New Year's Revolution 2005 review

All those old wrestling shows. So little time. Let’s jump into the hypothetical time machine and take a trip back to watch an old show with fresh, modern eyes…

This time we’re going back to the very start of 2005 and the first of WWE’s three New Year’s Revolution events. None of them were much good. The most notable thing about them is that the first two hosted Elimination Chamber matches, which would ultimately lead to WWE foolishly deciding that the first quarter of the year should always feature that gimmick. Oh, and the 2006 show featured Edge winning his first WWE championship. But we’re stuck a year earlier than that, with Eric Bischoff still very much in charge of his own RAW roster, Kane and Lita bafflingly being in a relationship, Randy Orton playing the plucky young babyface, and Muhammad Hassan and Eugene being things wrestling fans had to deal with.

All set? Let’s begin…

Opening video

This was an odd one by WWE standards. It saw Eric Bischoff stood in the ring with the Elimination Chamber cage set up around him talking about how vicious the match is. Perhaps to illustrate his point (but perhaps for some other, undisclosed reason) he would occasionally smack the cage with a steel pipe. This was interspersed with shots from previous Chamber bouts, supposed construction of the Chamber itself, and the double finish triple threat match that resulted in the vacating of the World Heavyweight championship and the Chamber match headlining this card.

World tag team championship: William Regal and Eugene (c) v Christian and Tyson Tomko

Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler welcomed us into the Coliseo de Puerto Rico in San Juan, Puerto Rico for what I believe is the only WWE pay-per-view to not be held in the United States or Canada since SummerSlam 1992. But that possibly inaccurate fact paled in comparison to Ross and Lawler being stationed next to the entranceway, something I’d completely forgotten about. This was one of those moves Vince made in the 2000s that was either designed to freshen up the product (y’know because wrestling fans are all about where the commentary desk is put in an arena) or annoy JR. It definitely achieved the latter, whether that was the intent or not. Ross was always quick to say that he hated being away from the ring.

I think an explanation of Eugene is probably necessary because it’s possible some (lucky) people reading this won’t be familiar with the character. He was originally introduced as Eric Bischoff’s nephew suffering with serious learning disabilities. He was played by the mentally able Nick Dinsmore, a man who’d toiled away in the company’s developmental system for years and presumably agreed to play the character because he was (understandably) desperate for his chance to become a Superstar™.

On the surface introducing a character with learning disabilities was a progressive move for a wrestling company. The initial introduction was good and Dinsmore’s portrayal was believable and sympathetic enough for Eugene to catch on and become surprisingly popular (the lack of fresh stars and the product’s general sense of staleness may have been additional contributing factors). But WWE, being WWE, had to get it wrong eventually. Eugene got mixed up with lead heel faction Evolution, which led to him being exposed as the out of his depth mid-card character he was always going to be.

After that he was shunted into a tag team with William Regal. It was not only a more appropriate placing on the card but also a more appropriate role in general. Regal made an excellent straight man for Eugene’s exuberant antics. They became one of the few decent teams WWE had throughout the entire decade.

That’s the point we’re at now. In the future WWE would make the bewildering decision to turn Eugene heel (having a mentally challenged character that audiences are encouraged to boo is never going to be a good move) and the decidedly less bewildering decision to drop him further down the card when his popularity inevitably waned. Ultimately he would be released, make a very brief return (as Eugene) in 2013, and then be hired as a trainer in 2013 (a role he was coincidentally fired from this week). But that’s all in the future. At NYR 2005 Eugene was still employed and very, very popular for some reason I’ve never been able to work out.

The match started with Eugene emulating Hogan’s posing and JYD's headbutts. He also cocked his leg to emulate urinating on a downed Christian. The crowd went mad for that. Eugene was isolated for a few minutes but managed to tag in Regal (to absolute silence) after Hulking up. Then it was Regal’s turn to get isolated, which made more sense as Eugene was the more popular of the pair.

The crowd exploded when Eugene finally tagged back in. He did a fiery clean-up on the heels before (legitimately) hurting his knee due to overexcitement. The match ended shortly afterwards, Eugene getting the pin via Owen Hart SummerSlam '97 rollup. The match clearly ended a little before it was meant to because of the injury. Eugene was helped to the back by medical personnel.

Poolside with the Divas

Christy Hemme wandered around the pool. She stopped to hand a towel to some random dude and got leered at in return. She seemed to enjoy it. Because the PG rating hadn’t been introduced at this point ‘King’ was in full-on ‘King’ mode, commenting that he loved Christy taking the twins out.

It was the first of many such videos.

Edge, Christian and Tyson Tomko chat backstage

Edge and Christian, while both heels, were not aligned with one another at this point. Which was a nice touch. It makes things seem more believable when heels have problems with other heels based on previous feuds. Edge told Christian he had an idea that would see Christian win the WHC. They walked off, presumably to discuss Edge’s plan in more detail away from the camera crew.

Women's championship: Lita (c) v Trish Stratus

The match was preceded by a video getting everyone up to speed. Lita had gotten pregnant by Kane and lost the baby after Kane fell on her in the ring. Trish made fun of her for this, first laughing about her getting fat due to pregnancy and then about her losing the baby. Which really goes beyond heel heat into the realms of Trish’s character just being awful. Her villainous side was not served well by the writing team.

This pregnancy stuff demonstrates a few things. First of all, it’s not just Vince Russo who writes pregnancy and miscarriage angles for this company. Secondly, WWE was quite happy to use something that would only ever be a tragedy in real life to fuel what was meant to be escapist TV programming. Lita v Trish was the first of two matches on the show that came from this dreadful angle. That we no longer get storylines like is a reason to be in the favour of the PG rating.

This was Trish's sixth women's title win.

The match was pretty quick. Trish was thrown out of the ring and Lita tweaked her knee performing a Thesz Press off the apron. Trish worked the knee for a few minutes in the ring and then pinned Lita after a Chick Kick. It wasn’t as obvious whether or not the injury here was real, but it seemed it. Whatever the case, the match was not up to the standards of the pairs’ reputations. It was basic and lasted less than four minutes.

Chris Jericho gets ready

That’s it. A shot of Chris Jericho preparing for the main event. JR mentioned him being the first ever undisputed champion in an attempt to make it seem like Jericho had a chance at heading into WrestleMania Season as the champ. He didn’t and everyone knew it.

Poolside with the Divas again

Maria got undressed and sat on a sunbed. Jerry said he didn’t know what he was doing while this was filmed but he was pleased the cameras were there to catch it.

Edge, Christian, Tyson Tomko and Eric Bischoff chat backstage

Edge told Bisch that he wanted a World title match but didn’t want it with Shawn Michaels as the guest referee. The future ‘Rated R Superstar’ had convinced himself Michaels would screw him out of the gold (because they were feuding at this point). He suggested putting Christian in the Chamber match in his place, with the winner defending the title against Edge on RAW. Bischoff said no to the proposed changes and, perhaps channelling the 2014 model Batista, told E&C to deal with it.

Edge stormed out of the office and ran into Michaels in the corridor. Michaels said he planned to call the match fairly but that he'd have to react if physically provoked. He did say he'd like to count Edge’s shoulders down though. Which didn’t exactly sound unbiased.

Intercontinental championship: Shelton Benjamin (c) v Maven

Maven had pinned Benjamin in a six man tag match to earn the title shot. Back then a champion being pinned in a non-title match was still enough of a reason for a title match to happen. RAW would be a much easier watch these days if basics like that were still the case.

Proof that WWE could have gimmicked Maven up.

The match lasted a little over six minutes but most of that was house show-level stalling from Maven. He hugged the ropes to escape Benjamin’s formidable amateur background then left the ring to stand on a chair and cut a promo on the crowd. Why didn’t he get counted out? Because he told the referee not to count and the referee obliged. And people think HBK’s a biased official!

Maven basically spent about three minutes telling the crowd to be quiet so he could concentrate. He also pretended he couldn’t speak Spanish then revealed that he could (or at least knew a token phrase). Then he faked a walk out, dashed back into the ring, and got rolled up and pinned with an immediate schoolboy by the champion.

Maven said the loss didn't count and demanded an immediate rematch. So that led to…

Intercontinental championship: Shelton Benjamin (c) v Maven... the long-awaited rematch

Shelton returned, hit a T-Bone suplex and pinned Maven again. The entire sequence seemed designed to kill time in the most unsatisfying fashion possible.

Poolside with the Divas yet again

A woman (who on closer inspection turned out to be Candice Michelle) rubbed lotion into Christy Hemme's back. Jerry didn’t say anything particularly noteworthy, possibly because he’d left the announce desk by this point.

Chris Benoit gets ready

Chris Benoit did some press-ups. JR said he wanted to regain the title and referenced WrestleMania XX. That was it.

Todd Grisham interviews Daivari and Muhammad Hassan

After a recap of JR being choked (like a government mule?) by Hassan and Daviri, Todd Grisham asked an instantly forgettable generic question of the heels. Hassan said it was typical of the American media (which I think meant WWE’s production team) to cut out Lawler calling him an idiot and only show the aftermath. Grish asked if he was nervous for his PPV debut. Hassan said he wasn't and then chatted about Puerto Rico's populace being second class citizens. He also crammed in a line about his own personal revolution. Because that's the name of the show!

For those who don’t remember, Muhammad Hassan was in many ways the other side of the Eugene coin. He was just as much a product of exploitation but he was a vicious heel rather than a (supposedly) endearing babyface. In this case the aspect of reality being exploited was the West’s cultural clash with the Middle East. Hassan would cut promos about being held back because of his ethnicity and make veiled comments about whatever North American city he was in being prejudiced against him. Because he was a heel he wasn’t allowed to touch on these issues without making it clear that he himself was prejudiced against the West, because that’s the way WWE operates.

It was a far more unpleasant character than Eugene, for obvious reasons. Hassan would eventually disappear from TV later in the year after UPN (the channel which aired SmackDown) pressured WWE into not using him after a controversial segment in which Hassan summoned men in ski masks to choke The Undertaker with piano wire before carrying him out of the arena (taped days before the London bombings). Daivari disappeared too, but would return later in the year to manage Kurt Angle.

Muhammad Hassan v Jerry 'The King' Lawler

JR left commentary to accompany Lawler to ringside. That left us with no commentary, which was a peculiar production decision. Especially when Todd Grisham had been shown backstage and Jonathan Coachman would commentate on the show from the next match onwards. Perhaps it was an experiment by WWE to see they could cut costs and operate without announcers.

It was a basic match with the obvious heavy influence from Memphis. For example, fair early on Lawler “had the match won” with a rollup but the ref was busy reapplying a turnbuckle pad. There was also the obligatory pulling down of the strap to signify that ‘King’ meant business.

Hassan put on the camel clutch twice but Jerry wouldn't quit. The crowd changed boring after the second application. Hassan's response was a sleeper. Jerry made a comeback and hit a drop kick and his punch from the second rope but Hassan, not being a jobber from the 1970s, kicked out. Lawler DDTed him but Daiviri put his man’s foot on the ropes to break the count. Jerry chased Daivari around ringside and then, with a little help from scary ol’ Jim Ross, into the ring. But he didn’t get his hands on him. Instead Hassan caught him with the Flatliner for the three count.

Todd Grisham interviews Batista

Batista told Grisham that he was a wrecking machine and his chances in the chamber were “great.” Then Orton appeared and asked if Batista would try to win the title or be 'The Game's' stooge. Batista said he'd take his chance to become WHC.

Fun at the commentary desk

Coach strolled out and joined JR on commentary. He didn’t reveal why he hadn’t done this twenty minutes earlier. Instead he told Ross that he and ‘King’ sucked and that everyone in Puerto Rico loved him. Because Coach was a heel who said stuff like that at this point.

Snitky v Kane

This started with a recap. Snitsky had hit Kane with a chair. Kane had fallen on Lita. Lita had had a miscarriage. Kane had sworn revenge on Snitsky. Snitsky had launched his wildly popular “It wasn’t my fault!” catchphrase in reference to said miscarriage and put Kane out of action. Kane had returned, still angry with Snitsky. Eric Bischoff booked the pair in this match.

This pretty much sums up the entire Snitsky-Kane-Lita saga.

The most exciting thing about the match was Snitsky's music starting with his catchphrase. There were lots of punches and lots of kicks. There was also a fairly unnecessary exposed concrete spot. Kane won with a Tombstone, which is pretty solid evidence that WWE were keen to get the feud and Snitsky over: ‘The Big Red Machine’ only ever busted out that move to put away major threats.

Snitters never got over, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. He had a job until December 2008. Which is astonishing when you stop and think about it. He was truly, truly abysmal.

Poolside with the Divas IV: Citizens on Patrol

Stacey Keibler got off a sunbed and into the pool. Maria's footage was replayed. So was Christy’s. "I'm the breast - I mean best - at putting on tanning lotion,” said J-Lawl as we got another look at Candice rubbing her hands all over Christy.

Simon Dean appeared, drinking from a pineapple. JR instantly called him a party pooper. Seconds later Dean proved him right when he pushed a random lad into the pool. The girls were joined in the pool by Rosey, The Hurricane, Rob Conway and Val Venis for a “chicken fight” (the girls were put on the guys’ shoulders and tried to shove one another into the water). This “fun” ended when Christy pulled off Maria's top then pushed her into the pool. Coach said Maria was the winner. Lawler said we were all winners.

Recap video explaining why the World Heavyweight championship was vacated

Reigning champion Triple H defended the title in a triple threat match against Benoit and Edge. That ended when Edge reversed the Crippler Crossface into a pinning predicament but then tapped out just as the final count was made on Benoit’s shoulders. This prompted a return from Vince McMahon a week or two later (there have been so many Vince sabbaticals that I have no idea which one this was), who declared that GM Eric Bischoff would have to decide the title’s fate. Which presumably would have been a part the GM role anyway, but whatever.

Even though the finish made it fairly clear that either Benoit or Edge were the rightful champion Bisch decided the fairest thing to do would be to crown a new champion inside the Elimination Chamber, essentially muddying the waters by adding three names that definitely had no claim to being the World champ.

At the time this all happened I remember thinking that it was just an overly elaborate way of increasing the number of world title reigns for Triple H. Nine years later I still feel the same way.

Inside Evolution’s dressing room

H3 demanded to know why Batista said he'd go for the title. Big Dave clarified, saying he was an Evolution guy and that he had Triple H's back but that he'd go for the gold if Trips was eliminated before he got in. Flair and Triple H did not appreciate the final comment.

Eric Bischoff in-ring promo

Bisch strutted out to tell everyone the Chamber was one of his greatest creations and to remind that a new champion would be crowned. He finished by welcoming the crowd. That this promo happened at all was weird. That it happened before the main event and ended with Bischoff welcoming the crowd was even weirder.

World Heavyweight championship Elimination Chamber: Triple H v Chris Benoit v Randy Orton v Chris Jericho v Batista v Edge

The introductions took an age but the crowd were hot for everyone, which helped a lot. In terms of talent and name value I expected it to be one of the best Chamber matches ever.

Jericho and Benoit started things off with a compelling bit of technical wrestling. Tripper was the second man to enter. He immediately worked over both guys, throwing them out onto the steel. Benoit took the opportunity to blade.

Jericho back dropped Trips onto the steel and suplexed him back into the ring, then got back into it with Benoit as the next countdown rang out. Edge entered, spearing Jericho and DDTing Triple H for a two count. Out on the steel he blocked a pedigree and catapulted 'The Game' into the chains.

Batista's face...

Orton came in fifth and launched into his plucky babyface routine on Triple H. I feel compelled to point out that Orton was only twenty-four at this point. The crowd chanted for an RKO and got one when Orty came up against Jericho. A second attempt on Benoit was turned into a Crippler Crossface, which also met with the crowd’s approval. Triple H taunted Orton while he was in the hold so Benoit released it and put Trips in the Sharpshooter. Orton then recovered and floored Benoit with an RKO.

Edge went for a spear on Orton but Orton moved and Edge ran through Michaels. Moments later he got Orton with the move, but Michaels was still down and unable to make the count. Edge got in his face so Michaels super kicked him. Jericho took the opportunity to give Edge a Lionsault, which was enough to get him the pin and give us our first elimination. Aside from the closing moments this was the only sequence Michaels was involved in.

Benoit suplexed Trips after a Pedigree on Jericho, then followed up with a diving headbutt. The Canadians locked in dual submissions on ‘The Game’ as the final countdown kicked in and – ahem – ‘The Animal’ was unleashed. Batista leapt over the top rope into the ring to save his stablemate. He blasted through both Canadians and Orton then came face to face with Triple H. The other three men recovered and attacked before anything could happen. The tease was well received. It was one of many WWE employed on the path to convincing themselves Triple H v Batista was the direction to take for WrestleMania.

Benoit was eliminated next, falling to a spinebuster from Batista. Jericho fell to a Batista bomb soon after. That left just the two Evolution boys with their former teammate. It was a logical final three considering the history, but the crowd had seemed more invested in Jericho and Benoit.

H3 and 'The Animal' ganged up on Orton. ‘The Legend Killer’ kicked out of a Batista power slam, a Triple H spinebuster and a barrage of punches before firing up for a comeback. He floored Batista with an RKO and Triple H, thinking quickly, opted not to make the save. That was another sign: ‘The Cerebral Assassin’ didn’t want to be left alone with the powerhouse.

Orty and Trips had an energetic tussle. Triple H ate an RKO but Michaels was distracted by Flair trying to get into the cage, letting Batista, who still hadn’t exited, wallop Orton with a clothesline. Tripper hauled up Orton, giving him the highest wedgie in WWE main event history in the process, and smashed him with the match-winning Pedigree.

Evolution celebrated as the commentary gang talked up the bout and Triple H's tenth world title win.

Final thoughts

Further evidence this was all about title reigns.

I remembered this show for the main event but I wasn’t aware until rewatching it how little else there was on offer. It could have been far better than it was. Obviously Snitsky v Kane and Hassan v Lawler weren’t going to amount to much and the opener was about as good as it could get (injury aside) but the Intercontinental and women’s title matches could have been far better. The former was nothing but stalling. In total they had about eight minutes of ring time available. That was enough to have had a solid match. The women’s match might have been hampered by an injury. But if it wasn’t that was another let-down. Given four more minutes they could have had a very enjoyable bout.

The main event was worthwhile though. It actually provides a logical reason for why Batista and Orton got to the top in the first place: both pulled their weight here at a time when they were the junior members of the main event crew. I wouldn’t say it’s the best Chamber match ever, but that’s at least partly because Chambers matches don’t stick with me as much as Hell in a Cell and other big gimmick matches too. It was very good and worth checking out, and saved New Year’s Revolution from being the dreadful misfire it could have been.

That said, it could have worked just as well had Triple H’s title reign not been interrupted. There was no need for that beyond him hitting double figures.

NXTweet 04.09.14

There won’t be a tweet-up next week. Instead there’ll be a more traditional review of Takeover 2. And that’s this week’s hastily written intro!

Intro

Tweet 1: Alright, strap in. I'm about to spend an hour tweeting about NXT.

Tweet 2: Didn't enjoy that preview opening. Probably because it's not the NXT norm. And I think the NXT norm is pretty much perfect.

Alexa Bliss v Charlotte

Tweet 3: If Alexa Bliss is wrestling and the four title match guys are wrestling this is going to be one busy show.

Tweet 4: Does Charlotte have the most convoluted ring entrance in WWE? I think yes.
Tweet 5: What is Alexa's gimmick? Cheerleader? Fairy? Cheerleader fairy? The latter's a winner...
Tweet 6: That kneebuster Charlotte did was in no way a botch. IN NO WAY.
Tweet 7: I've knocked her for it, but Charlotte's Ric Flair tribute act is growing on me. The impersonation could be a lot worse. Woooooooooo!
Tweet 8: Dat Bayley's gonna hug you chant.
Tweet 9: I like her but Bayley's character would die a horrible death on RAW without some pretty severe tinkering.

Would 'Naitch' have covered people like this? 

Tyler Breeze vignette

Tweet 10: "Do they look like this?" - Tyler Breeze, sitting there in a purple furry coat

Tweet 11: Breeze's work getting that character over in thirty seconds was sensational. Easily one of the best things in NXT.
Tweet 12: The NXT title match at Takeover could realistically be won by any of the four guys in the match. Good job getting everyone over.
Tweet 13: That said I really want it to be Tyler Breeze. A change is needed after Neville's six month reign and he's the strongest character-wise.

Sin Cara and Kalisto talk to Devin Taylor

Tweet 14: Anyway... we now have Sin Cara and Kalisto chatting to Devin Taylor. Cara chatted in Spanish. Kalisto translated. Kind of a dick move.

Tweet 15: Kalisto there, saying he and Cara are a strong tag team. Nah. Not as strong as The Ascension.

Tye Dillinger v Tyler Breeze

Tweet 16: Tye Dillinger's lack of charisma would be best off in a tag team.

Tweet 17: Tyler Breeze. The third Young Buck.
Tweet 18: Tye played several seasons of "semi-professional" ice hockey, did he? Well that... that's certainly something.
Tweet 19: Lot of hip action from Breeze on that choke. #justsaying

Tyson Kidd vignette

Tweet 20: Tyson Kidd giving a heel promo his best shot there. In fairness it could've been a lot worse.

Enzo Amore and Big Cass hang out at a hairdresser’s called HAIR

Tweet 21: I reckon Enzo is based on a young Paul Heyman. But less arrogant.

Tweet 22: "You got that camera rollin'?" - Enzo Amore on an iPhone
Tweet 23: Hair removal cream spilled on a poodle. A clump of hair comes off in Enzo's hand. This is like Russo era WCW.
Tweet 24: That entire thing was designed to get over hair removal cream? I expect that kind of nonsense from TNA, not NXT.

Tyson Kidd v Adam Rose

Tweet 25: Guy in Rose's entourage looks like Shelton Benjamin.

Tweet 26: Tom Phillips just plugged the Takeover pre-show and promised plenty of surprises. How does he know there'll be surprises?
Tweet 27: That match was good but Rose hugn on in the Sharpshooter a bit too long for my liking.
Tweet 28: Had he tapped a bit quicker it would have gotten over Kidd's application of the hold. Would've made sense to establish he's good with it.

Crisp Sharpshooter application from Kidd.

Sami Zayn vignette

Tweet 29: Sami Zayn being a stand up babyface and saying he wants to pin the champ for the belt.

Sami Zayn v Marcus Louis

Tweet 30: Marcus Louis's music is incredibly lol.

Tweet 31: As is Sly Lefort's chest hair.
Tweet 32: NXT fans chanting “Canada” in support of Zayn is why I love that audience.
Tweet 33: I wish Sylvester Lefort was still an ineffectual manager. He was great as an ineffectual manager.
Tweet 34: Zayn wins via Koji Clutch. Marcus Louis tapped out almost immediately and so the hold's a little more over going into Takeover. See?!
Tweet 35: Enzo and Cass show up. Sly and Marcus run off. Enzo freaks out. Cass tries not to laugh. Standard sequence.

Don't be bullies. Be stars.

Adrian Neville vignette

Tweet 36: Adrian Neville looks like an orc.

Tweet 37: He did a promo about being bullied at school for looking like an orc. I think.

CJ Parker v Adrian Neville

Tweet 38: CJ 'The Truth' Parker.

Tweet 39: Want to know about the first time I was made aware of Adrian Neville? Course you do!
Tweet 40: Someone rang in to the old Talksport radio show and berated Alex Shane for not booking Neville (then PAC) for the FWA.
Tweet 41: Pretty sure the caller claimed that Shane had a southern bias. They definitely said PAC was the future of wrestling.
Tweet 42: First time I saw him wrestle? Some Dragon Gate show I watched online I think.
Tweet 43: Anyway... they're wrestling right now. CJ does some good shaky leg selling.

Sin Cara and Kalisto v The Vaudevillains

Tweet 44: Sin Cara's fist pumping is so halfhearted. I kind of respect him for very obviously not caring.

Tweet 45: #Vaudevillainspop
Tweet 46: Code of Honor status: followed.
Tweet 47: "Flipping into the attack there" - Tom Phillips, a man paid to be a commentator
Tweet 48: Decent match. Wrong team won though. People don't care about Sin Cara and Kalisto like they do the Vaudevillains.
Tweet 49: Plus Kalisto and El Local were the challengers on the last NXT spesh. Gotch and English would've given a fresher match.

The shirt always makes me think The Ascension should have a conspiracy theorist gimmick.

Tweet 50: Closing shot is The Ascension standing very still and holding their belts over their heads. Classic stuff.
Tweet 51: Best episode in a few weeks. I enjoyed that a lot. Every match did something for Takeover 2 and they trailed KENTA's debut just enough.

Vengeance 2006 review

The trouble with wrestling shows nowadays is that out and out stinkers are so rare. Most current shows from any company not named TNA are either acceptable with few or no standout performances or very good affairs with a number of memorable matches and storyline developments. And sometimes, when writing about a wrestling show, you don’t want that. You want something that pushes you to the limits of endurance and shows you just how bad wrestling can get.

There are two answers to this. The first is to review TNA shows. I imagine that in years to come a lot of people will enjoy looking back and analysing the nonsense TNA currently puts out. But to do it as the company’s still in existence isn’t something I want to do. Because it’s depressing that a major company can exist and be as poor as TNA in 2014. Not paying much attention to it is about the only defence I have against it.

The other answer is to look back at old shows that are notoriously bad. I decided to go for this one, but I wanted to watch something and be surprised by the matches that were taking place and the results that cropped up in them. That could have made picking something pretty tricky, because can you can’t gauge a show’s likely quality until you know what’s on it.

Thankfully WWE produced a lengthy run of dismal pay-per-views in the mid-00s. You can pick out pretty much anything at random from around 2003 until 2008 or so and be pretty much guaranteed a rock solid unenjoyable experience.

That’s what I decided to do, and I selected Vengeance. For no other reason that it was readily available to watch. It will differ from my reviews of current events only slightly, in that I’ll take a break after each match to discuss where the guys involved are now. So, let’s get to it.

We start, as always, with a video package. This one focused on John Cena's problems with the concept of ECW, Rob Van Dam's feud with Edge, and DX's war with Vince McMahon and his troupe of male cheerleaders. I'll discuss all of that as we get to it. All you need to know here is that in June 2006 Rob Van Dam was the WWE champion, Edge was coming into his own as a dickish heel who would do anything to stay on top, John Cena had been the most pushed top act for over a year and resentment over that was beginning to bubble away with more vocal crowds, and Triple H and Shawn Michaels were frequently involved in "hilarious" skits featuring spray paint, slime, midgets, bare buttocks, and Jonathan Coachman.

On commentary in Charlotte, North Carolina were Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler. Immediately noticeable is how JR can make a show prominently featuring the Spirit Squad seem exciting.

The first guy to enter the arena was a pre-sleeves Randy Orton with his old Burn in My Light music and gold curtain pyro entrance pose. Fans of his in-ring turnbuckle pose needn't worry. That was an integral part of his act by this point. He was representing RAW against ECW's Kurt Angle. This was during the period where Angle's music was remixed so people didn't get the chance to chant "You suck!" (although they still gave it a shot). I thought that was a stupid decision at the time and I still think so now. That kind of audience chant should be embraced.

This makes the match look far more lively than it was.

At this point you're probably thinking "Wow! Angle versus Orton opening a pay-per-view, that's pretty promising!" And you're not wrong. It should be incredible. But it wasn't. It quickly became obvious that both men had entered the match as heels and neither seemed particularly liked by the fans. That meant that the match took a while to warm up, something not helped by a focus on slow mat wrestling for the first few minutes. With nobody knowing who to cheer for and neither wrestler willing to embrace the good guy role the match didn't come anywhere close to meeting its potential. I'm not especially knowledgeable about Orton v Angle matches but I wouldn't be surprised if this was their worst encounter. And just to top things off Lawler seemed dead set on making anti-ECW gags every thirty seconds.

Despite all of this the crowd were loud throughout the entire thing. And things came together for the closing sequence, which helped. Orton was trapped in an ankle lock for a bit before reversing out of it, driving Kurt into an exposed turnbuckle (ah, the exposed turnbuckle, it's a classic) and giving him an RKO for the win.

***

What they did next:

Randy Orton: He’s been up and down the card but he’s never been too far away from the top. Other than a few tattoos, taunt variations, and entrance rejigs Orton has remained unchanged.

Kurt Angle: 2006 is the year Angle went spectacularly off the rails. WWE released him on August 2006 because they were concerned over his physical well-being and didn’t think Angle was willing to take things easy for his own safety. Angle has claimed he asked for a release because he was unwilling to work hurt. So both sides agree on the reason, just not on the topic of whether Kurt jumped or was pushed.

We all know the basic Angle story from there. He joined TNA and immediately had a stellar feud with Samoa Joe. He spent several years flipping between good guy and bad guy as his body continued to deteriorate. Like, really badly deteriorate. To the point where he looked like a frail old man. He’s currently making noises about leaving TNA when his contract expires and returning to WWE for one final, glorious run. It’s currently unknown whether or not WWE would have any interest in him as a performer.

***

Backstage Vince McMahon was having one of those one-sided recap conversations that used to be so popular with WWE heels (and that have recently started to go out of style with behind the times TNA heels). He was telling someone about how the Spirit Squad would never forget DX dumping green slime on them on RAW. I'd like to imagine it was Linda and that it's how she and Vince communicate. Someone knocked on the door so Vince wrapped up his convo. You'd assume the person knocking would be a wrestler. Perhaps the Spirit Squad seeking advice before their match or a mid-carder like Charlie Haas asking for an ill-defined "opportunity". Or maybe DX, come to play more "hilarious" pranks on the boss.

It was none of them. It was a young lad in a wheelchair. Vince assumed it was a DX prank and referenced some of their comedy gold (including roosters, space aliens and corporate genitalia). Then he got angry and heeled the kid out of his office. A crash was heard, the implication being the kid was harmed. He wouldn't appear on the show again so we'll never know his fate.

Coach wandered in to make a poor segment worse. In 2006 Coach was regularly paired up with Vince for comedy segments like this one. Despite being routinely bad they held a certain appeal thanks to Coach's willingness to do and say pretty much anything and Vince's ability to perform funny facial expressions. Here Coach handed over a penis pump he'd found lying outside and revealed that the young kid in the wheelchair was a close family friend he'd invited to the show who considered Vince his idol. Sadly they didn't explain why a kid of about eight considered Vince McMahon his idol. That could have been excellent.

Match two featured another surprise mid-00s highlight: the combo of Umaga and Armando Alejandro Estrada. Umaga, a savage-inspired character who could only be controlled by Estrada, had debuted a few months earlier. The man behind the gimmick had previously been best known as Jamal, half of the sloppy but still underrated 3 Minute Warning tag team. He'd mostly been winning squash matches until this point. It was the Alexander Rusev push for 2006.

Umaga was facing Eugene. That's not a sentence anyone ever wants to read. Ever. Under any circumstances.

The monster that is Eugene, finally slain.

Because Umaga was unstoppable at this point and Eugene, well, was not unstoppable, Eugene had found himself some backup. While that was a sound idea all he'd been able to drum up was Jim Duggan, Doink the Clown (yeah really, Doink the clown in 2006) and Kamala (sadly without Kim Chee or Harvey Wippleman). And then a match happened. It was not pleasant. But it was quick. Umaga squashed Eugene with the Samoan spike (a thumb to the throat which, against all the odds, became an over finish). Just to illustrate how dangerous Umaga was he obliterated Duggan and Doink after the match. Estrada made him walk away from Kamala though. Which was absolutely the right call. A young upstart 33-year-old shouldn't be facing a legend like Kamala unless it's been advertised beforehand. You don't give a quality meeting like that away unannounced.

***

What they did next:

Eugene: By this point the Eugene character was on a downhill slide. As an adult with special needs he had been introduced as the nephew of Eric Bischoff in 2004 and quickly become insanely popular. He’d managed to stay relevant into 2005 but by this point crowds had become tired of him and it’s hard not to see why. He was a one note, exploitative character that had a limited shelf life. His future held an ill-conceived heel turn and contract termination.

Umaga: To this surprise of anyone who remembered his time as a member of 3 Minute Warning Umaga became a very reliable upper mid-card singles act. His undefeated streak would continue until the end of the year, at which point he would enter into a feud with Cena, which included a Last Man Standing meeting at the ’07 Royal Rumble which still stands as one of Cena’s greatest matches.

Umaga would also go on to win the Intercontinental championship and enjoy feuds with names such as Jeff Hardy, Batista and Triple H. Not bad for a guy who had been released in 2003 for being involved in a bar fight and generally not being very good. Umaga was granted a contract release in 2008 following a disputed Wellness Policy violation.

He died of a heart attack in December 2009.

***

Backstage Mick Foley spoke to Todd Grisham. This was during Foley’s infamous feud with Ric Flair. Basically, Fley and Flair didn’t like one another. As in they really didn’t like one another and had gotten into screaming matches backstage over things that they’d written about each other in their biographies. Foley had criticised Flair for being a poor boss and booker in WCW. Flair had labelled Foley a “glorified stunt man”, almost certainly as revenge for the cracks Foley had made about him. Both men had large egos and were not willing to back down.

For some reason somebody in WWE thought it would be a good idea to turn the real life hatred into a storyline. It’s a logic that had worked in wrestling many times before (I’ll give the lazy examples of Hart and Michaels’ feud and the fact that Austin and Rock really didn’t like each other when they started working together). The trouble was that Flair and Foley were both physically knackered. They both relied heavily on shortcuts and their opponents making them look good. Plus Foley had turned heel a few months before and had been doing his best work as a face for years at this point. And, y’know, Flair was pretty much one of the most natural heels ever. It was obvious from the start that match quality was going to be poor. Things only got worse when Foley and Flair started cutting insider promos on each other that only people who follow the inner workings of pro wrestling (which is a minority in WWE’s fan base) and things that had happened around a decade earlier. That this got televised shows you what sort of company WWE was during this period. Everything about it was a spectacular mess. But it remains incredibly watchable stuff because of just how low things got.

At Vengeance they were booked in a two-out-of-three falls match because Foley wanted to prove he was a wrestler and not a stunt artiste. Being held in Charlotte meant that Mick was going to definitely be playing the bad guy, a role I’ve already said he was ill-suited for at this point. Because North Carolina is Flair country. Woooooo!

First the factual stuff. Flair won two falls to none. He got the first fall off an inside cradle as Foley went for a figure four. Then Foley got disqualified when he used a trash can (or, if you will, a rubbish bin) while trapped in the hold himself.

Mr Sockoooooo... Nah doesn't work. Sorry.

The match was a mess. The promise that Foley would outwrestle Flair, which had been a significant part of the build-up was gleefully ignored. Which was disappointing because it could have been an interesting story: Foley actually managing to surprise 'Naitch' and push him to his limit, forcing him to pull out every cheat in his arsenal (which in Charlotte would have gotten a great reaction) would have been an interesting story that’s wasn’t (and isn’t) seen much in WWE. It's not actually that surprising though. I’ve already said both guys were passed their respective peaks and incapable of working a match without shortcuts (which here included a special Mr Socko designed to look like Flair). What we got was what both men were capable of in 2006.

Foley smashed 'The Nature Boy' with a barbed wire baseball bat after the decision. Flair bled. A lot. He was helped to the back but didn't really make out he was in any particular pain despite being drenched in his own blood. It came across as Flair wanting to prove he could play the hardcore hero better than Foley.

***

What they did next:

Mick Foley: He jumped to TNA and filled a variety of roles, including on-air authority figure and champion. He returned to WWE when he realised how terrible TNA was. He dressed up as Santa a few Christmases ago and acted as the GM of Saturday Morning Slam before it was unceremoniously cancelled. He spent the rest of his time making special appearances on RAWs and pay-per-views before letting his contract expire, opting not to re-sign because he felt he wasn’t being paid fairly for video game licensing.

Ric Flair: He joined Foley in TNA. He mostly worked as a manager there, representing guys as far apart on the quality scale as Gunner and AJ Styles. He wrestled a few times but the less said about that the better. The most noteworthy part of Flair’s TNA run, at least for the purposes of the show we’re talking about here, was that he resumed his rivalry with Foley. They were getting on better by then but both were older, so the match quality balanced out at around the same level.

Since his return to WWE last year Flair has made various appearances on pay-per-view expert panels, episodes of RAW and at the SummerSlam Axxess event. He was hammered at pretty much all of them. In fact he was so out of control at SummerSlam that Jim Ross was fired for failing to control him (yes, you read that correctly). Oh, and he also pulled the classic Flair trick of burying someone he disliked. In this case it was Daniel Bryan, the day before he was due to defeat John Cena for the WWE championship.

Basically, Ric Flair has continued to be Ric Flair. Woooooooooooo!!

***

This got pay-per-view time.

In the back Maria and Carlito discussed coolness and paradoxes. Then Torrie Wilson showed up in a bikini. Carlito held her puppies as she and Maria went off to rub baby oil on one another, something that was actually shown and given time on a pay-per-view. Carlito provided some commentary on that before his music hit. Things like this used to happen all the time. We didn't even question why Torrie was prepping for a photo shoot in the middle of a pay-per-view. It was a more naive time.

'Caribbean Cool's' match was a triple threat for the Intercontinental championship. His opponents were Johnny Nitro and champ Shelton Benjamin. Carlito was by this point a bland babyface. Nitro was still doing his red carpet entrance with Melina and was just starting out on the cheap heat route of blocking particularly revealing shots of his scantily clad girlfriend. Shelton Benjamin was probably even more bland than Carlito but was trying to hide it by wearing sunglasses and loud shirts to the ring.

What's most striking looking back at this match now is that the three all seemed like they were going to be something significant for WWE at one point or another and yet none of them managed it. They were victims of the mid-00s lax approach to star building. If these guys, as they were back then, debuted in today's system they'd stand a far better chance of being helped to the top, because while the current system is far from perfect it is at least structured to give new guys a chance at getting over. The quality of the match demonstrated they all could have achieved far more during this period had they been allowed to just go to the ring and wrestle their metaphorical socks off more frequently. They put on a great match and the crowd were into it. That sounds like an ideal second tier championship match to me.

Nitro won the championship (his first reign) off a Carlito back cracker on Shelton. The two losers looked upset while Nitro spent an she standing around grinning and posing at the top of the entrance ramp.

***

What they did next:

Shelton Benjamin: Independent circuit, Ring of Honor, and New Japan.

Carlito: Independent circuit and the WWC.

Johnny Nitro: Became John Morrison. Independent circuit, stand-up comedy, film directing, and continued dating Melina (which makes him the winner).

***

Backstage we found the Spirit Squad screaming at one another about destroying DX. Then Vince entered and joined in, because no young pups are out-hollering the boss. The Squad left so Vince had a look at the penis pump box Coach had handed him earlier. In a toile, which was probably for the best. Nobody needs to see that much of Vinnie Mac. An explosion was heard and then he came out with some green paint lightly dabbed on his face.

"That damned DX!" said Vince, like a character from a rubbish 70s sitcom. What would those crazy DX kids do next?!

Out at ringside Jerry Lawler said we'd just witnessed a booby-trapped penis pump. His laughter indicated that this was one of the most spectacular things that had ever happened to him.

A video package reminded us of RVD's Money in the Bank win and cash-in on Cena at the One Night Stand show. Van Dam won that match after interference from Edge. 'The Rated R Superstar' made an appearance on ECW's TV show to say he respected RVD and looked forward to tearing the house down with him. But then he speared him, because mid-00s Edge was full of dick moves like that. He also had boob job Lita at his side. There was a lot to like about him.

Edge cut a pre-match promo about how the Stanley Cup (a hockey award of some prestige) was won for North Carolina by Canadians, comparable to how he'd beaten Cena for 'Mr Monday Night'. Then he claimed he'd win the gold and have a live sex celebration afterwards. RVD didn't get to respond, but he was introduced simply as "the champion" by Lilian Garcia, which was something.

A rare excuse to put up a picture of RVD as WWE champion.

This match is not as well remembered as it deserves because of the reasons Van Dam would end up losing the title. It's famous for the reason why he lost it. A few weeks after the match RVD would test positive for a substance banned by WWE's Wellness Policy. If you're familiar with Van Dam's past you can probably hazard a guess as to what that substance was. That violation meant Rob had to be written off TV for thirty days. His reign as a double champion was cut short. The decision was made that he'd lose the WWE belt to Edge on the July 3 RAW. The next night he dropped the ECW strap to Big Show.

But we're concerned with Vengeance. The match the two men had here was excellent and showed that Edge had been sincere when he'd said he wanted to steal the show. They packed an incredible amount into their eighteen minutes: tonnes of counter wrestling, plenty of moonsaults, and a satisfying number of big bump spots. Particularly impressive moments included a sunset bomb to the floor from Edge to Van Dam, a cross body over the top rope down to the floor from RVD, an Edge power bomb onto the crowd barrier, and Edge countering the tumbling senton into a power slam. Plus all the usual spots you'd get from both, which is a fair few. The match stands as an example of why RVD originally became popular and why Edge made it as far as he did. Van Dam won a cracker of a match with the Five Star frog splash. Edge had speared a chair and knocked himself out seconds before.

***

What they did next:

Rob Van Dam: RVD was another guy who made a jump over to TNA. He was booked fairly well for a year or two, capturing the TNA world championship in decent storyline which quickly became a mess. Inevitably TNA lost interest in him and he drifted down into the mid-card. He left last year, after being given the X Division championship for literally no reason at all, and returned to WWE at Money in the Bank. He’s not done anything major yet and I don’t think he will. But at least he’s getting pay now. That’s nice for him.

Edge: Between 2006 and his unexpected in retirement in 2011 Edge became one of WWE’s premier talents. His list of accomplishments include multiple WWE and World Heavyweight championship reigns, being the de facto lead figure on SmackDown for years on end, and giving Undertaker one of his finest Streak matches ever. 2006 was the breakout year for ‘The Rated R Superstar’ and he would go from strength to strength.

***

Backstage ECW wrestlers such as Roadkill, Stevie Richards and Little Guido celebrated their boy's victory with alternating chants of ECW and RVD. Then Paul Heyman sauntered in and told the locker room that they'd be joined as lumberjacks by some RAW wrestlers. He acknowledged nobody liked the decision but said it was happening anyway. Why, if nobody liked it?

At this point I was beginning to get worried that the show hadn't been as comedically bad as I'd hoped. Then, as if to prove me wrong, Kane's music played. And this wasn't just any Kane match. This was the Kane versus imposter Kane match. This is the sort of storyline that has routinely been thrust at Glenn Jacobs throughout his fifteen plus years as Kane. Basically Kane's gimmick had by this point become that anything too lunatic to be done to the Undertaker could be done to him. At this point that list included the famed Katie Vick necrophilia angle, a feud with Matt Hardy over who to marry Lita, and a feud with Snitsky over an aborted child .

The match was not a pleasant experience, for a number of reasons. Drew Hankinson, the man now known as Doc Gallows in New Japan, was not very good at this point. Neither was Kane, although he was at least a known quantity audiences were willing to react to. The biggest problem was that fans were not interested in the Kane v Kane angle, amusing themselves with chants of "Boring!" and "Take the mask off!" instead of reacting to things as WWE wanted. It's hard to blame them. It was never clear what Fake Kane wanted, what Real Kane stood to lose, why anyone should care who won and who lost, or where the story was heading. As it turned out the fake won with a choke slam and the cover Real Kane used to do after performing a Tombstone.

***

What they did next:

Real Kane: Any insane wrestling idea you can think of. And a bunch you can’t.

Fake Kane: Became Festus, then Luke Gallows, then DOC, then Doc Gallows.

***

At this point you might be wondering what the official theme song of Vengeance 2006 was. Well I'll tell you, because it was plugged at this point of the show. It was Victim by Eighteen Visions. Jerry Lawlerp loved it, so you know it was good.

The Cena v Sabu video package reminded us of Cena's hard night at the second One Night Stand event and subsequent feud with ECW at large. That's a feud, just so you know, that included Cena decking Heyman, wrestling a match on RAW with Balls Mahoney and getting put through the announce desk by Sabu. There were loads of shots of all the ECW guys hanging around together during the video. That included Tommy Dreamer and Sandman: who had once had a lengthy feud that included Sandman pretending he was blind so that he could attack Dreamer with a cane. But they're BFFs now LOL!

JR put over how tough and dangerous Sabu is not by pointing out the scars that crisscross his body or discussing the ridiculous death matches he'd been a part of but by saying he "allegedly" glued his wounds up after matches. It didn't destroy the myth of Sabu or anything as melodramatic as that but it didn't do the match any favours. Most people watching wouldn't have had a clue who Sabu was or why he was a tougher opponent for Cena than, say, Tommy Dreamer. It would've been nice if Ross had done everything he could to put him over as a madman who'd take himself apart in order to beat Cena. But for whatever reason he couldn't be bothered or was directed not to.

The RAW lumberjacks are a fascinating insight into the roster of the time. Names such as Rob Conway, Trevor Murdoch, Garrison Cade and, perhaps the epitome of this era of the WWE mid-card, Gene Snitsky were on offer here. If that doesn't excite you on a so-bad-it's-good level there's something wrong with you.

'The Homicidal, Suicidal and Genocidal Freak'... and Sabu

The setup was a mess. Cena had been booked as a valiant face taking on an entire company. But this was the beginning of fandom's turn on Cena, which meant people had not rallied behind him as fully as expected. Meanwhile ECW, which had a rep as the underdog fed, had been booked as a bunch of heels against Cena but were also being launched as their own show, meaning many of them had also had thoroughly babyface moments. Just to thoroughly confuse things the RAW lumberjacks stationed at ringside by Vince, to even the odds, were all heels (with the possible exception of Charlie Haas). So Cena, who was becoming firmly established as an unbeatable face, was taking on a roster of underdog misfits and was backed up by bad guys. Or, to put it another way, John Cena was working a Sabu style match with Sabu surrounded by a bunch of jobbers.

As wacky stunt matches go it was pretty satisfying. Cena and Sabu lobbed chairs at each other, the triple jump offence got an airing, Cena took some Sandman cane shots, and Sabu was FUed out of the ring through a table. Cena won with the STF as the RAW guys held back the ECW guys. Yeah, Sabu tapped out, something he's known for disliking. JR did at least emphasise the rarity of a Sabu submission. That was something, but it could have meant slightly more if Sabu had been established we the embodiment of insanity before the match began.

Immediately after the match Cena wandered backstage and ran into RVD. They agreed to a title match on RAW. "Pack all you got, bro," were Cena's sage words of advice to Van Dam. He said stuff like that a fair amount back in 2006.

***

What they did next:

John Cena: For better or for worse he is still John Cena.

Sabu: Somehow managed to stay employed by WWE until May 2007, at which point he was released for unspecified reasons. He returned to working to working for smaller promotions and took some bookings in Mexico. The most significant thing I can remember Sabu doing since 2007 is facing Sami Callihan at a Dragon Gate USA (or possibly EVOLVE) show. Although he also made an appearance or two for TNA in 2010.

***

The pre-match video for DX v SS started out with Shawn Michaels' face being rubbed against Vince McMahon's bare backside. That's a fairly accurate snapshot of what RAW had been for a while at this point. Vince wanted to teach Shawn a lesson about not being disrespectful. So he roped in five cheerleaders and Triple H to rough him up. 'The Game' ended up turning face on his allies, refusing to smash his old pal's skull and instead jobbing out the Squad. Tripper was taken apart in a five-on-one handicap match, then Shawn Michaels returned the favour and made the save. The two officially reunited and embarked on a campaign of hilarity the likes of which WWE had never seen before. Everything was covered: Vince loves cocks gags, male stripograms, penis pumps, and graffitied magazine covers, it was all on offer.

Throw your hands up in the air and wave them around like you just don't care!

A five-on-two handicap match was inevitable. It was also a guaranteed way to bury five new talents. Not that the squad gimmick was destined for the top, but it could have been used to launch one or two guys into singles careers and another two into a tag team. But that wasn't a priority. The priority was relaunching DX as a nostalgia brand that could make periodic returns to WWE and bring in some merch sales.

More than any other PPV main event I can remember this one felt like a dark match that goes on after the end of RAW. The DX lads did their pre-match shtick and the audience went crazy for it. Then the Spirits came out to absolutely zero reaction. It should be noted that the Squad held the tag straps at this point. It gives you an idea of what sort of state the roster was in.

Had this been in the middle of the card it probably would have been fine. Completely forgettable, but inoffensive. Exactly what D-Generation X versus the Spirit Squad should be in other words. But it wasn't in the middle of the card it was the main event and as a main event it was not good. The psychology of the match was all off. Instead of worrying about the significant numbers advantage their opponents had Triple H and Michaels larked about and never seemed to be taking things seriously. That that hurt the Spirits' chances for advancement isn't the point. They weren't getting to the top under that gimmick anyway. The problem was that it made it hard to get into the match: if DX weren't taking a five-on-two situation seriously why should we? The finish saw Kenny take a pedigree and nicky take a sweet chin music for a double pin. Several minutes of posing then ensued before the broadcast finished.

***

What they did next

Triple H: Became Vince McMahon 2.0.

Shawn Michaels: Continued to be one of the best wrestlers ever. Then retired before he lost his touch.

This happened for a while.

Kenny: Finished up his feud with DX, returned to developmental and then returned to the main roster as Kenny Dykstra. Everyone thought he would be the member of the Spirit Squad that became a somebody. Everyone was wrong. Dykstra proved to be an athletic dude but didn’t have a good enough understanding of the character work pro wrestlers need to make it to the top to advance beyond the mid-card. He was outshone by…

Nicky: He became a caddy to Kerwin White then disappeared before returning as Dolph Ziggler. Maybe you’ve heard of him?

Mikey: He never received another crack at becoming a somebody in WWE. He was released in 2008. In 2010 he wangled himself a spot in Ring of Honor thanks to the reign of error instigated by Jim Cornette. He held onto his spot until 2013 before getting released. He now works mostly for Ohio Valley Wrestling. Presumably his work is enjoyed there.

Johnny: Um…

Mitch: … I’ve got nothing.

***

Final thoughts:

As mid-00s pay-per-views go this was nowhere near as bad as it could have been, or as bad as I was hoping for. Kane versus Kane and Foley versus Flair were bad but that was about it. The triple threat match and Edge v Van Dam were both great. The main event was more a peculiarity than an out and out failure. The Umaga v Eugene match avoided the bad bin by being about a minute and a half long and having Umaga destroy two other guys afterwards. Vengeance 2006 could have been a far worse affair than it was.

Next time I’ll try a SmackDown show. Those are the real stinkers.