The Retirement of 'The Animal'

Dave Bautista. Remember him? He's the guy who left WWE last year to go and be a success in Hollywood based off his role in surprise smash hit Guardians of the Galaxy. He's the man who is arguably a bigger wrestler-turned-actor than Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson at this point, because really how many legitimately enjoyable and successful films has Rocky starred in and how many does he have lined up? Big Dave's been cast in a Bond film, that's pretty big business.

But I'm not writing this to directly compare Batista and The Rock. That wouldn't be especially interesting and there would be no purpose to it. The subject here is whether or not we've seen the last of 'The Animal' in a wrestling ring.

"Don't like me? Thumbs down!"

The short, lazy answer is "No." The slightly less short but no less lazy answer is "No, obviously not." The reason for this is that Batista is a pal of Triple H, a guy very high up in the WWE decision-making and creative process. On top of that there's the fact that WWE always enjoys cross-promoting with mainstream stars, and to them there is no star more mainstream than a Hollywood actor. Having one who is known just as well in the wrestling as in the acting world is an added bonus, as is having one who can actually get into the ring and wrestle a match under their own steam without being carried by someone. Which is an ability Batista has¹.

But this doesn't necessarily mean Batsy will wrestle again. There's a difference between making an appearance to promote a movie and maybe Batista bombing a mid-card act and returning to the ring for the sort of short term run we saw last year. The former gets word out about a product that needs promoting whilst actually going on the road to wrestle every night sees guys run the risk of injury, which can hamper the more important (and highly-paid) acting work.

I enjoyed Batista's run last year. The guy's never been great in the ring but 2014 saw him participate in some enjoyable matches, most obviously the triple threat with Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton at WrestleMania and the two Evolution versus Shield bouts at Extreme Rules and Payback. He showed he could contribute to excellent matches if he was booked correctly and his weaknesses were hidden. More importantly he absolutely nailed his role as a man who thinks he's a big shot because he's been in films. He did some career best work once he was allowed to fully embrace his status as a heel. Plus there were the Bluetista and Wave Batista memes, things which will end up, rightly or wrongly (but, y'know, definitely rightly) as highlights of Batista's career.

It's these memes that actually make me think Batista will never return for anything beyond one or two matches at a time. They demonstrate how wrestling fans are willing to turn Batista into a figure of fun and ridicule. The guy doesn't actually need wrestling. He is, as mentioned above, a star and a success without wrestling now, and as such he has no reason to put up with wrestling fans having fun at his expense. It could be argued that that's part of the job of a heel but Batista wasn't actually meant to be a heel last year.

By all accounts Batista signed on for a return on the understanding that he'd win the Royal Rumble and be the fiery babyface to end Randy Orton's world title reign at WrestleMania. I don't imagine he'd be holding a grudge against fans for "costing" him a title reign, but I do think the treatment he received will have made me think a little harder about future returns. Wrestling seems to be something that he still enjoys but it's not something he needs for a living or, for that matter, to get people to go and see the films he's in.

If I had to put money on it I'd say we'll see Batista return and wrestle again. He's been very open about his desire for a WrestleMania retirement match. While he may not get his wish of retiring opposite Triple H I do think he's a big enough and important enough name for WWE to do a retirement match with him on 'The Grandest Stage of Them All'. A full time run seems unlikely though. Batista simply doesn't need it. Which is a shame because 2014 showed that there's plenty of mileage left in Batista's narcissistic egomaniac character yet.

***

¹ Insert your own joke about Batista's ability here.

AJ Lee Retirement... Outta Nowhere!

On Friday 3 April it was announced that AJ Lee had retired, with immediate effect, from in-ring competition.

Pregnant? Irresistable offer from TNA?
Heading to UFC? Find out what's next for AJ
when she hits the shoot video circuit!

Despite the large amount of time she's taken off over the last year and the persistent rumours that she was leaving, or had decided not to re-sign when her contract expires, this news came as a surprise. AJ had only returned to the company in February and had been involved in a storyline opposite Divas champ Nikki Bella. She had, in fact, made Nikki tap out at WrestleMania. That's an indication that WWE believed she'd be around for a while. Had they known, or even suspected, she would be retiring less than a week later it's likely Nikki would have found herself tapping out to Paige's PTO instead.

The initial response from many people has been to label this a huge loss. "#ThankYouAJ" trended on Twitter within minutes of the news being announced and was still trending a day later. It is a loss, no question, but I don't think it's quite the blow people think it is.

For starters it's important to note that, rightly or wrongly, the Divas division is not that important in WWE right now. AJ may be one of the main names attached to it but it's still a very minor part of the overall product. The division isn't presented with any legitimacy so it doesn't really matter if one of the women who has legitimacy leaves. It won't change the way the division is viewed the way, for example, a Lita or Trish Stratus departure would have done in 2002. Then the women's division was well-booked and they were two of its most popular contributors. Now there aren't any fans of WWE's Divas division, just fans of individual Divas.

There's also the question of AJ's ability. She's frequently credited as being one of WWE's best female wrestlers. She's good, but is she really head and shoulders above the rest of the women under contract? On the main roster Paige and Natalya are easily as good as her, if not better. Naomi isn't far behind, and I don't think the Bellas (on a good time with some time behind them) are either.

If you widen things and consider the women in NXT too then AJ's status takes a further hit. In the last year Emma, Bayley, Charlotte, and Sasha Banks have all had better matches than I can ever remember AJ having. They benefit from more time than AJ has ever done for her matches, true, but that only further highlights how little AJ is able to contribute as part o the Divas division. Alexa Bliss is rough around the edges but improving. The only women on televised NXT that can definitely be said to not come close to being as good as AJ are Becky Lynch and Carmella. That's hardly glowing praise.

Less AJ means more Natalya and Naomi. I'm down with that.

This is not to knock AJ. She's very good. It's certainly not to knock the impact she's had on WWE. Since her debut on the third season of original format NXT (the unfortunate Vince McMahon experiment that gave us the Nexus) she has become one of the most important female wrestlers of the last decade. She was a believable character who got to interact with guys at the top of the card, something which may still prove to be a significant point of progression for WWE in the long run. At a time when women in WWE are marginalised and have their work presented as filler material AJ managed to get over and make herself a meaningful character. That was impressive and speaks to her ability. It's something others will benefit from in the future.

But in terms of match quality AJ Lee's retirement is not the monumental loss it's being treated as. This is one of those periodic shifts wrestling companies actually benefit from. An established star leaves and creates a spot for someone else. A new addition was probably going to get called up to the main roster soon anyway, so AJ's departure means we could get two instead. Imagine how much better the Divas division could (important to note I'm saying could, I'm not confident WWE will actually start giving their main roster female performers the time they deserve) be if Sasha Banks got brought up alongside lead candidate Charlotte.

AJ's impact over the last few years has been important. I think we'll see that when we look back in years to come. But at this point, with the Divas still not getting much air time and the entire division feeling overly familiar, AJ's departure is for the best. It allows fresh names to come in and shake things up. There could be no end more fitting to her legacy than the Divas division flourishing in the wake of her retirement. I hope it's allowed to and I hope she enjoys whatever she gets up to next. Let's just hope it's not a move to UFC. I don't think a fight against Ronda Rousey would end well for her.

Rey Mysterio's Last Stand

For the past several years Rey Mysterio's injury-inspired comings and goings have seen the star greeted with increasing indifference by the WWE faithful. At Royal Rumble it progressed into outright hostility. WWE are being sent a sign. Fans are not as keen on Rey Mysterio as they used to be.

In one sense this is saddening. As Rey Misterio Jr he was at one time numbered among the greatest high-flying wrestlers in the world. A look at pretty much any of his work in AAA and WCW bears that out. He entered dynamic performances notable for their dazzling aerial moves and breakneck speed. Before even turning up in WWE Rey had a string of classics to his name with the likes of Eddie Guerrero, Ultimo Dragon, Psicosis, Blitzkrieg, and Dean Malenko.

Rey's move to WWE gave his career a shot in the arm after it had lagged in WCW’s final years. After sitting out the poorly received invasion angle (Rey was paid by Time Warner after WCW shut down, as were various other personalities) Rey moved to WWE just as they launched their separate rosters initiative. It was perfect timing for him: with SmackDown only having access to half of the promotion's top stars the twenty eight year old Rey (now going by the name Rey Mysterio) was immediately presented as a rising star.

Although he altered his style to be more compatible with WWE’s it was still unlike anything that had been presented by the company in years. Coupled with his natural charisma and marketable look Rey was a success almost instantly. His first few years with the company were characterised by memorable interactions with the likes of Edge, Kurt Angle, Chris Benoit, and old foe Eddie Guerrero.

Mysterio had a good run in WWE. He was consistently presented as a top act for many years and worked opposite practically every major name in the company in meaningful programmes. He took the smart approach of altering his style as his went, phasing out things such as his springboard hurricanrana and replacing them with moves like his springboard leg drop in order to preserve his body. His merchandise continued to sell well too. Even now he's amongst the top sellers in WWE, thanks mainly to his masks.

"Come in number 619, your time is up."

But nothing lasts forever, as alluded to in the opening paragraph. Despite taking the necessary precautions Mysterio's style started to catch up to him and he became synonymous not with being an incredible high-flying attraction and top tier all-rounder but with being massively unreliable and permanently injured. When he wasn’t taking a lengthy break for surgery, "personal situations" or a general rest Rey was entering performances that would have embarrassed him a decade earlier.

The boos Rey heard at Royal Rumble, and again in his battle royal appearance at WrestleMania XXX and the April 7 RAW, was the audience's way of saying that they're tired of Rey Mysterio. I agree with them, as I've written before. Mysterio should retire while he's still capable of getting close to the high standard he set for himself throughout much of his career. The perfect time for that would be at next year's WrestleMania XXXI. It will be held in Santa Clara, California, Mysterio's home state. A man of his standing deserves to go out with a retirement match at WrestleMania, especially if it's in an area particularly meaningful to them or their career. There's no better place for Rey to retire, and enter the Hall of Fame, than California.

But right now that's still a year away. WWE could simply keep Rey off TV until early next year, bringing him back to work a two or three month story culminating in his last outing at 'Mania opposite a rising star who'd benefit from defeating him. But I'd like to see them do something different, something I first suggested years ago when I started writing this blog (read that here).

Turn Rey Mysterio heel.

As I wrote when I first suggested this it's a move that would allow Rey to wrestle a slower, less demanding style. It would also give him something different to do and a fresh batch of opponents to work against. Obviously a heel turn would have to be negated before his retirement angle in order for him to get the send-off he deserves, but that could be achieved easily enough by having him lose a feud in autumn and disappear for a few months, ensuring he could return healthy in 2015 for a face switch and a final farewell run.

One thing's for sure: if Mysterio keeps up his current comings and goings much longer he's going to risk eroding the good memories many have of the bulk of his career, which would mean being remembered as another guy who outlived his welcome and use. Retiring in the next year preserves Rey's health and legacy. Frankly, it's the only sensible option.

Mr Retirement

March 28^th 2010. WrestleMania XXVI. Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker faced each other in a career versus Streak match. Michaels lost. He hasn't wrestled since.

This is an incredibly rare example of a wrestler honouring a retirement stipulation after losing. The norm is for the retirement stip to be used as a way of writing people off of television to undergo operations or to take a break. It’s also not unknown for retirement angles to be tacked on to lengthy feuds to heighten drama and tension with no intention of either party genuinely retiring. See Mick Foley, Ric Flair, Terry Funk and some of the ludicrous stipulations implemented by Vince Russo in WCW for all the examples you could need on wrestlers and retirement.

While he's managed to adhere to the terms of his loss to 'The Dead Man' Michaels hasn't disappeared completely. He's come and gone from television over the last three and a half years. For the most part he's made one off appearances but that changed a couple of months ago when he was made the guest referee of Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton's WWE championship Hell in a Cell match (at the imaginatively titled Hell in a Cell). Before the show Michaels had stated he'd be fair and call the match impartially. On the night that was proven to be a lie when he super kicked Bryan, billed as his protégé¹, and allowed 'The Viper' to leave as champion.

The Slammy Award-winning Shawn Michaels

It wasn’t an immediate heel turn for Michaels. He received a mixed reaction on the following evening's RAW, which saw him trapped in the Yes Lock by an angry Bryan (a moment which showed that retirement hasn’t diminished his ability to make you believe he’s in pain one bit). Since then the mixed reactions have continued and he's stuck with playing a character of blurred alignment as opposed to an out and out heel. He'll support lead bad guy Triple H but act in a relatively humble manner when accepting a (prestigious) Slammy. It's the logical way to play it. Not being on the active roster means he has to be presented differently. It’s a reflection of his standing within the company.

He’s also found himself at odds with CM Punk. During the excellent show-closing segment of the pre-TLC RAW Punk manhandled ‘The Game’ and got Sweet Chin Music for his trouble. Michaels in turn was floored with Bryan’s running knee strike. The following week Michaels confronted Punk to tell him that he should be worrying about him, not Tripper. They didn’t come to blows, but Punk did say that if he was kicked by HBK again he’d be kicking him back.

So as 2013 draws to a close Shawn Michaels has established disputes with two of WWE’s most popular wrestlers. It feels very much like a Michaels match against one or both of the former indy stalwarts is being teased.

But teasing and promoting are two different things. I don’t think Michaels will return to the ring for an official match. I’m sure he’d be physically able to, his appearances over the last couple of months have made it clear that he can still throw his finishing move and is just as good at drawing fans in as he ever was (and he was among the best). I just don’t think he’d want to. One thing motivated Michaels throughout his entire career, and that was being seen as the best. It manifested in different ways, the nineties saw him playing some cutthroat political games to ensure the spotlight was always on him, while from his return in 2002 until his retirement eight years later he was more about putting on the best match of the night no matter who he was facing. The latter was a far more admirable approach but it had the same motivation. Michaels wanted to outperform everybody else².

When he retired Michaels was the best. He was WWE’s top in-ring performer. His last match was the best match of the biggest show of the year and it went on last. There is no finer send-off a wrestler could receive than that, and Michaels would know that. I can’t imagine that he’d come back to have another match and run the risk of it not being quite as good as the masterpiece of a last stand he had with The Undertaker. Even a very good match would be a comedown from what is currently his last outing. Not that he’d have a less than satisfying match. I just don’t think he’d want to run that risk. Seconding Triple H in his matches opposite Punk and Bryan (and I think ‘The Cerebral Assassin’ will be going up against both men next year) seems more likely.

This isn’t to say WWE wouldn’t try to tempt the guy. Michaels versus Punk and Michaels versus Bryan are both fresh matches and would be a great addition to the WrestleMania XXX card. Almost as appealing would be the “dream match” (that’s definitely how they’d promote it) pitting CM Punk and Shawn Michaels against D-Generation X. It’s not the sort of thing that would be added to ‘Mania but it would certainly be a boon to Royal Rumble or Elimination Chamber. Planned right WWE could probably find a way to stretch the current disputes out to include Michaels matches at SummerSlam 2014 and WrestleMania XXXI.

I’d love to see another Michaels match. He’s one of the best wrestlers ever and his involvement would benefit WrestleMania XXX in ways that nobody else’s would. That said I’m equally happy not seeing him wrestle again. He went out on top after having one of the most amazing careers the business has ever seen. There are loads of highlights we can look back on. Nothing new is needed.

***

¹ I feel I should clarify this. When Michaels had his four year lay off from 1998 to 2002 (due to what was originally believed to be a career ending back injury) he handpicked a small number of young guys to teach at a wrestling school in Texas. Bryan ‘Daniel Bryan’ Danielson was one of the guys there. How much Bryan learnt from Michaels is impossible to say without speaking to either man (which I haven’t done, obviously) but we can take a guess from the amount of time Bryan stayed there (less than a year) that it wouldn’t have been that much.

Daniel Bryan made a point of travelling all over the world to learn how to be a professional wrestler. His style is not especially influenced by ‘The Heartbreak Kid’, it’s more in line with Japanese wrestling and technical mat wrestling. Bryan’s been much more heavily influenced by KENTA, whom he faced many times before signing with WWE, and William Regal, whom he trained with while under his first WWF developmental contract in the first few years of the millennium. The reason he wears maroon trunks is as a tribute to Regal. No broken heart emblems there!

All of this said I can completely understand why WWE presents the Bryan and Michaels relationship in this fashion. Being the former student of Hall of Famer and ‘Mr WrestleMania’ Shawn Michaels does more for Bryan’s standing with the average fan than an open admission of the same relationship with an NXT commentator would.

² There is absolutely nothing wrong with this attitude. More wrestlers should attempt to have the match of the night more often. It would contribute significantly to making the output of many wrestling companies more enjoyable.

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 7

That Wrestling Podcast Episode 7 by Dave Hatton on Mixcloud

I thought now would be a good time to do an episode on John Cena. His injury keeping him off of television meant that whatever was said was going to remain relatively current and relevant for a while. On a practical level it felt like we’d recorded enough episodes to tackle a slightly meatier topic than potential wrestling sitcoms or whether Kofi Kingston could ever be WWE champion.

So that’s what this episode is about. John Cena. We discuss everything we could reasonably be expected to:  the man’s limited ring style; whether or not he warrants his position; the popularity of his merchandise; when he’ll return; when he’ll return and what he’ll do when he does; and what he has left to accomplish in the promotion. Other topics get covered, but it’s mostly Cena.

Retiring the Mask

Rey Mysterio's been injured, on and off, for over two years now. It's reached the point where his credibility as a reliable main event performer is almost completely eroded and his long term health is in jeopardy. He's generally okay when he turns up but no long term plans can be made for him because the chances are that he won't be around to see them through. I’d like to advocate retirement for him.

The latest on his knees, which are said to be the cause of his erratic schedule, is that they'll be healthy enough to allow 'Mr 619' to compete at SummerSlam. This is by no means a certainty. He was originally going to be back in the ring by June.

I'd like to advocate holding off his return for beyond ‘The Hottest Event of the Summer’. If the last few years have taught us anything it's that rushing back from an injury does Mysterio no favours. It has no impact on ratings either, so it’s not even as if something’s gained from the rush. It would be best for Mysterio if he spent the rest of the year resting. That would allow him time to return to full health and give WWE a chance to prepare a storyline for when he comes back.

 

Mysterio there, invoking the Riddler

 

It's the return plan I'm interested in. I think WWE and Mysterio should be thinking of his next return as his last, hence the reason that he should be as healthy as possible to avoid any injury-related complications. All parties should want to give Mysterio the send-off he deserves.

The obvious time to do this would be next year’s WrestleMania. Adding a Mysterio retirement match to a card that’s already likely to feature big names like Brock Lesnar, Undertaker, Cena, Punk, and The Rock, would help to make ‘Mania XXX one to remember.

They could even do a longer wait and have Mysterio go out at next year’s SummerSlam. With a bit of effort WWE could turn SummerSlam back into their second biggest annual show, the WrestleMania of the summer.

Obviously things like fanfests can help with that but the best way to make SummerSlam mean something would be to hoard big names for the show. They seem to be doing that with CM Punk v Brock Lesnar this year. But the top three or four matches need to be big if SummerSlam’s to do truly impressive numbers. Again a Mysterio retirement stip could help with that.

The ideal way to reintroduce Rey would be through a series of vignettes in which he discusses the reasons for his time away, his passion for wrestling and his desire to come back and show that he can still be as good as people remember. He could talk about having one more run and cementing his spot as one of the greatest wrestlers ever.

Reveal a return date for Rey and show a new vignette every week. The should ensure people are aware of his return. From there the company should know roughly how long they’re going to have access to Mysterio for before he retires and draw up a list of all the opponents they want him to face in important matches.

The biggest matches should be saved for pay-per-view. Everything else could be a heavily promoted TV match. Yeah, I still think WWE could improve their ratings by advertising matches. I’m crazy like that.

Mysterio has been an important member of the WWE roster for a long time now. He’s won world titles and had some memorable and very enjoyable matches. The guy deserves a send-off befitting what he’s accomplished in and for WWE.