Shining Star

When Cody Rhodes transformed into Stardust last summer I thought it was a massive step backwards. It was a knock-off of the near enough two decade old Goldust character and a gimmick it was impossible to envisage WWE taking seriously. In other words it was exactly the sort of thing that was going to keep Cody tethered to the mid-card. He wasn't exactly on the cusp of main events before the change but he was even further away after it.

Cody made the best of a bad situation. Which is hardly surprising as the Stardust character was apparently his idea to begin with. He changed up his entrance and in-ring mannerisms, going out of his way to try and establish Stardust as a distinct entity. Even more impressively he switched up his move set, something WWE performers are generally not encouraged to do. These changes helped to establish Stardust and make the change easier to accept.

What a good-looking man.

It's only recently that the Stardust character has begun paying off for Rhodes and the writing team. It's been revealed that the change was part of a long term plan to play into the split of the Rhodes-cum-Dust brothers tandem. Stardust announced at Fast Lane that Cody is "dead", killed by his deadweight brother and unsupportive father. In a nice touch he referenced various stages of his career (being 'The Prince' and 'The Dashing One', being an Intercontinental champ, and being touted as the breakout star of The Legacy) and his former status as a hot prospect within WWE. As character development goes it was certainly attention grabbing.

Since the two (half) brothers officially split on the February 16 RAW further tweaks have been made to the Stardust character. He's been shown to be violent and unstable both in matches and backstage segments and moved from wearing a Goldust-esque bodysuit to full length tights (possibly because he wants to have those abs of his on display).

It seems likely that another Goldust versus Stardust is where this is all heading, although Stardust's recent interest in the Intercontinental title means it's unlikely to happen at WrestleMania. How that will play out is anybody's guess. The rumours that Goldy is ready to retire are as widespread as they've ever been so it seems reasonable to assume we'll see Goldust versus Stardust with a retirement stipulation for the former on the line. Given Stardust's recent sentiments we could see him challenge Goldust to face him with this stip and Goldust, wanting his brother back, agreeing on the proviso that if he can win the match the Stardust gimmick gets dropped.

That scenario would almost certainly play out with Goldust losing. It could be used to launch a big singles push for the Stardust character, unrepentant at having fractured his family and caused the retirement of his brother. Played right it could get him over big as a heel. Alternatively Stardust could win the match and, following a moment of clarity brought on by seeing how dejected 'The Bizarre One' was at the loss, ask for and receive reconciliation. That would allow Goldust to go out in the match he's apparently wanted for years and lead back to the reintroduction of the babyface Cody Rhodes character.

Knowing WWE we'll get a watered down version of one of these options. The Stardust saga so far has already been a departure from the writing team's usual unwillingness to commit to anything original, interesting, or forward thinking. It's too much to expect the story to reach its conclusion without the usual WWE disappointment seeping in.

Bad Dust

Over the last two weeks we’ve been treated (and I use that term loosely) to seeing Goldust and Stardust turning heel. They’ve attacked the Usos after matches and cheated to gain a singles victory over them. Why this has happened is hard to figure out.

It was just about a year ago that Cody Rhodes found himself storyline-fired by the then-newly formed Authority. In Cody’s absence his brother Goldust returned to WWE screens in an effort to win his bro’s job back. He failed. Then Cody, after enjoying a real life honeymoon, showed back up and the brothers won themselves WWE contracts, and the tag team titles, in spirited matches against The Shield.

At the time it felt like a big deal for the brothers, particularly Cody. He’d turned babyface earlier in the year during an entertaining and expertly booked Money in the Bank match in which he was betrayed by so-called best friend and current Miz stunt double Damien Sandow. He seemed to be on the rise. An affable, talented guy that was finally getting his crack at progression.

The tag outings alongside Goldust were great. Everyone enjoyed them. Cody was praised for his work as a babyface after years of being the bad guy while Goldy was clearly having a career resurgence, doing some of the best work of his twenty-three year career. Alongside The Shield combo of Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns they made tag team wrestling in WWE something to look forward to seeing. After years of the likes of Cryme Time that was quite the feat.

'Look, there goes your singles push!'

And this wasn’t the first time Cody Rhodes had been doing solid work when handed the opportunity. The year before he’d made the best of an incredibly bad situation by making his Intercontinental title feud with Big Show not entirely atrocious. The year before that he provided Rey Mysterio with his final noteworthy WWE feud. By the end of 2013 it was clear Cody Rhodes was a man who could and would make the most of any opportunity handed to him and that audiences would invest in him emotionally.

When 2014 began and the Rhodes brothers dropped the tag titles to the New Age Outlaws it felt like a split was being prepared. That turned out not to be the case, which was a pleasant surprise. It seemed that WWE understood what they had in the genuinely popular combo of Cody Rhodes and Goldust and that they were going to keep them both affiliated. My assumption was that they would either go through a peaceful split or that they’d remain affiliated but work more singles outings in order to prepare Cody for a bigger role.

Instead they remained together and stagnated. They started being booked as an afterthought and people, naturally enough, lost interest in them. If viewers aren’t given a reason to care about a performer or a tag team then they probably won’t.

This stagnation led to WWE turning Cody Rhodes into Stardust, basically another Goldust character, in what we can only assume was a half-hearted attempt at freshening them up. That not only neutered ‘The Bizarre’s One’s’ appeal, that he was an oddball unique on the WWE roster, but also harmed Cody’s already damaged image as a man ready to break out as a singles star. Becoming a clone of an overly familiar character his brother had played to near enough perfection for a little under two decades did nothing for him. It was a regression.

So what we have now is Cody Rhodes and Goldust dressing and acting the same, taking away an aspect of their pairing that was originally enjoyable (Cody being nonplussed by his brother’s peculiarity) and being bad guys for no reason. Well, no reason beyond the creative team not knowing what else to do with them. They were far more effective as good guys, as demonstrated by their popularity when given things to do last autumn and at the start of this year. Cody’s prospects as a singles star were far greater as a good guy too.

Stardust

A breakup of the Rhodes brothers tag team had been getting teased for a while. It mostly took the form of Cody looking frustrated after a loss, or stealing the spotlight from a Goldust singles victory. At Payback they lost a match to RybAxel and Cody informed Goldust that he wouldn't be tagging with him anymore, feeling ‘The Golden One’ deserved a better partner.

It seemed safe to assume that the story was going to see Goldust paired up with a string of random partners and still losing, leading Cody to the conclusion that it was 'The Bizarre One' that was the weak link on the team. That would, of course, culminate with a Cody heel turn.

The enigmatic Stardust.

Instead of the split we've had a surprise gimmick change. After seeing Goldust lose to RybAxel alongside Sin Cara one week and R-Truth the next Cody revealed he'd found the perfect partner to help end the losing streak. The partner ended up being him. Wearing a gold and black bodysuit. And face paint. And red contact lenses. And going under the name Stardust.

The character has so far only made one appearance in a short victory over Ryback and Curtis Axel. It's too early to judge how popular it can become and how enjoyable the pairing of the dusts can be. But it's not too early to say this is a step backwards for Cody Rhodes.

The problem is being in a tag team. The Goldust and Cody combo proved very popular last year and their tag championship reign elevated both them and the belts. It was a position that Cody could stay in pretty much indefinitely until a decision was made to give him a crack at being a meaningful singles babyface. The quick wit, comedy timing and willingness to send himself up that he routinely demonstrates on The JBL and Cole Show and in media interviews make it clear Cody can cut it as a top flight solo act. I don't think his in-ring skills are in question at this point. Basically he was perfectly placed for a slow rise to the top.

Which makes it odd that WWE have taken away his ability to demonstrate these abilities. Instead of using his quick wit and general affability to his advantage he has to go out of his way to act like an eccentric Goldust knock-off. I’m not claiming it’s a career killer or anything (very few things in WWE are) but it is a step backwards for somebody who seemed to be on the cusp of taking a step forwards.

On the plus side there’s clearly going to be more to the story. Cody won’t be playing Stardust indefinitely. Perhaps Goldust will be the one to turn heel after getting jealous of his brother stealing his shtick. Perhaps Cody will end up going heel after all when they lose a title match. Perhaps they’ll just continue tagging for a few months and then randomly split as so many teams in WWE tend. A split will happen sooner or later and when it comes I hope WWE have something good ready for Cody. He’s one of the many talented wrestlers they should be doing a lot more with.

Mid-Cardonomics

Part of the reason WWE programming is so uninspiring these days is because so few wrestlers are given things to do. The most recent rivalry to feature non-main event talent was between Hornswoggle and El Torito. Before that the last one I can remember was between Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. While a feud between Sandow and Rhodes is no bad thing it took place in July and August of 2013. That nicely illustrates the distinct lack of frequency for mid-card feuds and the general lack of attention.

The trouble with concentrating exclusively (or as near to exclusively as makes no difference) on writing for the main event crew should be obvious. It means scenarios get recycled and become familiar, creating indifference in viewers. It also makes it needlessly difficult to elevate fresh acts, exacerbating the staleness problem.

Every Monday a three hour RAW airs but much of it can be skipped, too much of what takes place being inconsequential filler. The opening of the show, the close of the show, the first match, and whatever airs at the turn of each hour are the only things that are likely to matter long term. Even then the specifics are repetitive and uninspired.

Give this guy something to do. Please!

What’s frustrating is that things don’t have to be this way. WWE has more than enough guys on the main roster to be able to get a healthy mid-card scene going. Bad News Barrett, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow, Cesaro, and Cody Rhodes all have significant enough followings and the required amount of wrestling ability and personality to draw people into storylines. That list omits tag teams the Uso brothers and The Wyatt Family, guys who are ready and waiting for their shot in NXT, guys like Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins who are not guaranteed permanent top spots quite yet, and the entire Divas division.

It’s not just the talented wrestlers WWE have access to, it’s the writing staff too. Over the years WWE as a company has proven capable of creating balanced television shows that give people the top stars they want while prepping new talent for the future. It also has a history of putting out satisfying storylines (and stinkers too, but that’s always going to happen). That the writing team has changed a lot in nature over the years doesn’t matter. Nor does the fact the people drop in and out, coming and going from the company and the creative process. The WWE product is always overseen by Vince McMahon, and has been for over thirty years. He has proven he knows how to oversee a quality wrestling show, including the prep-heavy periods of prosperity. It just seems that right now he’s not bothered about quality (or that he’s distracted by other things like his company losing money, although in truth that’s not a completely separate issue).

Even beyond the fact that they still have Vince overseeing them we’ve seen the current WWE system has capable people involved. I’m not talking about Paul Heyman or ‘Dirty’ Dutch, although the writing team could do worse than tap them for mid-card plot inspiration. I’m talking about the team of writers who put together NXT.

NXT is a different show to RAW, SmackDown and Main Event. It emphasises wrestling far more and isn’t as long. The talent of those involved in its writing are obvious. They ensure everyone on the show gets an introduction that explains what they’re about, has something to do when they appear, and gets the chance to connect with the audience. Storylines progress logically with a clear beginning, middle and end, and there’s a reason for things happening, including losses in matches.

The NXT approach is not something that could be copied and pasted onto RAW. They’re different shows that target and attract different audiences. But the approach to storyline construction would be a welcome addition to RAW. How about handing over writing duties of Dolph and the gang over to the NXT scribes? The current main roster writing crew would be freed up to make their sections better and the newcomers would be giving meaning to a bunch of talented but overlooked guys.

Even if that’s impossible for whatever reason surely something could be done about the uninspired undercard. I’ve watched wrestling for long enough to know that it doesn’t take that much to get a good mid-card scene going. Have Wrestler A and Wrestler B interfere in one another’s matches and trash talk one another for a month as Wrestler C and Wrestler D do the same for the Intercontinental championship. Have Wrestler A win his feud and make fun of Wrestler C for losing, setting them off in their own feud leaving Wrestlers B and D to do the same, maybe mixing in the birth of a plastic hand or a mysteriously vibrating gym bag or honour being regained by chopping off reproductive organs for good measure (because, y’know, that’s entertainment!). Then wrap up with the final combination before introducing Wrestler E and possibly even Wrestler F for some fresh combos and new stars. Is having a meaningful Intercontinental championship match on a pay-per-view really too much to ask?

Give mid-card wrestlers things to do, basically. The whole point of the above alphabet string would be to create matches that have meaning, giving people a reason to root for certain wrestlers and against others. It would help create anticipation for future matches too. And as much as WWE may not want to admit it it’s the lure of a hot match that elevates a show from run-of-the-mill to red hot success.

The Intellectual Cosplayer

When Damien Sandow first appeared in WWE he was, by modern standards, a wonder. He was a solid wrestler with an understandable and distinct character that acted consistently. Plus he did cartwheels. I thought he signalled the beginning of a mid-card rebuilding project.

Sadly that’s not been the case. During his two years in WWE Sandow has never been treated exactly right. His pushes have faltered. He’s been shunted up and down the card. The company never seem quite sure whether to position him as a man on the rise or a piece of enhancement furniture used to get other, newer stars over.

Damien Sandow's better than this. So's Ian McKellen for that matter.

His treatment in the last year demonstrates this perfectly. He’s recently abandoned his intellectual roots, the thing that set him apart from every other heel on the books, and taken to cosplaying. We’ve seen him as Magneto, Davey Crockett and some basketball player I’ve never heard of, all for entirely unexplained reasons. It’s a move that may or may not be linked to the bizarre and ill-conceived decision to have him attempt worked shoot promos about being underutilised just a week or two before he decided to reveal this previously unhinted at aspect of his personality.

Under a year ago things were different. At last July’s Money in the Bank ‘The Intellectual Saviour’ won the titular ladder bash at the expense of his then-best friend (not forever) Cody Rhodes. That not only gave Sandow a guaranteed World Heavyweight championship match but also slotted him into one of the few mid-card feuds bothered booking all year. Rhodes versus Sandow happened at SummerSlam and actually had a worthwhile backstory to it!

That Sandow lost his cash-in match against WHC John Cena wasn’t a problem in itself. It could have led to Sandow going away and proving himself worthy of a rematch by winning a string of matches against significant members of the roster. It could have led to him entering a lopsided (perhaps even one-sided) feud with Mr Cena. It could have seen him refocus and promise fans he’d have gold by the end of the year, leading to a two month story culminating with him winning the Intercontinental or US strap on the last RAW or SmackDown of the year.

The second option was hinted at but never really went anywhere. That may be because of the probably last minute decision to unify the World Heavyweight title with the WWE title in December but it’s more likely that WWE just couldn’t be bothered dedicating time to Sandow. In their minds they had, and have, bigger names to concentrate on.

While it’s true that there are bigger established names and newcomers with more potential to strike it big than Sandow that shouldn’t mean he gets overlooked. In Sandow WWE has a near perfect mid-card heel. He’s a decent wrestler, is easy to dislike, gives a great promo, and understands his character. Not making the most of how different his character is is, as Sandow himself might say, incontrovertibly imbecilic.

Payback 2014 review

With two rematches heading things up, not much going on on the undercard and no WWE championship match Payback did not look like a strong show. Could WWE pull off a minor wrestling miracle and fashion the second ever Payback event into something worthwhile? Read on and see.

The show started with a video package. The focus was on the top two feuds between Wyatt and Cena and Evolution and The Shield. It was not WWE's greatest effort. There have been far more interesting video packages, but it did at least do what it was supposed to and was well put together.

Michael Cole welcomed us the "the historic" All Stare Arena as United States champion Sheamus bounded out to the ring for the opener. The reaction to him was mostly positive although I'm sure I heard some boos. Perhaps that was just wishful thinking on my part. Clips were shown of his recent interactions with Cesaro and the problems they've had following the Code of Honor.

Cesaro's entrance was preceded by a Paul Heyman promo. He told the audience CM Punk was watching the Blackhawks get their streak broken (cheap heat there)... just like Brock Lesnar had done to The Undertaker at WrestleMania. Even that couldn't turn the crowd fully against Heyman. His accomplishments in wrestling are too easy to respect.

Sheamus is taken for a Big Swing.

Cesaro and Sheamus started tearing into each other immediately and had a match filled with hoss sweat and hoss adrenalin. Shaymo gained an early advantage and heard a smattering boos. The longer the match went the more prominent they became. 'Great White' showed signs of going full-on heel when he dropped three knees on 'The King of Swing', a sequence which was accompanied by an amusing sneer. A "Sheamus sucks!" chant kicked up when he survived a Swiss death pop up uppercut. Boos rained down on him as he signalled for the Brogue kick. Cesaro absorbed a White Noise and a cloverleaf before coming back with a Cesaro Swing. When he tried to pulls Sheamus up for a Neutralizer he got caught with a small package to end a good, lively opener.

The hour that followed that was tough going. It began with a match pitting Goldust and Cody Rhodes against RybAxel. It was irritatingly clear that it was taking place just to further the split between the brothers. It was no better than a standard TV match, something not helped by the fact that the audience took a while to warm up to it. The mighty Ryback got the pin after catching a Disaster kick and turning it into a Shellshock. Afterwards Cody told 'The Bizarre One' that he should get a better tag partner then walked out.

Lana came out to remind us that Vladimir Putin exists and then tottered to the ring behind Rusev. He was waving a flag like a madman just as he had a few days earlier at NXT Takeover. Big E came out with a US flag. At this point I was hoping they'd agree to an impromptu flag match. It wasn't to be.

The two found it tough to win the crowd over, suffering through a "We want Ziggler!" chant and, perhaps worse, indifference. Things picked up when E did his ever impressive spear through the ropes. From there it was still the basic power exchange you'd expect but the audience was making more noise. They didn't get long. Rusev slapped on the Accolade fairly quickly and Big E tapped out. 'The Bulgarian Brute' celebrated by shaking the flag like a lunatic again.

A second random filler match between Kofi Kingston and 'The Inspirational' Bo Dallas didn't take place. After Bo had done his Bruce Forsyth pose and given the fans a pep talk Kane walked to the ring. Kingston attacked 'The Big Red Machine' as he got into the ring, making him a heel in my book. Kane defended himself with a choke slam and a Tombstone then wandered off. Bo got back into the ring and told Kofi he'd back on his feet in no time if he Bo-lieved. The entire sequence was pointless, although WWE deserves credit for getting Dallas onto the show in some form.

Rob Van Dam's challenge for the Intercontinental championship was next. Defending champ Bad News Barrett got another mostly positive reaction. His bad news for the night was that RVD wouldn't be winning the title. It was a little unimaginative but his delivery was spot on. In a nice touch there are now three lions on Bad News's trunks. That's a football reference, in case you don't know.

Van Dam's not the only one who can kick.

The audience was split on who to cheer for in the opening moments, the air being filled with duelling chants. The match was fine but didn't feel like anything special. Nor did it feel as though it was as good as it could have been. RVD did his usual spots and Bad News did some kicks to the gut. The, ahem, good news for Barrett was that his Winds of Change and Bullhammer moves were both greeted warmly by the crowd. Van Dam went down to the elbow after a failed split legged moonsault.

A video reminded us of what's been happening with Daniel Bryan recently. The short version is that after winning the WWE title at WrestleMania he got a neck injury and Stephanie McMahon wanted him to vacate the title, having threatened to sac his wife Brie if he failed to do so. Ms McHelmsley made the video pointless when she recapped the same stuff live in the ring.

D-Bry said Stephanie had a chance to change people's perception of her. She said, in response to a Punk chant, the people wanted him to quit like Punk. Brie called Steph a bitch. That got a huge pop and a yes chant. Steph demanded the championship. Bryan went to hand it over but Brie stopped him and quit. Steph's response was to laugh which earned her a slap. That sent her running to the back as the Bryans led a yes chant in the ring. A replay aired during which Michael Cole called it "the slap heard round the world." I bet he doesn't even know what that's a reference to. Anyway, the upshot was that Bryan kept the WWE championship and the fans were happy. This presumably means he'll be back in action either at Money in the Bank or Battleground.

Bray Wyatt spent a minute or so interacting with fans at ringside after he'd walked to the ring for the Last Man Standing match. That included him staring at Jerry 'The King' Lawler (who WWE seem convinced every fan sees as a cuddly old gentleman instead of a cliché-spouting embarrassment) and laughing. Cena went through his usual pre-match routine while JBL surprised me by referencing his LSM match opposite Umaga from Royal Rumble 2007. That still stands as one of the greatest matches of Cena's career.

This was not he end of John Cena.

Before the Wyatt Family could gang up on Cena the Usos dashed to the ring to provide some backup. Rowan and Harper backed off and the four settled in at ringside. Wyatt controlled the early stretch of the encounter as Cena absorbed punishment to make his later comebacks appear that little bit more impressive. After an AA to 'The Eater of Worlds' Erick Rowan involved himself in the match, prompting the Usos to leap into the ring. A brawl erupted between the seconds that saw Harper do a dive and an Uso jump off the top rope (after which they all disappeared to the back). This caused a distraction that allowed Bray to grab a chair to whack Cena with. That put Cena down for a six count before he grabbed the chair for himself and delicately tapped Wyatt on the back with it. Amazingly Michael Cole bothered to reference the internal conflict Cena had experienced over using weapons at WrestleMania. I hadn't expected that. It was rationalised that at 'Mania Cena was in a regular match where weapon shots were illegal. There were no such restrictions here.

Cena introduced a table. That backfired on him when Wyatt suplexed him through it. Cena was back on his feet by eight but was met with a set of steel steps to the head. Cena naturally made it back to his feet and gave Wyatt a steps shot of his own. Wyatt rolled to the outside of the ring and stood dazed at ringside, perfectly placed for Cena to lob the steps right at his head in the match's most impressive moment.

Wyatt was back up at seven and walloped Cena with a Sister Abigail into the crowd barrier. Wyatt was back dropped onto another set of steel steps. Moments later he leapt off them and landed a senton drop on Cena. 'The Franchise' blocked a chair shot and blasted Wyatt with an AA. At this point Harper and Rowan returned, double teaming Cena and helping Wyatt back to his feet to save him from losing. Jimmy and Jey were back out seconds later, saving Cena before getting wiped out by Harper and Rowan. The Wyatt boys then set up a pair of tables and then had a brawl with the recovered tag champs. Rowan was eliminated with a body block through a table while Harper took himself and Jimmy out with a suplex from the top rope through the tables at ringside.

Cena and Wyatt resumed their battle outside, Cena ducking a clothesline before getting body blocked through the crowd barrier. Both men were back up at seven. They brawled over to the tech area where Wyatt threw Cena into a stack of machinery, triggering a pyro explosion in the entranceway that nobody except the announcers reacted to. He came back from that immediately and back dropped Wyatt into a suspiciously empty box. He placed another box on top and stood on it, ensuring 'The Necessary Evil' couldn't return to his feet and earning himself a victory in the match of the night.

Cole talked about the performance as though it were a feud ender. I hope it was. I can't imagine it being bettered. Having the rivalry end here would allow it to end on a high with the match it's needed from the beginning.

The awkward job of following Cena v Wyatt went to Alicia Fox and Paige. They had a good match. The audience appeared to disagree, amusing themselves by singing Adam Rose's entrance music instead of getting into the action. The champion retained with the Scorpion cross lock, which is now being called the PTO, which stands for Paige's Tap Out.

A brief chat between Booker T and Alex Riley preceded the main event. They said nothing of consequence but it was nice to see Booker. Batista was rocking some new bright blue gear when Evolution entered (#Bluetista would trend on Twitter a few minutes into the match). I'd been hoping for a new weird outfit from him for a while. The blue garb hit the spot. Also, an Instagram picture was shown that illustrated Triple H has continued to stay in shape instead of going back to the Stan Hansen physique he was sporting in 2011.

'Bluetista' takes a boot but still manages to look good. What a pro.

After starting off with everyone pairing up and touring the arena the match settled down into a traditional six man tag match. There was a no disqualification stipulation so they didn't technically need to tag in and out. I suppose they opted for it so as to better pace the bout. As was the case at Extreme Rules the first half was a little slow, eschewing overly flashy sequences in favour of a methodical pace that didn't burn the crowd out and told the story of Evolution being well prepared for 'The Hounds of Justice'.

Things picked up at around the fifteen minute mark when Triple H smashed a monitor into Rollins's head after they'd brawls into the crowd again. Back at ringside Reigns found himself triple power bombed through the Spanish announce desk. Up in the entranceway Rollins took more punishment with a Pedigree on to a chair. Back in the ring all three Evolution members took it in turns to hold Reigns down over a set of steel steps (the steps certainly earned their keep on this show) as the other members caned him. Back up at the entranceway Orton hit a draping DDT on Ambrose before Rollins leapt off the entrance structure on to Tripper, Orty and 'Bootista'.

I wonder if Triple H believes in The Shield yet...

Batista was the first man to fall to elimination, getting pinned after a spear from Reigns. Rollins was saved from an RKO by Reigns, who was in turn saved from a draping DDT by Ambrose. He then eliminated 'The Viper' with the Dirty Deeds headlock driver onto a chair. That left Triple H alone with The Shield. He tried for a Pedigree on 'The Lunatic Fringe' but Reigns made the save with a Superman punch. Batista, who'd stayed hanging about at ringside, then slipped into the ring and flattened him with a spear. Orton, who also hadn't left, retrieved 'The Game's' sledgehammer from under the ring and passed it to his teammate. Ambrose got smashed with it before Rollins stunned H3 with a springboard knee, setting him up for a spear from Reigns to end a solid match. The show ended with The Shield doing their fist bump pose over Triple H.

So was Payback worthwhile? Well Cena versus Wyatt and The Shield versus Evolution certainly were. Sheamus and Cesaro’s US title battle was a surprisingly satisfying offering. The rest of the show was nothing special. Nothing was especially bad but, three previously mentioned matches aside, nothing was especially good. The show seemed designed to fill a gap in the WWE schedule before the more important Money in the Bank. Hopefully that will get WWE’s pay-per-view offerings back on track. Because Payback never really stood a chance.

The JBL and Cole Show Episode 71 review

If you've watched The JBL and Cole Show before you're probably wondering how anyone would go about recapping it. There's a fair chance you're wondering why too. I have no answer for the first question. We'll all find out together as I write this.

I do have an answer for why this is being written though. As this being WrestleMania weekend my intention was to write a string of posts covering all the major offerings from Dragon Gate USA, EVOLVE and ROH. But then I thought it was a nice chance to write about some different things going on. Things that exist on the fringes of wrestling. And when you talk about the fringes of wrestling you talk about The JBL and Cole Show.

It's The JBL and Cole Show, brother!

I'll provide an explanation at this point because while TJACS is one of WWE's better weekly offerings it's not actually on TV and so it's entirely possible some people reading this may not know what it is. As the name implies the show started out as a vehicle for Michael Cole and JBL. It initially featured sports natter and special guests but quickly evolved into a showcase for the vast number of WWE wrestlers under contract who don't get onto TV every week. In its current guise it's a collection of running gags, recurring characters and wrestling in-jokery presented in the style of the more comedic backstage skits WWE is known for.

It's also not featured Michael Cole in anything other than a minor cameo in months. So, y'know, it's got that going for it too.

The appeal of the show is its humour and creative use of wrestlers. Many of the characters that appear are naturally funny and the plots and stories that feature (more on which below) are designed to be absurd and frivolous affairs. Many WWE stars have benefited from appearances on the show, everyone from Torito to Corporate (and indeed non-corporate) Kane to Renee Young to Cesaro.

The two men I think many would agree have benefited from the show the most are Bad News Barrett and Cody Rhodes. Barrett actually picked up his Bad News moniker on The JBL and Cole Show and gets far more to do with it there (it’s completely wasted on the main roster). Meanwhile Rhodes has displayed a distinctly Frat Pack-esque sense of humour, a penchant for non-sequiturs and a willingness to send himself up.

The show's recent storyline, which had been running since late last year (who says WWE doesn't do long term booking?), concerns a controversial Cody Rhodes bowling victory. This has involved his golden boot prize being held in abeyance, Rhodes launching an investigation into alleged chicanery at WWE headquarters, the discovery of JBL’s secret nephew Clem Layfield, and a case being brought against Cody in wrestlers’ court (which is a real thing, for the record).

Episode 71 was little more than a recap show, reminding people of why what’s happening is happening and keeping a current voting poll, which will decide the fate of Cody’s JBL and Cole Show career (or possibly Bradshaw leave the show). The most significant aspect of the programme was the debut of Hulk Hogan. And that was more because he’s Hulk Hogan than because he did anything noteworthy. In fact it wouldn’t surprise me at all if he’s never watched the show. No, I’ll go one better than that. It would surprise me if he has.

*** 

At time of writing this episode of The JBL and Cole Show can be watched here.

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 47

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 47 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

This episode sees the debut of a new recurring feature. It is imaginatively titled Three Things. The premise of it is simple. We take three wrestlers, tag teams, or other role in wrestling and think of things (three to be precise) that could be done to improve them.

Here we apply it to three WWE tag teams. I won’t mention any specifics because I think finding out who we’re talking about and how we think they could be bettered is a large part of what makes the episode enjoyable. Although it’s possible you can guess through a process of elimination.

I will say that I think WWE is overlooking their tag team division and not doing as much as they could with the teams they have. It’s not that the doubles scene is bad. It’s been improving for around eighteen months now. In that time we’ve seen Team Hell No, The Rhodes Scholars, The Shield and the Rhodes bros doing everything they can to make the division and the titles mean something. The spate of six man tags involving The Shield and The Wyatt Family has helped too.

Do we have ideas to improve Goldust and Cody Rhodes

But WWE are at risk of losing this. The Rhodes brothers seem to have been cooled off a little since losing the championships in January and The Shield have been moved away from doubles action this year. Even The Prime Time Players, a duo who had lots of potential to work as a fun supporting act but never got the chance to be as good as they could be, have been split (read my thoughts on that stupidity here). The division is currently in the hands of teams that are mostly proficient but seem unlikely to keep the momentum of recent times going.

Of course, wrestling well is fine. It’s better to have good wrestling than bad, especially when it comes to an aspect of WWE programming that hasn’t been handled too well for much of the last decade. But there’s more to wrestling than just putting on good matches, especially in WWE. The tag scene is the perfect place for WWE to be experimental with characters and gimmicks or for humour to be inserted into shows. These things are important to keeping shows varied and for experimenting with guys who could be stars for the company in the future.

If the Usos are left as the centrepiece team of the division it’s not going to take long for the good work of Daniel Bryan, Kane, Cody Rhodes, Goldust and ‘The Hounds of Justice’ to be undone. Even if Luke Harper and Erick Rowan, the obvious choices to oppose Jimmy and Jey in the post-‘Mania season, are moved into the division it will lack the variety of the last year and a half.

SmackTalk 14.03.14

This episode of SmackDown typified how little attention WWE pays to the show. With WrestleMania three weeks away it’s clear that everything that means something is being saved for RAW, because that’s the show that people associate with big announcements. SmackDown is the supplementary show that does a bit more wrestling and catches people up with Monday night happenings.

Think Triple H’s promo on Daniel Bryan proves me wrong? Think again. Nothing of interest is said by a shakier than usual ‘Game’. The aim is to remind everyone that Triple H and Bryan are going to face off at WrestleMania, and that D-Bry will get added to the main event if he wins. There was no new information and there won’t be until Tripper interacts with Bryan. Which will happen on RAW, naturally.

But just because nothing important happens doesn’t mean SmackDown’s not enjoyable. The quality of matches was high. The tag team opener, Sandow versus Rollins, and Ziggler versus Del Rio were all above average, and Bray Wyatt versus Kofi Kingston and the heavyweight main event clash were both inoffensive affairs. Even the Divas match between Nikki Bella and Tamina was watchable.

Most importantly this show demonstrated consistency. No major storyline advancements occurred but everyone who appeared was a known quantity who did what we as an audience expected from them. Predictability isn’t good all the time, but when it results in reliable second tier shows I think there’s something to be said for it. If WWE could get storylines going for everyone on the card, no matter how minor, I think their product would be about as good as it can get. As it is it’s not far off.

Opening

Tweet 1: Let's tweet some smack.

Tweet 2: Cena being prominent in the SmackDown opening is a bit ridiculous isn't it? He's barely ever on the show.
Tweet 3: I imagine he'll be opening the show now...

The Real Americans v The Rhodes Brothers

Tweet 4: Oh no. It's the Real Americans. Lovely stuff. Antonio Cesaro. Heeeeeey...

Tweet 5: Michael Cole needs to start referring to Swagger as 'Big Hoss'. Not just because it's on Swag's jacket but because it's funny.
Tweet 6: Loving Cesaro nearly dropping Cody then powering him up like he's nothing.
Tweet 7: If The Real Americans split who will Zeb side with. Realistically it should be Cesaro. But Swagger needs a manager more.


Cesaro is a swinger

Tweet 8: Duelling tags. Uh-oh-spaghetti-ohs!
Tweet 9: Yeah if I was Swagger and Cesaro beating up a weakened man I'd totes run away from Jimmy and Jey Uso too...

Triple H promo

Tweet 10: Bryan v Triple H is what's best for business. As is the title match stipulation.

Tweet 11: Cole's got heat with Triple H. 'The Game' stood him up. #heat
Tweet 12: Daniel Bryan's not on SmackDown because of the people. Nothing to do with him being on a house show at all.
Tweet 13: This promo is all over the place. What do you want to say, Triple H? Sort that out and say it.
Tweet 14: Alright, D-Bry's an underdog. We get it. We don't need to hear it said fifty different ways.
Tweet 15: "At WrestleMania I put an end to your dreams and I bury Daniel Bryan" - Triple H, who had to know what he was saying there
Tweet 16: What happened to Sandow's push? Did it disappear along with the sleeves of his T-shirts?
Tweet 17: Triple H is fine saying talent but not wrestler. Priceless.
Tweet 18: Is Triple H shrinking or is Sandow taller than I thought?

Damien Sandow v Seth Rollins

Tweet 19: Rollins facing Sandow. Who's the face here?

Tweet 20: It's Rolins, isn't it? Even though he's got back-up at ringside.
Tweet 21: If Triple H wanted to punish Sandow shouldn't he have booked him against Kane? Or Reigns? Or all three Shield guys?
Tweet 22: Rollins is a good wrestler but he's not intimidating is my point.
Tweet 23: Ambrose won't fist bump. But he will instigate a beatdown. And a triple power bomb.
Tweet 24: How much posing do these three want to do...?

Damien Sandow: staring at lights and fists

Big E v Fandango

Tweet 25: Faaaaaan... daaaaaan... goooooo's still got it. #neverlostit
Tweet 26: What the Andre battle royal needs is some grace and class. Because Andre was known for both.
Tweet 27: I wish JBL would stop pushing Fandango's win over Jericho as the biggest upset in WrestleMania history.
Tweet 28: Everyone knows it's Sheikh winning the gimmick battle royal.
Tweet 29: I've nothing against Big E but he shouldn't be squashing Fandango.
Tweet 30: I can't hear the Big Ending mentioned without thinking it sounds filthy.

Bad News Barrett gives some bad news

Tweet 31: I've got some bad news. There's a Bad News Barrett segment...

Tweet 32: "Look at that podium!" - Fan of podiums, Michael Cole
Tweet 33: Barrett's bad news was that The Undertaker will lose at 'Mania which will lead to everyone watching getting fired.

RAW Recap: Hulk Hogan and John Cena are confronted by The Wyatt Family

Tweet 34: I can't be the only one who noticed that Hogan placed himself right in the middle of the ring for the Wyatt promo on RAW.

Tweet 35: He literally stole Cena's spotlight.

Bray Wyatt v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 36: Bray Wyatt doesn't need the SmackDown Crowd Noise Machine.

Tweet 37: Wyatt versus Kingston. Technically this is a pay-per-view quality match. Y'know, cos they faced each other at Battleground last year.
Tweet 38: I'm not a fan of Kofi's Joker tights. He'd look good with a Spider-man design.
Tweet 39: "You are far less a man than I" - Bray 'Mid-Match Promo' Wyatt
Tweet 40: If Wyatt wins he gets his own era? Is that an official stip?

Bray Wyatt: maxing and relaxing

Kane speaks to The Shield backstage

Tweet 41: Corporate Kane is one of the best things in wrestling today.

Tweet 42: That they're still using the flame motif for Kane is great. It doesn't make sense any more but who cares?

Nikki Bella v Tamina

Tweet 43: Nikki Bella stretching there. No comment.

Tweet 44: Nikki's hat is covered in spikes. Is that what fashion is now? If so you can keep it.
Tweet 45: AJ's on commentary talking about how the Divas division has stepped up. She's wrong.
Tweet 46: That was a rough looking super kick from Tamina.
Tweet 47: Nikki using the backbreaker drop is pretty impressive. The win over Tamina's not bad either.


This is called a Rack Attack. True story

Dolph Ziggler v Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 48: That people still react to Ziggler is encouraging. I don't think he's getting pushed again though.

Tweet 49: This match could be really good if they're given ten minutes. I doubt they will be.
Tweet 50: Is there a more overused spot in wrestling than wrestlers insisting to the referee that they should have just made a three count?
Tweet 51: Pretty sure Ziggler does it in every match.
Tweet 52: Fameasser!! #BadAssBillyZiggler
Tweet 53: Inverted superplex. Impressive that they're pulling that out on SmackDown.
Tweet 54: Ziggler over clean with the Zig Zag. Great match considering the time they had.
Tweet 55: Ziggler's in the Andre battle royal. Someone's got to take the bumps...
Tweet 56: Ziggler saying he'll finally get his WrestleMania Moment could lead to an interesting story. Have him go for it every year and always miss.
Tweet 57: Then in four or five years give him something really memorable on the show.

Carlos Colon Hall of Fame announcement

Tweet 58: Carlos Colon's going into the Hall of Fame. And it's being announced on SmackDown.

Tweet 59: Twenty-six time WWC heavyweight champ. You may also be interested to know that he owned the promotion.
Tweet 60: I want Mideon to induct him.

Kane v Big Show

Tweet 61: Kane’s vest status: existential.

Tweet 62: Will Michael Cole reference the tag title reigns Kane and Show have had? Doubtful.
Tweet 63: Nip slip from Big Show there.
Tweet 64: Choke slam attempt versus choke slam attempt. This is drama!
Tweet 65: Big Show kicks out of a choke slam from the top rope. All the big moves are getting pulled out for this show.
Tweet 66: Nice that Rollins was the one to call off that attack. WWE seem to be going out of their way to not make one Shield guy a leader.
Tweet 67: And Kane goes down to a choke slam. Not even a top rope one. What a baby.

Poor Kane

Tweet 68: And then Kane takes a spear. No triple power bomb though. He probably asked not to be subjected to that. Like a baby.

SmackTalk 21.02.14

For the final (relatively) significant piece of WWE television to air before the arrival of The WWE Network SmackDown felt anti-climactic. The new streaming service was, to the best of my recollection, not mentioned once and the Elimination Chamber pay-per-view was half-hearted. It was as though WWE were producing a piece of television by the numbers. While that’s nothing new I would have expected their final non-Network era piece of work to be more meaningful.

As understated as the show was it was still enjoyable. The opening two matches in particular were very good. The first saw Daniel Bryan defeat Jack Swagger relatively quickly with a running knee. The second also featured Bryan, this time tangling with his old indy foe ‘Don’t Call Him Antonio’ Cesaro. That one got longer and was more enjoyable, even though it saw Bryan writhing in pain for a lot of its run time.

The main event, Christian v Sheamus, wasn’t bad but wasn’t especially good either. It was a standard match from the two men. That they’re deemed worthy of headlining SmackDown demonstrates how little effort is put into the programme these days. The same match closing RAW simply wouldn’t happen.

A better choice for the main event would have been the lively six man tag that pitted Erick Rowan, Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt against Goldust, Cody Rhodes, and Rey Mysterio. The Wyatts are easily as over an act as either Christian or Sheamus, Goldust and Cody aren’t far behind and Rey Mysterio, for all he’s falling apart and passed his best, can still excel in multi-man showings. It was the best match on the show.

Opening

Tweet 1: It's SmackTalk time!
Tweet 2: Nothing says B show like a Christian v Sheamus main event.

Daniel Bryan v Jack Swagger

Tweet 3: But don't worry, Daniel Bryan's in the opener! "Why put the most over man in the company on last?" he asked rhetorically.

Tweet 4: Lengthy recaps of RAW happenings. Never a good sign. Still, it's nice to see Kane wrestling in his vest again.
Tweet 5: Swagger v Bryan? And we could have had Cesaro v Bryan. #continueddisappointmentofSwaggersexistence
Tweet 6: Anyone else noticed that Zeb Colter usually wears a tie? I like that. So few people dress for ringside anymore.
Tweet 7: Just look at Jerry Lawler.
Tweet 8: Actually, don’t.
Tweet 9: I still don't understand why The Real Americans aren't wrestling in red, white and blue gear. Natural fit for their characters.
Tweet 10: Swagger's working the injured arm but I bet he'll still try the ankle lock at some point.
Tweet 11: Swagger gets randomly belted with the knee then loses. Completely unsurprising result.

Daniel Bryan v Cesaro

Tweet 12: Oh look, it’s Rita Repulsa!

Tweet 13: Oh we ARE getting Bryan v Cesaro? Delightful.

Bryan v Cesaro never gets old

Tweet 14: JBL says it's best for business. I think that line's played out by WWE. Does Triple H even say it anymore?
Tweet 15: How many times has Vickie Guerrero been the SmackDown general manager? It's got to be at least four.
Tweet 16: Michael Cole concedes that, on paper, Bryan v Cesaro is best for business.
Tweet 17: "Whaddaya doing, Jack?" - Unbiased commentator Michael Cole
Tweet 18: "No! No!" - Jack Swagger, misunderstanding the concept of yes chants
Tweet 19: Why was Kane's walk down to ringside not televised? That could have been a highlight of this show.
Tweet 20: Why refer to your most popular wrestler as a gnome and a farm animal?
Tweet 21: Small package followed by a Swiss Death European uppercut. Good exchange. Nice that those moves are now established as convincing finishes.
Tweet 22: Kane interferes. What a bad dude. I'm pretty much convinced he's going to do the same at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 23: I'm getting worried that WWE are planning Kane v Bryan at WrestleMania. The correct use of Bryan at 'Mania is a triple threat title match.

Christian speaks to Renee Young backstage

Tweet 24: Christian getting some boos there.

Tweet 25: 'The Man of the Peeps' lashing out at the fans there. No reason for it beyond reminding us he's a heel now.
Tweet 26: I'm bored of all WWE heels sounding the same.

The Wyatt Family v Goldust, Cody Rhodes and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 27: JBL is wearing a polka dot tie and a checked shirt. Not cool, bro. #fashionsense

Tweet 28: The Wyatt Family are being booed. What exactly have they done or said to make them heels?
Tweet 29: Bray Wyatt: king of nonsense.
Tweet 30: Remember when Mysterio and Cody Rhodes hated each other and Dusty came in to betray his pal for his son? Well now they're tagging together.
Tweet 31: I miss Goldust’s pink gloves.
Tweet 32: "Constantly talking in riddles..." - Michael Cole on Bray Wyatt. I think he was thinking of The Riddler
Tweet 33: Goldust needs a better brand of face paint. The one he currently uses is always running. Maybe put in a call to Prince Devitt...
Tweet 34: Goldy gets the hot tag to Cody. Has Rey even been in this match yet?
Tweet 35: Ah he's just tagged in. Knee status: frisky.
Tweet 36: I couldn't be more pleased that Harper escaped the 619. Mysterio is a smug little ferret who needs taking down a peg.
Tweet 37: Erick Rowan is tossing Rey Mysterio around in a bear hug. It's not particularly interesting but bless 'im for trying.
Tweet 38: "He's like a member of the MENSA society" - Michael Cole on... wait for it... Bray Wyatt

FYI: Rey Mysterio's outfit was modeled on the Swiss flag

Tweet 39: Goldust is the most over man on his team. WWE need to find a way of transferring some of that reaction to Cody permanently before they split.
Tweet 40: Tasty little springboard from Cody there.
Tweet 41: Great finishing sequence to that match. Lots going on and people being taken out. Right result too: Wyatt over Goldust with Sister Abigail.

Sheamus speaks to Byron Saxon backstage

Tweet 42: Sheamus, cut back on the hair gel, yeah?
Tweet 43: "A fired up Christian is just what the doctor ordered!" - Sheamus, revealing his view on America's leading religion

Renee Young hosts a dance off involving Emma, Santino, Summer Rae and Faaaaaan… daaaaaan… goooooo

Tweet 44: Emma and Santino... *rolls eyes*

Tweet 45: Renee Young's hosting the dance off, so it's not all bad.
Tweet 46: And in fairness I love me some Fandango.
Tweet 47: I wasn't that into this crowd to begin with but they've completely lost by not humming Fandango's music.
Tweet 48: Cole's feigned enjoyment of Emma's dancing is nauseating.
Tweet 49: #hipaction
Tweet 50: Forget Bryan, Fandango v Santino needs to be the WrestleMania main event! #grudgematch

Titus O’Neil v Dolph Ziggler

Tweet 51: I'm still a fan of Titus O'Neil even though he's not going anywhere as a singles wrestler.

Tweet 52: Darren Young's on commentary claiming that The Prime Time Players were the roughest and toughest tag team in WWE. He is incorrect.
Tweet 53: This match is a waste of Dolph Ziggler.
Tweet 54: Darren 'You Know What?" Young.
Tweet 55: Nice that Ziggler won but doing it off a WHISTLE distraction? C'mon, WWE.

Road Dogg v Jimmy Uso

Tweet 56: The Usos gets a televised entrance but the Outlaws don't? Poor...

Tweet 57: It says something about the younger members of the WWE roster that Road Dogg has worked the crowd better than anyone else on this show.
Tweet 58: Yes, including Bryan. He's more over than Road Dogg but he was selling for most of his matches. There wasn't much interaction there.
Tweet 59: Road Dogg loses. That makes me think the Outlaws will be winning at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 60: So does Michael Cole saying that the Usos have the Outlaws' number.

Sheamus v Christian

Tweet 61: FELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!

Tweet 62: "Sheamus is out there, cue up the piped in crowd noise, quick!"
Tweet 63: After my comments about Road Dogg's crowd interactions it's probably fair to point at that Sheamus is also doing well in that area.

Tweet 64: Who does Michael Cole think has the most momentum going into the Chamber match? Cesaro...

Tweet 65: Even if that were true (it's not) Cesaro ain't winning the WWE title at EC.
Tweet 66: Orton's never won a Chamber match. That's another reason to predict a victory for him.
Tweet 67: Why did Sheamus take a bump near the timekeeper's table? He wanted to look up Lilian Garcia's dress. #filthySheamus
Tweet 68: It sounded like Sheamus just shouted "I'm Irish!"
Tweet 69: JBL's sports guru gimmick is annoying.
Tweet 70: Mostly because he only knows things because he looks them up specially on Wikipedia, as opposed to having a genuine interest.
Tweet 71: JBL thinks Christian is bad looking. What he needs is a blue dot over his face...
Tweet 72: Tornado DDT being countered into the Irish Curse was nice.
Tweet 73: Anyone who thought Christian would win doesn't know WWE. 
Tweet 74: SmackDown ends with Sheamus hitting his own chest and then being knocked out of the ring by Christian.

It was never going to end well for Christian

Tweet 75: Maybe 'The Celtic Warrior' will be the man jobbed out by Lesnar at Elimination Chamber.
Tweet 76: I don't want to see that. Because ti will almost certainly mean we're getting Lesnar v Shaymo.