Elimination Chamber preview

Ever since the Elimination Chamber was granted its own pay-per-view in 2010 there have been two such bouts per year. It's harmed the importance of what should be a rarely used gimmick bout. It's also cluttered up the once clear path from the Royal Rumble to WrestleMania, with the writing team forced to incorporate two multi-man matches that have rarely been the most logical way to advance plots.
 
Thankfully this year's show will feature only one of the titular matches. That's a definite step in the right direction. Less is more.
 
WWE will break from tradition because of The Rock. Putting him in a Chamber match would not be without its merits. Most obviously it would allow five regular members of the roster to work with 'The Great One' as opposed to just one. It could be accurately marketed as Rock's first jaunt inside the Chamber too.
 
That said it makes far more sense to go with a rematch from Royal Rumble, with The Rock defending against CM Punk. Their match at the Royal Rumble is believed to have drawn around half a million pay-per-view buys. For a WWE show not named WrestleMania that's a fantastic number. A rematch won't do quite so well, because nobody believes the championship will change hands again, but it should still be above average for a WWE event.
 
Monday's RAW revealed a stipulation for this match. If The Rock gets counted out or disqualified Punk will win the title. It's a strange ruling that deprives the two of many of the shortcuts that made their Rumble match so enjoyable. At least it makes sense regarding who it favours though: Punk, as the heel, should be the man to have an unfair advantage in this one.
 
I can't see the WWE championship changing hands before WrestleMania. I especially can't see Punk regaining it. What would be the point of having him lose the belt to The Rock, ending his vaunted reign, only to win it back three weeks later? To fool the fans? I think even WWE would find it hard to justify that at their most financially lucrative time of year.

These six in a Chamber match would be interesting

 
The man that will face the winner of Punk v Rock II is John Cena. He will spend his evening teaming with Ryback and Sheamus to take on The Shield. If the Tables, Ladders and Chairs match Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns were involved in last December is anything to go by this match could be excellent.
 
Of course that's not an entirely fair comparison. At TLC the justice deliverers had Daniel Bryan and Kane amongst their opponents. Bryan is regarded as one of the best wrestlers in the world while ‘The Big Red Machine’ is skilled at elevating his opponents. Cena, Sheamus and Ryback can’t compare to Kane’s skills, and they certainly can’t compare to Bryan’s.
 
On the plus side Ryback was involved in the TLC match in question, and wasn't just a passenger. The match was laid out to give him moments to shine as well as it was The Shield. If the same holds true for the six man tag team match it could be pretty good.
 
I'm not going to get by hopes up for more. 'Great White' is one of the most uninteresting, unengaging babyfaces I've ever seen in any wrestling promotion. And Cena is Cena. Unless he learns how to sell effectively before Sunday night I don't think this match will do The Shield as much good as their debut. I’m hope for a lively tussle. Anything more will be a bonus.
 
The result could go either way. The faces could win to keep Ryback strong and protect Cena for WrestleMania. Or the heels could go over to show that they're a more dominant faction and keep them interesting for another six man outing at WrestleMania. There's no reason to favour one option over the other, but I'm picking The Shield to win because I think they'd benefit more from it.
 
Bulking out the middle of the card are matches for the United States and Divas championships. I’d like to see Cesaro retain against The Miz. A title change wouldn't really benefit either man at the moment. It would be best to keep 'The Swiss Superman's' lengthy reign going. Miz, being awesome and all, doesn't need a strap right now.
 
The Divas title match is likely going to be brief. The women's division hasn't been in this bad a state since I first started watching wrestling and Sable was the only pushed female performer. I'm going to assume there's some sort of DQ finish that sets up a rematch at WrestleMania. The ladies always get a token match. A dodgy finish to set up a rematch is as good a way as any of getting it established.
 
There's also the pre-show match to discuss. Despite announcing their split as a team a few weeks ago on SmackDown the Rhodes Scholars will take on Brodus Clay and Tensai, collectively billed (apparently) as The Monsters of Funk. It's strange that WWE went out of their way to have Sandow and Rhodes discuss their split when there was clearly nothing else planned for them. Backtracking makes the company look foolish. That aside it's good the decision’s been undone for now. In the absence of something to do in the singles ranks it’s the best use for both men. Scholars to win.
 
I wouldn't be surprised if Wade Barrett v Bo Dallas got added to the show. Their issues started at January's Rumble show and have received a surprising amount of air time since. WWE seem to want to establish Dallas as a star. If it happens I'll assume Barrett cheats to retain. I'd say they'd do a 'Mania rematch but I can't see those two being lucky enough to be in anything other than a multi-man match at the bigger show.
 
One match that definitely will be happening is the Elimination Chamber. The entrants will be Chris Jericho, Mark Henry, Daniel Bryan, Kane, Randy Orton and everybody's favourite borderline racist Jack Swagger. As ever with a match that features a number of competitors it's tough to accurately pick a winner.
 
What helps here is remembering that the winner will wrestle for the World Heavyweight championship at WrestleMania. To me that immediately rules out Bryan and Kane as potential victors. I think they're either going to be facing one another or losing the tag straps at 'Mania.
 
That leaves Jericho, Orton, Henry and Swagger. 'Y2J' strikes me as unlikely for no other reason than I just don't think WWE would use him against either Big Show or Alberto Del Rio at a WrestleMania. So, really, there are three possible winners in my eyes. But three’s still half the total number of competitors.
 
'The World's Strongest Man' has been made to look very dominant in the two weeks he's been back. He blasted his way through Sin Cara, Daniel Bryan and Rey Mysterio when he returned and is credited with the latter's latest absence from TV. He overpowered Khali on RAW which, in WWE World, means a lot. It seems that he's being prepared for something. That could very well be another run as a top line monster and a WHC match with ADR.
 
'The Viper' has been doing nothing of interest since his feud with Christian ended in 2011. Unless you want to count his rivalry with Mark Henry (also in 2011), of course, but I don't. Orton could be a good opponent for either Show or Del Rio. If he were to face 'The Giant' then the match could be given a David versus Goliath flavour, with Orton battling away as the underdog. A match with Del Rio could be used to instigate that much ballyhooed heel turn. Facing Orton would give ADR's reign more legitimacy than his never ending cycle of matches with Show ever will.
 
Then there's Jack Swagger. When he came back at the start of February I assumed he was making up the numbers. The reveal of his new manager and xenophobic attitude on RAW has made me re-evaluate this view. After all, who better to face a proud Mexican champion than a rabidly pro-American heel? It's an inversion of the classic pro-American babyface versus crafty foreign heel dynamic.
 
Perhaps it's a little too obvious, a deliberate attempt by WWE to distract us from their real plans, whatever they may be. In a way I like that because I think wrestling's at its best when surprising the audience. I wouldn't mind seeing Swagger face ADR though. I think it would be a fresh, interesting match. So I'm going to predict a Swagger win.
 
With that said it should be obvious who I'm picking to win the World Heavyweight title match. No matter who ended up in the Chamber I was never going to pick 'The World's Largest Athlete'. If he were going to go into WrestleMania XXIX as champion he never would've lost the belt in the first place.
 
It's strange that this match, the second PPV outing and third major match of the feud, is being fought under regular rules. Usually you'd start off with normal rules and build to gimmick matches. The reverse has happened with Show and ‘The Essence of Excellence’. But this is WWE... and anything can happen in (the) WWE!
 
Elimination Chamber is going to be hard pressed to deliver the sort of number it's believed the Rumble did. But with The Rock and CM Punk's title rematch and a Chamber match there's every chance this card could be a surprise financial success. Entertainment-wise it's already looking like another hit. If WWE carries on like this WrestleMania should be very good indeed.
 
Predictions summary:
The Rock to defeat CM Punk
Jack Swagger to win the Elimination Chamber
The Shield to defeat John Cena, Ryback and Sheamus
Alberto Del Rio to defeat Big Show
Antonio Cesaro to defeat The Miz
Kaitlyn to retain against Tamina via DQ
Rhodes Scholars to defeat The Monsters of Funk

Gazing at WrestleMania XXIX From Afar

So that was 2012. The year that gave us a year-long WWE champion, CM Punk and Daniel Bryan in world title matches at WrestleMania, the Claire Lynch fiasco, a Jay Lethal heel turn, the continued abandonment of Kazarian's first name, Brock Lesnar's return to wrestling, and the Funkasaurus. It would have been impossible to predict all of that (plus everything else that happened in wrestling) this time last year, just as it's impossible to predict what 2013 holds for us now.
 
We do have some snippets to go on though. For example, Hulk Hogan announced last month (which is also last year) that he'd quite like to be TNA world champion. While that doesn't guarantee a title win for 'The Hulkster' it does mean that seeing him challenge for the title won't be a major surprise.
 
We also know that The Rock and CM Punk will wrestle for Punk's WWE championship at the Royal Rumble, the show that traditionally signals the beginning of WrestleMania Season. Between the Rumble and 'Mania itself WWE will shunt their major players around and line them up for April 7^th. The card (or the matches we care most about) will likely be finalised by February 18^th, the night after Elimination Chamber.
 
Usually by this point we'd have a decent idea of one or two big matches for the show. This year that's not the case. We know who the big names are so we know who will be in WrestleMania XXIX's main bouts, but we don't know who will be tangling with who.
 
Most of the names that will be involved in these matches are part time. The Rock will begin making WWE appearances on the January 28^th RAW. The Undertaker, while not confirmed to appear on any upcoming programmes, is expected to compete at WrestleMania and could show up at any time. My belief is that something 'Dead Man' related will happen at the Rumble.
 
Then there's Brock Lesnar. He's been absent from WWE television since SummerSlam. The story excuse for this is that he's quit. The real reason is that he's signed a limited appearances deal with the company. WWE have wisely stored up their remaining Lesnar bookings for their most profitable time of year.
 
Triple H will probably appear too. He's written himself into a part time role in recent years. WrestleMania would be a logical event for him to wrestle at if he's planning on stepping into the ring in 2013.
 
Joining the part timers are TV regulars John Cena, Ryback and CM Punk. Cena and Punk are the only two men who are definitely going to be involved in a big match. Ryback might join them, but it's not a certainty. Guys like Randy Orton, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler are important names and will wrestle on the card but they're not guaranteed to tackle anyone particularly important.
 
The line-up will become much more apparent once we've witnessed the Rock v Punk match and know who'll spend January to April as the WWE champ.
 
Should Punk win the options seem surprisingly limited. I can't imagine him facing the Undertaker as champion because that would necessitate a 'Taker championship reign (The Streak won't end, folks) and I can't imagine WWE having their most important belt on a part time guy after 'Mania. A non-title match between the two is far more likely. It's easy to imagine Punk's respect obsessed character launching an assault on The Streak.
 
A match between Punk and fellow Paul Heyman guy Brock Lesnar seems unlikely no matter who has the title. Both men are heels and it simply wouldn't make storyline sense to put them against each other without several months of teasing.
 
Punk versus Triple H was done in 2011 and received tepid reactions, so that seems unlikely too. Even more unlikely is a match between Punk and John Cena. They faced one another so many times last year that there's no chance WWE will pit them against one another at WrestleMania. It's far too stake a match.
 
A triple threat with The Rock, one the other hand, should not be blithely disregarded. WWE's two biggest regulars and their biggest outside star all being in one match would be an interesting premise and could draw a massive number. It would also create more options for the notoriously bland post-'Mania TV product. It's not a match to pin your hopes on though. While it would be interesting to see a triple threat wouldn't have the big match feel of a singles encounter.
 
There's also Ryback to consider when discussing Punk. They have have faced one another a lot over the last few months but big Ry' has never picked up the win his character needs. Having him win the Rumble and then dethrone CM Punk at WrestleMania would set him up as The Man. It's very easy to imagine a Punk v Ryback 'Mania match being framed as the night Punk's luck finally runs out.
 
Then there's The Rock. The obvious opponents for him would both be rematches. Should Punk retain the belt at the Rumble it's unlikely to be clean. Shady tactics would be a natural way of setting up Punk v Rock II at WrestleMania.
 
Even though 'The Great One' is working a light schedule and isn't expected to stick around after 'Mania XXIX that rematch isn't unlikely. There's a possibility WWE have managed to book Rock for SummerSlam. If that were the case then Rock leaving New Jersey on April 7 as WWE champion doesn't seem too farfetched. WWE could go a few months with sporadic appearances from their champion of they were to get a bumper payday at SummerSlam in return.

One way or another this guy will wrestle at WrestleMania

 
The other potential rematch would be against John Cena. Yes their encounter last year was billed as "once in a lifetime" but it's not like the wrestling business is known for honouring its word in these matters. Besides, WWE could just about get around that advertising misstep by having Cena winning the Rumble and Rock capturing the title, setting them on course for one another by chance rather than design (at least as far as kayfabe is concerned).
 
Rock feels like a more natural opponent for Brock Lesnar too. The spectacle of a former UFC champion facing a Hollywood star for wrestling's greatest prize is a cross-promotional dream, and the sort of thing Vince McMahon drools over. It should get a fair bit of media coverage too. It would mean WWE not having regular access to their championship after WrestleMania, but that's not enough of a reason to stop the match happening. I've already said I think they'd be happy to put the title on Rock until SummerSlam. If 'The Pain' re-signs for another year I think the same logic would apply to him leaving WrestleMania as champion, with the added bonus that WWE could burn through a few appearances and have him wrestle at the April and May PPVs, not an option with Rocky.
 
It's easy to envisage Lesnar doing a run-in at the Rumble. He could cost Rock the match to set up a non-title encounter, or attack 'The Brahma Bull' after the match to get a championship programme underway.
 
The chances of Rock facing the Undertaker seem slim. It would be a great spectacle but doesn't feel like a direction WWE will travel in, at least not this year. Rock does have the status to provide a believable challenge to 'Taker's Streak though, so it's not an idea that should be completely ruled out.
 
Rock taking on Ryback or Triple H isn't going to happen. Ryback would get booed out of the building against the charismatic Hollywood megastar which would undo the months of hard work that have gone into installing him at the top. Meanwhile there's no reason to put Rock against the storyline COO. They'd never live up to their excellent matches from the late 90s and early 00s anyway.
 
With all that said I'm leaning towards Punk losing the title to The Rock. John Cena could then win the Rumble match and beat The Rock for the gold at WrestleMania. Which would leave Punk, the most heavily pushed WWE performer of 2012, to be put on a respect-fuelled collision course with the man respected man in the locker room.
 
Cena versus The Rock headlining WrestleMania for the second year is unimaginative. That doesn't mean it won't happen though. Like it or not Cena is currently WWE's biggest name and The Rock is one of their biggest names ever. People will buy a show with them in the main event, especially if it’s a title match. Punk versus the Undertaker will provide an excellent secondary match. Triple H and Brock Lesnar will be left to provide Big Match Three. If that happens I fully expect 'The Pain' to take a loss. 'The Game' isn't the type to not pick up a return win.
 
What Ryback will be given to do is unclear. He'll very likely be dropped down to the second string alongside Big Show, Randy Orton, Sheamus and Dolph Ziggler. ‘Big Hungry’ been the subject of a huge push over the last few months and should find himself rewarded with a meaningful match on the card.

One possibility is that Ryback will tangle with Dolph Ziggler. ‘The Sole Survivor’ could cash-in his Money in the Bank briefcase and then be tasked with carrying ‘The Human Wrecking Ball’ to a passable World Heavyweight title outing on the show.
 
Alternatively the Big Show could keep hold of the World title until the big night. He could be booked to defend against Ryback in a match culminating in 'The Giant' taking a (probably very sloppy and unimpressive) Shellshock. That would provide a WrestleMania moment for the former Nexus member's career highlight reel. WWE loves stuff like that.
 
If Ziggler still has the briefcase at 'Mania he could cash in on the WHC match winner. If this is Ryback it would be a way of taking the title off him without resorting to a clean loss and it would set up a new feud for the dull post-'Mania season. Ziggler versus Ryback could easily run until May or June without becoming stale.
 
From a creative standpoint one of the of the goals of WrestleMania XXIX should be to solidify Ryback in the number two babyface spot. Either of these two scenarios would go some way towards achieving that. By having him continue to chase a champion (Ziggler in the above proposal) Ryback would retain his lustre. As soon as he becomes a world champion for an extended period people will stop asking “when will he become champion?” and instead ask “who’s going to give him his first clean loss?” That’s something WWE will want to avoid for as long as possible.
 
Another World title option is seeing a collision between Sheamus and Randy Orton. 'Great White' looks like he's currently on track to challenge Big Show at the Royal Rumble. I've a feeling hell finally regain the gold on the show. The long awaited 'Viper' heel turn would feel very natural if it revolved around jealousy of Sheamus and his success over the last year. A fresh match between those two would be a nice undercard encounter for WrestleMania XXIX, with or without the title.
 
A clash between Ryback and 'The World's Largest Athlete' seems likely. WWE's love of muscles and power moves would be satisfied by it. That would leave Sheamus and Orton to clash purely because of animosity, rather than for a belt. Maybe 'The Apex Predator' will interfere in 'Great White's' final, last-chance-ever-and-we-really-mean-it encounter with Big Show to spark his return to the dark side and instigate his new rivalry.
 
In all of this Dolph Ziggler would be left with nothing to do. Sad as it is to write I think that's fairly likely. I can imagine 'The Show Off' getting a meaningless undercard match and then cashing in his title shot later on the card.
 
How much of this predicted card (laid out for simplicity below) is likely to happen? At this stage it's impossible to know. I'd be surprised if none of it happened though. Not because I have such unwavering conviction in my predictions but because WWE so rarely offer genuine surprises. I'd love a card stocked with matches that currently seem unrealistic (within reason obviously, I don't think anyone wants to see Miz v Brodus Clay for the WWE title) but I don't think it will happen. The current vagueness and uncertainty regarding WrestleMania XXIX's line-up is about as mysterious as it's going to get.
 
Predicted WrestleMania XXIX card:
The Rock v John Cena - WWE championship match
CM Punk v Undertaker
Triple H v Brock Lesnar
Ryback v Big Show - World Heavyweight championship match
Sheamus v Randy Orton

A Dolph Ziggler cash-in

Fantasy Booker: SummerSlam 2012 to WrestleMania XXIX

With WWE having confirmed the main event for next January’s Royal Rumble event months in advance I thought it would be a good time to do another fantasy booking piece. This time I’ve decided to tackle the WWE championship from SummerSlam 2012 to WrestleMania XXIX. Let’s go!

The champion going into SummerSlam is CM Punk, who will defend his belt in a triple threat match against Big Show and John Cena. I do not expect it to be a pretty affair. In reality I’m expecting Punk to retain. For the purposes of this article he would definitely retain. I don’t see any point in switching the belt onto ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’ and Cena is as over as he’ll ever be without it. Punk is one of the company’s best workers and is the best candidate for WWE champion of the three.

That being said I would want to keep the Punk v Cena rivalry going for a while longer. September’s Night of Champions will be held in Cena’s hometown of Boston and I think it would be great to have him go into that pay-per-view challenging one of his chief rivals.

To keep the feud alive a point of dispute would need to be created in their SummerSlam clash. To my mind the best way of doing that would be with a finishing sequence that makes it clear that Cena was about to become champion. I’d have a finishing sequence of Cena ducking a clothesline from Big Show and then hitting him with an AA. Before he could make the cover Punk would grab him and hit him with a GTS. Punk would then pin Big Show to retain.

This paints Punk as someone benefiting from somebody else’s hard work, and also creates an argument that Cena could have won, because it was his finisher that earned ‘The Straight Edge Superstar’ the victory. It also has Show doing the job, handily invalidating any claim he may have to the title and writing him out of the title picture.

Cena would voice his frustrations on the following evening’s RAW, and ask Punk why he opted to cover Big Show. Punker would come out with the deliberately lame excuse that Big Show was closer to him than Cena was. The announcers can then be left to speculate that Punk pinned Cena because he trusted the AA more than the GTS.

A rematch would be booked for the August 27^th edition of RAW. That match would go on last and get a good twenty minutes or so. During the inevitable ringside brawl Cena would blast Cena into a barrier and then roll back into the ring. It’s a standard WWE move usually followed by the man who’s been tossed into the barrier rolling back in just before the ten count. Instead of that Punk would recover at around five or six and then tease getting back into the ring, agonising over the decision.

The referee would continue counting and Cena would shout for Punk to get back into the ring and continue the match. The champ would not. He would stand still until getting counted out, collect his belt from the timekeeper’s table and then head to the back, leaving Cena to mug and gurn RAW off the air (he does it so well).

During this period I would also be preparing Randy Orton as a title contender. He would not be directly interacting with Cena or Punk, but would mention when interviewed (probably by Matt Striker) that he has his sights set on the WWE championship. He would be winning constantly and would perhaps work a brief TV feud with Heath Slater or someone similar to keep him busy for the month.

The September 3^rd RAW would include an opening promo from Cena calling out Punk. He would come to the ring and tell Cena that he doesn’t have to explain his actions to anybody, which would bring out AJ to make a match between the two at Night of Champions. Punk would become incensed with this, demanding to know why Cena constantly gets awarded title shots while other guys on the roster have to earn them. AJ would suggest a tag match between Punk and Cena with the partners of their choice, with a stipulation that if Punk’s team wins the Night of Champions title shot would be Cena’s last during Punk’s current championship reign.

How long would I keep the WWE title on CM Punk? Find out below

Punk would win that tag match. This would elevate the stakes and create a must-win situation for Cena in his hometown. That, coupled with Punk’s increasingly unsportsmanlike behaviour and whiney attitude, should ensure that the fans are firmly behind ‘The CeNation Leader’ at NOC.

Punk v Cena would be the final match to go on at Night of Champions. It’s possible it would be turned into a no disqualification match but the initial plan would be to have it as a straight wrestling match. The two men would again get twenty minutes or so to turn out as good a match as possible. I like the idea of teasing the count out finish again, only for Cena to go out and throw Punk back into the ring, so if it wasn’t a no DQ environment I’d have that included.

The finish would see Cena go for an AA only for Punk to wiggle free, drop to his knees and hit a low blow followed by an immediate schoolboy for the win.

The September 17^th RAW would feature a crowing promo from Punk about how he toppled John Cena in his hometown and the fact that he’s become the first WWE champion in years to not have to worry about defending the belt against him.

This would bring out… no, not Cena. It would bring out Randy Orton. ‘The Viper’ would tease that he’s going to speak to Punk but would instead nail him with an RKO. He would then take a microphone and say that John Cena is not the only man capable of winning world titles. He would then go to leave only to be stopped by Cena himself.

Cena would tell Orton that he appreciates what he just did to Punk but that he would have liked the opportunity to do it first. ‘The Apex Predator’ would smirk and walk up the ramp, leaving a now-recovered Punk alone with Cena. ‘The Doctor of Thuganomics’ would tell Punk that he’s angry and disappointed. Not because he doesn’t have the WWE title, that would have been nice but he can earn another shot in the future, but because of the man CM Punk has become.

Punk would reply with a self-righteous promo about how Cena has been on top too long and that it’s given him a false sense of entitlement. This would finish by Punk saying that he won’t have to worry about Cena for a very long time.

The main event of this episode of RAW would be a twenty man battle royal, with the winner getting to face Punk for the title at Hell in a Cell. Featuring all the usual suspects (with the exception of Cena) plus some random jobbers everyone knows have no chance of winning this match would be won by Randy Orton.

With ‘The Apex Predator’ enjoying a bit of post-match posing Punk would come to the ring through the crowd and smash him in the head with the title belt. He would then hit him with a GTS. After posing Punk would go to leave but look back at Orton and decide to return to give him another GTS. RAW would go off the air with Punk holding up the title and Orton knocked out.

Across the next four weeks the Punk v Orton rivalry would become increasingly heated. Punk would continue with his supremely confident character, delighting in rubbing his opponent the wrong way and demanding respect as the champion. Meanwhile Orton would want to prove that he is just as much of a threat as anyone on the roster (meaning Cena, but that would never be explicitly stated).

Cena would remain on the periphery of this feud, not being involved every week but appearing enough to make it clear that Punk considers him the biggest threat to a champion and that Orton wants to prove he’s better than him.

I would also gradually introduce Daniel Bryan to the title picture, at first as an uneasy ally of Punk for a tag match or two against Cena and Orton. The idea would be to tease a Bryan v Orton feud for the future. Would that be the true plan? Stay tuned!

Two weeks before the pay-per-view AJ would confirm that the Punk and Orton would meet in a Hell in a Cell bout. It would also be announced that Cena would act as the official in that match in order to ensure that there is a clear winner and no controversial finish takes place. Punk would freak out at this (it’s unfair and disrespectful to the champ, and so on) while Orton would not appear terribly happy either.

At Hell in a Cell on October 28^th Punk and Orton would go on last. I actually think this is a match WWE should book for the event in reality. Both men are excellent wrestlers and I believe they’d turn out as good a Hell in a Cell outing as you can in the PG Era. There doesn’t need to be blood and half a dozen chair shots to make Hell in a Cell worthwhile.

Throughout the course of the match both competitors would make their displeasure at Cena’s presence clear. Both would begin getting in his face over two counts, which would be met in the predictable Cena fashion of smiling, wagging his finger and pointing at his ref shirt.

The finish I’d book would see Orton go for an RKO on Punk, only to be shoved off into Cena. Cena, thinking that ‘The Viper’ had finally snapped and attacked him, would shove him and receive a shove in return. The two would then slug it out with one another with Cena getting the upper hand (rationalised by the announce team stating that he’s far fresher than Orton because he’s not been wrestling) and scooping Orton up for an AA.

That’s where Punk would stop watching and yank ‘The Viper’ off of Cena’s shoulders to hit him with a GTS (perhaps not the first of the match). He would then cover Orton, staring and smiling at Cena as he’s forced to make the count.

The point of this finish would be to set up a Cena v Orton feud. The following evening on RAW Cena and Orton would wind up in the ring together and ‘The CeNation Leader’ would offer a handshake. Orton would look to the fans, tease accepting, look back to the fans, and then shake… then do a DDP and pull Cena into an RKO. To fully cement the heel turn ‘The Viper’ would follow the RKO up with a stomping session. I’d like to book him to give Cena a punt to the head too, but there’s possibly still a ban on that.

Don't worry: if I was booking WWE up to WrestleMania XXIX Cena wouldn't be going anywhere

This would write Cena off TV for a week or so and create a reason for Orton v Cena to take place at Survivor Series and TLC. I’m not sure which of the two would go over when but they’d each get one pay-per-view victory apiece and their TLC clash would be a gimmick battle of some sort.

Back to the WWE championship. The night after Hell in a Cell I would turn Daniel Bryan face. It may sound poorly planned to do it just like that but the Bryan character is so over that I believe WWE could actually turn him into a huge babyface sensation any time they liked. His monosyllabic chants are a gift for any performer.

I would have Punk head to the ring for a bragging session about having overcome the top two stars in the company before stating that there’s nobody who can beat him and that he’ll be the man to face The Rock at the Royal Rumble. He would then say that he’d like to borrow an idea from Daniel Bryan and ask the fans if they want to see him versus ‘The Great One’. He’d then start chanting “Yes!” which would bring out Bryan.

Hopefully the audience would have chanted “No!” at Punk. It wouldn’t be the end of the world if they didn’t but it would make Bryan’s turn a little smoother. ‘The American Dragon’ would say he agrees with the fans or rhetorically ask himself if he wants to see Rock v Punk, then start chanting “No!” at Punk.

He would remind everyone that he has issues with The Rock himself, but also wants the chance to get into the ring with one of the best of all time at one of WWE’s biggest events of the year. He would challenge Punk to defend the belt against him at Survivor Series. Punk would decline but AJ would appear to say that she agrees that Bryan deserves a shot at the belt.

Bryan v Punk would be made for Survivor Series. There would be no special referees or stipulations, just two great wrestlers having a great match. The lead up to their match would consist of the usual array of tag battles and promos. Punk would continue his unsportsmanlike streak by taking count out losses and refusing handshakes before matches. During promos Bryan would milk the “Yes!” and “No!” cries as much as possible. A good way of safeguarding Bryan would be to have Punk infuriated by the chants, meaning that audiences enjoy chanting and don’t become bored with it.

Punk would go over at Survivor Series with some shady tactics. This would be either his low blow and schoolboy routine or a rollup while holding the ropes. The idea would be for there to be a clear need for a rematch between the two at TLC.

On the post-Survivor Series RAW Punk would attack Bryan with a chair. On the November 26^th show Bryan would retaliate by putting Punk through a table. On the December 3^rd episode Punk would set up a chair, a table and a ladder in the ring and cut a promo talking about how they’ve used one weapon each, with the ladder being the next logical step. Bryan would join him and the result of the segment would be the two agreeing to face off in a Table, Ladders and Chairs match at TLC.

I think Punk and Bryan could have a great TLC outing. Punk worked a highly enjoyable bout with Jeff Hardy under those rules at SummerSlam and I’m sure he could do the same again with Bryan. There would perhaps be less stunts than the average gimmick bout, but they’d still be the best two men to headline the card.

Punk would win clean at TLC. Well, as clean as you can in a whacky match such as TLC. The best finish I can think of is Bryan being shoved off the top of the ladder through a table, allowing Punk to snatch the belt and remain champion. If something better presented itself I’d book that, but Punk would be the man leaving as champion.

That would set up Punk v Rock for the WWE championship at the Royal Rumble on January 27^th. It would also mean that Punk becomes the first WWE champion to hold the belt throughout one calendar year since Hulk Hogan’s first reign from January 23^rd 1984 to February 5^th 1988. It would also give him an impressively long title reign by modern standards. This trivia would keep Michael Cole bleating for weeks.

I’m not sure exactly when WWE will have access to The Rock in the hype for the Royal Rumble. I assume he will appear on at least one episode of RAW so that he can interact with the champion and create interest in the pay-per-view clash.

The Rock would appear in the main event segment. The best way to keep people watching during a three hour show is keeping your biggest star until last. ‘The Great One’ would come out to cut a promo discussing the Rumble pay-per-view, the importance of the WWE championship to him and his eagerness to go into WrestleMania XXIX with the strap. Then, and only then, would he turn his attention to CM Punk.

There’s no point trying to write out a script for a Rock promo. Broadly speaking he would say that CM Punk has lost his way and not represented himself as the champion he said he’d be when he first threw a “tantrum” (that’s a terminology suggestion I’d make). He’d dust off all his old catchphrases and state that he’s lay the smack down on the champ at the Rumble.

CM Punk would head to the ring to join him. Basically, Punk would disagree with The Rock’s view (I know, mind-bending stuff here). Punk would not see himself as having lost his way or failing to be the champion he said he’d be. He’d point out that he’s held the title for fourteen months and beaten everyone put in front of him. At the Rumble that list will grow to include Rock.

The tension would increase throughout the segment and would end with the two battling with one another. Punk would go for a GTS. Rock would slide out and go for a Rock Bottom. Punk would break free with elbow strikes and go for another GTS. Rock would block that and send Punk to the ropes for a spinebuster, followed up by a People’s Elbow.

I’m not sure if The Rock would connect or not. It would be a great moment and get a tremendous pop, but with the result I have planned at the Rumble it’s not really needed. I think if this segment took place on the final RAW before the Rumble then Rock would connect with the Elbow. If it was on an earlier episode of RAW then Punk would slide out of the ring and retreat clutching his title.

I never really like Royal Rumble pay-per-views headlined by anything other than the thirty man match. I don’t think that’s an option here though. You can’t have a match featuring The Rock go on before a match featuring Heath Slater. It’s just not realistic. The Rock and CM Punk would be the only choice for the main event spot of this show and as such they would go on last.

I don’t know how good this match would be. The Rock v Cena clash at ‘Mania suffered from a slow pace and a multitude of poorly disguised rest spots. These were added to the match for Rock’s benefit and I can’t imagine his conditioning has improved in his time away from the ring. I think a shorter, quicker match would be the best thing to book for Punk and Rock at the Rumble, but it would be up to the combatants ultimately.

Rock would go over clean with a Rock Bottom followed by a People’s Elbow. That would mean that the biggest name associated with the company has the most important championship heading into the biggest show of the year (WrestleMania XXIX, not Elimination Chamber). That allows for the company to go all out getting WrestleMana and WWE in general covered by mainstream media.

This man would have to go on last at the Rumble

                                                                                                                                                                               

Daniel Bryan would enter the Royal Rumble at number one and last around forty minutes or so. Bryan’s elimination would be linked to a sequence designed to start two WrestleMania programmes. The first step would be John Cena eliminating Dolph Ziggler. By this point Ziggler would have won and lost the World Heavyweight title in order to free him up for ‘Mania season, and Cena would have been permitted into the match as a special one-off attempt to earn a WWE title match permitted by AJ (perhaps he’d have to beat Punk in a non-title match to earn a spot in the Rumble, I don’t know).

Anyway, Cena eliminates ‘The Show Off’ on the aisle side of the ring. Ziggler, unhappy with this situation, yanks Cena out of the ring under the bottom rope and throws him into ring steps and hits a Zig Zag onto the floor. Basically attacks Cena more viciously than we are used to Cena being attacked by anything other than a top guy.

While that’s going on Bryan eliminates Randy Orton on the announce desk side of the ring, but as the officials are all preoccupied with Ziggler and Cena this goes unnoticed. ‘The Viper’ sneaks back into the ring and chucks an unsuspecting Bryan over the top rope into the aisle right in front of all the referees. Bryan protests (perhaps screaming “No!” depending on whether or not that cry becomes too heelish after his face turn) but ends up heading to the back.

Cena would clamber back into the ring to valiantly continue his quest to regain the WWE title and would make it to the final four alongside Orton, Sheamus and Brock Lesnar.

This is as good a time as any to mention that Lesnar would have recorded some vignettes leading up to the Rumble stating that he wants to win the WWE title so that he can dominate the company as champion for years and destroy it from the inside. The destruction of WWE would be Lesnar’s stated mission heading into the show.

‘The Pain’ would work over Cena while Sheamus and Orton battled one another. ‘The Viper’ would manage to eliminate ‘The Celtic Warrior’ by using the tried and tested Protected Babyface Elimination Method™ of pulling the rope down as Sheamus charges him.

Orton and Lesnar would double team Cena in the closing moments of the match. Cena would fight back and manage to get and fluke elimination on Orton, leaving us with Lesnar and Cena as the final two. I like the idea of reusing the spot from Extreme Rules that saw ‘The Pain’ sail over top rope to the outside of the ring as Cena’s method of eliminating him. If that was possible to work without ring steps I’d book it and have Cena win that way.

Yes, Cena would win. Cena v Rock II at WrestleMania XXIX? Read on to see!

The following evening on RAW there would be a big angle to set up the Elimination Chamber three weeks later. Cena would come out to cut a victory promo about how he now has a rematch with The Rock to look forward to, which would be quickly interrupted by Dolph Ziggler. ‘The Show Off’ would state that if there were any justice he’d be the man facing The Rock and remind everyone of how he battered Cena the night before.

This would bring out Orton, who would say that he was only eliminated by luck and that if Cena had the guts to put the Rock match on the line against him there’s no way he’d win. ‘The Viper’s’ presence would attract Daniel Bryan. He would say he’s not there to whine about losing the night before, he’s there to make Orton tap out.

Before that could happen Lesnar’s music would play and Paul Heyman would come out to the entrance ramp with a business proposition for Cena: sell his match with The Rock to Brock Lesnar and allow ‘The Pain’ the pleasure of breaking the neck of the company’s saviour in the headline match of WrestleMania XXIX.

Cena would give his typically comical response to everyone who’d joined him before saying he’s a fighter and not afraid to back down from anyone, agreeing to put his Rumble victory up for grabs in an Elimination Chamber match on February 17^th. With that RAW would go to a break.

Later in the show AJ would make the Chamber match official in a backstage segment and add CM Punk to the mix to make the number up to six. Speaking of Punk, he’d get his own in-ring segment later in the show to talk about the epic title reign he’d just enjoyed (stretching from November 20^th 2011 to January 27^th 2013), his pride at having been champion for that long, and to make a promise that he’d be the man to dethrone The Rock.

There would be no WWE championship match at Elimination Chamber because The Rock wouldn’t be booked to wrestle (though I’d try to have him appearing in some capacity). The Chamber bout itself would go on last and would be the only one on the show (the trend of booking two on the card is excessive and only dilutes the importance of what is supposed to be a gruelling bout).

Dolph Ziggler and Daniel Bryan would start off and give us solid wrestling for the first five minutes. They’d be joined by Randy Orton next, allowing Bryan to be the underdog babyface battling superior numbers. The fourth man in would be John Cena, who would immediately target Dolph Ziggler. Before entrant number five entered ‘The Heel’ would eat an AA and be eliminated.

Cena would then turn around into an RKO to write him out of proceedings for a moment or two. Bryan and Orton would wrestle for a minute or so before Bryan would get a surprise small package on ‘The Apex Predator’ and eliminate him. Orton would go ballistic at the officials telling him to leave the ring as Bryan drags himself up with the ropes.

As Bryan turned around to rejoin the match he’d get an RKO from Orton. Lesnar would then enter as the fifth man and briefly have a stare off with Orton. The former Evolution member would raise his hands up and indicate Bryan limp on the mat, then leave. Brock would pin Bryan and we’d be down to he, Cena and Punk, with Punk still in his pod.

Lesnar would batter Cena for several minutes. There are numerous spots that could be planned to make him look an animal. In addition to basic heat building devices such as throwing Cena to the outside and into the chains Lesnar could also ram ‘The CeNation Leader’ through the Plexiglas of a vacated pod and wrench a length of chain free to wrap around his first. The aim would be for Cena to take a battering and make it clear that he’s a beaten man: ‘The Pain’ could win whenever he’s ready.

Sometime during this Punk’s pod would open but he’d stay put watching the carnage. Cole could push this as smart, Lawler could call it a coward’s way out.

After a few minutes of Cena being pulped the lights would go out, coming back on a moment later to reveal the Undertaker in the ring. Lesnar would turn around and go to attack, only for ‘Taker to fend him off and nail a Tombstone.

‘The Dead Man’ would pull a bedraggled Cena onto Lesnar, the referee would make the count and we’d have two men left: Cena and Punk.

Punk would immediately dash out of his pod to attempt a quick pin on Cena. Cena would kick out. Punk would hit a GTS. Cena would kick out. Punk would then either lock in the Anaconda Vice for a victory via stoppage or wrap the length of chain Lesnar used around his knee and get Cena with a second GTS for a pinfall victory.

This would set up Punk v Rock II for WrestleMania XXIX. At the show Punk would regain the title and go forward into 2013 as a massive heel and the man who handed The Rock his first loss in over a decade.

On the WrestleMania XXIX undercard Daniel Bryan would get a win over Randy Orton and John Cena would put over Dolph Ziggler. Building for the future. That’s what WWE should be doing.

Brock Lesnar would be the man to challenge The Streak. The hype for that match would be based around Lesnar’s yearning to destroy WWE, with ‘Taker built up as the last bastion of hope for the league. Naturally Undertaker would win, his undefeated record couldn’t be ended, but I think a lot of people would be torn if that match were booked well enough.

Luck of the Irish

In an effort to surprise its audience WWE booked Sheamus to win this year’s Royal Rumble back in January. The promotion apparently felt that it was too obvious either Chris Jericho or hometown boy Randy Orton were going to win. They’re right: that was obvious. But they have nobody to blame for that predictability but themselves.

The central WrestleMania storylines should have been mapped out at least a month in advance of the Rumble. That would have allowed each episode of RAW and SmackDown to be honed and refined to advance the various feuds at the ideal pace. It also would have allowed WWE to realise in advance that a victory by ‘Y2J’ or ‘The Viper’ in the annual January event was predictable and made changes in advance. That could either have been picking a new winner and creating a worthwhile story for them or building up a third potential winner so fans were less sure of who was going over.

The problem isn’t that Sheamus won, because he’s sufficiently over enough to be a convincing victor. The problem is that as the decision for him to win was made at the last minute ‘Great White’ was left with nothing to do for several weeks.

Next World champ?

Look back at the last several weeks of television and you’ll see what I mean. In the three weeks between the Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber Sheamus was booked to give what was essentially the same promo several times over, sometimes twice in one week (on both RAW and SmackDown).

He didn’t wrestle on the EC card at all. That was foolish on several levels. Firstly he was featured on the event’s poster and television ads. From that alone customers were entitled to expect to see him more prominently featured than he was. Secondly, as the winner of one of the company’s premier events, it seemed reasonable to expect Sheamus to be featured in a match of some kind. That he wasn’t makes him look like an afterthought whom WWE has little confidence in.

Instead of a match or a memorable promo in which he officially announced which champion he had chosen to face at ‘Mania all Sheamus got to do at the Chamber show was come out to the ring after the SmackDown cage bout and attack Daniel Bryan. That was all the indication we were given that Sheamus had decided to face the World Heavyweight champ. He wasn’t even permitted to speak. The commentary team did that for him.

His matches over the last month and a half have generally been utterly forgettable affairs. Usually they’ve been tag matches in which he’s played second fiddle to someone else’s WrestleMania program. Tossing an attempting-to-escape Daniel Bryan back into matches has been his activity of preference in the last several weeks. At a time when he should be getting the biggest push of his career that’s not good enough.

WWE should have given ‘Great White’ a mini feud between the Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber. There are plenty of guys on the roster that would have benefitted from a short run with a guy in his spot. Had that been done Elimination Chamber would have provided with another worthwhile match. The perfect candidate would have been Jack Swagger: he was left doing nothing during this period, and he’s talented enough to lose an entertaining filler match while making his opponent look good. Sheamus v Swagger would also have had the added bonus of ridding the Chamber card of ‘The All American American’s’ boring clash with Justin Gabriel.

The Sheamus v Bryan clash needs all the booking help it can get. WWE may not be reliant on this match to draw viewers (that honour goes to Rock v Cena and, to a lesser extent Undertaker v Triple H and Chris Jericho v CM Punk) but it still needs to be presented as an important match in order to preserve the prestige of the World title, not to mention the two performers involved, whom WWE are going to be relying on for future business.

Sheamus isn’t a bad wrestler, nor is he a poor choice for Royal Rumble winner or WrestleMania title challenger. He’s simply the unfortunate victim of WWE’s inability to plan accordingly. There’s nothing wrong with a predictable match finish, especially at the Royal Rumble. In fact I’d say that’s exactly the sort of match in which you can get away with booking a predictable winner, because so much else about the match is unpredictable and surprising. Perhaps WWE could bear that in mind next year, and stick to their original plans.

What would be even better is if they exhibited the ability to concoct long term plans before next January rolls around. But that would be asking too much, wouldn’t it...

Chosen for Mediocrity

Remember a couple of years ago when Drew McIntyre was singled out by Vince McMahon as a future world champion and given the lofty moniker of 'The Chosen One'? What happened to that guy?

Drew McIntyre in 2012 is not as high on the card as he ought to be. He originally debuted in 2007 but failed to make an impact, so he was bundled off to OVW to train. He returned in August 2009 and received a very healthy push. Unfortunately for the Scot history repeated itself and he gradually slipped down the card as other characters were introduced and the writing team lost interest in him. McIntyre himself is also partially responsible for his current position as he's never fully clicked as a top heel in the organisation, despite having the spotlight and backing to do so.

'The Chosen One.' What he's been chosen for isn't clear...

He spent much of 2011 languishing on Superstars, officially a member of the RAW brand. He officially returned to the blue brand on December 30th and has since been saddled with the losing streak gimmick.

If booked correctly a wrestler can get over with continual losses. It helps if there's a plan in place to end the trend before the storyline is launched, and also if the audience are sympathetic to the loser. Neither is the case here. McIntyre is a heel, so fans don't care if he never wins, and as is usually the case in WWE these days it doesn't appear that the idea was fully thought through when it was first considereed. They've come up with the idea of Drew losing all the time but don't know where to go with it. Basically they've consciously decided to make him a jobber with a featured spot.

This direction caused McIntyre to be omitted from the Royal Rumble match (he lost a squash bout to Brodus Clay at the event). He didn't appear at Elimination Chamber at all. He could have had a role in the Rumble and appeared at EC without the loser gimmick being compromised, which would have helped him and the storyline gain acceptance.

Had Drew entered the Rumble and been eliminated immediately the match would have had one more comedy moment that also added to a minor on-going storyline. Mid-card stars receiving any sort of push should always be included in the Royal Rumble unless their exclusion is part of a wider story (as was the case with Cody Rhodes last year for example).

There was enough room on the Elimination Chamber broadcast for him to be featured in a squash match. Even if there hadn’t been such a match could have replaced the utterly pointless Jack Swagger v Justin Gabriel nonsense that clogged up the show. McIntyre being placed into a match while the show was taking place would have made him look like an afterthought: surely a desirable attribute for someone being presented as a loser.

I've no idea where WWE's creative team intend to take McIntyre but a plan needs to be sorted out. There are rumours that WrestleMania will include a Team Long v Team Laurinaitis match, with the winning team's patron becoming GM of both RAW and SmackDown. How about including him in that and having him be the lone (or one of two) survivor(s) on a victorious heel team? He could then be rewarded by Laurinaitis with a shot against a newly-crowned babyface US champ (Zack Ryder would be ideal) and cheat to win the strap. That would provide a satisfying conclusion to the loser story and set up a new McIntyre v Ryder feud that could run for a month or two.

Alternatively McIntyre could be reunited with former tag team partner Cody Rhodes, with the long term plan being to do a gradual split. If that were teased long enough then McIntyre could successfully be turned face and capture the Intercontinental title from 'The Dashing One.' Cody could then move on to the main event, leaving McIntyre free to enjoy a spot in the upper mid-card.

I'd also recommend changing the guy's look. A succession of new trunks aside he has looked the same for years. It's time he changed things up. It would help him stand out, both with the fans and the writing team. Neither is a bad thing.

Drew McIntyre is someone WWE should be looking at as an upper mid-card act to be relied upon for years to come. He has the potential to be a main event star, but in order for him to make it to the top he has to be given a chance. In this case a chance starts with a plan.

Filler Eliminated

As was the case with January's Royal Rumble February's Elimination Chamber could have been so much more special than it was. A lack of proper planning and a dubious running order meant that the show ended up being just another filler event.
 
I'll begin my recap in the middle of the card with the SmackDown Elimination Chamber. That's the one that should have opened the show, because it had fewer big names and a lump like the Great Khali to incorporate. A spot involving Big Show breaking into Daniel Bryan's pod and smashing him through the allegedly bulletproof Plexiglas meant that the blue brand's cage clash had to go on after its RAW counterpart. Had it gone on first the RAW crew would have had a broken pod to contend with. Clearly that wasn’t an option.
 
This match had some big limitations to work around. Firstly Randy Orton was injured, and he clearly would have been booked as the star babyface and clashed with defending champion Daniel Bryan in the closing moments. His replacement, Santino Marella, may be over but he’s also a comedy figure and so was never going to convince anyone that he had a chance of winning. The other two good guys were limited in what they could do (severely limited in the case of 'The Punjabi Playboy'), and the three best workers in the match were all heels.
 
That's a lot to overcome, but all six men and the writing team pulled off a very enjoyable match. Big Show was booked as a monster and put over rising star Cody Rhodes on his way out. Both were good moves. Khali's involvement was kept brief so he didn't get the chance to ruin things. Barrett was booked to look dominant in the second half of the bout, battering both Bryan and Santino. The match's greatest strength lay in letting Daniel Bryan do what he does best in the closing moments: making a wrestler (in this case 'The Milan Miracle') far below him on the card look like his equal and genuine contender.
 
The World Heavyweight championship match was a triumph. Congratulations to everyone involved.
 
Sadly the same can’t be said of the RAW brand's Chamber extravaganza. It's not that the match was bad, it just didn't make the most of what it had. Dolph Ziggler and Kofi Kingston both deserved to be elevated with strong performances. Neither was. Kofi was one of the first two men in and lasted a fairly long time, but he was in there to make others look good and set up an angle between Jericho and Punk (I’ll get to that). He deserves a chance at cracking the main event scene. That didn't happen here and it's unlikely to happen any time in the foreseeable future.
 
'The Heel' was dealt an even worse hand than 'The Dreadlocked Dynamo’, lasting a shorter amount of time and being eliminated far too easily with a single Codebreaker. Miz got a better deal: he was one of the final two men in the match alongside defending champion CM Punk. That surprised me: he was rumoured to be in management's bad books after failing to catch R-Truth on RAW a few weeks ago so the last thing I expected was for him to be in the closing moments of the match alongside the WWE champion.
 
I dislike saying it but Miz shouldn't have made it that far. He had a fair chance to establish himself as a headliner last year and didn't manage it. That he's sunk back to the middle of the card in the last nine months is nobody's fault but his own. Ziggler would have been a better choice for that spot as he’s a man on the rise.
 
The other reason this match didn't go on higher on the card (besides Big Show wrecking the cage) was that the finish would have been and immensely disappointing way to end a pay-per-view. For those who are unaware Chris Jericho tossed Kofi Kingston through the open doorway after eliminating him then turned around into a kick from Punk that sent him sprawling to the aisle. He then lolled about on the concrete as though he'd suffered a concussion or some other injury that would prevent him from continuing (he hadn’t). That led to the climactic moments between Miz and the champ. Jericho didn't return to the cage and failed to be eliminated. I imagine this will be referenced on RAW this evening and lead to 'Y2J' demanding a one-on-one title match at WrestleMania. He will receive it.

In a strange in-ring segment we witnessed the return of both Alberto Del Rio and Christian. They both came out to advocate John Laurinaitis taking over the role of SmackDown GM from Teddy Long. I don’t think that would be a bad idea: Long has been in that role, on and off, for eight years now and has done everything he can in it. Laurinaitis appearing on both shows would allow the brand extension idea to be officially dissolved, which is in WWE’s best interests right now considering the shallow depth of the roster.

It was irritating that Christian returned here in an in-ring segment and not a month ago at the Royal Rumble or on Friday’s SmackDown to be included in the Chamber scrap. As he’s clearly being kept as a heel the decision makes sense, but I still think turning him emergency babyface and letting him perform what became Santino’s role would have been a better decision for business.

The view from Otunga's phone during the returning-heel heavy in-ring segment.

 
The filler matches were what you'd expect. Beth Phoenix and Tamina Snuka put on an enjoyable show that the crowd didn't care about. Surprisingly, nothing was set up for the Divas' division going into WrestleMania. Would it really have been that much effort to have Natalya get into an argument with her fellow Sister of Destruction or for Kharma to make her second appearance of 2012 for a stare-off with the champ?

The other filler match was Jack Swagger defending his worthless United States title against Justin Gabriel. The match was set up in a backstage skit that also involved Vickie Guerrero and Hornswoggle. It was as good as it sounds. Swagger won a limp showing that was oddly placed between the SmackDown Chamber match and the evening’s main event.

Which brings us nicely to the John Cena versus Kane Ambulance match. The two had an entertaining brawl that took in the seating area and some technical tables, before Cena got the inevitable win by AAing ‘The Big Red Monster’ off the top of the ambulance onto a waiting (and hidden from view) crash mat. This match accomplished its two main goals of ending the feud and making Cena look strong for his upcoming exchanges with The Rock. It did nothing else. That it went on last annoys me but ultimately it makes little difference because the card was such a washout. For the record, that decision was made so that the show ended with a face victory (Cena) instead of a heel victory (Bryan). At least we know WWE still thinks of things like that from time to time. That’s an encouraging sign.

Overall Elimination Chamber was another blown opportunity and it looks as though tonight’s RAW is going to be a better show, just as the post-Rumble RAW was superior to the Rumble. The Undertaker is confirmed to appear, Cena is going to start targeting Rock (which will be far more interesting than what he’s been doing with Kane) and there are said to be several big angles planned that will kick off WrestleMania feuds. WWE needs to get itself out of the habit of giving away appearances by big names on free television and start making audiences pay for them. This is not the way wrestling is supposed to work!

Eliminating a Problem

There’s a very obvious problem with Sunday’s Elimination Chamber pay-per-view (which I’ve previewed in full here). That problem is Santino Marella.

‘The Milan Miracle’ is not a credible edition to a pay-per-view main event, especially the Elimination Chamber, which is generally presented as being among the most gruelling bouts in WWE. His inclusion not only runs the risk of tarnishing that reputation but also the reputations of the main event and mid-card performers who are also in the match.

If Santino is permitted to look competitive against the likes of Cody Rhodes, Wade Barrett and Daniel Bryan they will end up looking weak for being unable to easily take care of a comedy wrestler. The plan is likely for Santino to work the majority of the match because he’s the only good guy involved who can wrestle for more than four minutes without getting blown up.

That he’s replacing Randy Orton, one of the company’s biggest stars, doesn’t do ‘The Viper’ any favours either.

This man should not be main eventing pay-per-views

But where there’s a problem there’s a solution. How about this for an idea…

As Santino is making his way to ringside he is attacked by über-heel Mark Henry. Henry’s more-knackered-than-normal knees may require Santino to kill time playing to fans in the aisle so that ‘The World’s Strongest Man’ doesn’t have to run too fast to catch him but that shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

Once Henry has smacked Santino about, knocking him into the aisle barriers and the cage itself as tradition dictates, he would take a microphone and demand that SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long instate him in the match in Marella’s place. Long would come out and inform Henry that he is not being put into the match because the perfect replacement just happened to be backstage. That may sound convenient but this is WWE we’re talking about, and in fairness the company is in a tight corner with regards to sorting this mess out.

The convenient replacement could be revealed as Christian, acting and wrestling like a babyface. Ideally he would be one of the first two men into the match against Bryan, Rhodes or Barrett as that would allow his new role as a good guy to be made clear early on and encourage fans to get behind him.

Turning ‘Captain Charisma’ may seem like a rash move but with Orton and Sheamus the only other two decent babyface workers at the top of the SmackDown card it makes sense. ‘The Instant Classic’ is more than capable of working against rising heels and could put a great series together with World champion Daniel Bryan. It would also give the SmackDown Chamber bout a wrestler for fans to rally behind that can work the entire match without being booked to take lengthy rest periods (and isn’t a comedy performer).

Hopefully this sequence, or something similar to it, takes place on Sunday. The alternative is going back in time and giving the spot to Gillberg, and that’s just not a realistic option.

Elimination Chamber preview

You have to wonder about WWE’s booking sometimes. The night after last month’s Royal Rumble pay-per-view the Undertaker made his first appearance in nine months. On Monday’s RAW Shawn Michaels made his first appearance since last summer. In the next several weeks The Rock is due to return to RAW in order to begin the final push towards WrestleMania XXVIII, hyping his feud with John Cena.

That’s three huge names that will spike ratings all returning (one unadvertised) on free television. Would it have been too much to ask to save one of them for Sunday’s Elimination Chamber pay-per-view? If any of the three were advertised to appear it would help increase interest in the show. The Rock could confront John Cena. ‘HBK’ and ‘The Game’ could have had exactly the same exchange they had on RAW at Elimination Chamber.  Things could have been rejigged so that Undertaker made an advertised appearance at the PPV. WWE had options, all of which would have encouraged people to buy this Sunday’s show.

Elimination Chamber feels like a wasted opportunity. Because it is. At this time of year WWE should be taking advantage of the increased interest fans have in their product by putting things people want to see on pay-per-view. That’s how the system is supposed to work! Instead they’re giving away big name returns on free TV.

Rant done with I can now say that I am looking forward to this year’s Elimination Chamber more than any from previous years. I’m a fan of the Chamber match concept but tend to dislike its placing in the annual supershow line-up. Basically I always feel that the February event shouldn’t be a gimmicked one as that would allow WWE more creative freedom to promote the matches and angles they need to, rather than having to work around the cage matches. I’m also of the opinion that it dilutes the importance of the Royal Rumble. They’ve never done a bad job with the show, but it would be nice if it were left until later in the year when it could be used to greater effect and not be a potential burden on WrestleMania plans.

What I’m most excited about with this year’s show are the men entering the Chambers matches. For the first time in years the Chamber bouts are not laden with veterans. The inclusion of big names tends to mean that they become the focus of the booking and any young stars involved are there solely to fill spaces and make the veterans look good. This year there are far fewer veterans involved in the Chamber bouts, and the ones that are there fit in with the younger line-ups well, for the most part.

Big Show’s inclusion would be more irritating in different circumstances. As it is he has been in the main event picture for months so it makes sense for him to be wrestling for the World Heavyweight title here. The only true dead weight is the Great Khali, replacing an injured Mark Henry. Again, as he’s a last minute replacement the blow is softened. I imagine both giants will be booked carefully and not be involved in the match for too long (Khali especially).

Of the two I’m far more looking forward to the RAW Chamber more. CM Punk defending against surprise inclusion Kofi Kingston, Miz, R-Truth, Dolph Ziggler, and expected WrestleMania opponent Chris Jericho has the potential to be a Match of the Year candidate. There’s nobody in there who’s a poor worker, and nobody in there who hasn’t earned a chance to shine in the last year.

There aren’t really that many options for a winner but that’s always the case. This one is going to go to Jericho or Punk, and my money’s on Punk. I’m also expecting the booking and talent level to make this the match of the night.

The SmackDown Chamber, thanks to Show and Khali, won’t be quite as impressive. Orton being pulled from the line-up is also a blow. His replacement is a worse one: at Tuesday’s SmackDown taping Santino Marella won a battle royal to earn the vacant spot in the World Heavyweight championship bout.

I understand that the SmackDown roster is desperately thin on babyface stars but the addition of Santino is absurd. Christian is surely capable of returning from the ankle injury he suffered in November by now, and could have been turned emergency face. The same goes, at a push, for Jack Swagger. He’s currently killing time playing backup to Dolph Ziggler on RAW, he could have been given a chance to succeed as a mid-card face on SmackDown. Had WWE not squandered Zack Ryder’s popularity in the recent Kane v Cena feud he could have been given a shot in the Chamber too. Including Santino only makes a bad situation worse.

On the positive side if Barrett, Rhodes and Bryan are allowed to do their stuff it could still be excellent. As I mentioned above I can imagine Khali and Show’s involvement being limited. Santino will probably get a fair amount of ring time simply because he’s in better condition than those too. He’s over so that will at least ensure the crowd get into the match. Show will probably eliminate Rhodes or Barrett (or both) before being eliminated by Bryan or Khali (in the absence of Orton, who was my original choice to eliminate ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’).

Assuming he recovers I’m currently expecting a Randy Orton v Sheamus v Daniel Bryan match at WrestleMania XXVIII. As he’s the only one of the three in the cage on Sunday Bryan is the man I’m expecting to see walk out with the gold.

I also think there was something a little off about Sheamus mentioning how every year at least one world title changes hands on this show. That made me think that WWE were drawing attention to the statistic so that they could play on it and make people expect a title change when there isn’t one planned at all. Perhaps I’m overthinking that (in fact I definitely am) but it’s what struck me when it was said.

Then there’s the rest of the card. While the titular bouts make me actively look forward to this show both of the other announced matches just make me feel apathetic. The worst offender is the John Cena v Kane ambulance match. Those two have been rucking for two months now and yet all they’ve really accomplished is some storyline rubbish involving fireballs and Zack Ryder failing to change a car tyre.

With Cena about to head into his feud with The Rock I imagine he’ll win this to look strong for WrestleMania. As tedious as the feud’s been at least it’s given us Royal Rumble and Elimination Chamber matches without Cena involved. That’s a big bonus as it’s allowed other people the chance to take a turn in the spotlight without WWE needing to promote pay-per-views without their top star.

Beth Phoenix defending the Divas’ title against Tamina Snuka, as she is now being billed, should be a good WWE women’s match and due to the slight number of matches announced for the show there’s a good chance they’ll get an above average amount of time. I’d like to see the discord between the Sisters of Destruction that was hinted at a few weeks ago revisited and built on here. Natalya v Beth Phoneix is the way to go for this year’s WrestleMania.

That’s it for the currently announced matches at Elimination Chamber 2012. That WWE is only advertising four bouts for a show in their peak viewing period of the year is worrying. Plans need to be made farther in advance if this is the attitude being taken towards B level PPVs. Sheamus, the Royal Rumble winner and challenger to a world title at WrestleMania, is not advertised to do anything on the show. Give him a match or announce that he’s going to decide who he’ll face at ‘Mania. Do something with him. Right now he looks like an afterthought (not even that, technically) rather than the top babyface star he should be.

He's on the poster but he has no match. What will Sheamus end up doing when he makes his inevitable appearance on Sunday?

With so many top names involved in Chamber matches WWE could be using this show to try and put a little more emphasis on the Divas and tag team divisions. That’s clearly not happening though, because WWE doesn’t see them as being important or a way of making money. That’s a shame. Female wrestlers, if given enough time, can be just as entertaining as their male counterparts. Tag teams meanwhile, are great places for young guys to start out their WWE careers before progressing on to become integral mid-card solo acts. It worked for Shawn Michaels. I have written these things before.

While I’m sure Elimination Chamber will be saved by the world title bouts it’s a shame that we have nothing more to look forward to on such a pivotal show. Especially when the company is said to be preparing several big angles for Monday’s RAW.

Predictions summary:

CM Punk to retain the WWE championship

Daniel Bryan to retain the World Heavyweight championship

John Cena to defeat Kane

Beth Phoenix to defeat Tamina Snuka