NXTweet 30.10.14

It wasn’t until this week’s episode had whizzed by that I realised it had been really rather enjoyable. It’s probably because Bull Dempsey had a match. I love a Bull Dempsey match.

Sami Zayn talking to a cameraman backstage, featuring Titus O’Neil

Tweet 1: I am watching NXT.

Tweet 2: Sami Zayn in a locker room wearing a fetching flat cap. Strong opening.
Tweet 3: Titus rocking a pink plaid shirt and a pocket handkerchief. This episode could not have a better start.
Tweet 4: That was mind-blowing stuff. #clothing is a draw

Enzo Amore and Big Cass v The Ascension v Tye Dillinger and Jason Jordan v The Vaudevillains v Buddy Murphy and Wesley Blake: Number one contendership tag team battle royal

Tweet 5: Five teams in a battle royal. Wouldn't a turmoil have been better? Haven't had one of those for ages and they can be great.

Tweet 6: Is it a battle royal to avoid The Ascension losing a match?
Tweet 7: Just a reminder: Big Cass is seven feet tall and you can't teach that.
Tweet 8: Tensai's strategy would be to "attack the weakest link." Searing insight.
Tweet 9: The crowd are not mad about this match. I'm not either. Battle royals are tough sells. Hopefully it'll pick up at the final two though.
Tweet 10: The Ascension eliminating two teams there, reminding us that we should consider them a big deal.

Better than any tag match you'll see on RAW.

Tweet 11: Wouldn't someone tall be easier to throw over the top rope? They're closer to it. Shorter guys need hauling up. #wrestlinglogic
Tweet 12: Hideo Itami on distraction duty there. This feud is... not great.
Tweet 13: It could have been though. That's the sad part.
Tweet 14: Vaudevillains win off an Itami distraction then run away from The Ascension. Itami then takes a double team move from No Mercy on the N64.
Tweet 15: Konnor telling Itami to go home. The subtlety! The drama!

Carmella v Emma

Tweet 16: They really got it wrong with Emma on the main roster.

Tweet 17: "Mind games from Emma" - Rich Brennan as Emma performed a basic comedy spot
Tweet 18: Carmella checking her nails as she chokes Emma, there. So... she's a heel aligned with two of NXT's most popular guys?
Tweet 19: That finisher on Carmella though...

Good hold.

Bull Dempsey v Justin Gabriel

Tweet 20: Justin Gabriel is walking to the ring. I'm going to accept this episode will not be all it could be.

Tweet 21: Bull Dempsey and his large Taz look have cheered me up.
Tweet 22: Has Taz got a training school? He strikes me as the sort of man who would open a training school in a cold garage in Brooklyn.
Tweet 23: Dempsey using the running standing splash is lol.
Tweet 24: Top rope headbutt. No negative connotations to that move.

Lovely knees on Bull.

Baron Corbin v Tony Briggs

Tweet 25: Is Baron his name or his title?

Tweet 26: I'm guessing that Briggs guy has an amateur background?
Tweet 27: I'm still not interested in Baron Corbin.

Hideo Itami backstage

Tweet 28: Hideo Itami telling us he's going to ring a friend to fight The Ascension there. Wonder who that will be.

Tweet 29: I generally try and avoid spoilers but that's one that was (understandably) forced down my throat. Not literally, thankfully.

Marcus Louis v Sylvester Lefort

Tweet 30: Sylvester Lefort is great.

Tweet 31: Marcus Louis is... not. He does look a bit like Kane though. That's something.

Lefort versus mid-00s Kane.

Tweet 32: I want Louis to join a stable as a man who sees himself as a deformed monster. A manager could have fun with that.
Tweet 33: NXT needs a manager or two, obvs.

Sami Zayn v Titus O’Neil

Tweet 34: Titus O'Neil and Sami Zayn again? Is this another one for the Best of Titus O'Neil DVD?

Tweet 35: Tensai running his mouth about territories there.
Tweet 36: I think Titus just shouted something about a man shop. What is a man shop and why is Titus talking about them?
Tweet 37: If Titus wins this match does NXT become NXTITUS? You know, like he said a week or two ago.
Tweet 38: "That's disrespectful!" - Renee Young on Titus, a heel, shouting at fans
Tweet 39: Titus versus Ziggler would probably be a good match with some time to it.
Tweet 40: For that matter so would Zayn versus Ziggler.
Tweet 41: Imagine Ziggler versus Ziggler though. That'd be something...

Helluva kicking Titus's head in, there.

Tweet 42: Zayn wins with an Exploder and a Helluva kick. Just like that. Not much build to the finish.
Tweet 43: That win was improbable. Apparently.
Tweet 44: Tyler Breeze out to set up a match with Zayn for next week. I'm up for that. I'm assuming Zayn will win.
Tweet 45: Tyler Breeze just doing some posing to end the show there. Standard.
Tweet 46: That flew by. I obviously enjoyed it more than I realised. Good episode.
Tweet 47: "I obviously enjoyed it more than I realised" - Dave with a glowing endorsement for NXT

NXTweet 23.10.14

This was a very enjoyable episode of NXT, everyone’s favourite one hour weekly wrestling show. Not watched in a while? It’s probably a decent jump on point.

The Ascension v Tye Dillinger and Jason Jordan

Tweet 1: Right then, you bunch'a marks! Let's T some NX!

Tweet 2: "Next generation of WWE stars..." - A commentator as we were shown a shot of The Ascension
Tweet 3: Two weeks ago: Funaki stretcher job. #prayforFunaki
Tweet 4: The crowd should be chanting "Where's your hair gone?" at Jason Jordan.
Tweet 5: Jason Jordan should totally go singles and start calling himself 'The New Double J'.
Tweet 6: Slik Vik and Special K: The Ascension.

Imagine Joey Styles calling this. "FALL OF MAAAAAAN!!"

Tweet 7: Decidedly erotic cover from Viktor there. Tye was probably too intimidated to try a kick out.
Tweet 8: Fuanki's lad getting beaten down there. Remember when he debuted and sent The Ascension packing single-handed? Debut's over.
Tweet 9: "Just go home" - Konnor to Hideo Itami

CJ Parker v Tyler Breeze

Tweet 10: Rich Brennan, Tensai McBurgerson, and Alex Riley. What a dream team!

Tweet 11: No sign from CJ Parker this week? Poor form, bro.
Tweet 12: Ah no, he had it stashed at ringside so he wasn't weighed down on his entrance. Good lad.
Tweet 13: CJ is clearly hated and they insist on presenting Tyler as a heel so who are we meant to cheer here?
Tweet 14: Give CJP his own YouTube and-or Network show called Everybody Hates CJ Parker.
Tweet 15: Mojo Rawley has walked out to ringside. The quality of this show has dipped.
Tweet 16: Mojo staring lustfully at Breeze there.

Tyler's boots and CJ's hair are easily confused.

Devin Taylor interviews Titus O’Neil

Tweet 17: Loving this interviewer openly laughing at Titus O'Neil.

Tweet 18: Titus basically said he's going to win the NXT title and rename the promotion NXTITUS. He is not a money promo.

Baron Corbin vignette

Tweet 19: Sin City movies + American Wolves gear = Baron Corbin

The Vaudevillains v Wesley Blake and Buddy Murphy

Tweet 20: #Vaudevillainspop

Tweet 21: The Vaudevillains are wearing T-shirts to the ring, have new music and are doing an Impact Players-esque pose.
Tweet 22: Tensai is putting this over as a game-changing new attitude.
Tweet 23: Murphy and Blake should use the ring name The Meaty Lads.

Cesaro would roll up an uppercut here...

Tweet 24: Why are they talking about the NXT Universe? Does NXT not exist within the WWE Universe? Maybe my alternate universe theory was right.
Tweet 25: I think they should refer to NXT as a galaxy. #justsaying
Tweet 26: Blake does a kip up and acts like it's the most impressive thing ever. It's not, mate. You're generic.

Bayley v Sasha Banks

Tweet 27: Bayley's great. Tell a friend.

Tweet 28: Sasha Banks is also great, even though her character doesn't really make much sense without the BFFs.
Tweet 29: Lots of hip action on Sasha during that entrance...
Tweet 30: Alex Riley is talking about putting Ws in the win column again. Why is on he on the commentary team? He's so bad!

That may be a Scyther on Bayley's trunks.

Tweet 31: The colour scheme of Sasha's outfit makes me think of Ultimo Dragon.
Tweet 32: The Banks Statement is great every time I see it.
Tweet 33: Swerve turn from Becky Lynch! Swerve! Swerve! Sweeeeeerve!! #swerve
Tweet 34: Lynch's post-match taunting needs work. Right now it's a weak head waggle and brushing imaginary dirt from her shoulders. No.

Enzo Amore, Big Cass and Carmella backstage

Tweet 35: Enzo and leopard print. That's all I got from that segment.

Tweet 36: Here's another thought: maybe Enzo and Cass will split after Enzo gets jealous of Cass and Carmella’s friendship.
Tweet 37: Because pecks on cheeks should lead to heel turns more often.

NXT championship: Adrian Neville (c) v Titus O’Neil

Tweet 38: What's with Byron Saxton saying "championship" in such a weird way?

Tweet 39: Newcastle? Boooooooooooo!!
Tweet 40: Has Titus been sent to NXT to get some good matches out of him for a Best of Titus O'Neil DVD?
Tweet 41: I'd buy a Titus DVD from WWE. I'd also buy a YouShoot interview with him if he ever got released.
Tweet 42: Not least because I, like everybody else, would mark out seeing Titus and Sean Oliver in the same room.
Tweet 43: Looking forward to the day Sean Oliver is considered enough of a name to appear as a talking head on WWE documentaries.
Tweet 44: BEAR HUG FROM TITUS!! IT'S OVER!!
Tweet 45: "Would he represent NXT the way it deserves to be represented? I don't know. It's a good question" - Alex Riley to Alex Riley
Tweet 46: Titus runs into Nev's boots and goes down. Neville then hits the Red Arrow and pins him. It could be argued that Titus beat himself.

Titus taking the Red Arrow like a pro.

Tweet 47: Why are WWE protecting Titus to any extent? Because he's been presented as a monster on NXT? That's not enough.
Tweet 48: Zayn and Nev agreeing to a future championship match there.
Tweet 49: Zayn says Nev should appreciate having the belt while he can. Nev says Zayn can't "win the big one."
Tweet 50: A guy in the audience says Zayn got served. END SCENE

NXTweet 09.10.14

Around the halfway point of this episode I realised I was watching a below average NXT episode. There’s a tweet about it here. It has to happen sometimes. I can live with it. It remains WWE’s best weekly show by a significant margin. And that’s with Titus O’Neil in the main event!

Tyler Breeze v Mojo Rawley

Tweet 1: Let's Tweet some NX.

Tweet 2: Why has Breeze been dropped to the opening half of the show over the last month? Bad move, WWE.
Tweet 3: No, no, it's Mojo.
Tweet 4: Mojo looks like a Power Planet dude.


Tyler Breeze is not hyped for this treatment.

Tweet 5: How many times is Mojo going to get jobbed out before he gets put in a tag team with CJ Parker?
Tweet 6: They could be called The Guys The Audience Hates.

Enzo Amore, Big Cass, Carmella and William Regal at the Performance Centre

Tweet 7: Highlight of that Enzo and Cass video was two dudes chilling in a ring watching the filming.

Recap of the problems (or, if you prefer, the ongoing crisis) between Hideo Itami and The Ascension

Tweet 8: "Let's look now at the ongoing crisis between Hideo Itami and The Ascension." Ongoing crisis? Lolwut?

Tweet 9: Funaki's pep talk though...

Viktor v Hideo Itami

Tweet 10: They must be building up to Itami v Konor O'Konorson.

Tweet 11: "This man is the biggest star in Japan today" - Tensai McTensai on Hideo Itami
Tweet 12: Itami is not the biggest star in Japan. For one thing he's not even in Japan. Get your act together, Tensai.
Tweet 13: Why are the commentary team drawing attention to how quiet the crowd is? It's not a good thing.
Tweet 14: The audience just want to see Itami kick Viktor for a few minutes then pin him. Viktor offence is not required. But it's happening.

More of this next time, yeah?

Tweet 15: Konor roughing up Funaki? Is that the best they've got for the introductory storyline of KENTA?
Tweet 16: I mean, I'm all for Funaki being on TV but it's not helping Itami at all.
Tweet 17: Itami would look like a beast if he quickly beat Viktor one week and Konor the next, and fended the pair off every time they attacked him.
Tweet 18: "Look at Funaki, his tie's all over the place!" - Rich Brennan

The Vaudevillains v Enzo Amore and Big Cass

Tweet 19: #Vaudevillainspop

Tweet 20: This new music is more awful than it was last week.
Tweet 21: Big Cass referencing Hey, Arnold! there. Highlight of the show so far.
Tweet 22: I enjoyed that match but it didn't really last long enough. They could have been great with ten minutes.

That's a wrap, folks.

Becky Lynch v Sasha Banks

Tweet 23: Surprisingly enthusiastic response for Becky Lynch there.

Tweet 24: I've come to terms with this episode being below average. It has to happen sometimes.
Tweet 25: Lynch needs to go all Chris Daniels and get some flared tights.
Tweet 26: Is there a reason for all these kick outs at one?

Becky's tights are not good.

Tweet 27: That backstabber into a crossface is still beautiful.
Tweet 28: Sasha's good. She should be on in matches more often.

Titus O’Neil v Sami Zayn

Tweet 29: If Titus was coming into NXT as a new face he'd make a great monster. His history, and the Bunny feud, means it can't work now.

Tweet 30: I think Titus has a picture of himself on his trunks.
Tweet 31: Jason Albert saying he was in a match against Titus once. I bet that was a classic.
Tweet 32: "Are you okay?!" - Some woman in the crowd to Sami Zayn after he'd been chucked out of the ring
Tweet 33: Rich Brennan calling a bear hug a bear hold there.
Tweet 34: Titus is wearing a friendship bangle.

Kung Fu Titus.

Tweet 35: I wouldn't be surprised if this were Titus's longest match this year.
Tweet 36: Well there we are. Titus O'Neil defeated Sami Zayn. That'll send the crowd home happy.
Tweet 37: Why did nobody mention that Titus won with Clash of the Titus? It's a great name.
Tweet 38: Neville saved Zayn from a Titus top rope attack. I bet he was planning a 450.

Family Ties

Judging by videos we’ve seen over the last two weeks it looks as though Luke Harper and Erick Rowan may be getting split from Bray Wyatt and slotted into singles roles in the not-too-distant future. This is something WWE do pretty frequently, and it almost never works out. The reason for the all too consistent failure is simple: they don’t plan anything for the guys beyond the initial breakup of the team.

Nothing that’s been shown indicates that things will be different for Wyatt’s henchmen. Admittedly the story’s closer to its beginning than its end but the track record speaks for itself. For the most part WWE doesn’t do this particular wrestling plot well.

Look back at The Prime Time Players. They were not going to become the hottest thing in wrestling. They weren’t even going to become the hottest team in the promotion. But they’d gelled. They had a routine that people liked. A chant, a dance, and a whistle, nothing revolutionary but it was popular. They had a following and a regular spot on the card. They’d made the best of what they were given and did good work.

When they were split it became apparent that there were no plans in place for either man to do anything interesting as a singles performer. Titus revealed a nasty streak, violently attacking Darren Young after he’d lost them a tag match. The betrayal led to a match between the pair at Elimination Chamber. Titus won that and then… did nothing. He worked as a generic mid-card heel for a few months before settling into a fresh tag team with Heath Slater. D-Young was injured a couple of months into his time as a solo face, but nothing in that time indicated that WWE was about to initiate some master plan to turn him into a star.

Basically WWE took a very successful-by-modern-standards team and split them to get one match extra on to a pay-per-view. Then put one who’d been pushed harder after the breakup into a new team. So he’d have to start from scratch making his new unit work.

Nobody gained anything from this sequence. The profiles of both men dipped and a fun little double act was needlessly retired. It’s all too easy to find similar examples of pairings being prematurely disbanded for no reason throughout company history. It even happened to the New Age Outlaws at the height of their popularity.

What a good-looking pair of dudes.

Splitting the Wyatt clan now seems too early. It’s not that I think Bray Wyatt needs Harper and Rowan, or that Harper and Rowan particularly need him. Wyatt himself will survive a split whenever it comes. But Harper and Rowan need each other. In singles roles Harper and (particularly) Rowan would almost certainly become generically booked big lads drifting from one pointless match to the next, no hope of capturing a singles title or entering into a meaningful feud. Wyatt can survive lengthy periods of being obsolete because he has demonstrated what he’s capable of and his character is over. But Harper and Rowan can’t. They don’t have the same standing or presence.

The pair are best served as a tag team. That way they’re likelier to be included on shows and remain relevant. They can contribute more and Rowan can continue to benefit from teaming with a more capable, experienced partner. It’s also worth noting that being in a tag team doesn’t preclude Harper from being placed in singles matches. If WWE are desperate to trial him as a solo artist they could simply do so with big Erick at ringside. If Harper flourished in the role they could always have Rowan turn on him or him drop Rowan as a partner.

Without a plan a split is not going to work for anyone. And there’s no reason to believe WWE has one.

NXTweet 02.10.14

Two title matches that both mean something on a one hour wrestling show? It could only be NXT. Or Ring of Honor, obvs.

Women’s championship: Bayley v Charlotte

Tweet 1: It's NXTime.

Tweet 2: Starting with a championship match, eh? Bold move, WWE. Bold move.
Tweet 3: Not thirty seconds in and Alex Riley and Tensai Tensaison are arguing. I can't stand A-Ry on commentary. Why does he have a job?
Tweet 4: In-ring introductions. #bigtime
Tweet 5: Charlotte's from The Queen City. Is that anywhere near Dudleyville?
Tweet 6: A-Ry just said there's a big X up in the air. There's an Ultimate X match here...?
Tweet 7: Who is Alex Riley to talk about veteran moves?
Tweet 8: They're having a good match, for the record.
Tweet 9: Inappropriately placed ad breaks are inappropriate.
Tweet 10: Trad figure four from Charlotte. I prefer her figure four headlock. Plus, in wrestle-logic terms, it's harder to counter.

Woooooo!

Tweet 11: I did enjoy that handstand leverage from Charlotte though.
Tweet 12: Charlotte's neck breaker finisher is Natural Selection. Isn't that like the third name that thing's had?
Tweet 13: Post-match hug. I like the Charlotte character more every week. I don't think it's possible to like Bayley more.

The Ascension beat up Hideo Itami, thus cancelling the scheduled Viktor v Itami match

Tweet 14: When The Ascension had the tag titles we never saw them. Now they're on every week.

Tweet 15: I love the way the referees are perfectly lined up. They should have done it by height or something.

Ineffectual referees not actually getting between The Ascension and Itami there.

Tweet 16: "This right here was total annihilation" - Jason Albert on The Ascension duffing up Hideo Itami (because that's their finisher name!)
Tweet 17: "Uncalled for is the word that comes to mind" - Jason Albert
Tweet 18: I really miss Regal doing commentary.

Enzo Amore locks up a time or two with Carmella as Big Cass watches on

Tweet 19: They're showing Enzo teaching someone how to wrestle? This is exposing The Business! UNACCEPTABLE!!

Tweet 20: Oh noes! Carmella got the better of Enzo again! How humiliating, etc...

Troy McClane v Darin Corbin

Tweet 21: Pretty sure someone was holding a sign that said Brain Corbin.

Tweet 22: Troy McClane is a jobber but Christ that's a great name.
Tweet 23: I'm yet to see the appeal of Corbin. Decent enough look but nothing amazing. Can't judge his wrestling until he has longer matches.

The Vaudevillains v Jason Jordan and Tye Dillinger

Tweet 24: #Vaudevillainspop

Tweet 25: Their old music was way better. Was it changed because the audience liked it too much?
Tweet 26: Jordan and Dillinger should call themselves The New Team Angle.
Tweet 27: The Vaudevillains are clearly intended to be heels but they're just as clearly more likable than Benjamin and Haas 2.0.
Tweet 28: Gotch and English are playing to the crowd so maybe they're faces after all.
Tweet 29: This match is confusing.
Tweet 30: Dillinger slipped his knee pad down. My word what a heelish thing to do!
Tweet 31: Gotch is lucky he's not prone to botching because there'd be a very obvious nickname waiting for him.
Tweet 32: Please tell me English's senton is called That's a Wrap. Marvellous.

NXT's most manly tag team.

Titus O’Neil arrives and sits in the front row

Tweet 33: Titus O'Neil rocking up and sitting in the front row next to some dude wearing a bow tie there.

Hideo Itami is looked at by a doctor than chats to Sho Funaki

Tweet 34: Loving this Funaki cameo. He just happened to be passing through wearing a WWE branded anorak.

NXT championship: Tyson Kidd v Adrian Neville

Tweet 35: Titus gets to his feet and claps Tyson Kidd. Kidd blanks him.

Tweet 36: Weird little orc dance from Neville there.
Tweet 37: Titus gave him a thumbs up. Love that.
Tweet 38: Nev looked a bit disappointed by the boos. Bad luck, guy. They're yours now.
Tweet 39: I wonder if Kidd regrets not having a lengthy indy stint. He'd probably have gotten a regular Dragon Gate gig.
Tweet 40: If he was available now Quildan would definitely be snapping him up for RPW.
Tweet 41: Sometimes I wonder if Quildan really is the RPW booker. He might just be a (metaphorical, obvs) puppet used to take the heat.
Tweet 42: Mid-match don't try this at home thing where we're told WWE stars aren't invincible. Ambrose survived having his head crushed by concrete.
Tweet 43: Nice reversal from Neville off that sunset flip.
Tweet 44: "What a kick out by Tyson Kidd! Kicked out on pure instinct!" - Alex Riley with the blandest wrestling commentary I've ever heard
Tweet 45: Kidd puts on the Sharpshooter. Neville gets the ropes. I hate how often big submission moves are survived in that fashion.
Tweet 46: The move should be presented as so painful that the guy has to tap unless he can reach the ropes within a couple of seconds.

Too many people survive this these days. It does the move's image no good.

Tweet 47: Titus interferes. Zayn makes the save. The crowd are into Zayn more than anyone else.
Tweet 48: One day Sami Zayn will turn heel and in doing so will break my heart. He's so darn likable.
Tweet 49: Don't worry everyone! Adrian Neville retained with his fancy top rope finisher.
Tweet 50: Referee having to remind Neville to do the staredown with Zayn there.
Tweet 51: "Tyson Kidd has no more NXT championship opportunities." Said as Kidd sat slumped in the corner of the ring with his head in his hands.
Tweet 52: Go on, NXT! Kick 'im while he's down!

NXTweet 18.09.14

This week’s post-Takeover II episode of NXT didn’t just feature the in-ring debut of Hideo Itami. Oh no! It also featured a surprise appearance from Titus O’Neil. If that doesn’t sell you on the show you should probably just stop being a wrestling fan.

Opening

Tweet 1: Tweets about NXT are incoming.

Tweet 2: Why bother watching NXT specials when you get everything of significance recapped incredibly thoroughly a week later, eh?

Promo segment featuring Titus O’Neil, Sami Zayn, Tyson Kidd and Adrian Neville

Tweet 3: I assume Titus O'Neil needs to learn how to work.

Tweet 4: Guy in a WCW T-shirt there. Maybe Triple H is selling them from a car boot outside the building.
Tweet 5: Titus's promo was not good. They may be going too far with this spirit of WCW thing...

The lads.

Tweet 6: I was hoping The Charisma Vacuum Kidd would be disappearing after Takeover. Guess not.
Tweet 7: Nice blend of placing the importance on the title and integrating Big Titus here.
Tweet 8: #bestforbusiness
Tweet 9: Billy Regal with a Teddy Long special there. "Tag team match, playas! Holla holla holla!"
Tweet 10: I'm expecting wonderfully botchy things from Rich Brennan.

Charlotte v Emma

Tweet 11: This is the first time I can remember seeing Emma since... The Incident.

Tweet 12: Crime doesn't pay. Which means Emma's going to lose this.
Tweet 13: Renee Young putting Emma over as someone on RAW and SmackDown. When, Renee? When is Emma on those shows?

If DC ever do a Power Girl film they could do worse than cast Emma.

Tweet 14: I'm really beginning to like Charlotte. I like the little bubble burst taunt she did with the figure four headlock there.
Tweet 15: Charlotte needs to learn how to do a Flair flop.
Tweet 16: I like Emma and I like Charlotte but that match was a rough watch too often.

Justin Gabriel v Hideo Itami

Tweet 17: The instantly recognisable entrance music of Justin Gabriel.

Tweet 18: “Japanese style.”
Tweet 19: Brennan is describing suplexes instead of naming them. Michael Cole school of commentary graduate I reckon.

Gabriel bracing like a trooper.

Tweet 20: Gabriel lost? I am stunned.
Tweet 21: I can confidently say that that was the best Hideo Itami match EVER.
Tweet 22: The Legion of Ascension there, reminding everyone that they don't like Itami.
Tweet 23: A-Ry mentions "dizzying highs and lows." No idea what he's referring to.

CJ Parker v Baron Corbin

Tweet 24: Beating CJ Parker earned Baron Corbin a televised entrance.

Tweet 25: "Let's not lose focus of the fact that CJ Parker, he's a player here in NXT" - Renee Young
Tweet 26: Corbin beat him again. So now he's a megaplayer.

Big Cass films Enzo Amore work out before the pair are accosted by their hairdresser pal Carmella

Tweet 27: Enzo's hairdresser is coming in as a wrestler. I'm sure hilarity will ensue.

Tweet 28: Enzo and Cass are great but I'm not feeling this iPhone filming stuff. They work better, as most wrestlers do, with a crowd to play off.

Tyson Kidd and Titus O’Neil v Sami Zayn and Adrian Neville

Tweet 29: Hey look, it's Tyson Kidd being a cocky heel who isn't cocky because he has no personality!

Tweet 30: Titus and Tyson should team up with Tyler Breeze and Tye Dillinger for a faction based on first name alliteration.
Tweet 31: Neville tags himself in before Zayn can do anything. U mad bro?
Tweet 32: "Better than Neville!" chant there. Turn him. The crowd will love it.

Tyson Kidd with a scintillating headlock there.

Tweet 33: Zayn blocking Neville from doing a dive as a call back to Takeover is the sort of storytelling WWE should do more of.
Tweet 34: "You can't teach that!" - Alex Riley reminding us that strength can't be taught
Tweet 35: Titus should start hanging people in a tree of woe and calling it the tree of Titus.
Tweet 36: Was Titus meant to be doing shoulder blocks, head-butts or clotheslines there?
Tweet 37: A-Ry says Titus has a million dollar body...
Tweet 38: Alex, if you're trying to drop a millions of dollars reference you need to really go for it. Otherwise you sound like an idiot.
Tweet 39: Oh noes! Zayn inadvertently distracted the ref and the heels stole a victory!!1!
Tweet 40: If Triple H wants to make NXT more like WCW then Zayn and Nev should win the tag titles before their feud goes further.

SmackTalk 21.02.14

For the final (relatively) significant piece of WWE television to air before the arrival of The WWE Network SmackDown felt anti-climactic. The new streaming service was, to the best of my recollection, not mentioned once and the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view was half-hearted. It was as though WWE were producing a piece of television by the numbers. While that’s nothing new I would have expected their final non-Network era piece of work to be more meaningful.

As understated as the show was it was still enjoyable. The opening two matches in particular were very good. The first saw Daniel Bryan defeat Jack Swagger relatively quickly with a running knee. The second also featured Bryan, this time tangling with his old indy foe ‘Don’t Call Him Antonio’ Cesaro. That one got longer and was more enjoyable, even though it saw Bryan writhing in pain for a lot of its run time.

The main event, Christian v Sheamus, wasn’t bad but wasn’t especially good either. It was a standard match from the two men. That they’re deemed worthy of headlining SmackDown demonstrates how little effort is put into the programme these days. The same match closing RAW simply wouldn’t happen.

A better choice for the main event would have been the lively six man tag that pitted Erick Rowan, Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt against Goldust, Cody Rhodes, and Rey Mysterio. The Wyatts are easily as over an act as either Christian or Sheamus, Goldust and Cody aren’t far behind and Rey Mysterio, for all he’s falling apart and passed his best, can still excel in multi-man showings. It was the best match on the show.

Opening

Tweet 1: It's SmackTalk time!
Tweet 2: Nothing says B show like a Christian v Sheamus main event.

Daniel Bryan v Jack Swagger

Tweet 3: But don't worry, Daniel Bryan's in the opener! "Why put the most over man in the company on last?" he asked rhetorically.

Tweet 4: Lengthy recaps of RAW happenings. Never a good sign. Still, it's nice to see Kane wrestling in his vest again.
Tweet 5: Swagger v Bryan? And we could have had Cesaro v Bryan. #continueddisappointmentofSwaggersexistence
Tweet 6: Anyone else noticed that Zeb Colter usually wears a tie? I like that. So few people dress for ringside anymore.
Tweet 7: Just look at Jerry Lawler.
Tweet 8: Actually, don’t.
Tweet 9: I still don't understand why The Real Americans aren't wrestling in red, white and blue gear. Natural fit for their characters.
Tweet 10: Swagger's working the injured arm but I bet he'll still try the ankle lock at some point.
Tweet 11: Swagger gets randomly belted with the knee then loses. Completely unsurprising result.

Daniel Bryan v Cesaro

Tweet 12: Oh look, it’s Rita Repulsa!

Tweet 13: Oh we ARE getting Bryan v Cesaro? Delightful.

Bryan v Cesaro never gets old

Tweet 14: JBL says it's best for business. I think that line's played out by WWE. Does Triple H even say it anymore?
Tweet 15: How many times has Vickie Guerrero been the SmackDown general manager? It's got to be at least four.
Tweet 16: Michael Cole concedes that, on paper, Bryan v Cesaro is best for business.
Tweet 17: "Whaddaya doing, Jack?" - Unbiased commentator Michael Cole
Tweet 18: "No! No!" - Jack Swagger, misunderstanding the concept of yes chants
Tweet 19: Why was Kane's walk down to ringside not televised? That could have been a highlight of this show.
Tweet 20: Why refer to your most popular wrestler as a gnome and a farm animal?
Tweet 21: Small package followed by a Swiss Death European uppercut. Good exchange. Nice that those moves are now established as convincing finishes.
Tweet 22: Kane interferes. What a bad dude. I'm pretty much convinced he's going to do the same at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 23: I'm getting worried that WWE are planning Kane v Bryan at WrestleMania. The correct use of Bryan at 'Mania is a triple threat title match.

Christian speaks to Renee Young backstage

Tweet 24: Christian getting some boos there.

Tweet 25: 'The Man of the Peeps' lashing out at the fans there. No reason for it beyond reminding us he's a heel now.
Tweet 26: I'm bored of all WWE heels sounding the same.

The Wyatt Family v Goldust, Cody Rhodes and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 27: JBL is wearing a polka dot tie and a checked shirt. Not cool, bro. #fashionsense

Tweet 28: The Wyatt Family are being booed. What exactly have they done or said to make them heels?
Tweet 29: Bray Wyatt: king of nonsense.
Tweet 30: Remember when Mysterio and Cody Rhodes hated each other and Dusty came in to betray his pal for his son? Well now they're tagging together.
Tweet 31: I miss Goldust’s pink gloves.
Tweet 32: "Constantly talking in riddles..." - Michael Cole on Bray Wyatt. I think he was thinking of The Riddler
Tweet 33: Goldust needs a better brand of face paint. The one he currently uses is always running. Maybe put in a call to Prince Devitt...
Tweet 34: Goldy gets the hot tag to Cody. Has Rey even been in this match yet?
Tweet 35: Ah he's just tagged in. Knee status: frisky.
Tweet 36: I couldn't be more pleased that Harper escaped the 619. Mysterio is a smug little ferret who needs taking down a peg.
Tweet 37: Erick Rowan is tossing Rey Mysterio around in a bear hug. It's not particularly interesting but bless 'im for trying.
Tweet 38: "He's like a member of the MENSA society" - Michael Cole on... wait for it... Bray Wyatt

FYI: Rey Mysterio's outfit was modeled on the Swiss flag

Tweet 39: Goldust is the most over man on his team. WWE need to find a way of transferring some of that reaction to Cody permanently before they split.
Tweet 40: Tasty little springboard from Cody there.
Tweet 41: Great finishing sequence to that match. Lots going on and people being taken out. Right result too: Wyatt over Goldust with Sister Abigail.

Sheamus speaks to Byron Saxon backstage

Tweet 42: Sheamus, cut back on the hair gel, yeah?
Tweet 43: "A fired up Christian is just what the doctor ordered!" - Sheamus, revealing his view on America's leading religion

Renee Young hosts a dance off involving Emma, Santino, Summer Rae and Faaaaaan… daaaaaan… goooooo

Tweet 44: Emma and Santino... *rolls eyes*

Tweet 45: Renee Young's hosting the dance off, so it's not all bad.
Tweet 46: And in fairness I love me some Fandango.
Tweet 47: I wasn't that into this crowd to begin with but they've completely lost by not humming Fandango's music.
Tweet 48: Cole's feigned enjoyment of Emma's dancing is nauseating.
Tweet 49: #hipaction
Tweet 50: Forget Bryan, Fandango v Santino needs to be the WrestleMania main event! #grudgematch

Titus O’Neil v Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 51: I'm still a fan of Titus O'Neil even though he's not going anywhere as a singles wrestler.

Tweet 52: Darren Young's on commentary claiming that The Prime Time Players were the roughest and toughest tag team in WWE. He is incorrect.
Tweet 53: This match is a waste of Dolph Ziggler.
Tweet 54: Darren 'You Know What?" Young.
Tweet 55: Nice that Ziggler won but doing it off a WHISTLE distraction? C'mon, WWE.

Road Dogg v Jimmy Uso

Tweet 56: The Usos gets a televised entrance but the Outlaws don't? Poor...

Tweet 57: It says something about the younger members of the WWE roster that Road Dogg has worked the crowd better than anyone else on this show.
Tweet 58: Yes, including Bryan. He's more over than Road Dogg but he was selling for most of his matches. There wasn't much interaction there.
Tweet 59: Road Dogg loses. That makes me think the Outlaws will be winning at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 60: So does Michael Cole saying that the Usos have the Outlaws' number.

Sheamus v Christian

Tweet 61: FELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

Tweet 62: "Sheamus is out there, cue up the piped in crowd noise, quick!"
Tweet 63: After my comments about Road Dogg's crowd interactions it's probably fair to point at that Sheamus is also doing well in that area.

Tweet 64: Who does Michael Cole think has the most momentum going into the Chamber match? Cesaro...

Tweet 65: Even if that were true (it's not) Cesaro ain't winning the WWE title at EC.
Tweet 66: Orton's never won a Chamber match. That's another reason to predict a victory for him.
Tweet 67: Why did Sheamus take a bump near the timekeeper's table? He wanted to look up Lilian Garcia's dress. #filthySheamus
Tweet 68: It sounded like Sheamus just shouted "I'm Irish!"
Tweet 69: JBL's sports guru gimmick is annoying.
Tweet 70: Mostly because he only knows things because he looks them up specially on Wikipedia, as opposed to having a genuine interest.
Tweet 71: JBL thinks Christian is bad looking. What he needs is a blue dot over his face...
Tweet 72: Tornado DDT being countered into the Irish Curse was nice.
Tweet 73: Anyone who thought Christian would win doesn't know WWE. 
Tweet 74: SmackDown ends with Sheamus hitting his own chest and then being knocked out of the ring by Christian.

It was never going to end well for Christian

Tweet 75: Maybe 'The Celtic Warrior' will be the man jobbed out by Lesnar at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 76: I don't want to see that. Because ti will almost certainly mean we're getting Lesnar v Shaymo.