Showing posts with label Hulk Hogan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Hulk Hogan. Show all posts

Sunday, 13 December 2015

The Women's Division's Hulk Hogan

Since the last Takeover show a pattern has emerged with the booking of NXT women's champion Bayley. She's presented in a way not dissimilar to Hulk Hogan. No, she doesn't scream and shout her way through manic promos or mention prayers, vitamins and milk but she does get confronted a fair bit. That's very much in the 80's Hogan mould.

A woman under constant threat... from other women.
The episode following Takeover: Respect, a show Bayley headlined with Sasha Banks in an iron woman match, successfully defeating the former champ three falls to two, Bayley was confronted by Alexa Bliss. The BAMF leader put over Bayley as the rightful centrepiece of the women's division before cruelly snatching her championship belt away and switching tones, saying that she, not Bayley, would lead the division into the future. It was a clear setup for a match, just not one that was held off for two months for the next Takeover event.

Bliss was a natural adversary for 'The Hugster'. Her mean girl act is a perfect foil for the socially awkward underdog Bayley portrays. Their feud could easily have been stretched out to Takeover: London in December but instead it was resolved with a singles match on the November 18 episode. Bayley won clean.

She was then confronted by Eva Marie. 'The Red Queen', to astonishingly loud heat (seriously, what has the woman done to offend the Full Sail regulars this much?), informed Bayley they'd wrestle the following week. Eva was presented by the commentary team as a tougher foe than Bliss had been. Which was fair. Eva Marie has wrestled more matches than Bliss recently and has won them all. If you want to go on wins and losses Marie is a more credible challenger.

Nia Jax and the new Bobby Heenan.
Bayley again won, this time overcoming the odds in a match that had a distinctly Vince Russo vibe to it thanks to a crooked official, ref bumps, and outside interference from Nia Jax. Following the match Jax attacked Bayley, making her intention to be the next big challenger clear. There was a repeat performance in a backstage segment, in which the champ was thrown through a prop door, just to emphasise that Jax really does mean business.

That match hasn't been rushed into. Instead Jax will be Bayley's challenger at Takeover: London. In a nice touch her partnership with Eva Marie seems to have been retained. I we want to stick with the Hogan analogy I started that possibly makes Eva the NXT women's division's answer to Bobby Heenan.

I like this approach. It worked for Hogan because he needed a constant stream of dudes to beat to show that he was the best. It's just as good for Bayley, although the reason why is different Instead of needing challengers to crush every other week Bayley needs to be shown to be a target, helping to maintain her underdog act. This approach is another example of what makes NXT work: things are kept simple there.

Saturday, 11 April 2015

NXTweet 08.04.15

Wish you'd seen some of the NXT matches held over WrestleMania weekend? WWE's got you covered with the semi-finals and finals of the tournament held for a spot in the 'Mania battle royal.

Intro

Tweet 1: NXT! NXT! NXT!
Tweet 2: I am watching NXT. I am informed it's not a filler episode.

Shots of WrestleMania Weekend festivities

Tweet 3: Crowd chanting. Graphic for the eight man tournament. Then into some tasty filler.
Tweet 4: Randy Orton telling us WWE takes over towns. Bad. Tyler Breeze playing golf. Good.
Tweet 5: Owens, Enzo and Cass saved that. Those lads can talk.
Tweet 6: Round one "highlights". Can anything involving Barry Corbin be considered a highlight?
Tweet 7: Wouldn't have minded seeing Kalisto versus Neville.
Tweet 8: Corey Graves' use of the name Adrian was dubbed out just then. Vince, you're a rascal.

Andre Battle Royal qualifying tournament semi-final: Adrian Neville v Hideo Itami

Tweet 9: This crowd needs to shut up with its "This is awesome!" chant before anything's happened.

Genuinely been haunted by this Sheamus poster for years. I can't forget it exists.

Tweet 10: Rich Brennan referring to being the GHC champ as a measure of success in a belittling manner there.
Tweet 11: This crowd is getting on Neville. It's like when ECW guys were leaving for the WWF or WCW and the fans turned on them.
Tweet 12: Because how dare guys want better pay and bigger crowds, am I right?
Tweet 13: Sexy knee to Neville's face from Itami. It's stuff like that that got him signed.
Tweet 14: Bring back Punk's "Knees 2 Faces" shirt as Hideo merch, innit.
Tweet 15: Lots of strikes going on here. Started a sequence of thoughts that reminded me that Da Undertaker is WWE's Best Striker Ever™.
Tweet 16: "Hideo is the embodiment of the Japanese fighting spirit" - Corey Graves on the Japanese fighting spirit
Tweet 17: Sleeper! Sleeper! Bah Gawd, the sleeper!!
Tweet 18: Itami ran in for a corner drop kick. Nev kipped up into a super kick. Perfick.

Well done, Adrian. That was textbook.

Tweet 19: Great finish to that. When Itami finally gets the G2S on someone the building's going to explode.
Tweet 20: Maybe the world will even end. Who knows?

Andre Battle Royal qualifying tournament semi-final: Finn Bálor v Tyler Breeze

Tweet 21: Just noticed this is a bit like a TNA taping where there's one side of the ring completely empty of fans.
Tweet 22: Unlike TNA this will be to do with some sort of tech issue as opposed to lack of interest.
Tweet 23: Mate, Breeze is bringing his A game in this match.

Nippiness.

Tweet 24: Breeze's boots always remind me of CJ Parker's hair.
Tweet 25: Why is there never a Zoolander chant during Breeze matches?
Tweet 26: Liking Graves and Brennan as a two man announce team, for the record.
Tweet 27: "Bálor looked like he was going for that reverse lifting DDT!" - Corey Graves, demonstrating that Bloody Sunday was a far catchier name

Consider the similarities to Okada's Rainmaker pose noted.

Tweet 28: I liked that match. Why can't RAW be like this? Said everyone.
Tweet 29: Up next: more filler.

More WrestleMania Weekend festivities

Tweet 30: Good work on these Dana Brooke vignettes, guys.
Tweet 31: Triple H playing hype man. Probably his second greatest skill behind booking NXT, tbh.
Tweet 32: "It's the hottest wrestling show on TV" - Scott Hall on a show that isn't on TV... mang
Tweet 33: Corey Graves rocking an Indiana Jones look there.
Tweet 34: Next week: Sami Zayn versus Rhyno, ROH versus SCUM.

Andre Battle Royal qualifying tournament semi-final: Finn Bálor v Hideo Itami

Tweet 35: How long until Bálor stops getting announced from Bray, County Wicklow on the grounds that it features another rassler's name?
Tweet 36: Commentary team being instructed to talk up Erick Rowan, Jack Swagger, Kane and Big Show, my word.
Tweet 37: Hideo Itami chinlocks > Randy Orton chinlocks
Tweet 38: "C'mon, Finn! Get up!" - Some kid
Tweet 39: Big fan of Itami Hulking up.

Hideo Hogan.

Tweet 40: He should reverse the trend and nick someone else's move for once. Hogan's leg drop is wide open, brother.
Tweet 41: This match though. It's excellent.
Tweet 42: Hideo's such a tease. #G2S
Tweet 43: Itami is celebrating his win by pointing at the WrestleMania sign. He gets it. He'll go far.

Hideo Itami's journey to WrestleMania 31

Tweet 44: WrestleMania 31 weekend was the most important weekend in Itami's career, apparently.
Tweet 45: Not sure he realises that by saying the crowd got louder when KENTA entered Hogan's admitting KENTA got a bigger pop than him.
Tweet 46: Hillbilly Jim sighting.
Tweet 47: Reigns was good with Itami's kids but, if it came to it, he'd beat them to stay looking strong.
Tweet 48: OMG KENTA HIT A G2S!!
Tweet 49: Even Big E was impressed. And Big E is not a man easily impressed.
Tweet 50: Dean Ambrose outrageously flouting the company's dress code with a leather jacket and T-shirt combo. Who does he think he is? Orton?!
Tweet 51: *Compulsory shot of documentary subject sitting in the stands looking thoughtful*

Let's not overlook the fact that that's a former NXT champion Itami's eliminating.

Tweet 52: Still depressed by the bloody Big Show win. At least Itami went out to the winner though.
Tweet 53: Really good documentary that. NXT just found yet another way to upstage main roster WWE.

Friday, 20 March 2015

NXTweet 18.03.15

This is the first NXT episode ever recorded outside of Florida. Discounting the original-concept NXT, obvs. Bliss v Banks is the highlight.

Intro

Tweet 1: I've got my coffee. I am now watching NXT.
Tweet 2: "The road called. NXT answered!" - NXT's gritty voiceover lad
Tweet 3: I am hyped for some fat guys trying out for NXT and being mercilessly mocked by the non-televised meatheads.

Tyler Breeze v Kalisto

Tweet 4: Kalisto seamlessly slipping into the irritating Latin stereotype role previously held by Rey Mysterio.
Tweet 5: OMG IT'S TYLER!! #swoon
Tweet 6: Several thousand dollars for the selfie stick. Yep, that's completely believable.
Tweet 7: I'm immediately wondering if ROH could run this building.
Tweet 8: The referee keeps touching Breeze. There's totes something going on there.
Tweet 9: Yeah Kalisto's good and all but he's still massively annoying.
Tweet 10: The supermodel kick as Kalisto was handspringing though...

Gorgeous move.

Tweet 11: "Tyler Breeze is stomping a hole through Kalisto right here!" - Corey Graves, getting one of the most basic homage calls in wrestling wrong
Tweet 12: Breeze is stomping a mud hole in Kalisto and by God he's walking it dry!
Tweet 13: Breeze had to go over there tbh. They did a good job keeping us guessing though.

Video looking at Kevin Owens v Finn Bálor, featuring Alex Riley

Tweet 14: Video hyping Bálor v Owens here. Has Bálor been on since he beat Kendrick?
Tweet 15: When even was that?
Tweet 16: Another airing of Alex Riley's "I'm a man" line. Doesn't get any better than that.
Tweet 17: They swerved us, bro! This video's about Alex Riley's comeback from the announce desk that nobody except him cares about!
Tweet 18: Genuinely thinking this will be the best match Riley's ever had.

Alexa Bliss backstage

Tweet 19: Alexa Bliss talking about excitement there.
Tweet 20: #feelings for Alexa Bliss, mate.

Arnold Classic video package

Tweet 21: Straight into the coverage of the Arnold Classic with this...


Tweet 22: Blake and Murphy posing with sick kids. I bet the kids LOVED that.
Tweet 23: Schwarzenegger shaking hands. Some bloke talking about people contributing to the world. This is all hilariously pointless...
Tweet 24: Maybe pointless is harsh. Self-congratulatory though.
Tweet 25: That Arnie promo made it worth it.
Tweet 26: Oh Lord...


Tweet 27: "That gold would look really good around Hulk Hogan's waist" - Hulk Hogan on the NXT championship
Tweet 28: From anyone else I'd think that's a harmless comment made in passing. From Hogan...

Finn Bálor and Alex Riley backstage

Tweet 29: Backstage Bálor tells Riley he's going to watch him tonight. Riley says he wants him to watch. Powerful, erotic stuff.

Wesley Blake v Big Cass

Tweet 30: Blake and Murphy's 90s kids' TV entrance music gets me every time. These too are so unbelievably generic and I love them for it.
Tweet 31: Enzo Amore. Bringing the mullet back.
Tweet 32: People boo Carmella because they see through the "hot as Hell" line.
Tweet 33: #sweetboy
Tweet 34: Calling it now: Carmella's heel turn will come in the form of costing Enzo and Cass the tag straps.
Tweet 35: "This guy's sawft!" - The audience on Wesley Blake
Tweet 36: I'm still relying on the names written on their trunks to tell Blake and Murphy apart. Not a good sign, champs.
Tweet 37: Blake should gone full D'Lo Brown and ask the crowd "Who's sawft now?" when he's controlling Cass.
Tweet 38: I'd mark if the Carmella turn came here in a completely random, pointless match.

In a month or two this will be revealed as having been a cunning plan.

Tweet 39: I say that and then she did actually cost Cass the match.

Title card for Banks v Bliss and a Dana Brooke vignette

Tweet 40: "Columbus-bred" - Rich Brennan on Alexa Bliss
Tweet 41: Now hoping for a "Columbus life-born, Columbus life-bred, when the time is right I'll be Columbus life-dead" Bliss promo.
Tweet 42: Little vignette for Dana Brooke there. She does not look dissimilar to Natalya.

Sasha Banks v Alexa Bliss

Tweet 43: Big fan of every aspect of both of these women. Looking forward to this match.
Tweet 44: Sasha ain't ratchet.
Tweet 45: "I can say for a fact she is not!" - Rich Brennan on whether or not Sasha's ratchet

A WWE wrestler getting booked well in their hometown? A rarity.

Tweet 46: Bliss goes over via count out. This is a strong argument in favour of extending the count to twenty...
Tweet 47: Not the best match ever but still superior to the bulk of Divas matches.

Kevin Owens backstage

Tweet 48: Kevin Owens with an effortlessly great promo there.

Alex Riley v Kevin Owens

Tweet 49: Alex bloody Riley.
Tweet 50: Riley is the Ray Purchase of NXT.
Tweet 51: How does Riley have the face of a haggard forty-something?
Tweet 52: Loving how over Owens is. Enjoying that "Mr Wrestling" chant too.

Alex 'Hateable' Riley.

Tweet 53: Riley is wearing wristbands with "Say it to my face" written on them. Mate... no.
Tweet 54: Bullet Club T-shirt sighting.
Tweet 55: Pleased Riley got jobbed out without ceremony. He didn't deserve a competitive showing with a guy like Owens.
Tweet 56: Plus it makes Owens look bigger. He said Riley couldn't compete on his level and he proved himself right.

DX green on the logo there.

Tweet 57: Bálor saving Riley makes him a heel in my book.

Tuesday, 6 January 2015

On Confidence and The Streak

As you’ll probably know, Vince McMahon appeared on a special edition of The Steve Austin Show last month. Besides a comment about the locker room being unmotivated, which seemed intended to bait the locker room into “proving him wrong”, a particularly backward way of thinking in 2014, one of the most interesting comments Vince made pertained to his decision to end The Undertaker’s Streak. He defended the decision by saying that he looked at the roster and didn’t feel there would be anybody ready to convincingly end The Streak within a two year timeframe. He went with Lesnar, at least in part, because he felt he was the only choice available.

Poor old Undi'.
It’s an odd sentiment for Vince to express. Two years is a long time in professional wrestling, especially when it comes to establishing a top star. There are plenty of examples of guys who went from nothing out of the ordinary to huge stars within that time frame.

Most obviously there’s Hulk Hogan. He returned to the WWF in late 1983 after several years away. Previously he’d been an unspectacular mid-card guy. Less than a month after his return ‘The Hulkster’ won his first WWF championship. By the time the first WrestleMania rolled around in March 1985 he was the man the promotion revolved around.

Then there’s Steve Austin. His famed 3:16 speech at the King of the Ring 1996 captured people’s attention and started a chain of events that would see him become the hottest act in the company by the same time the following year. By late ’97 it was clear he was the main man in the company, his first world title win at WrestleMania XIV was merely his official inauguration.

That’s two of the most important names in the history of the company who went from being just a face in the crowd to the man the company revolved around within two years. The point is that WWE can turn the right guy into a star within that time if they put their minds to it. They have more than enough talented guys to be able to have had someone ready to defeat ‘Taker by WrestleMania 32.

Even if that weren’t the case, they still had John Cena (who, for the record, is another guy who was clearly the hottest act in the company within two years of the decision being made to get behind him). Cena could have convincingly ended The Streak. In fact before ‘Mania XXX I was sure if anyone was going to beat Undertaker at WrestleMania it would be Cena. He’s not only the top act but he’s a guy WWE loves giving accolades to. It just seemed natural, and for Vince to say Lesnar was his only real choice while Cena was still around is flat out incorrect.  

Things could have been different had the chairman had some faith in his roster, and his own ability to elevate people. Had Roman Reigns or Dean Ambrose been given a sustained push and protected from uninspired segments and feuds they could have been ready. The same goes for Bray Wyatt, especially if he’d beaten Cena at ‘Mania XXX instead of losing to him. Daniel would have been accepted as someone significant enough to end The Streak last year. The treatment Seth Rollins has actually had would have been ideal for prepping someone as a Streak-ender. And any of these guys would have benefited more from the accolade than Lesnar. They’d have stuck around longer too.

Monday, 20 October 2014

The Part Time Squad

WWE’s reliance on the stars of the past has been well documented over the last several years. The Rock’s return at WrestleMania XXVII and matches at XXVIII and XXIX drew scorn from some. Triple H and Undertaker taking an annual ‘Mania spot has also failed to go down well with everyone. And guys like Chris Jericho, Batista and Hulk Hogan have also returned in one form or another, to a variety of reactions.

There could be said to be broadly two views on this. The first would be that the returning stars help to attract viewers who wouldn’t otherwise be interested and that their participation helps give the events that extra special feeling they’re meant to have. The second would be that the returnees take away spots from the roster members who work a full schedule and deserve to participate at a show of WrestleMania’s significance.

My view lies somewhere in the middle of the two. The returning stars are necessary for shows like WrestleMania to be distinguishable from the rest of the PPV pack. I don’t think WWE could expect to fill more than one stadium for a ‘Mania using only their current roster, and they’d only manage one because tickets are sold so far in advance. But at the same time I don’t think the list of returning names would need to be as long as it generally gets if WWE did a better job of making guys like Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler seem like they’re genuinely big stars. Part of WrestleMania absolutely should be about celebrating the past and integrating older stars, but it should also be about building for the future.

Something that could be done differently is how the returning names are used. Right now they tend to interact exclusively with one another. Jericho v Fandango and Triple H v Daniel Bryan aside all the names listed above have been involved with other stars from past eras at the last few WrestleManias. An argument could be made for CM Punk being raised up with his matches against The Undertaker and The Rock, but Punk was already pretty close to that level anyway. And, y’know, he lost both matches. By the time he left he was definitely on that level.

I’d be far more interested in a Triple H versus Dean Ambrose match than I would in a Triple H versus The Rock match. The former is a match that could easily take place at WM31, WWE having ample time to prepare it. The latter is a match the men themselves talked about on the SmackDown fifteenth anniversary show and while I don’t think it’s especially likely to happen it’s not an impossibility. That it was brought up on company programming indicates that WWE were interested in seeing how people reacted to talk of the bout.

For whatever reason WWE doesn’t seem interested in pitting the veteran performers against the younger batch of stars. Perhaps they feel the youngsters are beneath the vets. That will cause a problem in years to come if true because sooner or later it will bleed through into the televised product and the current roster could be viewed as second rate in terms of star power.

More likely, given the matchups we’ve had over the last few years, they feel the Dream Match™ route is the best one to take. Their idea of what constitutes such a match can at some times be questionable (Cena versus Rock headlining two ‘Manias in a row f’r’instance) but it’s a solid enough approach. With all of this in mind I thought I’d run through the various part-timers WWE does and could make use of and look at the possible opponents, both part- and full-time, they could be pitted against at the next few ‘Manias.

We’ll start with Mr Hulk Hogan. He’s a pretty big star, right? Well, yes and no. He was undoubtedly wrestling’s biggest star in the 1980s and for much of the 90s, but his status has been somewhat diminished by the likes of Rock, Austin and Cena. His stint in TNA didn’t help him either. That gave anyone who saw it the impression that he’s washed up. He obviously was washed up but that TNA really emphasised it. It wore off what mystique he was still clinging to and he’s only started getting it back since he started the sporadic appearances for WWE.

He says he's got one more leg drop left in him, brothers!
‘The Hulkster’ has dropped a number of unsubtle hints about wanting to wrestle a retirement match for WWE. I suspect there are a number of motives for this. One would be the hefty payday. Another would be the chance to get himself into the spotlight one more time, something he has adored throughout his career. Third would be the opportunity to go out on top. I mean, Hogan clearly hasn’t been on top of wrestling since 19-take-your-pick, but having a retirement match on the upper half, possibly even in the main event, of a ‘Mania card would do a lot to sate his legendary ego.

There’s only one man I think Hogan could or should come back to face. That’s John Cena. The reason is pretty obvious. It would be the biggest current star against one of the biggest stars of the past. They would not have an especially good match but it would be a spectacle, and there’s always a room for spectacle at WrestleMania. Cena’s capable (though he wouldn’t necessarily be willing) of bouncing around to make Hogan look good. Hogan could probably take an AA. It’s the only feasible match should a Hogan comeback occur.

Next is the man who Hogan made his initial ‘Mania comeback against back at X8, The Rock. I’ve already mentioned the tease WWE made of a Rock versus Triple H ‘Mania outing. It would be interesting from a historical point of view because they never wrestled in a singles match at the event, despite having a feud that lasted years and took them both from the mid-card to the main event. While doing the match now would allow them to tick off an accomplishment it wouldn’t live up to their past standards. Between 1998 and 2000 the pair had a number of memorable matches on TV and pay-per-view. They’re older now, and ‘The Great One’ is extra cautious of doing anything that could inflict an injury for fear of losing work in Hollywood, and they wouldn’t be able to match their previous high standards. It’s a match best left in the past.

Rock versus Brock Lesnar has a certain appeal to it: the Hollywood A-lister facing the former UFC champion. It’s the sort of thing WrestleMania has always been built around: mainstream, outside-wrestling appeal. But it’s unlikely to happen with Lesnar’s status as champ as it would need to be for the title and I don’t think either would be back before SummerSlam. Rock’s health and safety gimmick would probably make this match a no, too.

Rock versus Rusev is a potential match after their surprise interaction on the October 6 RAW. I think it could be a very good match. Rusev’s selling and psychology are good and constantly improving and he’s got a convincing, and over, set of moves. It would make sense to promote this match and there’s a reason for it happening. But I don’t think WWE will do it. The most I think we can expect is a second meeting on TV which ends with Rusev looking strong. That would help him, but not as much as a WrestleMania victory in an official match would.

Other than ‘The Bulgarian Brute’ no characters from the main roster jump out as a particularly good match for Rock. I think Cesaro would be a particularly nice fit match-wise, but not enough time has been invested in his character to make it seem a realistic possibility. Meanwhile I think there’s a natural story to be told between Rock and Roman Reigns, not least because they’re cousins, but the in-ring action would let them down. Reigns is not yet experienced enough as a singles wrestler to make this bout work. But if Rock’s still around for WrestleMania 33 in 2017 it might be a good idea.

Going back to Brock Lesnar there are a surprising number of options. Roman Reigns is top of the list as beating Lesnar for the WWE championship at ‘Mania 31 would be a nice crowning-of-the-heir-apparent moment. But even though it would make sense it’s not been announced as a thing yet. ‘The Beast’ could just as easily find himself working a rematch with The Undertaker or having his first main roster dalliance with Randy Orton. Had a better job been done of splitting Paul Heyman and Cesaro then there’d be a compelling, natural story to be told for Cesaro versus Lesnar. It could still be done, but the time for making it mean as much as it could has slipped through WWE’s fingers.

Since the loss of his Streak I’ve found myself less interested in the concept of further Undertaker appearances. It’s not because the Lesnar bout was bad (although it was), it’s because the main appeal of ‘The Dead Man’ for me had become seeing him increase The Streak’s length. It added an urgency to his bouts that just can’t be there now. I’d convinced myself that he’d go for another year or two, announce his final match before it took place, and have Cena as his opponent. Cena, more than Lesnar, would have been able to convince people before the match that he was going to end The Streak. Because he’s Cena. My logic was that if WWE were going to end The Streak for anyone it would be Cena.

But that all fell apart when Lesnar pinned ‘Big Evil’ at WrestleMania XXX. ‘The Phenom’ will still be able to have good matches (if his body permits it) but they just won’t be as suspenseful. He could have his rematch with Lesnar and win, but ultimately it wouldn’t matter. The blemish on his record would still be there.

A lot of people seem to want Sting v Undertaker. I’ve said before that I would have no interest in seeing that match. Sting as a performer does nothing for me and any analogies between his role in WCW and ‘Taker’s in WWE are lost on me. One went off the rails because he felt betrayed during an invasion of cool heels, the other’s a zombie biker who digs MMA. The most that can be said in favour of them being a particularly good pairing is that they are both synonymous with their respective promotions. But WCW closed down in 2001. At this point Sting v Undertaker would be as much TNA v WWE as WCW v WWE.

But a lot of people want to see it. There’s obviously something I’m missing. That people seem keen on it makes me think that Undertaker versus ‘The Stinger’ is the most sensible match for both men at ‘Mania 31. Personally I’d be more interested in either man in a singles match against Bray Wyatt. He’s a better fit for the characters of both veterans. But I doubt that will come to pass.

I suspect a lot of people would argue that Sting v Triple H would be a good match. It’s true that both are top tier performers, but something about their respective styles makes me think they wouldn’t gel well together. Neither strikes me as a significant enough name to make the match work. There’s no obvious story to tell between the pair either.

‘The Game’ is best off working against guys getting established. He’s a respected (within WWE TV Land at least) performer, a former multi-time world champion, and the on-screen boss. His status is why guys would want a match with him and his job allows him to be easily written into necessary stories. The Daniel Bryan story worked well. More along those lines would be fine. Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt and Cesaro would be my top choices for matches against Trips. In time there’s a very obvious Seth Rollins match waiting to be presented too.

One guy I’m not especially interested in seeing Tripper wrestle is Batista. Since leaving over the summer he’s mentioned in interviews that he’d be interested in returning for a retirement match against ‘The King of Kings’ at a WrestleMania. Which says a fair bit about how ‘The Animal’ sees his status within WWE history. In fairness Triple H v Batista would make sense as a retirement match, given their history as friends and opponents. It would be a neat ending to Big Dave’s career. It just doesn’t feel like a modern day ‘Mania match, partly because they faced off at a ‘Mania before and partly because I don’t think Batista quite deserves that level of send-off. To me it feels more like a SummerSlam idea.

I think Batista would be of more value facing an Ambrose or a Cesaro at future WrestleManias. But such matches are probably beneath his ego, even if he were to win them. A bout with Lesnar would likely satisfy him, with or without the title on the line, but the trouble there is the same as with The Rock: Batsy has to keep himself as healthy as possible for Hollywood duties and Lesnar is not conducive to that. It would be a fresh pairing though of established headliners though, and that counts for a lot with me.

A man it would be easy to overlook here is Goldberg. No, he’s never been on the best of terms with WWE. No, they don’t seem to regard him as any form of exceptional draw (and in fairness there’s little evidence that they should). But if Sting is going to get mentioned Goldberg should too. At his peak Goldberg was just as big a star for WCW as Sting.

Were The Streak still intact a decent story could have been built around ‘Taker pitting it against Goldberg’s mostly perfect win-loss record. WWE could have ignored ‘berg’s handful of jobs or acknowledged them and emphasised the screwiness of most of them, either approach would have done the job. A year and a half ago Goldberg would have been a good choice of opponent for Ryback. ‘The Big Guy’ was getting compared to Goldberg every week and it would have given him a boost to face and beat the former WCW champ. It may seem a peculiar thing to say now, given Ryback’s lower-card status, but had WWE handled him better during his rushed rivalry with CM Punk and into WrestleMania XXIX they could have made a headliner out of him.

Those are wasted opportunities. There’s no obvious scenario for Goldberg at a WrestleMania now. But he’s a big enough name to attract a few eyes, especially if he was given the Hall of Fame and retirement match package (not that WWE would deem him worthy of that). The Ryback match could still just about work, just not as well as it could have previously. Beyond that matches with Brock Lesnar, Cesaro or a more embedded Roman Reigns could work nicely.

One more year for Angle. But it probably won't be in WWE.
Goldberg is also one of the many names that could work as an opponent for Kurt Angle. WWE’s fledging roster split stopped it happening during Goldberg’s previous run, which was a pity as the pair seem like a natural fit: the powerhouse and the technician. The trouble is that Angle would likely be taken as the face and Goldberg the heel, and both do their best work in the opposite roles. The more significant trouble with doing this match nowadays is that Angle is falling to pieces and Goldberg isn’t exactly known for his safety.

The really obvious Angle match would be opposite Rusev. He’s a foreign heel who talks about his superiority to America whilst wearing a gold medal. It seems tailor made for Angle. The current leading hypothesis is that Rusev is destined for a ‘Mania showdown with Cena. That would work and work well, but the ultra-patriotic Angle would be just as good a fit, if not a better one.

At this point I should probably pause and acknowledge the fact that it doesn’t look like Angle will ever return to WWE for a match. He’s said he’ll wrestle one more year part-time and then retire. WWE are said to be sceptical about Angle’s ability to pass their health and endurance tests, and they’re almost certainly right to be. Angle was originally let go by WWE in 2006 because of health concerns and he’s visibly smaller now than he was then. As much as it would be great to see him return for one final run and matches against Rollins, Ambrose, Cesaro, Ziggler and Rusev (and basically everyone else on the roster) it doesn’t look as though it will happen. I suspect we won’t be seeing Angle back in WWE until he’s called it quits on his in-ring offerings and is ready to accept a (much deserved) spot in the company’s Hall of Fame.

The same isn’t necessarily true for Angle’s fellow TNA alums Bully Ray and Devon. The former Dudley Boyz have apparently cut ties with TNA and agreed to some sort of deal which will see them wrestle at New Japan’s Wrestle Kingdom 9. It seems safe to assume Team 3D were added because the pay-per-view will be broadcast on PPV in the US (via Jeff Jarrett’s increasingly shady Global Force Wrestling “promotion”) and Bully and Devon are considered big enough names to help attract an audience.

While they’re far from being the biggest names in wrestling ever they are a known quantity. They have the Attitude Era rub that could attract lapsed fans and a very long list of accomplishments for longer term fans. I don’t personally feel that they are but I could understand an argument being made for them being the best tag team ever.

All of which could be used to argue in favour of bringing them into WWE on a part-time basis. Or it could if WWE had a healthier doubles division. I’m sure that the Dudleys versus Goldust and Stardust or the Usos would be good, but neither of the current WWE teams has the status of the Dudleys. To make the most of rehiring the Dudleys WWE would need a team (preferably several) with some history and status to pit them against. They’d need that Dream Match™ scenario, allowing the Dudleys to give the rub to a younger team. The only duo WWE has right now that look like they have the potential to become a significant team is The Ascension, and they’re still in developmental.

If WWE wanted to they could hire Bully and Devon as agents and use them as an occasional treat for house shows crowds. If they spent the time between WrestleManias 31 and 32 creating an interesting and worthwhile doubles division with The Ascension as the undisputed stars then a Dudleys match in 2016 could mean something. But we all know this isn’t something WWE will bother with.

Finally we come to the man whom I think would prove the most lucrative name on this list were he to return to the ring: ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. He seems fine with his retirement, having publically exhibited no burning desire to have one final match. It’s completely understandable. He went out in an extremely satisfying match in the semi-main event spot of a WrestleMania, losing to one of his greatest rivals, and friends, at a WrestleMania. He faced everyone there was to face during his time and became a massive star doing so. It’s hard to imagine him having any regrets about his career accomplishments or his last match in particular. While he’s always been careful to avoid committing to anything he has said that he’d come back for the right opponent and the right scenario. But I think another match with Austin is unlikely.

But that’s not to say there aren’t options for him. Because there are. There are tonnes. Austin against Ambrose, Rollins, Ziggler, or Cesaro. He has spoken highly of all of them in interviews and on his podcast, which indicates that he’d work a competitive match with them. Austin v Bryan could be a very good match too, although there you’d have the thorny issue of Bryan having to play the heel. Any of the four guys above could be switched to the antagonist role for an outing against Austin, but for several years now a defining attribute of Bryan’s character has been that he’s the chosen one of fans. He’s the man we want to see on top and the man we want to cheer for.

Even less likely than any of those matches is Austin versus CM Punk. It’s a match that WWE teased in a backstage segment on the 27 June 2011 on the episode of RAW that ended with Punk’s celebrated “pipe bomb”. The appeal of the match is obvious: they’re characters that have both a lot in common and some very clear differences. Each elevated their status within the company as outspoken anti-heroes railing against the management system. Each won several WWE championships and became credible headline talents. It’s the specifics where they differ. Austin was the beer-guzzling redneck who would attack anyone over anything. Punk doesn’t touch alcohol and was never booked to be as aggressive a presence as ‘The Rattlesnake’. The promos and interactions the pair could have in the build-up to a WrestleMania match would be sensational. With both men healthy and capable of hitting their signature spots a match would almost certainly be well-received. 

The match that never was.
Then there’s Austin versus Brock Lesnar. The promos there would have a different feel to them because it would be Austin dealing with Paul Heyman. There’s a lot that could be brought up there without even mentioning Lesnar: Heyman managing Austin early on in his career, giving him the opportunity to do a rough cut of the ‘Stone Cold’ character in ECW in 1995, and their time together in the Alliance. Then of course there’d be the history between Lesnar and Austin. The Texan famously walked out on WWE in 2002 after he was told he was to lose to ‘The Next Big Thing’ on an episode of RAW with no build-up. Heyman could spin that as Austin being scared of Lesnar and go on to talk up Lesnar various shoot credentials and WWE accomplishments to add validity to his claim. There are a lot of topics that could be covered to create a very tense, very real atmosphere for the bout.

Would it happen? I don’t think it would. While Austin would probably be more willing to risk injury than Batista and The Rock because he’s not got as many acting commitments or opportunities he does have a more serious medical history than either man (which, were it to happen, could be another topic for Heyman). Austin’s neck and knees would take a pounding in a match with ‘The Beast’ and I don’t think it would be worth the risk to his health.

Austin versus Hogan is another match with a very obvious appeal to it but I don’t think it could ever happen. ‘The Hulkster’ would need an opponent who could carry him, and that wouldn’t necessarily by Austin after twelve-plus years away from the ring. Then, of course, there’d be the question of winning. Can you imagine either man agreeing to lie down for the other? I can’t. And in this day and age anything less than a clear winner would not go down well.

There’s also John Cena. He’s already faced The Rock twice, losing once and winning once. Their matches were not received well and it’s tough to see things being any different in a Cena v Austin match. Rock actually seemed like a better fit for the Cena character as he was always a little more family-friendly than Austin, and Cena’s always about being family friendly. Something about their characters just made the pairing a natural fit, just as Austin and Punk would fit well together.

Were the match to happen Cena would obviously find himself booed. Austin, more than anyone else from the late 90s and early 00s, embodies the spirit of the Attitude Era. He was the man that sparked that movement within the company. It would be tough to see the match outside of the frame of Attitude versus PG and that’s a scenario WWE should want to keep Cena away from at all costs. The match would probably be as good if not better than Cena’s collisions with The Rock but that’s not really saying much.

Were Austin to return for a match there’s one match I’d want to see more than any other. It’s a match that has never happened but was once advertised as a pay-per-view main event: Austin v Triple H v The Rock. A triple threat match between the three biggest stars of the Attitude Era.

The match was originally advertised as the main event of Survivor Series 1999, a lovely bit of deliberate false advertising by the WWF because they knew from the start that it would never take place. Early on in the show Austin was “run over” in a car park to write him out of the match and storylines, allowing him to head off for a neck surgery. He was replaced by Big Show, who left as the new WWF champion.

Even back then I don’t think the match would have been incredible but it would probably have been very good. But it’s a bout that goes beyond concerns over quality. It’s appeal lies in seeing the three biggest stars of a generation together at the same time. And of course in seeing who’d be booked to go over. Had it happened in ’99 with all three men healthy it would have been hard to call. There were reasons for each man to win: Austin had been the company’s leading man for over a year and a half, The Rock was set to step up and become just as big a star, and Triple H was the era’s lead heel who always found a way to escape with the title. If it were to happen now none of that would be a factor. Times have changed and each man has a Hall of Fame career behind him. But it would still be one of the hardest matches to predict a winner for. And I think it would be an incredibly satisfying watch.

Monday, 29 September 2014

The Network Launch (Not) Heard Round the World

A month or two ago it was announced on RAW that the WWE Network would be available in the UK from October 1. Today is September 29, two days before this supposed launch date, and information on the Network's British availability is distinctly hard to come by.

No price has been announced. The $9.99 a month price tag US subscribers shell out may be a good estimate. But equally it might not. We don’t know because nothing’s been announced. WWE may decide to forego adjusting the price to match the currency exchange (which would currently see subscribers here paying a peculiar £6.13 a month) and opt to charge us £9.99. Hey, they've already gotten the price over as a slogan, why not gouge UK customers for some extra cash too?

It's odd that the British launch hasn't been mentioned on RAW in recent weeks. Especially when you consider how much the Network gets mentioned during the show. It would take very little effort for Cole, Lawler or Layfield to add “Oh, by the way, the British launch is still on. Here’s some info.” They may plug it excessively tonight, and that will make sense. But there was nothing to stop them drumming up interest over the last month. Excessing plugging’s happening, so why not throw in some pertinent info?

And speaking of drumming up interest: why has a wrestler not been dispatched to Britain for a string of media appearances hyping the launch? There's a live event tour planned for November, that could've been mentioned too. Bad News Barrett's currently injured. He'd have been the ideal choice for the media blitz spot considering his knowledge ever increasing popularity here. If he were unavailable for some reason then there are scores of undercard performers treading water each week who'd probably love the chance to express a bit of character with some media appearances.
 
This fella wants to hear all about WWE's streaming service.
Hey, Hulk Hogan's done nothing since SummerSlam, and he was hired specifically to act as a spokesman for the WWE Network (amongst other things, obvs). Where's he? Not on This Morning laughing it up with Phillip ‘Two Ls’ Schofield that's for sure. 

I'm not saying the launch has been pushed back. But it feels like it had. WWE have done an unusually poor job of hyping the Network in what is expected to be its number two market. Perhaps they’re confident in their popularity here. But considering the talk of disappointing sign-up numbers up until this point I would have thought they’d want to try to make as big an impact as possible here. Perhaps I’m wrong.

Wednesday, 13 August 2014

That RAW Recap 11.08.14

This week's RAW was final stop before SummerSlam 2014. WWE's final chance to persuade people that the card they've put together is not just worth their time but worth shelling out pay-per-view or Network money for. SummerSlam looks like a good show and WWE needed to do it justice here.

The programme kicked off with the obligatory welcome from the regular commentary team trio and a lurid graphic telling anyone who'd somehow dodged the social media blitz and news site spoilers that the show would feature a birthday celebration for Hulk Hogan. To that end presents, all wrapped in 'Hulkster' red and yellow, were heaped at the top of the entrance ramp. I'll put you out of your misery now and confirm that, sadly, Hogan did not open any of them. At least not on TV.

Lovely new T-shirt on Lesnar there.
Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman took the opening segment, a promo designed to sell the Lesnar v Cena match to "the CeNation." Lesnar had requested Heyman make this pitch apparently, although I find it tough to imagine a string of monosyllabic grunts intelligibly making the request. Heyman showed stills of Lesnar defeating The Streak (there was a pretty decent pop when Shocked Undertaker Guy was shown) and reminded everyone that as a rookie Lesnar had trounced both The Rock and Hulk Hogan, both of whom had disappeared after their respective losses. Heyman claimed that after SummerSlam Cena would be disappearing too, blissfully skipping over the fact that Rock disappeared to make a film and Hogan disappeared due to one of his many contract disputes. Amusingly Hogan's name got a mixed reaction, making him officially less popular than Shocked Undertaker Guy. And on his birthday, no less!

I was surprised when they acknowledged the Extreme Rules 2012 match between Lesnar and Cena. Heyman claimed that Lesnar had lost that match but won the fight, whatever that means. He also claimed that Lesnar was still suffering from diverticulitis (which he suffered from for years without realising it, and it really did end his UFC career) at the time but at this year's SummerSlam he'll be one hundred per cent. My favourite line of this rant was that the beating Cena will receive will be that of a Shakespearean tragedy, because there aren't anywhere near enough allusions to Shakespeare in wrestling.

Heyman finished up with an entertaining rap, playing off of Cena's old gimmick. Then he said the ring was Brock Lesnar's house and announced they were going out for dinner (yes, really) with a promise that they'd be back.

Flo Rida and Weird Al Yankovic wished Hogan a happy birthday via videos. Later in the show we were treated to similarly vapid messages from Drew Brees, AJ Hawk, Aaron Rodgers, Florida Georgia Line, and Larry King. I'd heard of precisely three of these people.

After a break Roman Reigns entered the arena for the first match of the show. Before that took place Kane strolled out in a suit and announced he'd been made Director of Operations again. Amusingly, he referred to himself in the third person when talking about the previous week's Reigns v Kane bout and also botched his lines when he said "six weeks" instead of "six days." I've missed Corporate Kane.

Reigns' opponents were RybAxel in a handicap match. The former Shield boy won by disqualification when Ryback and Axel wouldn't stop battering him at ringside. He gave both a Superman punch afterwards, with 'The Big Guy' also getting a spear. That was followed by a formulaic babyface promo most notable for once again demonstrating that trying to get Reigns to be funny helps nobody.

A clip for a Dean Ambrose DVD compilation in ten years time.
Rollins defeated RVD via curb stomp in the second match of the night. Afterwards Dean Ambrose exploded out of a large Hogan present and attacked him. Rollins ran off through the crowd. Ambrose reminded everyone about the lumberjack match against his former teammate and sarcastically plugged the WWE Network. It was funny, because Ambrose has the personality to pull off something that ridiculous, but it's not something WWE should make a habit of.

A Stephanie McMahon promo followed that. She brought Megan Miller, physical therapist to Daniel Bryan, into the ring. Coaxed by Steph, Megan claimed that she'd been having an affair with D-Bry. That brought out an angry Brie Bella-Bryan (Triple B?) to give Megan a slap and spear Stephanie. For good measure she put a Yes Lock on the boss before Finlay and Mr Jamie Noble arrived to pry her off. Stephanie said they'd finish things later on in the show. I'd be amazed if anyone in the building genuinely believed a SummerSlam match was being moved, unadvertised, to the pre-'Slam RAW.

After that Jack Swagger defeated Cesaro with the Patriot Lock. That was followed by a short, casual racism-stuffed promo from Zeb Colter. Rusev and Lana came out during their "We the people!" shtick. Flag waving ensued.

Next up was a sitdown interview with Bray Wyatt and Chris Jericho, taped earlier in the day. Michael Cole was meant to host it but he was dismissed within the first ten seconds by 'The Eater of Worlds'. Bray's opening gambit was to say that 'Y2J' is a disappointment to his father (a retired NHL player named Ted Irvine, for anyone who cares and doesn't already know). Of himself Wyatt said he wants to help people but that he's never claimed to be a saviour. I'm pretty sure he's claimed exactly that but his character isn't exactly meant to be trustworthy or entirely lucid so I suppose the lie can be overlooked. Then he descended into the normal Wyatt speak of monsters and heaven and hell and bubbling nonsense (there's a pale horse on the horizon apparently). Jericho said he's a survivor and promised he'll shut Wyatt up.

It wasn't the best segment. Wyatt functions far better when he has a live crowd to read. Jericho fell into the trap many long serving WWE stars seem to be falling into lately of referring to unlocking different levels if sadism within themselves. It's boring and illogical, particularly for a guy like Jericho who is still generally thought of as a technical wrestler, albeit one who's experienced a wide variety of gimmick matches. On top of that they appeared to be discussing which of the pair of them was and was not a saviour. Not exactly riveting stuff, is it?

Match number four saw Eva Marie pin AJ Lee off a rollup after Paige had skipped around the ring. The Divas champ is easily distracted. 'The Anti-Diva' then recited a poem. AJ then threw Eva into a crowd barrier. That was probably designed to illustrate how dangerous she is.

As much as Cena's current title reign does nothing for me
I do like the way he wears the belts.
WWE champion John Cena was up next, sporting a new red and yellow themed shirt no doubt inspired by the Hulk Hogan birthday bash. He mimicked Paul Heyman's style of delivery to begin with, which was a nice touch. He called Lesnar an arrogant bully who only cares about himself and said he'd never lie down for him, because he doesn't like him. Maybe he's been hanging out with Shawn Michaels. Acknowledging he's not unbeatable Cena said he would lose the title(s) one day but he'd make sure it wasn't to 'The Beast'. And speaking of that particular Lesnar nickname, Cena said he'd become a beast to fight one. So there you go.

Cena called Lesnar out. There was no response. So Cena spouted his catchphrases and left. It was an effective enough piece of work from Cena, although he veered to close to his comedy routine for my liking.

The payoff to the earlier Stephanie and Brie angle was next. Steph revealed Megan Miller was pressing charges against Brie for her assault. JBL called it "brilliant", which made it even harder to take as anything but a wrestling angle. Stephanie gloated.

Dolph Ziggler v Heath Slater ended with Slater winning by count out after 'The Show Off' was distracted by Miz (who'd been on commentary) and chased him around ringside. Ziggler gave 'The One Man Band' a post-match Zig Zag to make sure there was no confusion about who the real star was.

The evening's final match saw Randy Orton defeat Sheamus. The match itself was perfectly fine. They both did all their signature spots and seemed happy to leave it at that. The finish was above average though: Sheamus leapt off the top rope and got caught with an RKO.

Finally there was Hulk Hogan's birthday bash. The birthday boy passed the entire roster assembled at the top of the ramp and joined Gene Okerlund and Jimmy Hart in the ring. 'Mean' Gene then cued up a video package looking back at Hogan’s life, wisely focusing mostly on his original 80s run. It was a good piece of work. Hogan talked about getting presents from everyone, including a wonderfully fictitious anecdote about Vince McMahon giving him a birthday card with $9.99 in it so that he could subscribe to the Network (which told us months ago, multiple times, he'd already signed up for). They were then joined by Ric Flair, Paul Orndorf, Roddy Piper, Kevin Nash and Scott Hall. The Outsiders encouraged 'The Hulkster' to tear off the red and yellow and don the nWo black and white. Hogan ripped off his shirt, revealing that he just so happened to be wearing the appropriate old WCW merch. Nash capped off the nonsense by starting to sing happy birthday. He was cut off by Brock Lesnar's music.

Lesnar just wanted a party of his own.
'The Pain' got in Hogan's face before Cena ran down to the ring to intervene. The SummerSlam opponents stared at one another for a moment before Lesnar stepped out of the ring and sauntered into the aisle. The final shot of the show was Brock shouting "I am a mercenary!"

The show achieved everything it needed to. Every segment was designed to highlight a SummerSlam match. Some matches may have benefited from a little more build (Ambrose v Rollins in particular) but on the whole everything seemed well judged. I don't think WWE could have done much better writing a RAW to create interest in this particular SummerSlam match. I'm that regard it was mission: accomplished. Hopefully they pull out all the stops and make SummerSlam a show to remember.