Turning the Paige

On the Monday 21 September episode of Monday Night RAW is WAR, TV's longest running episodic action adventure soap opera (or something), Paige cut a scathing promo. Or, if you prefer, she dropped a pipebomb. Personally I don't prefer, finding the term trite and irritating when applied to anything other than the segment which originated the phrase, CM Punk's show-closing hijacking of RAW on June 27 2011.

Paige cut her promo during the in-ring celebration of new Divas champion Charlotte (let the record show she'd defeated Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions the previous evening). After claiming she was the one who'd made the upturn in women's wrestling in the Fed possible, calling the interaction between Charlotte and her pa Ric patronising, and reminding everyone that she'd won the Divas title on her first night on the roster Paige laid into every member of the roster. Alicia Fox was labelled a third wheel. All three members of Team BAD were written off as all flash and no substance¹. Natalya was sarcastically referred to as MIA. Charlotte was called a placeholder champ, Lynch irrelevant, and there was heavy implication that storyline Paige believes the Bellas only got to and keep their spots because of who they're romantically linked to². It was good stuff, believable, relatable and understandable. Charlotte's response was slightly disappointing because she undersold the betrayal she should have been feeling and simply lashed out angrily. But it was at least spiritied.

Paige there, working herself into a shoot.

It's not the specifics that are important here, it's what Paige's words set up. And they set up a lot. There's the obvious Paige versus Charlotte match for the title. It also created issues between Natalya and Paige and Becky Lynch and Paige, the reasons for each being pleasantly different. Natty has been positioned as the old guard whom 'The Anti-Diva' considers irrelevant/past her prime, which Natty will clearly want to prove wrong.

Meanwhile Becky was labelled "the least relevant" woman on the roster by Paige. Since Monday she's taken the initiative (or been ordered to follow up on the verbal assault) and launched a series of pun themed insults at Paige on Twitter. The pun aspect isn't doing anybody any favours but 'The Lasskicker' firing back as opposed to meekly accepting Paige's low blow or waiting until the next TV show to assert herself is absolutely the right thing for everyone involved. It creates an issue between two wrestlers that gives them a reason to have a match that doesn't involve a championship. That's rare in WWE, especially in their women's league.

In a little under a week WWE have set the decidedly non-progressively named Divas up to have an interesting, layered division. Charlotte has a rematch with Nikki to come as well as her fresh issue with Paige to resolve. Paige has matches ready with both Natalya and Becky, which could both be run through before she gets her title shot opposite 'The Nature Girl' (no way Nikki's getting the belt back for a while). Sasha Banks has also been quietly set up for a larger role with TV wins over Paige and the emphasis on her being an established rival of Charlotte from NXT.

Whether the writing team follows through on any of this is something else. History tells us they'll mishandle things and deliver an uninspired sequence of matches revolving around the Divas title. But thanks to Paige's promo and the work that's been put into the division we can dare to get our hopes up that the MSG Network special or the Hell in a Cell PPV could feature Charlotte v Nikki and Paige v Becky, instead of the standard issue lone title match.

***

¹ The only one that could possibly apply to is Naomi, although I think it would be an unfair statement. Tamina has neither flash nor substance while Sasha Banks has both.

² The irony here is that until a few weeks ago that seemed to be a largely unfair statement. Then rumours started doing the rounds about Big Match John pulling strings to extend Nikki's title reign.

Double the Butterfly, Double the Fun

Over the last few years there's been intermittent talk about a Divas tag team division being introduced to WWE. Much of this talk has come from the Bella twins in interviews with various non-WWE organisations, websites and magazines (and, for what it's worth, it tends to be more Nikki than Brie). The recent renovation of the Divas division has, predictably, led to the Bellas making another push for it.

Potential tag team champions.

In principle I think it's a good idea. A singles belt and tag belts would help the division to feel more like a rounded, competitive division rather than a bunch of wrestlers swapping one championship amongst themselves. It would also make sense considering the prominence of tag wrestling in general these days.

The trouble is that it feels far too early for the Divas division to be heading in this direction. Right now the focus should be on establishing that this really is the best Divas line-up we've had in years. That means continuing to highlight Sasha Banks,  Becky Lynch and Charlotte (Flair) as women every bit the equals of their more tenured peers. It also means continuing to give women's matches the time to impress and satisfy, as well as making the singles championship currently carried by Nikki Bella feel like a prize worth winning. The introduction of tag titles would detract from this process and it would throw the focus of the division off kilter.

It would also highlight the lack of depth to the roster. Yes, the additions of the three NXT stars is welcome but it only brings the number of active wrestlers up to nine. Throw in Natalya (who's currently taking time off to help husband Tyson Kidd recover from an injury) and that's enough for five teams, hardly enough for a thriving division despite what large stretches of the last decade of WWE's men's tag division would have you believe.

Stick Charlotte in a singles title feud with Sasha Banks,
have Paige and Becky as a tag team.

The good news is that there are two pairings that are obvious for carrying a Divas tag scene. One is the Bella twins. You really shouldn't need me to explain why but I will: they're sisters and therefore a natural tag team. The other is the pairing of Paige and Becky Lynch. Their shared background on the British indies provides a logical reason for the two to form a regular team (because they feel a kinship). Their real long-time friendship dating back a decade could be referenced to make their journey to the tag team titles seem more special and heart-warming, more of an achievement.

 

A third option worth touching on is the "family" connection between Naomi and Tamina, although Tamina's limited in-ring ability would make them a poor choice to carry the division.

If the Divas' roster can stretch to twelve or so strong (a perfectly achievable goal considering the number of women in NXT) then a Divas tag division would be entirely justifiable. Emma and Dana Brooke are a logical pair of call-ups to make should tag straps be introduced. Alexa Bliss could find someone to team with. The two newcomers who I won't name because they're currently rotating through various handles could be introduced as plucky underdogs. Bayley and Charlotte's friendship from NXT would be the good basis for a call-up and a title chase. The division just needs time to get its singles work right. Post-WrestleMania next year things could, and should, be very different.

AJ Lee Retirement... Outta Nowhere!

On Friday 3 April it was announced that AJ Lee had retired, with immediate effect, from in-ring competition.

Pregnant? Irresistable offer from TNA?
Heading to UFC? Find out what's next for AJ
when she hits the shoot video circuit!

Despite the large amount of time she's taken off over the last year and the persistent rumours that she was leaving, or had decided not to re-sign when her contract expires, this news came as a surprise. AJ had only returned to the company in February and had been involved in a storyline opposite Divas champ Nikki Bella. She had, in fact, made Nikki tap out at WrestleMania. That's an indication that WWE believed she'd be around for a while. Had they known, or even suspected, she would be retiring less than a week later it's likely Nikki would have found herself tapping out to Paige's PTO instead.

The initial response from many people has been to label this a huge loss. "#ThankYouAJ" trended on Twitter within minutes of the news being announced and was still trending a day later. It is a loss, no question, but I don't think it's quite the blow people think it is.

For starters it's important to note that, rightly or wrongly, the Divas division is not that important in WWE right now. AJ may be one of the main names attached to it but it's still a very minor part of the overall product. The division isn't presented with any legitimacy so it doesn't really matter if one of the women who has legitimacy leaves. It won't change the way the division is viewed the way, for example, a Lita or Trish Stratus departure would have done in 2002. Then the women's division was well-booked and they were two of its most popular contributors. Now there aren't any fans of WWE's Divas division, just fans of individual Divas.

There's also the question of AJ's ability. She's frequently credited as being one of WWE's best female wrestlers. She's good, but is she really head and shoulders above the rest of the women under contract? On the main roster Paige and Natalya are easily as good as her, if not better. Naomi isn't far behind, and I don't think the Bellas (on a good time with some time behind them) are either.

If you widen things and consider the women in NXT too then AJ's status takes a further hit. In the last year Emma, Bayley, Charlotte, and Sasha Banks have all had better matches than I can ever remember AJ having. They benefit from more time than AJ has ever done for her matches, true, but that only further highlights how little AJ is able to contribute as part o the Divas division. Alexa Bliss is rough around the edges but improving. The only women on televised NXT that can definitely be said to not come close to being as good as AJ are Becky Lynch and Carmella. That's hardly glowing praise.

Less AJ means more Natalya and Naomi. I'm down with that.

This is not to knock AJ. She's very good. It's certainly not to knock the impact she's had on WWE. Since her debut on the third season of original format NXT (the unfortunate Vince McMahon experiment that gave us the Nexus) she has become one of the most important female wrestlers of the last decade. She was a believable character who got to interact with guys at the top of the card, something which may still prove to be a significant point of progression for WWE in the long run. At a time when women in WWE are marginalised and have their work presented as filler material AJ managed to get over and make herself a meaningful character. That was impressive and speaks to her ability. It's something others will benefit from in the future.

But in terms of match quality AJ Lee's retirement is not the monumental loss it's being treated as. This is one of those periodic shifts wrestling companies actually benefit from. An established star leaves and creates a spot for someone else. A new addition was probably going to get called up to the main roster soon anyway, so AJ's departure means we could get two instead. Imagine how much better the Divas division could (important to note I'm saying could, I'm not confident WWE will actually start giving their main roster female performers the time they deserve) be if Sasha Banks got brought up alongside lead candidate Charlotte.

AJ's impact over the last few years has been important. I think we'll see that when we look back in years to come. But at this point, with the Divas still not getting much air time and the entire division feeling overly familiar, AJ's departure is for the best. It allows fresh names to come in and shake things up. There could be no end more fitting to her legacy than the Divas division flourishing in the wake of her retirement. I hope it's allowed to and I hope she enjoys whatever she gets up to next. Let's just hope it's not a move to UFC. I don't think a fight against Ronda Rousey would end well for her.

Marital Troubles

One of the few consistent stories WWE’s told over the last few months has been the one concerning the marital problems of Tyson Kidd and Natalya. It’s been a prominent part of Total Divas and has been a regular, if minor, aspect of the pair’s appearances both on the main roster TV shows and NXT. All the signs indicate that it’s not something that’s going to come to much outside of Total Divas, which is a waste because WWE could do something memorable with it if they wanted to.

It’s been pretty well established that part of the problem is Tyson having a problem with Natalya getting the spotlight when he doesn’t. There have been times where he’s posed in front of her after she’s gotten a victory and he’s frequently not bothered going to ringside for her matches, while she accompanies him for all of his (unless a storyline reason prevents her from doing so). There’s also been the more highlighted stuff with Tyson being “overly friendly” with Nikki Bella when she’s been competing against his wife.

Note Tyson's complete lack of interest.

So how about building towards Natalya versus Tyson Kidd at WrestleMania 31? Have Kidd continue to upstage Nattie on RAW and SmackDown across the next week of TV, and refuse to accompany her to the ring for matches she considers important. Nattie could win a number on contenders match on an episode of SmackDown, earning her a shot at the winner of the Nikki Bella versus Paige Fast Lane match on an episode of RAW. Her celebrating could be interrupted by Tyson strolling to ringside and batting her out of the way to stand on a turnbuckle. Because he’s totes a megastar.

Natalya could shrug that mistreatment off as she shrugs all his mistreatment off, and then convince Tyson that she really, really wants him there at ringside to see her become the Divas champ at against Nikki or Paige. He’d reluctantly agree (it’s not like he’s on RAW much anyway) and be at ringside for the match. This being wrestling he’d end up accidentally costing her the match in some way and then storm backstage when she dares to blame him for her loss.

This would end up being a turning point for Natalya, the moment that makes her realise that her husband doesn’t respect her or her career. The following week’s RAW could see her announce she’s made a decision about her marriage, setting up the reveal for the following week and giving people a reason to tune in. Naturally the commentary crew could play up that she’s going to ask Tyson for a divorce, because that’s the on the nose approach favoured by WWE.

But instead the next week’s show would arrive and Natalya would get an in-ring promo segment challenging Tyson to a match at WrestleMania. He’d laugh it off before being convinced (through a slap or the threat of separation or some other Grand Gesture™) that Natalya’s serious. Maybe he could say no and then spend weeks being convinced that Nattie will go through with her threat of divorce, or maybe he could simply say yes to begin with.

Either way it would need to be clear that the match isn’t about spousal abuse (because that’s distinctly un-PG and, more to the point, not something I think pro wrestling is well-equipped to tackle) but rather about respect and gender equality (the former of which is firmly in pro wrestling’s ball park and the latter of which really should be). Natalya would want to prove she’s just as good a wrestler as any of the guys and that Tyson should respect her. Tyson wouldn’t necessarily have to transform into a raging sexist for the story to work, he could simply remain the inattentive husband who believes Natalya supporting his endeavours is of greater import than him supporting hers.

Natalya would need to win the match, of course. A mid-card husband versus wife story of this nature needs to win with the wife vindicated otherwise it sends a very poor message. Ideally she’d go over with the Sharpshooter before they reconcile with a hug. I think Natalya and Tyson could have a good match if they had more than five minutes, and it would be nice for them to get a genuinely memorable, meaningful WrestleMania Moment.

NXTweet 14.01.15

This was one of the best regular episodes of NXT in some time (which is not to downplay the show’s usual high quality). Bálor versus Kidd and Zayn versus Neville both would have been acceptable main events and the women’s match and Bull versus Baron both would have been logical inclusions on the next special. Basically we were spoilt, and this is an excellent episode for people to start out on the show with.

Tyson Kidd v Finn Bálor

Tweet 1:

November
X-ray
Tango
India
Mike
Echo
SHIELD!!
Tweet 2: Roar of the crowd and so forth.
Tweet 3: Charles Robinson looking confused. Great opening shot.
Tweet 4: Calgary, dramatic pause, Alberta, Canada.
Tweet 5: Bálor versus Kidd as the opener. I'm down with this.
Tweet 6: Bálor is wearing trunks made from Christmas wrapping paper.
Tweet 7: A-Ry's changed his tune on Bálor. It's almost like he's been told off for running down a guy clearly going places.

CATS!

Tweet 8: The commentary team are discussing Tyson's yellow ring gear and the cats on it. I'm a fan.
Tweet 9: "He knows how to keep himself relevant in WWE" - Renee Young on, of all people, Tyson Kidd
Tweet 10: "Looked like a floating, spinning neck breaker of some kind" - 'The Analyst' Alex Riley
Tweet 11: Well that was a good match.

Devin Taylor interviews Bull Dempsey backstage

Tweet 12: The bull and the baron will finally meet after... well, about three interactions.

Tweet 13: Very good interactions though.
Tweet 14: Bull's on the screen shouting his own name. I think he's predicting a win for himself. He didn't actually state it though.

Baron Corbin v Bull Dempsey

Tweet 15: How about putting Corbin and Bull together as a team and giving them the old KroniK gimmick?

Tweet 16: Remember KroniK? Course you do! They were hilarious.

Lad smash!

Tweet 17: Surprised the audience didn't even try counting for this match.
Tweet 18: That match marked the first time Baron Corbin did anything I found impressive. Specifically it was his match-winning End of Days.

Natalya and Charlotte v Team Best at Everything

Tweet 19: Charlotte's been wearing the same outfit for the last month. #justsaying

Tweet 20: I weep every time I see these awful trousers of Becky's.
Tweet 21: Love the fact that this is a WWE women's match that has a reason for happening and isn't being presented as filler.

Team Best at Taking Drop Kicks.

Tweet 22: Why can't they bring themselves to do this on the main roster?
Tweet 23: Sasha pinned the champ she celebrated like it meant something. That win will probably get her a title shot.
Tweet 24: Again, why can't they do this on the main roster?
Tweet 25: Sasha does a better woooooo than Charlotte.

NXT championship: Sami Zayn (c) v Adrian Neville

Tweet 26: The crowd like Neville again now, for the record.

Tweet 27: #CodeofHonor
Tweet 28: Riley's commentary seems even more poor than usual. Where is Corey Graves? He's, y'know, good.
Tweet 29: Duelling mean streaks spot.
Tweet 30: Cracking hurricanrana. I imagine I'm not the first person to say that.
Tweet 31: I say say, I mean type.

Well done, Sami. That was textbook.

Tweet 32: That blue thunder bomb is nice too.
Tweet 33: Sami using the rolling German suplexes. #awk
Tweet 34: Zayn is so out of it Nev can't pull him to his feet. He's not going for a cover though. That would be too obvious...
Tweet 35: The diving DDT through the ropes rarely works out for Zayn. Maybe drop it...
Tweet 36: Zayn retains with an Exploder suplex and the Helluva kick. Very good match.
Tweet 37: Good episode overall actually. Almost like a special in that every match was of high quality. All but the opener had a fair bit of build.

Poor old Sami...

Tweet 38: Owens showed up and power bombed Zayn. Because he's a heel and we all need reminding of that.
Tweet 39: Spoiler: we're getting Owens v Zayn at some point in the next few months. That's a good thing, obvs.

NXTweet 27.11.14

The return of Blue Pants, Finn Bálor’s first NXT singles match, and Tyson Kidd Skyping cats. It’s NXT.

Tyler Breeze v Marcus ‘le Monstre’ Louis

Tweet 1: Right then. Let's get NXT watched.

Tweet 2: Look everyone! It's Tyler!!
Tweet 3: Loving this Marcus 'I'm A Monster!' Louis shtick.
Tweet 4: Trunks and a towel. No music. Pure entrance.
Tweet 5: No kneepads.
Tweet 6: "Marcus Louise" - The Bernard Train
Tweet 7: Solid comedy promo from Breeze. Gets his character over, refers to himself as precious, drops an "uggo" for good measure.
Tweet 8: Then Breeze won. Tremendous.
Tweet 9: Then this happened:

Tweet 10: I miss those carefully cultivated tufts of hair on Marcus's head.

Post-break recap of Marcus Louis’ antics

Tweet 11: During the break Louis wandered out of the front door in his trunks.

Tweet 12: Crowd popped for seeing a man walk out into the street in his pants. Don't blame them. #TVgold

Carmella v Blue Pants

Tweet 13: You can't teach being seven feet tall. That's a shoot.

Tweet 14: Does Staten Island have royalty?

These three could be so good on RAW.

Tweet 15: Crowd chanting for the return of Leva Bates as Blue Pants. WWE should really consider signing her.
Tweet 16: That entrance music Big Cass did was better than some of Jim Johnston's work.
Tweet 17: Carmella getting booed because she's not as over as the enhancement talent there.

Finn Bálor interviewed backstage

Tweet 18: Finn Bálor’s backstage taping his fists with a flag jauntily draped over his shoulder.

Tweet 19: He thinks the future is now. Factually inaccurate.

The Lucha Dragons v Jason Jordan and Tye Dillinger

Tweet 20: I reckon the real reason Rey Mysterio wants out of WWE is that he knows he'll never be as over as The Lucha Dragons.

Tweet 21: Jordan and Dillinger should use the team name Jordillinger.
Tweet 22: Renee Young thought The Vaudevillains, who are pantomime villains, would be above using midgets to mock opponents. Oh, Renee.
Tweet 23: That "Oh, Renee" in the last tweet was withering. It wasn't a reference to 'Allo, 'Allo.

Work on your boots, lads.

Tweet 24: It's bothering me for more than it should that the Dragons don't have matching boots but do have matching tights.
Tweet 25: Well that match did nothing for Jordillinger. Didn't do that much for Cara and Kalisto either.

Kevin Owens hype video

Tweet 26: Kevin Owens vignette. He fights to provide for his family. He'll fight anyone.

Tweet 27: Looking forward to seeing what WWE do with this Kevin Owens guy. He looks like he might be good...

Bayley promo, featuring Sasha Banks and Becky Lynch

Tweet 28: Bayley's booked herself some in-ring promo time after Charlotte said she wouldn't be around to watch her back. This won't end well.

Tweet 29: Bayley with a B A Star promo there.
Tweet 30: OMG Becky Lynch and Sasha Banks have interrupted her! Whadda shock!

Sasha Banks, looking decidedly non-ratchet.

Tweet 31: Team BAE gave Bayley's knee a tap and some refs broke them up. The overly buff ref was involved.

Tyson Kidd and Natalya interviewed backstage

Tweet 32: How does Natalya feel about her husband's match with Finn Bálor? She's excited. Excited for Tyson's #opportunity

Tweet 33: Natalya just said she's putting Tyson over. Insider term, much? Jim Neidhart will privately disown her over that.
Tweet 34: Natalya should take a Kevin Nash approach with her character. Start taking it easy in the ring and dropping in insider jargon.
Tweet 35: Tyson's off to Skype some cats and cousin Teddy before his match.

Vaudevillains vignette

Tweet 36: Silent black and white movie of The Vaudevillains training. Legit gold.

Tweet 37: Gotch boxing a bear was probably the highlight.

Finn Bálor v Tyson Kidd

Tweet 38: That pose was a bit Jericho. 'Y2Devitt'.

Finn Bálor channelling Chris Jericho.

Tweet 39: Just going to put this out there: I reckon WWE are doing a slow build to a Natalya versus Tyson Kidd match. Probably at 'Mania.
Tweet 40: Kidd pulled Natalya in front of him to stop Bálor doing a tope. If I were Bálor I'd have done it anyway. Natty can bump.

Heel husband.

Tweet 41: "C'mon, ask him! Ask him in Irish!" - Tyson Kidd with an attempt at comedy heat
Tweet 42: The crowd is backing Kidd and booing some of Bálor's moves. I bet Bálor wishes he'd gone to TNA now!
Tweet 43: Sarcasm, obvs. Nobody in NXT wishes they were in TNA.
Tweet 44: Bálor had the match won and got jumped by The Ascension. Because special event hype.
Tweet 45: Some random jobbers joined the referees in trying to restore order. To the surprise of no one it failed.

NXTweet 31.07.14

Okay, here we go. No thrills, no spills, just my comments copied from Twitter about this week’s NXT. Enjoy.

Tyler Breeze v Angelo Dawkins

Tweet 1: Exclusively on the WWE Network apparently. Even though you can watch it on TV here. C'mon, WWE.

Tweet 2: Breeze being on the show is good. Angelo Dawkins being on the show is... erm...
Tweet 3: It’s something.
Tweet 4: Breeze is all about keeping his song in "the number top ten charts" according to Renee.
Tweet 5: The Beauty Shot is getting some nice treatment but it's still a spinning heel kick.

Breeze, nailing Blue Steel as he performs a spinning heel kick.

Tyler Breeze promo

Tweet 6: Just noticed Breeze's soul patch. Tremendous.

Tweet 7: The music video has been submitted for an Oscar. The announcement should have been a Breeze 2015 calendar.
Tweet 8: Lol at Adrian Neville getting boos for interrupting the music video.
Tweet 9: Neville busting out the mum cusses like a true blue stand-up babyface.
Tweet 10: I think we all want to know how Natalya feels about Adam Rose returning to NXT.

Devin Taylor chats to Natalya and an uninvited Tyson Kidd

Tweet 11: Tyson Kidd there, saying Rose has squandered all his chances on RAW. Pretty sure Rose has won most of his matches.

Tweet 12: And surely that's the definition of making the most of an opportunity in wrestling logic terms.
Tweet 13: When Kurt Angle goes back to WWE I hope you all know he's getting put in NXT to relearn how to work.

Becky Lynch v Charlotte

Tweet 14: Why bother developing your own traits when your dad's Ric Flair? Woooooo!

Tweet 15: Becky Lynch. Her finisher should be the Lynch Pinch.
Tweet 16: Comparisons to Lita are made by the commentary team. Good thing Punk's not around anymore.
Tweet 17: This match is far better than the Charlotte v Summer match last week.
Tweet 18: For the record that's Summer as in Summer Rae, not Summer as in the season.
Tweet 19: That match was a good advert for Charlotte. If the main roster had its division together of say she should be called up.
Tweet 20: As it is she's better off in NXT.

Mojo Rawley and Bull Dempsey agree to team

Tweet 21: Mojo Rawley and Bull Dempsey as a tag team? I don't know how to feel...

Tweet 22: On the one hand Bull's great. On the other hand Mojo's Mojo.

The Ascension v Steve Cutler and Mac Miles

Tweet 23: Note how Konor cuts stripes off his T-shirt to make himself look bigger. That's how it's done, kids.

Tweet 24: I'm picking Cutler and Miles in this match.
Tweet 25: Dem shoulder blocks.

Lookit that POWER!

Tweet 26: Mike Chioda reffing this match. #learninghowtowork
Tweet 27: My prediction was incorrect. The Ascension won. If Steve Cutler and Mac Miles can't beat them then I don't think anyone can.
Tweet 28: That Ascension promo. That was... something else.

Mojo Rawley and Bull Dempsey v The Mechanics

Tweet 29: Is Mojo Rawley's gimmick that he has ADHD?

Tweet 30: "This is like mixing a T-bone steak with peanut butter and jelly!" - Byron Saxton on Mojo Rawley and Bull Dempsey
Tweet 31: The Mechanics. An actual team name on NXT.
Tweet 32: I'll say this for Mojo, his lime green trunks are not awful.
Tweet 33: Dash Wilder has something of the Jamie Nobles about him.
Tweet 34: 'The Throwback' didn't do much in that match. But what he did do was good.

Charlotte snarks at Bayley backstage

Tweet 35: Who is this bargain bin Matt Striker Rich dude yammering it up with Bayley?

Tweet 36: Charlotte there, going at the mean girl shtick like a trooper.

Adam Rose v Tyson Kidd

Tweet 37: Just a reminder that Adam Rose puts me in mind of Jason King.

Tweet 38: Tyson Kidd's entrance music sounds like a sub-par SmackDown theme.
Tweet 39: Natalya giving Adam Rose's lollipop a lick. #PGera

Natalya likes a lollipop.

Tweet 40: Remember when Kidd's hair was just a quiff? I was a fan of that. He should bring it back.
Tweet 41: This match is fine and all but Kidd's doing nothing to antagonise the audience. That's just as much a part of WWE as actual rasslin'.
Tweet 42: Checking the arm in a sleeper. #oldschool
Tweet 43: If Rose ever goes heel the lollipop will make an excellent signature foreign object.
Tweet 44: The surprise roll-up finish has been doing big business in WWE over the last year.
Tweet 45: This Natalya and Tyson storyline is going to end with Tyson putting her in the Sharpshooter.

SnookiMania

So apparently Snooki wants back into the sports entertainment game. What's that? You’ve never heard of Snooki? Allow me to attempt an explanation.

Snooki’s full name is Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi. She shot to quasi-fame as a cast member on Jersey Shore, a show about a group of recognition-hungry layabouts flaunting their wealth and glamorous lifestyles in semi-scripted feuds and storylines (not dissimilar to wrestling, as it happens). Swimming pools, nightclubs and cheating partners featured prominently.

On the back of her popularity on that show she bagged numerous media appearances and a dose of fame. She also got a second, not very different, show in which she has a starring role. It’s called Snooki & JWoww. JWoww was also on Jersey Shore and holds the same media personality job description as Snooki.

Fake tan? No, definitely not.

When it became clear that Jersey Shore could sustain a level of popularity for a while WWE felt the need to associate with the show. Not satisfied with giving Zack Ryder a gimmick inspired by the programme they also hired Snooki, as the most marketable and one of the most respectable cast members, to host an episode of RAW in March 2011. That met with unspectacular results, as these sorts of WWE experiments tend to. Only a handful of non-wrestling fans were keen enough on Snooki to tune into RAW to watch her antics unfold. None stuck around (at least not in significant numbers) for any non-Snooki wrestling shows that followed.

Undeterred by the general public's spectacular indifference WWE forged ahead with the original plan to feature Snooki at that year’s WrestleMania. Not happy with simply having her appear (because that had been done) somebody in the company decided that Snooki should wrestle at the event. That she did, in the once prestigious semi-main event spot no less, teaming with John Morrison and Trish Stratus to defeat LayCool and Dolph Ziggler. Yep, Snooki was inexplicably booked as a babyface on the show which attracts the most hardcore wrestling fans. To the surprise of very few (a number which I suspect includes Snooki's agent) she was booed.

I shan't lie. I'm not overly familiar with Snooki's career so I had no idea what she'd been doing since WrestleMania XXVII until I Googled her to write this. Turns out she's mostly just been filming the reality show already mentioned. I can't say with any certainty whether or not her fame has increased, decreased or abstained from fluctuation altogether since her last WWE stint but I'd guess it's about the same. Essentially I'd assume she still has her own group of loyal fans. And if that's the case WWE could do worse than using her again.

Yeah, I'm advocating the use of a celebrity by WWE. Not revolutionary considering the company's track record and fairly unremarkable considering the celeb in question's been involved before and had announced they want to be involved again (on the Talk is Jericho podcast, for the record) but hear me out. If WWE were to simply bring in Snooki for a guest hosting spot on RAW it would be pointless. It's been done. It's also been proven she doesn't inflict a major change on ratings, which is the number one reason people of her ilk are brought in.

What I think WWE should do is offer Snooki a one year contract. Immediately you've got someone who can, with the right training and booking protection, work as a top heel in the Divas division and who can give Total Divas a boost. With the show going into its third series a boost is exactly what’s needed (the announcement that Rosa Mendes is joining the cast won’t provide it). In fact there's even the potential to do a series focusing solely on Snooki becoming a wrestler (which needn't preclude her from the TD cast). That could be shown exclusively on the WWE Network, netting more subscribers as her fans are forced to sign up to watch, or sold to TV channel, getting WWE some cash for a show that's unlikely to cost a lot to make.

Signing Snooki to a full contract (obviously an above average one in monetary terms) would create far more mainstream interest in WWE than having her make a one off appearance would. A fully fledged Z-lister becoming a bona fide full-time wrestler? TMZ and the like would lap that up!

While the reality setup would be Snooki's natural domain she could function well enough as a wrestler. She already has that much vaunted gymnastics background Michael Cole banged on about at 'Mania XXVII and could be stationed at NXT for the first several months of her contract. That she's going to be unpopular with fans would just need to be embraced (or perhaps I’m being hard on her and she has the ability to work out as a face: if so it’s hardly a loss, she’d just be booked differently). Sticking her with the BFFs would be sensible. It would not only cast her as a heel but also offer her some protection by surrounding her with more experienced heads.

After three or four months she could be promoted to the main roster to be carried through matches by Natalya, Emma, and Paige (notice how Divas are rarely entitled to surnames?). In fact, Snooki could be used as a device to elevate all the BFFs. The group could be called up as a unit with Snooki positioned as the star. That would make storylines easier to write (as each face challenger would have various singles and tag matches waiting for them opposing the villainous group) and allow multiple roster members to benefit from a celeb signing. There would also be a natural blow off feud between Snooki and whichever member of the BFFs WWE feels has the most potential for singles success in the long run. That's probably Charlotte but personally I like Sasha Banks's chances.

Her background means she's going to understand the social media aspects of being a WWE Diva (a downfall of many men and women WWE hires) and she's likely to pick up the knack of cutting a promo quickly if she's got the right teacher. She’d certainly be looked after in the teaching department. WWE would want their high profile signing to learn quickly and well in order to benefit from her as much as possible. As such they’d put their top people on her (stifle that laughter…).

The timing of this is something WWE would have to look at. Snooki's currently pregnant, which makes it an unlikely deal to be struck in the immediate future. That's not a concern though, because signing Snooki now isn't really ideal for WWE anyway. This is the sort of stunt that would best work in conjunction with WrestleMania. That would allow Snooki to make her first and last appearances on 'The Grandest Stage of Them All' and would ensure whatever Snooki-themed reality offering was concocted would be ready to air in the build-up to her second 'Mania, where Snooki would ideally be having a significant singles clash.

Snooki versus Charlotte at WrestleMania XXXII? You heard it here first!

NXT Takeover review

Three months into the WWE Network Era and we already have our second live NXT special. Perhaps someone in WWE realised NXT is their most consistent and enjoyable weekly programme and decided to treat us. More likely it was simply felt that the NXT stars warranted another live airing. Whatever the reason it was certainly welcome.

The commentary team for the evening consisted of Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton and William Regal. It was a relief not to have Alex Riley clogging things up with his insipid comments. And I wasn’t sad that Jason Albert (formerly gaijin warlord Tensai) was sitting things out either. He’s far easier to take in the role than A-Ry but he’s still not close to being amongst WWE’s verbal elite.

Before I talk about the wrestling I’d like to mention William Regal. He’s always entertaining and knowledgable when providing commentary but he was particularly good here. He continually and tirelessly put over the efforts of all performers on the card, enhancing everyone with his comments and pushing NXT as the important part of the WWE machine it is. Particularly good was his commentary during the main event, during which he discussed British wrestling and the difficulties of making a name for oneself in the US as a foreign star

And he danced to Rusev’s music. The guy can do it all!

The show opened with Adam Rose entering Full Sail through the front door with his Exotic Express in tow. He came through the crowd. That simple little difference and the reaction he got made him look like a star. It’s a pity he’s not been given anything better to do since turning up on RAW because the characters very enjoyable (and is also facing a struggle because it fits better in the smaller NXT Arena than in the cavernous lairs RAWs held in every week.

By contrast Camacho didn't even get to ride out on his tricycle. And he was called a party pooper by the fans. He looked like the bit part player he is.

"Is that a lollipop in your pocket or are you just pleased to see me?"

Rose played around for the first minute before Camacho took control. He kept control until the end of their five minutes, at which point Rose hit a spinebuster, an Exotic Express (formerly the heat-magnet-when-performed-by-Sean-Waltman Bronco Buster) and his Ace Crusher DDT for the victory. In this environment Rose is tremendous.

A video package recapped Sami Zayn's feud with Cesaro and how hard he worked to get to WWE. Also mentioned was his personal dislike of Tyler Breeze. Personally I like both guys. It was an effective video package that demonstrated Zayn’s passion for wrestling, as well as the much-vaunted heart and desire that are an integral part of his appeal.

After that ring announcer announced 'Prince Pretty' had entered the building.

And then The Ascension came out. They were loudly cheered, as has become the fashion. It would be nice if WWE made an NXT tag division a priority. Konnor and Viktor are over but they can only go so far without any meaningful opposition. People like them squashing jobbers, but it won’t do them any favours in the long term.

Challengers Kalisto and EL Local (the masked identity of ring announcer extraordinaire Ricardo Rodriguez) jumped the champions before the bell, sending them to the outside of the ring. A pair of suicide dives were met with elbows. That put things in the champions' favour and things stayed that way for a few minutes. Kalisto was kept in the ring for a while. He mostly took clotheslines and punches but there was a fair bit of getting rammed into turnbuckles too.

The Legion of Ascension.

Eventually he tagged in El Ricardo. That sparked off a frenetic sequence involving all four. It didn't take long for The Ascension to isolate Local and drop him with Fall of Man for another successful title defence.

Tyler Breeze was shown in the back looking from a phone to a mirror and back again. Just in case it wasn’t clear from his general gimmick that he’s a narcissist, presumably. A video about him was shown. It was far more gimmicky than Zayn's, because Breeze is more of a wrestling character than an extension of a real life personality. That said they did have Breeze say that being pretty isn't all he can do. For the record Breeze is still doing his Zoolander voice all the time. And it's still fun.

Zayn v Breeze followed that. It was a number one contendership match. The winner would progress to a match against the winner of the NXT championship main event. ‘Prince Pretty’ debuted new music. It featured the line “Part man but all model” and was as great as that should imply.

They wrestled. For fifteen minutes. Non-stop. It was pretty great. After starting out with some counter wrestling they got the story underway: Breeze shoved Zayn off the top rope to the floor, which put Zayn on the back foot and played into his recent (storyline) concussion trouble. After Breeze had controlled the pace for a bit the pair broke into the big spots.

Zayn v Breeze: match of the night.

Highlights there included a sitdown moonsault to the outside by Zayn; Zayn's blue thunder bomb; a high power bomb from the corner by Breeze; an exploder suplex into a turnbuckle from Zayn; a perfect super kick from Breeze, which earned him a scintillating near fall; and a suplex into a blue thunder bomb from Zayn (which was a really convincing false finish). It was ‘The Gorgeous One’ who got the win when he gave Zayn a Beauty Shot after a low blow during a Helluva kick attempt. Regal claimed he was just getting his hands up to protect himself. Phillips didn't seem convinced.

Backstage we saw Bret Hart having a chat with Tyson Kidd and Natalya. I’d like to think he was praising Natty for wearing pink and black and encouraging Kidd to do the same.

Back at ringside Lana strutted out into the entranceway. She introduced Rusev, as she tends to, who came out waving a Russian flag very aggressively. Rusev has, according to Lana, expanded his power across RAW and SmackDown. Putin was shown on the big screen and got booed. That's a great little gimmick. Rusev spoke in Russian then waved his flag like a madman again.

Mojo Rawley, who I still don't see the appeal of, came out and reminded Rusev and 'The Ravishing Russian' they were in America. Babyfaces tend to assume foreigners forget where they are all the time. 'The Hype Man' rushed the ring, got knocked down, and placed in the Steiner Recliner (or, if you prefer, The Accolade). That didn’t satisfy ‘The Ravishing Russian. She had Rusev chuck Mojo out of the ring and placed in the hold on the entrance ramp. Afterwards Rusev did a lot of hilarious fist-shaking. I want that to become a regular part of his act.

The pro-Russian shtick can, in the context of WWE, be ended by only one man. I'll give you a hint: he sells a lot of merch. I still think that could be a significant match at SummerSlam.

Another backstage scene was shown. Charlotte was walking around with her dad. That segued into a video showing the Charlotte v Natalya feud. Natty said she wants to be the best Hart ever and how she's proud to be the first female wrestler of the family. Charlotte said she's improved and keeps improving. The whole thing was given a Harts versus Flairs vibe. That didn't help Charlotte, because she’s nowhere near as charismatic as 'The Nature Boy' and she never will be. It was also inaccurate because the Flairs are not a wrestling dynasty as the Harts are. Only one Flair has achieved anything of note in wrestling, and that’s ‘The Nature Boy’. You can’t get a one man family dynasty, not even if you’re Ric Flair.

Paige strode out to the ring before the women's championship match. She thanked the fans and said the next champion needed to exhibit strength, character and grace. Yes, the NXT women’s champion needs grace. Also, she made the point that holding the NXT belt can lead to bigger things and brought attention to her Divas championship. Talking's not her strong point but she didn’t do too badly. It helps that she’s basically playing a regular woman and so can more easily draw on her personal experience and beliefs.

Charlotte entered to an enjoyable techno ditty featuring samples of the Space Odyssey theme no wrestling fan can hear without thinking of her dad. Flair looked better than he had in years. Natalya got her regular boring music. Bret was wearing jeans. He looked like he’d been sleeping rough. His insistence on hanging on to his raggedy ponytail didn’t help there.

The two were presented as an even match for the most part. Charlotte was the first to enjoy an extended period of control, impressing with her figure four headlock. Natty came back with a snapmare and a dash across Charlotte's neck, which looked dangerous (an indication of how good Natalya is). Charlotte busted out a top rope moonsault. As was usually the case for her dad the move to the top didn't pay off as Natalya rolled out of the way. Still, it was a good move smoothly performed.

The first championship of sixteen?

Natalya locked in a Sharpshooter. Charlotte survived around thirty seconds before rolling through it and applying a figure four (woooooo!). Natty pushed up and reversed the pressure but Charlotte refused to break the hold. Then they slapped each other a bit. Finally Charlotte rolled to the outside and hung off the apron for extra leverage. That prompted referee and noted Flair enthusiast Charles Robinson to break the hold. As an insult to Bret, Charlotte applied the Sharpshooter to Natty, looking right at ‘The Hitman’ as she did so. Natalya promptly countered out of it but wasn't quick enough to avoid a Bow Down to the Queen. That gave ‘The Nature Girl’ the win and the title. It was a very good match. Charlotte in particular was impressive, though that may be because I didn't expect as much from her.

Flair went nuts at ringside (he kept his shoes on luckily) and then the two women hugged in the ring. Ric and Bret shook hands and then congratulated the other's charge. It was a nice moment for all involved and emphasised once again that NXT is the wrestling show, not a storyline show.

The final video of the evening was a look at the build-up to Tyson Kidd versus Adrian Neville for the latter’s NXT championship. Kidd talked about being hungry and wanting to get back to the big time. Neville discussed being undefeated in 2014 and facing a variety of opponents. It was an approach I'd like to see WWE use more: they used wrestling to create a story and made the men relatable through their aspirations within their field.

It was another match that started with counter wrestling. They put a twist on it by casting Tyson as the cocky veteran who was underestimating his foe. This was best shown when he decked Neville with a big elbow shot and ruffled his hair. They exchanged the advantage throughout the match but they never seemed to quite click with one another. It wasn't a bad match, it's just that they set a relatively sedate pace when you consider they're both known for being fast high-fliers.

Neville's still the champion. The belt's still ugly.

Highlights included a big power bomb by Neville; a Russian leg sweep countered from a second rope springboard by Kidd; Neville suplexing Kidd over the top rope and tumbling over with him; and Neville’s match-winning top rope hurricanrana and Red Arrow. One the subject of ‘The Jumping Geordie’s’ repertoire he could do with adding one or two key or setup moves. That would give fans more to react to beyond his (admittedly impressive) corkscrew shooting star.

Kidd hung around in the ring after the match. When Neville had finished celebrating (after about two minutes) he offered a handshake. Kidd barged passed him and walked out. Perhaps he felt irked that it took the champion so long to acknowledge him. If so that’s understandable. If they do a rematch, and I suspect they will, I hope the pair gel better than they did here.

There wasn’t a single duff performance on the show. The forgettable segments (Rose v Camacho and the Rusev beatdown) were inoffensive and there were two very good matches in Charlotte v Natalya and Zayn v Breeze. The main event was a tad siappointing but it was still a decent match. NXT Takeover is not going to go down as WWE’s finest show of the year but it will go down as an enjoyable one. I think that’s good result.