The Retirement of 'The Animal'

Dave Bautista. Remember him? He's the guy who left WWE last year to go and be a success in Hollywood based off his role in surprise smash hit Guardians of the Galaxy. He's the man who is arguably a bigger wrestler-turned-actor than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson at this point, because really how many legitimately enjoyable and successful films has Rocky starred in and how many does he have lined up? Big Dave's been cast in a Bond film, that's pretty big business.

But I'm not writing this to directly compare Batista and The Rock. That wouldn't be especially interesting and there would be no purpose to it. The subject here is whether or not we've seen the last of 'The Animal' in a wrestling ring.

"Don't like me? Thumbs down!"

The short, lazy answer is "No." The slightly less short but no less lazy answer is "No, obviously not." The reason for this is that Batista is a pal of Triple H, a guy very high up in the WWE decision-making and creative process. On top of that there's the fact that WWE always enjoys cross-promoting with mainstream stars, and to them there is no star more mainstream than a Hollywood actor. Having one who is known just as well in the wrestling as in the acting world is an added bonus, as is having one who can actually get into the ring and wrestle a match under their own steam without being carried by someone. Which is an ability Batista has¹.

But this doesn't necessarily mean Batsy will wrestle again. There's a difference between making an appearance to promote a movie and maybe Batista bombing a mid-card act and returning to the ring for the sort of short term run we saw last year. The former gets word out about a product that needs promoting whilst actually going on the road to wrestle every night sees guys run the risk of injury, which can hamper the more important (and highly-paid) acting work.

I enjoyed Batista's run last year. The guy's never been great in the ring but 2014 saw him participate in some enjoyable matches, most obviously the triple threat with Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton at WrestleMania and the two Evolution versus Shield bouts at Extreme Rules and Payback. He showed he could contribute to excellent matches if he was booked correctly and his weaknesses were hidden. More importantly he absolutely nailed his role as a man who thinks he's a big shot because he's been in films. He did some career best work once he was allowed to fully embrace his status as a heel. Plus there were the Bluetista and Wave Batista memes, things which will end up, rightly or wrongly (but, y'know, definitely rightly) as highlights of Batista's career.

It's these memes that actually make me think Batista will never return for anything beyond one or two matches at a time. They demonstrate how wrestling fans are willing to turn Batista into a figure of fun and ridicule. The guy doesn't actually need wrestling. He is, as mentioned above, a star and a success without wrestling now, and as such he has no reason to put up with wrestling fans having fun at his expense. It could be argued that that's part of the job of a heel but Batista wasn't actually meant to be a heel last year.

By all accounts Batista signed on for a return on the understanding that he'd win the Royal Rumble and be the fiery babyface to end Randy Orton's world title reign at WrestleMania. I don't imagine he'd be holding a grudge against fans for "costing" him a title reign, but I do think the treatment he received will have made me think a little harder about future returns. Wrestling seems to be something that he still enjoys but it's not something he needs for a living or, for that matter, to get people to go and see the films he's in.

If I had to put money on it I'd say we'll see Batista return and wrestle again. He's been very open about his desire for a WrestleMania retirement match. While he may not get his wish of retiring opposite Triple H I do think he's a big enough and important enough name for WWE to do a retirement match with him on 'The Grandest Stage of Them All'. A full time run seems unlikely though. Batista simply doesn't need it. Which is a shame because 2014 showed that there's plenty of mileage left in Batista's narcissistic egomaniac character yet.

***

¹ Insert your own joke about Batista's ability here.

The Part Time Squad

WWE’s reliance on the stars of the past has been well documented over the last several years. The Rock’s return at WrestleMania XXVII and matches at XXVIII and XXIX drew scorn from some. Triple H and Undertaker taking an annual ‘Mania spot has also failed to go down well with everyone. And guys like Chris Jericho, Batista and Hulk Hogan have also returned in one form or another, to a variety of reactions.

There could be said to be broadly two views on this. The first would be that the returning stars help to attract viewers who wouldn’t otherwise be interested and that their participation helps give the events that extra special feeling they’re meant to have. The second would be that the returnees take away spots from the roster members who work a full schedule and deserve to participate at a show of WrestleMania’s significance.

My view lies somewhere in the middle of the two. The returning stars are necessary for shows like WrestleMania to be distinguishable from the rest of the PPV pack. I don’t think WWE could expect to fill more than one stadium for a ‘Mania using only their current roster, and they’d only manage one because tickets are sold so far in advance. But at the same time I don’t think the list of returning names would need to be as long as it generally gets if WWE did a better job of making guys like Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, Cesaro and Dolph Ziggler seem like they’re genuinely big stars. Part of WrestleMania absolutely should be about celebrating the past and integrating older stars, but it should also be about building for the future.

Something that could be done differently is how the returning names are used. Right now they tend to interact exclusively with one another. Jericho v Fandango and Triple H v Daniel Bryan aside all the names listed above have been involved with other stars from past eras at the last few WrestleManias. An argument could be made for CM Punk being raised up with his matches against The Undertaker and The Rock, but Punk was already pretty close to that level anyway. And, y’know, he lost both matches. By the time he left he was definitely on that level.

I’d be far more interested in a Triple H versus Dean Ambrose match than I would in a Triple H versus The Rock match. The former is a match that could easily take place at WM31, WWE having ample time to prepare it. The latter is a match the men themselves talked about on the SmackDown fifteenth anniversary show and while I don’t think it’s especially likely to happen it’s not an impossibility. That it was brought up on company programming indicates that WWE were interested in seeing how people reacted to talk of the bout.

For whatever reason WWE doesn’t seem interested in pitting the veteran performers against the younger batch of stars. Perhaps they feel the youngsters are beneath the vets. That will cause a problem in years to come if true because sooner or later it will bleed through into the televised product and the current roster could be viewed as second rate in terms of star power.

More likely, given the matchups we’ve had over the last few years, they feel the Dream Match™ route is the best one to take. Their idea of what constitutes such a match can at some times be questionable (Cena versus Rock headlining two ‘Manias in a row f’r’instance) but it’s a solid enough approach. With all of this in mind I thought I’d run through the various part-timers WWE does and could make use of and look at the possible opponents, both part- and full-time, they could be pitted against at the next few ‘Manias.

We’ll start with Mr Hulk Hogan. He’s a pretty big star, right? Well, yes and no. He was undoubtedly wrestling’s biggest star in the 1980s and for much of the 90s, but his status has been somewhat diminished by the likes of Rock, Austin and Cena. His stint in TNA didn’t help him either. That gave anyone who saw it the impression that he’s washed up. He obviously was washed up but that TNA really emphasised it. It wore off what mystique he was still clinging to and he’s only started getting it back since he started the sporadic appearances for WWE.

He says he's got one more leg drop left in him, brothers!

‘The Hulkster’ has dropped a number of unsubtle hints about wanting to wrestle a retirement match for WWE. I suspect there are a number of motives for this. One would be the hefty payday. Another would be the chance to get himself into the spotlight one more time, something he has adored throughout his career. Third would be the opportunity to go out on top. I mean, Hogan clearly hasn’t been on top of wrestling since 19-take-your-pick, but having a retirement match on the upper half, possibly even in the main event, of a ‘Mania card would do a lot to sate his legendary ego.

There’s only one man I think Hogan could or should come back to face. That’s John Cena. The reason is pretty obvious. It would be the biggest current star against one of the biggest stars of the past. They would not have an especially good match but it would be a spectacle, and there’s always a room for spectacle at WrestleMania. Cena’s capable (though he wouldn’t necessarily be willing) of bouncing around to make Hogan look good. Hogan could probably take an AA. It’s the only feasible match should a Hogan comeback occur.

Next is the man who Hogan made his initial ‘Mania comeback against back at X8, The Rock. I’ve already mentioned the tease WWE made of a Rock versus Triple H ‘Mania outing. It would be interesting from a historical point of view because they never wrestled in a singles match at the event, despite having a feud that lasted years and took them both from the mid-card to the main event. While doing the match now would allow them to tick off an accomplishment it wouldn’t live up to their past standards. Between 1998 and 2000 the pair had a number of memorable matches on TV and pay-per-view. They’re older now, and ‘The Great One’ is extra cautious of doing anything that could inflict an injury for fear of losing work in Hollywood, and they wouldn’t be able to match their previous high standards. It’s a match best left in the past.

Rock versus Brock Lesnar has a certain appeal to it: the Hollywood A-lister facing the former UFC champion. It’s the sort of thing WrestleMania has always been built around: mainstream, outside-wrestling appeal. But it’s unlikely to happen with Lesnar’s status as champ as it would need to be for the title and I don’t think either would be back before SummerSlam. Rock’s health and safety gimmick would probably make this match a no, too.

Rock versus Rusev is a potential match after their surprise interaction on the October 6 RAW. I think it could be a very good match. Rusev’s selling and psychology are good and constantly improving and he’s got a convincing, and over, set of moves. It would make sense to promote this match and there’s a reason for it happening. But I don’t think WWE will do it. The most I think we can expect is a second meeting on TV which ends with Rusev looking strong. That would help him, but not as much as a WrestleMania victory in an official match would.

Other than ‘The Bulgarian Brute’ no characters from the main roster jump out as a particularly good match for Rock. I think Cesaro would be a particularly nice fit match-wise, but not enough time has been invested in his character to make it seem a realistic possibility. Meanwhile I think there’s a natural story to be told between Rock and Roman Reigns, not least because they’re cousins, but the in-ring action would let them down. Reigns is not yet experienced enough as a singles wrestler to make this bout work. But if Rock’s still around for WrestleMania 33 in 2017 it might be a good idea.

Going back to Brock Lesnar there are a surprising number of options. Roman Reigns is top of the list as beating Lesnar for the WWE championship at ‘Mania 31 would be a nice crowning-of-the-heir-apparent moment. But even though it would make sense it’s not been announced as a thing yet. ‘The Beast’ could just as easily find himself working a rematch with The Undertaker or having his first main roster dalliance with Randy Orton. Had a better job been done of splitting Paul Heyman and Cesaro then there’d be a compelling, natural story to be told for Cesaro versus Lesnar. It could still be done, but the time for making it mean as much as it could has slipped through WWE’s fingers.

Since the loss of his Streak I’ve found myself less interested in the concept of further Undertaker appearances. It’s not because the Lesnar bout was bad (although it was), it’s because the main appeal of ‘The Dead Man’ for me had become seeing him increase The Streak’s length. It added an urgency to his bouts that just can’t be there now. I’d convinced myself that he’d go for another year or two, announce his final match before it took place, and have Cena as his opponent. Cena, more than Lesnar, would have been able to convince people before the match that he was going to end The Streak. Because he’s Cena. My logic was that if WWE were going to end The Streak for anyone it would be Cena.

But that all fell apart when Lesnar pinned ‘Big Evil’ at WrestleMania XXX. ‘The Phenom’ will still be able to have good matches (if his body permits it) but they just won’t be as suspenseful. He could have his rematch with Lesnar and win, but ultimately it wouldn’t matter. The blemish on his record would still be there.

A lot of people seem to want Sting v Undertaker. I’ve said before that I would have no interest in seeing that match. Sting as a performer does nothing for me and any analogies between his role in WCW and ‘Taker’s in WWE are lost on me. One went off the rails because he felt betrayed during an invasion of cool heels, the other’s a zombie biker who digs MMA. The most that can be said in favour of them being a particularly good pairing is that they are both synonymous with their respective promotions. But WCW closed down in 2001. At this point Sting v Undertaker would be as much TNA v WWE as WCW v WWE.

But a lot of people want to see it. There’s obviously something I’m missing. That people seem keen on it makes me think that Undertaker versus ‘The Stinger’ is the most sensible match for both men at ‘Mania 31. Personally I’d be more interested in either man in a singles match against Bray Wyatt. He’s a better fit for the characters of both veterans. But I doubt that will come to pass.

I suspect a lot of people would argue that Sting v Triple H would be a good match. It’s true that both are top tier performers, but something about their respective styles makes me think they wouldn’t gel well together. Neither strikes me as a significant enough name to make the match work. There’s no obvious story to tell between the pair either.

‘The Game’ is best off working against guys getting established. He’s a respected (within WWE TV Land at least) performer, a former multi-time world champion, and the on-screen boss. His status is why guys would want a match with him and his job allows him to be easily written into necessary stories. The Daniel Bryan story worked well. More along those lines would be fine. Dean Ambrose, Bray Wyatt and Cesaro would be my top choices for matches against Trips. In time there’s a very obvious Seth Rollins match waiting to be presented too.

One guy I’m not especially interested in seeing Tripper wrestle is Batista. Since leaving over the summer he’s mentioned in interviews that he’d be interested in returning for a retirement match against ‘The King of Kings’ at a WrestleMania. Which says a fair bit about how ‘The Animal’ sees his status within WWE history. In fairness Triple H v Batista would make sense as a retirement match, given their history as friends and opponents. It would be a neat ending to Big Dave’s career. It just doesn’t feel like a modern day ‘Mania match, partly because they faced off at a ‘Mania before and partly because I don’t think Batista quite deserves that level of send-off. To me it feels more like a SummerSlam idea.

I think Batista would be of more value facing an Ambrose or a Cesaro at future WrestleManias. But such matches are probably beneath his ego, even if he were to win them. A bout with Lesnar would likely satisfy him, with or without the title on the line, but the trouble there is the same as with The Rock: Batsy has to keep himself as healthy as possible for Hollywood duties and Lesnar is not conducive to that. It would be a fresh pairing though of established headliners though, and that counts for a lot with me.

A man it would be easy to overlook here is Goldberg. No, he’s never been on the best of terms with WWE. No, they don’t seem to regard him as any form of exceptional draw (and in fairness there’s little evidence that they should). But if Sting is going to get mentioned Goldberg should too. At his peak Goldberg was just as big a star for WCW as Sting.

Were The Streak still intact a decent story could have been built around ‘Taker pitting it against Goldberg’s mostly perfect win-loss record. WWE could have ignored ‘berg’s handful of jobs or acknowledged them and emphasised the screwiness of most of them, either approach would have done the job. A year and a half ago Goldberg would have been a good choice of opponent for Ryback. ‘The Big Guy’ was getting compared to Goldberg every week and it would have given him a boost to face and beat the former WCW champ. It may seem a peculiar thing to say now, given Ryback’s lower-card status, but had WWE handled him better during his rushed rivalry with CM Punk and into WrestleMania XXIX they could have made a headliner out of him.

Those are wasted opportunities. There’s no obvious scenario for Goldberg at a WrestleMania now. But he’s a big enough name to attract a few eyes, especially if he was given the Hall of Fame and retirement match package (not that WWE would deem him worthy of that). The Ryback match could still just about work, just not as well as it could have previously. Beyond that matches with Brock Lesnar, Cesaro or a more embedded Roman Reigns could work nicely.

One more year for Angle. But it probably won't be in WWE.

Goldberg is also one of the many names that could work as an opponent for Kurt Angle. WWE’s fledging roster split stopped it happening during Goldberg’s previous run, which was a pity as the pair seem like a natural fit: the powerhouse and the technician. The trouble is that Angle would likely be taken as the face and Goldberg the heel, and both do their best work in the opposite roles. The more significant trouble with doing this match nowadays is that Angle is falling to pieces and Goldberg isn’t exactly known for his safety.

The really obvious Angle match would be opposite Rusev. He’s a foreign heel who talks about his superiority to America whilst wearing a gold medal. It seems tailor made for Angle. The current leading hypothesis is that Rusev is destined for a ‘Mania showdown with Cena. That would work and work well, but the ultra-patriotic Angle would be just as good a fit, if not a better one.

At this point I should probably pause and acknowledge the fact that it doesn’t look like Angle will ever return to WWE for a match. He’s said he’ll wrestle one more year part-time and then retire. WWE are said to be sceptical about Angle’s ability to pass their health and endurance tests, and they’re almost certainly right to be. Angle was originally let go by WWE in 2006 because of health concerns and he’s visibly smaller now than he was then. As much as it would be great to see him return for one final run and matches against Rollins, Ambrose, Cesaro, Ziggler and Rusev (and basically everyone else on the roster) it doesn’t look as though it will happen. I suspect we won’t be seeing Angle back in WWE until he’s called it quits on his in-ring offerings and is ready to accept a (much deserved) spot in the company’s Hall of Fame.

The same isn’t necessarily true for Angle’s fellow TNA alums Bully Ray and Devon. The former Dudley Boyz have apparently cut ties with TNA and agreed to some sort of deal which will see them wrestle at New Japan’s Wrestle Kingdom 9. It seems safe to assume Team 3D were added because the pay-per-view will be broadcast on PPV in the US (via Jeff Jarrett’s increasingly shady Global Force Wrestling “promotion”) and Bully and Devon are considered big enough names to help attract an audience.

While they’re far from being the biggest names in wrestling ever they are a known quantity. They have the Attitude Era rub that could attract lapsed fans and a very long list of accomplishments for longer term fans. I don’t personally feel that they are but I could understand an argument being made for them being the best tag team ever.

All of which could be used to argue in favour of bringing them into WWE on a part-time basis. Or it could if WWE had a healthier doubles division. I’m sure that the Dudleys versus Goldust and Stardust or the Usos would be good, but neither of the current WWE teams has the status of the Dudleys. To make the most of rehiring the Dudleys WWE would need a team (preferably several) with some history and status to pit them against. They’d need that Dream Match™ scenario, allowing the Dudleys to give the rub to a younger team. The only duo WWE has right now that look like they have the potential to become a significant team is The Ascension, and they’re still in developmental.

If WWE wanted to they could hire Bully and Devon as agents and use them as an occasional treat for house shows crowds. If they spent the time between WrestleManias 31 and 32 creating an interesting and worthwhile doubles division with The Ascension as the undisputed stars then a Dudleys match in 2016 could mean something. But we all know this isn’t something WWE will bother with.

Finally we come to the man whom I think would prove the most lucrative name on this list were he to return to the ring: ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. He seems fine with his retirement, having publically exhibited no burning desire to have one final match. It’s completely understandable. He went out in an extremely satisfying match in the semi-main event spot of a WrestleMania, losing to one of his greatest rivals, and friends, at a WrestleMania. He faced everyone there was to face during his time and became a massive star doing so. It’s hard to imagine him having any regrets about his career accomplishments or his last match in particular. While he’s always been careful to avoid committing to anything he has said that he’d come back for the right opponent and the right scenario. But I think another match with Austin is unlikely.

But that’s not to say there aren’t options for him. Because there are. There are tonnes. Austin against Ambrose, Rollins, Ziggler, or Cesaro. He has spoken highly of all of them in interviews and on his podcast, which indicates that he’d work a competitive match with them. Austin v Bryan could be a very good match too, although there you’d have the thorny issue of Bryan having to play the heel. Any of the four guys above could be switched to the antagonist role for an outing against Austin, but for several years now a defining attribute of Bryan’s character has been that he’s the chosen one of fans. He’s the man we want to see on top and the man we want to cheer for.

Even less likely than any of those matches is Austin versus CM Punk. It’s a match that WWE teased in a backstage segment on the 27 June 2011 on the episode of RAW that ended with Punk’s celebrated “pipe bomb”. The appeal of the match is obvious: they’re characters that have both a lot in common and some very clear differences. Each elevated their status within the company as outspoken anti-heroes railing against the management system. Each won several WWE championships and became credible headline talents. It’s the specifics where they differ. Austin was the beer-guzzling redneck who would attack anyone over anything. Punk doesn’t touch alcohol and was never booked to be as aggressive a presence as ‘The Rattlesnake’. The promos and interactions the pair could have in the build-up to a WrestleMania match would be sensational. With both men healthy and capable of hitting their signature spots a match would almost certainly be well-received. 

The match that never was.

Then there’s Austin versus Brock Lesnar. The promos there would have a different feel to them because it would be Austin dealing with Paul Heyman. There’s a lot that could be brought up there without even mentioning Lesnar: Heyman managing Austin early on in his career, giving him the opportunity to do a rough cut of the ‘Stone Cold’ character in ECW in 1995, and their time together in the Alliance. Then of course there’d be the history between Lesnar and Austin. The Texan famously walked out on WWE in 2002 after he was told he was to lose to ‘The Next Big Thing’ on an episode of RAW with no build-up. Heyman could spin that as Austin being scared of Lesnar and go on to talk up Lesnar various shoot credentials and WWE accomplishments to add validity to his claim. There are a lot of topics that could be covered to create a very tense, very real atmosphere for the bout.

Would it happen? I don’t think it would. While Austin would probably be more willing to risk injury than Batista and The Rock because he’s not got as many acting commitments or opportunities he does have a more serious medical history than either man (which, were it to happen, could be another topic for Heyman). Austin’s neck and knees would take a pounding in a match with ‘The Beast’ and I don’t think it would be worth the risk to his health.

Austin versus Hogan is another match with a very obvious appeal to it but I don’t think it could ever happen. ‘The Hulkster’ would need an opponent who could carry him, and that wouldn’t necessarily by Austin after twelve-plus years away from the ring. Then, of course, there’d be the question of winning. Can you imagine either man agreeing to lie down for the other? I can’t. And in this day and age anything less than a clear winner would not go down well.

There’s also John Cena. He’s already faced The Rock twice, losing once and winning once. Their matches were not received well and it’s tough to see things being any different in a Cena v Austin match. Rock actually seemed like a better fit for the Cena character as he was always a little more family-friendly than Austin, and Cena’s always about being family friendly. Something about their characters just made the pairing a natural fit, just as Austin and Punk would fit well together.

Were the match to happen Cena would obviously find himself booed. Austin, more than anyone else from the late 90s and early 00s, embodies the spirit of the Attitude Era. He was the man that sparked that movement within the company. It would be tough to see the match outside of the frame of Attitude versus PG and that’s a scenario WWE should want to keep Cena away from at all costs. The match would probably be as good if not better than Cena’s collisions with The Rock but that’s not really saying much.

Were Austin to return for a match there’s one match I’d want to see more than any other. It’s a match that has never happened but was once advertised as a pay-per-view main event: Austin v Triple H v The Rock. A triple threat match between the three biggest stars of the Attitude Era.

The match was originally advertised as the main event of Survivor Series 1999, a lovely bit of deliberate false advertising by the WWF because they knew from the start that it would never take place. Early on in the show Austin was “run over” in a car park to write him out of the match and storylines, allowing him to head off for a neck surgery. He was replaced by Big Show, who left as the new WWF champion.

Even back then I don’t think the match would have been incredible but it would probably have been very good. But it’s a bout that goes beyond concerns over quality. It’s appeal lies in seeing the three biggest stars of a generation together at the same time. And of course in seeing who’d be booked to go over. Had it happened in ’99 with all three men healthy it would have been hard to call. There were reasons for each man to win: Austin had been the company’s leading man for over a year and a half, The Rock was set to step up and become just as big a star, and Triple H was the era’s lead heel who always found a way to escape with the title. If it were to happen now none of that would be a factor. Times have changed and each man has a Hall of Fame career behind him. But it would still be one of the hardest matches to predict a winner for. And I think it would be an incredibly satisfying watch.

SnookiMania

So apparently Snooki wants back into the sports entertainment game. What's that? You’ve never heard of Snooki? Allow me to attempt an explanation.

Snooki’s full name is Nicole Elizabeth Polizzi. She shot to quasi-fame as a cast member on Jersey Shore, a show about a group of recognition-hungry layabouts flaunting their wealth and glamorous lifestyles in semi-scripted feuds and storylines (not dissimilar to wrestling, as it happens). Swimming pools, nightclubs and cheating partners featured prominently.

On the back of her popularity on that show she bagged numerous media appearances and a dose of fame. She also got a second, not very different, show in which she has a starring role. It’s called Snooki & JWoww. JWoww was also on Jersey Shore and holds the same media personality job description as Snooki.

Fake tan? No, definitely not.

When it became clear that Jersey Shore could sustain a level of popularity for a while WWE felt the need to associate with the show. Not satisfied with giving Zack Ryder a gimmick inspired by the programme they also hired Snooki, as the most marketable and one of the most respectable cast members, to host an episode of RAW in March 2011. That met with unspectacular results, as these sorts of WWE experiments tend to. Only a handful of non-wrestling fans were keen enough on Snooki to tune into RAW to watch her antics unfold. None stuck around (at least not in significant numbers) for any non-Snooki wrestling shows that followed.

Undeterred by the general public's spectacular indifference WWE forged ahead with the original plan to feature Snooki at that year’s WrestleMania. Not happy with simply having her appear (because that had been done) somebody in the company decided that Snooki should wrestle at the event. That she did, in the once prestigious semi-main event spot no less, teaming with John Morrison and Trish Stratus to defeat LayCool and Dolph Ziggler. Yep, Snooki was inexplicably booked as a babyface on the show which attracts the most hardcore wrestling fans. To the surprise of very few (a number which I suspect includes Snooki's agent) she was booed.

I shan't lie. I'm not overly familiar with Snooki's career so I had no idea what she'd been doing since WrestleMania XXVII until I Googled her to write this. Turns out she's mostly just been filming the reality show already mentioned. I can't say with any certainty whether or not her fame has increased, decreased or abstained from fluctuation altogether since her last WWE stint but I'd guess it's about the same. Essentially I'd assume she still has her own group of loyal fans. And if that's the case WWE could do worse than using her again.

Yeah, I'm advocating the use of a celebrity by WWE. Not revolutionary considering the company's track record and fairly unremarkable considering the celeb in question's been involved before and had announced they want to be involved again (on the Talk is Jericho podcast, for the record) but hear me out. If WWE were to simply bring in Snooki for a guest hosting spot on RAW it would be pointless. It's been done. It's also been proven she doesn't inflict a major change on ratings, which is the number one reason people of her ilk are brought in.

What I think WWE should do is offer Snooki a one year contract. Immediately you've got someone who can, with the right training and booking protection, work as a top heel in the Divas division and who can give Total Divas a boost. With the show going into its third series a boost is exactly what’s needed (the announcement that Rosa Mendes is joining the cast won’t provide it). In fact there's even the potential to do a series focusing solely on Snooki becoming a wrestler (which needn't preclude her from the TD cast). That could be shown exclusively on the WWE Network, netting more subscribers as her fans are forced to sign up to watch, or sold to TV channel, getting WWE some cash for a show that's unlikely to cost a lot to make.

Signing Snooki to a full contract (obviously an above average one in monetary terms) would create far more mainstream interest in WWE than having her make a one off appearance would. A fully fledged Z-lister becoming a bona fide full-time wrestler? TMZ and the like would lap that up!

While the reality setup would be Snooki's natural domain she could function well enough as a wrestler. She already has that much vaunted gymnastics background Michael Cole banged on about at 'Mania XXVII and could be stationed at NXT for the first several months of her contract. That she's going to be unpopular with fans would just need to be embraced (or perhaps I’m being hard on her and she has the ability to work out as a face: if so it’s hardly a loss, she’d just be booked differently). Sticking her with the BFFs would be sensible. It would not only cast her as a heel but also offer her some protection by surrounding her with more experienced heads.

After three or four months she could be promoted to the main roster to be carried through matches by Natalya, Emma, and Paige (notice how Divas are rarely entitled to surnames?). In fact, Snooki could be used as a device to elevate all the BFFs. The group could be called up as a unit with Snooki positioned as the star. That would make storylines easier to write (as each face challenger would have various singles and tag matches waiting for them opposing the villainous group) and allow multiple roster members to benefit from a celeb signing. There would also be a natural blow off feud between Snooki and whichever member of the BFFs WWE feels has the most potential for singles success in the long run. That's probably Charlotte but personally I like Sasha Banks's chances.

Her background means she's going to understand the social media aspects of being a WWE Diva (a downfall of many men and women WWE hires) and she's likely to pick up the knack of cutting a promo quickly if she's got the right teacher. She’d certainly be looked after in the teaching department. WWE would want their high profile signing to learn quickly and well in order to benefit from her as much as possible. As such they’d put their top people on her (stifle that laughter…).

The timing of this is something WWE would have to look at. Snooki's currently pregnant, which makes it an unlikely deal to be struck in the immediate future. That's not a concern though, because signing Snooki now isn't really ideal for WWE anyway. This is the sort of stunt that would best work in conjunction with WrestleMania. That would allow Snooki to make her first and last appearances on 'The Grandest Stage of Them All' and would ensure whatever Snooki-themed reality offering was concocted would be ready to air in the build-up to her second 'Mania, where Snooki would ideally be having a significant singles clash.

Snooki versus Charlotte at WrestleMania XXXII? You heard it here first!

Thank You, Warrior

I’ve avoided writing anything about the Ultimate Warrior’s death until now for two reasons. Firstly I knew there would be something addressing the issue on RAW and I wanted that as guidance. Secondly, I’m not that familiar with Warrior’s career. He was long gone before I started watching wrestling. Even his WCW stint had ended. I was familiar with him only from a VHS of SummerSlam 1992 that was in the house for some reason (even now nobody knows where it came from) and from a visit to a friend’s house in what was probably the very early nineties. A lengthy post documenting his career just didn’t seem appropriate.

While I’ve never been a fan of the Warrior and Hogan approach to wrestling there are some Warrior matches I’ve enjoyed via YouTube. Both his SummerSlam outings opposite Rick Rude are enjoyable, as is his WrestleMania VII encounter with ‘Macho King’ Randy savage. Meanwhile, if taken as angles as opposed to matches, there’s value in his Intercontinental title winning outing against the Honky Tonk Man and his weasel suit bout with Bobby Heenan. And the WrestleMania VI match, which famously saw Ultimate Warrior hand Hulk Hogan his first clean loss in years, is entertaining if taken on its own terms. In fact I’d say it’s more enjoyable than the vaunted Michaels v Hart iron man encounter from WrestleMania XII.

Warrior the man is someone I think a lot of people got a hint of during his too brief return to WWE. He was clearly touched by the positive emotional response he got from the fans and his peers at the Hall of Fame, WrestleMania and the April 7 RAW. He was just as obviously proud of his two daughters, and it was touching to hear him tell them that they were his greatest accomplishment.

His promo on RAW, while disjointed by today’s standards, was a passionate speech about the values of working hard and self-belief. These are themes that appear to have been constants throughout Warrior’s career and life. It was nice to hear a wrestler humbly putting over the importance of the audience and providing encouragement to the locker room. His comments on how a man is remembered are undoubtedly one of the eeriest things to ever happen in wrestling. They’re true too.

Warrior’s return to WWE showed us that he was a man worth respecting for the values and morals he lived his life by. No, he wasn’t the best wrestler, but he appears to have been a good man and father and he provided inspiration for many wrestlers that we all enjoy today, both in and out of WWE. His impact on the business, specifically Vince McMahon’s company, was significant. Not in terms of his body of work, but in terms of his motivation and passion. I’m incredibly pleased he got inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame when he did. It clearly meant a lot to him and allowed him to be remembered as he deserves.

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 41

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 41 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

Entrances are one of the most important parts of wrestling. Done right they can be one of the most entertaining aspects of a show, add layers to a character, or create a career highlight. Done wrong they can be horrific, ruining shows, dampening audience enthusiasm, and ruining careers. Many wrestlers, notably (but not necessarily interestingly) Daniel Bryan, have said that having a good entrance is the most important aspect of succeeding in WWE.

This is nothing new, of course. You can go back decades to find examples of wrestlers enjoying lavish entrances on bigger shows. As time’s gone on and technology and budgets have improved the quality of these entrances has grown. WrestleMania III saw wrestlers ferried to the ring on a truck, with a shot of Andre the Giant and Bobby Heenan becoming a recurring clip in WWE video packages. WrestleMania IX saw The Undertaker pulled to the ring on what was described as a “funereal chariot”. Three years later Shawn Michaels ziplined into ‘Mania before dethroning Bret Hart for his first WWF championship.

There are non-WWE examples too, of course. The Sandman’s entrances for his match in ECW were usually better than the matches that followed. Meanwhile WCW used the simple idea of having static and black and white featured in the nWo’s entrance video to make it seem as though they really were hijacking episodes of Nitro. And they had Sting dropping in from the rafters too.

And this isn't even the entrance!

Right now New Japan are the undisputed market leaders when it comes to wrestling entrances. Instead of having a set routine their wrestlers are given special entrances on bigger shows, ones that fit their personalities and position on the card. Everything from giant anime swords to strip clubs to comic book-inspired body paint daubing to Japanese rock stars to full size animatronic dinosaurs have been incorporated into entrances for their top stars. It’s an approach that enhances both the wrestlers and the shows.

It’s also an approach that knocks WWE’s tacky firework displays into a cocked hat. If comparing WWE entrances to NJPW’s seems unfair think again. WWE has a long history, longer than New Japan, of giving its top players memorable entrances on big shows. Not only that but they have more money than NJPW, meaning that if they had a mind to they could produce something far more lavish. That they don’t is disappointing.

WWE 2K14 review

Have you ever wanted to see Cody Rhodes wrestle Andre the Giant? Are you disappointed that Big Show and Mark Henry never got around to teaming up and taking the tag team titles from The Shield? Have you regretted Hulk Hogan's loss to The Ultimate Warrior at WrestleMania VI for the last twenty-three years? Wish you'd seen Shawn Michaels versus The Rock happen?Think the main event of this year’s Hell in a Cell should've been Titus O'Neil versus Tensai inside the cage?

If you answered yes to any of those questions then WWE 2K14 is probably something that will interest you. Even if you're not into video games you'll almost certainly be aware of its existence. It's been mentioned prominently on RAW for the last month or so and was the sponsor of the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view. In a neat touch the game was integrated into background graphics for the show's matches. But that's by the by.

For me WWE games peaked with No Mercy on the N64. That was released in 2000, which either means I'm quite the fan of the game or that wrestling games have not had a good time of it over the last decade (or, of course, both). What I liked about the game was its chunky graphical approach (well-suited to depicting a group of people who you’d be astute to describe as beefcakes) and the grapple system. The latter saw you press a button to lock up with your opponent (y’know, like wrestlers actually do) and then select a move by pressing one of two buttons and-or a direction. It was so good because it allowed you to replicate the feel of a wrestling match.

Wrestling games since have failed to master these areas, which has led to my disenchantment with pretty much every game post-No Mercy. Some tried the awful approach of using button combos instead of simple grapples, which is completely counterintuitive to how wrestling works. Those that did stick with the grapple system usually botched it. Meanwhile attempts to create realistic character models were completely understandable but the technology wasn't there to allow for success. The chunky, cartoonish beefcake route was, until the last few years, the better one.

But with WWE 2K14 2K Sports have finally produced a worthy successor to No Mercy. Wrestler likenesses are superbly recreated on-screen, complete with signature taunts, mannerisms and egotistical arena entrances. Wrestlers respond in a realistic fashion and feel as though they have some weight to them. It’s the most well-thought-out experience since No Mercy.

Well, sort of. The system is actually just a polished version of last year’s WWE ’13. This year’s instalment was being created using all the same systems by THQ, who went bankrupt during the spring and summer. 2K Sports swooped in, nabbed the lucrative WWE license, and finished the game off. We’ll have to wait until next year to see a game that features a wholly 2K creative direction.

The create-a-wrestler options are, frankly, staggering. Anyone familiar with the previous game will be aware at how creative people with too much time on their hands are able to create rosters that boast characters as diverse as George W Bush, Ash Ketchum, and The Gobbledygooker. Hours of fun can be had with this feature alone, whether the goal is to fill in the handful of gaps on the roster (recent call-ups, NXT regulars, and wrestlers from bygone generations that couldn't be worked into the game), recreate themselves, or make a powerhouse Donkey Kong to job out John Cena with. The option to download various pictures and bits of artwork from the internet will be taken for granted by most people but it still amazes me. I'm used to being confined to The Rock's $500 shirts on No Mercy.

The main part of the game is its Thirty Years of WrestleMania mode. You’re presented with famous ‘Mania matches and tasked with playing through them to recreate key moments. It was a smart choice with the thirtieth edition of the show rolling around next year. The same thing was done with last year’s instalment of the game but with moments from the Attitude Era.

Your personal preferences for WWE eras will dictate what you think of the ‘Mania approach. People who believe that the Attitude Era is the be all and end all of WWE (and wrestling in general) will probably be nonplussed at playing through scenarios involving Big John Studd and King Kong Bundy. Those who can see passed the late nineties will probably be relieved that there’s less emphasis on Dude Love, Ken Shamrock and the Kane v Undertaker feud. Personally I’m a big fan of the Attitude Era but the focus on WrestleMania allows for a greater appreciation of the company’s lengthy history.

You’re rewarded for playing through these scenarios with new characters and arenas. Regain the WWF championship from ‘The Nature Boy’ Ric Flair at WrestleMania VIII as ‘Macho Man’ Randy Savage and you’ll unlock both. Scoop slam Andre the Giant as ‘The Hulkster’ and you’ll finally get to see that Rhodes v Andre dream match. It’s a simple formula but it works well, and should ensure even the most gifted gamers are kept busy for a week or so. It ties in nicely to the usual approach of making legendary names unlockable characters.

WWE 2K14 doesn’t do anything to completely revolutionise wrestling video games. But it does offer competition to previous kingpin No Mercy. In my book that makes it a tremendous success.

One More Round

Yesterday I wrote about The Rock wrestling at WrestleMania XXX. The basic gist was that I believe 'The Great One' being in a match is as close to a certainty as you can get in wrestling. But what about the other major star from the Attitude Era? What about 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin?

A significant number of fans have been clamouring for the return of 'The Texas Rattlesnake' for years. His most recent match took place in 2003 at WrestleMania XIX. On that show 'The Great One' finally beat his greatest rival on the biggest stage WWE has to offer. The next evening on RAW Eric Bischoff announced that Austin could no longer compete because of neck problems (which had been a problem for Austin for years by that point). Just like that one of the greatest wrestlers ever retired. He went on to work as an authority figure on RAW before moving on to acting and presenting.

The thing about an Austin return is that the man doesn't need it. He went out on top. He had a spectacular match with one of his greatest opponents at WWE's flagship event. Only Edge, who won his last match and retired as the World Heavyweight champion, can boast a better send off. Austin's 'Mania XIX outing was on par with the retirement match of Shawn Michaels and the official retirement bout of Ric Flair.

'Stone Cold' looks as good as ever and always says in interviews that he feels better than he did when wrestling. I'm sure if he wanted to Austin could work a final match.

But why would he want to? Having returned from numerous lengthy layoffs throughout his career Austin knows as well as anyone that it can take time to shake off ring rust. He may be in great condition but he's also nearing fifty. Would Austin really want to jeopardise his health and his legacy by having one last match? I can't see it. The danger that the match could be a disappointment is probably enough to dissuade Austin. He took great pride in his work when he was an active wrestler. That trait wouldn't have changed.
 

A return seems unlikely, and that's the bottom line...

 

The difference between Austin and The Rock, because the parallels are obvious and people are bound to point out Rocky made a comeback, is that Rock is a huge movie star. It was probably just as much WWE reaching out to Rock wanting mainstream appeal as much as it was Rock wanting to cap off his wrestling career in a suitably meaningful fashion. Prior to tagging with and then facing Cena 'The Brahma Bull's' most recent outing had been a handicap match tagging with Mick Foley against Evolution. A star of Rock's standing deserved a better final match and he knew it (although the guy's such a class act he'd never acknowledge it). Austin, as mentioned, was not in that position.

"But what about a dream match with CM Punk?" you cry. What about it? Yes, Punk would be the obvious choice to pit Austin against if he wrestled again, just as Cena was Rock's obvious foe. The promos the two could have against one another could be magical, some of the best the business has ever seen.

This doesn't change anything. Austin's not in the position of a Hogan or Flair, forced to keep trotting himself out in front of increasingly apathetic audiences, suffering from the law of diminishing returns. Austin v Punk being a dream match doesn't change anything. There are plenty of dream matches we've never seen and never will see. Austin v Punk, at this point, looks destined to join that list.

The same goes for Austin v Lesnar, Austin v Ryback and Austin challenging The Streak. These are matches that Austin simply doesn’t need to participate in. He went out on top and has made a very healthy post-wrestling career.

Austin's fans (and I'm one of them) should forget about him returning to the ring and concentrate on the body of work he left behind. 'The Bionic Redneck' was, by anyone's standards, one of the biggest names ever in WWE or wrestling in general. I don't need a comeback to remember how good he was. And I’ve no desire to see him risking a subpar performance which would tarnish his career.

Main Event Player

You may remember that in late 2011 and early 2012 there was a lot of talk that Sting was going to leave his well-paid, part time gig in TNA and finally make the move to WWE. A lot of people were very keen on the idea of him wrestling the Undertaker at WrestleMania. I didn't particularly care for the idea, never having been much of a Sting fan. 'The Stinger' ended up staying with TNA, leaving 'Taker to have a rematch with Triple H at ‘Mania XXVIII. That match was pretty highly regarded, so it all worked out for the best in the end.

It's been a year and a half but those Sting rumours have started up again. They've cropped up periodically pretty much since he first appeared for TNA, like those singles pushes Billy Gunn used to get every nine months or so. Anyone who's followed wrestling online for a significant amount of time will by now be used to reading about Sting's latest alleged reasons for fancying a jaunt to McMahon country.

As irritating as the rumours are they get addressed because Sting is one of TNA's biggest stars and the only major name from WCW not to appear for WWE since that company went under and was sold in 2001. To some people out there that means a great deal.

In early 2012 the rumour had credence because it could have seen Sting wrestle a dream match against 'The Phenom' in WCW's former stronghold of Atlanta. If nothing else I think that could have created a fantastic atmosphere: the WCW stalwart trying to end The Streak could have successfully split the crowd. This time it has credence because TNA is in clear financial trouble and need to save cash. They could (and probably should) be encouraging Sting to make the move to save themselves money.

For WWE's part the appeal of Sting is obvious. He's the only major name of the last twenty years that they've not had work for them. He'd have fresh matches waiting for him against practically the entire roster, including first time meetings with all of the company's major stars. Sting's drawing power is not what it was at his peak in the late nineties but he could still help to encourage a significant improvement for WWE's host of B level pay-per-views.

There's also quite possibly an element of ego involved. Vince McMahon is the kind of macho character who would see signing Sting as a victory. It could be taken as the last WCW holdout finally being made to cave at the promise of the McMahon millions. Vince would probably have a good smirk about Sting signing after years of claiming to be "perfectly happy" in TNA too.

Personally I don't really care if Sting goes to WWE. He's one of the most average men to ever establish themselves as a main event performer. Average in the ring, average on the mic. There's nothing about him or his character that excites me. I'd be interested to see what WWE would get him to do and how long it would take Cena to beat him but there's nothing about the scenario that makes me desperate to see it play out. I wouldn't feel cheated if Sting announced his retirement tomorrow and never wrestled again.

You all know Cena would beat him

For Sting's part a move to WWE would allow him to experience some larger crowds again and get the send-off from wrestling that he deserves: the HOF induction and WrestleMania retirement match package. At fifty-four how he ends his career has got to be something that's on his mind. As fond as he is of TNA and as much as he professes to question WWE's business ethics there's no way TNA could give him half the send-off WWE could.

I think Sting leaving TNA would be best for all involved. He's faced everyone of significance multiple times. He's won five world championships. He was the inaugural inductee to TNA's ill-judged Hall of Fame. He's done everything he can in his ten years there. That he's currently embroiled in a story about reforming the Main Event Mafia (a decent concept that was bungled enough the first time around (WCW's Millionaire's Club, remember them?) to make me never want to see it used again) says all you need to know about what TNA has for Sting to do. More world title reigns? No. They went out of their way to introduce a stipulation about Sting never challenging for the belt again. The TNA championship is not in his future.

TNA would save money that could be better spent elsewhere if Sting left. At a time when they're cutting talent who could be of use I think they need to have a serious think about why they'd want to keep on a fifty-four year old who's been present since 2003.

Retiring the Mask

Rey Mysterio's been injured, on and off, for over two years now. It's reached the point where his credibility as a reliable main event performer is almost completely eroded and his long term health is in jeopardy. He's generally okay when he turns up but no long term plans can be made for him because the chances are that he won't be around to see them through. I’d like to advocate retirement for him.

The latest on his knees, which are said to be the cause of his erratic schedule, is that they'll be healthy enough to allow 'Mr 619' to compete at SummerSlam. This is by no means a certainty. He was originally going to be back in the ring by June.

I'd like to advocate holding off his return for beyond ‘The Hottest Event of the Summer’. If the last few years have taught us anything it's that rushing back from an injury does Mysterio no favours. It has no impact on ratings either, so it’s not even as if something’s gained from the rush. It would be best for Mysterio if he spent the rest of the year resting. That would allow him time to return to full health and give WWE a chance to prepare a storyline for when he comes back.

 

Mysterio there, invoking the Riddler

 

It's the return plan I'm interested in. I think WWE and Mysterio should be thinking of his next return as his last, hence the reason that he should be as healthy as possible to avoid any injury-related complications. All parties should want to give Mysterio the send-off he deserves.

The obvious time to do this would be next year’s WrestleMania. Adding a Mysterio retirement match to a card that’s already likely to feature big names like Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Cena, Punk, and The Rock, would help to make ‘Mania XXX one to remember.

They could even do a longer wait and have Mysterio go out at next year’s SummerSlam. With a bit of effort WWE could turn SummerSlam back into their second biggest annual show, the WrestleMania of the summer.

Obviously things like fanfests can help with that but the best way to make SummerSlam mean something would be to hoard big names for the show. They seem to be doing that with CM Punk v Brock Lesnar this year. But the top three or four matches need to be big if SummerSlam’s to do truly impressive numbers. Again a Mysterio retirement stip could help with that.

The ideal way to reintroduce Rey would be through a series of vignettes in which he discusses the reasons for his time away, his passion for wrestling and his desire to come back and show that he can still be as good as people remember. He could talk about having one more run and cementing his spot as one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

Reveal a return date for Rey and show a new vignette every week. The should ensure people are aware of his return. From there the company should know roughly how long they’re going to have access to Mysterio for before he retires and draw up a list of all the opponents they want him to face in important matches.

The biggest matches should be saved for pay-per-view. Everything else could be a heavily promoted TV match. Yeah, I still think WWE could improve their ratings by advertising matches. I’m crazy like that.

Mysterio has been an important member of the WWE roster for a long time now. He’s won world titles and had some memorable and very enjoyable matches. The guy deserves a send-off befitting what he’s accomplished in and for WWE.

Victim of Circumstance

I watched the opening two matches of WrestleMania XX a week or two ago (I was bored while waiting for My Big Fat Gypsy Fortune to start). The second match is an instantly forgettable four team tag match. The opening bout is far more noteworthy, seeing John Cena take on the Big Show for the US championship. There are two firsts there: Cena's in-ring 'Mania debut (he had cut a promo at WrestleMania XIX) and his first title win.

The match is also noteworthy for the incredibly positive reaction Cena receives. He'd been on TV for around eighteen months by this point. He’d spent majority of that time doing his 'Doctor of Thuganomics' gimmick, a heavily modified version of which he still plays today.

It was peculiar viewing. Cena did the routine he still performs today and the audience lapped it up. He powered up Big Show for an FU (or the AA as it’s called now) and the crowd roared with a mixture of astonishment and approval. Moments later that same audience was stunned when 'The World's Largest Athlete' kicked out of the move, the first man to ever do so. Perhaps most interestingly the event was held in Madison Square Garden, a state away from but catering to the same market as 'Mania XXIX.

Cena got a very different reception back in 2004. I'd rhetorically ask what's changed but we all know the answer: nothing has.

In 2003 WWE was mostly directionless, flailing in the wake of The Rock's move to Hollywood and 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin's retirement. Brock Lesnar had become a decent draw but not as big as expected or needed. By the time 'Mania XX rolled around it didn't matter anyway, the show would be 'The Pain's' final WWE appearance for eight years.

Happier times for John Cena

In 2003 Cena was fresh and hungry to make it to the top. Fans appreciated his character because it was different to everything else being presented. That he clearly wanted to succeed and had a knack for effective mic work helped too. New top acts were needed and fans selected Cena to be one of them. He was a limited wrestler but he wasn’t a bad wrestler. Besides, there were guys like Chris Benoit, Eddie Guerrero and Kurt Angle on the roster. One sub-par headliner wasn’t going to hurt.

Over the years Cena’s inability or unwillingness to change or progress has caused fans to turn on him. He trots out the same routine that helped him rise to the top nine years ago.

The key to staying on the right side of wrestling fans (as told to CM Punk by Raven) is knowing how to tweak your character every so often. Introducing a new move or altered looked are good ways of doing that. Cena has done nothing new in years. The latest move he added to his regular repertoire was the STFU in 2005. New merch every four months and the occasional switch from jorts to camouflage gear isn’t enough.

That he's not changed while fans' tastes have isn't Cena's only problem. Since 2005 he has been the undisputed star of the company. He has outlasted the two other most financially successful headliners WWE has ever had: Hulk Hogan and Steve Austin. 'The Hulkster' did around six years before going part time and eventually leaving the WWF altogether. 'The Rattlesnake' had a surprisingly short four years as the company's top act.

Hogan wasn't hearing jeers by the time he left, but he wasn't as big a deal as he had been when Hulkamania kicked off. The same is true of Austin. Both men got out, for various reasons, before fans got bored and turned on them.

Cena has been at the top for so long that it goes beyond disliking his moves or his promo style or his merch or the fact that he's marketed at kids. People are just bored of the status quo. When fans express a desire for WWE to change or progress or try something new the obvious first suggestion to make is to de-push or get rid of Cena. He's faced everyone and won everything. His continued status as top dog ensures that not only do guys not get a fair crack at making it to the top but that they look worse whenever they interact with the company’s biggest star.

Guys can get away with having foibles when headlining WWE. Hogan was just as limited as Cena. Austin wasn't far off by the time he became a star because of various injuries he'd suffered. Fans will tolerate shortcomings, just not for this long.

 
Cena could be said to be a victim of his own success. Fans wanted him to make it to the top because WWE was stale. But he’s now been on top for so long that the product has become stale again and it’s largely seen as his fault.

There's no obvious answer for me to point to here. WWE won't make Cena part time until 'The Franchise' himself requests it. Why would they? Working a full schedule means he’s on house shows, TV, pay-per-views, and international tours. WWE can make more money if Cena's full time.

Sending him home for a while to allow others some spotlight would be a good idea as it would create fresh opponents for Cena (and other people) and allow him to rest and recuperate. But that would mean risking a dip in ticket sales, PPV buys, and TV ratings. It's a less radical solution to a part time schedule but carrying the same problems.

Turning Cena heel isn't going to solve things. That would alienate his existing fanbase but encourage people who boo him to cheer him, because it would be the change that the character hass been needing for several years.

WWE's best option is the one they're taking. That is trying to create new megastars while Cena's still working full time. I think they've more or less accomplished it over the last two years with CM Punk. Ryback was doing pretty well before his heel turn, which demonstrates that fans will react to alternative babyfaces. If he can make it to the top and prove a success in headline situations where he isn't supported by Cena that will be a good sign.

But, to borrow a sentiment from 'Big Hungry', they'll need more. By WWE's own criteria John Cena is a success. Whoever takes over from him is going to have some big shoes to fill.

Third Time's a Charm

At the 2011 Royal Rumble Dolph Ziggler challenged Edge for the World Heavyweight championship. He didn't win. At the next year's Rumble Ziggler challenged CM Punk for the WWE championship. Once again he didn't win.
 
This year's show is still a few weeks away. It's been announced that The Rock will challenge CM Punk for the WWE championship on the show. No WHC bout has been announced as yet. Nothing about the current storylines revolving around SmackDown's premier prize indicates that 'The Show Off' will be involved in the match though. It's currently looking as though Alberto Del Rio (or perhaps Ricardo Rodriguez) will get the nod.
 
Which is a great shame. Had Ziggler been prepped for another crack at a world title the angle of his two previous attempts on the show ending in failure could have been played up. WWE doesn't make the most of these situations anywhere near often enough. It's arguable that the only statistic they've ever truly capitalised on to its maximum potential is the Undertaker's Streak.
 
Not that I'm saying giving Ziggler a world title shot at the Rumble for a third straight year could have been as lucrative as 'The Dead Man's' 'Mania record but it could have been intriguing. Wrestling is, to all intents and purposes, a sport. Yes it's predetermined but that doesn't prevent those in charge from capitalising on situations and circumstances when they crop up. In fact wrestling's predetermined nature should mean we see stories like this more often.
 
Staying with the theme of The Streak for a moment, cast your mind back to Shawn Michaels' back-to-back failures against 'Taker. Yes The Streak was the reason that story could be presented in the first place, but the rematch wasn't just about 'Taker's statistics or HBK's career, it played into stories that had been kept bubbling across the year as well as ‘The Showstopper’s’ failure to get the job done once before. Michaels had to goad Undertaker into facing him by costing him a championship, agreeing to put his career on the line to get what he wanted. It was as much about Michaels and Undertaker’s rematch as it was The Streak as a whole.

Undertaker still has his real hair here

 
Ziggler getting a title match at the Rumble for the third year in a row may seem a world removed from this but that's only because it's so unlike the current WWE booking approach. It's easy to imagine 'The Heel' interrupting a promo between Show and ADR in order to make himself eligible for a championship match. It's not so easy to imagine him referring to his past defeats at the event and the announcers playing it up.
 
The situation could still be capitalised on though. Should Ziggler cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase on the victor of the World strap match and leave as the new champion then it could be mentioned that he failed in 2011 and 2012 but succeeded in 2013 despite not having a match scheduled. It would be making use of the past in a different way but still making use of it.
 
Sadly that's not something WWE are interested in. That's a shame on two levels. Firstly because it’s an approach that could improve WWE's storylines by providing a different area to place emphasis in storylines without amending the sports entertainment approach. Secondly because WWE has a rich history, both short and long term, that would offer a wealth of plots.
 
The same old approach makes money though. And ultimately that's all that matters.

Who Can Win the Rumble?

A few weeks ago I posted a list of possibilities for "surprise" entrants in next year's Royal Rumble (you can read it here). Since then I've been thinking about potential winners of the match. Successfully predicting a Rumble winner is something that's very difficult to do, particularly with the modern WWE product. Examples of long term planning, which Rumble winners generally require to succeed (see the failure of this year's winner Sheamus) are scarce and the promotion's willingness to have victors take their title shots at pay-per-views other than WrestleMania means a heavily pushed mid-carder has a chance (see Sheamus again).
 
It's far too early to pick one guy and say he's my choice to outlast everyone else. However it feels about the right time to list the men I currently think are favourites and a few longshot contenders.
 
Top of the list has to be John Cena. The reasons should be obvious. He is WWE's most heavily pushed and relied upon act and has been for years. He is the top drawing regular performer and so placing him in a prominent position on the biggest card of the year is a perfectly sensible business move. Cena versus any of the part time attractions mentioned in connection with 'Mania XXIX would be big business for WWE.
 
A Cena victory could set up a lucrative rematch with The Rock. Going against WrestleMania XXVIII's "once in a lifetime" marketing is not enough to stop that being a strong possibility. It could also lead Cena to a bout with current WWE champion CM Punk. We've seen that match far too often for it to be considered special any longer but the match would be a way of portraying 'The Second City Saint' as Cena's equal, especially if he were up beat him.
 
There's even the potential for Cena to win the Rumble and challenge for the World Heavyweight championship. There's plenty of time for Sheamus or Randy Orton, and maybe turn heel, to win the belt before 'Mania to give Cena a main event opponent.
 
Speaking of Sheamus and Orton both seem like possible Rumble winners. A WHC match between the two has been rumoured for WrestleMania XXIX. Sheamus could regain the big gold belt from Big Show and 'The Viper' could win the 30 man battle royal before turning heel. Orton v Sheamus would be a fresh programme and match that would allow WWE to continue presenting 'Great White' as a genuine headliner, something which remains inexplicably high on their priority list.
 
It could just as easily be 'The Apex Predator' dethroning 'The World's Largest Athlete' and Sheamus winning the Rumble. Although saying that it would mean Sheamus winning two years in a row, which doesn't seem terribly likely. The current writing system seems to be against repeat performances such as that.
 
Another guy who seems like he has a good chance is Ryback. He's received a substantial push all year and his profile has been raised considerably by his recent rivalry with CM Punk. While the WWE champion is probably going to be moved away from 'Big Hungry' over the next few weeks, to allow adequate time to hype his clash with 'The Brahma Bull', the chances of Ryback dominating the Rumble seem high. I'll be surprised if he's not in the final four.

Royal Rumble winner?

 
Should Ryback win I'd expect him to challenge for the World Heavyweight title. The WWE title scene will be dominated by established headliners throughout 'Mania Season. Besides, Ryback challenging for the WWE championship is well worn now. Should 'Big Hungry' win wrestling's most prestigious battle royal I could see him going against Big Show or a heel Orton. If it were the latter the match would naturally culminate with Show being muscled up for a Shellshock, proving to every man, woman and child watching that Ryback is the strongest in the land.
 
A Brock Lesnar win isn't beyond the realms of possibility. It could set up a battle between he and The Rock for the pay-per-view extravaganza, if 'The Great One' were to topple Punk of course. That would a fantastic match for WWE to promote: a Hollywood movie star against a former UFC champion for the promotion's top prize. It would be a great way to entice extra media coverage. It's one of the best matches WWE could go with.
 
Dolph Ziggler is another wrestler with a narrow chance at winning. While he's failed to capture a world title in 2012 (although there are still two weeks left) 'The Show Off' has worked his way up the card to a spot where it's not impossible to imagine him winning the Rumble. Pay-per-view outings against headline talent like Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Sheamus (he sort of counts), Punk, and John Cena have helped his standing a great deal. It's possible WWE will speed up his slow elevation with a Rumble victory. If it happens I imagine Ziggler will be challenging for the WHC at Elimination Chamber or 'Mania.
 
What could harm Ziggler's chance is that he still has the Money in the Bank briefcase to use. An argument could be made that that already presents a clear route to the world title for 'The Heel', making a Rumble win unnecessary. Ziggler winning the Rumble and still having the briefcase could be made to work but it would involve WWE passing up a chance to elevate someone else. I don't think this is the former Spirit Squad member's year. Ryback seems more likely.
 
Finally there's the Undertaker. If he were to win the Rumble he would make a natural opponent for CM Punk. 'The Voice of the Voiceless' retaining all the way until WrestleMania would allow for a Streak versus long title emphasis to be placed on the match.

Alternatively The Rock could defeat Punk for the belt and challenge The Streak at 'Mania. Both Rock and Punk have the status to be credible and believable challengers to Undertaker's undefeated status. The longest reigning WWE champion of the modern era challenging The Streak would be a great main event for next year's extravaganza. That's the match I want to see.