WWE Live From MSG: Lesnar Versus Big Show review

This was not a pay-per-view. It was a Network special. That was an important distinction to remember watching this event because the standard of WWE PPVs is generally pretty high while the previous two Network exclusive cards had been rejigged house shows with a camera crew and a production budget. By now it's clear that Network shows are not going to be of a pay-per-view standard. It you expected a lot from this show you were always going to be disappointed. But was it good on its own level? Let's find out...

After a brief opening video package focusing on the Cena v Rollins cage match and Big Show v Lesnar we were introduced to the show by Rich Brennan, JBL and Byron Saxton. JBL has lost his edge and Byron is irritating but Brennan is good and warrants more chances to call bigger shows like this. It's cool to see a bit of experimentation with the commentary lineups even if two of the guys have their drawbacks. Announcing is probably one of the most stale parts of the product.

The opening match was Rusev and Sheamus versus Dolph Ziggler and Randy Orton. That Orty was on curtain jerk duty demonstrates that he has virtually nothing going on right now. This was a holdover from his rivalry with Sheamus which ended a while ago. There was no reason for it to be revived here beyond a mentality of "Welp, let's stick Orton on the spesh!"It was also strange that this was the first broadcast match in which Rusev and Orton faced each other because that's a singles pairing that could have been saved and built up. They could have done it here. The venue was ideal and it would have made Network specials seem more worthwhile, even if the match had ended up relatively basic.

The four ran through standard house show stuff, something which would be a theme throughout the evening. The faces larked about because they're Great Mates (or something) while the heels glowered. Shaymo and Rusev controlled most of the match before a hot tag was made, ultimately leading to the finish. The Show Off Vipers won when Orton sidestepped a brogue kick and Ziggler super kicked 'The Celtic Warrior' into an RKO.

After the match Rusev called Sheamus a "stupid non-American" (implying Rusev's hate campaign now includes both Americans and non-Americans, truly a vast scope) and berated him for being stupid, losing the bout, and being more useless than Lana. Sheamus Brogued him and sauntered to the back. The purpose of this was lost on me. They're not going to do Rusev v Sheamus. They're not going to turn either man face. It was just a way of killing a little bit of time.

Next was a recap. We were shown Rollins Pedigreeing Kane on RAW and the whole multiple personality thing that's going on with the COO pretending his unaware of his antics as 'The Demon'. Then Renee caught up with him in the back. He teased being out of control but ultimately assured Renee that if the demon that's been terrorising Seth appeared he'd come running. This isn't the best feud for Rollins or the best spot for Kane in 2015 but Kane is great with the material he's being given. He's one of WWE's better wrestlers at handling comedy segments.

Match two was Stardust v Neville. It was a fun match but there was nothing exceptional on offer. It was the quality of a standard TV match between the two. Neville won with the Red Arrow. I was disappointed we didn't get to see the Cosmic Wasteland out in full force, either as backup for 'The Prince of Dark Matter' or as part of a trios match.

Renee Young got more screen time after that when she chatted to Paul Heyman. He taught her how to do hyperbole, introducing himself and the show, building up MSG and dropping an uncharacteristic sports team mention. He ended by telling Big Show he'd be losing to Barack Lesnar. It was standard Heyman. Not that that's a bad thing.

Team Bella got a loud pop when they entered for their six woman tag match, actually louder than the ones Paige, Becky lynch and Charlotte got for their individual entrances. This illustrates that for all certain people hate on them the Bellas are genuinely popular with the majority of WWE crowds. That's overlooked too often. Their popularity is why the Bellas are so valuable to the company and they haven't been quietly de-pushed in favour of the new batch of call-ups.

The story of the match was that Team Bella had better teamwork than Team PCB because they all get on, although this came as much from commentary as it did from anything anyone did in the majority of the match. Aside from Paige showing some generally snarky body language and tagging herself in on Charlotte PCB got on fine. The Bellas and Fox managed to control the match less because of problems on the opposing team and more because they were simply better and outwrestled their opponents. This sort of booking will only help those face reactions. It makes Nikki, Brie and Alicia look competent, and modern audiences like competent wrestlers.

Dissension did play a part in the finish. Paige had tagged herself in and been worked over for a while. She finally managed to break away to make a tag only for Charlotte and Becky to jump to the floor. A shocked Paige was left alone to eat a Rack Attack from Nikki, putting her down for three. After the match Paige said she'd never behave like that and that she couldn't forgive their behaviour. This made sense for the PCB characters and long term stories it's just a pity it was all tied together with an average match.

Chris Jericho cut a promo about his twenty-five years in the business and pointed out Lance Storm before his IC championship bout with Kevin Owens. He pandered to the crowd by chatting about his dad playing hockey at MSG and pointing out more friends in the crowd (including one of my faves, Don 'Cyrus' Callis) and running through his catchphrases. The audience responded well to this but it didn't put them off KO. They were always going to pop for the former NXT champ.

This was the best thing I've seen involving 'Y2J' in I don't know how long. I'm chalking that up to Owens, a guy whose character and ring work I enjoy, because 'Y2J' did nothing outside of his usual "embarrassing dad" routine. Y'know, the same moves and mannerisms he's been doing for years. The match was lacking  in big moves from KO but that was okay, it played into his character: he got a cheap win raking Jericho's eyes and rolling him up as he tried for the Walls of Jericho. Then he left shouting "Happy anniversary!"

The first truly great moment of the night was New Day's pre-match promo on the Dudleys. They danced, the mocked the Dudleys' routine, and Xavier played the trombone. I'd recommend watching this skit and the last two matches from this show.

Sadly the match that followed couldn't equal that greatness. It was good, maybe slightly better than their clash at Night of Champions, but it was let down by another disqualification finish. The Dudleys caught Kofi with a 3D (outta nowhere) and Xavier, not legally in the match for his team, broke the pin up to save the belts. As with NOC New Day grabbed a table after the match only for Bubba and Devon to make a miraculous comeback and put Xavier through it with another 3D.

I understand the logic here. The Dudleys are chasing the belts and keep getting denied them by the rotten, cheating bad guys, which will eventually lead them to issuing the challenge for a tables match. But the specifics are uninventive. They could at least have come up with a different sequence to end on. Network specials may be treated internally as house shows but if we're expected to take it as a reason to subscribe (or stay subscribed) to the Network it needs to present us with more than reruns. DQ finishes aren't really the problem, the repetitiveness of them is. 

A picture of your boy Brock Lesnar. Because why not?

Big Show and Brock Lesnar took the semi-main event slot. They deviated from the Lesnar format established over the last few years with Show fending off the clotheslines, double leg takedowns, and suplex attempts thrown at him and dropping 'The Pain' with three choke slams. Lesnar would kick out and comeback with four suplexes and an F5 to win a four minute match. No, it wasn't exactly Show trouncing Lesnar and Lesnar getting a fluke win but Show got a lot more on offence in than I'd expected him to. 'The World's Largest Athlete' let tone giants everywhere down. Andre watched on from the big ring in the sky shaking his head sadly.

After the match Lesnar left then returned to give Show a belly-to-belly and an F5. Because there's time that needs filling on that there Network.

After some ads and a reminder of the two previous PPV encounters in their feud, including Jon Stewart's (who was in the front row) interference at SummerSlam, the cage lowered and we got the main event: United States champion John Cena defending against world champion Seth Rollins. In terms of match quality nothing else on this show came close to this, not that that's saying a great deal. They traded escape attempts, top rope moves, near falls (for the record I hate pinfalls and submissions being a thing in cage matches, but at least these guys made good use of them), an amusing but brief top-of-the-cage boo-yay, and signature and finisher attempts before Kane wandered out and scared Rollins back into the cage just as he was about to escape and regain the US title. Rollins dithered between leaping down and getting the title, leaving himself prone to an attack from Kane, and returning to the ring to defeat Cena honourably, something against his standard behaviour. 'The Future' chose the latter, leaping off the cage with a frog splash. Cena rolled out of the way and immediately scooped Seth up for an AA. That was enough to earn Big Match John a three count. Arguments could be made that this weakened the WWE champ but I'd disagree. He fell to an established match-winning finisher from a top guy after throwing himself to the mat from ten feet in the air.

After the match Kane got into the ring and choke slammed and Tombstoned the WWE champion. The show closed with 'The Demon' dropping the title belt on Rollins and leaving. Because, hey, there are rivalries to keep heated here for the more important shows, okay?

Taken as the glorified house show from a major arena that it was this special was fine. The main event was good and Lesnar v Show provided what it needed to and surprised us as it did so. Everything else would have fitted in on an episode of RAW but this was at least shorter.

***

Results summary:

Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler defeated Sheamus and Rusev

Adrian Neville defeated Stardust

Team Bella defeated Team PCB

Kevin Owens defeated Chris Jericho to retain the Intercontinental championship

The Dudley Boyz defeated New Day by DQ

Brock Lesnar defeated Big Show

John Cena defeated Seth Rollins to retain the United States championship

No Mercy 2002 review

WWE recently announced Brock Lesnar's Go to Hell tour, a month of Network-related content centred around 'The Beast' himself. It culminate with a Lesnar versus Undertaker Hell in a Cell match. Having watched WWE for a while my first thought when this was announced was that it's a repeat of the No Mercy 2002 main event, which saw Bikertaker face 'The Next Big Thing' inside the Cell. I thought I'd give that show a watch in preparation for their rematch almost exactly thirteen years later. Here's what I thought...

Intro

Tweet 1: 'Taker versus Lesnar in Hell in a Cell has me so hyped that I'm going to watch No Mercy 2002, the show that featured their first HIAC match.

Tweet 2: Such a powerful opening shot. No better way to start a pay-per-view...

Tweet 3: I know nothing about this show other than it has Undertaker v Lesnar in a HIAC match...
Tweet 4: The intro vid is clearing some things up. Triple H v Kane is happening. It's World title v IC title. And it's the Katie Vick feud.
Tweet 5: Also, Heyman just said HIAC is Taker's signature. You're forgetting the dreaded casket match there, Paul mate.

World tag team championship: Chris Jericho and Christian (c) v Booker T and Goldust

Tweet 6: Opener features Chris Jericho. Seems to be heel Jericho. Timeline feels right for him to tagging with Christian.

Tweet 7: Yeah, nailed it. Christian will save this opener for me.
Tweet 8: Prime Christian.

Tweet 9: This show is thirteen years old and features JR knocking Fozzy.
Tweet 10: The Canadian Lads v Bookdust. Jericho aside this should be good.
Tweet 11: Trying to figure out if Jericho was still good at this point. The crowd are giving him some mad heat. That indicates he was.
Tweet 12: They're crazy into the main man, future royalty Booker T too. Little Rock, Arkansas knows what's up.
Tweet 13: Weird period for Jerry Lawler this. He's still pro-heel but he's happy when faces do their big spots.
Tweet 14: He seems keen to see a Spinneroonie here, for example.
Tweet 15: I miss Shattered Dreams. Possibly the best low blow with theatrics in the entire history of the grapple game.
Tweet 16: "A Spinneroonie, razorback style!" - Jim Ross, prompting a strong you wot, mate?
Tweet 17: Jericho won off a top rope moonsault. You know, the top rope moonsault he was always doing.

Funaki interviews Al Wilson backstage

Tweet 18: YES.

Tweet 19: Getting a recap of Al Wilson's relationship with Dawn Marie. I've stumbled into one of WWE's hottest post-Attitude Era periods.
Tweet 20: This is what wrestling's all about, folks.

Tweet 21: "Why were you wearing your clothes in the shower?" - Funaki to Al Wilson

Dawn Marie v Torrie Wilson

Tweet 22:  Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson are about to do a wrestle. Michael Cole and The Tazz are on commentary. This show just got rough.

Tweet 23: SmackDown was considered the work rate brand at this point wasn't it...?
Tweet 24: "We want puppies!" - The crowd within seconds of this match beginning
Tweet 25: Tazz and Cole analysing the win-loss record of these two against one another in lingerie matches.
Tweet 26: Spot where Dawn and Torrie roll about with the referee there. Dawn had a go at him because she's a heel.
Tweet 27: Face women of this era were fine being felt up apparently.
Tweet 28: Torrie winning off a swinging neck breaker because why not?

Jonathan Coachman interviews Rob Van Dam backstage

Tweet 29: Great chinos on Coach here. Meanwhile RVD sets himself up as a man of the people and parodies Ric Flair. It's poor.

Tweet 30: Not hyped for Flair v Van Dam.
Tweet 31: Who's this Tracey lass? JR says she's a Jezebel. Jerry thinks she's hot. Has she made accusations against 'Mean' Mark? No memory of this.

Ric Flair v Rob Van Dam

Tweet 32: "He is Ric Flair" - Jerry Lawler on Ric Flair

Tweet 33: The opening minute has been far better than I expected tbf.
Tweet 34: Lol at JR saying Flair may have won thousands of matches with the figure four.
Tweet 35: Rob Van Dam can't sell a figure four. Who knew?
Tweet 36: Quite enjoying this match and I'm going to credit that to 'Naitch' because I dislike more of RVD's work than I like outside of ECW.

Big Show chats to Stephanie McMahon backstage until Eric Bischoff turns up and says he owns him

Tweet 37: WE-ELLLLLLLLL it's a Big Show backstage segment. Top notch stuff.

Tweet 38: Yet another highlight here: the Bischoff and Stephanie feuding GMs thing.
Tweet 39: "I'm a giant!" - Big Show
Tweet 40: Show angry that he's not been on PPV since July. He was overweight and lazy. I'm with Bisch on this. Good call, buddy. Keep him off shows.
Tweet 41: Everyone's favourite IC title memory.

Cruiserweight championship match: Jamie Noble (c) v Yoshiro Tajiri

Tweet 42: Tajiri in a cruiserweight title match? I'm down.

Tweet 43: YES.

Tweet 44: Just noticed Brian Hebner is refereeing this match. I'm not going to let it get to me.
Tweet 45: First mention of women being tomatoes from Tazz there.
Tweet 46: Tazz putting over Tajiri and saying he's been in the ring with him. Failing to mention he wasn't happy facing or selling for him.
Tweet 47: Sickened by Michael Cole not talking about educated feet when Tajiri started doing some kicks.
Tweet 48: Nidia's not doing much here. Pretty much sums up her run. I always thought she was good and deserved more than she got. #justsaying
Tweet 49: Nidia helps Noble win. Tajiri forces himself on her to even the score. She smiles about it. This booking though...

Los Guerreros, Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] backstage

Tweet 50: Awks backstage segment.

World Heavyweight championship v Intercontinental championship unification: Triple H (WHC) v Kane (IC)

Tweet 51: Kane being pushed as a top guy by embracing being a "freak". My word.

Tweet 52: Clean shaven Triple H accusing 'The Big Red Machine' of murdering sweet, innocent Katie Vick, the purest girl in all of rasslin'.
Tweet 53: I remember hating this match at the time it happened.
Tweet 54: Jerry Lawler trying to flesh out the Katie Vick story is just ridiculous. Who, other than Vince, thought this story was a good idea?
Tweet 55: Let the record show Kane is wearing his sexy semi-see-through ring gear here.
Tweet 56: Lawler cracking jokes about a kayfabe dead woman. Whadda pro.
Tweet 57: This match would be so much more enjoyable if it featured time-travelled-from-the-future Corporate Kane. In a vest.
Tweet 58: I'd be interested in knowing who thought Triple H v Kane would interest people in 2002.
Tweet 59: Plus side: this is the best period of Triple H's career as far as his hair is concerned.
Tweet 60: Hahahahaha run-in by The Hurricane hahahahaha.
Tweet 61: "Triple H is still alive" - Jerry Lawler, who I fully expected to follow up with "... unlike Katie Vick!"
Tweet 62: Imagine if another human being actually hit another human being in the head with a sledgehammer though.
Tweet 63: Lost count of the number of ref bumps in this match. Genuinely more than I remember from any Attitude Era main event.

Stephanie McMahon chats to Tracey in the office

Tweet 64: Another segment with this Tracey woman who I don't remember. She just called 'Mean' Mark a bastard. #strongwords

Tweet 65: Stephanie and Tracey having a heart-to-heart, just them and the cameras.
Tweet 66: Tracey confiding in Stephanie that she lied and wants 'Taker back. In front of cameras. Also Undertaker WAS STOOD IN THE ROOM.

Tag team championship tournament finals: Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] v Edge and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 67: Should be good.

Tweet 68: By good I mean I'm pretty sure it won some MOTY awards.
Tweet 69: "Kurt Angle in search of the one title that's eluded him" - Michael Cole as Angle entered for a match to crown the first ever champs
Tweet 70: Edge with his poor "Never gonna stop!" Zombie lad entrance music here.
Tweet 71: I'd already recommend this match on the strength of the opening sequence between Mysterio and Angle.
Tweet 72: You'd never get WWE putting some of their best workers and biggest stars in an extended tag feud now. It's a shame.
Tweet 73: This three-way feud shows how effective it can be. I'm sure the strength of his work here helped Edge get over.
Tweet 74: *Waits for Rey to tag in and blow his knee*
Tweet 75: Rey Mysterio doing Bronco Busters... *shakes head*
Tweet 76: 619 to [REDACTED] as he had the [REDACTED] Crossface on is such a great spot.
Tweet 77: That was a career highlight for all four lads. Obviously won't make it onto any compilations because of [REDACTED] but it deserves to.

Undertaker gets something injected into his hand

Tweet 78: What's 'Taker been up to...?

Women's championship: Trish Stratus (c) v Victoria

Tweet 79: Jerry Lawler talking about puppies, JR calling Victoria "chronically pre-menstrual", it could only be a WWE women's match from the early 00s.

Tweet 80: Disappointed Big Stevie Cool isn't paired up with Victoria at this point. That was an under-utilised act.
Tweet 81: Not exactly a classic that. But it was good. Could've done without Dawn v Torrie, splitting the time between this and the cruiser match.

Pre-Hell in a Cell chatter

Tweet 82:

Tweet 83: Pre-match video package establishing that Tracey was with Undertaker in 1995. He looked like this...

WWE championship Hell in a Cell: Undertaker v Brock Lesnar (c)

Tweet 84: The Hell in a Cell main is starting. Think I'm about to watch the best 'Taker-Lesnar HIAC match there will ever be.

Tweet 85: Mat wrestling and a cast plot line. This is how you start Hell in a Cell!
Tweet 86: I'm assuming this ends with Lesnar climbing to the roof and hitting a Shooting Star Press off the roof through a table.
Tweet 87: "The champion seeing his own blood. TASTING his own blood." Get a room, Cole.
Tweet 88: For the record I don't approve of pins or pin attempts outside of the ring in HIAC.
Tweet 89: I wish Tazz would refer to this as a big man extravaganza because that's EXACTLY what it is.
Tweet 90: Undertaker is wrestling in a bandana. I bet his Ministry of Darkness era self would be ashamed to learn of this.
Tweet 91: No Mercy: Battle for the Wank Rag.

Tweet 92: Lesnar and Heyman are both bleeding. If 'Taker doesn't blade it's ridiculous.
Tweet 93: Interesting note: Michael Cole is fully erect throughout this entire match.
Tweet 94: Undertaker versus Brock Lesnar in a Pub Car Park Disagreement match.

Tweet 95: Lol at 'Taker Hulking up here.
Tweet 96: Upset Tazz didn't refer to the choke slam as a goozle.
Tweet 97: This match should end with Brock taking a Tombstone then immediately kipping up to hit an F5.
Tweet 98: Pins on the floor are legal but rope breaks still count. What even are these rules?
Tweet 99: 'Dead Man Inc' fell to a single F5. What a weakling.
Tweet 100: I'll be amazed if they top that at Hell in a Cell.
Tweet 101:

Tweet 102: I liked that match and I liked that show. There was way more to it than I expected.

WWE Night of Champions 2015 review

Following a standard issue excellent video package WWE's eighth annual Night of Champions pay-per-view kicked off with an Intercontinental title match. Defending champ The Ryback got a mixed reaction from the Houston fans. That didn't deter him from running through his "Wake up!" and "It's feeding time!" shtick. Challenger Kevin Owens got a more positive reaction and started out the match with the crowd behind him.

'The Big Guy' spent the first minute or so of the match knocking Owens down to the mat. Then he gorilla pressed him to the outside and encouraged the fans to cheer him. They did. Owens shrugged off the gorilla press and began targeting Ryback's arm. Ryback absorbed various armbars and takedowns, a Russian leg sweep with his arm pinned behind his back, and a senton onto his arm before finally managing to floor KO with a clothesline. Owens escaped a power bomb but got caught with a spinebuster. The champ went to follow up with a meat hook clothesline but Owens struck him with a super kick instead.

That earned Owens a two count. He tried to put the champ away with a pop-up power bomb but The Ryback ducked out of the way and got his meat hook clothesline. Owens was hoisted up for the Shellshock but was spared the move when Ry' realised his elbow was too hurty to fall backwards. Owens took this opportunity to drop down to the mat and shove Ryback arm first into a ring post.

When that only got Owens a two count he hit an arm takedown and locked in an armbar. Ryback sold that for a moment before powering up to his feet and deciding he was, in fact, strong enough to hit Shellshock after all. But it wasn't to be: Owens raked Ryback's eyes before he could be dropped and slipped out of the move again, schoolboying the champ for a three count and the gold.

Owens as champ is a good thing. The reaction he got here, and the reactions he's been receiving on TV lately, showed that people were ready for the change. It's a nice change of pace and a call back to when the IC strap was used as a signified that wrestlers were destined for big things in WWE. Ryback's reign was fine but he'd had it long enough. I think he'll work better as a babyface chasing a rematch anyway. Owens deserves a meaningful run and I think he'll get it.

An ad aired for Brock Lesnar's Go to Hell tour. Next month he'll wrestle Big Show in MSG, appear on Steve Austin's podcast, and then face Undertaker at Hell in a Cell inside the cage. The highlight of this should be Lesnar's appearance on Austin's podcast. If there's any chance of Austin v Lesnar happening this should make it clear. The match with 'Taker could be fun but we've seen it before, at No Mercy 2002 (Lesnar won), and I imagine we'll get another offbeat finish even though the obvious thing to do is have 'The Beast' win decisively.

Match two was Rusev versus Dolph Ziggler. Before the match 'The Bulgarian Brute' told Rich Brennan he wasn't in the mood to chat, he was in the mood for crushing "the puny American" Ziggler. Grade A lad banter from Rusev, that. They also took the opportunity to establish that Summer Rae, Rusev's girlfriend, was wearing earrings 'The Show Off' had given to her on RAW. Because it's a soap opera feud and needs soap opera trappings.

The match was fine, mostly because both lads rarely have a bad match, although there was very little crowd heat between the start and the finish. To keep the ridiculous soap antics of the feud strong the finish saw Summer get involved, hopping onto the apron, taking a bump and being ordered to the back by the referee. She responded by taking offer her shoe and throwing it into the ring where it hit Rusev in the face. Ziggler snuck in a Zig Zag and won. Rusev left alone. Summer screeched in the aisle. Michael Cole delivered what he probably thought was a zinger about the sequence giving new meaning to the word "heel". Let's never speak of any of this again.

Heat magnets New Day entered first (in some absolutely fabulous new gear) for the tag team title match. They cut an anti-Dudleys, pro-table promo in an attempt to turn the crowd against them. It mostly worked, but they're never going to be completely successful because they're just too entertaining.

The match was fun. Big E and Bubba had some stiff big boy exchanges, Kofi was excellent as a cocky heel, and Xavier was cracking riling up the crowd (highlights included smack-talking Bubba, loudly screaming  "New Day!", and playing the Rocky theme on his trombone). Devon was also there. Bubba was isolated for a while before he made a hot tag. Within two minutes of that they'd hit a 3D. Woods broke the count up in front of the ref to cause a DQ, giving the Duds a win but ensuring New Day retained the belts.

After the match New Day beat down Bubba and Devon then set up a table. They didn't get to use it though. The Dudleys recovered and put Woods through it. Presumably this was done to give the crowd something to cheer after such an unsatisfying ending and to create cause for a tables match between the two teams either at the MSG Network special or at Hell in a Cell.

The Divas championship match was not the scorcher we'd get from an NXT women's title match. It was heavy on delay tactics from Nikki towards the start and had a far slower pace. The champion targeted the challenger's leg and kept her on the mat to work it over. It was a logical story that played on Charlotte's figure eight leg lock finish, the idea being that ikki would do such an effective job that Charlotte wouldn't be able to apply her trademark hold effectively. It succeeded in engaging the crowd and kept them invested in Charlotte. It also played to the pair's respective strengths. 'The Nature Girl' is very convincing when it comes to selling and Nikki works best with a slower, more deliberate pace where she's free to interact with the audience without needing to do try anything overly athletic. 

Charlotte would eventually fire up and give Nikki some chops (accompanied by unenthusiastic wooos from the crowd). Nikki fought back, clambered onto the second rope and launched herself at the challenger. Charlotte caught her with a spear and locked in a figure eight leg lock, despite Nikki having effectively worked over her leg for the entire match. Nikki only managed to hold on for about ten seconds before she tapped out.

Compared to what we've seen from Charlotte in NXT this wasn't that great. Compared to the average Divas title match over the last few years it was. Charlotte and Nikki told a story, played to their strengths and provided the clean finish that was needed. I don't think we could have asked for more. Nikki's reign hasn't been bad and I enjoy her work but I'm pleased we've got a new champion. Charlotte defending against her fellow fresh additions is what the division needs now.

After a brief Kevin Owens promo (he said he's a prize fighter who now has a prize), a check-in with the pre-show panel (they said nothing of interest), a commentary team check-in (they blathered about the following match) and a shot of PCB and Flair backstage (Charlotte botched her pa's limousine-ridin' catchphrase then left to celebrate her win) the Wyatts v Shield rivalry was introduced. Of note during the entrances Michael Cole called Dean Ambrose a dude, Roman Reigns got a babyface reaction, and a guy who looked a bit like New Jack slipped into the ring to stand with Reigns and Ambrose before the third man was introduced. Security quickly removed him and Ambrose and Wyatt, being stone cold pros, played the incident up.

The actual third man was Chris Jericho. Because apparently he has to get himself involved with every hot act or feud he can in an effort to convince people, and himself, that he's still relevant and capable of hanging with younger fellas. He isn't and can't. Despite the involvement of 'Y2J' the match was good. Highlights included; Reigns deadlifting Harper into a sit out power bomb; a Harper suicide dive to Reigns followed by a senton on the floor from Bray; Ambrose turning a Sister Abigail into a(n unsuccessful) schoolboy; Strowman being booked to stay on his feet after two Superman punches; a crazy-good spear from Reigns to Strowman; and Jericho being caught in mid-air as he tried the Codebreaker on Strowman and being muscled up for a backbreaker. The finish saw Jericho, who'd tagged himself in as Reigns seemed poised to polish things off, pass out in Strowman's bear hug.

The match was surprisingly short at thirteen and wasn't a patch on the Shield v Wyatts matches of 2014. But equalling them was an unreasonably high expectation for this match. It was the fun outing it needed to be and it had the right result: Reigns and Ambrose should not be able to beat the Wyatts with anyone other than Seth Rollins (and that match will happen again someday). It also seemed to contribute to the long term plan of having Reigns accepted by the majority of fans by getting him a good opening reaction and sticking him in a good match. Following the finish the Shield boys looked disappointed and checked on Jericho. He heelishly barged passed them and wandered up the aisle, setting up Jericho v Reigns and-or Ambrose. Because, as already stated, Jericho has to get involved with every act that could conceivably be considered hot.

Backstage Triple H and Stephanie McMahon told Seth Rollins they believed in him. He said he was the man, pumped himself up and headed off down a corridor. Sheamus wandered up and hinted at a Money in the Bank cash-in. Trips and Stepher looked concerned. If they were that concerned they wouldn't have booked their boy in back-to-back title defences, but there you go.

Despite being the obvious choice for show-closer (see my preview for why) Cena v Rollins took the semi-main event slot. As predicted they tore the house down (not literally) with the match of the night. Rollins hit Cena with a Blockbuster, a tree of woe double stomp, a sling blade, a tope, and a superplex floated into a falcon arrow, amongst other moves. Cena hit Rollins with his belly-to-back suplex, the Five Knuckle Shuffle, a sunset bomb, a tornado DDT, and the STF. They also reversed a number of one another's usual moves, Rollins kicking Cena in the head on a FKS attempt, landing on his feet off an AA, and turning another AA into a sunset flip, Cena turning a buckle bomb a hurricanrana and weaselling out of a Pedigree at least once.

Cena would win the match with an inverted suplex, his Dangerous Top Leg Drop and an AA, giving him his fifth United States title. It's interesting to note that even though the match was packed with big moments there was only one finishing move (the STF is a hold so doesn't count here) and it brought things to a close. This seemed like a concerted effort to rein in the number of finishers in main events matches in an effort to make them mean more.  

After the match 'The Future' grabbed the WWE strap and tried to leave. Cena cut him off and AAed him in the aisle before throwing him back into the ring. The match that followed was heavy on ringside action and big bumps from Rollins, both designed to hide the physical limitations of 56-year-old Steve 'Sting' Borden. For the most part it worked.

Sting dominated Rollins until he headed to the announce area. Rollins shoved 'The Icon' off the English announce table through the Spanish announce table and Sting (kayfabe) cracked his head on a monitor. In the ring Sting took a sling blade, a falcon arrow, and a buckle bomb. The big man from WCW kicked out of them all. Instead of doing the sensible thing and hitting Sting with a Pedigree, Rollins went to the apron and went for a springboard something or other. Sting recovered and shoved him off the ropes into the crowd barricade below.

Rollins pretty much no-sold that and was back in the ring almost immediately. He was met by an amped up Sting. The champ took some right hands and a pair of Stinger splashes. Then Sting pulled out the big guns and tossed Rollins out of the ring to give him a cross body block from the top rope.

In the ring Sting hit the Scorpion Death Drop. Rollins saved himself with a foot on the ropes. Sting got the Stinger splash again then followed up with a mounted ten punch in the corner. Rollins countered that into a buckle bomb. After that Sting collapsed while running the ropes and the referee called the ringside doctor in to check on him. After a bit of a breather he was cleared to continue (a storyline sequence designed to protect Sting). Rollins immediately went for a Pedigree. Sting turned it into a Scorpion Death Lock. Rollins escaped and tried the Pedigree again. Sting again reversed it onto the Death Lock but Rollins reversed that into a small package to get a three count and retain the world title just shy of the fifteen minute mark.

After a few minutes of celebrating from Rollins, Sheamus rushed the ring and Brogue kicked the world champ. Before he could officially cash-in Kane made the return that literally nobody's been waiting for. He continued the Rollins abuse with a choke slam. Shaymo returned to the ring but he was choke slammed too. 'The Big Red Machine' then ended the show by Tombstoning Rollins, leaving us with the question: whose side is he on?

Night of Champions was a good show. There were no outright bad bouts. The opener, Nikki versus Charlotte, and Cena versus Rollins were all very enjoyable. The main event was far from a classic but it was fun if you like a brawl with clever use of big bumps. The booking of Rollins was disappointing. He's supposed to be an undeserving, cowardly champion but he retained the world title clean and held his own with Big Match John, a feat that not just anyone in WWE can manage. They should have gone all the way with him overcoming the odds and had Sheamus take his briefcase title shot only to lose. Three title matches in one night would have really helped Rollins' character.

***

Results summary:

Kevin Owens defeated Ryback to win the Intercontinental championship
Dolph Ziggler defeated Rusev
The Dudley Boyz defeated New Day by DQ
Charlotte defeated Nikki Bella to win the Divas championship
The Wyatt Family defeated Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose and Chris Jericho
John Cena defeated Seth Rollins to win the United States championship
Seth Rollins defeated Sting to retain the WWE championship

WWE Beast in the East review

Beast in the East is the first WWE show in sixteen-and-a-half years to be named after a specific performer. The last one was 1998's Rock themed Rock Bottom, a tag-heavy  show tied into Rock's then-recent swerve heel turn and alignment with Vince McMahon's Corporation. Beast in the East was named, obviously, after 'The Beast Incarnate' Brock Lesnar. It's also a mild alteration to Bam Bam Bigelow's 'Beast from the East' moniker (although the East there referred to the US east coast as opposed to Japan), something which WWE owns the rights to after their purchase of WCW and ECW trademarks and tape libraries well over a decade ago.

There we are. A paragraph of trivia to start! 

Despite being the only performer featured on the poster and giving the event its name Brock Lesnar didn't actually have a high profile match on this card. He wrestled slap bang in the middle of the card and his opponent was Kofi Kingston. While Kofi's a reliable hand he's not the sort of name we've become accustomed to seeing Lesnar face and the match served mostly to highlight that the card was the oddity we'd all been expecting. Basically it made clear that it was more a broadcast house show as opposed to something legitimately special.

Although the show was named after Lesnar it was made clear by the show-opening hype video that the night's real top match was Finn Bálor challenging Kevin Owens for the NXT championship. It was featured far more heavily. The identity of Lesnar's opponent wasn't even mentioned.

The opener was Chris Jericho versus Adrian Neville. It was interesting (to me at least) that Michael Cole talked about Jericho's time in FMW during the 90's but took a while to mention Neville's years in Dragon Gate. Perhaps it's because Dragon Gate's a current promotion and WWE doesn't generally do well acknowledging those. Still, at least they bothered.

The match was nothing special. Neville was left to take the majority of the big bumps and do the running about. Jericho concentrated more on pandering to the fans, running though his key spots, and teasing that he'd dive out of the ring. For a guy who wants to position himself as one of the greatest workers ever his efforts here were poor. They sped things up in the last few minutes but we got a disappointing result: 'Y2J' put his knees up as Neville hit him with the Red Arrow and immediately applied the Walls of Jericho for the tap out victory.

A ten second shot of Brock Lesnar walking into the building followed that (flouting the Company Dress Code by wearing jeans and a non-merch T-shirt). It was more enjoyable that Jericho's ego-fuelled shenanigans.

Match two saw Nikki Bella defend the Divas championship against Paige and Tamina. It should be noted that Tamina enters to some borderline racist jungle drums music. Nikki and Paige have worked against one another more than enough over the last six months to have a pretty good baseline for their matches at this point. Tamina managed to avoid dragging things down and we got a fun three-way. Nikki retained with a forearm to Tamina after a failed Superfly Splash (Paige was outside the ring after taking a super kick from Tamina as she had Nikki locked in the PTO). Yes, Nikki retained with a forearm. Because apparently main roster women's matches don't warrant proper finishes.

After a  video in which Lesnar told us he respects no one and likes hurting people Kofi Kingston clapped his way down to the ring. Like a lamb to the slaughter. What followed was an enjoyable one-sided trouncing. Kofi got some offence in but Lesnar no-sold all of it before grabbing hold of the New Day member, giving him some suplexes, and finishing him off with an F5.

After the match Lesnar gave Kofi a German suplex and another F5. Just because. Big E and Xavier Woods ran out to make the save, which naturally didn't end well for them. They each took an F5. The audience seemed particularly impressed with 'The Pain' hoisting up Big E.

In a peculiar move the NXT championship match followed that. When Lesnar v Kingston went on third I'd assumed Bálor v Owens had been granted the main event slot. Which would have made a great deal of sense considering the popularity of the NXT brand and Bálor's history in Japan. The match had a big fight feel to it and WWE tried to ramp it up by having flowers presented to the competitors. Bálor took his with good grace while Owens hilariously threw his into the crowd and shouted about hating the country. The fans did a better job of making things seem important by festooning the pair in streamers.

As the pair got things off to a wild start with an immediate shotgun drop kick and cross body to the outside from Bálor, Michael Cole did a rare bit of good work as he explained that Bálor had worked his first New Japan show at the Ryōgoku Kokugikan arena (where this show was being held) and referenced a tweet in which he'd mentioned "the return of a Prince." I continued to be astonished at his good work when he referenced Bálor's many accolades, as Prince Devitt, in New Japan.

Meanwhile Bálor and Owens had a spirited exchange in and out of the ring, Bálor controlling the pace until Owens slapped on a headlock. Bálor battled out but it was Owens who was in control after that. He threw Bálor into ring steps outside the ring and landed on him with a senton when he rolled back into the ring at the nine count. The challenger was worn down with another trip out of the ring and then trapped in another headlock.

Bálor battled out and regained momentum with a drop kick to Owens' face and a forearm from the second rope. 'Mr Wresting' fired off some punches and then ran through the set up to Cena's Five Knuckle Shuffle, and the move itself. An AA attempt failed when Bálor slipped off Owens shoulder, knocked him to the mat and double stomped him. Owens tried the AA again. Bálor escaped again and walloped the champ with a Pele kick.

Owens rolled out of the ring to try and regain his composure but was met with a tope then thrown back into the ring to take an inverted Bloody Sunday. Bálor went for the top rope double stomp again but Owens moved and through him into a corner for a cannonball. A package bomb earned the champion a two count and a "This is awesome!" chant. That prompted Owens to tell the crowd to shut up, a nice character moment in the midst of a great match.

Bálor pulled himself back to his feet and dropped KO with a slingblade. The challenger immediately dashed to the top rope but Owens recovered and grabbed his feet. Owens forced Bálor down onto the ring apron but got staggered with a Pele kick. Bálor went for the double stomp again. This time he hit it. But Owens kicked out.

The pair made their way to the top turnbuckle again, Bálor attempting a superplex on the champ. Owens fought him off and tried for his fisherman buster but Bálor escaped. When he returned to the corner he was scooped up for a more devastating move: an AA from the top rope. That was followed with an Owens Swanton bomb. Bálor got his knees up and gave Owens Bloody Sunday. Owens kicked out. Bálor rushed him. Owens dropped him with a super kick.

The two again their way back to their feet. Owens screamed at Bálor that he couldn't win. Bálor fired up, blasting the champion with a lariat before shotgun drop kicking him into a corner. That left Owens prone, finally, for the Coup de Grace, which Bálor hit to finally win himself the NXT championship. They easily took match of the night honours with a spirited, even performance that started strong and built to a great crescendo.

After the match Hidoe Itami was shown looking a bit moody at ringside. It's not impossible this was foreshadowing for a heel turn spurred by Bálor "stealing" his moment. Tatsumi Fujinami came out to raise the new champions hand, something which really highlighted that this was a glorified house show. Owens then refused a handshake from the man the beat him. Which is exactly what you'd expect from Owens' character.

The main event couldn't match the heady heights of the NXT championship match, not least because it featured Kane and John Cena. Bad News King Wade Barrett I and Dolph Ziggler, their respective partners, are good but they weren't enough to help outshine Bálor and Owens. They worked a basic tag main event, the sort you'll be familiar with if you've ever been to a WWE house show or watched an episode of SmackDown. It was awkward in places and had a painfully obvious outcome: Ziggler, having been isolated for around ten minutes, made a tag to Cena, who wandered in, AAed Barrett, and pinned him. As climaxes go it was poor and summed up the match as a whole.

Beast in the East was an oddity of a show. It was clearly not intended to be as big a deal as Elimination Chamber, the last Network exclusive offering, had been. While it was nice to see Lesnar squash someone it wasn't exactly a must-see match. The only thing of substance on the show was Bálor versus Owens, and that wasn't enough to make the show as a whole worthwhile. If WWE wants to use these specials as a way to attract and keep subscribers they'll need to do better than this.

***

Results summary:

Chris Jericho defeated Adrian Neville
Nikki Bella defeated Paige and Tamina to retain the Divas championship
Brock Lesnar defeated Kofi Kingston
Finn Bálor defeated Kevin Owens to win the NXT championship
John Cena and Dolph Ziggler defeated Kane and Bad News Barrett

WWE SummerSlam 2004 review

A few weeks ago I watched SummerSlam 2004 and tweeted about it. The only thing I initally remembered about the show was the main event in which Randy Orton won his first World Heavyweight championship. The rest of the card turned out to be a mostly pleasant experience. Booker T v John Cena, Triple H v Eugene and JBL v The Undertaker were all a bit of fun if you could look past their shortcomings (Cena's ropey wrestling, the offensiveness of the Eugene character, and JBL being in a WWE title match respectively) and the Intercontinental title three-way was good fun. Plus there was fun nonsense on offer from the Diva Dodgeball showdown (featuring a bunch of women you almost certainly don't remember or have never even heard of) and Matt Hardy v Kane for the right to marry Lita. Here's what I thought in tweet form...

Intro

Tweet 1: Watching SummerSlam 2004. I remember very little about this show other than the main event of young boy Randy Orton versus -REDACTED-.

Tweet 2: Opening package is highlighting how strange this is. Heavy on Teddy Long. Mid-card Cena. Kane v Matt Hardy for the right to marry Lita.
Tweet 3: Wall-to-wall nonsense by the looks of it. Excited for this show. No idea if this is good or a train wreck.
Tweet 4:

The Dudley Boys v Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman and Paul London

Tweet 5: Dudleys in a six man opener. This is during that weird phase where Spike was heel and bossing Bubba and D-Von. Forgot all about this.

Tweet 6: "This is going to be a rough and rumble match-up" - Michael Cole on the Dudleys v Rey Mysterio, Billy Kidman and Paul London
Tweet 7: I like that quote. It's basically Cole saying the Dudleys are going to stiff some cruiserweights for lols.
Tweet 8: Spike Dudley there, spitting on Mexico's greatest legend Rey Mysterio.
Tweet 9: "I'll beat your face in!" - Bubba Dudley with the loudest spot call I've ever heard
Tweet 10: "Vintage Dudley Boys" - Michael Cole
Tweet 11: Mysterio v Spike in a cruiserweight exchange for the ages now. Still-good-Rey's fluidity against Spike's stomps. Gold.
Tweet 12: Just been reminded Kidman did a move called the BK bomb. Christ...
Tweet 13: Spike's better than I remember as a straight up wrestler. He doesn't really work as a heel though.

Till Death Do Us Part: Matt Hardy v Kane

Tweet 14: Till Death Do Us Part match. Ambrose and Rollins will get to this as their never-ending feud gets into more obscure stips.

Tweet 15: Recap of the Matt Hardy v Kane feud that would go on to secretly involve Edge in 2005. Loved this nonsense at the time.
Tweet 16: I'm not comfortable with Lita being so blatantly presented as a prop in this match. Or with the rape connotations, obviously.
Tweet 17: Typical that heel Lawler is bigging up Kane for impregnating Lita. I'm waiting for the unsavoury comments to start.
Tweet 18: Corporate Kane is way better than mid-00s baldy Kane. Not least because he acts like David Puddy.
Tweet 19: "I think Kane might make an alright husband" - Jerry Lawler on storyline rapist Kane
Tweet 20: They just did a nice choke slam off the ropes for the finish so at least the match ended well.
Tweet 21: Poor old Lita though. She's been married to Kane for ten and a half years now.
Tweet 22:

Todd Grisham interviews Randy Orton

Tweet 23: Randy Orton is telling Todd Grisham he's going to beat the man. I dunno, mate...

Tweet 24:

Tweet 25: Orton and Cena bickering backstage. Is the origin of their aeons-long feud?

John Cena v Booker T

Tweet 26: I'd forgotten all about Booker T and Cena having a best of five series too. I hadn't forgotten Cena's #BasicThuganomics intro theme though.

Tweet 27: I'm interested in this match. I want to see early Cena work and Booker's great. Good combo.
Tweet 28: Also it seems to be heel Booker. Second only to King Booker in the League of Bookers pantheon.
Tweet 29: "Shades of the great Iron Sheikh" - Michael Cole on a Booker T camel clutch
Tweet 30: Yeah. Cena's early work is, unsurprisingly, rough around the edges. He just did one of the worst small packages I've ever seen.
Tweet 31: Just remembered that there's a triple threat match on this show where Toronto turns heel and boos their hometown boy Edge.
Tweet 32: Cena wins lol.

Teddy Long and Eric Bischoff chat about being general managers backstage

Tweet 33: Pointless backstage natter with Long and Big Boy Bisch here. Teddy wants to sign Eugene and make him a big star.

Tweet 34: Eugene. Oh lord.
Tweet 35: Diva Dodgeball now. What even is this show?

Intercontinental championship: Edge (c) v Batista v Chris Jericho

Tweet 36: That was just a plug. We're getting Big Wave Batista v Edge v Jericho first. I bet this'll be a classic with Wave involved.

Tweet 37: This is back when Jericho was reasonably enjoyable. Never been a massive fan though tbh.
Tweet 38: "He's never met his father!" Steady on, JR.
Tweet 39: I like JR choosing to get Batista over by saying he could play in the NFL. Good one, Jim.
Tweet 40: The flaps of Edge's left boot have come loose. Technical wizard Wave Batista will target the boot and get a win via tapout.
Tweet 41: Speaking of Edge's boots, it looks like he has Shane Douglas's Franchise symbol on them. Probably some sort or rib masterminded by The Kliq.
Tweet 42: I'm a fan of Shane Douglas's career of poorly chosen shoot comments.
Tweet 43: That match was better than I half-remembered it. Amazed at how good Batista looked.

Eddie Guerrero v Kurt Angle

Tweet 44: Eddie Guerrero v Kurt Angle? Saywhaaaaaat?!

Tweet 45: This recap of Eddie winning the title has made me realise I'm going to see a JBL WWE title match.
Tweet 46: Remember that time Kurt Angle died?

Tweet 47: Roman's long lost brother LUTHER REIGNS!
Tweet 48: Eddie's gimmick was basically that he was a great wrestler who loved stealing cars.
Tweet 49: Toronto, Canada getting behind wrestling's Captain America, Kurt Angle. Eddie's thievery has made him a pariah north of the border.
Tweet 50: Just noticed Baby Brian Hebner refereeing this match wearing his stupid blue trainers. Never been a fan of his work. He draws the eye.
Tweet 51: WWE missed a trick not releasing Pirates of the Caribbean-esque Luther Reigns earrings. #merch
Tweet 52: This is an odd match. Slow paced, based on the mat, and they're both using Angle's moves. It's not bad but it's not what I expected.
Tweet 53: I always find it weird when wrestlers take off their boot and use it to knock someone out.
Tweet 54: Because, y'know, when they kick it does minimal damage.
Tweet 55: Fun match. Probably match of the night considering there are Eugene and Johnny Layfield matches to come.

Triple H v Eugene

Tweet 56: Let's not forgot that Eugene was in Evolution with Playboy editor-era Triple H.

Tweet 57: "Eugene, I was NEVER your friend!" - Triple H, with the greatest heel promo of all time
Tweet 58: He followed up by near murdering his former Blue Bloods pal William Regal. This was powerful stuff.
Tweet 59: JR making the strong accusation that Triple H is guilty of conduct unbecoming of a RAW superstar. Serious business.
Tweet 60: Trips using Lilian Garcia, every man's weakness, as a foreign object there.
Tweet 61: Trips doing the Flair Flop better than Flair. Didn't even see the hands come up. Because he's a pro, dammit.
Tweet 62: Hilarious "Eugene sucks!" chant going on right now.
Tweet 63: I'm enjoying Triple H's general lack of selling here. It's refreshing. Don't get enough no-sells in 2015.
Tweet 64: Did Eugene ever give a reason for Tripper being his fave number one wrestler of all time? I'd be interested in his reasoning.
Tweet 65: Now's as good a time as any to mention that I never liked the Eugene character. It was poor taste. Not that WWE cares about taste.
Tweet 66: Eugene using all these moves he's "seen on television." What about those Don't Try This At Home ads, mate?
Tweet 67: Triple H kicking out of the leg drop as a big middle finger to Hogan there.
Tweet 68: Flair's been at ringside less than two minutes. He's already taken his jacket off and started throwing a fit.
Tweet 69: Triple H wins with the Pedigree. He probably got flack for that at the time. Makes sense though...
Tweet 70: He's a former world champion. Eugene should have lost. Plots he cheated to win. Eugene was protected and it was a memorable first defeat.

Diva Dodgeball

Tweet 71: Meanwhile, over in a high school gym, Jonathan 'Coach' Coachman is adjudicating Diva Dodgeball.

Tweet 72: No idea who most of the Diva Search lasses are. I recognise Mrs Michael Bennett, TNA announcer, and 'Taker wife but that's about it.
Tweet 73: This is a Divas division for workrate though. Trish, Jazz, Molly Holly, Victoria and Gail Kim are there. Plus Stacey Keibler.
Tweet 74: Amused by Coach's commentary.
Tweet 75: Also: NIDIA.
Tweet 76: I'd like Nidia to reappear on RAW in a backstage segment with Jamie Noble. Lols to he had there.
Tweet 77: Jerry Lawler offering to help restrain Trish Stratus. #stillgotit

WWE championship: The Undertaker v John Bradshaw Layfield (c)

Tweet 78: Oh no...

Tweet 79: I don't mind Undertaker or JBL but they did not work well together. Part of the problem was that nothing was made of their Ministry history.
Tweet 80: John Ladshaw Layfield.
Tweet 81: The mystique of that Undertaker entrance was slightly ruined by a guy in the front row give him double middle fingers.
Tweet 82: Only just now remembering Orlando Jordan's transformation from innocent young boy into sinister Chief of Staff, overseeing the Bashams.
Tweet 83: JBL running is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
Tweet 84: Worth nothing that in August 2004 Mark Calaway looked more like Fake Undertaker than real Undertaker.
Tweet 85: It's like he's done himself up as an Undertaker parody.
Tweet 86: The crowd are doing a Mexican wave. 'Taker should use the dark arts to make them pay attention.
Tweet 87: This match isn't doing much for me but I can recognise they're doing good stuff. JBL taking a superplex, for example.
Tweet 88: Did this feud progress to JBL stealing Undertaker's urn? If not, why not?
Tweet 89: Great potential in a segment with JBL melting the urn down and turning it into a magical gold cowboy hat.
Tweet 90: Tazz is hyping boots. Might be at the bottom of the barrel here, folks.
Tweet 91: When selling, Nick Patrick looks like Johnny Vegas.
Tweet 92: Loads of interference and assorted shenanigans in that match. Makes the DQ ending a disappointment.
Tweet 93: Undertaker will get revenge by Tombstoning JBL's limo.
Tweet 94: Lol at 'Taker choke slamming JBL through the roof of the limo. Textbook mid-00s overkill.
Tweet 95: Even funnier is Jordan dragging JBL, who could have spinal injuries after being THROWN THROUGH A ROOF, out onto the concrete.
Tweet 96: EMTs coming out to help JBL. Remember when WWE introduced BB as an EMT?
Tweet 97: She lasted about three months, married 'Hard to the Core' Robert Holly, then was never heard from again.
Tweet 98: Maybe she'll turn up with Kayfabe Commentaries one day.

World Heavyweight championship: Randy Orton v -REDACTED-

Tweet 99: Can Randall Keith Orton do it? Can he become the youngest ever world champion? Can he beat -REDACTED-?

Tweet 100: Love WWE trolling the Canadian fans by having Earl Hebner ref this.
Tweet 101: Lawler pushing Orton as "a Greek god." It's possible he's being fed material by Vince.
Tweet 102: The crowd don't seem as into this as I'd thought they'd be. Silence for this -REDACTED- wrist lock, for example.
Tweet 103: Orton gets a shoulder block. Crowd explodes.
Tweet 104: More trolling with Orton slapping on a Sharpshooter. *slow clap*
Tweet 105: -REDACTED- with a sloppy reversal there. I don't think he's even Canadian. Real Canadians have perfected the Sharpshooter by age five.
Tweet 106: This isn't about -REDACTED-, Orton, or Orton's first world title. It's about Hebner earning forgiveness from Canada by officiating fairly.
Tweet 107: What was WWE's thinking for pulling the trigger on this Orton main event push? Was it just a case of "Welp, we need new guys"?
Tweet 108: It's taken a while but this match is hotting up. That's been a theme across this show tbh.
Tweet 109: Orton with a cross body, a move he once used as a finisher. Like a 1970s babyface.
Tweet 110: Love -REDACTED- foregoing the -REDACTED- Crossface and using the Sharpshooter because he's in Canada.
Tweet 111: Part of the reason this crowd's getting behind Orton is because he's being presented as a fiery babyface who won't give up.
Tweet 112: Knees up on that top rope headbutt. That may explain some things...
Tweet 113: "RKO outta nowhere! RKO outta nowhere!" - Jim Ross
Tweet 114: Orton should cry more often.
Tweet 115: The handshake that turned Randy Orton from a crying young boy into a #manly world champion.

Tweet 116: That was a laugh, weren't it?