WWE Royal Rumble 2016 preview

At this point it's pretty much a tradition that the Royal Rumble "poster" feature a bunch of guys from the entire roster, most of whom have no hope of winning the match and headlining WrestleMania. It's a simple way of reminding everyone of the titular match's basic premise in a way that harkens back to the old "anything can happen" slogan. On a simpler level it gives the posters a bit of variety by featuring guys who'd otherwise never make it onto them.

This year that tradition has been sidestepped. Instead of twenty- or thirty-odd names we have Roman Reigns, WWE world title belt slung over his shoulder and a smouldering pout playing on his lips. This vision keeps Reigns strong, always a priority for WWE these days, but it also makes it tough to predict anyone but him winning the Rumble.

And it's at this point that I acknowledge that, yes, Reigns is the champ. Yes, the champ doesn't usually fight in the Rumble, what with the winner of the Rumble being awarded a world title shot at WrestleMania and all. This year that's been changed. The match is no longer for the right to challenge for the title, it's for the title.

In reality I imagine this has been done to keep the product lovely and interesting. If that's the case it's a move that's failed. WWE has become so dry and tiresome to watch that it's going to take a concerted long term plan and a great deal of effort to bring about the changes needed. Quick hits like altering the purpose of the Rumble or booking a Brock Lesnar appearance aren't enough.

In kayfabe the change was made by Vince McMahon as part of his feud with Roman Reigns. Because Roman won't conform to The Authority's idea of what a champion should be they're determined to get the title off him by stacking the deck against him. Sound familiar? It should. This is the format WWE's been using to establish main event faces since it worked with Steve Austin. The problem with it is obvious: Roman Reigns is not Austin. I don't mean this in terms of promo skills, ring work or personality (although it applies to all of them), I mean it in terms of character. The entire point of Austin was that he hated how he'd been held down by the business in general and the Mr McMahon character was the perfect foil for that.

Roman doesn't really have much of a character to speak of. There's nothing for him to be bitter or frustrated about. He has very obviously and openly been fast-tracked to the top of the company. He hasn't overcome any major setbacks and he hasn't had the real life fight to get his spot that Austin had. Which means presenting him as an underdog against malicious ol' Vinnie Mac won't get anyone anywhere: people can't accept Roman as the underdog we're told he is.

Because it's the established formula Roman seems like the only possible winner. As the babyface champion who the heel authority figures are out to screw over he is, ironically, the favourite to win. Because WWE's top lads always overcome the odds. Got to let the kids know they can believe in their heroes, right?

In fairness it's worth mentioning that had Reigns not been added to the Rumble the match it would have been decidedly light on star power (because he and someone else would have had a separate singles match). Rollins, Cena and Orton are injured. Not many people would have wanted to see the latter two win but they would have been credible contenders. That's what you want with a match with thirty participants. In addition to them Cesaro is injured. He wasn't going to win but he was popular enough to merit a lengthy stay in the match.

I have other predictions for the Rumble match that don't pertain to the winner. I expect the Wyatt clan will be responsible for Lesnar being eliminated, possibly after he's mown through all or most of them (if it's most then Bray will be the guy to survive). Kofi Kingston's annual "OMG did you see how he survived elimination?!" spot will likely involve his New Day tag partners. Maybe he'll stand on their shoulders or run across their backs or Big E will catch him or something. AJ Styles will debut to a good reaction because the Rumble is big enough to attract the sort of crowd that will know who he is and care. I can see him lasting long enough to get all his big moves in (though probs not the neck-breaking Styles Clash) before being eliminated, something the crowd will loudly boo even though 'The Phenomenal One' clearly isn't going to win the WWE world title on his first night in the company. I'm also confident not enough will be done with the comedic potential of Curtis Axel being in the Rumble.

The rest of the card is made up exclusively of title matches, which seems somehow appropriate for what has become the second most important card on the WWE calendar. Kevin Owens and Dean Ambrose will continue their run of PPV singles outings with a Last Man Standing match. It's rare for a stip like this to be busted out for the IC title these days. It's nice to see here. It can only help restore some of the lustre that's been lost over the years. It should also play to the brawl-heavy strengths of KO and 'The Lunatic Fringe'. It could end up being the best entry in their feud. Either could win because it feels like this is a rivalry of equals where either guy could win on any night, but I'll pick Ambrose to retain because he's not had the title too long.

Becky Lynch will challenge out-and-heel Charlotte 'Don't Mention Her Surname' Flair. Everything here is set up for the two women to succeed. Charlotte is playing the arrogant, snarky heel she's far better suited to at this point in her career and Lynch is established in a plucky underdog role, almost the main roster version of Bayley. They're more familiar with one another than a lot of other combinations the women's division could throw up, handy for the still-relatively-inexperienced 'Nature Girl'. And the setup of the Rumble card means that they should get plenty of time to have a good match.

A Lynch victory isn't out of the question but I think Charley retaining is far likelier. If WWE want her to be one of the key players for the Divas scene for years to come she needs to be established as someone who wins a lot. A lengthy first title reign wouldn't hurt there. She's currently at three months and while that's not insignificant it's not anything special either. A run until WrestleMania or beyond is what Charlotte needs to set her up as a somebody.

The last two matches are Kalisto challenging Alberto Del Rio for the United States championship and the Usos challenging New Day for the tag championship. Kalisto had a one day reign a few weeks ago (three in TV time) when he won the belt from ADR before losing it back ok SmackDown. Why he lost it back so soon (or at all) is a bit of a mystery. Perhaps it was to make things unpredictable. Whatever the reason I think Kalisto will get the belt again here and keep it this time. 

Match quality between Kalisto and 'The Essence of Excellence' will be questionable. They've not clicked in previous meetings. They'll need to switch things up to make a good impression here. The tag title match, meanwhile, should be very good. New Day are always on form and the Usos have become one of WWE's most reliable tandems. I don't want to see a title switch but I think we might. New Day have had the belts since SummerSlam and I suspect management will be itching to changes things for change's sake.

No matter how well the undercard matches do it's the Rumble that will determine whether this show is remembered well or not. With it looking about as predictable as the last two years' have (and let's pause for a second and note that Roman Reigns has been involved in fan backlash in the closing moments of the Rumble in both of those matches) I won't be getting my hopes up on Sunday night.

***

Predictions summary:

Roman Reigns to win the Royal Rumble and retain the WWE championship
Dean Ambrose to defeat Kevin Owens to retain the Intercontinental championship
Charlotte to defeat Becky Lynch to retain the Divas championship
The Usos to defeat New Day to win the tag team championship
Kalisto to defeat Alberto Del Rio for the United States championship

WWE Hell in a Cell 2015 review

Hell in a Cell was always going to struggle to be a fully satisfying show. The reliance on rematches made it seem a very familiar card. And if there's one thing that hinders a wrestling card more than anything else it's bouts feeling overly familiar. The main event was actually something first seen thirteen years ago, for example. There was no way to disguise it and so WWE didn't bother, they simply didn't acknowledge it. Which was the smartest thing they could do in the circumstances but longer term it may be nice if they could maybe plan ahead and change things up a little to avoid something like this happening again.

The opening segment saw John Cena stride out and issue his Open Challenge. He didn't spend too much time getting to it and it was accepted by... Zeb Colter. Yes, really. Zeb Colter in John Laurinaitis's scooter. He cut a promo about people with differing views and from different countries coming together before introducing his new client: reigning AAA mega champion Alberto Del Rio. Guess they came to terms after ADR realised he was burning through bridges too quickly outside of WWE.

Another former world champion taking a backwards step in terms of titles.

 'Mexico's Greatest Export' was given a hero's welcome by the LA crowd, getting chants of "Si!" and "Welcome back!" as Michael Cole hyped him up to remind viewers why they should care about him being Cena's challenger. Sadly the crowd died down early in the eight minute match and didn't seem interested in waking back up, despite some good work from Cena and Del Rio, before the finish. That saw ADR slip out of an AA to hit Cena with a backstabber and a super kick, pinning Cena clean.

The pairing of ADR and Zeb Colter is peculiar but there's time for it to be fleshed out and given context. Del Rio doesn't do a huge amount for me as a wrestler but it's nice to see someone being added to the roster who can freshen things up a bit. WWE's improved considerably over the last year but additions are always welcome in a company so keen on recycling. He was introduced in a strong fashion too: not just anybody gets to pin Cena clean. Notably not even WWE champ Seth Rollins has been permitted that honour.

We were then treated (and I use that term loosely) to a backstage segment with The Authority. Rollins hyped himself up and Triple H and Steph mentioned his match with Kane. The Director of Operations then showed up, showed us his marvellous take on a multiple personality gimmick, and was dismissed by Trips. It was boring.

The long-running rivalry between Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt was settled after that in the night's first Hell in a Cell match. Don't let the fact that they've only had two singles matches on pay-per-view fool you, these two have been at odds for a while. Specifically since June when 'The Eater of Worlds' returned from a TV absence and cost Reigns the briefcase. After a few weeks of awkward but well-produced segments revolving around Reigns' daughter (awkward mostly because of how clearly uncomfortable Reigns was with the situation) the pair settled into a more natural take n the family feud, specifically the revival of their Shield versus Wyatt Family dynamic. Wyatt brought Luke Harper back into the fold and debuted Braun Strowman while Reigns called on his bessie mate Dean Ambrose and a string of ragtag helpers to wage his war.

The long-running Wyatt v Reigns spat is finally over. Breathe a sigh of relief.

Basically this HIAC match had to pay off a fair bit of story, the vast majority of which had been underwhelming, in addition to the standard requirement of keeping Roman looking strong and giving him a hot match. Pleasingly, it accomplished both. This was all down to the keenness of both men to make the match good. This wasn't the best Cell match ever, nor did it break the years-long trend of these matches being a bit pointless, but it was engaging and accomplished everything it needed to. They used chairs, tables and kendo sticks to make an impact en route to Reigns going over with a spear.

The awkward post-Cell lull spot was handed to the Dudley Boyz and New Day. Big E and Kofi cut a typically entertaining pre-match promo about Xavier Woods being injured. They also danced. Then the Dudleys came out and we were subjected to another subpar match between the two teams (the highlight of which was a spectacular inverted Rocker Dropper botch by the Duds). New Day won after E hit Bubba with a broken trombone and Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise.

I like both of these teams but this feud has been uninventive after an initially good week or two and we've yet to see any good matches come out of it. It may be time to accept they don't have especially good chemistry, switch the belts in a tables match, and do something new. Continuing like this will achieve nothing.

Nikki bella got her Divas title rematch against Charlotte after that. All seconds were banned from ringside to ensure a fair match. The storyline reason was that this created a fair playing field. I suspect the real life reason may have been some sort of test to see how Charlotte did in a singles pay-per-view match with just her, an opponent and a referee.

Nikki telling a story there. Great stuff.

If it was a test she did fine, but Nikki handled the bulk of the work. She was on offence for the majority of the match, with Charlotte only firing up and hitting certain moves at select points. Anyone doubting Niki's ability to lead and construct a good match should really just pay attention to this. She was very, very good and told a different story to their previous matches. I'd like to see what she could do in a pay-per-view match with someone more talented than 'The Nature Girl', like Sasha Banks for example. Charlotte overcame Nikki's targeting of her back and managed to apply the figure eight long enough to get the submission victory.

That was followed by a scene in which Dean Ambrose congratulated Roman Reigns on his Hell in a Cell victory. They said they'd celebrate and also referred to knowing where they had to go next. They said that would be discussed on RAW. It seemed like the weirdest teaser WWE's done for TV in  while.

Kane challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE world championship came next. Kane dominated at the opening before Seth slowly turned things around, starting with an opportunistic attack as 'The Big Red Machine' lumbered onto the top rope. They did the standard issue ringside brawling, including a table spot, before Rollins went over with two top rope knees, two super kicks, a frog splash and a Pedigree (because Kane must be kept strong for whatever reason). It was the best Kane match I can remember seeing in ages but Rollins is capable of, deserves and needs, if he is to be the valuale asset he so clearly can be, so much better.

The semi-main event spot went to Ryback and Kevin Owens. They had a fun enough match but it was too short to amount to much more. KO went over with a pop-up power bomb on 'The Big Guy'.

 

One last time.

Finally we had the evening's main event: the Final Ever Confrontation™ between The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar. Within minutes Lesnar had found a suplex attempt blocked and been busted open. A foray to the outside of the ring was controlled by 'Taker, with 'The Beast' taking over with a chair back in the ring. 'Taker regained control and used the chair himself, placing it against Lesnar's throat and sending him down into the mat.

Lesnar sold for maybe a minute before bouncing out of a corner and nailing a German suplex. Then he hit another. And another. Then an F5. 'Taker kicked out. Another F5. Another kick out. Lesnar used ring steps to Undie's head. He kicked out again. Lesnar tried caving his foe's head. Undertaker moved.

Undertaker kicked up at Lesnar, sending him falling backwards with the steps landing on top of him. A desperation Hell's Gate was applied. Lesnar forced his way out and clubbed away at 'The Last Outlaw' with left and right hands. With his foe subdued Lesnar ripped up the mat covering only for 'Taker to sit up and choke slam him onto bare wooden boards. Brock kicked out so 'Taker hit him with a Tombstone.

Lesnar kicked out. Undertaker sold utter disbelief and struggled back to his feet. He signalled for another Tombstone but Lesnar low blowed him, paying Undertaker back for SummerSlam. Following up with an F5 Lesnar got the pin, winning his feud and, in Michael Cole's words, cemented his legacy as 'The Conqueror'. It was a slow starter but once they started breaking into the finishers this was a good match.

After the match Lesnar walked up the aisle and 'Taker gave him a knowing look before lying back in the ring and accepting his defeat. After a few attempts 'The Dead Man' did his bolt upright sit up spot. He just looked like a knackered old bloke but I think we were meant to see it as his magic failing him. The crowd played along and chanted "Thank you, Taker!" as he staggered up to his feet.

Newest recruit or next opponent? Next opponent, obvs.

Sinking down to his knee, UT went for his signature pose. But he was interrupted by the Wyatt Family. Harper, Rowan and Strowman swarmed him and took him down to the mat. Then they held him up for Wyatt to give him a few punches and carried him out of the arena. Going completely overboard JBL bellowed about honour and Undertaker being a warrior as the show went off the air.

Despite the number of rematches I thought Hell in a Cell was a worthwhile watch. It's not something that will make any show of the year polls but it had some memorable moments and only one out-and-out dud bout (the tag title match). It was a basic PPV offering form the Fed, but sometimes that's okay. It helps you appreciate the better stuff that little bit more.

***

Results summary:

Alberto Del Rio defeated John Cena to win the United States championship
Roman Reigns defeated Bray Wyatt
New Day defeated the Dudley Boyz to retain the tag team championship
Charotte defeated Nikki Bella to retain the Divas championship
Seth Rollins defeated Kane to retain the WWE championship
Kevin Owens defeated Ryback to retain the Intercontinental championship
Brock Lesnar defeated The Undertaker

WWE Hell in a Cell 2015 preview

Last month's WWE pay-per-view was called Night of Champions. Judging by the card we have here this month's could easily be marketed as Night of Rematches (holds for laughter, gets silence). All but one of these matches is something we've seen before in one form or another. While rematches are a part of wrestling and some shows are going to be heavier on them than others this seems a particularly bad instance of RematchMania.

Ryback v Kevin Owens and Charlotte v Nikki Bella are both straight-up rematches from Night of Champions. On that show Owens and Charlotte defeated their foes for the Intercontinental and Divas championships respectively. Both matches should be good but I can't see any reason we should expect a title change. The new champions would only be weakened by dropping the gold so soon after winning it.

Despite these fun little conspiracy theories floating around about there being a cabal of influential people within WWE desperate to bring about Owens' downfall (hey, there's a Reality Era storyline waiting to happen) I don't think it will manifest itself (not that I think it's true) in a loss for him here. Meanwhile Charlotte seems to be the chosen one for the new look Divas division. She'll hold onto the strap to work that defence that's so clearly been set up against Paige. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if something happened to further that programme here.

An even more chronic rematch example is New Day versus the Dudley Boyz. The two teams didn't just face off at Night of Champions, they also clashed at the MSG special. Annoyingly it was the same combo of New Day wrestlers each time (Kofi Kingston and Big E). Had they been permitted to switch in Xavier Woods we would have one fresh combination to run through here before the inevitable table match stip gets wheeled out.

I expect New Day to win here. They won't lose the titles until that tables match happens. That is the natural time for Bubba and Devon to get their much ballyhooed tenth (WWE) tag title win. Hopefully we get an altered finish here though. I don't want to sit through the NOC and MSG bout for a third time.

Reigns versus Wyatt is yet another rematch although it does have the fact that we've never seen the pair in a Hell in a Cell match going in its favour. Last month I incorrectly predicted a win for Roman in his tag match because I assumed that would be the end of the feud. I foolishly didn't think to consult my WWE PPV calendar before writing that. Had I done I'd have remembered HIAC was coming and would have known that Wyatt v Reigns was the obvious match to go with.

I expect this match to be good. Reigns hasn't had a bad pay-per-view match this year. He's had a couple with dull portions though and while one of those came against 'The Eater of Worlds' (at Battleground, Wyatt won) I think the cage gimmick here, not to mention interference from the Family (they're fenced out but that won' sop 'em), will be enough for them to keep viewers engrossed for the duration. I'm interested in the layout of this match because Reigns matches have been getting a tonne of attention from creative since 'Mania and it's his first Cell match, a big deal in WWE. Plus, y'know, make look strong and all that.

There's the US Open Challenge tarring John Cena too. While we don't know who'll answer that the chances are that it will be someone who we've seen face Cena before, because Cena's worked with everyone. Ziggler is a contender for the spot given his recent determination to answer the call and defeat Cena. The member of Ne Day that doesn't wrestle the tag match is a possibility too as they all recently took a crack at the challenge. Dean Ambrose and Wyatt's henchmen are all candidates too what with their matches being cancelled due to a Randy Orton injury.

Hard to say who'll win without knowing who the challenger is. But I'll go with Cena retaining and losing the belt on RAW. There's so much talk of him taking time off that it seems impossible he'll be the champ this time next week. But I think he'll drop the gold on Monday rather than on PPV. Which would make sense as that's been the home of his Open Challenge since it started.

The only other match that's not a PPV rerun is WWE world champion Seth Rollins versus... Demon Kane. Yes, Demon Kane. Because that's how we're referring to him now. That character's mad and fragmented nature has finally reached the point where WWE have embraced it and decided to run with a multiple personality storyline for him. I personally think they should go further with it and retcon Isaac Yankem, the Christmas Creature and Fake Diesel to be more of Kane's personalities. It'd be a laugh if nothing else.

You have to feel bad for Seth, really. Since winning the title he's gotten to work with Ambrose, Reigns, Orton, Lesnar and Cena on pay-per-view and a bunch of talented lads on TV, and now he's come up against the problem that seemingly every world champion in WWE faces sooner or later: proving themselves against Glenn Jacobs. As a character in a wrestling environment Kane is tremendous. There are very few things that can't be done with him at this point because he has such a ridiculous history, backstory and gimmick. But that doesn't mean he should be wrestling for the WWE title in 2015 at the age of 48.

Rollins will win. He'll be booked to show far too much weakness for 'The Devil's Favourite Demon'. The best way this match could be handled now that it's been announced is Rollins making short work of Kane, pinning him clean with a Pedigree before sauntering backstage and cutting a promo to Renee Young about how he's the best champion ever and he's retired Kane. Which, for the record, is a thing in this match: if Kane loses he's kayfabe fired as the kayfabe Director of Kayfabe Operations. It's entirely possible this will be his last match with the company. Though it probably won't be.

Last but not least there's the evening's second Hell in a Cell match between Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker. The pair have met in this match before. Okay it was thirteen years ago but it still happened. And on top of this exact bout having happened before (I believe the only time ever that two guys have had a one-on-one Cell match more than once) 'Taker and 'The Beast' headlined SummerSlam two months ago. These two facts taken together make this match seem very familiar despite the part-time schedules of the men involved.

I'd originally assumed this programme would stretch until WrestleMania 32. I'm pleased that it isn't. By the time that show rolls around it will have been two years since Lesnar ended The Streak. While there's a natural story to tell between the two on the 'Mania platform it's not necessarily one worth telling. Even if 'The Last Outlaw' avenged his loss at WrestleMania XXX he'd still be without his Streak. There are better uses for Lesnar both at WM32 and leading up to that show. Doing a couple of rematches with 'Taker makes sense but keeping it running for that long would have been dull.

I'm leaning towards a victory for 'The Pain'. Both lads were protected by the "controversial" (read "massively unsatisfying") ending to their SummerSlam bout, telling the crowd that they're each as good as each other and either can take a win here. This shouldn't be the case. Lesnar should win. He has the longer future in the company and is worth more to them at this point. As he no longer has The Streak there's nothing to be gained from having 'The Phenom' get his win back. He retains his veteran allure and character mystique no matter what. Lesnar losing tarnishes the monster reputation that's been built up over the last several years. Lesnar losing is absolutely not what's best for business.

***

Predictions summary:

Brock Lesnar to defeat The Undertaker
Roman Reigns to defeat Bray Wyatt
Seth Rollins to defeat Kane to retain the WWE championship
The Dudley Boyz to defeat New Day by disqualification 
Charlotte to defeat Nikki Bella to retain the Divas championship
Kevin Owens to defeat Ryback to retain the Intercontinental championship
John Cena to retain the United States championship

That RAW Recap 19.10.15

This week's RAW featured a few key moments.

You just had to know where to look for them. Here's a hint: they weren't in the Nikki Bella and Alicia Fox v Naomi and Sasha Banks match, or the throwaway Bad News Barrett, Sheamus and Rusev versus Dolph Ziggler, Cesaro and Adrian Neville six man. Nor were they in Kevin Owens versus ark Henry. Although, for the record all three good for what they were. Nikki over as the serious title contender she should be considering her tenure and status as longest reigning Divas champ ever. The six man was a fun match which got some over lads on the show and gave them time to do their thing. And Owens v Henry featured Owens hitting his pop-up power bomb on 'The World's Strongest Man', establishing that he's strong enough to hit Ryback (his HIAC opponent) with it should the opportunity arise.

But, as I say, these things weren't anything noteworthy. The big segments from this week's RAW were the Undertaker and Lesnar confrontation, a dressing down of WWE champ Seth Rollins by Shawn Michaels, and an impromptu Shield reunion and match opposite their old foes the Wyatt Family.

This was fun to see but what an unbelievable waste.

The Shield reunion wasn't. It was Rollins agreeing to team up with Ambrose and Reigns to demonstrate to Shawn Michaels that he could "stop the show" then turning on them at the end of the match. Because the whole point of Rollins' character is that he's a dick who deserves a slap. In theory this worked but in practice it was incredibly wasteful. The first teaming of 'The Hounds of Justice' since their split in the summer of last year should have been a huge deal.

Instead it was a transparent attempt to increase ratings and it didn't even get that right. The least WWE should have done if this was their plan was to announce the match a week in advance and plug it non-stop to get people watching next week. Okay, that may have made some people think it was a full-time reunion but the answer to that would have been simple: have Rollins give a promo about not needing Ambrose and Reigns and Ambrose and Reigns say they don't trust Rollins but need him for this one match. It would have made time for word to spread and people to get excited about the match, increasing the chance of a larger viewing figure.

But it was more than that. The Shield shouldn't be something tossed out as a ratings grab. It will devalue their inevitable full-time (until the equally inevitable second split at least) reunion whenever it comes. The three men, though particularly Rollins and Reigns, are all clearly going to be big parts of the WWE landscape for years. They should be protected. And that means planning things like a reunion far in advance, working towards it and getting it right when it happens, not giving it away on free TV with only an hour's build-up.

On top of that things just felt off. Erick Rowan returning to the fold is fine. It actually helps get across Wyatt's cult leader deal because he slotted in with new lad Braun Strowman beautifuly. But Luke Harper not being involved was wrong. He and Wyatt are more over than Rowan and Strowman by a significant margin. He clearly should have been in the match yet he wasn't even at ringside. Rowan and 'The Black Sheep' are both very good in their roles but they can't hold a candle to Harper's ring skills and compelling weirdness.

Strong mic work from HBShizzle here.

HBK dressing down Rollins worked. The gist of Michaels' argument was that 'The Future' is content with the accolade of being the new Shawn Michaels when he should be concentrating on making his own name mean more and creating a legacy for himself. Which is hard to argue against (although it's worth noting that comparisons between Rollins and Michaels haven't been as frequent as this segment would suggest). Not to say that Rollins' doesn't have name value of his own, he clearly does, but he seems content to accept mediocre booking in exchange for getting to be world champ. Stories of 'The Heartbreak Kid' from the 90s make it hard to imagine him standing for this sort of booking.

Of course WWE now is different to the WWF then. And, perhaps more importantly, Vince McMahon has some bizarre attitudes towards the "millennials" that make up the bulk of his roster. That he was about as close to a Michaels mark as he could be in the 90s is a factor here too. Vince was less inclined to knock 'The Heartbreak Kid' than he is his current stars. But these political undertones, Michaels acting as Vince's mouthpiece, just added another layer of enjoyment to the situation.

It worked on the intended level of a respected veteran returning and condemning the current champion and as an insight into the backstage manoeuvrings of the promotion. Michaels and Rollins were both excellent. Particularly 'The Showstopper'. The only bad thing about it is that it made people (by which I mean me) want a Rollins v Michaels match that will never happen.

The showdown between Undertaker and Brock Lesnar was good because of how everything was slotted together. Despite having basically become a guy obsessed with avenging the loss of his WrestleMania Streak and being willing to make cheap shots to do it 'The Dead Man' was presented as the face here. The reason for that is that he was introduced by 'Stone Cold' Steve Austin (hey, he was there anyway, I've been saying since the podcast specials started that I think it makes sense to put him on RAW) and they were in Texas. Despite being announced from Death Valley he's a Texan and this audience was not going to boo him.

In Your House: Mind Games.

'Taker was basically there to remind anyone who's forgotten what is motivation is and to react to Brock Lesnar's advocate Paul Heyman. He gave 'The Last Outlaw' plenty to react to, explaining the story of the rivalry one final time, making clear what both men stand to gain from a win, and, of course, hammering home that his client, Brock Lesnar, conquered The Streak. 'Taker tried goading Lesnar into leaving the ramp and getting into the ring to fight. Hothead Lesnar was ready to accept this challenge before being convinced to hold off by Heyman. This framed 'The Beast' as a coward to the live crowd but the wider point was that Heyman knew 'Taker was trying to get inside Lesnar's head to gain an advantage going into their match, another cheap move by 'The Phenom' (although not one out of character, to be fair). The segment worked as a hype job for the Hell in a Cell main event and left the two men ready to take their correct roles: Lesnar the monster face and 'Taker the subtle heel desired desperate to win at any cost.

It wasn't the most exciting episode of RAW ever. But it was memorable and significant because of and for these segments. With such a clear unwillingness from WWE to formulate a long term creative plan, alter the way they present their performers, or do something different to what they've been doing for the last fifteen years, that's the most that we can realistically hope for on a Monday night.

WWE Live From MSG: Lesnar Versus Big Show review

This was not a pay-per-view. It was a Network special. That was an important distinction to remember watching this event because the standard of WWE PPVs is generally pretty high while the previous two Network exclusive cards had been rejigged house shows with a camera crew and a production budget. By now it's clear that Network shows are not going to be of a pay-per-view standard. It you expected a lot from this show you were always going to be disappointed. But was it good on its own level? Let's find out...

After a brief opening video package focusing on the Cena v Rollins cage match and Big Show v Lesnar we were introduced to the show by Rich Brennan, JBL and Byron Saxton. JBL has lost his edge and Byron is irritating but Brennan is good and warrants more chances to call bigger shows like this. It's cool to see a bit of experimentation with the commentary lineups even if two of the guys have their drawbacks. Announcing is probably one of the most stale parts of the product.

The opening match was Rusev and Sheamus versus Dolph Ziggler and Randy Orton. That Orty was on curtain jerk duty demonstrates that he has virtually nothing going on right now. This was a holdover from his rivalry with Sheamus which ended a while ago. There was no reason for it to be revived here beyond a mentality of "Welp, let's stick Orton on the spesh!"It was also strange that this was the first broadcast match in which Rusev and Orton faced each other because that's a singles pairing that could have been saved and built up. They could have done it here. The venue was ideal and it would have made Network specials seem more worthwhile, even if the match had ended up relatively basic.

The four ran through standard house show stuff, something which would be a theme throughout the evening. The faces larked about because they're Great Mates (or something) while the heels glowered. Shaymo and Rusev controlled most of the match before a hot tag was made, ultimately leading to the finish. The Show Off Vipers won when Orton sidestepped a brogue kick and Ziggler super kicked 'The Celtic Warrior' into an RKO.

After the match Rusev called Sheamus a "stupid non-American" (implying Rusev's hate campaign now includes both Americans and non-Americans, truly a vast scope) and berated him for being stupid, losing the bout, and being more useless than Lana. Sheamus Brogued him and sauntered to the back. The purpose of this was lost on me. They're not going to do Rusev v Sheamus. They're not going to turn either man face. It was just a way of killing a little bit of time.

Next was a recap. We were shown Rollins Pedigreeing Kane on RAW and the whole multiple personality thing that's going on with the COO pretending his unaware of his antics as 'The Demon'. Then Renee caught up with him in the back. He teased being out of control but ultimately assured Renee that if the demon that's been terrorising Seth appeared he'd come running. This isn't the best feud for Rollins or the best spot for Kane in 2015 but Kane is great with the material he's being given. He's one of WWE's better wrestlers at handling comedy segments.

Match two was Stardust v Neville. It was a fun match but there was nothing exceptional on offer. It was the quality of a standard TV match between the two. Neville won with the Red Arrow. I was disappointed we didn't get to see the Cosmic Wasteland out in full force, either as backup for 'The Prince of Dark Matter' or as part of a trios match.

Renee Young got more screen time after that when she chatted to Paul Heyman. He taught her how to do hyperbole, introducing himself and the show, building up MSG and dropping an uncharacteristic sports team mention. He ended by telling Big Show he'd be losing to Barack Lesnar. It was standard Heyman. Not that that's a bad thing.

Team Bella got a loud pop when they entered for their six woman tag match, actually louder than the ones Paige, Becky lynch and Charlotte got for their individual entrances. This illustrates that for all certain people hate on them the Bellas are genuinely popular with the majority of WWE crowds. That's overlooked too often. Their popularity is why the Bellas are so valuable to the company and they haven't been quietly de-pushed in favour of the new batch of call-ups.

The story of the match was that Team Bella had better teamwork than Team PCB because they all get on, although this came as much from commentary as it did from anything anyone did in the majority of the match. Aside from Paige showing some generally snarky body language and tagging herself in on Charlotte PCB got on fine. The Bellas and Fox managed to control the match less because of problems on the opposing team and more because they were simply better and outwrestled their opponents. This sort of booking will only help those face reactions. It makes Nikki, Brie and Alicia look competent, and modern audiences like competent wrestlers.

Dissension did play a part in the finish. Paige had tagged herself in and been worked over for a while. She finally managed to break away to make a tag only for Charlotte and Becky to jump to the floor. A shocked Paige was left alone to eat a Rack Attack from Nikki, putting her down for three. After the match Paige said she'd never behave like that and that she couldn't forgive their behaviour. This made sense for the PCB characters and long term stories it's just a pity it was all tied together with an average match.

Chris Jericho cut a promo about his twenty-five years in the business and pointed out Lance Storm before his IC championship bout with Kevin Owens. He pandered to the crowd by chatting about his dad playing hockey at MSG and pointing out more friends in the crowd (including one of my faves, Don 'Cyrus' Callis) and running through his catchphrases. The audience responded well to this but it didn't put them off KO. They were always going to pop for the former NXT champ.

This was the best thing I've seen involving 'Y2J' in I don't know how long. I'm chalking that up to Owens, a guy whose character and ring work I enjoy, because 'Y2J' did nothing outside of his usual "embarrassing dad" routine. Y'know, the same moves and mannerisms he's been doing for years. The match was lacking  in big moves from KO but that was okay, it played into his character: he got a cheap win raking Jericho's eyes and rolling him up as he tried for the Walls of Jericho. Then he left shouting "Happy anniversary!"

The first truly great moment of the night was New Day's pre-match promo on the Dudleys. They danced, the mocked the Dudleys' routine, and Xavier played the trombone. I'd recommend watching this skit and the last two matches from this show.

Sadly the match that followed couldn't equal that greatness. It was good, maybe slightly better than their clash at Night of Champions, but it was let down by another disqualification finish. The Dudleys caught Kofi with a 3D (outta nowhere) and Xavier, not legally in the match for his team, broke the pin up to save the belts. As with NOC New Day grabbed a table after the match only for Bubba and Devon to make a miraculous comeback and put Xavier through it with another 3D.

I understand the logic here. The Dudleys are chasing the belts and keep getting denied them by the rotten, cheating bad guys, which will eventually lead them to issuing the challenge for a tables match. But the specifics are uninventive. They could at least have come up with a different sequence to end on. Network specials may be treated internally as house shows but if we're expected to take it as a reason to subscribe (or stay subscribed) to the Network it needs to present us with more than reruns. DQ finishes aren't really the problem, the repetitiveness of them is. 

A picture of your boy Brock Lesnar. Because why not?

Big Show and Brock Lesnar took the semi-main event slot. They deviated from the Lesnar format established over the last few years with Show fending off the clotheslines, double leg takedowns, and suplex attempts thrown at him and dropping 'The Pain' with three choke slams. Lesnar would kick out and comeback with four suplexes and an F5 to win a four minute match. No, it wasn't exactly Show trouncing Lesnar and Lesnar getting a fluke win but Show got a lot more on offence in than I'd expected him to. 'The World's Largest Athlete' let tone giants everywhere down. Andre watched on from the big ring in the sky shaking his head sadly.

After the match Lesnar left then returned to give Show a belly-to-belly and an F5. Because there's time that needs filling on that there Network.

After some ads and a reminder of the two previous PPV encounters in their feud, including Jon Stewart's (who was in the front row) interference at SummerSlam, the cage lowered and we got the main event: United States champion John Cena defending against world champion Seth Rollins. In terms of match quality nothing else on this show came close to this, not that that's saying a great deal. They traded escape attempts, top rope moves, near falls (for the record I hate pinfalls and submissions being a thing in cage matches, but at least these guys made good use of them), an amusing but brief top-of-the-cage boo-yay, and signature and finisher attempts before Kane wandered out and scared Rollins back into the cage just as he was about to escape and regain the US title. Rollins dithered between leaping down and getting the title, leaving himself prone to an attack from Kane, and returning to the ring to defeat Cena honourably, something against his standard behaviour. 'The Future' chose the latter, leaping off the cage with a frog splash. Cena rolled out of the way and immediately scooped Seth up for an AA. That was enough to earn Big Match John a three count. Arguments could be made that this weakened the WWE champ but I'd disagree. He fell to an established match-winning finisher from a top guy after throwing himself to the mat from ten feet in the air.

After the match Kane got into the ring and choke slammed and Tombstoned the WWE champion. The show closed with 'The Demon' dropping the title belt on Rollins and leaving. Because, hey, there are rivalries to keep heated here for the more important shows, okay?

Taken as the glorified house show from a major arena that it was this special was fine. The main event was good and Lesnar v Show provided what it needed to and surprised us as it did so. Everything else would have fitted in on an episode of RAW but this was at least shorter.

***

Results summary:

Randy Orton and Dolph Ziggler defeated Sheamus and Rusev

Adrian Neville defeated Stardust

Team Bella defeated Team PCB

Kevin Owens defeated Chris Jericho to retain the Intercontinental championship

The Dudley Boyz defeated New Day by DQ

Brock Lesnar defeated Big Show

John Cena defeated Seth Rollins to retain the United States championship

No Mercy 2002 review

WWE recently announced Brock Lesnar's Go to Hell tour, a month of Network-related content centred around 'The Beast' himself. It culminate with a Lesnar versus Undertaker Hell in a Cell match. Having watched WWE for a while my first thought when this was announced was that it's a repeat of the No Mercy 2002 main event, which saw Bikertaker face 'The Next Big Thing' inside the Cell. I thought I'd give that show a watch in preparation for their rematch almost exactly thirteen years later. Here's what I thought...

Intro

Tweet 1: 'Taker versus Lesnar in Hell in a Cell has me so hyped that I'm going to watch No Mercy 2002, the show that featured their first HIAC match.

Tweet 2: Such a powerful opening shot. No better way to start a pay-per-view...

Tweet 3: I know nothing about this show other than it has Undertaker v Lesnar in a HIAC match...
Tweet 4: The intro vid is clearing some things up. Triple H v Kane is happening. It's World title v IC title. And it's the Katie Vick feud.
Tweet 5: Also, Heyman just said HIAC is Taker's signature. You're forgetting the dreaded casket match there, Paul mate.

World tag team championship: Chris Jericho and Christian (c) v Booker T and Goldust

Tweet 6: Opener features Chris Jericho. Seems to be heel Jericho. Timeline feels right for him to tagging with Christian.

Tweet 7: Yeah, nailed it. Christian will save this opener for me.
Tweet 8: Prime Christian.

Tweet 9: This show is thirteen years old and features JR knocking Fozzy.
Tweet 10: The Canadian Lads v Bookdust. Jericho aside this should be good.
Tweet 11: Trying to figure out if Jericho was still good at this point. The crowd are giving him some mad heat. That indicates he was.
Tweet 12: They're crazy into the main man, future royalty Booker T too. Little Rock, Arkansas knows what's up.
Tweet 13: Weird period for Jerry Lawler this. He's still pro-heel but he's happy when faces do their big spots.
Tweet 14: He seems keen to see a Spinneroonie here, for example.
Tweet 15: I miss Shattered Dreams. Possibly the best low blow with theatrics in the entire history of the grapple game.
Tweet 16: "A Spinneroonie, razorback style!" - Jim Ross, prompting a strong you wot, mate?
Tweet 17: Jericho won off a top rope moonsault. You know, the top rope moonsault he was always doing.

Funaki interviews Al Wilson backstage

Tweet 18: YES.

Tweet 19: Getting a recap of Al Wilson's relationship with Dawn Marie. I've stumbled into one of WWE's hottest post-Attitude Era periods.
Tweet 20: This is what wrestling's all about, folks.

Tweet 21: "Why were you wearing your clothes in the shower?" - Funaki to Al Wilson

Dawn Marie v Torrie Wilson

Tweet 22:  Dawn Marie and Torrie Wilson are about to do a wrestle. Michael Cole and The Tazz are on commentary. This show just got rough.

Tweet 23: SmackDown was considered the work rate brand at this point wasn't it...?
Tweet 24: "We want puppies!" - The crowd within seconds of this match beginning
Tweet 25: Tazz and Cole analysing the win-loss record of these two against one another in lingerie matches.
Tweet 26: Spot where Dawn and Torrie roll about with the referee there. Dawn had a go at him because she's a heel.
Tweet 27: Face women of this era were fine being felt up apparently.
Tweet 28: Torrie winning off a swinging neck breaker because why not?

Jonathan Coachman interviews Rob Van Dam backstage

Tweet 29: Great chinos on Coach here. Meanwhile RVD sets himself up as a man of the people and parodies Ric Flair. It's poor.

Tweet 30: Not hyped for Flair v Van Dam.
Tweet 31: Who's this Tracey lass? JR says she's a Jezebel. Jerry thinks she's hot. Has she made accusations against 'Mean' Mark? No memory of this.

Ric Flair v Rob Van Dam

Tweet 32: "He is Ric Flair" - Jerry Lawler on Ric Flair

Tweet 33: The opening minute has been far better than I expected tbf.
Tweet 34: Lol at JR saying Flair may have won thousands of matches with the figure four.
Tweet 35: Rob Van Dam can't sell a figure four. Who knew?
Tweet 36: Quite enjoying this match and I'm going to credit that to 'Naitch' because I dislike more of RVD's work than I like outside of ECW.

Big Show chats to Stephanie McMahon backstage until Eric Bischoff turns up and says he owns him

Tweet 37: WE-ELLLLLLLLL it's a Big Show backstage segment. Top notch stuff.

Tweet 38: Yet another highlight here: the Bischoff and Stephanie feuding GMs thing.
Tweet 39: "I'm a giant!" - Big Show
Tweet 40: Show angry that he's not been on PPV since July. He was overweight and lazy. I'm with Bisch on this. Good call, buddy. Keep him off shows.
Tweet 41: Everyone's favourite IC title memory.

Cruiserweight championship match: Jamie Noble (c) v Yoshiro Tajiri

Tweet 42: Tajiri in a cruiserweight title match? I'm down.

Tweet 43: YES.

Tweet 44: Just noticed Brian Hebner is refereeing this match. I'm not going to let it get to me.
Tweet 45: First mention of women being tomatoes from Tazz there.
Tweet 46: Tazz putting over Tajiri and saying he's been in the ring with him. Failing to mention he wasn't happy facing or selling for him.
Tweet 47: Sickened by Michael Cole not talking about educated feet when Tajiri started doing some kicks.
Tweet 48: Nidia's not doing much here. Pretty much sums up her run. I always thought she was good and deserved more than she got. #justsaying
Tweet 49: Nidia helps Noble win. Tajiri forces himself on her to even the score. She smiles about it. This booking though...

Los Guerreros, Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] backstage

Tweet 50: Awks backstage segment.

World Heavyweight championship v Intercontinental championship unification: Triple H (WHC) v Kane (IC)

Tweet 51: Kane being pushed as a top guy by embracing being a "freak". My word.

Tweet 52: Clean shaven Triple H accusing 'The Big Red Machine' of murdering sweet, innocent Katie Vick, the purest girl in all of rasslin'.
Tweet 53: I remember hating this match at the time it happened.
Tweet 54: Jerry Lawler trying to flesh out the Katie Vick story is just ridiculous. Who, other than Vince, thought this story was a good idea?
Tweet 55: Let the record show Kane is wearing his sexy semi-see-through ring gear here.
Tweet 56: Lawler cracking jokes about a kayfabe dead woman. Whadda pro.
Tweet 57: This match would be so much more enjoyable if it featured time-travelled-from-the-future Corporate Kane. In a vest.
Tweet 58: I'd be interested in knowing who thought Triple H v Kane would interest people in 2002.
Tweet 59: Plus side: this is the best period of Triple H's career as far as his hair is concerned.
Tweet 60: Hahahahaha run-in by The Hurricane hahahahaha.
Tweet 61: "Triple H is still alive" - Jerry Lawler, who I fully expected to follow up with "... unlike Katie Vick!"
Tweet 62: Imagine if another human being actually hit another human being in the head with a sledgehammer though.
Tweet 63: Lost count of the number of ref bumps in this match. Genuinely more than I remember from any Attitude Era main event.

Stephanie McMahon chats to Tracey in the office

Tweet 64: Another segment with this Tracey woman who I don't remember. She just called 'Mean' Mark a bastard. #strongwords

Tweet 65: Stephanie and Tracey having a heart-to-heart, just them and the cameras.
Tweet 66: Tracey confiding in Stephanie that she lied and wants 'Taker back. In front of cameras. Also Undertaker WAS STOOD IN THE ROOM.

Tag team championship tournament finals: Kurt Angle and [REDACTED] v Edge and Rey Mysterio

Tweet 67: Should be good.

Tweet 68: By good I mean I'm pretty sure it won some MOTY awards.
Tweet 69: "Kurt Angle in search of the one title that's eluded him" - Michael Cole as Angle entered for a match to crown the first ever champs
Tweet 70: Edge with his poor "Never gonna stop!" Zombie lad entrance music here.
Tweet 71: I'd already recommend this match on the strength of the opening sequence between Mysterio and Angle.
Tweet 72: You'd never get WWE putting some of their best workers and biggest stars in an extended tag feud now. It's a shame.
Tweet 73: This three-way feud shows how effective it can be. I'm sure the strength of his work here helped Edge get over.
Tweet 74: *Waits for Rey to tag in and blow his knee*
Tweet 75: Rey Mysterio doing Bronco Busters... *shakes head*
Tweet 76: 619 to [REDACTED] as he had the [REDACTED] Crossface on is such a great spot.
Tweet 77: That was a career highlight for all four lads. Obviously won't make it onto any compilations because of [REDACTED] but it deserves to.

Undertaker gets something injected into his hand

Tweet 78: What's 'Taker been up to...?

Women's championship: Trish Stratus (c) v Victoria

Tweet 79: Jerry Lawler talking about puppies, JR calling Victoria "chronically pre-menstrual", it could only be a WWE women's match from the early 00s.

Tweet 80: Disappointed Big Stevie Cool isn't paired up with Victoria at this point. That was an under-utilised act.
Tweet 81: Not exactly a classic that. But it was good. Could've done without Dawn v Torrie, splitting the time between this and the cruiser match.

Pre-Hell in a Cell chatter

Tweet 82:

Tweet 83: Pre-match video package establishing that Tracey was with Undertaker in 1995. He looked like this...

WWE championship Hell in a Cell: Undertaker v Brock Lesnar (c)

Tweet 84: The Hell in a Cell main is starting. Think I'm about to watch the best 'Taker-Lesnar HIAC match there will ever be.

Tweet 85: Mat wrestling and a cast plot line. This is how you start Hell in a Cell!
Tweet 86: I'm assuming this ends with Lesnar climbing to the roof and hitting a Shooting Star Press off the roof through a table.
Tweet 87: "The champion seeing his own blood. TASTING his own blood." Get a room, Cole.
Tweet 88: For the record I don't approve of pins or pin attempts outside of the ring in HIAC.
Tweet 89: I wish Tazz would refer to this as a big man extravaganza because that's EXACTLY what it is.
Tweet 90: Undertaker is wrestling in a bandana. I bet his Ministry of Darkness era self would be ashamed to learn of this.
Tweet 91: No Mercy: Battle for the Wank Rag.

Tweet 92: Lesnar and Heyman are both bleeding. If 'Taker doesn't blade it's ridiculous.
Tweet 93: Interesting note: Michael Cole is fully erect throughout this entire match.
Tweet 94: Undertaker versus Brock Lesnar in a Pub Car Park Disagreement match.

Tweet 95: Lol at 'Taker Hulking up here.
Tweet 96: Upset Tazz didn't refer to the choke slam as a goozle.
Tweet 97: This match should end with Brock taking a Tombstone then immediately kipping up to hit an F5.
Tweet 98: Pins on the floor are legal but rope breaks still count. What even are these rules?
Tweet 99: 'Dead Man Inc' fell to a single F5. What a weakling.
Tweet 100: I'll be amazed if they top that at Hell in a Cell.
Tweet 101:

Tweet 102: I liked that match and I liked that show. There was way more to it than I expected.