Rey Mysterio's Long Awaited Release

After months of negotiation Rey Mysterio is finally a free man. On February 26  his contract with WWE expired and his profile was moved to the alumni section of the company website. Breaking from the norm no announcement was made by WWE regarding the news, though they did confirm the departure when contacted, by  variety of websites, for comment.

Say goodbye to those merch sales, mate.

The release is something Mysterio has wanted for a long time. He's spent much of the last four years sidelined with major, minor and nagging injuries. Two hour reign as WWE champion on July 25 2011 aside Mysterio has mostly been used as a bit part player when he has been available. Not that the promotion can be faulted for this: Mysterio had become so unreliable that they couldn't afford to risk starting a hefty push with him for fear that he'd be struck with another injury, necessitating his disappearance from TV again.

You can also see why it would have been frustrating for Rey Rey too. Being given the company's top title for two hours just to further a storyline about someone kayfabe quitting can't be particularly rewarding. Neither can teaming with botch monkey Sin Cara Uno, feuding endlessly with Alberto Del Rio, or being slung into Royal Rumbles to little fanfare despite being an established headline player. These things and more are what Mysterio was given by the creative department over the last four years.

As frustrating as it must have been I still think Mysterio would have been best served by returning to WWE for one final run culminating in an official retirement match. His work in the 90's and during his first few years with WWE was top notch. Even after the injuries started racking up in the mid-00's Mysterio was still a reliable performer who remained over with fans.

In 2015 Mysterio's body has taken a battering and is held together more through medical science than anything else. He cannot perform at the level he is most fondly remembered for and as he wasn't savvy enough to introduce ground-based, easier-to-perform moves while he could still blend them in with his more flashy repertoire he's now in a position where he's going to disappoint people more than please them by getting back into the ring, simply because he's not able to do the high-flying he once did. His existing work is strong enough to ensure his legacy survives no matter how bad things get for him but there's no sense putting on shoddy performances if it can be avoided. And this case it can most certainly can be avoided: after over a decade as WWE's top Hispanic star Mysterio doesn't need to worry about money.

Looking rather Rey Mysterio-like, it's Fenix!

But for whatever reason Mysterio had his heart set on a WWE release and a move to AAA and Lucha Underground. Perhaps I'll be proved wrong and Mysterio will display his old magic touch in these promotions. Whether that's the case or not it will at least be interesting to see him opposite his old pals Johnny Mundo and Alberto El Patron in a new environment. The prospect of seeing him face off with Fenix and Prince Puma is pretty enticing too. Though the less said about the prospect of another addition to the Mysterio versus Chavo Guerrero series the better.

A Mysterio run in Ring of Honor could be entertaining too, again under the proviso that he doesn't prove to be completely washed up. Considering Alberto El Patron's dual deal with Lucha Underground and ROH this isn't too farfetched a thought either. Matches opposite Jay Briscoe, Adam Cole, Cedric Alexander, AJ Styles, Michael Elgin and Roderick Strong would all have potential to be great, while Mysterio v ACH could be a modern company classic if Mysterio were on form.

His departure from WWE was not the ideal thing for Mysterio, whether he knows it yet or not. But it's done now. While I don't have the highest of hopes for his in-ring career away from the known and safe surroundings of WWE there is potential in it. Hopefully we'll see that potential realised, rather than witnessing Mysterio become an addition to the list of guys who didn't know when to call it quits. Because ultimately I like Rey Mysterio and I don't want to see him Ric Flair himself.

Vengeance 2006 review

The trouble with wrestling shows nowadays is that out and out stinkers are so rare. Most current shows from any company not named TNA are either acceptable with few or no standout performances or very good affairs with a number of memorable matches and storyline developments. And sometimes, when writing about a wrestling show, you don’t want that. You want something that pushes you to the limits of endurance and shows you just how bad wrestling can get.

There are two answers to this. The first is to review TNA shows. I imagine that in years to come a lot of people will enjoy looking back and analysing the nonsense TNA currently puts out. But to do it as the company’s still in existence isn’t something I want to do. Because it’s depressing that a major company can exist and be as poor as TNA in 2014. Not paying much attention to it is about the only defence I have against it.

The other answer is to look back at old shows that are notoriously bad. I decided to go for this one, but I wanted to watch something and be surprised by the matches that were taking place and the results that cropped up in them. That could have made picking something pretty tricky, because can you can’t gauge a show’s likely quality until you know what’s on it.

Thankfully WWE produced a lengthy run of dismal pay-per-views in the mid-00s. You can pick out pretty much anything at random from around 2003 until 2008 or so and be pretty much guaranteed a rock solid unenjoyable experience.

That’s what I decided to do, and I selected Vengeance. For no other reason that it was readily available to watch. It will differ from my reviews of current events only slightly, in that I’ll take a break after each match to discuss where the guys involved are now. So, let’s get to it.

We start, as always, with a video package. This one focused on John Cena's problems with the concept of ECW, Rob Van Dam's feud with Edge, and DX's war with Vince McMahon and his troupe of male cheerleaders. I'll discuss all of that as we get to it. All you need to know here is that in June 2006 Rob Van Dam was the WWE champion, Edge was coming into his own as a dickish heel who would do anything to stay on top, John Cena had been the most pushed top act for over a year and resentment over that was beginning to bubble away with more vocal crowds, and Triple H and Shawn Michaels were frequently involved in "hilarious" skits featuring spray paint, slime, midgets, bare buttocks, and Jonathan Coachman.

On commentary in Charlotte, North Carolina were Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Immediately noticeable is how JR can make a show prominently featuring the Spirit Squad seem exciting.

The first guy to enter the arena was a pre-sleeves Randy Orton with his old Burn in My Light music and gold curtain pyro entrance pose. Fans of his in-ring turnbuckle pose needn't worry. That was an integral part of his act by this point. He was representing RAW against ECW's Kurt Angle. This was during the period where Angle's music was remixed so people didn't get the chance to chant "You suck!" (although they still gave it a shot). I thought that was a stupid decision at the time and I still think so now. That kind of audience chant should be embraced.

This makes the match look far more lively than it was.

At this point you're probably thinking "Wow! Angle versus Orton opening a pay-per-view, that's pretty promising!" And you're not wrong. It should be incredible. But it wasn't. It quickly became obvious that both men had entered the match as heels and neither seemed particularly liked by the fans. That meant that the match took a while to warm up, something not helped by a focus on slow mat wrestling for the first few minutes. With nobody knowing who to cheer for and neither wrestler willing to embrace the good guy role the match didn't come anywhere close to meeting its potential. I'm not especially knowledgeable about Orton v Angle matches but I wouldn't be surprised if this was their worst encounter. And just to top things off Lawler seemed dead set on making anti-ECW gags every thirty seconds.

Despite all of this the crowd were loud throughout the entire thing. And things came together for the closing sequence, which helped. Orton was trapped in an ankle lock for a bit before reversing out of it, driving Kurt into an exposed turnbuckle (ah, the exposed turnbuckle, it's a classic) and giving him an RKO for the win.

***

What they did next:

Randy Orton: He’s been up and down the card but he’s never been too far away from the top. Other than a few tattoos, taunt variations, and entrance rejigs Orton has remained unchanged.

Kurt Angle: 2006 is the year Angle went spectacularly off the rails. WWE released him on August 2006 because they were concerned over his physical well-being and didn’t think Angle was willing to take things easy for his own safety. Angle has claimed he asked for a release because he was unwilling to work hurt. So both sides agree on the reason, just not on the topic of whether Kurt jumped or was pushed.

We all know the basic Angle story from there. He joined TNA and immediately had a stellar feud with Samoa Joe. He spent several years flipping between good guy and bad guy as his body continued to deteriorate. Like, really badly deteriorate. To the point where he looked like a frail old man. He’s currently making noises about leaving TNA when his contract expires and returning to WWE for one final, glorious run. It’s currently unknown whether or not WWE would have any interest in him as a performer.

***

Backstage Vince McMahon was having one of those one-sided recap conversations that used to be so popular with WWE heels (and that have recently started to go out of style with behind the times TNA heels). He was telling someone about how the Spirit Squad would never forget DX dumping green slime on them on RAW. I'd like to imagine it was Linda and that it's how she and Vince communicate. Someone knocked on the door so Vince wrapped up his convo. You'd assume the person knocking would be a wrestler. Perhaps the Spirit Squad seeking advice before their match or a mid-carder like Charlie Haas asking for an ill-defined "opportunity". Or maybe DX, come to play more "hilarious" pranks on the boss.

It was none of them. It was a young lad in a wheelchair. Vince assumed it was a DX prank and referenced some of their comedy gold (including roosters, space aliens and corporate genitalia). Then he got angry and heeled the kid out of his office. A crash was heard, the implication being the kid was harmed. He wouldn't appear on the show again so we'll never know his fate.

Coach wandered in to make a poor segment worse. In 2006 Coach was regularly paired up with Vince for comedy segments like this one. Despite being routinely bad they held a certain appeal thanks to Coach's willingness to do and say pretty much anything and Vince's ability to perform funny facial expressions. Here Coach handed over a penis pump he'd found lying outside and revealed that the young kid in the wheelchair was a close family friend he'd invited to the show who considered Vince his idol. Sadly they didn't explain why a kid of about eight considered Vince McMahon his idol. That could have been excellent.

Match two featured another surprise mid-00s highlight: the combo of Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada. Umaga, a savage-inspired character who could only be controlled by Estrada, had debuted a few months earlier. The man behind the gimmick had previously been best known as Jamal, half of the sloppy but still underrated 3 Minute Warning tag team. He'd mostly been winning squash matches until this point. It was the Alexander Rusev push for 2006.

Umaga was facing Eugene. That's not a sentence anyone ever wants to read. Ever. Under any circumstances.

The monster that is Eugene, finally slain.

Because Umaga was unstoppable at this point and Eugene, well, was not unstoppable, Eugene had found himself some backup. While that was a sound idea all he'd been able to drum up was Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown (yeah really, Doink the clown in 2006) and Kamala (sadly without Kim Chee or Harvey Wippleman). And then a match happened. It was not pleasant. But it was quick. Umaga squashed Eugene with the Samoan spike (a thumb to the throat which, against all the odds, became an over finish). Just to illustrate how dangerous Umaga was he obliterated Duggan and Doink after the match. Estrada made him walk away from Kamala though. Which was absolutely the right call. A young upstart 33-year-old shouldn't be facing a legend like Kamala unless it's been advertised beforehand. You don't give a quality meeting like that away unannounced.

***

What they did next:

Eugene: By this point the Eugene character was on a downhill slide. As an adult with special needs he had been introduced as the nephew of Eric Bischoff in 2004 and quickly become insanely popular. He’d managed to stay relevant into 2005 but by this point crowds had become tired of him and it’s hard not to see why. He was a one note, exploitative character that had a limited shelf life. His future held an ill-conceived heel turn and contract termination.

Umaga: To this surprise of anyone who remembered his time as a member of 3 Minute Warning Umaga became a very reliable upper mid-card singles act. His undefeated streak would continue until the end of the year, at which point he would enter into a feud with Cena, which included a Last Man Standing meeting at the ’07 Royal Rumble which still stands as one of Cena’s greatest matches.

Umaga would also go on to win the Intercontinental championship and enjoy feuds with names such as Jeff Hardy, Batista and Triple H. Not bad for a guy who had been released in 2003 for being involved in a bar fight and generally not being very good. Umaga was granted a contract release in 2008 following a disputed Wellness Policy violation.

He died of a heart attack in December 2009.

***

Backstage Mick Foley spoke to Todd Grisham. This was during Foley’s infamous feud with Ric Flair. Basically, Fley and Flair didn’t like one another. As in they really didn’t like one another and had gotten into screaming matches backstage over things that they’d written about each other in their biographies. Foley had criticised Flair for being a poor boss and booker in WCW. Flair had labelled Foley a “glorified stunt man”, almost certainly as revenge for the cracks Foley had made about him. Both men had large egos and were not willing to back down.

For some reason somebody in WWE thought it would be a good idea to turn the real life hatred into a storyline. It’s a logic that had worked in wrestling many times before (I’ll give the lazy examples of Hart and Michaels’ feud and the fact that Austin and Rock really didn’t like each other when they started working together). The trouble was that Flair and Foley were both physically knackered. They both relied heavily on shortcuts and their opponents making them look good. Plus Foley had turned heel a few months before and had been doing his best work as a face for years at this point. And, y’know, Flair was pretty much one of the most natural heels ever. It was obvious from the start that match quality was going to be poor. Things only got worse when Foley and Flair started cutting insider promos on each other that only people who follow the inner workings of pro wrestling (which is a minority in WWE’s fan base) and things that had happened around a decade earlier. That this got televised shows you what sort of company WWE was during this period. Everything about it was a spectacular mess. But it remains incredibly watchable stuff because of just how low things got.

At Vengeance they were booked in a two-out-of-three falls match because Foley wanted to prove he was a wrestler and not a stunt artiste. Being held in Charlotte meant that Mick was going to definitely be playing the bad guy, a role I’ve already said he was ill-suited for at this point. Because North Carolina is Flair country. Woooooo!

First the factual stuff. Flair won two falls to none. He got the first fall off an inside cradle as Foley went for a figure four. Then Foley got disqualified when he used a trash can (or, if you will, a rubbish bin) while trapped in the hold himself.

Mr Sockoooooo... Nah doesn't work. Sorry.

The match was a mess. The promise that Foley would outwrestle Flair, which had been a significant part of the build-up was gleefully ignored. Which was disappointing because it could have been an interesting story: Foley actually managing to surprise 'Naitch' and push him to his limit, forcing him to pull out every cheat in his arsenal (which in Charlotte would have gotten a great reaction) would have been an interesting story that’s wasn’t (and isn’t) seen much in WWE. It's not actually that surprising though. I’ve already said both guys were passed their respective peaks and incapable of working a match without shortcuts (which here included a special Mr Socko designed to look like Flair). What we got was what both men were capable of in 2006.

Foley smashed 'The Nature Boy' with a barbed wire baseball bat after the decision. Flair bled. A lot. He was helped to the back but didn't really make out he was in any particular pain despite being drenched in his own blood. It came across as Flair wanting to prove he could play the hardcore hero better than Foley.

***

What they did next:

Mick Foley: He jumped to TNA and filled a variety of roles, including on-air authority figure and champion. He returned to WWE when he realised how terrible TNA was. He dressed up as Santa a few Christmases ago and acted as the GM of Saturday Morning Slam before it was unceremoniously cancelled. He spent the rest of his time making special appearances on RAWs and pay-per-views before letting his contract expire, opting not to re-sign because he felt he wasn’t being paid fairly for video game licensing.

Ric Flair: He joined Foley in TNA. He mostly worked as a manager there, representing guys as far apart on the quality scale as Gunner and AJ Styles. He wrestled a few times but the less said about that the better. The most noteworthy part of Flair’s TNA run, at least for the purposes of the show we’re talking about here, was that he resumed his rivalry with Foley. They were getting on better by then but both were older, so the match quality balanced out at around the same level.

Since his return to WWE last year Flair has made various appearances on pay-per-view expert panels, episodes of RAW and at the SummerSlam Axxess event. He was hammered at pretty much all of them. In fact he was so out of control at SummerSlam that Jim Ross was fired for failing to control him (yes, you read that correctly). Oh, and he also pulled the classic Flair trick of burying someone he disliked. In this case it was Daniel Bryan, the day before he was due to defeat John Cena for the WWE championship.

Basically, Ric Flair has continued to be Ric Flair. Woooooooooooo!!

***

This got pay-per-view time.

In the back Maria and Carlito discussed coolness and paradoxes. Then Torrie Wilson showed up in a bikini. Carlito held her puppies as she and Maria went off to rub baby oil on one another, something that was actually shown and given time on a pay-per-view. Carlito provided some commentary on that before his music hit. Things like this used to happen all the time. We didn't even question why Torrie was prepping for a photo shoot in the middle of a pay-per-view. It was a more naive time.

'Caribbean Cool's' match was a triple threat for the Intercontinental championship. His opponents were Johnny Nitro and champ Shelton Benjamin. Carlito was by this point a bland babyface. Nitro was still doing his red carpet entrance with Melina and was just starting out on the cheap heat route of blocking particularly revealing shots of his scantily clad girlfriend. Shelton Benjamin was probably even more bland than Carlito but was trying to hide it by wearing sunglasses and loud shirts to the ring.

What's most striking looking back at this match now is that the three all seemed like they were going to be something significant for WWE at one point or another and yet none of them managed it. They were victims of the mid-00s lax approach to star building. If these guys, as they were back then, debuted in today's system they'd stand a far better chance of being helped to the top, because while the current system is far from perfect it is at least structured to give new guys a chance at getting over. The quality of the match demonstrated they all could have achieved far more during this period had they been allowed to just go to the ring and wrestle their metaphorical socks off more frequently. They put on a great match and the crowd were into it. That sounds like an ideal second tier championship match to me.

Nitro won the championship (his first reign) off a Carlito back cracker on Shelton. The two losers looked upset while Nitro spent an she standing around grinning and posing at the top of the entrance ramp.

***

What they did next:

Shelton Benjamin: Independent circuit, Ring of Honor, and New Japan.

Carlito: Independent circuit and the WWC.

Johnny Nitro: Became John Morrison. Independent circuit, stand-up comedy, film directing, and continued dating Melina (which makes him the winner).

***

Backstage we found the Spirit Squad screaming at one another about destroying DX. Then Vince entered and joined in, because no young pups are out-hollering the boss. The Squad left so Vince had a look at the penis pump box Coach had handed him earlier. In a toile, which was probably for the best. Nobody needs to see that much of Vinnie Mac. An explosion was heard and then he came out with some green paint lightly dabbed on his face.

"That damned DX!" said Vince, like a character from a rubbish 70s sitcom. What would those crazy DX kids do next?!

Out at ringside Jerry Lawler said we'd just witnessed a booby-trapped penis pump. His laughter indicated that this was one of the most spectacular things that had ever happened to him.

A video package reminded us of RVD's Money in the Bank win and cash-in on Cena at the One Night Stand show. Van Dam won that match after interference from Edge. 'The Rated R Superstar' made an appearance on ECW's TV show to say he respected RVD and looked forward to tearing the house down with him. But then he speared him, because mid-00s Edge was full of dick moves like that. He also had boob job Lita at his side. There was a lot to like about him.

Edge cut a pre-match promo about how the Stanley Cup (a hockey award of some prestige) was won for North Carolina by Canadians, comparable to how he'd beaten Cena for 'Mr Monday Night'. Then he claimed he'd win the gold and have a live sex celebration afterwards. RVD didn't get to respond, but he was introduced simply as "the champion" by Lilian Garcia, which was something.

A rare excuse to put up a picture of RVD as WWE champion.

This match is not as well remembered as it deserves because of the reasons Van Dam would end up losing the title. It's famous for the reason why he lost it. A few weeks after the match RVD would test positive for a substance banned by WWE's Wellness Policy. If you're familiar with Van Dam's past you can probably hazard a guess as to what that substance was. That violation meant Rob had to be written off TV for thirty days. His reign as a double champion was cut short. The decision was made that he'd lose the WWE belt to Edge on the July 3 RAW. The next night he dropped the ECW strap to Big Show.

But we're concerned with Vengeance. The match the two men had here was excellent and showed that Edge had been sincere when he'd said he wanted to steal the show. They packed an incredible amount into their eighteen minutes: tonnes of counter wrestling, plenty of moonsaults, and a satisfying number of big bump spots. Particularly impressive moments included a sunset bomb to the floor from Edge to Van Dam, a cross body over the top rope down to the floor from RVD, an Edge power bomb onto the crowd barrier, and Edge countering the tumbling senton into a power slam. Plus all the usual spots you'd get from both, which is a fair few. The match stands as an example of why RVD originally became popular and why Edge made it as far as he did. Van Dam won a cracker of a match with the Five Star frog splash. Edge had speared a chair and knocked himself out seconds before.

***

What they did next:

Rob Van Dam: RVD was another guy who made a jump over to TNA. He was booked fairly well for a year or two, capturing the TNA world championship in decent storyline which quickly became a mess. Inevitably TNA lost interest in him and he drifted down into the mid-card. He left last year, after being given the X Division championship for literally no reason at all, and returned to WWE at Money in the Bank. He’s not done anything major yet and I don’t think he will. But at least he’s getting pay now. That’s nice for him.

Edge: Between 2006 and his unexpected in retirement in 2011 Edge became one of WWE’s premier talents. His list of accomplishments include multiple WWE and World Heavyweight championship reigns, being the de facto lead figure on SmackDown for years on end, and giving Undertaker one of his finest Streak matches ever. 2006 was the breakout year for ‘The Rated R Superstar’ and he would go from strength to strength.

***

Backstage ECW wrestlers such as Roadkill, Stevie Richards and Little Guido celebrated their boy's victory with alternating chants of ECW and RVD. Then Paul Heyman sauntered in and told the locker room that they'd be joined as lumberjacks by some RAW wrestlers. He acknowledged nobody liked the decision but said it was happening anyway. Why, if nobody liked it?

At this point I was beginning to get worried that the show hadn't been as comedically bad as I'd hoped. Then, as if to prove me wrong, Kane's music played. And this wasn't just any Kane match. This was the Kane versus imposter Kane match. This is the sort of storyline that has routinely been thrust at Glenn Jacobs throughout his fifteen plus years as Kane. Basically Kane's gimmick had by this point become that anything too lunatic to be done to the Undertaker could be done to him. At this point that list included the famed Katie Vick necrophilia angle, a feud with Matt Hardy over who to marry Lita, and a feud with Snitsky over an aborted child .

The match was not a pleasant experience, for a number of reasons. Drew Hankinson, the man now known as Doc Gallows in New Japan, was not very good at this point. Neither was Kane, although he was at least a known quantity audiences were willing to react to. The biggest problem was that fans were not interested in the Kane v Kane angle, amusing themselves with chants of "Boring!" and "Take the mask off!" instead of reacting to things as WWE wanted. It's hard to blame them. It was never clear what Fake Kane wanted, what Real Kane stood to lose, why anyone should care who won and who lost, or where the story was heading. As it turned out the fake won with a choke slam and the cover Real Kane used to do after performing a Tombstone.

***

What they did next:

Real Kane: Any insane wrestling idea you can think of. And a bunch you can’t.

Fake Kane: Became Festus, then Luke Gallows, then DOC, then Doc Gallows.

***

At this point you might be wondering what the official theme song of Vengeance 2006 was. Well I'll tell you, because it was plugged at this point of the show. It was Victim by Eighteen Visions. Jerry Lawlerp loved it, so you know it was good.

The Cena v Sabu video package reminded us of Cena's hard night at the second One Night Stand event and subsequent feud with ECW at large. That's a feud, just so you know, that included Cena decking Heyman, wrestling a match on RAW with Balls Mahoney and getting put through the announce desk by Sabu. There were loads of shots of all the ECW guys hanging around together during the video. That included Tommy Dreamer and Sandman: who had once had a lengthy feud that included Sandman pretending he was blind so that he could attack Dreamer with a cane. But they're BFFs now LOL!

JR put over how tough and dangerous Sabu is not by pointing out the scars that crisscross his body or discussing the ridiculous death matches he'd been a part of but by saying he "allegedly" glued his wounds up after matches. It didn't destroy the myth of Sabu or anything as melodramatic as that but it didn't do the match any favours. Most people watching wouldn't have had a clue who Sabu was or why he was a tougher opponent for Cena than, say, Tommy Dreamer. It would've been nice if Ross had done everything he could to put him over as a madman who'd take himself apart in order to beat Cena. But for whatever reason he couldn't be bothered or was directed not to.

The RAW lumberjacks are a fascinating insight into the roster of the time. Names such as Rob Conway, Trevor Murdoch, Garrison Cade and, perhaps the epitome of this era of the WWE mid-card, Gene Snitsky were on offer here. If that doesn't excite you on a so-bad-it's-good level there's something wrong with you.

'The Homicidal, Suicidal and Genocidal Freak'... and Sabu

The setup was a mess. Cena had been booked as a valiant face taking on an entire company. But this was the beginning of fandom's turn on Cena, which meant people had not rallied behind him as fully as expected. Meanwhile ECW, which had a rep as the underdog fed, had been booked as a bunch of heels against Cena but were also being launched as their own show, meaning many of them had also had thoroughly babyface moments. Just to thoroughly confuse things the RAW lumberjacks stationed at ringside by Vince, to even the odds, were all heels (with the possible exception of Charlie Haas). So Cena, who was becoming firmly established as an unbeatable face, was taking on a roster of underdog misfits and was backed up by bad guys. Or, to put it another way, John Cena was working a Sabu style match with Sabu surrounded by a bunch of jobbers.

As wacky stunt matches go it was pretty satisfying. Cena and Sabu lobbed chairs at each other, the triple jump offence got an airing, Cena took some Sandman cane shots, and Sabu was FUed out of the ring through a table. Cena won with the STF as the RAW guys held back the ECW guys. Yeah, Sabu tapped out, something he's known for disliking. JR did at least emphasise the rarity of a Sabu submission. That was something, but it could have meant slightly more if Sabu had been established we the embodiment of insanity before the match began.

Immediately after the match Cena wandered backstage and ran into RVD. They agreed to a title match on RAW. "Pack all you got, bro," were Cena's sage words of advice to Van Dam. He said stuff like that a fair amount back in 2006.

***

What they did next:

John Cena: For better or for worse he is still John Cena.

Sabu: Somehow managed to stay employed by WWE until May 2007, at which point he was released for unspecified reasons. He returned to working to working for smaller promotions and took some bookings in Mexico. The most significant thing I can remember Sabu doing since 2007 is facing Sami Callihan at a Dragon Gate USA (or possibly EVOLVE) show. Although he also made an appearance or two for TNA in 2010.

***

The pre-match video for DX v SS started out with Shawn Michaels' face being rubbed against Vince McMahon's bare backside. That's a fairly accurate snapshot of what RAW had been for a while at this point. Vince wanted to teach Shawn a lesson about not being disrespectful. So he roped in five cheerleaders and Triple H to rough him up. 'The Game' ended up turning face on his allies, refusing to smash his old pal's skull and instead jobbing out the Squad. Tripper was taken apart in a five-on-one handicap match, then Shawn Michaels returned the favour and made the save. The two officially reunited and embarked on a campaign of hilarity the likes of which WWE had never seen before. Everything was covered: Vince loves cocks gags, male stripograms, penis pumps, and graffitied magazine covers, it was all on offer.

Throw your hands up in the air and wave them around like you just don't care!

A five-on-two handicap match was inevitable. It was also a guaranteed way to bury five new talents. Not that the squad gimmick was destined for the top, but it could have been used to launch one or two guys into singles careers and another two into a tag team. But that wasn't a priority. The priority was relaunching DX as a nostalgia brand that could make periodic returns to WWE and bring in some merch sales.

More than any other PPV main event I can remember this one felt like a dark match that goes on after the end of RAW. The DX lads did their pre-match shtick and the audience went crazy for it. Then the Spirits came out to absolutely zero reaction. It should be noted that the Squad held the tag straps at this point. It gives you an idea of what sort of state the roster was in.

Had this been in the middle of the card it probably would have been fine. Completely forgettable, but inoffensive. Exactly what D-Generation X versus the Spirit Squad should be in other words. But it wasn't in the middle of the card it was the main event and as a main event it was not good. The psychology of the match was all off. Instead of worrying about the significant numbers advantage their opponents had Triple H and Michaels larked about and never seemed to be taking things seriously. That that hurt the Spirits' chances for advancement isn't the point. They weren't getting to the top under that gimmick anyway. The problem was that it made it hard to get into the match: if DX weren't taking a five-on-two situation seriously why should we? The finish saw Kenny take a pedigree and nicky take a sweet chin music for a double pin. Several minutes of posing then ensued before the broadcast finished.

***

What they did next

Triple H: Became Vince McMahon 2.0.

Shawn Michaels: Continued to be one of the best wrestlers ever. Then retired before he lost his touch.

This happened for a while.

Kenny: Finished up his feud with DX, returned to developmental and then returned to the main roster as Kenny Dykstra. Everyone thought he would be the member of the Spirit Squad that became a somebody. Everyone was wrong. Dykstra proved to be an athletic dude but didn’t have a good enough understanding of the character work pro wrestlers need to make it to the top to advance beyond the mid-card. He was outshone by…

Nicky: He became a caddy to Kerwin White then disappeared before returning as Dolph Ziggler. Maybe you’ve heard of him?

Mikey: He never received another crack at becoming a somebody in WWE. He was released in 2008. In 2010 he wangled himself a spot in Ring of Honor thanks to the reign of error instigated by Jim Cornette. He held onto his spot until 2013 before getting released. He now works mostly for Ohio Valley Wrestling. Presumably his work is enjoyed there.

Johnny: Um…

Mitch: … I’ve got nothing.

***

Final thoughts:

As mid-00s pay-per-views go this was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, or as bad as I was hoping for. Kane versus Kane and Foley versus Flair were bad but that was about it. The triple threat match and Edge v Van Dam were both great. The main event was more a peculiarity than an out and out failure. The Umaga v Eugene match avoided the bad bin by being about a minute and a half long and having Umaga destroy two other guys afterwards. Vengeance 2006 could have been a far worse affair than it was.

Next time I’ll try a SmackDown show. Those are the real stinkers.

No Mo JoMo?

It’s been over two years since John Morrison last appeared for WWE. He left the company after losing a falls count anywhere match to then-WWE champion The Miz on the November 28 RAW. He stated in interviews at the time that he was going to take time off to let his body rest and heal.

That lasted until February when Morrison, now competing under his real name of John Hennigan, returned to action in (of all places) the Philippines. Since then he’s become a regular for various small scale US promotions, made one or two appearances for Dragon Gate USA and wrestled in several European countries. He’s also pursued acting work and done some stand-up comedy. That he’s still wrestling tells me neither of the new lines of work has proven a lucrative avenue for him. The experience will have helped improve his promo skills though, the one clear weakness in his repertoire.

He’s avoided working for TNA or Ring of Honor or linking himself to a major Japanese company, which indicates that he’s not interested in tying himself to any promotion long term, at least not in a contractual capacity. And that in turn makes it seem as though he’s keeping himself free for a potential return to WWE.

John Morrison as the FWE champion

He’s been missed by WWE in his time away. In his final couple of years with the company Morrison had become someone who was trusted to go out and have an exciting match between the more important talking segments. This may sound flippant but it’s an important role in WWE and not one just anybody can fill. Wrestlers have to have a certain degree of popularity and an ability to work fast, big-bumping matches. Morrison had both.

At age thirty-four there’s no immediate rush for Morrison to return to WWE, but I’d like to see him back in the fold sooner than later. He can only continue with his current style for so long before he needs to start incorporating safer, less “high-risk” moves into his arsenal. He could make a return in, say, a decade and still do that, but the transition would be far trickier then. It’s best for him to return now while he can blend the dazzling offence he’s known for with new moves so the transition is less jarring for viewers.

Also, WWE could do with a man of his ability. They have Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler to fill the slot but neither fits in quite as well as Morrison. Kofi comes across as a career mid-carder and while there’s nothing wrong with that it’s a perception that limits what can be done with him. ‘The Show Off’ is capable of bigger and better things but they’re not going to come his way until he gets to be a bad guy again, and until WWE management change their views on his place in the company.

Morrison would be excellent in the “hour two” role: that is have a exciting match in the hour where the lengthier performances take priority over the talking, which is saved for the first and third hours. He could, with the right support, use it to progress further up the card. Something Daniel Bryan’s ascent has proven is that you don’t have to have loads of time with a microphone to get ahead in WWE. It would be nice if JoMo had the opportunity to do something similar.

I think he’d be the perfect man to help re-establish the Intercontinental championship as the number two belt. With there being only one world championship in WWE now fewer people are going to find themselves with world title reigns on their CVs. Rehabilitating the Intercontinental title would be a good call as it would give the men who are never going to get a world title run something meaningful to wrestle for. Big E is fine as a champion but he isn’t going to have the sorts of matches the IC gold used to be known for. And it seems pretty clear that he’s going to continue up the ranks and get the WWE title at some point.

Morrison’s absence is also denying WWE and its viewers of a different kind of wrestling entrance. That’s an area WWE could really stand to improve in. Morrison’s standard entrance is already established with a slow motion effect and strobe effect but it could be much more. The photographers and the unfurling red carpet that were part of his entrance when he was in MNM could be brought back. He could sign autographs for people with aisle seats. Women could be hired to escort him to the ring. Different girls in every town, like the Godfather’s “ladies” but referred to as JoMo’s friends rather than anything more risqué.

This would not just provide a different kind of entrance but also help set Morrison apart from his peers and mark him out as something special, or at least different, to fans. That’s what viewers want: individuals with clearly defined characters, not people who all talk, act, and look the same. Morrison’s got everything WWE wants. They just need to give him the platform to let him win people over.

Alternate Twilight

It’s not a secret that when Mick Foley went through his first retirement in 2000 he was not in the best of shape. It was a situation that worsened every time he returned to the ring. And he returned to the ring a lot. The most high profile instances were obviously with WWE. Between 2004 and 2007 he wrestled several matches for the promotion, the most notable probably being his street fight encounter with Randy Orton at Backlash ’04 and I Quit match with Ric Flair at SummerSlam ’07.

The latter was a horrible mess of a match. The reason for this stemmed from the real life dislike the two men had for one another, exacerbated by the Vince Russo-esque worked-shoot nature of their feud. Even though they’d both been around long enough to know better they each took statements made in promos (so basically things that were said to advance the story rather than reflect genuine feelings or emotions) personally and so the match was disastrous.

By contrast the street fight was very good. It probably helped that ‘The Hardcore Legend’ was facing a man younger and more athletic than Flair who had been taking better care of himself and was willing to work with Foley to get the match, himself, and Foley, over. While Foley wasn’t a passenger in that match I think Orton, then a hungry ‘Legend Killer’ eager to make a name for himself, did more to make the match memorable than Foley.

Mick’s time in TNA and ROH produced similarly mixed results. A relatively lengthy feud with Samoa Joe took place in Ring of Honor. The original plan was apparently for Foley and Joe to wrestle one another but it didn’t happen because Foley didn’t feel he was in good enough shape to wrestle what would have been a very physical match. It’s almost certainly one of the biggest missed opportunities in ROH history: a match pitting a legendary figure like Foley against then company figurehead Samoa Joe when he was at his peak would have sold a lot of DVDs.

This did not lead anywhere good

Despite being in worse shape than he’d been in when appearing for ROH Foley also wrestled for TNA. Many of his matches were forgettable tag and six man outings with and against the likes of AJ Styles, Sting, Billy ‘Cute Kip’ Gunn, and Devon. Probably the most memorable match of his TNA stint was another encounter with ‘The Nature Boy’. They were getting on better by then so the match flowed a little better, but both were older and in worse shape than during their WWE clash so it was another dud.

What’s frustrating is that after Foley entered semi-retirement in 2000 he appeared for companies other than WWE while they were popular and he retained his characteristic attitude of trying to help and raise the profile of everyone he interacted with. Had he taken better care of himself and focused on keeping his waistline trim (or as close to trim as he ever was) he could have had that ROH match with Samoa Joe and he could have represented himself better in his TNA outings. Perhaps WWE and TNA would have been more inclined to use him for singles matches and we’d have seen him take on guys like John Morrison, AJ Styles and CM Punk in matches worthy of his status.

We’ll never know for sure how different the last decade and a half could have been for Mick Foley. But I think it could have been significantly better. With a bit of work he could have had the final send-off he deserved.

#August1warning: We Were Warned

If you're a loyal TNA fan you may be aware of their latest attempt to grab new viewers. I'm taking of course about their #August1warning videos. They're a series of videos that first appeared last week on the promotion's YouTube accounts.

The videos show a shadowy figure and are of deliberately poor quality, although they’re made in such a way that even the deliberately poor production is a letdown. The figure appears to be bald and is either a man or the most unfortunately masculine woman I've ever come across. Speaking via a voice modulator he has addressed his impending Impact Wrestling appearance (on August 1^st, obvs) and assured us he's a name known to TNA fans.

The videos have succeeded in getting people talking. Whether they'll get people tuning in remains to be seen. I have my doubts but I'd love to be wrong.

Even this moderate success is blunted by TNA's standard issue inefficiency. The videos have had less than a week to take effect. Had they started earlier they could have been seen by more people, which obviously would have increased the chances of higher viewing figures. As it is they've not even been seen on TV.

I understand TNA wanting to present them as real but that shouldn't be done at the cost of potential success. They could have been played on TV with an announcement that management don’t endorse the content, which is what’s happened on YouTube. Even the old “the airwaves were hijacked” routine would have been better than making them online exclusives.

The identity of the silhouette is a genuine mystery, partly because there are no big names unaffiliated with a wrestling company who could realistically be expected to join TNA. The "favourite" seems to be ‘Scrap Iron’ Adam Pearce, in large part because he's bald like the mystery man. Apparently it's occurred to very few people that a voice actor could be providing the voice for the video, and an actor could have been hired (in kayfabe terms) to portray the figure.

You may recall Pearce appeared as a Gut Check contestant a while back. While he failed to get a contract he was written out in such a way as to make a return possible. For various reasons I hope it's not him behind the vids. For one thing he's not a big enough name to qualify as a non-disappointment in the role come the reveal. For another while he's a solid wrestler and a decent enough promo he doesn't possess those undefinable star qualities that make me think he could turn into a reliable headline star. He has a generic, mid-card look and at 35 it's unlikely that he's yet to peak. I wouldn't be averse to TNA bringing him in. I just don't think he's right for this particular route to the roster.

 

TNA's next star?

 

Another name suggested is Low Ki, although he used the name Senshi during his 2011 run in TNA. And WWE fans will know him as Kaval. Personally I feel he's a bigger name than Pearce but he's still not well known enough to justify such a (by TNA standards) much hyped (re)introduction. He could be of great benefit to the X Division but that's a moot point because TNA don't seem to care about that at the moment.

Sticking with bald wrestlers it could be Sonjay Dutt. Alright so he was on Impact last week, but that's not the sort of thing to stop TNA. He's not under contract and nobody's expecting him to be on tonight's show, that's about all the motivation they'd need to put Dutt in this role.

Anyone who thinks it could be Batista is kidding themselves. He's beginning to make headway with his acting career. He wouldn't jeopardise that by flying to a 3,000 seat arena once a fortnight to feud with Bubba Ray Dudley. It's just a completely unrealistic suggestion. If and when he returns to rasslin' it'll be with WWE.

The former MVP is yet another longshot. When he left WWE he negotiated a deal that would allow him to use the MVP name anywhere except TNA. That's reason enough to make me think it’s not going to be him. There are other reasons available too. He's talked publicly about having left WWE on good terms, which indicates that he's got a mid-card spot waiting for him should he want it. Also discussed publicly is his non-wrestling project with a US TV network. Right now the guy doesn't need wrestling. He's achieved his dream of wrestling in Japan and if he wants to return to the business in a meaningful role it will be with WWE.

John Morrison is in pretty much the same position. He seems satisfied working indies, taking minor acting roles and doing a bit of standup comedy. I expect to see him back in WWE at some point, not joining TNA. And on a side note the standup should help to improve Morrison's stilted promo style. That's the one area that's consistently let him down over the years and if he can fix it he could get the WWE success many feel he's entitled to.

A more credible name than the former WWE performers is Tito Ortiz. A former UFC stalwart, Ortiz has recently come out of retirement to sign with Bellator. That's the same Bellator that has contracts with TNA performers King Mo and Rampage Jackson.

Ortiz is one of the bigger names I've mentioned here and strikes me as a very real possibility. He's got the name value and crossover potential TNA seem hell bent on attaining at the moment and could, theoretically, have been in training for a wrestling career for a while now.

Bringing in Ortiz would be a dreadful move. I've noted before that Mo and Rampage are good tools for TNA to tap into the MMA market for new fans. Two MMA guys in a wrestling promotion is ample. It allows for them to do an inter-promotional feud with one another. In an ideal world that would consist of a trio of matches: a straight MMA match (going first to ensure that whoever wins can lose the second match to necessitate a third), a straight wrestling match, and then a gimmick wrestling match.

A third MMA competitor wouldn’t make that scenario impossible but would detract from its unique appeal. It would also take some of the shine away from Mo and Rampage, neither of whom have done anything significant yet. Three MMA guys in one wrestling promotion risks harming the promotion's image. That’s not something TNA should be risking at the best of times.

Of course none of this means TNA aren't bringing Ortiz in. It would be a mistake but at least he has sufficient cache to meet the hype. I'm of the opinion it's either going to be him or Pearce. They strike me as names TNA would want to use, Ortiz because the company seems keen to try to take wrestling in the MMA direction and Pearce because he’s a competent wrestler whose lack of mainstream exposure would ensure at least six months’ worth of fresh matches.

It could be anyone. It could be Jeff Jarrett returning to take back the company he created from ineffective champions and rogue biker gangs. It could be Perry Saturn searching for Moppy. It could be Sean Morley looking for that world title win that eluded him during his porn star days. It could be Monty Brown making the return to wrestling that precisely no one has been crying out for. It could be Briley Pierce looking to outshine his brother. It could be Percy Watson looking to show WWE what they missed out on. It could be the Iron Sheikh looking to humble someone. It could be Shelton Benjamin. It could be Hardcore Holly. It could be Bob Backlund. It could be Viscera. It could be Mideon. It could be Kevin Nash. It could, in the sort of twist found exclusively in wrestling, be Shane McMahon.

There's no way of knowing who’s behind the videos until they’re revealed. Thankfully we’ll be put out of our misery tonight.

The Mid-Card Old Guard

Over the last several months we’ve seen more time devoted to the middle of the card in WWE. This used to be one of the promotion’s most reliable areas but as the number of established headliners has dwindled so has the group’s willingness to dedicate time to anyone not a member of the elite. Which has, of course, only made the situation worse: main event stars aren’t made overnight, a thriving mid-card is key to making the stars of tomorrow.

I’m not sure what it is that’s convinced WWE to change their tack. A strong possibility is Triple H’s ascension to Official Number Two. With ‘The Game’ having gained more clout backstage it’s possible this refocus is down to him. His successful reshuffle of the developmental system certainly hints at his involvement.

It could be that WWE are happy with how CM Punk has progressed over the last year and a half. In June 2011 he was a reliable upper mid-card talent. In January 2013 he is the promotion’s number two (regular) star behind John Cena. That’s a decent leap in an impressive amount of time. It happened because of Punk’s hard work and WWE’s decision to give him the chance to prove he could succeed. Perhaps his rise has made them think about other wrestlers making a similar move up the card.

It could simply be that a breaking point was reached and head honcho Vince McMahon realised he needed to create some new stars before a bad situation becomes worse and that paying attention to the lower reaches of the card was the best way of doing that. Cena and Punk are still on TV every Monday night, and The Rock’s with the company on a part time basis. Best to start building up new stars now while people are still watching rather than waiting until Cena and Punk go part time and ‘The Great One’ leaves for good, further denting the viewing numbers.

Whatever has caused WWE to re-evaluate the way they book their mid-card acts I’m pleased they have. It’s been needed for a long time and is crucial to the future success of the promotion and the business in general.

Current beneficiaries of this reshuffle are Wade Barrett, Antonio Cesaro, Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, and, of course, Ryback. Each man has, to a greater or lesser extent, has found themselves receiving an increased number of high profile matches and opportunities to impress over the last six months.

Until recently Kofi Kingston was on that list too. For whatever reason I don’t think he can be considered a prominent member of the rising star club anymore. Since dropping the Intercontinental championship clean to Barrett at the Boxing Day RAW recording he has failed to gain any meaningful screen time. Based on the last couple of weeks I think ‘The Wildcat’, who had seemed like he was being treated as something special last autumn, is going to be playing a supporting part for the foreseeable future.

He won’t be the only one. WWE are apparently keen on bringing back several career mid-carders from the past to help the current batch of climbers improve and hone their skills. The rehirees apparently won’t be getting strong pushes of their own, they’ll be there to enhance and guide.

As ideas go it’s not a bad one. Rumoured names such as Shelton Benjamin, Carlito, and MVP would all be perfect for the stated role. All of them have strengths that could be transferred to the likes of Ryback. They’d be like a more active, more televisually prominent crew of road agents. With Shelton and Carlito having been spotted in Phoenix over the last few days there’s a strong chance they’ll make their returns as “surprise” entrants in this evening’s Royal Rumble.

 

Judging by his hair Carlito's been sleeping rough since leaving WWE

 

In addition to those three guys it would be nice to see names like John Morrison, Colt Cabana, Brian Kendrick and Paul London considered too. All could help brighten up the middle of the card. If treated right, and if WWE were willing, these men could stumble into pushes of their own too. It’s hard to see how them getting over and making WWE some money would be bad.

Although, of course, it would be. WWE is very particular about who is awarded pushes these days. This initiative seems to be a way of creating a new level of enhancement talent. The planned rehires likely wouldn’t be getting jobbed out every week but equally it doesn’t sound as though they’d be getting serious pushes. Anyone getting over could be seen as not performing the job they were hired to do: namely to help others gets over.

It’s a double edged sword for anyone heading back to WWE to be a part of this plan. They most likely got into wrestling to make it to WWE and become a significant part of the company. Should they quash their own dreams to get a decent paycheque and help other guys who are perhaps more limited surpass them? That sounds like a bitter pill to swallow.

Hopefully the likes of Shelton Benjamin, who currently seems like the frontrunner to head back to WWE having negotiated his way out of his ROH contract, know what they’re in for and are willing to temper their own abilities in order to aid others. If WWE gives the returning men a little leeway to earn higher spots on the roster this could be just what’s needed to reinvigorate the mid-card and create some new stars, whether they’re chosen ones or not.

Rumble Surprise

This time last year I didn't realise how close the Royal Rumble was. It snuck up on me. As WWE's second biggest event of the year and the show that kicks off the build to their biggest (WrestleMania, you may have heard of it) that's a pretty impressive feat. This year I'm prepared and thought I'd post some early thoughts on who could turn up as a "surprise" entrant in the 2013 entry into wrestling’s longest running annual battle royal.
 
One of the top possibilities for a surprise appearance has to be the Undertaker. 'The Phenom' is already under contract to WWE, which makes it easier to negotiate his inclusion. He's also without an obvious opponent for WrestleMania XXIX and a return at the Rumble would be an ideal way to set something up.
 
The last two years have seen 'The Dead Man' tangle with Triple H as part of an ongoing storyline that started with 'Taker facing Shawn Michaels at 'Mania XXV in 2009. He has not needed to participate in the Rumble while feuding with 'The Game'. If he's facing Punk, The Rock, John Cena, Ryback or another member of the regular roster there's no better way to get something started.
 
Another very likely candidate is Brock Lesnar. WWE have reportedly been very careful to retain a number of appearances from the limited dates deal 'The Pain' signed earlier in the year. It's a smart move, allowing them to use Lesnar as a semi-regular on TV in the weeks prior to WrestleMania, helping to keep TV ratings stable and keep interest buzzing regarding the big show.
 
It also means WWE can book him in the Rumble match. Matches against the Undertaker and The Rock have both been rumoured for the former UFC champion. While he could interfere in the WWE title match on behalf of CM Punk to set up a match with 'The Great One' a more traditional Rumble origin seems more likely for a programme with the Undertaker.
 
Of course a Lesnar v Undertaker feud would be big enough in its own right to not require a start at the Rumble. It could be an interesting beginning point though.
 
More of a long shot is Batista. Since leaving WWE in 2010 he's had only a handful of film roles and one shoot fight. A return to the wrestling business seems likely as it's his best chance of making some serious money again. If he does return to wrestling it's almost guaranteed to be for WWE.
 
Batista is a big name who could liven the product up with some star power and fresh matches. That's why WWE would want him back. 'The Animal’ could be well served making a one off appearance. In recent years we’ve seen plenty of established stars return for one night only, and it would help Batista's negotiating position for the future should he get a good reaction from the crowd (which he would).

This guy needs WWE as much as WWE needs him

 
The Hardy brother that everyone wants to see back in WWE, Jeff, will be under contract to TNA until the spring of next year. He's been wary of committing to furthering his relationship with TNA in recent interviews which could indicate he's considering one final big money run in McMahon Land. It won't be a run that starts on January 27^th though.
 
'The Charismatic Enigma's' brother is a more tangible possibility. He's currently working for Ring of Honor but the nature of his deal is unknown. He's confirmed for a TV title match with champion Adam Cole at Final Battle but nothing beyond that is confirmed. There's a chance the former 'Sensei of Mattitude' may be a free agent and eligible to return to WWE for the Rumble.

That's not something I want to see. Matt Hardy has not been worth following since the middle of the last decade. He's beginning to show his age and is only a draw for companies that operate on a smaller scale than WWE. Besides, Jeff was always the good one.

How about John Morrison? He left WWE late last year and has been enjoying the freedom of the indies ever since. He’s expected back in the mainstream at some point and the Rumble would be a nice platform for his return, especially if it were followed up with a meaningful and sustained push.

The same goes for MVP. Since leaving WWE in December 2010 he has mostly worked for New Japan. At first he was granted a premier spot on the card and was the recipient of the newly created IWGP Intercontinental championship. Since losing the belt he has found himself slipping further down the card. It’s possible his thirst for working in Japan will has been quenched and he’s ready to head back to WWE (the only place in North America he is legally allowed to compete as MVP).
 
Finally there's Chris Jericho. At this point I should probably ask if he would even count as a surprise should he show up at the RR. His schedule over the last couple of years has seen him coming and going from the wrestling world as he pursues his dream of becoming a rock star. He was banished from storylines in August after a loss to Dolph Ziggler but nobody expects that to end up his final appearance. He'll be back, and the Rumble seems a likely destination.

In addition to those seven guys there are numerous veterans (or, if you prefer, Legends™) under contract that could be used to get a nostalgia-based pop. Dusty Rhodes, Kevin Nash, DDP, Ron Simmons and Mick Foley would all fit the bill nicely. There’s even the option of bringing back Ric Flair, although that has to be considered pretty unlikely bearing in mind the ongoing legal saga between WWE and TNA centred on the alleged poaching of talent.

If I had to choose one man from this list to appear in the 2013 Royal Rumble it would be Batista. He’s got the best mixture of name value, potential storylines and reason for wanting to return. But it could just as easily be Norman Smiley.

SmackTalk 06.11.12

Birmingham let Britain down on SmackDown. The crowd had been hot all night the previous evening for RAW but at the SmackDown taping they seemed burned out. Reactions were poor, even for guys like William Regal and Wade Barrett. That was disappointing considering that Barrett is local to Birmingham and Regal is supremely popular in Britain.

Speaking of Regal and Barrett, they were on opposing sides of a tag team match. Barrett teamed with World Heavyweight champion Big Show to take on Regal and former World champion Sheamus. The quiet crowd didn’t help this match. Nor did the fact that Regal, who seemed to be more over than ‘The Celtic Warrior’, was required to sell for most of the match before making the hot tag. I can understand the decision but it doesn’t mean I like it.

On the plus side Show helped Barrett look good. He treated him as an equal before, during, and after the match. That sort of unselfish behaviour is normal from Show. Nice that a guy like Barrett got to benefit from it.

I said in last week’s SmackTalk that WWE should be using the programme to give time to guys who don’t  get much exposure. The poor trend continued this week. There was only one other match of note and once again a lack of underutilised stars.

The headline bout (the other match of note) saw Randy Orton defeat Alberto Del Rio in a Falls Count Anywhere match. The story between these two seems to have become that ADR wants the ‘Apex Predator’ moniker for himself. Not only did he say he was ‘The New Apex Predator’ before and during the match but he also stole Orton’s pose (a big deal in the WWE locker room I assume) and attempted to use the draping DDT.

This somehow didn't hurt Orton at all

I really don’t care about their feud. Both men are far too overexposed and as I have written many times this year Del Rio in particularly needs to be given something different to do. Adding Rosa Mendes to his act could help. It would be one step closer to the large entourage I’d like to see him with. As for ‘The Viper’: he needs to go bad.

Intro video

Tweet 1: WWE. Then. Now. Forever. It's SmackDown time!

Tweet 2: Are Orton and Del Rio feuding over the rights to the 'Apex Predator' moniker? If so it's probably WWE's stupidest feud.

Sheamus promo, featuring Michael Cole, Wade Barrett and some shoddy phone footage

Tweet 3: Sheamus and Cole promo? Snore, you say?

Tweet 4: Please don't let Cole join JBL and Mathews on commentary.
Tweet 5: Sheamus and Regal went to a pub to have a good time, eh? Questionable.
Tweet 6: I can pretty much guarantee that if this footage was genuine more people would ask for Regal's autograph than Sheamus's.
Tweet 7: Birmingham is Sheamus turf? I thought he was Irish...
Tweet 8: I'm bored of every WWE main event wrestler except CM Punk and Ryback. That's the state the company is in.
Tweet 9: By the way, Bryan's not a main eventer...
Tweet 10: Barrett should be the face. He's English. The fans seem quite taken with him.
Tweet 11: WWE books all its heels as cowards. Most of its faces are one dimensional catchphrase machines. No wonder the product's in trouble.

Booker T and Wade Barrett backstage

Tweet 12: Is Booker going to make a tag match? He is! It's a SmackDown GM specialty.

WWE Intercontinental championship – Kofi Kingston (c) v The Miz

Tweet 13: Idea for The Miz: wear a flat cap as entrance attire.

Tweet 14: This crowd seems dead. Stop filming in Birmingham.
Tweet 15: Bring back John Morrison and give him a rivalry with Kofi. They could make the mid-card exciting and the IC title mean something.
Tweet 16: Miz worked the leg at Hell in a Cell too. If that had been mentioned during this match I wouldn't mind the repeat.

Miz works the leg. Again

Tweet 17: I thought Kofi would win. I didn't think he'd win with a cross body. I like random finishes like that. Doesn't happen enough in WWE.
Tweet 18: Miz tried to follow the Code of Honor and Kofi dropkicked him. I'm glad the crowd booed that. Poor sport, Kofi.
Tweet 19: It's possible that handshake thing will be the starting point of a double turn for Miz and Kofi. It'd freshen both guys up.
Tweet 20: Not sure about Kofi as a heel though.

Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara v The Prime Time Players

Tweet 21: Mysterio and Sin Cara need a team name.

Tweet 22: Remember the days of Sin Cara Negro and his Lost inspired theme music? #goodtimes
Tweet 23: Rey is a whiney gimp who needs to turn heel on Cara. I reckon it'll happen in time for WrestleMania.
Tweet 24: Josh is getting flustered at the mention of Cole mentoring him. Don't mention Jim Ross whatever you do...
Tweet 25: How is that an upset for the Prime Time Players? They've been teaming for longer than Cara and Rey. They're the more experienced team!

Prime Time Players post-match promo

Tweet 26: Titus is a six foot six, bald, black Bill Alfonso.

Tweet 27: Striker's had his microphone hijacked. As bad as Titus is he's still better than idiot Striker.

Titus doesn't looks very impressed with Striker. Can't say I blame him

Tweet 28: Striker appears to have a 'tache coming in. He looks like Joey Ryan.
Tweet 29: That's Joey Ryan the wrestler, obvs...

Booker T and Teddy Long watch a RAW recap backstage

Tweet 30: Booker and Teddy don't think Vickie has the capability to make a tag match. They clearly don't rate her highly at all.

Tweet 31: Is Booker turning heel on Teddy? THASS RIDICULOUS!!

Sheamus and William Regal v Wade Barrett and Big Show

Tweet 32: The fans seem fairly quiet again. You'd think they'd cheer their hometown boy.

Tweet 33: Largest athlete, fattest athlete, what's the difference?
Tweet 34: #Regalpop
Tweet 35: "Blackpool only about two hundred miles from where we sit tonight in Birmingham" - Josh Mathews, not realising that's a long way in Britain
Tweet 36: I have my fingers crossed for run-ins from Robbie Brookside and Drew McDonald.
Tweet 37: Big Show is very good at working crowds during tag matches, I'll give him that.
Tweet 38: Regal is isolated to set up a hot tag to Sheamus. I think the crowd would be more into Regal coming in a clearing house. But that's just me.
Tweet 39: Regal roaring in pain there. Sounded like he was having nails hammered into him.
Tweet 40: JBL has just said that Regal needs to be at the top of any list of wrestling tough guys. Cue Angle's next Twitter rant.
Tweet 41: "This place just erupted" - JBL, who must have super sensitive hearing
Tweet 42: Not a bad match. I wish Regal had managed some more moves but... meh.

Matt Striker interviews Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 43: Another Striker appearance. Aren't we lucky.

Tweet 44: ADR is giving his standard heelish nonsense. Ricardo is carrying this segment.
Tweet 45: Rosa Mendes randomly showing up there. It's a clear hint at her being paired with ADR. I think that'd be a good move (see here).

Matt Striker interviews Randy Orton

Tweet 46: Striker again! He is all OVER SmackDown tonight.

Tweet 47: Orton seems particularly bored tonight. I don't think he likes going overseas.

Randy Orton entrance

Tweet 48: Orton barely gets a reaction. That proves this crowd is useless. Not that I'm a huge 'Viper' fan. It's that he usually gets massive cheers.

Random Fandango(o) video

Tweet 49: Fandango HAS to be Johnny Curtis. Potentially great gimmick.

Alberto Del Rio v Randy Orton

Tweet 50: Albertoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Delllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Riiiiiiiiiiiiiioooooooo!!

Tweet 51: Ricardo Rodriguez needs to get an RKO here. I bet it would be the highlight of the match.
Tweet 52: I think the key problem Del Rio has as a heel is that that the fans don't particularly want to see him lose.
Tweet 53: Orton v Del Rio in a Fight Without Honor (I need to stop the ROH references...).
Tweet 54: JBL is doing a good job of making this match seem dangerous. It's clearly not but he's doing his part. That's what counts.
Tweet 55: When Del Rio does Orton's pose and breathes heavily it looks like he's miming blowing up a giant balloon.
Tweet 56: Does WWE own the cab that's always parked on the stage when they film RAW and SmackDown here? Seems wasteful if they do.
Tweet 57: ADR with the backstabber. I bet Rosa taught him that. It's all making sense!!
Tweet 58: The crowd aren't horrified, John. They're bored.
Tweet 59: Orton wins via RKO onto steel steps. Naturally because he was performing the move rather than receiving it the steps didn't hurt him.
Tweet 60: They are actually feuding over the 'Apex Predator' moniker. Someone stop the insanity.