SmackTalk 20.04.12

I was surprised at how quiet the crowd was on last night’s SmackDown. It was taped on Tuesday, the day after the RAW tapings I attended. The Monday night show attracted a raucous crowd that loudly chanted “Yes!” all evening. The audience the following night barely chanted it at all (even Daniel Bryan didn’t attract it as much as I’d expected) and generally seemed quieter than Monday’s bunch. I feel this is worth pointing out as it may mark the beginning of the end for the “Yes!” chant, which is a great shame.

SmackDown didn’t seem as well rounded as RAW did this week (read my review of that show here). The evening’s lengthiest bout was the six man tag main event which the audience loved but I found hard to get into. There were moments of greatness, with the spirited exchange between Sheamus and Daniel Bryan being particularly good. Overall it seemed like a match thrown together just to get the big names onto the show. Still, at least we didn’t have to watch Khali wrestle.

Daniel Bryan deserves praise for his show-opening in-ring segment. That saw him utilise the “Yes!” catchphrase brilliantly (much as Steve Austin did when he realised the “What?” chants were catching on) and give storyline ex-girlfriend AJ a dressing down. He’s become SmackDown’s MVP over the last month. It’s now impossible to imagine the programme being as enjoyable without him on it.

The other thing that stood out on this week’s show was just how many new wrestlers are now on the blue brand. Damien Sandow appeared in another talking head vignette, complete with deliciously heelish “You’re welcome” signoff, and Ryback continued his run of squashing random nobodies while some wrestlers watched on a backstage monitor talking amongst themselves.

They were joined by Darren Young and Titus O’Neill, two former NXT talents. They’ve formed a heel tag team and talked about how they were going to become a top team in the company during a backstage segment. Michael Cole echoed their sentiments when they were in the ring. They will not get over as a unit. Both men are too bland and nondescript to make enough of an impact. That’s not to say they’re not a top team in the company though: merely by pairing up they have accomplished that task. Yes, the WWE tag division is that shallow.

I originally thought Titus O’Neill, if protected by the booking team and given the right opponents, could get over as a mid-level babyface. I no longer think that: he has made no progress during his lengthy stint on NXT and as such would be unlikely to improve during a sustained babyface push in which he was protected. WWE would be best off firing the pair of them.

The other new name on SmackDown was Antonio Cesaro, formerly the independent scene’s Claudio Castagnoli (and yes that is his real name!). Antonio appeared in a backstage segment with Aksana, Teddy Long and John Laurinaitis, in which he was presented as an acquaintance and possible boyfriend of Aksana. He teased Teddy Long before being invited into Laurinaitis’s office. That was the second time in as many days Laurinaitis had been behind closed doors with a female member of the roster and another guy. I will once again refrain from making a comment.

Get used to this guy. You're going to be seeing a lot of him

For those unfamiliar with Antonio Cesaro you’re in for a treat. He has the sort of physique that Vince McMahon loves but he can actually wrestle too (which is rare for guys with impressive builds). He is capable of working everything from a hard-hitting style to a comedy match so I have no doubt that he’ll excel at WWE’s preferred sports entertainment approach. He’s also fluent in several languages, which should guarantee him a decent spot whenever WWE puts a European tour together.

While RAW may have been the more entertaining show this week SmackDown did a better job of preparing WWE for the future. That’s something that should have been happening for a long time. Still, better late than never. It’s nice that WWE finally has the process underway.

Daniel Bryan promo, featuring AJ

Tweet 1: It’s SmackDown time!

Tweet 2: Mark Henry is now shown flexing on the SmackDown intro. He got blown up from that.
Tweet 3: Daniel Bryan! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!
Tweet 4: I'm pleased a mention of the eighteen second match drew boos.
Tweet 5: I predict Bryan will get cheered in Chicago.
Tweet 6: #Yesfest
Tweet 7: AJ gets booed. Good.
Tweet 8: "AJ. Stop. Turn around. And go away" - Daniel Bryan
Tweet 9: Bryan's giving a great heel promo. The crowd seems a little flat.
Tweet 10: I miss the days of Bryan telling Samoa Joe to eat raw fish and carry coconuts to the ring with him. That's REAL heel heat.

AJ Natalya

Tweet 11: AJ v Natalya. They're going to swerve us with a non-match here...

Tweet 12: What is that cape thing Natalya's wearing? Not very Hart-like.
Tweet 13: Don't pull AJ off of Natty, ref! She has till five!!
Tweet 14: So the storyline is that AJ is having a mental breakdown of some sort? Keeping it light...

Damien Sandow vignette

Tweet 15: Ah, Damien Sandow. This guy is a good promo.

Tweet 16: I don't know about you but I'd enjoy seeing Cena attempt one of Sandow's promos.

Brodus Clay v Hunico

Tweet 17: Hunico... and he's facing Brodus Clay! This should be spectacular...
Tweet 18: "Cameron on the left, Naomi on the right" - Josh Mathews on Brodus Clay's dancers. I wish he'd followed up with "like it matters..."
Tweet 19: I could do without the Hornswoggle appearance.
Tweet 20: Good to know Cole's been doing his "dinosaur research." How about calling a match, idiot?!
Tweet 21: Hunico officially lasted longer against Brodus Clay than Dolph Ziggler did. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Tweet 22: They need to keep pushing Brodus in EXACTLY this fashion, alongside Hornswoggle, for three years. Then have him turn on Hornswoggle.
Tweet 23: Only with a three year build with this be worthwhile.
Tweet 24: Look, I'm a fan of Brodus Clay but how much airtime needs to go to his post-match dance routine? It's not a Joel Gertner segment...

Darren Young, Titus O’Neill and John Laurinaitis taunt Teddy Long in a corridor and Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton

Tweet 25: Nothing gets heels over like backstage taunting of Teddy Long.

Tweet 26: Titus O'Neill and Darren Young will never be over.
Tweet 27: Furthermore Young calling himself 'Mr No Days Off' is laughable: he served a drug suspension a few months ago.
Tweet 28: All Matt Striker ever seems to do on SmackDown is interview Randy Orton. Is that his gimmick? Orton's personal interviewer?
Tweet 29: Kane v Orton in a falls count anywhere match. They should've done a Boiler Room Brawl.

The Usos v Darren Young and Titus O’Neill

Tweet 30: The Usos are on SmackDown. That means WWE's making its annual attempt to make the tag division matter again.

Tweet 31: "These two are going to become prime time players here on Friday Night SmackDown, mark my words" - Cole on Young and O'Neill
Tweet 32: Mark MY words: Cole is wrong.
Tweet 33: Young and O'Neill are on SmackDown while the Kings of Wrestling are being used as singles acts. #thingsthatarewrongwithwrestling
Tweet 34: The guys from NXT get a win. Why Cole's acting as though this is impressive I can't say.

From the Vault

Tweet 35: The streak of great From the Vault matches continues with Shawn Michaels v Rey Mysterio.

Tweet 36: The down side is that we have Grisham and Striker on commentary.
Tweet 37: This is a really good match though I'm concerned it will end on an interference DQ.
Tweet 38: "That is usually the precursor to the sounds of silence: Sweet Chin Music!" Shut up, Striker.
Tweet 39: Rey springboards into Sweet Chin Music. I genuinely think Shelton Benjamin did that spot better.
Tweet 40: Batista causes a disqualification. I'd be annoyed if it hadn't been so predictable.
Tweet 41: Random Undertaker appearance to close the segment. Thankfully they cut away before Striker's gibberish became too much.

Alberto Del Rio v Big Show

Tweet 42: Albertooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Deeel Riiiioooooooooooooooooo!!

Tweet 43: I read earlier that Del Rio has been moved back to the SmackDown roster. That's a good move. He was always used better there.
Tweet 44: Remember when ADR and Big Show had a three-way feud with a car last summer? I wish I didn't...
Tweet 45: "Del Rio is just grinding on this boy" - Booker T with a typically peculiar comment
Tweet 46: I can't wait until Cody gets a new feud. He's wasted on Big Show.

Ryback v Danny Lerman

Tweet 47: Danny Lerman looks about twelve.

Tweet 48: RYBACK!!
Tweet 49: Ryback could very easily sodomise this boy...
Tweet 50: There have been surprisingly few "Yes!" chants so far.
Tweet 51: Ryback wins and then starts up a bizarre one man chant of "Feed... Me... More!"

Teddy Long witnesses the SmackDown debut of Antonio Cesaro

Tweet 52: Another "hilarious" Teddy Long backstage segment. Oh dear...

Tweet 53: Antonio Cesaro!! #veryEuropean #Heeeey

Daniel Bryan, Mark Henry and Cody Rhodes v Sheamus, Randy Orton and Big Show

Tweet 54: Daniel Bryan! Yes! Yes! Yes!

Tweet 55: For the second time this week Mark Henry doesn't get a televised entrance. Poor.
Tweet 56: Sheamus and Randy Orton are introduced before Great Khali. Odd.
Tweet 57: Khali can't even walk convincingly!!
Tweet 58: Cody jumps Khali and the heels pose in the ring. Handicap match? I hope so.
Tweet 59: Khali's torso looks like a burlap sack filled with walnuts.
Tweet 60: The commentary team are currently bickering about whose job it is to call what. As a result nobody is doing their job.
Tweet 61: FINALLY Mark Henry gets into the match.
Tweet 62: I'm looking forward to Orton getting a proper feud again. His current rivalry with Kane is a waste of everyone's time.
Tweet 63: Big Show and Mark Henry clash in a WWE ring AGAIN. I'm so tired of that sight.
Tweet 64: How much time is Mark Henry getting in this match? Too much, perhaps?
Tweet 65: If they're allowed to I think Bryan and Sheamus could have a GREAT match at Extreme Rules.
Tweet 66: Henry was finisher fodder tonight. He was an unstoppable monster eight months ago...
Tweet 67: Sheamus, Show and Orton pose for what seems like half an hour to take us off the air. That's what I tune in for, WWE!

How do you end a wrestling show on a high note? Having all your babyfaces pose in the ring rarely fails

The King is Dead (Well, Not Dead...)

It's nothing short of astonishing that the youth-obsessed WWE hasn't replaced Jerry 'The King' Lawler as their lead colour commentator. He's ten years passed his best behind the announce desk and, thanks to the PG rating WWE currently adheres to, is incapable of playing to his strengths (which mainly consists of him talking about the fleshy parts of women forty years younger than him, so that's sort of a mixed blessing). Nowadays 'The King' appears disinterested in and ignorant of the product he is employed to promote. It's been years since he could effectively at elevating talent with his commentary, which is one of the key aspects of his job.
 
The trouble is that WWE has nobody to replace the decrepit Memphis legend. Their only other commentator of note is Booker T, who's heavily reliant on catchphrases and dangerously unpredictable. What's more, he's still learning his craft. It takes time to learn how to become a wrestling commentator. In truth Booker is decent enough for SmackDown, being a second string show, but he wouldn't cope with the increased pressure of RAW. It probably helps that he can usually be edited on SmackDown whilst RAW airs live.

He's smiling because he's still employed

William Regal has made a very good job of providing colour commentary on NXT and would actually be a better option than Booker for the Monday night gig: he's far less reliant on contrived catchphrases, has a sense of humour, knows how to use the role to elevate talent, and can actually call a wrestling match. Unfortunately I think his English accent and softly spoken approach would preclude him from consideration. It's simply not what WWE wants for the RAW broadcast team.

Matt Striker? No. He doesn’t understand exactly what WWE wants form the role, which is why he rarely makes it off of the purgatory of the company’s weekend shows.
 
WWE management have nobody to blame for this situation but themselves. If they treated their developmental programme seriously they would be preparing people for every role on WWE television. That includes backstage interviews, ring announcers, managers, and, yes, commentators as well as wrestlers. They do not currently place enough emphasis on training anybody but wrestlers in FCW and that needs to change.
 
The promotion is not without options though. There are several wrestlers on the main roster who talk well enough to warrant a chance at commentary on a show like Superstars on NXT. Christian, Wade Barrett and The Miz all have the right mix of verbal dexterity, experience and tenure to make ideal candidates for the role.

WWE should try these guys out for a month each to see if any of them are good enough to continue prepping with an eye to replacing 'The King' a year or so from now. WWE could even use a switch between one of these guys and Lawler to give the veteran the send-off he deserves: a feud over the RAW announcer spot would be a fitting end to his full-time run with the company and allow him to go out in a memorable match.

They could even look outside the company or at their developmental league for a new colour commentator. Steve Corino would be good in the role. If they could get him Paul Heyman would be ideal. Meanwhile FCW has Kassius Ohno (formerly Chris Hero) who could spice up the audible aspect of the WWE product.
 
Ultimately I suspect the company has plans to move CM Punk onto commentary when he's done with his in-ring career. He proved during his stint in late 2010 that he could excel in the role. He not only talked about the storylines he needed to but he got over the talent in the ring and still managed to slip in some in-jokes along the way. When he's ready he'll be superb in the role but (hopefully) that move is still far off. In the meantime WWE need to remove Lawler as soon as possible. He simply can't cut it anymore.

Mere Mortality

Immortal was once a pretty formidable heel stable. When they formed in 2010 members included ‘Hollywood’ Hulk Hogan, Jeff Hardy, Jeff Jarrett and Eric Bischoff. Those are some pretty big names. Just over a year earlier Hardy had been the number one babyface in North America (and arguably the world) in WWE, and upon the group’s formation he won the TNA world title, meaning that the faction had the most prestigious belt in the organisation from the start. Meanwhile Bischoff was (and is) one of the most successful wrestling bookers in the industry’s history and Jarrett brought more credibility as a former WCW and (more significantly) TNA world champion. Hulk Hogan is Hulk Hogan: one of the biggest names the wrestling business will ever know.

Not a bad start for a heel group then.

Based around Hogan’s longstanding ‘Immortal’ moniker it would have been easy for him to become the sole focal point of the gang. Surprisingly he didn’t. Jeff Hardy was allowed to shine as Immortal’s most important member and did some pretty solid work as a heel. Immortal dominated TNA for close to a year before cracks began to appear. Unfortunately they were big cracks.

Back when it was built around Jeff Hardy Immortal wasn't half bad

Security guards had been introduced as Immortal’s personal enforcers. That was as a good way of packing the group’s matches with heat garnering interference. But then someone had the idea of letting the security guys (Gunner and Murphy) start wrestling. That was a poor move. Not because the men couldn’t wrestle but because Immortal was meant to represent the pro wrestling elite. How elite can a group be if security personnel are allowed to become full-fledged members?

Matt Hardy joined TNA and became associated with the group. Then Ric Flair swerve turned on Fourtune and jumped ship to Immortal. It was a blur of nonsense as Immortal began gobbling up anyone in TNA without a storyline. Flair joining was fine: he’s regarded as one of the greatest wrestlers ever. But Matt Hardy? His biggest claim to fame at that point (and now) was his rampant lunacy on YouTube and Twitter. Oh, and being Jeff Hardy’s brother.

What harmed Immortal as an entity more than anything else was Jeff Hardy falling off the wagon in March of last year. He had to be written off of television quickly and sent home to get himself together. It was an embarrassment for TNA and a blow to Immortal. Both lost their biggest star.

With Hardy gone Mr Anderson was hastily added to the faction only to be written out again a few weeks later to advance his lacklustre feud with Bully Ray (and Immortal at large). Since then the group has been treading water, based around Ric Flair (a man in his 60s who wrestles only very occasionally), Eric Bischoff (a man best known for booking WCW in the mid- to late-nineties), and Gunner (a wrestler who has improved a lot since his debut but isn’t exactly a big star). Their chief rival at the moment is Bischoff’s son Garrett who was introduced to TNA as a pro-Immortal referee who has since seen the error of his ways and become a wrestler.

These two men do not epitomize the term "heel stable"

While Bully Ray, one of the best acts TNA currently has, is still technically a member he is barely ever shown with the group these days and is off with storylines of his own. That their most prominent active member is Gunner is not good. The TNA writing team need to accept that Immortal has had its time. The group had a good run but it’s time for a fresh idea and some new heels on top.

The bottom line here is that the group is very much Mortal.

The Abating Storm

At last year's Bound For Glory TNA undid two months of hard work when they had Kurt Angle successfully retain his world championship against Bobby Roode. At last Sunday's Lockdown event they undid six months of hard work when Bobby Roode overcame challenger James Storm. ‘The It Factor’ fluked a victory when ‘The Cowboy’ superkicked him out of the cage (meaning he touched the floor first and thus won the match). It wasn’t decisive but it was a win, and it was at James Storm’s expense.
 
I wrote at the time of BFG that TNA had made a mistake in not putting the title on Roode after they'd built him up in the fashion that they had. I have written it since too. I also said that if TNA did the same with Storm at Lockdown that they would have learned nothing from their mistakes. Roode may have worked out nicely as a headline talent but that's in spite of the delayed title victory he received last October, not because of it. James Storm, much as Roode did at Bound For Glory, needed to win the gold at Lockdown to legitimise him as a main event wrestler and show fans that they were right to believe in him.

Champion grates challenger at Lockdown

Wrestling audiences want to support winners. If someone is built up for a significant title victory for months on end then people are going to expect them to win. Someone who loses too often before they’ve established themselves at the top will find it tough to gain acceptance when a company does finally go all the way with them.
 
Since elevating both Roode and Storm to the main event last October TNA had been booking the two well. Roode was (and is) over as a heel champion who will do anything necessary to keep hold of his title while Storm has done a great job of connecting with fans as a babyface. 'The Cowboy' needed the victory at Lockdown. It was the right time and the right place. If he wins the title at the next pay-per-view or at an IMPACT taping it won't have the same effect as a victory on Sunday would have had. The moment that the promotion spent months building to has now passed.
 
TNA had their chance and they blew it.

That isn't to say that ‘The It Factor’won’t continue to make a good heel champion or that Storm is damaged beyond repair. It does mean that when Storm does finally become a two time champ he'll find it that little bit more difficult to gain acceptance. It also means TNA denied fans at Lockdown a memorable moment. But that's nothing new: the current creative team have little else for the past two years.

That RAW Recap 16.04.12

Over the years I’ve been to quite a few wrestling shows. I’ve been to events held by various British indies. I was there for ROH’s first (joint) show in the UK. I saw CM Punk and Colt Cabana’s first match outside of the United States. I’ve been to a SmackDown taping and a RAW house show. I was even at the London Arena in November 2000 when WCW filmed Nitro (that was an interesting experience). But it wasn’t until last night (alongside friend and former colleague Dan Pryce) that I was able to say I’d seen Monday Night RAW filmed live.

I’m happy to say that the RAW taping was the best WWE show I’ve ever been to. The crowd was lively from start to finish and we got to see every big name you could realistically hope for. There was no Brock Lesnar but he was never going to be there. I was happy with the names on offer.

The seats we had were close to the entrance, which was good, but slightly behind the Titantron, which was bad. We got a pretty good view of wrestlers as they entered but couldn’t see anything that happened on the big screen. Thankfully it was a vignette-light episode so the lack of ‘tron view wasn’t as catastrophic as it could have been.

We were close to the exit at the side of the stage, which meant we could occasionally catch glimpses inside the Gorilla Position and cheer (or boo) some of the wrestlers as they left. The very first wrestler I saw was thanks to those seats: Damien Sandow came to sneak a peek at the set and the crowd. That would be the only time we’d see him: he didn’t wrestle or appear in other capacity.

The opening match was announced as being for Superstars but as the commentary team were introduced directly after its conclusion I’m not convinced that was right. It saw Dean Ambrose defeat Alex Riley with a cheeky rollup. Most fans chanted “Who are ya?” at the developmental talent. As I recognised him and prefer him to the nondescript A-Ry I cheered him. Cheering heels would be a theme of the evening.

Match two was a lengthy-by-current-standards Divas contest. Kelly Kelly entered first to an almost Cena-like mixed reaction. Kids and their parents cheered her. Everyone else seemed keener on Eve Torres. I was firmly in the Eve camp. She got the surprise win. By WWE standards it was a good women’s match.

That was followed by Jack Swagger losing to R-Truth. Truth got a good reaction but couldn’t hold onto the crowd for the whole match: a few minutes in “Let’s go Swagger!” chants started up.

Lillian Garcia was out next to sing God Save The Queen. It’s nice that WWE goes to the trouble of having our national anthem sung but it’s not in the nature of the British to go wild for it. That’s more of an American thing. As such Lillian got booed for most of her performance, the crowd only relenting at the end to cheer and clap her. Hopefully she understood it wasn’t anything personal.

Mark Henry lolloped to the ring before RAW officially started. That saved valuable airtime: the guy does not walk quickly. The main show kicked off with the advertised WWE title match between Henry and champion CM Punk. ‘The Second City Saint’ got a great reaction and somehow managed to drag ‘The World’s Sweatiest Man’ to a bearable outing. That’s no small feat when you consider how cumbersome and limited Henry truly is.

I thought this was a great match. It was possibly the only contest of the night where I cheered the face and booed the heel. There were chants of “CM Punk”, “Sexual Chocolate” and many cries of “Yes!” Punk went over with the Macho Man Elbow, which drew loud cheers from the audience.

CM Punk prepares to drop the match winning Macho Elbow

Jericho then appeared on the Titantron for a lengthy exchange with the champ. We weren’t able to see him from where we were but we could hear him. That was (mostly) enough. ‘Y2J’ again taunted ‘The Voice of the Voiceless’ about being drunk and then introduced some footage. Punk handily referenced the footage so we knew it was a shot of him doing something at a pub. He reaffirmed he’s straight edge and then ‘The Highlight of the Night’ revealed the two will clash for the WWE championship in a Chicago Street Fight at Extreme Rules. That should be one of the better matches on the show.

RAW’s second match was for the United States title. Champion Santino Marella was introduced first. He stood at the top of the ramp peeling off various football shirts to get heat. As I’m not a football fan I wouldn’t have reacted even if I could have seen this display. I wouldn’t have recognised what shirt belonged to what team, and wouldn’t have cared if I had. Having watched the broadcast I now know that one of the kits belonged to Chelsea. Amusingly this prompted Jerry Lawler to say "Come on, Santino, you're in London! That won't work here!" ‘The King’ needs to work on his geography.

David Otunga came out to face him. He got a loud cheer from me. I’m a fan of Otunga, largely because he’s so ridiculous and prone to botching moves. He was on fine form last night, at one point even managing to go for a cover incorrectly. That, as Michael Cole would say, is vintage Otunga. Laurinaitis’s legal aid predictably lost. The match was nowhere near as enjoyable as simply seeing David Otunga.

Backstage Josh Mathews spoke to Lord Tensai and his young boy. A kid sat in front of me said to his friend “We’re going to see Lord Tensai. He’s funny.” That should tell you all you need to know about whether the former A-Train is over as a monster heel.

A Lesnar video aired. It lost a surprising amount of impact without being able to see the accompanying footage. The message was basically that ‘The Pain’ sees himself as an athlete and an ass-kicker, not a superstar. He didn’t come back because he missed the crowd or going through the curtain. He came back because he likes to beat people up and win. He also said had he stayed around Cena wouldn’t be where he is now. I’d disagree with that. Cena still would’ve gotten over and Lesnar would have remained at the top of the card but fizzled out a little. His initial success was as much thanks to willing opponents and the good booking of Paul Heyman and Vince McMahon as it was his own ability.

Kane came out to squash Ryder. Amusingly he stood in the ring for around three minutes as his attacks on Ryder and Randy Orton were recapped. He then slapped Ryder about at ringside and then gave him a choke slam in the ring. That was followed by a tedious promo that I’ve sat through twice but still couldn’t tell you the point of.

Woo woo woo! You got beat!

Backstage Kofi Kingston was talking to AJ in hushed tones. I like to think he was saying something vastly inappropriate. Daniel Bryan showed up. I couldn’t see any of this but I knew immediately that Bryan was on the screen because the audience erupted with chants of “Yes!” Bryan told Kofi that just because he didn’t want AJ that didn’t make it open season, then told AJ that he would make ‘The Dreadlocked Dynamo’ tap out to the LeBell Lock. He stopped himself there and said that he didn’t like the move having that name as he was far greater than Jean LeBell. He said the move would be known as the Yes Lock, then shouted “Yes!” over and over again directly into Kofi’s face. It was hilarious.

That was followed by a John Cena promo. The face of the company received his traditional mixed reaction, though there were more boos than cheers. Cena is not a popular man in London. He talked about how he thinks John Laurinaitis wants to replace him with Brock Lesnar. Storyline-wise that’s probably the case: ‘Mr Excitement’ is a heel and so naturally wants to dispatch all top babyfaces. That’s how WWE works. The truth is that Cena is not going anywhere. He’s far too valuable to WWE and everybody knows it.

John Laurinatis strolled out onto the stage to refute Cena’s conspiracy theory claims and book him in a match. We were told it would be an Extreme Rules match but wouldn’t reveal the name of Cena’s opponent. Why? Apparently it’s something to do with People Power. Whatever. I was just excited to see John Laurinaitis and hear his raspy voice. Unfortunately his mic work left a little to be desired live and it was difficult to hear what he was saying. Thankfully Cena recapped it during the break. He earned some humour points there.

Next was the best match of the evening: Kofi Kingston v Daniel Bryan. There was no way we were going to boo Bryan during this. The “Yes!” meme is just too over and Bryan is too well respected. Kofi started off getting a good reaction but eventually ended up hearing boos… as well as shouts of “No!” when he started getting offence. Pretty much strike the former World champion got in elicited cries of “Yes!” Following his win via the Yes Lock Bryan reapplied the hold (which finally got him some boos) until Sheamus ran out to make the save.

Daniel Bryan! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!

I think WWE are going to have to seriously consider turning Bryan face again. He’s very good in the heel role but he’s just so popular that it’s going to be hard for him to stay over as a bad guy. Once his run with Sheamus is over I hope he becomes a good guy again. A feud between he and a heel Christian would be great to see.

‘The Funkasurus’ continued his run of unmitigated popularity, getting a big pop from the London crowd. He was one of the highlights of the night for me, up there with Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and David Otunga. As much as I enjoyed seeing Brodus Clay I was even more excited to see Dolph Ziggler, his opponent for the evening.

It would be generous to refer to what happened between Ziggler and Clay as a match. ‘The Show Off’ took a suplex before Swagger got into the ring and took a headbutt. Ziggler then took one of his trademark ridiculous bumps to a loud pop and Vickie got into the ring to be shoved to the floor by Naomi. Brodus and his girls then posed and danced as the heels slinked off to the back.

Backstage John Laurinaitis gave David Otunga a pep talk about focusing on his career. Eve showed up and the three went into what was presumably Laurinaitis’s office. No comment.

A video for Chief Jay Strongbow was followed by more backstage shenanigans with R-Truth and Teddy Long. These videos had been played throughout the night. Having seen them I can honestly say they wouldn’t have added to my enjoyment of the show at all.

The penultimate match of the night saw Big Show team up with The Great Khali to take on Epico and Primo. Why the tag champions were chosen for job duty is a mystery. Show has been feuding with Cody Rhodes and Khali been involved in a SmackDown pseudo-rivalry with Drew McIntyre. Why those more prominent heels didn’t get to face Khali and Show I can’t say. Still, at least we got to see Rosa Mendes. That’s never a bad thing.

The heels tried to escape but were caught by Big Show. They then took a choke slam and a Punjabi Plunge back in the ring. Show and Khali then did some embarrassing dancing. Something I didn’t realise was that Abraham Washington was stood at the entrance during the match. I like the way WWE are using him so far and I hope he gets to become a prominent manager. Next time I’ll buy better seats so I can see random FCW call-ups when they stroll out to watch matches.

After the final break of the evening John Cena came back out for his Extreme Rules match. He got a few more cheers on his second appearance. Perhaps because people knew he wouldn’t be talking. I still booed him.

His mystery opponent was introduced by John Laurinaitis and David Otunga (who sat at ringside during the bout). It was Lord Tensai. On commentary Lawler referenced the man’s previous time with WWE and subsequent success in Japan. I was disappointed that there was no back hair to chant about but the loud chants of “Albert!” made up for it.

The crowd was indifferent to Tensai's pre-match disrobing ceremony

Before that match I’d be fairly disinterested in the former A-Train. It seemed as though he was yet another guy being introduced to television with the winning streak gimmick. You can only see that so many times before it becomes boring. That he got to face Cena on his third week of TV is a positive sign for Tensai. The match was a slow starter but when it got going it was pretty enjoyable. The two men brawled around ringside, with Tensai taking a shot from the steel steps particularly well, before heading back into the ring. Otunga involved himself, tossing SuperCena back into the ring to take Tensai’s double underhook facebuster for a two count.

They battled back and forth for a few more minutes before Otunga interjected himself again. He took an AA, which allowed Tensai to catch Cena by surprise with a green mist and double-handed choke bomb for the win. I’d taken it for granted that Cena would be victorious so I was pleased that Tensai went over. Technically it was a clean win too, as the Extreme Rules meant that the mist was not illegal.

After the match Tensai posed in the ring and Cena oversold in a corner. Once the cameras stopped rolling the various heels sauntered to the back while medical staff assisted Cena up the aisle. That Cena sold the mist so much was ridiculous. It may get it over as a dangerous “move” but it only highlights the fact that Cena never sells for younger stars, only for established guys (and Tensai’s former time with the company puts him firmly into the latter camp).

The dark match main event saw Chris Jericho (who didn’t appear in the ring during RAW) take on CM Punk. The champion attacked the challenger before the bell and they had a brief exchange in the ring before Daniel Bryan dashed out to cause the disqualification finish. That brought out Sheamus to even the odds. He was followed by Cody Rhodes, who was followed by Big Show. They were then joined by Alberto Del Rio and Randy Orton. Orton and Sheamus hit their finishers then went round ringside high-fiving fans to send us home happy.

Chris Jericho enters for his dark match main event. He was not the highlight of the night...

Not only was this a good episode of RAW it was a great experience live. It narrowly pips the SmackDown taping I went to last year as the most enjoyable WWE event I’ve attended (and the SmackDown event was only in the running as I got to see a Five Second Pose from Edge and Christian). I’d recommend going to see RAW whenever it’s in the area. The list of names on offer makes it well worth it.