Give Us More Maddox

So The Not So Great Khali has been released from his WWE contract. I think we can all agree that’s a good thing, even though it is mildly surprising he wasn’t chosen to flesh out Team Authority. Because size is everything to the people who run WWE. And if there’s one thing Khali has it’s size.

I think we can all agree this release is a good thing. Khali had a good run but he was never what you’d call good. And in addition to his general uselessness he’d had no clear creative direction for years beyond being a tall lad who liked to dance with a midget and had a thing for married woman Natalya. It wasn’t captivating stuff and nothing better was going to be sent his way.

What’s less good, but also less clear, is the status of Brad Maddox. Like Khali he was moved to the alumni section of WWE’s website on Thursday, seemingly signifying his termination from the company. But there has since been talk of that website move being part of a storyline. Which is to be hoped for because Maddox has plenty left to contribute.

His stint as RAW General Manager is probably remembered by most people reading this. It was particularly impressive because Brad took what has become a clichéd, overplayed role and did something new and interesting with it. He also became quite popular, despite being very much a weaselish heel. It demonstrated that Maddox knows how to connect with a crowd, which WWE are forever claiming is the attribute they most desire in a talent.

I’m not really sure what WWE could accomplish with Maddox in a worked shoot plot but there are plenty of roles he could fill if he were kept on the payroll and reintroduced to TV in a more traditional fashion. He strikes me as someone who could make a very entertaining colour commentator, for example. Surely he’d be a better choice for the NXT announce team than ‘The Analyst’ Alex Riley. He’s a more interesting and likeable presence with a better sense of humour. A-Ry comes across as an unlikeable infomercial salesman.

Failing that Regal could replace Riley and Brad could take over as NXT GM. It’s not that Regal’s bad in the role. He is, in fact, one of the most ideal people for it. But the Regal’s a proven quantity at the NXT announce desk and is another guy who’d be a better fit than Riley. Meanwhile Maddox is a proven force in the on-screen authority figure role and is in a position to work as more of a tweener, which is beneficial for GMs as it allows them to make rulings that benefit both heels and faces.

Let Maddox wrestle.

What I’d most like to see Maddox do is return to the main roster as an active wrestler. This is what he was originally signed for and it’s something he’s had little opportunity to do since his promotion to the main roster in August 2012. He initially portrayed a heel referee then slipped into the GM position for a year or so before disappearing from our screens in May. Bar a lone appearance on the WWE App during the October 13 RAW he’s not been seen since.

Maddox could work well in the comedy babyface role. Maybe they could give him a gimmick where he’s desperate to convince himself and everyone around him that he still has some of the power he once did as RAW GM. He could have himself announced as the General Manager of each individual match he has, as opposed to being GM of a full show. It’s not a main event character but it’s something that would set him apart and give people reason to invest in him and his character. Played for laughs it could be fun.

With or without this gimmick (let’s face it, it’ll be without) I think it would be a mistake for WWE to get rid of Brad Maddox at this point. I hope news of his departure turns out to be incorrect. Because the guy deserves a chance to succeed. And because he’s better than Alex Riley.

Needs More Nash

You know what wrestling needs? Another Kevin Nash.

'Big Sexy' may not have been the greatest wrestler ever but he didn't need to be. He was a Big Man, and rules for Big Men are different to the rules for average guys or small guys. It is, for better or worse, how wrestling works. In fairness he wasn't the best Big Man to ever step into the ring either. But he had other desirable attributes that made up (and still do) for that.

They didn't call him 'Big Daddy Cool' for nothing.

The best thing about Nash is his sense of humour. It got out of control in WCW (even before he was put in charge of the creative team and could book himself to participate in all the nonsense segments he wanted) but during his initial run in the WWF it was pitched perfectly. Nash knew when and how to crack a joke to get crowds on side, and when and how to incorporate the funnies into a match. For a guy who spent his (short) prime years in the main event that was a useful tool. It’s one very few current guys have.

Nash is also a riot on pretty much any shoot interview you care to pick. Although that's at least partly down to a healthy supply of wine and the fact that the basic concept plays to his strengths. The shoot interview premise could actually have been created specifically for 'Big Daddy Cool' it's such a good fit.

The other significant thing that often gets overlooked about Nash is that he knew how a larger guy should act in wrestling. The closest names we have to Nash today are The Great Khali and Big Show. Part of the problem with Khali is that his body has been near enough destroyed but even if he were healthy it's clear from even his "best" (I use that term loosely) performances that he doesn't possess that aptitude for wrestling that Nash does and did in his prime.

Show’s better. He can be far more sympathetic than Big Kev ever was (mostly attributable to his ability to cry on cue) and is a funny and witty fella in his own right. But he can’t compare to Nash Prime’s athletic credentials.

Nash’s psychology and selling were solid and, most importantly, he knew how to make a match opposite a smaller man convincing. There’s nobody of his size who can put on as enjoyable a performance these days. Even with talented rosters in various promotions there's nobody who has the height and skill of Nash in his prime.

Wrestling needs someone like that. As great as it is to watch technical, fast-paced matches between smaller, athletic guys the wrestling business needs big dudes. The genre thrives on variety and spectacle, and nothing provides that better than a big lad. And the best big lads can draw people in and move at a lick that bely their size. WWE should start scouring the basketball courts.

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 16

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 16 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

In this episode Michael and I talk about the potential that a wrestling edition of Big Brother holds. Well, I say we chat about it but that’s not strictly true. I had to spend several minutes selling him on the idea of this hypothetical concept and explaining bits and pieces about Big Brother. But once that’s done and he’s warmed to the idea a little we chat about it. We discuss how the show would work, who we’d put in there and name drop the seemingly forgotten Legends’ House.

Plus there’s a JBL anecdote from Michael! If that doesn’t get you listening I don’t know what will.

 

If WWE got involved with Big Brother it'd be better than this (probably)

Real American

Anyone who's watched WWE over the last twelve months will be able to tell you that Antonio Cesaro has been a great success story. He's carved out a niche for himself as a rising star and enjoyed ring time with several of the company's top acts. Nobody gets to have competitive matches with Randy Orton, Sheamus and The Ryback unless they're being presented as something of worth.
 
The crowning achievement of Cesaro's WWE run so far is arguably his United States title reign. He won the strap on the SummerSlam pre-show, broadcast on YouTube, from comedy act Santino. Since then he's been presented as a fighting champion, working surprisingly enjoyable matches with the likes of R-Truth, Zack Ryder and Justin Gabriel.
 
He has proven himself to be a reliable wrestler and a reliable promo. Practically anyone on the roster could be put in a match with him and be made to look at least decent. He got something passable out of The Great Khali. Twice! If that doesn't prove his talent I don't know what does.

Zips are cool

 
Over the last few months Cesaro has dropped the anti-America shtick that characterised the early weeks and months of his US title run and instead started embracing the country. Coming to the ring waving Old Glory and wearing trunks patterned with stars and stripes while disingenuously endorsing the US has proven a far more effective way of having fans turn on him than merely proclaiming himself (and Switzerland) better would in 2013. It's been a smart, enjoyable move.
 
I'd like to see Cesaro take things even further and begin emulating Hulk Hogan. Throughout the 80s 'The Hulkster's' chief gimmick was that of the uber-patriot. It was a clever move back then. The Cold War was still an ongoing thing and the US fans were generally happier to cheer a guy wrestling in a singlet interpretation of the national flag than they are today. It was cheap but it didn't matter. It worked.
 
Have Cesaro wrestle decked out in red and yellow tye dye trunks with a Swiss Cross or the Stars and Stripes on them. Let him keep the flag and the championship he's restored credibility to and add the Hogan pose routine to the act. Even if just for one night, say WrestleMania, I think it would be great. The heel European rubbing the embarrassing, overly-patriotic image of Hogan, a man who has since become somewhat of an embarrassment to the wrestling business in general, into the faces of fans. I can hear the boos (and ironic cheers) now.

SmackTalk 01.02.13

Rejoice, for Jack Swagger is back on WWE television!

This week’s SmackDown played host to the return of ‘The All American American’, who had been absent since last September. Swagger revealed he’d been sitting at home watching “everything”. That was probably meant to mean RAW, SmackDown, Main Event and all the pay-per-views but the way Swag delivered the line made it seem as though he had ascended to the level of omnipotent super-god and spent the last five months observing everything that transpired on the entire planet.

Swagger had been roped back onto TV by Senior Advisor to the SmackDown GM, Teddy Long. Teddy apparently felt that Swagger deserved a spot in the Elimination Chamber match Booker T was putting together, despite not actually having been seen in months. Said Chamber bout will determine who wrestles for the World Heavyweight championship at WrestleMania. It’s a high profile spot so Teddy deciding to go behind his boss’s back to bring in someone who hasn’t been seen in months is peculiar. Perhaps we had Eve wrong and it’s been Teddy who’s been scheming to get Booker’s job all along.

It's the return we've all been waiting for!

The names of the men in this match were not disclosed. Randy Orton, Sheamus, Daniel Bryan, Kane, The Great Khali, and Dolph Ziggler were all at ringside as the show began, with the Swag Man joining them later. ‘The Show Off’ said he didn’t want to be involved in the Chamber match due to having a guaranteed title shot thanks to his Money in the Bank briefcase. We were left to assume that some or all of these men would be involved in the match.

That Booker made a point of mentioning all of the men at ringside are former World champions means that could be important to his criteria, perhaps hinting that Rey Mysterio or Chris Jericho could be entered too. I hope at least one of them is. Right now it’s looking as though Sheamus will be in a six man tag team match against The Shield, leaving Orton, Bryan, Kane, Swagger and Khali to tangle inside the cage with a mystery sixth man. That’s not the most impressive line-up for an EC match ever.

The show was dedicated to giving the former World champions the chance to impress Booker T. He was easily impressed: not one of the matches we saw was anything more than average and yet Book was shown to be very excited by Khali’s effort, which was easily the worst thing on the programme.

The most noteworthy things about this episode of SmackDown was what it implied for the Elimination Chamber PPV. As the SmackDown Chamber is a non-title affair it’s safe to assume that the belt will be defended elsewhere on the show. That Alberto Del Rio’s feud with Big Show is still chugging along, coupled with the fact that ‘The Giant’ wasn’t mentioned in conjunction with the cage collision itself, makes it a safe bet that the two will face one another for the strap.

Wade Barrett attacked Bo Dallas backstage. Dallas, the rookie, had made the mistake of talking to two vaguely attractive women within sight of the IC champ. It’s looking very likely that the NXT boy will get a title shot at Elimination Chamber. A completely random guess is that Barrett will cheat to win there and Dallas will win a rematch at ‘Mania.

Meanwhile Rey Mysterio getting the pinfall win in his tag match was likely a move made to create a legitimate reason for his inclusion in the Chamber bout. He’s not been on television for months. It would seem odd even by WWE standards for him to waltz back onto TV straight into a match that could earn him a WHC shot. Well, it would if Jack swagger wasn’t being given that same opportunity without earning it…

One final thing to note about this week’s SmackDown is that it marked the end of the Rhodes Scholars tag team. I thought Sandow and Rhodes worked really well together as a unit and had a lot left to offer in the role. They had deserved a reign as the tag team champions. I assume they’ve been split in order to free Rhodes up for a WrestleMania clash with half-brother Goldust. That match could be good.

The reaction the two had when they battled at the Rumble indicates that fans want to see that match. But it shouldn’t be coming at the expense of one of the most entertaining pairings the company has had in years. There was no reason the Scholars couldn’t stay together while Cody had a singles feud. Once again the tag team division is a casual disaster of the writing team’s short attention span.

Intro video

Tweet 1: Tonight... ON SMACKDOWN!!

Tweet 2: A recap of a video shown on RAW, featuring huge stars Paul Heyman AND Brad Maddox!!
Tweet 3: And… Alberto Del Rio, stealing gimmicks from the late Eddie Guerrero!

Alberto Del Rio stands in a car park

Tweet 4: ADR's wearing jeans and not wrestling gear! He means business.

Booker T promo, featuring… lots of people

Tweet 5: Booker and the (SmackDown) main event crew are in the ring. Also present are Senior Playa Teddy Long and The Great Khali.

Tweet 6: Elimination Chambers are, in the words of Booker T, spectacular.
Tweet 7: Jack Swagger! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! YES!!
Tweet 8: He's got a mic! This should be... spectacular.
Tweet 9: Swagger left RAW in disgust at his misuse last year. What's he done to reinvent himself? Grown a rubbish beard and slicked his hair.
Tweet 10: Ziggler don't want NO part of the EC. No, sir.

He has a briefcase, there's no need for a Chamber ticket here

Tweet 11: "The champ, he's in a real bad mood" - Booker T, who has clearly seen what Del Rio's wearing
Tweet 12: To get into the Chamber you need to "impress" Teddy and Booker. No criteria were mentioned. Presumably you win. What else?

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara v Team Hell No

Tweet 13: Who is this child? Oh, it's Rey.

Tweet 14: What happened to Cara's special lighting?
Tweet 15: "He will bewilder and befuddle his opponents" - Josh Mathews on Rey Mysterio
Tweet 16: I like Sin Cara's outfit more than his regular bland attire.
Tweet 17: I also like Booker including Sheamus and Khali in his conglomeration of champions and omitting Mysterio and Jericho.
Tweet 18: That's what we need from a WWE General Manager.
Tweet 19: Meanwhile we have a strange match going on. The face versus face dynamic isn't the problem, it's Kane's dwarfing of his foes.
Tweet 20: Going back to Cara's outfit: it puts me in mind of a newt. A sinister newt.
Tweet 21: Kane being so much larger than everyone else in this match is jarring. I can't get passed it. He should be a heel here. But he's not...

A goat versus a newt

Tweet 22: Great exchange between Mysterio and Dragon there. They deserve a singles match on pay-per-view.
Tweet 23: Josh has fallen into the JR habit of loudly saying a wrestler's name in place of actually saying what’s happening.
Tweet 24: The role of WWE announcers is not to call matches anymore. It is to comment wryly on the insanity taking place before them.
Tweet 25: "I've never seen Rey Mysterio look better" - JBL, who clearly isn't familiar with Rey's work

The Great Khali v Jinder Mahal

Tweet 26: THE GREAT KHALI CAN'T EVEN WALK CONVINCINGLY!

Tweet 27: It's the long awaited resumption of the Khali v Jinder Mahal feud! I'm astounded this wasn't kept for WrestleMania.
Tweet 28: Jinder should grow in a 'tache. It would fit his low card role well. Probably get him heat with Cody though.
Tweet 29: Khali literally has no idea what he's doing. He looks like he's trying to take flight.
Tweet 30: Why are they on TV every week? WHY?!

Booker T, Teddy Long and the Rhodes Scholars backstage

Tweet 31: BOOKER WAS IMPRESSED BY KHALI'S GREATNESS!!

Tweet 32: Teddy Long had the idea to bring back Swagger. There is a reason he's kept around after all.
Tweet 33: Damien Sandow quoting Albert Camus there.
Tweet 34: No more Rhodes Scholars? Dreadful decision. Dreadful.

Sheamus v Damien Sandow

Tweet 35: Sheamus comes out. He looks like a bleached pumpkin with terrible facial hair.

Tweet 36: I'm a big fan of Sandow but even he can't make me interested in a Sheamus match.
Tweet 37: Sheamus's matches consist of punches and kicks, punctuated by the occasional knee and his tedious ten punch spot. There's no charisma.
Tweet 38: But what Sheamus lacks in the charisma department The Shield make up for. Well, Ambrose and Rollins do. I'm not convinced about Reigns yet.
Tweet 39: The crowd are chanting for Ryback. There's no sign of him. Perhaps he doesn't like Sheamus. Or Irish people in general.
Tweet 40: Nobody helped Sheamus. He is staggeringly unpopular even in the locker room.

Randy Orton v Wade Barrett

Tweet 41: BARRETT RING COAT ALERT!!

Tweet 42: Bo Dallas is another guy from NXT that I'm not particularly keen on. He has the hair and entrance music of a nondescript indy guy.
Tweet 43: Wade Barrett elbows a steel ring post. Nothing is broken. Why? Because he's a WRESTLER, dammit!
Tweet 44: Barrett loses clean to the RKO. I suspect that rumour about Orton turning heel because of a clean loss to Barrett on RAW was and is rubbish.

Matt Striker interviews Bo Dallas

Tweet 45: Here's respected journalist Matt Striker, looking to uncover the truth regarding Barrett's thoughts and emotions.

Tweet 46: Turns out Barrett's still pretty angry about Bo Dallas.

Jack Swagger v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 47: Jack Swagger has retired the push-ups and "crossing the line" spots from his ring entrance. He's retained the face slapping though, natch.

Tweet 48: Swagger's hair, when ruffled, makes him look like a manic rabbit.
Tweet 49: JBL thinks this average match against a mid-card wrestler is a great showing for Swagger. He is completely and utterly wrong.
Tweet 50: Swagger wins with the ankle lock. Somewhere in Florida Kurt Angle has a fit.

Alberto Del Rio attacks Big Show in a car park

Tweet 51: Why is Big Show arriving at the show twenty minutes before it finishes?
Tweet 52: Big Show is seven feet tall and weighs nearly 500 pounds. He is standing on a car. Is this a comedy segment?

Lovely bit of comedy selling from Big Show there

Tweet 53: Show escaped the psychotic World champ by stealing a car. Still no idea why he showed up.
Tweet 54: Why are ADR and Ricardo talking to each other in English?

Alberto Del Rio v Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 55: No Ricardo Rodriguez to introduce Del Rio. We have to make do with... urgh... Lilian Garcia.

Tweet 56: Alberto Del Rio.
Tweet 57: Who wears short shorts? Big E wears short shorts.
Tweet 58: "Del Rio, the mastermind behind that superplex" - A complete sentence from Josh Mathews, who may as well just be spewing random words
Tweet 59: Fameasser!! #BadAssBillyZiggler
Tweet 60: Del Rio looks astonishingly bored. It borders on the hilarious. That's your babyface champion, folks!
Tweet 61: Ziggler taps to the cross arm breaker. Because Ziggler NEVER wins.
Tweet 62: Oh no! Big Show's back! And he's captured (yes, captured) Ricardo Rodriguez!
Tweet 63: Ricardo has been lamped again.
Tweet 64: The show goes off the air with ADR asking an unconcious man to speak to him. It is a low point.

SmackTalk 16.11.12

This week's episode of SmackDown was the best in quite a while. It made a nice change to the inadequate, shoddy and boring show it's morphed into over the last few months.
 
There were a couple of things that contributed to this being an above average entry. First and foremost was WWE's decision to feature a wider variety of stars. Damien Sandow, Team Hell No and Dolph Ziggler have all been noticeable by their absence on the blue brand recently. They're the guys who need more exposure. They should be on every week.
 
The show long story was a good move too. It meant there was hype for the Team Foley versus Team Ziggler clash at tomorrow's Survivor Series and also meant there was a logical reason for most of the matches that were taking place. Usually I'm not fussed about matches having a reason to happen, because you'd expect wrestling matches to take place on a wrestling show, but it does help to occasionally have a linking theme.
 
Damien Sandow and Kofi Kingston put together a tidy opener. Hopefully 'The Intellectual Saviour's' victory will lead to a championship match in the future. Randy Orton and The Miz v Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler ranged from okay to very good depending on who was in the ring. ADR tended to slow the match down and create crowd disinterest while The Miz's trademark moves got a great reaction from his hometown fans once the bout got going. He'd struggled to gain cheers earlier in the evening but after seeing him wrestle as a babyface I'm confident the turn will work out for the best.
 
The tag bout ended with 'The Awesome One' tagging himself in and getting the win with a Skull Crushing Finale (a move that needs a status boost if it's to function as a finisher for a featured good guy). This irked 'The Apex Predator' who responded by hitting Miz with an RKO.

Hopefully this is an indicator of how Miz will behave as a face. If he remains a glory-seeking, self-aggrandising braggart he will be different to every other WWE guy in a similar spot but should still get over. Fans already love his catchphrases and the same approach (weekly boasts about being the best) were standard from Rob Van Dam when he became a good guy in ECW in the late 90s.
 
It would be nice if this was the beginning of a rivalry between Miz and 'The Viper'. 'The Most Must-See WWE Superstar' would benefit from working with a reinvigorated Orton and it would be a fresh programme for fans (they've feuded before but never with this heel-face situation). Hopefully the story will be progressed at Survivor Series. Maybe Miz's glory-hunting will result in Orton getting pinned and he'll retaliate with another RKO, signalling a heel turn and a new feud. 
 
Finally there was a brief tussle between Kane and Wade Barrett. Barrett's teammates quickly ran out to cause a DQ before Team Foley made the save and a low key brawl gave us our final teaser for the traditional Survivor Series match.
 
Elsewhere on the show the remaining core roster Divas clashed in a six woman tag. The girls got more time than usual and were far better than I expected. Kaitlyn won with a reverse DDT to keep her looking strong for her title challenge on Sunday. Had she had a couple more matches over the last few weeks and won them all with that move then it could have been established as a potential finisher. Something to bear in mind for the future, that.
 
Antonio Cesaro defeated Sin Cara with ease in match number five. R-Truth was on commentary and there was a standard exchange between the two after 'The Swiss Superman' got his win. They're having a decent feud considering how little is made of the prize they're fighting over.
 
Unfortunately the main event was a letdown. The Great Khali returned from weeks of absence to face World champ the Big Show. 'The World's Most Rotund Athlete' won with a WMD. 'The Punjabi Playboy' rolled around after absorbing the blow and was clearly conscious as Josh Mathews and JBL talked about how he was out cold. It was ridiculous.
 
After the match Show sauntered backstage to be battered by Sheamus. This was the climax to the episode's other story, which had seen 'Great White' challenging Show to a fight in the car park. Booker T had inexplicably stopped this occurring (babyface authority figures aiding heels never makes sense). Sheamus got his own way in the end and looked like a cheap shot artist in doing so. Still, at least it was done to build up the WHC clash at Survivor Series. It wasn't completely pointless.
 
More of this approach to writing SmackDown please, WWE. Only next time give us more Daniel Bryan.

Intro video

Tweet 1: Forget Children in Need, Friday night is SmackDown night!

Tweet 2: Recaps. It's all about seven minute recaps.
Tweet 3: Big Show holding the belt over his head is definitely going to keep peopel tuning in.

Miz TV, featuring Team Foley and Team Ziggler

Tweet 4: Crowd seems dead for Miz. Not a great sign for that face turn...

Tweet 5: I like the "Miz is awesome" chants. Always have. TNA wishes they had him.
Tweet 6: Foley needs to drop this lack of dress sense gimmick.
Tweet 7: Foley looks like Lou Albano.
Tweet 8: Charles Dickens reference. That'll go down well with wrestling fans.
Tweet 9: Orton's expression is one of utter disdain for this entire storyline.
Tweet 10: This segment is awful. Absolutely awful.

Nice little shot of Team Foley, no?

Tweet 11: I'm pleased Miz is calling Kofi out on his cheap shot last week. What sort of babyface turns down a handshake?
Tweet 12: No Cody Rhodes for Survivor Series. How about giving his spot to Ricardo?
Tweet 13: Alberto Del Rio doesn't like Dolph Siggler.
Tweet 14: "You have a braided neon mute who now claims he has the ability to fly" - Damien Sandow
Tweet 15: So we don't get to see a Daniel Bryan match even though he is the most talented of the nine wrestlers? Brilliant. Thanks, Mick.

Damien Sandow v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 16: Crisp arm drags. Steamboat's beaming from ear to ear in the back.

Tweet 17: I think Kofi and Roderick Strong would have a great match. Dunno what made me think that. Don't think it'll ever happen, sadly.
Tweet 18: Does that mean Sandow will get a title match at some point? He did just pin the champ.

Kaitlyn, Natalya and Layla v Alicia Fox, Aksana and Eve Torres

Tweet 19: This is literally the entire Divas division in one match. They really need to promote some NXT girls sharpish.

Tweet 20: Alicia Fox is back to being a heel again? She turns more often than Kane.
Tweet 21: Did Eve just try to do Rolling Thunder?
Tweet 22: Kaitlyn gets a sloppy pin on Alicia after a wonky reverse DDT. That proves she has a chance at winning the title you know?

Sheamus lurks in a car park

Tweet 23: Sheamus comes across as a bit simple in backstage promos.

Tweet 24: I can honestly say I don't care about Sheamus and Big Show having a fight in a car park.
Tweet 25: I'd prefer them to have a car park fight than a PPV match though. It would mean we don't have to watch them.

Randy Orton and The Miz v Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 26: Albertoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Delllllllll Riiiiioooooooooo!!

Tweet 27: I predict a face win.
Tweet 28: I want Rosa Mendes to walk to ringside and start cheering on ADR, with the commentators discussing what her motives could be.
Tweet 29: The fans have warmed up to The Miz. His face turn looks better now.
Tweet 30: Ricardo Rodriguez is about the only thing tolerable about Del Rio these days. He even makes pushing a man back into the ring entertaining.
Tweet 31: Miz's face character needs to be booked like this all the time. He should always want to be the centre of attention. Makes him different.
Tweet 32: I hope that RKO leads to a heel turn and feud with Miz for Orton.

Sheamus in-ring promo

Tweet 33: FELLAAAAAAAAA!!

Tweet 34: Sheamus doesn't like Show because Show is a bully. Aren't all heels bullies?
Tweet 35: When did Big Show arrive? Why was it not televised?! What's the point of having camera guys in the car park if they're not used?!
Tweet 36: What is Booker's problem? Why is he being such a killjoy?
Tweet 37: Don't boo Booker T, you should be booing yourselves!
Tweet 38: Sheamus should have shouted "I respect you Booker man!"

Booker T and Big Show backstage

Tweet 39: Booker backstage making a tag match there. He should've brought in Teddy for that task.

Tweet 40: Who will Big Show face in the main event? My guess: Susan Boyle.

Kane v Wade Barrett

Tweet 41: No Barrett ring coat this week. I apologise on Barrett's behalf.

Tweet 42: All the heels run in. I am having a flashback to ECW.
Tweet 43: Little fact here: Kofi Kingston has had a pay-per-view match against everyone he's in the ring with right now except Damien Sandow.
Tweet 44: Not a good fact I know.

Antonio Cesaro v Sin Cara

Tweet 45: Antonio Cesaro… Heeeey!

Tweet 46: Sin Cara remains alluring.
Tweet 47: "Right now Cesaro has his hands full" - R-Truth as Cesaro rubbed Sin cara's face into the mat

The kravat, ladies and gentlemen

Tweet 48: Maybe Lenny Henry will be facing Big Show...
Tweet 49: Sin Cara needs to understand that the audience doesn't care about him.
Tweet 50: WWE fans like to see the eyes of the men they're expected to cheer.
Tweet 51: Truth has underrated entrance music.

Big Show v The Great Khali

Tweet 52: Big Show v Bobby Davro? Big Show v Paul Burrell? Big Show v Graham Norton? Endless possibilities.

Tweet 53: Khali can't even WALK convincingly!
Tweet 54: Khali with an inept attempt at a lockup there.
Tweet 55: Why is the main event the worst match of the night?
Tweet 56: Prediction: Khali will win via moonsault.
Tweet 57: Josh claims Khali has been knocked unconcious yet he's rolling around with his eyes open clearly fine. Somebody teach him to sell.
Tweet 58: Where is Sheamus? WHERE? I want him to do a Sting-style rafters entrance.

Matt Striker practicees his Scott Hall impression

Tweet 59: JBL just referenced the Punjabi Prison match. Never a good sign...
Tweet 60: And we finally get to see Sheamus and Show brawl in a car park! Excellent.
Tweet 61: Sheamus just no-selling being thrown through glass there.

SmackTalk 02.11.12

SmackDown is on a downswing. This week’s show didn’t feature Team Hell No. It didn’t feature the Rhodes Scholars. It didn’t feature Antonio Cesaro. It didn’t feature Ryback. It did feature lashings of Big Show and Sheamus though. So that’s… something.

Not every wrestling show is going to be great. I appreciate that. Sometimes there are duff episodes and sometimes you’ll get periods where there are creatively barren runs. Downswings and upswings are part of the nature of the business and always will be.

Just because a company (or show… or brand) is going through a rough patch creatively doesn’t mean those in charge have to make things worse for themselves. That’s what WWE did on Friday’s SmackDown. The company has booked itself into a corner with the Big Show v Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio v Randy Orton feuds. They are a contributing factor to the downswing. I’m not really enjoying either but I can tolerate them because I know that they are happening in part in order to kill time before bigger and better things kick off.

Where WWE are failing to help themselves is in omitting the talent mentioned at the top from shows. SmackDown, as I have written before, should be a show used to highlight and push men and women lower down the card. John Cena and CM Punk, the promotion’s top drawers, do not appear on the blue brand. That makes it the perfect place to give others time in the spotlight.

 

The Miz looks unhappy. Maybe the state of SmackDown is getting to him too

 

The Rhodes Scholars, Ryback and Antonio Cesaro have all benefitted from exposure on SmackDown this year. They are part of the reason I watch the show. When they are left off the show in favour of a match pitting babyface R-Truth against babyface Justin Gabriel something somewhere is clearly not right. Both Gabriel and Truth deserve TV time, but not necessarily against one another. Couldn’t that segment have seen the Rhodes Scholars or Three Man Band interrupt the match, igniting a tag team encounter?

Despite knocking the Show and Sheamus rivalry above I thought the tag team main event was a good idea. It kept their rivalry alive and mixed them up with another ongoing programme. I’m always a fan of that happening. I also thought it was good to get Kofi Kingston in such a high profile spot. If a downswing in creativity is what it takes for the writing team to push a man of his ability and charisma then perhaps we should hope for them more often.

Opening

Tweet 1: Soooooo... SmackTalk?

Tweet 2: This video package about Brad Maddox and the Cena and AJ nonsense is hilariously overdramatic.
Tweet 3: Big Show sounded aroused (sexually) in his Hell in a Cell backstage promo.
Tweet 4: Was John Cena wearing one of his own T-shirts in those shots of him eating dinner with AJ?

Miz TV, featuring Sheamus, Kofi Kingston and Big Show

Tweet 5: Has Sheamus been drinking?

Tweet 6: The lighting monkeys are dropping the ball. Is it Kevin Dunn's night off?
Tweet 7: Big Show. The champ is here.
Tweet 8: Two faces and two heels are in the arena. If this segment doesn't end with Teddy Long making a tag match I'm going to be disappointed.
Tweet 9: Had Big Show walked to the ring he would have been winded. There's a reason he's never been in an Iron Man match...

Big Show and Booker T backstage

Tweet 10: Big Show appears to be unaware of the cameraman walking backwards in front of him...

Tweet 11: Does Booker wear glasses to look smart? Doesn't work.
Tweet 12: The tag match everyone knew was coming has been made. Teddy didn't make it though. Shame.

Darren Young v Sin Cara

Tweet 13: Darren Young v Sin Cara? Oh God... #botchheaven

Tweet 14: JBL saying that the PTPs have the potential to be the best tag team in the world is going to be the funniest comment of the night.
Tweet 15: Sin Cara just lost clean to Darren Young. Remember that push he got when he first arrived?
Tweet 16: I've never noticed Titus's eyes do that before. Weird stuff. Freaky-looking guy.

Are the Prime Time Players the best tag team in the world? JBL thinks they could be

Rey Mysterio v Titus O’Neil

Tweet 17: Sin Cara may have jobbed clean but Mysterio won't. He's actually worth something.

Tweet 18: 'The Big Deal' jobbed clean. That's more like it. Good work, writers. Keep it predictable.
Tweet 19: I hate Rey Mysterio anyway but I particularly hate him when he's in a tag team. It's all stupid hand signs and hugging.

Recaps of various RAW happenings

Tweet 20: They just showed that graphic of Cena and AJ at dinner. Cena was indeed wearing his Rise Above Cancer merch.

Tweet 21: Brad Maddox is confirmed for RAW! That'll get the ratings up! Lucky Birmingham.

Booker T, Teddy Long, David Otunga and Natalya backstage

Tweet 22: Teddy and Booker. Prepare for a tag match...

Tweet 23: David Otunga doesn't get anywhere near enough TV time.
Tweet 24: This new spit take gimmick could be easily dropped though. Why WWE feels the need to include weird stuff like that is beyond me.
Tweet 25: Natalya seems to be involved in said weird stuff fairly often. Perhaps she's into it...

Randy Orton v Wade Barrett

Tweet 26: BARRETT RING COAT ALERT!!

Tweet 27: I'm a BIG fan of the Barrett ring coat. And the rose. The whole gimmick package really.
Tweet 28: What's random about Josh's questions exactly?
Tweet 29: Del Rio jumps Orton. Whaddavillain!
Tweet 30: There's a girl in the front row having a fit because she touched Randy Orton. If it was the other way round there'd be a court case.
Tweet 31: JBL keeps referring to Michael Cole. I thought we were shot of that guy.
Tweet 32: Perfectly adequate second rope elbow by Barrett, there.
Tweet 33: Barrett gets a win from a rollup. He could at least have been allowed to hit the Souvenir from behind for a distraction win.
Tweet 34: I wonder if Josh will mention Show and Miz's time as tag team champions (ShowMiz). Probably not.
Tweet 35: JBL might though.

Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio have a brawl in catering

Tweet 36: "Randy Orton is not a biper" - Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 37: No! Not the catering area!
Tweet 38: This backstage food fight is ridiculous. The lack of commentary doesn't help. It's like they want us to think of it as very serious stuff.
Tweet 39: Randy Orton tries to walk through a table. #botchofthenight

David Otunga v Great Khali

Tweet 40: The Great Khali is back on SmackDown. Nobody noticed he'd gone. Nobody would have cared if they had.

Tweet 41: Khali's sabbaticals are never explained. I want to know what he gets up to when he's away from the ring.
Tweet 42: I like the idea of him tutoring underprivileged kids from rough neighbourhoods.
Tweet 43: What's David Otunga up to? Posing. Only posing.
Tweet 44: "Great Khali's hands are the size of laptops" - Josh Mathews
Tweet 45: Natalya is watching on a monitor She's happy. Because Otunga is getting beaten and he spat coffee on her earlier, you see.
Tweet 46: Yes, it's the beginning of the Otunga v Natalya feud we've all been waiting years for!

Justin Gabriel v R-Truth

Tweet 47: Gabriel versus Truth feels like an odd match. Presumably some heels will do a run-in. 3MB are my guess.

Tweet 48: Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe Undertaker will return to start a rivalry with Gabriel. That'd draw.
Tweet 49: Truth won. No idea what the point of the match was. Literally none.
Tweet 50: No heel run-in. No heel turn. No good match. That was a textbook example of a wasted segment.

Truth and Gabriel adhere to the Code of Honor

Miz and Big Show have a natter backstage

Tweet 51: Big Show is top bunk.

Tweet 52: Miz beat Josh and JBL to a mention of ShowMiz. Probably for the best...
Tweet 53: WWE should have Del Rio and Orton face one another in a Boiler Room Brawl.
Tweet 54: SmackDown's live next week? Won't it be about two in the afternoon when the show's filmed in Birmingham?
Tweet 55: The answer you're looking for is yes.

Big Show and The Miz v Kofi Kingston and Sheamus

Tweet 56: Big Show is holding the belt over his head because it won't fit around his waist.

Tweet 57: I want Show to work this match without taking the hoodie off.
Tweet 58: Big Show mat wrestling and throwing out random woooooos is brilliant. I want him to do that in every match.
Tweet 59: Charles Robinson looks like a haggard woman of 83.
Tweet 60: "Irishmen love to fight!" - JBL with a massive generalisation
Tweet 61: The heels win, ending the show on a low note. That's why they did Gabriel v Truth. It was designed as a fan pleaser.

Jinder Surprise

I’ve always been a little confused by Jinder Mahal.

Usually talent appearing on WWE programming for the first time are afforded a memorable feud or angle to give them a good start and help them make an impression on viewers. Mahal was an exception in that never received this treatment. He just started appearing, screaming and shouting at the Great Khali after matches and in backstage segments.

For a while he had ‘The Punjabi Playboy’ working for him as an enforcer of sorts, apparently based around them being brothers-in-law. It was never really explained and I was never really interested. It didn’t matter much anyway because it didn’t take long for Khali to rebel and return to his status as the fun-loving dance fiend that we all know and loathe.

By the end of 2011, just a few months after making his first appearance on WWE television, Jinder Mahal was in the position so many before him have found themselves in: wrestling meaningless matches against seemingly random opponents on Superstars. As has become the norm WWE stopped his push because he did not immediately generate huge amounts of heel heat.

Jinder Mahal slaps his devastating camel clutch finisher on Ezekiel Jackson

The last few months have seen him begin to gradually rise back up the card. He has given Ryback the most competitive matches of his 2012 run (which isn’t flattering for the former Nexus member but is great for Jinder) and was picked as the spokesman for the disgruntled band of jobbers that got flattened by Kane and the Undertaker on RAW 1000 (yes he got pummelled but at least he was on the show and was the one member of the gang chosen to speak). He’s even been given the gimmick of putting his turban in a Perspex box. That may not sound like much but it helps to set him apart from his peers.

Undoubtedly the best thing to happen to Mahal is the NXT reboot. Mahal has become a regular on the show and has benefited, along with everyone else on the programme’s roster, from the new format. He has been retooled as one of the lead heels of the league, his camel clutch finisher being given credibility by strong booking and the aid of the commentary team.

That the show is less concerned with frivolous backstage skits and more interested in giving the wrestlers ample time to show what they can do between the ropes has allowed Mahal to work some of the most satisfying matches of his WWE tenure. On SmackDown he either competes for around three minutes or works an extended angle with the likes of Ryback and loses by disqualification.

NXT has allowed him the opportunity to show that he is an accomplished grappler that knows how to elicit heat from fans and work an above average match. That’s good for him and good for fans. If he could be booked as well on the TV shows that people actually watch then Mahal could go somewhere in WWE.

SmackTalk 23.03.12

The thing that stood out most about last night’s SmackDown was how much airtime Daniel Bryan received. He not only opened the show with a promo and closed it with a match, he also accompanied AJ to ringside for her bout with Brie Bella. It’s nice to see the company getting behind and feeling confident enough in him to feature him in so many segments. I suspect he’ll be dropping the title at WrestleMania. That would usually spell the end of a push but the AJ relationship stuff is a promising sign that Bryan will continue to be a prominent part of SmackDown. That’s good. The show desperately needs him.

I’m interested in what’s being done with Miz too. It seems as though a conscious decision has been made to keep him off of the WrestleMania card and turn it into a storyline. That’s a novel approach. I imagine Miz will perform a run-in or cut a promo at the show so that he appears, but the lack of a a match is a nice angle for the character he plays. He’s dropped down the card significantly in the last year and this could help him climb back up.

Part of the problem Miz has had has been the way he’s booked. He was treated like a jobber at Survivor Series and then found his run half of the entertaining Awesome Truth cut short when R-Truth got himself suspended for a month. With hindsight Miz would have benefited from a gradual face turn late last spring. He was getting quite a few cheers and fans were chanting along to his catchphrases. Now he’s just another guy in the middle of the card.

The match quality of this week’s show was very high. I particularly enjoyed the main event. The Bryan v Sheamus exchange given me a reason to care about the World Heavyweight title match we’ll see at WrestleMania. The Ziggler v Khali match was also far more enjoyable than it had any right being thanks to ‘The Heel’s’ bumping and the booking of Khali.

Promo segment featuring Daniel Bryan, Sheamus and AJ

Tweet 1: It’s SmackDown time!
Tweet 2: Jinder Mahal's on the SmackDown opening. That makes the opening less special somehow.
Tweet 3: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Tweet 4: Bryan making AJ get him a microphone shouldn't be as funny as it is.
Tweet 5: This abusive boyfriend gimmick needs to end with AJ tapping madly to Cattle Mutilation.
Tweet 6: SmackDown opening with a promo about Daniel Bryan's soft lips. I never thought I'd live to see this. This is tremendous.
Tweet 7: "Daniel Bryan is a great lover" – AJ
Tweet 8: Sheamus walks like he's been searching desperately for a toilet for half an hour and is running out of patience.
Tweet 9: Mark Henry v R-Truth?! That'll get people watching...
Tweet 10: Introducing "Danny" as a name Daniel Bryan dislikes was a nice idea. That was a pretty good opening segment. Bryan's a great heel.

Mark Henry v R-Truth

Tweet 11: #LittleJimmy

Tweet 12: I want Mark Henry to adopt eating a child as his signature taunt.
Tweet 13: R-Truth performed a cross body block. Booker claimed it would be spectacular. He was wrong on every possible level.
Tweet 14: "That could be you! You could be next!" - Mark Henry to a burger sitting in the audience

The Yokozuna Hall of Fame video

Tweet 15: "Take a look at the girth" - Vince McMahon on Yokozuna, sounding inadvertently filthy

Tweet 16: Yokozuna's a good choice for the Hall of Fame.
Tweet 17: Last year's Hall of Fame should've had the Horsemen and Ron Simmons. It was Atlanta for crying out loud!

Backstage skit featuring Team Teddy

Tweet 18: Khali sounds retarded.
Tweet 19: Fistbumping Khali is a dangerous thing to do. He's liable to think he's being attacked and start caving in heads.
Tweet 20: So Team Teddy currently consists of Kofi Kingston, Santino, Khali and Zack Ryder. He deserves to lose.

AJ v Brie Bella

Tweet 21: AJ in the ring. We were robbed of a Bryan entrance!
Tweet 22: The Bellas. Remember when they were throwing themselves at Bryan? Reckon that'll be referenced? Doubt it.
Tweet 23: AJ using the LeBell Lock. Bryan seems unimpressed.
Tweet 24: Uh-oh, we may be heading for a Bellas break-up!!
Tweet 25: Phew! The Bellas are still together, they just disagree about who'll win the Team Johnny v Team Teddy match.
Tweet 26: I assume each team will have a Bella at ringside. Just to get everyone on the card.

Jack Swagger v Zack Ryder

Tweet 27: Vickie Guerrero. You know what that means...
Tweet 28: Oh. Apparently it means Jack Swagger. How disappointing.
Tweet 29: I'm beginning to think Booker may join Team Teddy.
Tweet 30: A menopausal woman being accosted by a midget. "Anything can happen in the WWE!"
Tweet 31: A televised win for Ryder. Shame it wasn't clean.

Zack Ryder on his way to a victory over Jack swagger in an enjoyable match

Cody Rhodes backstage interview, supposedly from earlier in the day

Tweet 32: Matt Striker has borrowed Randy Orton's beard.

Tweet 33: Cody Rhodes currently has custody of the lisp he shares with Jack Swagger.
Tweet 34: Rhodes had a plane to catch at one in the afternoon. Why did he go to the arena at all? That line made NO SENSE.
Tweet 35: Cody Rhodes has held onto the Intercontinental title for so long primarily because he never defends the thing.

Big Show v Kane

Tweet 36: Big Show v Kane. Before they got written off TV last year these two were tag champions and friends.
Tweet 37: The dissolution of that friendship has not been addressed on-screen.
Tweet 38: Sloppy double clothesline spot there...
Tweet 39: "We got a fight just broke out here, man" - Booker T on a match that had been in progress for several minutes
Tweet 40: What was the point of Cody not having a shirt on for that run-in?
Tweet 41: I couldn't care less about Orton v Kane as a feud. Brodus Clay appearing to squash a random jobber, on the other hand...

Brodus Clay v Heath Slater

Tweet 42: Funkasaurus time. It actually does not get better than this.

Tweet 43: I love the way Brodus NEVER syncs the pyro with either stamping his foot or throwing his trousers down.
Tweet 44: WHAT? Heath Slater is looking competitive against Brodus Clay? What witchcraft is this?!
Tweet 45: Brodus got the win via a "three seconds of hang time" splash according to Booker T.

From the Vault and others thoughts

Tweet 46: CM Punk v Triple H on From the Vault. It's odd to see this given the storyline the two had last year.

Tweet 47: "Triple H is basically the father of this industry right now" - Matt Striker, talking utter nonsense
Tweet 48: I am astounded Striker didn't instantly reference Arn Anderson when 'The Game' hit that spinebuster.
Tweet 49: Luke Gallows makes a spirited henchman.
Tweet 50: From the Vault goes straight to a break. Weird. Anyway... that was a good match.
Tweet 51: Eve Torres walks like one of the Thunderbirds.
Tweet 52: A video for Lord Tensai. Here's a blog to go with it!

The Great Khali v Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 53: Great Khali is an embarrassment. At least they're not showing his legs on camera so you can't see his comedic walk.
Tweet 54: Ziggler's his opponent. This may be watchable after all.
Tweet 55: This is as good as Khali is going to look. Ziggler's willing to take big bumps for him and all he's being booked to do is chop.
Tweet 56: Christian was good on commentary there too. He;s good at everything though.
Tweet 57: Random restart. #Dustybooking

Sheamus and CM Punk v Miz and Daniel Bryan

Tweet 58: How much longer is Punk going to have Cult of Personality as his entrance music? I'm guessing it'll be gone soon.
Tweet 59: New music at WrestleMania maybe?
Tweet 60: Yes! Yes! Yes! Daniel Bryan! YES!!
Tweet 61: Bryan 'Soft Lips' Danielson.
Tweet 62: Jericho doesn’t like working Tuesdays.
Tweet 63: Miz will do the job in this match, that much is obvious.
Tweet 64: Punk v Bryan. It feels as though they're going to make this a long running feud that's introduced gradually. I like that.
Tweet 65: That brief exchange between Bryan and Sheamus has made me think their 'Mania match will be pretty good even if it's short.
Tweet 66: Oh, Miz did the job. What a surprise.