The Longest Short Reign

When Daniel Bryan and Kane won the WWE tag team titles at last September's Night of Champions I didn't think I'd still be discussing their reign seven months later. As high profile wrestlers doing the feuding partners routine it seemed safe to assume that the pair would drop the gold to a more conventional combo after a short run together, going on either to resume their feud or being given something new to do. The latter of those is what I was hoping for.

Instead Bryan and Kane have continued to win as a team and keep hold of the straps long after their appeal has waned. The smart thing to do would have been introducing one or two fresh teams to the division while people were still interested in Team Hell No as a unit, leaving guys to inherit a hot and interesting division after the champs lost and split. The Rhodes Scholars were introduced but their push has been fumbled even more badly than Kane and Bryan's. They should have been the guys to replace 'The Big Red Machine' and 'The World's Toughest Vegan'.

Heyman describes Lesnar and Punk as 'The Beast' and 'The Best', epithets that are applicable here too

The Rhodes Scholars have been harmed by their ridiculous split and reunion between Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. The Prime Time Players, a team that has seemed on the cusp of winning the tag belts for a year now, have been moved away from the champions. They're wrestling just as much as they ever have but they're no longer being presented as any sort of threat to the tag titles.

Epico and Primo seem unlikely to get a win over genuine stars any time in the foreseeable future. Brodus Clay and Tensai (or Sweet T) have the size to be taken seriously, and a slightly more advantageous spot on the card than E&P, but even they seem unlikely to be the next champions.

The likeliest successors to Kane and Bryan right now appear to be Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston. Not only are they good enough wrestlers to be the champions but Ziggler's star profile gives them a very strong chance. It's status on the roster, more than anything else, that determines title reigns in WWE.

What makes a Dolph and Big E win at WrestleMania slightly least likely is the Money in the Bank briefcase. 'The Show Off' is expected to cash in at 'Mania and leave as World Heavyweight champion. Making DZ a double champion would be a great way to make him look a star and could even lead to a return of his late 2011 gimmick of working twice on each pay-per-views. Unfortunately making someone a double champion would go against WWE's current approach to championship. Having Ziggler as a tag champ could also dilute the importance of his WHC win, and the prestige of that title is getting pretty flimsy as it is.

But if it's not Langston and Ziggler that beat Team Hell No then who will?

Middle of the Road

Over the last couple of months WWE have made a noticeable effort to do something with non-main event performers. Daniel Bryan and Kane have been placed together as Team Hell No and are currently on top of the most interesting WWE tag team division in years. The Divas have enjoyed a competent storyline which, in a roundabout way, has illustrated how much the Divas title means to the performers involved.

This is very much a positive thing. Not only has it given viewers more reasons to tune in but it’s also given performers something constructive to do. When that happens there’s more chance of them getting over.

Unfortunately the mid-card singles scene has remained pretty much untouched. If the promotion is serious about wanting to create new stars then this is an area they are going to have to improve.

Main events should be populated by the most over stars. That’s logical. While a handful of men can get over enough thanks to a strong push, such as Ryback, Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio, others have to take a slower path and earn their way up the card by continually putting in solid performances and building a rapport with fans. Dolph Ziggler is a perfect example of this.

The trouble WWE has at the moment is that their main event bracket is so thin they have gotten into the habit of rushing guys to the top. They plug a gap at the top only for another to appear as one of their established stars leaves, goes part-time, or hits the injured list. That then means another guy is fast-tracked. It’s a vicious circle. The mid-card has become neglected and as such there is nowhere for those not blessed with a sustained push from the office to get themselves over.

Zack Ryder is a man who has been let down by the lack of a proper mid-card. This time last year ‘Long Island Iced Z’ was beginning to look like he could become a meaningful part of the company’s future. He teamed with WWE champion CM Punk and World Heavyweight champion Daniel Bryan in a six man tag match on the December 19^th RAW. Not just anybody gets put into that spot.

Things went bad for Ryder when he was chosen to work as cannon fodder for Kane during ‘The Big Red Monster’s’ programme with John Cena. Obliterated on a weekly basis ‘The Internet Champion’ soon found his fan base shrinking.

Had there been a functioning mid-card in place, populated by performers fans had been given a reason to care about, meaningful championships, and matches that received a decent amount of time, then Ryder could have been quickly rehabilitated. His senseless multiple jobs to ‘The Devil’s Favourite Demon’ and harmful presentation as Cena’s li’l buddy could have been erased within a month and Ryder could have gotten back on track.

 

It’s not inconceivable to think that by now Ryder could have been in a high mid-card spot, featured in a purposeful match on RAW every week, had he been treated better at the start of the year. That hasn’t happened because WWE doesn’t have the tools to help talent of his level out.

On the bright side there are signs that WWE is going to get serious about this area of their programming again. Antonio Cesaro has had some relatively lengthy title defences since winning the United States championship. Let’s not forget that he received a surprisingly rowdy response when he lifted the gold from Santino during the SummerSlam pre-show. That showed that fans will still take an interest in performers outside of the headline zone, if they are presented in the right fashion.

Kofi Kingston’s Intercontinental title victory over The Miz last month was also indicative of a renewed interest in the mid-card. Over the years ‘The Boom Squad General’ has proven to be WWE’s performer of choice when they need a babyface to fill a role outside of the main event.

 

Is he happy or in pain? I know I can't tell...

 

During the summer of last year he was placed into a tag team alongside Evan Bourne. The idea was that the two would spearhead a revival of WWE’s tag team scene, working against teams such as Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger (unofficially known as All American Perfection) and Awesome Truth. That was followed by this year’s stint alongside R-Truth, and there are numerous examples of him being tossed the Intercontinental or US title throughout his five years on the main roster.

Kingston as Intercontinental champ is a good move. He can have the mid-card division built around him, and there are plenty of opponents waiting, such as Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Tensai, Hunico, and the Three Man Band. If time is invested into giving Kofi matches and storylines that fans can believe in then the mid-card (and the IC belt too, for that matter) could be revived quickly.

Triple H, Edge, and The Rock all earned their way to the top of WWE by making themselves stand out in the mid-card to earn a promotion. Plucking successful guys from the lower ranks and hoisting them up the ranks used to be something the federation excelled at. With a little work that can be the case again.

SmackTalk 05.10.12

Because WWE have quietly dropped the concept of having two separate rosters you can never be entirely certain who you'll see on SmackDown. Surprisingly it's the headliners who WWE seem most concerned with keeping brand exclusive. CM Punk may have appeared on this week's episode but he doesn't make a habit of it. Nor does John Cena. Their SmackDown counterparts (Sheamus, Randy Orton and Alberto Del Rio) show up on RAW every week, but that's because every star of note needs to be used in order to facilitate the show's ridiculous three hour run time.
 
Beyond 'Great White', ADR, Big Show and 'The Viper' you can’t guarantee you’re going to see anyone when you tune in to the blue brand. While the show is the ideal vehicle for pushing promising acts like Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, and Ryback they’re not guaranteed to appear. Even upper mid-card guys like Daniel Bryan and The Miz aren't always on.
 
This is part of the problem SmackDown faces on a weekly basis. With less than half a dozen regular cast members there are few reasons for viewers to watch regularly. That it's used more and more to recap the events of RAW doesn't help either. If WWE made sure to include a popular guy like Ryback or Ziggler on every show they'd stand a chance of increasing their viewing numbers (and would help give talent more TV time too). Better yet, they could announce a match for Friday's show on Monday's live RAW. The goal should be to give people reasons to tune in to SmackDown each week, not just muddle through with an average show.

This week’s SmackDown was a perfect example of this stifling approach to booking and talent elevation. While CM Punk made a surprise appearance and wrestled an enjoyable (but brief) match with Dolph Ziggler the Rhodes Scholars and Antonio Cesaro were notable by their absence. They’re acts that need as much exposure as possible if they are to become members of the roster that can be depended upon for carrying the company into the future.

In other news SmackDown’s new batch of feuds currently seem underwhelming. The prospect of an extended series of matches between Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton isn’t too bad because it’s a relatively fresh pairing and there’s the chance to book ‘The Viper’ against ADR’s associates David Otunga and Ricardo Rodriguez to keep things fresh.

What’s frustrating is that Orton’s dispute with Dolph Ziggler has been dropped prematurely. ‘The Show Off’s’ rise up the ranks would have benefited from another pay-per-view outing with ‘The Apex Predator’, perhaps one in which he was allowed to win. Facing Orton is about the best thing that could happen to ADR but Friday’s segment doesn’t indicate that the feud will be enjoyable. Let’s hope their matches are better and Orton’s free to make a few sporadic appearances while filming his WWE Studios film.

The other new feud over on the blue brand is Sheamus versus Big Show. Just one week in and it’s already shaping up to be just as tiresome as ‘The Celtic Warrior’s’ ponderous dispute with Del Rio. On RAW the two participated in a Q&A session which amounted to them sniping at one another. SmackDown saw them cost each other matches against Tensai and Miz. Hardly gripping television.

The once routinely enjoyable SmackDown has fallen in terms of quality lately. I’d like to see it get back on form. For that to happen there needs to be a greater focus on giving people a reason to watch and using SmackDown as a platform to create new stars.

Big Show promo, featuring Sheamus

Tweet 1: SmackDown. Let's tweet!

Tweet 2: What's the best way to kick off a wrestling programme? It's hard to top a Big Show promo.
Tweet 3: They're showing a video of Big Show punching and choke slamming people. What it's meant to prove isn't clear.
Tweet 4: Show just referred to Cena as 'The Franchise'. Haven't heard that for a while.
Tweet 5: Big Show doesn't have time to shake hands. He has to go backstage and eat four live cows.

The Prime Time Players v Kofi Kingston and R-Truth

Tweet 6: Kofi Kingston and R-Truth enter and fans are shown walking towards the bathrooms. Not a good sign, is it?

Tweet 7: Truth shouts "What's up?" I wish the audience would reply "Not much!"
Tweet 8: Titus O'Neil is a very angry man.
Tweet 9: Darren Young and his giant knee pads are going to the semi-finals. Excellent. That should ensure Cara and Mysterio have a great match...
Tweet 10: "It's feeding time: next!" - Josh Mathews, in reference to a Ryback match

Ryback v Primo (or Epico)

Tweet 11: Josh, I don't think Ryback "literally" believes WWE is a jungle.

Tweet 12: Is Ryback squashing Epico or Primo? It doesn't matter.
Tweet 13: Ryback's finisher is called Shellshock. I don't think I've mentioned that before.

The question is: could Ryback do this to CM Punk?

CM Punk and Paul Heyman backstage

Tweet 14: CM Punk on SmackDown? I'll take that.

Tweet 15: And he's looking for Dolph Ziggler's room. Even better. Why does Dolph still have a SmackDown room? He's a RAW guy now.

Alicia Fox v Layla

Tweet 16: Layla has the most inappropriate entrance music in WWE.

Tweet 17: "Layla still fuming over losing the Divas championship" - Josh Mathews as Layla skipped, danced and smiled her way to the ring
Tweet 18: I miss Booker T's commentary.
Tweet 19: Northern Lights botchplex.
Tweet 20: Alicia Fox with a 1970s style leg submission hold there.
Tweet 21: Layla with a garbled post-match promo. Her accent flitting from British to pseudo-American didn't help.

CM Punk and Dolph Ziggler backstage

Tweet 22: Bad news: Punk and Ziggler are having an argument. Good news: Booker T is around to sort it out.

Wade Barrett v Unnamed Enhancement Talent

Tweet 23: BARRETT KLAXON.

Tweet 24: Barrett has stolen Ryback's gimmick of beating nobodies. The nobody in question has stolen a pair of Perry Saturn's trunks.

The Miz v Sheamus

Tweet 25: World champ Sheamus didn't get a televised entrance. IC champ The Miz did. Peculiar.

Tweet 26: They need to stop wittering on about this being champion versus champion. If neither title's on the line it doesn't matter.
Tweet 27: Cole just referred to Miz returning. Hasn't he been back since July?
Tweet 28: Sheamus wants to use the Brogue Kick? Isn't that banned? No, my mistake... That lasted all of five minutes.
Tweet 29: This Show v Sheamus feud is AWFUL. We have at least another four weeks of it.

David Otunga promo, featuring Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 30: "My name is David Otunga" - David Otunga

Tweet 31: Otunga is praising Alberto Del Rio for attacking Randy Orton on last week’s show. If you're not watching you're not missing much.
Tweet 32: So has Orton's feud with Ziggler ended? If so I'm disappointed. That could and should have gone for a few months.
Tweet 33: Del Rio has really gone downhill. I'm bored of him. It feels like he's done evertthing he ever will. Future endeavor him.
Tweet 34: You can tell Teddy long is storyline mentoring Booker T: a tag match was just made mid-segment.

Alberto Del Rio and David Otunga v Team Hell No

Tweet 35: ADR and Otunga seem like weird opponents for Hell No but who cares? It means we get to see Daniel Bryan. All together now...

Tweet 36: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Tweet 37: #Otungaflex
Tweet 38: Bryan needs to do the Hogan pose routine during every match.
Tweet 39: "Here comes the big red monster" - Josh Mathews, undoing his trousers
Tweet 40: Otunga's on job duty. Again.
Tweet 41: Apparently Daniel Bryan is the tag team champions...
Tweet 42: Kane disagrees.

Another week another argument between Kane and Daniel Bryan

Eve, Teddy Long, and Booker T backstage

Tweet 43: More GM related shenanigans. There are (still) troubles brewing in the Booker T administration.

Tweet 44: Booker's always talking about having business to take care of yet he never actually seems to do any work.

Tensai v Big Show

Tweet 45: It's finally time for the hotly anticipated heel versus heel match between Tensai and Big Show.

Tweet 46: Tensai: WWE's most blubbery jobber.
Tweet 47: Big Show hits his iffy-looking spear. He doesn't go for the stomach, he spears the shoulders.

Anyone else think this looks like Tensai is falling backwards on to Show?

Dolph Ziggler v CM Punk

Tweet 48: SmackDown: the home of heel versus heel matches.

Tweet 49: Punk and Ziggler are two of the best in WWE. Even with only around ten minutes I think they'll produce something enjoyable.
Tweet 50: I like the way Michael Cole says diesel.
Tweet 51: Ziggler never hits the Fameasser anymore. #BadAssBillyZiggler
Tweet 52: Punk loves standing on the announce desk to cut a promo.
Tweet 53: He's still not facing Cena at Hell in a Cell. Something tells me he'll change his mind...

SmackTalk 28.09.12

When I said Sheamus needs a fresh opponent I didn’t really mean the Big Show. Sure it makes a change from ‘The Celtic Warrior’s’ endless bouts with Alberto Del Rio but I can’t see them producing anything that could be described as a classic. Wade Barrett would have been a far better choice to oppose Sheamus for the World Heavyweight championship.

This week’s SmackDown felt like a chore to watch, partly because of the Big Show’s ascension to the lofty status of number one contender. His boring, plodding victory over Randy Orton didn’t make either man look good and did nothing to excite me for the WHC match that will take place at Hell in a Cell.

At this point the only interesting thing I think WWE could do with the situation they’ve placed themselves in is to have ‘The World Largest Athlete’ defeat Sheamus and then lose the title to a cashing-in Dolph Ziggler. That would get the title onto a wrestler who would inject something new into the stagnant headline scene and would tie in nicely to Show losing the title to Daniel Bryan moments after winning it at last year’s TLC.

There were only two good things on this week’s show. The first was the news of a tag team tournament to crown number on contenders to the WWE tag team championship, currently held by Team Hell No. WWE’s tag team division has been crying out for attention for years and it’s nice to see it finally get some. True the bout pitting Jimmy and Jey Uso against the Rhodes Scholars wasn’t a great example of tag wrestling but there’s still plenty of time for the tourney to improve.

 

Future WWE tag team champions?

 

The other good thing about the show was the Divas battle between Beth Phoenix and Natalya. ‘The Glamazon’ did everything she could to fire up her hometown crowd and they reacted to her like a genuine star. That had to be nice for Phoenix. The match was the best Divas match of 2012 and shows that if WWE gave the women lengthier matches and some basic plots fans would view them as a relevant part of the show.

The way WWE treats its female grapplers is unlikely to change anytime soon, and that’s part of the reason Beth Phoenix is leaving. Assuming she’s not convinced to stay Phoenix’s departure will be another blow to a division that is thinner than it’s been in years. On the plus side WWE seems to be going somewhere with Eve Torres as the league’s figurehead. We can only hope that the ladies get the same treatment as the tag teams have.

In conclusion I’d say that if you missed this week’s episode of SmackDown then there’s no real point catching up with it. You can find out what happened below and save an hour and a half of your life being lost.

Opening moments

Tweet 1: SmackDown. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Tweet 2: Recap of the shenanigans between Bryan and Kane, including Bryan hiding in a bin.
Tweet 3: As good as that show-long story was does it really warrant a three minute recap?
Tweet 4: Ah, wait, they finished on that shot where Kane looks like Al Bundy. It all came good in the end.
Tweet 5: "It's one of the biggest main events in SmackDown history" - Michael Cole on Randy Orton v Big Show

Big Show promo, featuring Randy Orton

Tweet 6: For the last year Big Show has been continually involved in title feuds. #worryingWWEstatistics

Tweet 7: Looks like Orton's teasing some sideburns.
Tweet 8: On Show's WMD punch: aren't closed fists illegal?
Tweet 9: Oh good, Alberto Del Rio's still in the title picture.

Santino v Antonio Cesaro for the United States championship

Tweet 10: The United States championship is every WWE fans favourite championship.

Tweet 11: Is Aksana going to be paired with Santino next? Might as well. She's got nothing else to do.
Tweet 12: Santino's singlet is a bit loose. I don't like it. I'm worried it's going to slip off. Nobody wants to see that.
Tweet 13: Maybe Jack Swagger will return as a babyface and beat Cesaro for the US title on RAW. I'm going to make that an Official Prediction.
Tweet 14: I now want Cesaro to say "winner" in five different languages.
Tweet 15: Has anybody made a Swiss gold joke yet? Probs.

Beth Phoenix v Natalya

Tweet 16: I've heard Phoenix v Natalya is a great match. I'm looking forward to it. Looking forward to Eve's Tout less.

Tweet 17: Beth and Natty adhere to the Code of Honor.
Tweet 18: This match should be for the Divas championship. Best WWE women's match of the year.
Tweet 19: Eve promo. This one's live. No Tout involved.
Tweet 20: So they know that a blonde attacked Kaitlyn. Assuming that's true why does nobody suspect Kelly Kelly.
Tweet 21: Oh yeah… She left.

Booker T, Teddy Long and Eve have a natter backstage

Tweet 22: Is Booker going to reform Harlem Heat to compete in the tag team tournament? Hope so.

Tweet 23: More trouble brewing between Teddy and Booker. GM storylines are the bestest!

Wade Barrett v Zack Ryder

Tweet 24: Want to see Barrett's ring coat? Too bad. He's retired it.

Tweet 25: Barrett is doing a bare knuckle boxing gimmick and starts the match by kneeing Ryder multiple times. Also, Kassius does it better.
Tweet 26: "Wade whadda you doin', uh?" - The referee that looks like Benedict Cumberbatch
Tweet 27: Barrett should be feuding with Sheamus. His weekly battering of jobbers is wasteful.

Miz TV, with Sheamus as guest

Tweet 28: I like Miz but I couldn't care less about Miz TV. WWE's cycle of chat segments needs to come to an end. #datedconcept

Tweet 29: What's this segment meant to achieve?
Tweet 30: A radio show, a book, and a film. Miz is actually doing a lot better than Sheamus overall. Gutted, fella.
Tweet 31: #Zigglerpop #heel #heelsdoitbetter
Tweet 32: Ziggler has just announced he'll cash-in at Hell in a Cell. I'm not convinced.

Sheamus prepares to take flight

The Usos v The Rhodes Scholars

Tweet 33: Reason for the lack of shouty entrance for the Usos? They have sore throats.

Tweet 34: The Rhodes Scholars seem like a safe pick here. I can't see the Usos getting close to the belts anytime soon.
Tweet 35: Not much of a match but the right team won.

Ryback v Tensai

Tweet 36: Ryback being on Twitter feels wrong.

Tweet 37: "Smash! Smash! Smash!" - Tensai as he threw punches at Ryback
Tweet 38: What is Ryback's finisher called? Ryback Buster?

Randy Orton v Big Show

Tweet 39: I assume Orton has been written out of the match and Del Rio will replace him. I'm tired of ADR. He should be given a month or two off.

Tweet 40: Bring him back and give him a fresh feud.
Tweet 41: Being a super-babyface Orton is going to wrestle despite the handful of punches he received backstage.
Tweet 42: It's also interesting to note that ADR smashed a box into 'The Viper's' leg but Orton's holding his ribs.
Tweet 43: It's almost like wrestling isn't real...
Tweet 44: "Big Show's hands are as wide as a football" - Michael Cole
Tweet 45: Christ, this match is dull.
Tweet 46: An RKO isn't enough to keep mega-heel Big Show down. He shrugs off finishers like a machine.
Tweet 47: Not to be outdone Orton kicks out of a choke slam. Show hits another and gets a (sort of) clean victory over 'The Apex Predator'.
Tweet 48: Sheamus versus Big Show. That will be utterly diabolical. Jim Ross on commentary could make it tolerable but that won't happen.

SmackTalk 14.09.12

For the second week in a row SmackDown began with David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez demanding the ban of the Brogue Kick. What made this situation particularly puzzling was that they had already achieved their goal at the conclusion of the previous week’s show. Naturally Michael Cole and Josh Mathews failed to draw attention to this and sat slumped at ringside as Otunga wittered on about banning the already banned move.

Repeated opening segment aside I thought it was a decent episode, although there was nowhere near enough hype for Night of Champions considering the show aired two days before the pay-per-view. That’s something that WWE used to do very well but have lapsed on over the last couple of years. Perhaps evaluating their selling strategy could result in a few more buys.

The highlight of the show was the tussle between World champion Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. Billed as a WrestleMania rematch, because ‘The Celtic Warrior’ beat Bryan at that show with the now banned Brogue Kick (flimsy reasoning or what?), it was a believable, compelling bout that showed Sheamus at his finest and made a pleasant change from his seemingly endless series with Alberto Del Rio. ‘Beuatiful’ Bryan was, as usual, superb.

Kane and Kofi Kingston had a far better match than I thought they would. A face versus face match with one man booked as a monster is a difficult thing to pull off and they did it very well here. Kingston deserves particular praise for his performance after the match as well: his expression when hugged by ‘The Big Red Machine’ was amusing.

I was interested to see Brodus Clay and Tyson Kidd interact with Antonio Cesaro. Either man would make a good rival for the United States champion and might actually stand a chance of generating a little interest in Cesaro’s currently meaningless trinket.

Kidd is capable of working lengthy, athletic matches with ‘The Swiss Superman’. It could be his ticket to a purposeful spot in the mid-card. ‘The Funkasaurus’ is not as athletically gifted as the man from Calgary (although he is very agile for a man of his size) but he would be a good choice to work short comedy matches with the champ. Cesaro has a talent for funny bouts and takes big bumps for a larger man. I think he could turn out to be a good opponent for Brodus.

I assume that either Kidd or Clay will challenge Cesaro at Night of Champions. A new feud involving any of the three would be a positive thing.

The final thing I feel I should mention is the first time ever clash between Tensai and Randy Orton. A frivolous backstage promo before the match revealed that ‘The Viper’ had requested Tensai as his opponent. When asked why Orton gave a simple “Why not?”

Such an attitude is going to do the former A-Train no favours. Not that that matters. WWE have already ruined any chances they had of making the best use of Tensai by halting his push and making too many alterations to his gimmick. Had Tensai been treated as a big deal and been used as a pay-per-view regular then his first televised clash with ‘The Apex Predator’ could have been used to attract viewers or entice PPV buys.

I’ve written this before (here) and WWE will make the same mistake in the future. Because they can.

Opening video

Tweet 1: A boring recap is followed by the hilariously dramatic meeting between Otunga and Sheamus that (allegedly) took place at Titan Towers.

Tweet 2: Interesting to note that when they cut to the black and white camera no cameramen were visible. #vintageWWE

David Otunga, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez try to have the Brogue Kick banned… again

Tweet 3: In the ring Ricardo Rodriguez is crying and speaking in English while David Otunga sells a neck brace.

Tweet 4: Most boring. Opening segment. Ever.
Tweet 5: Christian has lost a year of his career to the Brogue Kick. I thought it was that broken ankle he suffered and writer indifference...
Tweet 6: No... No... No...
Tweet 7: They're using every trick in the book to try and make Sheamus a rebellious anti-hero. It's not convincing.
Tweet 8: The only man to get a reaction in that segment was Daniel Bryan, the one not involved in the World title scene right now. Brilliant.
Tweet 9: Get the belt off Sheamus and put it on Dolph Ziggler.

Sin Cara v The Miz

Tweet 10: Here's Sin Cara, the man nobody cares about.

Tweet 11: I was expecting Miz v Sin Cara at Night of Champions. I'm pleased it's being left off the PPV. I don't expect this to be good.
Tweet 12: A four way including Rhodes and Mysterio should be far more enjoyable.
Tweet 13: For a guy pushed as a high flyer Sin Cara really enjoys a good rest hold.
Tweet 14: If the writing team was better I'd assume that Sin Cara pinning Miz clean was going to lead to something.

Teddy Long, The Miz, Cody Rhodes, Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara backstage

Tweet 15: Why isn't Teddy Long the GM? He's being booked like one.

Tweet 16: Now that I've seen Miz is inexplicably being booked like an underdog babyface I have a feeling he could retain on Sunday.

Kane v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 17: Kane and Bryan could do so much as a tag team. Could they rebuild the doubles division? Don't get your hopes up.

Tweet 18: Kane versus Kofi Kingston is a style clash waiting to happen.
Tweet 19: Truth isn't accompanying Kofi. Little Jimmy's out there though.
Tweet 20: That was a surprisingly good match. Both men played their roles very well.
Tweet 21: Dr Shelby is on the stage! That's a promising sign for him becoming Kane's on-screen manager.

Shelby needs to become a TV regular

Matt Striker interview Randy Orton

Tweet 22: Note the glee in Striker's eyes as he introduces Orton.

Tweet 23: Orton treats Striker with disdain. Good.
Tweet 24: Orton didn't really give a reason for wanting to face Tensai.
Tweet 25: He could've just said "Because he's a glorified jobber so it's a guaranteed win."

Tensai v Randy Orton

Tweet 26: Nobody acknowledges Sakamoto anymore. He doesn't even get a graphic.

Tweet 27: Tensai v Orton is a first time meeting. Had WWE booked Tensai since he returned then this could have drawn some pay-per-view buys.
Tweet 28: Tensai is a heel straight out of the 80s.
Tweet 29: "Tensai's going to put Orton away here!" - Michael Cole seconds before Orton went over clean
Tweet 30: When Randy Orton is an old man he will look fascinating.

This match could have meant something

Antonio Cesaro’s heat-seeking segment

Tweet 31: Antonio Cesaro… Heeeey!!

Tweet 32: Cesaro's facial expressions: priceless.
Tweet 33: Remember that Tyson Kidd mini-push a few months ago? No, me neither...
Tweet 34: Tyson Kidd is not a good substitute for Cameron and Naomi.
Tweet 35: I assume from that that it will be either Clay or Kidd wrestling Cesaro on Sunday. Both would be good choices.

Erm... yeah...

Brief and pointless Wade Barrett appearance

Tweet 36: Tuning in to see Wade Barrett's ring coat? Then you're going to be disappointed...

Kaitlyn v Beth Phoenix

Tweet 37: If this Divas match didn't involve Kaitlyn I'd consider skipping it.

Tweet 38: Cole's talking about Backstage Fallout. It's a pointless YouTube show. Anything worthwhile that happens on there should be booked for RAW.
Tweet 39: "Ask her, ref!" - 'Y2J' Beth Phoenix
Tweet 40: Kaitlyn pins Phoenix clean. That either says something about her chances at beating Layla or Beth's standing in WWE. I'm not sure which.

Booker T, Eve and Teddy Long backstage

Tweet 41: Booker T gets on better with Eve than he does with Teddy Long. What a compelling slice of storyline.

Daniel Bryan v Sheamus

Tweet 42: FELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Tweet 43: No... No... No... No... *shakes head* ... No...
Tweet 44: This referee looks like a young Benedict Cumberbatch.
Tweet 45: Cole just described Dean Malenko as "great." I don't disagree but it does beg the question of why he's not in the WWE Hall of Fame.
Tweet 46: Look at Sheamus, hurling himself off the top rope like a sack of wet cement.
Tweet 47: #nokicks
Tweet 48: "Sheamus's face almost turning crimson here" - Josh Mathews, who may just have been looking at his hair
Tweet 49: They didn't even tease the Brogue Kick. What a confusing storyline.

No Longer a Lord

What happened to the push of Tensai?

The former A-Train returned to the promotion to much fan interest after several years away from WWE wrestling in Japan. During this time he improved as a worker and became a genuinely big star for Pro Wrestling NOAH.

His return was not only heralded by a series of vignettes but also a new character that was different to everything else on the roster. With his height and bulk, not to mention his improvement in the ring, the feeling was that Matt Bloom would receive a big push under the new guise of Lord Tensai. There were rumours he would be associated with then on-screen boss John Laurinaitis and feud with John Cena. It looked as though Bloom was going straight to the top.

Anyone who has been watching WWE programming over the last six months will know that this hasn’t happened.

Things started off well enough. Lord Tensai won his first few matches via squash and the commentary team went out of their way to put him over as an experienced competitor, mentioning his time in Japan and the fact that he had had a less than stellar run in WWE a decade before. This is rare behaviour for Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. That they were putting Tensai over indicated that management had big plans for him.

It was only a few weeks after he’d returned to the promotion that Lord Tensai was permitted the ultimate honour: he defeated John Cena. He didn’t do it clean, David Otunga, John Laurinaitis and his personal manservant Sakamoto all involved themselves in the no disqualification bout and Tensai used the dreaded Green Mist™ finish, but it was still a promising sign. That he was booked to beat Cena, the company’s golden boy, in any fashion was big news.

 

Tensai has proven a textbook example of how to bury someone. Good work, John...

 

From there it all just… stopped. Tensai toppled Cena in a few more outings but it didn’t take ‘The CeNation Leader’ long to get his win back. There was no pay-per-view clash between the two and Tensai found himself without any actual storyline. He was simply hired muscle that happened to be doing a Japanese gimmick.

It wasn’t until July’s Money in the Bank, three months after he had returned to WWE, that Tensai wrestled on pay-per-view. He made up the numbers in the World Heavyweight championship MITB clash. By this point fans had accepted he wasn’t going to be used as a headliner: he had been booked to lose numerous times to wrestlers of varying status, from Cena to Tyson Kidd, and had numerous tweaks made to his character (such as the loss of his Lordship) that made him stand out less.

It’s a pity. Had WWE formulated a plan for using Tensai he could have been an interesting addition to the main event scene. His size allows him a surprising amount of versatility: he could be booked as a monster against the likes of CM Punk and Daniel Bryan, muscle around giants like Kane and Big Show, or have an intense “slobberknocker” of a match with a guy like Sheamus.

Tensai is one of the few men on the roster who can get a bearable outing from John Cena. WWE can still book this match whenever they like but we’ve seen it several times over the last few months and it won’t feel particularly special anymore.

Had Tensai decisively beaten Cena at Over The Limit and No Way Out he could then have been used as a contender to World Heavyweight champion Sheamus at Money in the Bank. Had that happened then ‘The Celtic Warrior’s’ run with Alberto Del Rio wouldn’t have outstayed its welcome and there would have been a purpose to Tensai’s return to the company.

As things stand right now Tensai is lost in the mid-card and doesn’t look as though he’ll be doing anything meaningful any time soon. Another wasted chance by WWE’s creative team.

Dynamic Duos

Yesterday I stated that WWE retooling their tag team division would be a good way of allowing underutilised performers the chance to get themselves over (read that here). I listed a number of wrestlers currently working on the main roster (or ready to advance to it from NXT) and would now like to go a step further and discuss some pairings.

The first team that suggests itself is Jack Swagger and Johnny Curtis. Those two would complement one another nicely. Swagger is a (mostly) reliable worker who lacks the charisma needed to establish himself in any meaningful sense. Curtis meanwhile always strikes me as being a little basic with his repertoire but very good when it comes to getting his character over (especially impressive considering how little time on TV he gets).

Pairing ‘Dirty Curty’ and ‘The All American American’ would allow them to cover each other’s weak points. It would perhaps allow them to learn from one another too. It would also give the doubles scene a classic big man-small pairing. The two could have some solid clashes with current champs Kofi Kingston and R-Truth.

Another potentially interesting tandem would be Drew McIntyre and Michael McGillicutty. The son of Mr Perfect made it to the main roster in 2010 as part of the Nexus angle but ended up being sent back to developmental in early 2011, either because the creative team were losing interest in Nexus or because it was decided he wasn’t a good enough worker (or maybe both).

McIntyre received a very strong push back in 2009. He was given the Intercontinental title (which is a fairly worthless belt these days but it was a nice gesture) and was permitted to share screen time with Vince McMahon. He was even dubbed ‘The Chosen One’ by the boss! There’s an indication that a guy’s headed to the top of ever there was one.

But the Scot didn’t progress beyond the mid-card. His push faltered then stopped completely and he has spent much of the last two years drifting aimlessly. Teaming him with McGillicutty would allow two guys of similar ability the opportunity to reinvent themselves and contribute to the company’s programming in a more meaningful fashion.

That’s two heel tandems and no babyfaces so far. How about pairing up Ezekiel Jackson and Mason Ryan? That may sound like a recipe for disaster but there’s a reason I’d suggest putting them together: both have shown signs of being able to get over as fan favourites in the past.

If you think this is exciting wait until you see him do a scoop slam!

Mason Ryan (formerly Goliath on ITV’s Gladiators revival) swerve-turned on Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero in the autumn of last year, which started a brief feud between him and ‘The Show Off’. While Ziggler carried Ryan through all of their matches it cannot be denied that fans rallied behind the Welshman.

Similarly Jackson had some solid fan support during his Intercontinental championship feud with Wade Barrett last year. During some matches he even managed to get crowds cheering his multiple scoop slams. Yes, scoop slams.

I think that putting Ryan and ‘The Personification of Domination’ together would create a team that could get over as big, powerful babyfaces. They’d need to be protected with short squash wins but if booked right they could get over as a Road Warriors-esque unit. Ryback has proven that fans will still get behind a squash artist.

Yoshi Tatsu and Derrick Bateman could be booked as plucky underdogs. Their size would allow them to appear more sympathetic than the other teams suggested here, and work a quicker, more athletic style that would help to set them apart.

JTG and Trent Barreta would be the last two guys left. They could work as either good guys or bad guys and would be another big man-small man combo to use. These two have so little going on right now that being paired up could only be an improvement for them.

Creating these five teams would require much work and wouldn’t stop them appearing in singles bouts on Superstars. They could simply have a tag partner with them at ringside when they appear on the show.

The main roster currently has only a few teams of note. Champions Kofi Kingston and R-Truth are joined by Epico and Primo, the Prime Time Players, the MidCard Mafia and Hunico and Camacho. That’s not much of a division.

What I’ve proposed above would immediately double the size of the tag ranks, creating plenty of options for the booking team. They could even start using Sakamoto as a wrestler and pair him with Tensai. The Ascension are ready to be promoted from NXT too.

WWE has plenty of options when it comes to tag team wrestling. As I explained in my previous post there are plenty of reasons to start making better use of the doubles ranks. With RAW currently at three hours there’s ample time for promoting these renewed acts and giving them the chance to get over. The company has nothing to lose and everything to gain.

SmackTalk 03.08.12

Considering there was a new General Manager running this week’s SmackDown it was a fairly forgettable episode. Had this been RAW, or if WWE’s writing team had the luxury of penning storylines further in advance, then more would have been made of the new authority figure. But it was SmackDown and as such there was a feeling that everything had been thrown together in a short period of time.

The new boss was Booker T. He’s not a bad choice for the role. As a former multi-time world champion and headline talent he has the star power to be accepted in the role by fans, and he knows how to cut an effective babyface promo.

Unfortunately it leaves us with the less-than-stellar combo of Michael Cole and Josh Mathews on commentary. There really needs to be a colour commentator present to flesh that unit out. Perhaps WWE will tackle this situation in the coming weeks.

Booker didn’t really get to do very much on his first night as the General Manager. His inaugural speech was interrupted by Alberto Del Rio. He sarcastically congratulated the former five-time WCW champion on his appointment and then reiterated his statement from RAW: that he will not be wrestling again until it’s for the World Heavyweight championship. This naturally brought Sheamus out to the ring.

After telling them that they’d both be in action (Sheamus against Tensai and ADR against Randy Orton) Booker headed backstage to participate in some weak vignettes. Very little of interest happened in these. The most notable moments were Teddy Long being given the job of Booker’s Senior Advisor (nobody questioned why he was hanging out backstage even though he should have been out of a job since Laurinaitis was fired a month and a half ago) and Cody Rhodes being told he will face Sin Cara on next week’s show.

I’m being generous by using the word “interest” there I think.

The quality of the matches was pretty good. The six man tag team match and Sheamus v Tensai in particular were commendable outings for all involved. That said the two biggest matches, the clash between Tensai and ‘Great White’ and ADR versus ‘The Viper’, both ended with disqualifications. That was less than ideal. It didn’t help that one was the first match of the show and one was the last. In an ideal world the running order would have been rejigged and the six man match would have gone on last. Or WWE could have just altered the booking.

Daniel Bryan was, as usual, a highlight of SmackDown

Ryback wasn’t served terribly well either. His mini-feud with Jinder Mahal has not been flattering for the former Nexus member. He is being made to sell too much and wins via DQ and count out do not make him look like the dominant performer he is supposed to be. I hope he gets a decisive victory over the man with the Perspex box next week and then goes back to smashing two (or more) jobbers from there.

While SmackDown this week was not a bad show it wasn’t the best. Booker T being announce as GM by Vince, Daniel Bryan’s interaction with the crowd, the appearance of Antonio Cesaro, and the progression of the Ziggler v Jericho feud were all nice moments but ultimately the show could have been better.

Vince McMahon introduced the new SmackDown General Manager

Tweet 1: Time for Friday night's hottest show. Time for SmackDown.

Tweet 2: And here comes Vince McMahon. I was going to wonder when he was last on the show but Josh has just told us. Three years, since you ask.
Tweet 3: Booker as GM. Does this mean he won't be on commentary anymore? That's incredibly disappointing.
Tweet 4: Breaking news, Josh? This is a taped show...
Tweet 5: At least Booker called Alberto "dawg". He’s said far worse on commentary...
Tweet 6: "In my DNA I have the blood of champions" - Alberto Del Rio
Tweet 7: FELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!
Tweet 8: The power's going to Booker's head already...
Tweet 9: Orton v ADR on free TV. Why is one of WWE's few fresh matches not saved for pay-per-views?
Tweet 10: Sheamus v Tensai. Another fresh match. This isn't as bad. WWE seem to have given up on Tensai's push.

Sheamus v Tensai

Tweet 11: They just cut to a video of Tensai speaking Japanese. I was hoping they'd play that racist Tout video he put up.

Tweet 12: They're recapping Tensai's loss to Tyson Kidd. Do they really expect us to believe he'll beat Sheamus when he lost to Kidd?
Tweet 13: If this were the 1980s Tensai would be a genuine world title contender.
Tweet 14: "Sheamus loves to fight!" - Josh Mathews, telling us what we already know
Tweet 15: Tensai just took a spill off the top rope. Scary bump for a guy his size.
Tweet 16: Sheamus just slammed Tensai! He's now officially more over than Hogan.
Tweet 17: Tensai beaten clean with a Brogue Kick. That's not a surprise.

Sheamus treats us to a bigger than usual punch-in-the-ropes spot

Booker T backstage with Eve and Teddy Long

Tweet 18: Eve congratulates Booker backstage. Booker avoids saying "shucky ducky quack quack!"

Tweet 19: Why is Teddy Long still hanging around at SmackDown tapings? HE GOT SACKED!

Antonio Cesaro v Santino

Tweet 20: Antonio Cesaro. Heeeey!!

Tweet 21: Saying one word in five languages doesn't prove it but Antonio DOES speak five languages. #veryEuropean
Tweet 22: The US title dates back to 1975. That's impressive apparently.
Tweet 23: Aksana is a real asset to Antonio’s act. #sarcasm
Tweet 24: Cesaro goes over with the Gotch Style Neutralizer... which wasn't referred to by that name (probably because I like it).

Antonio Cesaro says hello to fans while Aksana plays with her hair and looks vacant. She's a real asset

Matt Striker interviews Daniel Bryan

Tweet 25: Matt Striker interviewing someone other than Randy Orton. It's D-Bry!

Tweet 26: A "No! No! No!" shirt. #thatscans
Tweet 27: I want to see the back of this shirt.

Daniel Bryan, The Miz and Dolph Ziggler v Kane, Christian and Chris Jericho

Tweet 28: Bryan just going mental screaming "No!" there. Good stuff. I bet this character direction would have been hated in ROH had he done it there first.

Tweet 29: So Kane is definitely a babyface again?
Tweet 30: Ziggler hasn't lost his touch according to Vickie. I won't ask how she knows that...
Tweet 31: I hope WWE has a plan for turning Bryan face. He's ridiculously over.
Tweet 32: The Yes Lock is now the No Lock. Still better than the LeBell Lock.
Tweet 33: "The Miz has done it all here in WWE" - Michael Cole, perhaps hinting at a move to TNA for Miz
Tweet 34: Bumping himself to the outside... #classicZiggler
Tweet 35: #nokicks
Tweet 36: This is one of the better six man tags WWE has promoted in a while. Lots going on.
Tweet 37: Bryan screaming "No!" in the faces of children is the highlight of SmackDown so far.

Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton

Tweet 38: "Randy, welcome back. You've been sorely missed" - Matt Striker with some personal comments to Randy Orton

Tweet 39: Orton talking about WWE being his life, there. He's got a wife and kids.

Jinder Mahal v Ryback

Tweet 40: JINDER MAHAL'S PERSPEX BOX!!

Tweet 41: Ryback v Jinder Mahal again? I just want to see Ryback squash people. I don't want these competitive matches.
Tweet 42: Ryback gave us an almost Ultimate Warrior-esque promo then. He's used to being on the food chain in the jungle and wants to eat WWE stars.
Tweet 43: Yes, he wants to EAT WWE stars...
Tweet 44: Ryback wins via DQ. Poor. Just gradually increase the number of jobbers he faces. Three months and he should be squashing twenty guys.

R-Truth v Darren Young

Tweet 45: R-Truth, accompanied by Kofi Kingston and Little Jimmy.

Tweet 46: How many rape gags can AW get into this segment?
Tweet 47: That was a pretty tedious match. Titus and Darren are getting sloppier.

Booker T backstage segment, featuring a phone call, Layla and Cody Rhodes

Tweet 48: RAW recap successfully skipped. Not interested in watching that again.

Tweet 49: Who was Booker on the phone to? Kevin Nash?
Tweet 50: Booker puts Cody in a match against Sin Cara. That'll be a boring match and Cody will probably win. Cara's push is dead.

Randy Orton v Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 51: Will we see an RKO, Josh? I'd say there's a very good chance of it.

Tweet 52: Albertoooooooooooooooooo Deeeeeeelllllllllll Riiiiiiiioooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
Tweet 53: There's not enough time left for these two to have a good match.
Tweet 54: If I were booking this I'd have Orton go over clean via RKO to set him up as a contender to the champion after SummerSlam.
Tweet 55: Orton in early with an attempt at the draping DDT.
Tweet 56: "Those chances are few and far between" - Michael Cole on world title shots (clearly he's overlooking house shows)
Tweet 57: Alberto Del Rio won his first shoot fight at the age of seven. He beat a goat.
Tweet 58: Ricardo Rodriguez gets involved just as I begin to notice the similarities between Orton's hair and Tomasso Ciampa's.
Tweet 59: Another disqualification finish. How unsatisfying.
Tweet 60: Sheamus tosses ADR into the ring to take an RKO. Told you we'd see that move, Josh.
Tweet 61: "Are we ready for the Booker T Era here on SmackDown?" asks Josh Mathews. Nobody is ready for that.