The Cosmic Rivalry

So the current hot gossip is that John Cena is about to take time off to film some sort of fitness reality show. This puts his fifth and current reign as United States champion in jeopardy. Because time off while still being champ would go against established characteristics and, more to the point, the last several months of enjoyable Open Challenges.

Say goodbye (for now) to that belt, John.

I've no idea how WWE will write Cena out of storylines. It seems likely that we'll find out at Hell in a Cell this evening or on tomorrow's edition of RAW. The typical WWE approach would be for a heel to defeat Cena via shenanigans and then go on a tear while he's away before dropping the belt back to him upon his return.

I think Cena's departure could be better than that. It's a chance to give someone a boost and use the Open Challenge for what it was always designed for: giving someone lower down the card a rub. My pick would be Stardust.

In Stardust WWE has an incredible villain. Not only is he different to everyone other heel on the roster but he works in part because of the PG environment. His panto villain-slash-Adam West Batman adversary shtick is perfect for WWE's current product and in casting himself as a mad, scheming supervillain Stardust is the perfect foil for the archetypal true blue WWE babyface. And they don't come any truer or bluer than Cena.

That he has henchmen is a help. And henchmen is the ideal term for Konnor and Viktor because it invokes the 60s Batman vibe that Stardust plays to. Outnumbering Cena is a big deal as it provides an easy way for Stardust to get the win and the championship without Cena being made to look weak (Cena, like Roman Reigns, must be kept strong). And the group is something that can be fleshed out.

Stardust and his money-loving lead henchman.

Bad News King Wade Barrett I, despite having had a falling out with 'The Prince of Dark Matter', would make an excellent lead goon. Yeah, he's probably talented enough to warrant an upper mid-card spot on his own merits but nobody in WWE seems interested in giving it to him. He and Stardust (under different monikers) used to have good chemistry as a double act on The JBL and Cole Show. It would be nice to see that revived for the main roster. I think Barrett would work well as a guy who's agreed to be Stardust's lackey just for money, deadpanning his way through backstage skits in which The Ascension clearly believe in Stardust's mental outer space chat. 'The Cosmic Centurion' has a nice ring to it.

I also think Paige would be a good addition to The Cosmic Wasteland. Yeah she's busy with the confusing disintegration of PCB and developing personal beef with Natalya right now but that won't last forever. Her character could do with a tweak or two to refresh it. Being put with The Cosmic Wasteland would fit with her recent slightly unhinged nature and also allow for an interesting switch-up. Less punk chick and more space valkyrie maybe.

These are additions that could be made while Cena was off doing his filming. Four people being stationed at ringside for rematches would help the feud stretch for a while, giving Cena something to do against a character well-suited to being his foe, boosting Stardust's standing, helping Paige stay fresh, and giving The Ascension and Barrett larger roles than they're likely to get doing anything else.

This is what I'd do. Let's see what WWE does.

The Fall of Man

The Ascension haven’t had an easy time of it since their promotion to the main roster on the December 29 RAW. It’s a bit of a surprise when you consider how well the clearly limited pair were handled in NXT and Triple H’s promise that people would only be moved from NXT to WWE when a spot was open for them. It’s disappointing because used correctly The Ascension could have been useful for the main roster.

The current Ascension team came together in June 2013 with Viktor (at that point still Rick Victor) replacing the artist now known as Bram¹ and then known as Kenneth Cameron, who’d been released in 2012. Konnor (at that point still trading under the name Conor O’Brian) had been working as a singles performer in the months since Cameron’s release. The partnership with Viktor signalled his return to the doubles ranks.

And yeah, that return was pretty successful. They won their first two matches against non-entity teams before losing an eight man tag match to a team that included Xavier Woods and CJ Parker, but they didn’t take the pinfall in that. In fact the only loss they suffered in their first year together was on an NXT live event to then-tag champions Adrian Neville and Corey Graves.

They were protected with short matches that allowed them to appear ferocious and explosive, and they beat everybody. From unimpressive jobber pairings like Mac Miles and Steve Cutler to more formidable units like Sami Zayn and Tyson Kidd, The Vaudevillains, Too Cool and The Legionnaires², everyone who stepped into the ring with The Ascension wound up putting them over, usually via their Fall of Man double team finisher.

It was a simple, effective approach that got the pair over because it was designed to make them look good by playing to their strengths. Even when they eventually lost the tag team titles to the Lucha Dragons they were protected, the match being presented as the Dragons getting lucky with their timing as much as anything else.

The face paint didn't help...

The Ascension’s first month on the main roster undid all of that hard work. They were ridiculed by JBL, booked to compare themselves to tag teams from the 80s and 90s, easily dispatched by the nWo, the New Age Outlaws and the APA, and had a competitive match in their pay-per-view debut. Nothing about the approach seemed designed to make fans think of these newcomers as anything special.

Had it ended with JBL having some digs at them things would have been fine. That could have been ignored or a segment could have been booked in which the APA reunited to get trounced by the younger guys, putting them over in the process. What we actually got seemed designed to let us know that The Ascension aren’t as good as the Road Warriors, Demolition, or the APA, and they can only just about take care of the Outlaws.

Imagine how different things would have been if Konnor and Viktor had spent their first weeks beating jobber teams inside two minutes before being confronted by Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Sean Waltman, the Outlaws and the APA (the youngest of that gaggle being Waltman at 42), and they'd taken out all of them. They would have looked unstoppable. They could have been pitted against the scant few teams WWE has over the course of two months before being booked to dethrone the Usos in a competitive match on the WrestleMania 31 pre-show. After months of easy victories seeing them in a competitive match would have made it clear the Usos are an above average team, keeping them strong in defeat.

Instead The Ascension were used to appease the egos of a bunch of guys who mean little to WWE’s current mass audience. What a waste.

***

¹ TNA were presumably influenced by Bram Stoker when selecting this name. Maybe the original intention was for Bram to be a vampire? That would be very TNA.

² Describing some of these teams as formidable may tickle some people but I think it’s an accurate statement. They had been presented as such in other matches on NXT. That’s what counts.

NXTweet 09.10.14

Around the halfway point of this episode I realised I was watching a below average NXT episode. There’s a tweet about it here. It has to happen sometimes. I can live with it. It remains WWE’s best weekly show by a significant margin. And that’s with Titus O’Neil in the main event!

Tyler Breeze v Mojo Rawley

Tweet 1: Let's Tweet some NX.

Tweet 2: Why has Breeze been dropped to the opening half of the show over the last month? Bad move, WWE.
Tweet 3: No, no, it's Mojo.
Tweet 4: Mojo looks like a Power Planet dude.


Tyler Breeze is not hyped for this treatment.

Tweet 5: How many times is Mojo going to get jobbed out before he gets put in a tag team with CJ Parker?
Tweet 6: They could be called The Guys The Audience Hates.

Enzo Amore, Big Cass, Carmella and William Regal at the Performance Centre

Tweet 7: Highlight of that Enzo and Cass video was two dudes chilling in a ring watching the filming.

Recap of the problems (or, if you prefer, the ongoing crisis) between Hideo Itami and The Ascension

Tweet 8: "Let's look now at the ongoing crisis between Hideo Itami and The Ascension." Ongoing crisis? Lolwut?

Tweet 9: Funaki's pep talk though...

Viktor v Hideo Itami

Tweet 10: They must be building up to Itami v Konor O'Konorson.

Tweet 11: "This man is the biggest star in Japan today" - Tensai McTensai on Hideo Itami
Tweet 12: Itami is not the biggest star in Japan. For one thing he's not even in Japan. Get your act together, Tensai.
Tweet 13: Why are the commentary team drawing attention to how quiet the crowd is? It's not a good thing.
Tweet 14: The audience just want to see Itami kick Viktor for a few minutes then pin him. Viktor offence is not required. But it's happening.

More of this next time, yeah?

Tweet 15: Konor roughing up Funaki? Is that the best they've got for the introductory storyline of KENTA?
Tweet 16: I mean, I'm all for Funaki being on TV but it's not helping Itami at all.
Tweet 17: Itami would look like a beast if he quickly beat Viktor one week and Konor the next, and fended the pair off every time they attacked him.
Tweet 18: "Look at Funaki, his tie's all over the place!" - Rich Brennan

The Vaudevillains v Enzo Amore and Big Cass

Tweet 19: #Vaudevillainspop

Tweet 20: This new music is more awful than it was last week.
Tweet 21: Big Cass referencing Hey, Arnold! there. Highlight of the show so far.
Tweet 22: I enjoyed that match but it didn't really last long enough. They could have been great with ten minutes.

That's a wrap, folks.

Becky Lynch v Sasha Banks

Tweet 23: Surprisingly enthusiastic response for Becky Lynch there.

Tweet 24: I've come to terms with this episode being below average. It has to happen sometimes.
Tweet 25: Lynch needs to go all Chris Daniels and get some flared tights.
Tweet 26: Is there a reason for all these kick outs at one?

Becky's tights are not good.

Tweet 27: That backstabber into a crossface is still beautiful.
Tweet 28: Sasha's good. She should be on in matches more often.

Titus O’Neil v Sami Zayn

Tweet 29: If Titus was coming into NXT as a new face he'd make a great monster. His history, and the Bunny feud, means it can't work now.

Tweet 30: I think Titus has a picture of himself on his trunks.
Tweet 31: Jason Albert saying he was in a match against Titus once. I bet that was a classic.
Tweet 32: "Are you okay?!" - Some woman in the crowd to Sami Zayn after he'd been chucked out of the ring
Tweet 33: Rich Brennan calling a bear hug a bear hold there.
Tweet 34: Titus is wearing a friendship bangle.

Kung Fu Titus.

Tweet 35: I wouldn't be surprised if this were Titus's longest match this year.
Tweet 36: Well there we are. Titus O'Neil defeated Sami Zayn. That'll send the crowd home happy.
Tweet 37: Why did nobody mention that Titus won with Clash of the Titus? It's a great name.
Tweet 38: Neville saved Zayn from a Titus top rope attack. I bet he was planning a 450.

The Debutants' Ball 2014

So Adam Rose, Paige and Bo Dallas are leaving NXT behind and joining the WWE main roster. With three performers being called up at the same time, as well as Alexander Rusev finally starting to wrestle on the main roster following months of hanging about looking fearsome, there’s a nice swathe of fresh talent for viewers to enjoy. We’re unlikely to see anyone else promoted for a while. But that doesn’t mean we can’t speculate on the next performers who’ll graduate from the developmental system.

Top of the list of potential call-ups for many will be Adrian Neville. Not only is he one of the most dazzling aerial wrestlers working anywhere in the world, with a nice line in crisp kicks and basic wrestling exchanges when he’s not in the air, but he’s also the NXT champion. This is significant. The previous three holders of that title (Seth Rollins, Big E and Bo Dallas) have all been called to the main roster either while they held the belt or shortly after they dropped it.

NXT champions haven’t been the only people graduating from the training system in the last few years but the prize has been built up to be something that indicates its holder is amongst the top candidates to move up the ranks at any given time. The likelihood is that ‘The Man That Gravity Forgot’ will follow in their footsteps and grace RAW with his presence sooner than later. He could, if used well, become a big hit on the main stage. His ability to string together sequences of flying moves is jaw-dropping.

Another man towards the top of any list drawn up is Sami Zayn. Since debuting on the May 22 2013 episode of NXT Zayn has become one of the most popular performers on the show and has been consistently depicted as one of its biggest stars. He has frequently entered sparkling performances and has worked lengthy, well-received programmes with Bo Dallas (for the NXT championship) and Antonio Cesaro. The latter in particular stood out as a highlight not just of NXT but of the entirety of WWE programming, an impressive feat when you consider the calibre of the current WWE roster and the matches the company presented last year.

He slaps hands! What a likeable fella!

I think Zayn’s great. He can wrestle a variety of styles against opponents of all sizes and make his performances believable. Like Neville his aerial moves stand out as being particularly worthy of praise: always on target and crisply performed. His verbal skills are good (surprising when you consider how much of his career he spent avoiding talking) and he’s created a likeable, everyman character that people genuinely want to see succeed.

The way in which he’s been used in NXT, and his ability in general, makes me think that WWE recognises he could be a top star. As such I expect his debut on the main roster to be tied to a long term plan, something that will give him the chance to make an immediate impression and avoid treading water after a few weeks. With WWE currently having just set up a bundle of plots that could go on for some time I would be surprised if we saw Zayn moved up before the autumn. Which is a good thing. As one of the most promising names they have in NXT he should be held back as a big deal.

A man I think could be called up before then is Tyler Breeze. As much as I like and enjoy his act I don’t think a Zoolander-inspired male model gimmick has quite the same long term potential that Sami Zayn (or others on this list) does. I think when ‘Prince Pretty’ does get called up he’ll be working as a mid-card guy with no plans for him to go higher.

Since the call-up-heavy April 7 RAW Breeze has tweeted that SmackDown may need some gorgeous. I wouldn’t be surprised to see him called up to the ol’ blue brand some time in the next few months. The Friday show can afford to be a little more experimental with the wrestlers used because it’s not as high a priority as RAW. In fact making a name for himself there would probably be ‘The Gorgeous One’s’ best route to Monday nights. Not that he appear on both, of course, but I think an unofficial exclusive period on SmackDown would help to phase his introduction and work out the kinks in his gimmick interacting with the rest of the roster.

Pretty much the same can be said for Mojo Rawley. Although I wish that wasn’t the case. I’ve not enjoyed the hyped shtick so far, and nothing about Rawley makes me think that’s going to change. But he’s popular within NXT and could easily be transferred to the main roster to work in a mid-card spot for a while.

Something he has over Tyler Breeze is that he’s pretty big. That means WWE are more inclined to push him, because of the age old belief that size matters in wrestling (and to an extent it does). A heel turn for a man his size would be beneficial because there are plenty of smaller men for him to knock around these days, although I don’t think that will come any time soon. It would have more impact after years of knowing of Rawley as one of the good guys.

Dapper gentleman.

Corey Graves is someone I think we should be expecting on the main roster within the next year. He has the look, verbal skills and wrestling ability to make it to the top of WWE. That he’s currently involved in a feud with Sami Zayn indicates that the decision makers at NXT value him as one of their top guys and see him as someone who can be relied on to deliver exhilarating matches and promos that draw people in. I think that’s an accurate assessment of Graves and see him as the one of the most likely guys in NXT to succeed, along with Neville and Zayn.

On the Divas side of things I think Sasha Banks is almost a dead cert to be the next woman promoted. She’s currently showing that she can play an obnoxious it girl bully and has previously done good things as a likeable babyface. She has range, and she’s talented between the ropes. A Divas division featuring her, AJ Lee, Emma and Paige could see the women’s hit heights it’s not reached since the days of Trish Stratus, Victoria, Mickie James and Lita.

Over in the doubles ranks Enzo Amore and Colin Cassady would be a good addition to the main roster. There’s a certain strange charisma to Enzo’s muttering promos, and he has the look and promo skills to take him far (plus those leopard print tights). ‘Big’ Cass has the height. Each covers the other’s weakness nicely, Cassady making up for Enzo’s unimposing size and Enzo keeping Cassady covered with his verbals.

They could work very nicely in the tag team division. WWE doesn’t really do big man-little man combos anymore, so there’s a niche available for them. They have proven that they can build a rapport with fans having started out as bad guys but being turned face because they were so entertaining. While that’s mainly down to Enzo and his “realest guys in the room” chat Cass has brought the audience on side too.

With Enzo’s leg currently broken it doesn’t look like the pair will move up anytime soon. My guess would be that they’ll win the NXT tag titles before heading up to the main roster. I like their characters (particularly Enzo’s) but they are not the kind of act WWE seem desperate to get to the main stage.

Finally, I don’t feel I can write something like this without mentioning The Ascension. Thanks to call-ups and injuries they’ve been NXT’s only regular tag team for quite a while now. They’ve spent their time squashing random NXT undercarders and specially hired jobbers (such as TNA’s Eddie Edwards and Davey Richards). They’ve developed into a unit that seems intended to invoke hardcase units of the past such as The Road Warriors and The Eliminators. They even use a version of the latter team’s Total Elimination finish.

The Ascension are, in my view, certainties to get a call-up. The prioritisation of the tag team division rises and falls on a month by month basis, but even at its low ebbs it’s doing better than it was five years ago. For it to continue to be something that WWE shows an occasional interest in it will need fresh units at some point. As the only prepped pairing in NXT The Ascension will be first in line when WWE wants a new duo.

If nothing else they at least look like a unit.

Helping Konor and Viktor’s (the letter K is a heel letter) chances is their shedding of the fantasy trappings a few months ago. I liked their Game of Thrones-inspired entrance and act but I can’t imagine many viewers would have agreed with me. Unless WWE were going to embrace the fantasy aspects fully (which was never going to happen even though fantasy’s been pretty big in the TV drama world in recent years) it was best to drop them and concentrate on recasting the pair as bruisers. They’re easier to slot into the grander scheme that way.



There are also some NXT debuts for us to look forward to. The high-flying masked Kalisto (formerly Samuray del Sol) and suit-clad, iPad wielding hacker Solomon Crowe (formerly Sami Callihan) both made their first appearances at NXT live events last year but have yet to make it to TV. With Rose and Dallas likely about to become less of a presence on the NXT show there are spots available for both men.

I’ll be interested to see who’s next to progress from NXT. The system is becoming one that can be relied on to create characters that will slot into WWE programming, so it could be almost anyone based there. And that’s one of the most satisfying things about these progressions: seeing the tweaks that are made to fit these characters into the bigger picture of WWE and watching the guys and girls succeed.