The Matador Gimmick

You know how sometimes you'll have an idea and you'll think you should share it with the world before someone else does it? Yeah. That.

A few years ago I had an idea for a really gimmicky wrestling character. I've continually put off mentioning it anywhere because I wanted to save it and ensure it had maximum impact when it was finally used. In hindsight this was a stupid decision. It's not like I'm ever going to book an actual wrestling company. The closest I'll come is fantasy booking blog posts and they're not the sort of place to use this idea. Waiting hasn't saved the idea, it's simply allowed actual wrestling companies enough time to beat me to it. I should've known that would happen. I've watched the sport long enough to know that sooner or later everything gets turned into a gimmick.

The promotion that's beaten me to this incredible idea is WWE (hey, they'd already been there before with Tito Santana). On Monday's RAW they aired an introductory vignette for a new tag team called Los Matadores. It's basically a repackaging of the previously directionless Epico and Primo into bullfighters. It appears to be a comedy gimmick, which is good because outside of CHIKARA or a crazier Japanese promotion I couldn’t see it working as anything else.

 

This seems good, but I had something better

 

For the record I think this is a good move. Epico and Primo are talented guys but they failed to stand out. A bullfighting gimmick isn't the sort of thing that will take them to the top but it helps them distinguishable from their peers. More lower card guys in WWE would benefit from this treatment.

The idea I had was for a singles wrestler, dressed as a matador. He wouldn't just have been a matador though. Oh no. He would also have carried an encyclopaedia to the ring to show he was an intellectual. And to give him a handy foreign object.

Before each match he would have asked a member of the audience to ask him a question, at random, using the encyclopaedia. He'd either have answered it correctly or turned the question back on the audience member and used it as a way of insulting the town he were in. I’d have had him wrestling like a matador, sidestepping opponents with a heelish flourish. That's not something I'm expecting from Los Matadores.

This may sound a little strange and peculiar and ultimately pointless and I suppose it is. Without any sort of context explaining the concept of a wrestling gimmick is a little pointless. But you've not heard the name yet. It's the character's name that I was most proud of and the name that I think could have made it work.

The name was... wait for it... The Mind-Over-Matador.

Thank you for your time.

The Longest Short Reign

When Daniel Bryan and Kane won the WWE tag team titles at last September's Night of Champions I didn't think I'd still be discussing their reign seven months later. As high profile wrestlers doing the feuding partners routine it seemed safe to assume that the pair would drop the gold to a more conventional combo after a short run together, going on either to resume their feud or being given something new to do. The latter of those is what I was hoping for.

Instead Bryan and Kane have continued to win as a team and keep hold of the straps long after their appeal has waned. The smart thing to do would have been introducing one or two fresh teams to the division while people were still interested in Team Hell No as a unit, leaving guys to inherit a hot and interesting division after the champs lost and split. The Rhodes Scholars were introduced but their push has been fumbled even more badly than Kane and Bryan's. They should have been the guys to replace 'The Big Red Machine' and 'The World's Toughest Vegan'.

Heyman describes Lesnar and Punk as 'The Beast' and 'The Best', epithets that are applicable here too

The Rhodes Scholars have been harmed by their ridiculous split and reunion between Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. The Prime Time Players, a team that has seemed on the cusp of winning the tag belts for a year now, have been moved away from the champions. They're wrestling just as much as they ever have but they're no longer being presented as any sort of threat to the tag titles.

Epico and Primo seem unlikely to get a win over genuine stars any time in the foreseeable future. Brodus Clay and Tensai (or Sweet T) have the size to be taken seriously, and a slightly more advantageous spot on the card than E&P, but even they seem unlikely to be the next champions.

The likeliest successors to Kane and Bryan right now appear to be Dolph Ziggler and Big E Langston. Not only are they good enough wrestlers to be the champions but Ziggler's star profile gives them a very strong chance. It's status on the roster, more than anything else, that determines title reigns in WWE.

What makes a Dolph and Big E win at WrestleMania slightly least likely is the Money in the Bank briefcase. 'The Show Off' is expected to cash in at 'Mania and leave as World Heavyweight champion. Making DZ a double champion would be a great way to make him look a star and could even lead to a return of his late 2011 gimmick of working twice on each pay-per-views. Unfortunately making someone a double champion would go against WWE's current approach to championship. Having Ziggler as a tag champ could also dilute the importance of his WHC win, and the prestige of that title is getting pretty flimsy as it is.

But if it's not Langston and Ziggler that beat Team Hell No then who will?

SmackTalk 24.08.12

On Thursday night I dreamt about Booker T.

I went to his house and had a conversation with him while sitting on his staircase. He had a cream coloured carpet. I told him that I missed him calling SmackDown. As I was leaving a graphic appeared in the lower right corner of my vision advertising a Kane v Booker T match. The words “Up Next” were displayed.

I then heard Michael Cole’s voice. It was not necessarily in my head, it was as though what I’d just lived through were now a backstage vignette. He described Kane as a “dangerous new threat” to Booker T. Then I woke up.

None of this has anything to do with SmackDown. I thought it would make a nice addition to the recap.

This week saw the boring feud between Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio rumble on. I had hoped SummerSlam would mark the end of it but it appears it will continue for at least another month. I’ve written several times that both men would benefit from fresh opponents. I still think it.

Del Rio versus a tweener Daniel Bryan could be fun and should provide some excellent matches, while ‘The Celtic Warrior’ would be the ideal opponent for the soon-to-return Wade Barrett. This rivalry has been going for close to half a year and they rarely produce anything other than a satisfactory bout.

While Night of Champions is currently set to see a singles match between ‘The Great White’ and ADR the booking of this week’s SmackDown makes me think ‘The Viper’ will be added to make the match a triple threat. The addition of Randy Orton to proceedings could freshen things up but it won’t take away from the fact that we’ve seen Del Rio and Sheamus clash many times before.

It’s looking as though Orton will be clashing with Dolph Ziggler at some point in the not too distant future but I don’t think it will be at NOC. I think the triple threat idea I more likely. A scenario that sees ‘The Show Off’ cost Orton the match would create a reason for the two to face off at Hell in a Cell in October.

SmackDown boasted some pretty good undercard segments.

Ryback trounced Jinder Mahal. Hopefully that match will mark the end of their dispute. As a short rivalry to give Ryback something to do and bring out a little more of his personality it worked well. He sold a little too much for my liking but working against an unlikeable fella like Mahal has helped him to get over. His various catchphrases are working well for him.

While I didn’t really acknowledge it when tweeting I thought the tag match pitting Epico and Primo against Kofi Kingston and R-Truth was very enjoyable. I hope the rumoured multi-team match at Night of Champions includes both units alongside Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. The Prime Time Players would likely get the final spot but I think it would be better given to the Usos. The PTPs would benefit from having a pay-per-view off and doing a run-in after the match instead.

Santino’s “comedy” promo was given far too much time but the appearance of Antonio Cesaro rescued things. As much as I find Santino irritating I think he’s a great opponent for ‘The Swiss Superman’: because he’s so over audiences sympathise with him, which means they react more to Cesaro’s heelish antics.

As decent as this week’s SmackDown was, it couldn’t compare to a dream about Booker T. Things don’t get much better than that.

Video recapping the events of the Alberto Del Rio v Sheamus feud

Tweet 1: Ooooh... tense stuff at the start. Serious announcer guy recapping the whacky finish to the SummerSlam World title match.

Tweet 2: Del Rio wants answers. Sadly all Booker T has are questions.

Randy Orton promo, featuring Sheamus, Booker T and Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 3: Orton promo. This looks bad. It will sound bad too...

Tweet 4: "My name is Randy Orton." He should have followed that with "But you already know that!"
Tweet 5: Orton is talking about the internet. I think the world may explode.
Tweet 6: FELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHH!!
Tweet 7: Here's Booker. Get ready for some LOLage.
Tweet 8: ADR says the ref robbed him. At this point I'd happily watch a Del Rio v Chioda feud over more of his matches with Sheamus.
Tweet 9: I think Del Rio just said Hooker T.
Tweet 10: The good thing about Booker being GM is that we get to hear his entrance music every week.
Tweet 11: Jazz Mathews.

Ryback v Jinder Mahal

Tweet 12: Ryback, wearing a fresh singlet and entering to new music. Believe it or not he's singing on this track.

Tweet 13: As far as promos go Ryback is a modern day Ultimate Warrior.
Tweet 14: The "Feed me more!" catchphrase is over. The fans love them some Ryback.
Tweet 15: Ryback doesn't march around the ring before hitting his finisher. He wades.

Alicia Fox v Layla

Tweet 16: Alicia Fox gyrating like a stripper in the ring. She's a great role model.

Tweet 17: I like Kaitlyn but she may not have been the best choice of guest commentator for this match.
Tweet 18: "... she deserved to eliminate herself like she did last night in the battle royal" - Kaitlyn, inadvertently admitting SmackDown is taped
Tweet 19: Random Eve appearance. Why not? If they change their minds about the direction of the feud they can forget it happened. Not like this is RAW.

Where are they going with this?

Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero gloat backstage

Tweet 20: Ziggler's backstage at SmackDown. #goodtimes #ShowOff #heelsdoitbetter

Tweet 21: Teddy Long appears. Is he going to make a tag match?
Tweet 22: No, he’s not. He made a non-title Ziggler v Sheamus match for tonight's show. Prediction: Ziggler will lose. There will be no cash-in.
Tweet 23: There will be a fake attempt though.

Sin Cara v Heath Slater

Tweet 24: Cody Rhodes is about to commentate a Sin Cara match. That will be the highlight. Cara is a terrible little botch machine of a wrestler.

Tweet 25: Heath Slater's not much better but at least he's funny.

Tweet 26: ACTIVATE THE MURKY LIGHTING!
Tweet 27: "Sin Cara excites the WWE Universe" - Michael Cole, lying
Tweet 28: I hate Sin Cara's 80s style mannerisms.
Tweet 29: Rhodes twists Cara's mask around, blocking his vision and allowing Slater to win.
Tweet 30: Even when the mask is on right Cara's eyes are covered. How does he see? Maybe he's blind and wrestles using sonar. Like a bat.

Dolph Ziggler v Sheamus

Tweet 31: Arrive. Ask "How damn good am I?" Leave.

Tweet 32: Why is Vickie Guerrero on commentary? Why isn't Christian just calling the entire show? Why am I listening to Michael Cole?
Tweet 33: They're not calling the action. Cole is just prattling away about Booker T being GM.
Tweet 34: "Tell us about the public celebration you and Dolph had once Chris Jericho was banished from WWE" - Michael Cole, refusing to call a match
Tweet 35: MOI NAME IS SHAYMUSS AN' OI LOIKE TO PUNCH PEEPUL IN THE CHEST TEN TOIMES!!
Tweet 36: Here's the teased cash-in I called earlier. This will be a regular feature of WWE television for a while yet.

Dolph Ziggler gives us the first fake cash-in of the night

Santino promo, featuring Antonio Cesaro

Tweet 37: What does it say for SummerSlam that one of its best matches was broadcast on YouTube?

Tweet 38: Santino promos bore me. I want Cesaro to come out and uppercut him.
Tweet 39: Is this the beginning of a Santino v Cobra feud? If it's not it should be.
Tweet 40: I love Cesaro's walk. It's as though he's too burdened with muscles to be able to move properly.
Tweet 41: Yes, it's Antonio Cesaro. Heeey!! #veryEuropean
Tweet 42: Interesting that Santino's right hand is obsessed with Aksana. Says a lot about his love life. #PGera

Kofi Kingston and R-Truth v Epico and Primo

Tweet 43: Darren Young and Titus O'Neil are on commentary. This won't go well...

Tweet 44: At least AW's not around. If he hadn't been fired before he certainly would be after a stint alongside Cole...

This is what people watch SmackDown for

Tweet 45: Titus sounds like he has a mouthful of gravel, treacle and wasps. Who decided to give him a microphone?
Tweet 46: Titus is now doing impressions of Booker T. I didn’t think things could get worse. I was wrong.
Tweet 47: Name of R-Truth's finisher this week: Jimmy Time.

Matt Striker interviews Kingston and Truth backstage before several other teams show up to ruck

Tweet 48: Four teams have shown up backstage to claim a shot at Kingston and Truth. All it did was emphasise how few duos there actually are in WWE.

Tweet 49: Of the teams that were present I'd like to see Gabriel and Kidd face Kingston and Truth at Night of Champions.

Booker T, Eve and Teddy long discuss the tag team division

Tweet 50: Eve has compiled win-loss records for all of those teams. #nerd

Tweet 51: We didn't learn which team has had the most wins. That's because someone in WWE would have actually had to work it out.

Alberto Del Rio v Randy Orton

Tweet 52: The commentator for the main event? Sheamus. WWE seem to have gone out of their way to pick the worst possible people to work with Cole.

Tweet 53: Albertoooooooooo Delllllllllll Riiiiiiiooooooooooo!!
Tweet 54: I wonder how much ADR pays to have those license plates with his logo on them.
Tweet 55: Nothing gets heat from a crowd like slapping your own chest and grimacing.
Tweet 56: I'd love it if Sheamus turned to Cole and said "What makes Del Rio such a tough opponent is that he works stiff."
Tweet 57: Reference to the car hood attack from Cole there. Sheamus didn't acknowledge it, just like he didn't sell the incident when it happened.
Tweet 58: ADR is working the left arm. For some reason this has reminded me Jarrett used to do that in '99. He'd then use a Figure Four as a finish.
Tweet 59: I think that's part of the reason I dislike Jeff Jarrett. Poor psychology.
Tweet 60: Orton tapped to the cross armbreaker? I didn't see THAT coming. How often does 'The Viper' lose clean?
Tweet 61: Hilariously Ricardo is now handing ADR his shoes to be lobbed at Sheamus.
Tweet 62: Sheamus won't sell a car bonnet be closed on his skull but he will sell a shoe to the chest.
Tweet 63: Another fake cash-in? This is getting out of hand. #lazybooking
Tweet 64: RKO to Ziggler. Guess that'll set up a Sheamus and Orton versus Del Rio and Ziggler match for next week.
Tweet 65: If that leads to a Ziggler v Orton singles feud I'll be happy.

Prime Time Comedy

Last Friday WWE released Brian ‘Abraham Washington’ Jossie from his contract. The only thing that surprises me about the situation is the amount of time it took.

The reason for his release is no secret. On the July 30^th edition of Monday Night RAW (episode 1001, fact fans,) during a match between the Prime Time Players and Epico and Primo, AW made an inappropriate joke over the microphone about NBA player Kobe Bryant and rape. After realising how inappropriate the comment was AW fell silent for a few moments.

He eventually regained his composure and continued making less controversial remarks from his station at ringside. After the match he headed backstage and immediately apologised to WWE management and the performers who had been in the segment with him. Meanwhile the job of apologising to viewers was left to commentator Michael Cole. The promotion also released a formal apology after RAW went off the air via TMZ.

The brass were said to be furious with the All World proprietor, which is understandable, but the fact that he was wired up with a microphone headset at the following evening’s SmackDown taping indicated that no serious action would be taken against him.

AW has stated that there was no malicious intent behind the remark. I believe him. That still doesn’t mean it was something that could or should be overlooked.

Since being released on Friday Brian ‘AW’ Jossie has mentioned various instances of similarly controversial matterial broadcast by WWE. The examples he has given have included another comment made about Bryant by Big Show on a 2003 episode of SmackDown, John Cena making homophobic slurs (which he did regularly up until a year or so ago), fat jokes directed at Vickie Guerrero, and Vince McMahon poking fun at Bells Palsy sufferer Jim Ross.

He’s correct. None of the above should have been aired. But it doesn’t excuse his mistake, nor does pointing it out mean he will be rehired. The fact is that the above examples have not resulted in formal reprimands or firings for a reason.

Vince McMahon is the boss. As such he will do and say whatever he likes on WWE television. If he makes a comment that causes a severe backlash against the company he will issue an apology but won’t be fired. That covers the fat jokes too: they are made at Vince’s direction because it amuses him.

As for John Cena: it would take a lot for WWE to fire him. If he made a similar remark it’s likely the most he’d receive is a fine and a suspension. As WWE’s biggest merchandise seller his position within the promotion is as safe as an active wrestler’s can be.

As for Big Show making a similar comment: not only was he a more valuable performer to WWE in 2003 than Jossie is in 2012 but it was made before WWE’s shift to PG. It is the responsibility of the performer to think about whether what they’re saying will fit with the tone and direction of the company when they have a microphone in their hand.

AW wasn't an integral part of the act: he didn't even dance!

The comment had caused only a relatively minor media backlash against the federation but it wasn’t AW’s only blunder. He had also sent out a message via Twitter stating that he and the Prime Time Players supported Linda McMahon’s recent political campaign. He ended said tweet with the unorthodox hashtag “#voteordie4linda.”

Whether it was meant in jest or not doesn’t matter: it was a stupid thing to do and Jossie should understand that. He has been released in order to safeguard Linda’s political aspirations. All WWE employees are well aware of Linda’s senate campaign and should understand that it means WWE is being extra cautious regarding their media image. The guy has nobody to blame but himself.

I imagine Darren Young and Titus O’Neil will be largely unharmed by this unforeseen setback. Young is decent enough on the microphone to handle promo duties for the pair but if WWE is desperate for them to have a second then they can simply promote someone else from developmental. Byron Saxton could work in the role. Or perhaps Rosa Mendes could turn on Epico and Primo.

Whatever direction is taken with that unit I imagine it will be the original plan. The loss of a manager isn’t enough to alter WWE’s plans for the tag belts.

         
What’s next for Brian ‘AW’ Jossie? According to some the fact that he has been vocal about his release may help him to regain his job once things have blown over. Apparently Vince doesn’t rehire people who just accept a sacking. To me this seems unlikely, at least for the time being. While I can imagine this being Vince’s logic I just don’t think the promotion would be desperate to reintroduce a manager to TV.

AW’s promotion from developmental earlier in the year could be considered a test to see whether or not the manager role would still work in 2012. I believe AW did a good job in the position and made the Prime Time Players a more palatable act but he was far from a revelation. It’s difficult to imagine any decision makers in WWE desperate to have a bit-part player back on TV.

If he’s going to remain relevant within the wrestling business the most obvious place for him to seek employment is TNA. I think the chances of him getting a gig there are good. Not only is he a former WWE performer but he’s a decent talker and could perhaps attract some media attention (this is TNA, they don’t care whether media attention is good or bad).

Most importantly the soon-to-debut Aces and Eights faction provides an excellent way to introduce him. Apparently the gang is going to have a big role at Bound for Glory. AW’s no compete clause will expire around a month after that event. It would take very little effort for him to be built up as one of the mastermind’s of the angle and be revealed on an episode of IMPACT in mid-November.

The man himself has talked about pursuing a career in comedy. Judging by how well his comment on July 30^th was received I’d advise against it.

SmackTalk 20.07.12

Compared to recent episodes this week’s SmackDown was a solid effort. We were treated to two lengthy tag team bouts, an enjoyable segment featuring over stars, and a Kane bout that was actually entertaining. You can’t say fairer than that.

There are, regrettably, a few negatives to be mentioned. The lack of Ryback after he’d handily dealt with both members of the MidCard Mafia at Money in the Bank felt like a blown opportunity. Was it really too much for WWE to book him to beat three jobbers this week? That seems the next natural step now that he’s proven he can handle combos from the main roster. Once he’s finished handling trios? Move him on to matches with mid-carders and have him squash them, then get him into a feud with a world champion.

I also thought that the Damien Sandow v Zack Ryder match was an anti-climax. A feud between those two has been teased for around a month now and while having ‘The Self-Proclaimed Intellectual Saviour of the Masses’ beat Ryder in under three minutes gets him over it doesn’t do ‘Long Island Iced Z’ any favours.

As that match began I tweeted that with a little care and attention the two could actually provide a worthwhile mid-card entry at this year’s SummerSlam. Having Ryder beaten so easily makes that a much harder prospect now. It made Sandow look good this week, but a similar outing on a pay-per-view would have done more for him long term.

It’s another case of WWE rushing a potentially enjoyable story.

Finally, it’s distressing, but not surprising, that Tyson Kidd has not had a meaningful appearance on the blue brand since qualifying for Money in the Bank. His entry into the ladder battle surprised and excited a lot of people. WWE seems uninterested in capitalising on this popularity and handing Kidd a proper push. Again, with a little work he could be involved in a credible mid-card match at SummerSlam.

Despite these criticisms I feel the goods outweighed the bads. The eight man tag match pitting Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Epico and Primo against Huncio, Camacho and the Prime Time Players was given enough time to actually mean something and everyone involved did themselves proud. More booking like that and WWE could have a tag team division worth talking about again.

The subsequent squash of everyone except the PTPs by the Big Show could be viewed as a negative but frankly the doubles scene means so little, and Show has been booked to dominate these men previously so many times, that it didn’t do any harm at all. I still perceive the men ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’ KO’d in exactly the same light as I did before.

Daniel Bryan and AJ entered enjoyable performances in a mildly confusing Peep Show. Christian, a babyface, came across as a bad guy during his grilling of the apparently happy couple. Bryan and AJ are both in tweener territory, meaning that they (or at least Bryan) should have been booked a little more heelishly. Christian was far too antagonistic and Bryan too sympathetic. At least Kane got a pop when he came out, I suppose.

The headline bout of Sheamus and Rey Mysterio v Dolph Ziggler and Alberto Del Rio was good until the finish. Disqualifications are rarely satisfying, and this was no exception. In fairness it was done for a reason: to keep the feud between ‘The Essence of Excellence’ and ‘Great White’ alive for SummerSlam. The post-match sequence in which an attempted Ziggler cash-in was thwarted by Mysterio was similarly designed to keep ‘The Show Off’ in the World title picture and create a reason for Mysterio to be involved in time for SummerSlam too.

Rey Mysterio is the reason Dolph Ziggler is not the World Heavyweight champion right now

Right now I’m expecting the four men to clash for the World Heavyweight championship on that show. It could be an enjoyable match, despite the already lengthy Sheamus v Del Rio feud and the fact that ADR and Mysterio have clashed many times previously.

An early prediction if that four-way does get booked: Sheamus will retain and ‘The Show Off’ will use his Money in the Bank contract to win the gold in an instant rematch. You heard it here first.

Rey Mysterio promo, featuring Alberto Del Rio, Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus

Tweet 1: SmackDown! Here we go then...

Tweet 2: Rey Mysterio opens the show. Bad booking, you say?
Tweet 3: He's wearing the outfit he wore during his return run-in on RAW. Lazy Mysterio...
Tweet 4: Mysterio v ADR at SummerSlam? Is that what we're getting? How about something fresh?!
Tweet 5: Rey's come out to say officially that he's back. Great.
Tweet 6: Del Rio, wearing a snazzy suit and scarf combo. I like the scarf gimmick and the fact that it's lasted for so long.
Tweet 7: Four-way between ADR, Sheamus, Mysterio and Ziggler would be good for SummerSlam. Or a three way without 'The Show Off'...
Tweet 8: ... with him cashing in after.
Tweet 9: Speak of the devil.
Tweet 10: Teasing a Ziggler face turn? I'm down with that.
Tweet 11: Sheamus has a lot of hip action when he walks briskly. #butch
Tweet 12: Sheamus just garbled out some words. The only thing I understood was "Pacific Ocean."
Tweet 13: Peep Show with Daniel Bryan and AJ. That should be a highlight.
Tweet 14: The predictable Sheamus and Rey v ADR and Ziggler tag match has been made. BUT WHO BY?!

Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Epico and Primo v Hunico, Camacho, and the Prime Time Players

Tweet 15: Darren Young has some moves. Hunico and Camacho don't even have an entrance...

Tweet 16: How do you tell Epico and Primo apart? They have their names written on their bibs. It's simple really.
Tweet 17: Eight man tag. When was the last time you saw one of these in WWE?
Tweet 18: So is Kofi friends with Epico and Primo now? Guess that feud they had going has been forgotten since E&P turned.
Tweet 19: The commentary team have not acknowledged Hunico's previous alliance with Epico and Primo. I'm not surprised.
Tweet 20: "The tag division getting good around here, Book" - Michael Cole on the four average or thrown together teams in the match
Tweet 21: An ad break always restores order in an unruly tag bout. Always.
Tweet 22: Camacho's getting a lot of time in this match.
Tweet 23: How do you get someone over as a powerhouse? Book them to do a spinebuster on someone smaller than them.
Tweet 24: Titus is stiffing Kofi. He looks reckless.
Tweet 25: Everyone runs into the ring. Cut to another break! That'll restore order...
Tweet 26: What was that move that Young hit as Primo (or Epico) fell off the top meant to be? Didn't connect whatever it was.

Post-match Big Show appearance

Tweet 27: Big Show's here to job out some tag teams. That's how to get your doubles division over.

Tweet 28: Show just choke slammed Hunico and Camacho together. Does that signal a face turn for them?
Tweet 29: Big Show has a microphone. He needs to cut a promo declaring himself the sole tag team champion.
Tweet 30: He said. "And? What?" My idea would have been better.

The obligatory Cena recap segment

Tweet 31: Cena's cash-in has been described by Josh as the most prestigious in history. Not doing Ziggler any favours there, is he?

Tweet 32: "What a week for John Cena!" - Josh Mathews on what happened to Cena in a 24 hour period

Damien Sandow v Zack Ryder

Tweet 33: Sandow is not a fan of Ryder.

Tweet 34: I don't understand why this segment wasn't book on last week's show when 'Long Island Iced Z' was in charge. That would've made more sense.
Tweet 35: With a bit of thought and effort this feud could be built up for SummerSlam. Both men would benefit from being on that card.
Tweet 36: It'd help WWE if they got over. Why not let them? Sandow in particular has main event potential.
Tweet 37: That SS bout won't happen now. Sandow just jobbed out Ryder in around two minutes. Good performance from Damien. Aggressive heels are good.

Peep Show, with guests AJ and Daniel Bryan

Tweet 38: Peep Show. That's right, Christian, get your meaningless belt into shot.

Tweet 39: Seeing this recap of the proposal segment has put one thought into my mind: AJ has surprisingly chubby hands.
Tweet 40: $20,000 ring? Yeah, and The Rock's shirts really used to cost $500...
Tweet 41: Bryan is hilarious in this wedding planning video! Highlight? Putting a submission hold on a teddy bear.
Tweet 42: True love? If this doesn't end with some sort of swerve turn (preferably from Bryan) I will feel cheated.
Tweet 43: Christian is coming across as a heel here.
Tweet 44: 'Captain Charisma' tells Bryan that he has a match. Bryan acts surprised yet he's wearing his wrestling gear. Hmmmm...

The Peep Show was decent, but I'd rather see Bryan and Christian in a match

Kane v Daniel Bryan

Tweet 45: Yes kicks!

Tweet 46: Have people always used that campy jump counter to the choke slam? Strikes me as something that's come up in the last few years.
Tweet 47: Kane wins via DQ after AJ chucks herself onto his back.
Tweet 48: I'm now expecting Kane to involve himself in the wedding segment on Monday. I hope we're not getting a Kane v Bryan feud.

Heath Slater v Road Warrior Animal

Tweet 49: Slater cowbell!

Tweet 50: Road Warrior Animal should team up with John Laurinaitis to form the Legion of Laurinaitis.
Tweet 51: Animal is sporting the Triple H physqiue.

What a rush? Not for Heath Slater...

Vickie Guerrero and Ricardo Rodriguez argue backstage

Tweet 52: What was the point of the bickering between Ricardo and Vickie?

Tweet 53: Wait. What? Ricardo speaks English…?

Alberto Del Rio and Dolph Ziggler v Sheamus and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 54: Albertooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Del...

Tweet 55: Vickie Guerrero ruined my tweet.
Tweet 56: Jericho looks OLD.
Tweet 57: Sheamus is out first for his team. We know who the star is here...
Tweet 58: Rey's changed his mask. Or maybe it's one to take off and give to a kid.
Tweet 59: Yeah, he gave it to a child. That's how you know someone's a babyface.
Tweet 60: "Rey Mysterio has set the standard for guys his size stepping into the business and going straight to the top" - Booker T on midgets
Tweet 61: Rey's wearing an outfit that covers his chest. Is that because he's out of shape? Shouldn't be, he's just had eleven months off.
Tweet 62: I want this match to end with either ADR or Ziggler pinning Sheamus to set something up for SummerSlam.
Tweet 63: I imagine Rey will score the pin for his team as he's just come back to TV and it's his hometown.
Tweet 64: Then again WWE don't always like booking hometown wins.
Tweet 65: "C'mon referee, watch your back" - Booker T with a meaningless piece of advice
Tweet 66: Tip for Rey and Sheamus: if you're going to do a near miss tag spot make sure you don't actually touch hands.
Tweet 67: Hot tag to Sheamus. Clean house. Win. #prediction
Tweet 68: Big bump from the apron into the announce table by Ziggler. Convincing way to write him out of the finish.
Tweet 69: Ricardo interference on Sheamus causes a disappointing disqualification finish.
Tweet 70: Officials come in to break up the post-match cross arm breaker. Where's Rey? Shouldn't he make the save to get over a triumphant hero?
Tweet 71: Ah, he saved Sheamus from a Ziggler cash-in instead. That makes him a heel in my book. Surely people would've liked to see a title change?
Tweet 72: A face against face Sheamus v Rey would be something interesting and different for SummerSlam.

The Highlight of the Night

A month ago Chris Jericho was suspended for mercilessly attacking a Brazilian flag at a WWE live event (read about it here). When he disappeared from our screens he was playing a bad guy and was just entering into a feud with Randy Orton. Things have changed since then.

Tonight ‘Y2J’ will return to RAW. Considering WWE’s current lack of top line babyfaces and the video of Jericho on stage with Fozzy that was aired on last week’s Monday night show there’s a good chance he will be coming back as a good guy. That would be a good move for WWE to make. Not only would Jericho help plug a gap on the roster but he would also have a chance to freshen up his act. Even though he’s only been back in the company since January it’s sorely needed: the cartoon villain he likes to play has become depressingly stale.

Whether he comes back as a good guy or a bad guy ‘The King of the World’ will definitely not be resuming his rivalry with ‘The Viper’ this evening. Orton was hit with a suspension the week after Jericho and will be on the side-lines for another month. Rumours that he’ll be switching back to a heel role upon his television return mean that a Jericho v Orton feud is still a possibility but  even if that’s the play Jericho will still be without a storyline for a month.

Will Chris Jericho be the highlight of the night when he returns to RAW?

Thankfully WWE has plenty of potential opponents for ‘Y2J’. The man I would personally like to see Jericho tangle with over the next few months in Daniel Bryan. The former undisputed champion tends to work better when facing smaller opponents and ‘D-Bryan’ gets a good match out of anyone. I would expect a Jericho v Bryan series to easily better the Jericho v CM Punk series we saw earlier in the year.

The former ‘American Dragon’ is underrated on the microphone too. He’s become a little overshadowed by a certain word recently and has always been more known for his wrestling skills over his verbal skills (and rightly so) but he’s very accomplished on the stick and could hang with a talented talker like Jericho. Their promos could be very memorable.

Speaking of talented talkers, how about Damien Sandow as an opponent for ‘The Paragon of Virtue’? He’s arguably the most promising newcomer introduced to WWE programming this year and would benefit from working against a man with Jericho’s reputation. He’s not had much chance to shine in matches thus far but I think he’s good enough to work an enjoyable six or seven minute match on pay-per-view.

Jericho could even be used to give the tag team scene a boost. The Prime Time Players could interrupt his return speech (you know he’s going to give one) and attempt to “take his spot.” That could lead to Jericho and a partner entering into a three-way programme with the heel PTPs and the tweener duo of Epico and Primo unit. ‘Y2J’ could even replace R-Truth as Kofi Kingston’s tag team partner.

WWE have given up on the push of Tensai over the last two months. That’s a shame because Matt Bloom has improved a lot since his previous run with the promotion as A-Train and could, if given a sustained push without constant changes being made to his character, get over as a star in the organisation. He’d make an interesting, not to mention unexpected, choice of opponent for Jericho.

The Fozzy frontman could be used to finally elevate Cody Rhodes further up the card. The former ‘Dashing One’s’ programme with Christian feels liked it’s being dragged out for the sake of it right now. A feud with Jericho would be something fresh and interesting and would also be building for the future. WWE have been neglecting Rhodes since WrestleMania when they should be doing everything possible to help him make it to the top bracket. A high profile programme with Jericho could be his ticket out of the mid-card, which the promotion should want because he has the potential to become their next bankable heel star.

Jericho needs to be used to crete as many new stars as possible. His commitments with Fozzy may see him disappear from TV again within the next few months and he’s stated in several interviews that music, not wrestling, his now his number one priority. WWE needs to make use of him while they have him.

Prime Time

At No Way Out, in one of the many unadvertised matches to make it on to a WWE pay-per-view this year, Abraham Washington (who now bills himself simply as AW) turned on his clients Epico, Primo and Rosa Mendes and helped the Prime Time Players win a four team number one contenders match, which also included the Usos and Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. The likelihood is that this swerve turn was not the plan when AW originally became the manager of Epico and Primo. That doesn’t matter. It was a good move.

Since being placed with AW in the weeks following WrestleMania the former tag team champions have done very little. They originally joined AW’s All World talent stable because they were tired of being left off television. Ironically their affiliation with AW resulted in them getting even fewer matches but it didn’t matter, we were told they were biding their time and waiting before instigating their contractually obligated championship rematch.

AW becoming the agent for the Prime Time Players is a much better use of him. Titus O’Neil and Darren Young have few things going for them but they are at least enthusiastic about their job and appear dedicated to improving. AW will help cover their weaknesses and make them a more rounded act.

AW and the Prime Time Players: for better or for worse the future of WWE's tag team division

The PTPs have been getting regular matches on RAW and SmackDown, winning a lot, and have been allowed to experiment with their on-screen characters. Those are all signs that somebody in the organisation thinks they have potential. While I don’t agree with that view at least WWE are giving a new act a consistent push that is mindful of their current skill level.

I actually think part of the reason for switching AW over to the Prime Time Players was to allow WWE to book a tag team feud. With R-Truth injured he and championship partner Kofi Kingston are unable to engage in a proper feud right now. Using Epico and Primo as avenging babyfaces is a good way to keep building Young and O’Neil before they’re able to take the gold from Kingston and Truth. In the long run it will be good too: a deep doubles division needs more than one face unit and if Epico and Primo are handled well they could fit the bill nicely.

I would assume WWE will either wait until Truth is injury free or, if too much time elapses, book either some sort of injury angle with ‘The Suntan Superman’ that means Kofi must defend alone or find a replacement partner (I’ve suggested Zack Ryder for the role). Of those options I think the injury angle and handicap match approach is best as it clearly illustrates the underhanded nature of the Prime Time Players, and the unjust nature of the title change would make people anticpate a rematch that little bit more.

What scant future the WWE tag team division has is linked to the Prime Time Players. They may not be great but they’re better than nothing. On the bright side WWE clearly has interest in them and AW should help them a more bearable act. Sooner or later they’ll get their hands on the ugly tag straps: that’s when they’ll really have their chance to prove they belong.

Hispanic Armada

When Hunico lost his mask last October he enjoyed a brief association with Primo and Epico. The three men appeared as a unit on a handful of episodes of SmackDown before being quietly split into two sepeate acts and going their separate ways.

Hunico continued wrestling in his street clothes and was eventually paired up with Camacho (son of Haku). That Hunico has received the trusty “ringside enforcer” gimmick is a sign that WWE sees promise in him as a low- to mid-card act. They rarely give that gimmick to an act they’ve no intention of using. It’s also worth noting that Camacho is another guy who has benefitted from Hunico’s call-up to the main roster (the others, obviously, being Epico and Primo (more on that here)).

 Rosa Mendes: she's quite the manager

Epico and Primo killed some time as a generic low-card heel tag team, with Rosa Mendes brought in as their second. Thanks to a Wellness Policy violation they also lucked into a reign as WWE tag team champions. With no true doubles division in the company they’re unlikely to drop the gold for a while, which should guarantee them a TV spot for the foreseeable future.

All three men have fairly stable spots, Camacho’s received a promotion to the main roster, and Rosa Mendes has been given a role in which she can excel (wrestling was not her forte, dancing around ringside is much more up her street). So, good news all round then?

Well, sort of. While the two units are working out nicely as separate entities I think it would benefit all five performers far more if they were reunited as one single group. Forget the fact that it’s a faction based around racial stereotypes. While that’s not exactly ideal in 2012 it’s nothing new in wrestling. It would benefit five underappreciated talents and that’s what’s important.

The five would stand out far more than they do now as they would be the sole faction on WWE television. The greater number of seconds that would be at ringside (Hunico would have four people with him for singles bouts while Epico and Primo would have three during their tag outings) would help to create more heat and allow the writing team to include greater amounts of outside interference in matches. That may not sound ideal but if booked correctly it could make Primo, Epico and Hunico very effective bad guys.

If built up for a few months, to the point where the active wrestlers in the troupe were seen as genuine threats on the mid-card scene, they could even enjoy a brief feud with an established main event babyface such as CM Punk or Randy Orton. The numbers advantage would allow them to be booked competitively without the worry of having to present them as true equals (that clearly wouldn’t happen in WWE, and the goal would be to establish them as a solid mid-card unit anyway) and a fresh match such as this could spice up TV for a few weeks. It could provide a decent pay-per-view bout too.

WWE could also put together a storyline in which the gang set their sights on the United States championship. If the company were prepared to turn Jack Swagger face and give him a proper push as a singles performer (rather than the card-filler and Ziggler henchman he currently is) that’s a storyline that could provide some interesting matches. If a Hunico were booked to win the US title on an episode of RAW taped in Mexico he could be made to look like a big star. Not only that but it could make the US belt mean something again.

Is any of this likely to happen? No. If Vince McMahon and his writing team wanted the two acts together then they would be together. Despite the clear positives the situation would offer there’s obviously a reason they’re no longer affiliated on-screen.

If WWE were serious about creating an enjoyable mid-card scene they could do far worse than putting Hunico, Camacho, Rosa Mendes and the tag team champions together. Given time they could become a solid act.

That RAW Recap 27.02.12

You would be forgiven for thinking that an appearance by The Rock would automatically make any episode of RAW memorable. Sadly that’s not the case. While ‘The Great One’s’ latest return was highly anticipated and delivered the catchphrases, laughs and animosity we’d all wanted and expected it’s not going to go down in the history books as one of his best ever promos. It’s not that it lacked anything, it’s more that nothing was said that we haven’t heard before.

Since last year The Rock and his WrestleMania XXVIII opponent John Cena have been trading barbs with one another. As time’s gone on those barbs have become increasingly vicious. But a pattern has emerged. Cena will talk about how he appears on RAW and at live events every week, The Rock will reveal his latest absurd jibe and then arrogantly proclaim it’s “trending” worldwide, then Cena will smirk and Rock will give an icy stare and the process will be repeated a few weeks later.

There’s nothing wrong with this approach. It clearly works well for both men and WWE as an organisation. It will deliver the pay-per-view buys the company wants when WrestleMania rolls around. It’s just that aside from a few funny lines (from both men) nothing about this feud has been especially memorable so far.

That said it did seem that the former ‘Doctor of Thuganomics’ struck a nerve when he mentioned Rock having promo notes on his arm. That could have been arranged to make it seem that the rivalry is finally heating up or it could have been a genuine moment of Cena saying something Rock didn’t know was coming and the movie star being unable to fully hide his annoyance. It doesn’t matter which it is really. It was an enjoyable moment and we need to see more like it over the next few weeks if the two men are going to keep their story moving forward.

Work or worked-shoot?

Below the main event promo we got a standard hit-and-miss RAW. Highlights were provided by a solid CM Punk v Daniel Bryan opener and a triple threat tag team championship match. The tag title bout got a surprising amount of time and was very enjoyable. Refreshingly, Cole and Lawler mostly concentrated on the action throughout the match. Naturally Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston were the stars but champions Epico and Primo got to shine too. It just goes to show that with a little work WWE could have a very enjoyable tag team division again.

Sadly that good work was undone after the match when Kane strolled to the ring and obliterated not only R-Truth and ‘The Heel’ but the champions too. That felt like somewhat of a waste considering how hard everyone had just worked to put on a good match. Did Kane really need that treatment?

The champion versus champion match was of predictably high quality and it’s a testament to both former ROH stars that they were able to put on such a good match in spite of the ruckus at ringside. Yes, WWE decided to shift the focus from the great match that took place in the ring onto John Laurinaitis, Teddy Long, Santino, David Otunga and AJ, who had all crowded ringside to advance their storylines. AJ was there to be used as a shield by her cowardly boyfriend while the other four were there to advance the unified General Manager arc. It was a lot to cram into one segment but WWE pulled it off well and gave us a tremendous match too.

We were once again denied a decisive finish. I’m beginning to think that the plan is to start a champion versus champion feud over the coming months, with the solitary GM (almost certainly Johnny Ace) eventually booking a title versus title match to unify the belts. I’m not against that. There’s not enough roster depth for two world champions and there hasn’t been for some time.

This week’s excuse for not giving us a winner was a repeat from last Tuesday’s clash on SuperSmackDown: Bryan went to leave the arena with his belt only to be tossed back into the ring by his WrestleMania opponent Sheamus. Laurinaitis disqualified Punk for this (technically it was outside interference against Bryan, you see) and then got into another shouting contest with Teddy Long. That’s always quite the sight: ‘Mr Excitement’ has to be a good foot taller than his SmackDown counterpart.

Despite having lost Punk decided to celebrate and pose at the top of the ramp. That’s never a good move for babyface wrestlers and this was no exception. Chris Jericho attacked the WWE champion from behind, knocking him to the ground before smashing his head repeatedly into the top of the metal ramp and locking him into the Walls of Jericho. Despite it being a clichéd routine the fans got impressively worked up and Jericho left to a good amount of heat.

That wasn’t the first time we’d seen Jericho: he’d opened the show by interrupting Daniel Bryan’s entrance. He and Punk had a passionate exchange about their respective histories in the business. They opted for a realistic approach that suited their feud well. When accused of stealing Jericho’s lines Punk asked Jericho if he’d given Bret Hart his “the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be” line when he was two, following that up by facetiously asking if ‘Y2J’ had invented Canada. ‘The Second City Saint’ had a point: wrestlers are continually influenced by past generations and neither of them are an exception, but Punk hasn’t (at least to my knowledge) outright stolen anything from anyone else.

Jericho retaliated by saying he was a different breed to Punk and other modern wrestlers. ‘The Ayatollah of Rock and Roll-ah’ said he was from a generation of grapplers who didn’t care what spot they were supposed to fill, where they were placed on the card or what management told them to do, they just wanted to have the best match of the night. That’s an admirable quality and something that Jericho has intimated before in interviews when asked about TNA’s X Division. That meant both men had valid arguments.

This was a focused, believable promo that set the scene nicely for their continued rivalry and eventual clash at WrestleMania on April 1^st. In a way I’d say it was better than The Rock’s promo. At least we got plenty of fresh material.

The rest of the show was forgettable. John Cena made Miz tap out to his credibility-killing STF submission hold and Kelly Kelly scored a nippy victory over Nikki Bella. Big Show teamed with Sheamus (he won the Royal Rumble remember, when is WWE going to start doing something with him?) to get a victory over Cody Rhodes and Mark Henry in an incredibly short contest which was preceded by Cody poking fun at Show’s loss to Floyd Mayweather at WrestleMania 24. A Show v Cody clash at this year’s event is looking more and more likely. That’s a real pity.

So where were Randy Orton and Brodus Clay? Both were confirmed for the show and neither appeared. It’s difficult to believe they were omitted due to time constraints when you consider that Eve was booked to wander to the ring and cut a promo about how men should be blamed for being easy to manipulate. Surely WWE would have cut that, or some of the dross I mentioned in the previous paragraph, in favour of an appearance from Orton.

Right now WWE is plodding towards WrestleMania. I’m confident that Rock v Cena, Triple H v Undertaker and Jericho v Punk are all going to ensure it’s a creative and commercial success, but if things carry on the way they have been it will be in spite of WWE’s writing team, not because of them. Things need to start happening on RAW and SmackDown if the casual viewers who tend to watch a little more often at this time of year and going to be convinced to keep watching form April 2^nd.

In short: do something truly memorable next week!

Bourne Again

On Tuesday  17^th January Matthew ‘Evan Bourne’ Korklan was suspended for violating the WWE Wellness Policy. This is his second violation, and suspension, in less than three months. He previously tested positive for a banned synthetic marijuana named Spice in October and served a suspension from November 1^st to  November 30^th.
 

That he has been suspended again roughly one month after returning tells us he clearly hasn’t learnt anything from the unpaid, unofficial holiday. Instead of coming back and keeping his nose clean (both metaphorically and literally) he has thrown away the biggest push of his WWE career. He was chosen, alongside Kofi Kingston, to become the focal point of the promotion’s tag team division (such as it is) guaranteed Bourne appearances on television and pay-per-view as well as the backing of the company’s merchandising department. That’s not a bad situation for a mid-card performer to be in.

It seemed odd that WWE elected to keep the tag team titles on Air Boom throughout the duration of the first suspension, but it indicated that the duo were still valued and the intention to push them was still there. They were clearly willing to overlook Bourne’s transgression and resume the push because that’s exactly what they did.

Unfortunately for Bourne WWE is not the kind of environment that gives small, disposable performers chance after chance. Top guys like Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy have suffered lengthy suspensions (and a sacking in Hardy’s case) for this sort of behaviour so there’s no way Bourne is going to escape unscathed. It’s also worth pointing out that there are dozens of high-flying guys on the independent circuit who could replace Bourne’s smiley underdog babyface persona with ease. He would be very easy to replace.

That Bourne gave no thought to how his actions would affect Kofi Kingston is what I find most irritating about the situation. Kofi has been shuffled up and down the WWE ranks, in and out of prominence, for years now. He’d finally become a regular performer on TV again thanks to the Air Boom unit and now that’s over through no fault of his own.

Evan Bourne performs a lovely Shooting Star Press, but so do a lot of guys on the independent circuit.

  

Perhaps that’s a pessimistic attitude. Maybe WWE will reinstate the team when Bourne’s latest suspension has been served. Maybe they will replace Bourne and give someone else the chance to team with Kofi each week on TV. Maybe ‘The Dreadlocked Dynamo’ will be returned to the singles ranks and become a featured performer there. If any of these things happened it would make Bourne’s behaviour slightly more tolerable.

Hopefully Matthew Korklan will use the next two months to get whatever issues he has with banned substances sorted out. While he’s at it he could work on his TV character a bit and try to improve his verbal skills. If he has to sit out he can at least make it work to his advantage. If he doesn’t then he may be getting future endeavoured in the not too distant future.