to the ring. Cena half-heartedly put over Rusev's accomplishments then vigorously talked himself up before challenging Rusev to fight him then and there. Rusev was up for it. Lana told him not to waste his time. He listened to her and they left the ring. The crowd booed. Cena made a gag about Lana being a ho and said he'd defeat Rusev at Fast Lane. But he would say that wouldn't he.

I'm not liking Rusev's chances.

There’s time to make the Rusev v Cena feud great but their early interactions haven’t filled me with confidence. Cena doesn’t seem to want to treat Rusev seriously. If he doesn’t then he’ll undo a year of good work building Rusev up as a credible upper mid-card heel and tank his chances of progressing further. The progression would help the company as a whole but create competition for Cena. It’s worth remembering that.

Paige spoke to Renee Young about her Divas championship match at Fast Lane. She was immediately interrupted by the Bellas. They made comments about Paige's skin tone, comparing her to snow and vampires. Paige laughed then elbowed Brie. The Bellas ended the segment on top, Nikki posing with her belt like she was in the ring.

The Ascension had a picture in picture promo as they headed to the ring for their match against Goldust and Stardust. Konnor called the New Age Outlaws D-geriatrics (because they were in D-Generation X, geddit?) and Viktor called Goldust "Oldust". Great stuff. The writing team really earned their money with this stellar material. It was a standard issue tag match. Stardust was pinned with The Fall of Man after tagging himself in against Goldust's better judgement.

Kane was again shown with the casket. Smoke had appeared in the room since he was last shown. He laughed (maybe because of the smoke?) then slammed the casket shut.

It wasn’t main event time quite yet. A backstage promoting a Syfy show about magic had to take place first. Alicia Fox, Zack Ryder, Summer Rae, and R-Truth were shown marking out over a magician from said Syfy magic show. He took a bite out of an Oreo cookie appear (product placement much?) and then made a whole one appear. Everyone was amazed by this.

Miz and Mizdow showed up. The magician lad said he'd always wanted to do a "trick" (ermmmmmm... real magicians call them illusions) with an A-lister. Miz fawned before the guy revealed he was talking about Mizdow, who broke character to shake his hand. The guy taught Miz a trick. Mizdow mimed Miz’s hand movements. The magician ended up cracking an egg he'd made appear on Miz's face, to prove it was real. It was as funny as you'd expect. In other words, not at all (except for Mizdow's miming).

In a darkened room Bray Wyatt asked what made people happy. He revealed that he's happy doing things most people aren't. He also mentioned smiles. It was even more pointless than the magic skit.

Budget cuts meant that there were no crew to set up the casket for the casket match. Kane had to  wheel it out and put it in place before Bryan's entrance. Poor old Kane, always getting lumbered with the unglamorous jobs. And, for that matter, the jobs.

They had the best match possible considering the crummy gimmick they were lumbered with and the over familiarity of their pairing together. The final three minutes were very good. Bryan slipped out of a Tombstone piledriver on the apron and hit several charging drop kicks, wobbling 'The Demon' over the coffin before getting thrown to the mat with a choke slam. ‘The Big Red Machine’ rolled Bryan into the casket and leant across him to close the lid. Bryan applied the Yes Lock and worked Kane into the casket and himself onto the apron. He tried closing the thing but Kane fought out and back into the ring where they ran through Tombstone, Yes Lock and choke slam attempts before D-Bry yanked down the top rope and a charging Kane wound up on the apron. A roundhouse kick dizzied him and a running knee sent him sprawling back into the casket, slamming the lid closed to win.

He's beaten Kane on SmackDown but what will he do at WrestleMania?

Bryan stood on the casket celebrating for two minutes before the show ended. It was a long time to celebrate, but for some reason the decision had been made for Michael Cole to yammer away about Triple H’s promise to address the imaginary controversy on RAW as the show closed. Bryan had to hang about because of that. Still, there are worse ways to close a show.

For the most part this SmackDown was decent. I’m concerned about the way WWE are choosing to use Reigns though. Having him win the Rumble is one thing, putting him in lengthy singles matches on TV is another. It doesn’t play to his strengths and it’s going to do nothing to dissipate the hostility towards him. Having him blitz people inside three minutes is the way to go. Something tells me they’re not going to learn that though.

WWE Royal Rumble 2015 review

For the last few years WWE has struggled with its Royal Rumble shows. The titular gimmick match, which is always the central attraction no matter what else is on the show, has seemingly become a problem for them. In theory it’s an easy match to get right. You ascertain who the audience wants to see win and you have them win. Or you pick a hot heel that people really don’t want to see win. WWE’s booking crew seem to have forgotten this, which has led to a string of limp, uninspiring matches.

This year was no different. A man neither the live crowd nor the home audience really wanted to see win was the man that won. Not only that but he did so in the most underwhelming, clichéd manner possible. It was a poor end to a poor pay-per-view.

This was not helped by a generic undercard. The show kicked off with The Ascension versus the New Age Outlaws. It wasn’t a bad match, but that in itself made it a slight disappointment. The Outlaws should have been very quickly squashed by Konor and Viktor in an attempt to erase the memory of the Kliq and the APA, all of whom are well into their forties, easily dispatching The Ascension on RAW. Because it’s The Ascension who are going to be of more benefit to WWE in the future, not the stars form the 90s.

Facepaint.

But we didn’t get that. Instead we got a competent match that ended with Billy Gunn tagging in to take Total Elimina- sorry, I mean The Fall of Man. It was the right result but the wrong route was taken to get to it.

Because the card only had five matches it was heavily padded. The first instance of this was the deluge of ads that followed The Ascension’s victory. Mixed in with that was news that Vince McMahon had tweeted about Rock being in Philadelphia, the city hosting the Rumble. We were also treated to Triple H and Stephanie McMahon discussing Sting. They were concerned he’d get into the building again. Then Paul Heyman rocked up and told them that the solution to their Sting problem was Brock Lesnar. Nothing came of this on the rest of the show so presumably it was setting something up for the future.

The tag team title match went on second. The Miz’s music got a raucous cheer from the crowd. Miz himself was booed while Damien Mizdow, his bearded, super-over stunt double, got a massive cheer. The Usos were met with indifference, although people did get into their little cheering gimmick.

The match was similar to the one they had at TLC, only here Mizdow didn’t get to tag in at all. He spent the early minutes hamming around, mimicking ‘The A-Lister’ and being adored for it. After a while the seriousness of the situation got to him and he asked Miz to tag him in, reminding him it was for the titles. Miz teased that he would but pulled his hand away at the last minute, his ego demanding that he and he alone regain the straps.

It wouldn’t work out for him. Moments later Miz would hit Jey with the Skull Crushing Finale only for the champion to kick out. A “Mizdow!” chant rang out through the arena as Miz ran into a super kick from Jey and then got splashed. The humiliation continued for him when Mizdow snuck into the ring and hit Jey with an SCF of his own, which Jey again kicked out of.

Mizdow slumped down at ringside in disbelief. Back in the ring Jimmy reappeared (he’s been inexplicably absent for several minutes) and gave Miz a splash from the top rope after Jey had sunset bombed him from the corner. That was enough to put The Miz down for a three count.

Mizdow made no effort to break the pin up and mimicked ‘The Awesome One’s’ annoyance with him after the match. It wasn’t a bad match but it was the relationship between Miz and Mizdow that was the focus rather than the action. That’s not a bad thing but it would have been nice, two matches into a five match show, to have had a match where the action was the focus.

Theoretically the Divas tag match fit that description. In practice though it was something approaching a wreck. It started off looking promising, with Paige and Natalya making lots of swift tags and working over Brie. It didn’t last though. Eventually the Bellas turned the tables and isolated Natalya. She spent several minutes working towards and just before she got it Brie yanked Paige form the apron, leaving Natalya to take a match-winning forearm from the face from Nikki.

After comments from Roman Reigns, Stardust, Goldust, Rusev, Miz and Mizdow (who again teased dissension), Big Show (who bizarrely claimed he's not mortal), Fandango, and Daniel Bryan about their Rumble-winning plans it was time for the WWE championship match. The first three matches had been mostly inoffensive and forgettable. This was one of two matches people were expectign big things from, and they got them. It was the highlight of the show.

Early contender for WWE match of 2015.

John Cena got massive heat when he entered first. That was understandable. The smart fan-filled crowd was never going to give him an easy time. Seth Rollins got a pop, because he’s someone that sort of crowd appreciates. But it was defending champion Brock Lesnar, alongside Philadelphia legend Paul Heyman, who got the biggest reaction of the three.

Seth slipped out of ring as soon as the match began. Lesnar simply set to work German suplexing Cena. After a few seconds Rollins saw an opening and returned. He was instantly grabbed for a German suplex but J&J saved him. That came at a price though: they were left open to Lesnar, who easily hoisted both of them up for a double German suplex. The next several minutes were a haze of German suplexes from the champion to both of his challengers. The crowd ate it up.

Lesnar eventually tired of the suplexes and slapped a kimura on Cena instead. Cena made it to his knees and then to his feet before Rollins broke the hold up with a knee to Lesnar's head. Rollins kicked at Lesnar, then Cena joined him to hit a double suplex on the champ. Cena followed up with an AA and Rollins stole the cover. Lesnar kicked out at one.

The challengers briefly took out Lesnar by drop kicking him into the ring steps. Back in the ring Cena hit his belly-to-back suplex and went for the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Lesnar grabbed him for a German suplex before he could finish the taunt. Rollins broke up an attempted rolling German suplex with a super kick then kneed Lesnar in the back of the head to send him tumbling from the ring. Then one of those rare instances of Cena debuting a new move occurred. In this case Rollins turned round to take a Michinoku driver, the most stolen move of the 90s. Maybe he could start using it regularly and call it the Cena driver.

Rollins got a Blockbuster on Cena (and I was left disappointed that JBL didn’t namecheck Buff Bagwell). The subsequent pin attempt was broken up by Lesnar. Cena dropped ‘The Pain’ with a clothesline then got pulled out of the ring by Rollins, who springboarded back into the ring looking for a knee to Lesnar's head but got caught and F5ed. Cena broke up that cover to keep the match alive.

Lesnar German suplexed Cena then left the ring to pull apart the Spanish announce desk. When he returned to grab Cena he was blasted with three AAs in quick succession. Rollins pulled Cena off the cover but it didn't matter because Lesnar kicked out anyway. Rollins gave the champion a Curb Stomp, which Lesnar took really well, and Cena broke the cover up. Again it didn’t matter because Lesnar was kicking out.

Lesnar left the ring to recover. Cena followed him out and speared him through the crowd barrier into the timekeeper’s area, then pulled him back to his feet and threw him into the ring steps before smacking him in the head with them, sending Lesnar sprawling onto the Spanish announce table. A Rollins baseball slide wiped out Cena, who then hit a perfect elbow from the top rope onto Lesnar, bouncing off of him as he crushed him through the table.

Cena grabbed Rollins and put him back in the ring. Rollins surprised him with a small package for two. A super kick earned him another. Cena came back with an AA attempt. Rollins landed on his feet but then ran into a pop-up power bomb. Rollins kicked out and fired back with a buckle bomb. He attempted a Curb Stomp but Cena avoided it, latching onto his leg and pulling him down into an STF. J&J broke that up and helped Rollins hit a Shield bomb.

At this point a stretcher arrived for Lesnar and Michael Cole told us the champion may have suffered a broken rib. The inclusion of such an overplayed spot was the only negative thing about the match, but it wasn’t anywhere near bad enough to ruin it.

In the ring Rollins was handed his briefcase by Noble and Mercury. He tried to lamp Cena with it but was instead sent over the top rope (lucky he wasn’t in the Rumble match, eh?). Cena then hit a stacked up AA on J&J. Rollins returned and ate an AA of his own but managed to kick out. Then they staggered back to their feet and traded punches before Rollins scored an enziguri and a Curb Stomp for another two count.

Realising he'd need to try something special to keep Cena down Rollins went up to the top rope and hit Cena with a phoenix splash. But before he could make a cover he was grabbed and German suplexed by a returning Lesnar. Cena got one too, sending him rolling from the ring. Another German on Rollins didn't work out because 'The Future' managed to land on his feet, grab his briefcase and wallop Lesnar with it twice. He went for a Curb Stomp to Lesnar on the case but as he came off the ropes Lesnar sprang to his feet and caught him with and F5 for a successful title defence.

The match couldn't have been better. It was perfectly constructed, avoiding the awkwardness that often plagues WWE three-ways, and everyone got to look good. Cena entered one of his best performances in months. Rollins showed he belonged and was elevated by such a strong performance and not looking out of place with two far more experienced headliners. And Lesnar's status as an unbeatable monster was, astonishingly, not only kept intact but enhanced. It kept viewers guessing and made it clear that the WWE championships and something. Basically, we don't get matches like this anywhere near enough in WWE.

And we wouldn't get one in the night’s main event. The Royal Rumble match closed the show and it's the match that really let the card as a whole down. The opening half of the match was well put together but the back half was full of mistakes. It was basically a match put together according to a booking ethic that is decades out of date. I will touch on this again below.

The Miz and R-Truth started the match off. It made a nice change for the Rumble not to begin with someone announced for the number one spot. The battle from the number one spot has become played out. I was, however, disappointed that no one on commentary acknowledged the Awesome Truth reunion.

He's no longer a Bully, he's back to being a star.

They had a spirited exchange before being joined by entrant number three, the returning Bubba Ray Dudley. He hit the bionic elbow on Miz and then hit the Whassup headbutt and the Dudley Death Drop with R-Truth in the role of Devon. Bubba then eliminated both Miz and Truth as like Harper wandered out.

They traded some big lad moves before being joined by Royal Rumble debutant Bray Wyatt. Harper and Wyatt teamed up on Bubba as the crowd chanted for Devon. Instead they got a Bubba elimination. Bray and Harper exchanged words and then stepped apart, seemingly agreeing to work together.

Curtis Axel got attacked by Erick Rowan as he posed in the aisle. The commentary team made it very clear that Rowan was not an official entrant but Axel never made it to the ring and was never mentioned again. It’s also worth pointing out that Rowan exited the match over the top rope. It was a confusing move. If Rowan stole the spot that should have been made clear. If he didn’t then we should have been told why Axel didn’t make it to the ring.

Harper and Rowan agreed to go after Bray together (which got a loud response from the fans) but Harper turned on Rowan and sided with Bray. Both former henchmen would end up eliminated seconds later as they slumped themselves over the top rope and Wyatt simply tipped them out. ‘The Man of 1,000 Truths’ then stood in the middle of the ring and roared that it was his year. The crowd approved.  

The Boogeyman, Sin Cara and Zack Ryder all made their way into the ring. Each was quickly eliminated by 'The Eater of Worlds'. Number ten fared better. Because it was Daniel Bryan. The crowd erupted into a “Yes!” chant when he entered. He hit Wyatt with a clothesline, four corner drop kicks, smashed him with some kicks and then a top rope hurricanrana, all to a very loud response.

Fandango, Tyson Kidd and Stardust joined the fray. Kidd was quickly eliminated by D-Bry. Number fourteen was Diamond Dallas Page. He started hitting Diamond Cutters almost immediately. Stardust got one as he tried a scoop slam. Fandango was given one off the turnbuckle following a failed top rope leg drop. Wyatt found a haymaker ducked before he took his. The crowd loved it. It may not be a bad idea to look at booking Orton this way whenever he bothers to show back up.

Still a crazy over move after nearly twenty years.

Rusev entered at number fifteen. DDP tried a Diamond Cutter on him but Rusev shoved him off and threw him out, quickly doing the same to Fandango. His faceoff with Wyatt was cut short by a drop kick from Daniel Bryan, who followed up with kicks to both men. Seconds later the match hit its turning point when Daniel Bryan was thrown over the top rope by ‘The Super Athlete’. He landed on the apron but that wasn't enough to save him: Wyatt charged in and knocked him off, officially eliminating him from the match.

This decision baffles me. This was Bryan's return to pay-per-view and his first Rumble in two years after being omitted last year despite being the company's hottest act. The people wanted to see him win the match. I understand WWE wanting to go with someone else but if the paying audience is so clearly invested in someone you’re not booking to win it’s a good idea to keep them in the match for as long as possible so the crowd can enjoy themselves. I'm sure the argument against keeping Bryan in until the end would be that it would detract from support for a certain other "babyface" entrant. But any babyface that wasn't D-Bry was going to face a tough time with the Philadelphia crowd once he’d been eliminated. WWE should have known that, embraced it, and kept Bryan in looking like a contender until much closer to the end of the match. It's what people wanted and it would have made the match far more interesting.

Goldust entered at sixteen. Stardust tried to eliminate him as he went for Shattered Dreams but Goldy kept his feet off the floor and returned to give him a slap. The audience’s response to that and the generic action that followed was to boo and chant for Daniel Bryan. 

Kofi Kingston headed in at seventeen (to hefty boos) and got his annual clever elimination evasion spot shortly afterwards: this year he was thrown over the top rope and landed on the Rosebuds, who were at ringside for Adam Rose’s entrance. Rose looked miffed at this as he entered and got lobbed straight out by 'The Bulgarian Brute'. Kofi followed within seconds.

The boos really intensified when Roman Reigns entered at nineteen, very probably because they could sense what was coming. He got in shots on everyone before eliminating Goldust and Stardust. Big E also got a frosty reception for not being Daniel Bryan. Mizdow did much better, bringing many in the crowd to their feet. He was interrupted by Miz, who told him he was taking his spot. When he was immediately pie-faced off the apron by Reigns Mizdow reconsidered (egged on by frantic fans at ringside) and entered the match. He got in moves on Bray and Big E before being eliminated by Rusev, at which point he went back to mimicking an irate Miz.

Jack Swagger, Ryback and Kane entered at twenty-two, -three and -four and did nothing of interest bar triggering a "CM Punk!" chant (you get one guess at whose entry got that). Dean Ambrose came in at twenty-five and immediately became the crowd's favourite. Titus O'Neil followed him in, immediately getting eliminated by Reigns and Ambrose. It was meant to become a new quickest ever elimination but Titus somehow botched gravity and lasted longer than the current record of four seconds.

Lucky number twenty-seven went to Intercontinental champ Bad News Barrett, followed by Cesaro at twenty-nine. Rusev eliminated Big E with a drop kick before Big Show came in at twenty-nine. A gaggle of guys swarmed him but he shrugged them off with power. He quickly formed an alliance with Kane and they threw out out Ryback and Swags. The final man in was Dolph Ziggler. He immediately swatted Kane, Show and Bray with super kicks, hit the giants with a double DDT, and eliminated BNB with a super kick.

Cesaro grabbed Ziggler for a Big Swing then threw him onto the apron. Ziggler pulled him out and super kicked him to the floor. He returned to the ring only to take a KO punch from Show. ‘The Giant’ and ‘The Big Red machine’ then poured him (yeah, poured him) out of the ring. Kane was set up for a Sister Abigail by Wyatt but Show saved him with another KO punch and they threw him out too.

A dreadfully booked finish.

That left Big Show and Kane on one side of the ring with Reigns and Ambrose on the other. Rusev had quietly slipped out of the ring in order to do a surprise return later. The Shield lads escaped choke slams and worked together to topple ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’. Their attempt at tossing him out didn't work and they ended up getting battered by the large lads. Ambrose took a choke slam from Show and then got tossed out, leaving just Reigns and the giants.

It was a scenario which stank of Vince McMahon. The crowd realised this and chanted “Bullshit!” Cole covered the lax booking by saying they were unhappy about Bryan and Ambrose being gone. That was true, but the problem was far deeper than that. It had become clear Reigns was going to win, and not just win but do so via the 80s cliché of toppling giants. Giants who, as Michael Cole ham-fistedly reminded us, were very accomplished Rumble performers.

Show tried to eliminate Kane as they worked over Reigns, leading to a falling out. As they leaned against the ropes, looking vaguely like they were humping one another, Reigns snuck in to tip them both out. The match was announced as a victory for him even though Rusev was still knocking about (and Curtis Axel never even got in). Reigns didn’t get to celebrate for long: The Authority lads were unhappy at their treatment so they got back into the ring and gave him a double choke slam. The audience’s response was to chant for Rusev, previously one of the most reliable heels in all of wrestling.

The Rock's music hit. He stormed down to the ring, gave Kane a spinebuster and a People's Elbow then gave show a Rock Bottom after Reigns had given him a Superman punch. At that point Rusev returned. Reigns made short work of him, spearing him, pointing at the WrestleMania sign (which is a taunt that always maxes your power bar), and then simply picking him up and chucking him out.

‘The Great One’ slipped back into the ring to pose with his cousin as Triple H and Stephanie came out to scowl. This was all part of Reigns’ elevation package. He was getting the rub from The Rock and being cast as the anti-authority rebel, WWE’s favourite trope, by being the object of Tripper and Steph’s displeasure.

It didn’t work. Reigns was subjected to heavy boos as he posed the show off the air.

It was a dreadful Royal Rumble, characterising everything that’s wrong with WWE in 2015. They want people to pay for the Network and live event tickets and all the rest of it but they don't want to push the people fans want to see pushed. I'm not complaining about Reigns’ win here. It wasn’t ideal but I expected it and, more to the point we’ve only seen the beginning of the story with his victory. But Bryan could have lasted far longer and gone out in a far more impressive manner than he did. The same goes for Ziggler, Wyatt and Ambrose. The latter two were sacrificed to Show and Kane to make them look good for when Reigns Hulked up and tipped them out.

Reigns. One of life's winners.

WWE don’t seem to get how to book for a modern audience. Reigns' initial victory was earned by him sneakily tipping two big fellas out as they humped on the ropes. Where's the dynamism in that? He should have been Superman punching them over the top rope to the ground. If Kane and Show can't take that bump forget 'em, they shouldn't be there.

A Philadelphia crowd was always going to boo this version of Roman Reigns. He’s a typical WWE babyface. That’s what Philadelphia does to them. But I think they would have been happier had a more intense final act been crafted, heavy on young guys as opposed to men who made their Rumble debuts well over a decade ago.

As a show this could have been a far worse starting point for WrestleMania season. The undercard tag matches were inconsequential filler, which is preferable to being actively bad, while the world title match was an early Match of the Year contender. It’s the Rumble that dragged the thing down. There was a right way and a wrong way for Reigns to win. WWE went for the wrong way.

***

Results summary:

The Ascension defeated The New Age Outlaws

The Usos defeated The Miz and Damien Mizdow to retain the tag team championship

The Bellas def Paige and Natalya

Brock Lesnar defeated Seth Rollins and John Cena to retain the WWE championship

Roman Reigns last eliminated Rusev to win the 2015 Royal Rumble