The Cosmic Rivalry

So the current hot gossip is that John Cena is about to take time off to film some sort of fitness reality show. This puts his fifth and current reign as United States champion in jeopardy. Because time off while still being champ would go against established characteristics and, more to the point, the last several months of enjoyable Open Challenges.

Say goodbye (for now) to that belt, John.

I've no idea how WWE will write Cena out of storylines. It seems likely that we'll find out at Hell in a Cell this evening or on tomorrow's edition of RAW. The typical WWE approach would be for a heel to defeat Cena via shenanigans and then go on a tear while he's away before dropping the belt back to him upon his return.

I think Cena's departure could be better than that. It's a chance to give someone a boost and use the Open Challenge for what it was always designed for: giving someone lower down the card a rub. My pick would be Stardust.

In Stardust WWE has an incredible villain. Not only is he different to everyone other heel on the roster but he works in part because of the PG environment. His panto villain-slash-Adam West Batman adversary shtick is perfect for WWE's current product and in casting himself as a mad, scheming supervillain Stardust is the perfect foil for the archetypal true blue WWE babyface. And they don't come any truer or bluer than Cena.

That he has henchmen is a help. And henchmen is the ideal term for Konnor and Viktor because it invokes the 60s Batman vibe that Stardust plays to. Outnumbering Cena is a big deal as it provides an easy way for Stardust to get the win and the championship without Cena being made to look weak (Cena, like Roman Reigns, must be kept strong). And the group is something that can be fleshed out.

Stardust and his money-loving lead henchman.

Bad News King Wade Barrett I, despite having had a falling out with 'The Prince of Dark Matter', would make an excellent lead goon. Yeah, he's probably talented enough to warrant an upper mid-card spot on his own merits but nobody in WWE seems interested in giving it to him. He and Stardust (under different monikers) used to have good chemistry as a double act on The JBL and Cole Show. It would be nice to see that revived for the main roster. I think Barrett would work well as a guy who's agreed to be Stardust's lackey just for money, deadpanning his way through backstage skits in which The Ascension clearly believe in Stardust's mental outer space chat. 'The Cosmic Centurion' has a nice ring to it.

I also think Paige would be a good addition to The Cosmic Wasteland. Yeah she's busy with the confusing disintegration of PCB and developing personal beef with Natalya right now but that won't last forever. Her character could do with a tweak or two to refresh it. Being put with The Cosmic Wasteland would fit with her recent slightly unhinged nature and also allow for an interesting switch-up. Less punk chick and more space valkyrie maybe.

These are additions that could be made while Cena was off doing his filming. Four people being stationed at ringside for rematches would help the feud stretch for a while, giving Cena something to do against a character well-suited to being his foe, boosting Stardust's standing, helping Paige stay fresh, and giving The Ascension and Barrett larger roles than they're likely to get doing anything else.

This is what I'd do. Let's see what WWE does.

John Cena's Sweet Sixteen

Over the last year much has been made of the fact that John Cena's next world title win will tie him with Ric Flair's record of sixteen. Ever since he lost his fifteenth world championship at SummerSlam 2014 we've been hearing rumour through The Dirt Sheets™ that WWE wants to have Cena's next win and the reign it kicks off be big deals. We heard it mentioned on-screen leading up to SummerSlam this year, Cena's first title shot since January's Royal Rumble, with him specifically name-dropping Flair and announcing that he wants to reach that milestone.

This makes sense. With only one man having been as prolific as Cena when it comes to winning world titles it's entirely understandable that WWE would want to focus on that journey as a story. Cena equalling a record tally is a logical, understandable plot for wrestling because it focuses on wins and losses and the importance of titles. It's also something that has never really been done before in wrestling, at least not in the exact circumstance of someone tying Flair.

The thing is that Cena's world title win won't see him equal Flair's actual record. It will see him equal the WWE approved record, the one that discounts a number of 'Naitch's' early NWA world championship victories. For what it's worth Flair is said to privately consider himself something like a twenty-one time world champ. Not that Flair's private feelings or the legitimate number of title reigns he's had actually matters. What matters is that Flair is known as a sixteen time world champion and Cena's next win will see tie this.

The once and future champ.

When it comes (and it will come) Cena's next WWE championship reign needs to be something memorable¹. Running through standard issue title defences against Rollins, Kane and Orton won't cut it if WWE wants to do the story they're going for justice. What is the story they're going (or will be going) for? That in winning sixteen world championships Cena, who is frequently lambasted as a poor wrestler with little understanding of selling and ring psychology, is every bit as good as Ric Flair, who is frequently held up as the greatest professional wrestler ever.

A long title reign will be needed to do this story justice and for a long title reign WWE will need plenty of challengers. Right now there are very few people who could believably defeat Cena on pay-per-view. The number who could defeat him for a world title is even smaller, especially such an importantly numbered title. And if a long Cena title reign is to work in 2015 or beyond then the audience should be able to feel that Cena could lose in any defence, adding to the drama of each match, therefore heightening reactions and making the achievement of each successful retention seem greater.

Had one of Cena's allegedly star-making feuds against Bray Wyatt, Rusev or Kevin Owens gone differently over the last eighteen months things could be different. Had Cena left any one of those feuds without getting a victory then the opponent in question would be perfectly positioned as a title challenger for 'Big Match John' come his next world title reign. They could have been presented as the only man of the last decade Cena had failed to defeat and a favourite in a title match against him. Basically, Cena losing more in these programmes would have made a victory for him at a later point a bigger deal.

Rusev in particular could have been great in this role. Had WWE thought enough about it 'The Bulgarian Brute' could have been built up as Cena's gateway to a sixteenth world title. Had Rusev dropped Cena on three or four straight pay-per-views he would have been established as a juggernaut and a natural contender to the WWE world title. He could have won that from Rollins, either in a singles match (in the right city Rollins could have played the face) or a three-way including someone like Ambrose, Lesnar or Reigns to give people a face to get behind, and gone on to have a few months as a dominant world champion. Cena could have gone on his undercard quest to find himself (the Open Challenge thing could have worked as Cena testing himself instead of as a US title reign) before challenging Rusev to a world title match and beating him. This would have seen Cena finally getting the victory that had eluded him, ending Rusev's undefeated streak, and equalling the sixteen title reigns record in one match.

But, sadly, nobody in WWE seems to think that far ahead.

The good news is that Cena's next world title win is unlikely to roll around until next year.  Roman Reigns seems like the natural choice to take the belt from current champ Seth Rollins, likely at WrestleMania 32 Star in Texas next April. It's unlikely Reigns' inaugural world title run would last less than four months, which would take him through to SummerSlam, a fitting stage for Cena's big win. Next August gives WWE plenty of time to rebuild Rusev, Owens and Wyatt, along with preparing other acts like Cesaro, Stardust and Ryback, giving Cena the stacked roster he needs to make his sixteenth world title reign the success it deserves to be.

***

¹ The irony here is that Flair's final WCW world title reigns were massively underwhelming. The fifteenth world title reign of Ric Flair began on an episode of Nitro and lasted seven days, ending when he was stripped of the belt by Vince Russo. Jeff Jarrett then won the title later on the same show and lost it the following evening to Kevin Nash at a Thunder taping. 'Big Sexy' then handed the title back to Flair on the following Nitro², with Flair going on to lose the title back to Jarrett later on in the show.

Yes, that means Flair's famed sixteenth world title reign began with Kevin Nash handing him the belt and lasted less than two hours. Woooooo!

NXTweet 02.09.15

The most interesting thing about this week's NXT was not the beginning of the Dusty Rhodes Tag Classic or the returns from The Ascension and Adrian Neville that it facilitated. It was a backstage segment in which William Regal was shown talking to Johnny Gargano and Tommaso Ciampa before being interrupted by Tyler Breeze. Seemingly minor at first glance this scene could actually have been a hint at the new direction for WWE's feeder system-slash-satellite indy fed.

Gargano and Ciampa broke the rule that's been established regarding performer's using non-rademarked names. Yeah, Samoa Joe stayed Samoa Joe after his debut but he's a far bigger deal than either 'Johnny Wrestling' or 'The Sicilian Psychopath'. For two guys who are nothing more than very talented indy wrestlers to retain their own names on WWE screens hints at a new approach from the company, one that doesn't see guys immediately rebranded but instead makes use of what meagre (in comparison to WWE's established talents) name value performers may have.

For outsiders to be brought in to play a part in the DRTTC is a significant step too. It's another indication that WWE is loosening up. The pair are unlikely to win the tournament but the fact that they're facing the odd couple team of Tyler Breeze and Bull Dempsey makes it pretty clear they'll be getting at least one win. This scene would be rendered pointless were they to lose their opening match. William Regal acknowledging that the pair are veterans of the independent circuit (as opposed to men who have competed "around the world") is a bold and interesting new way of debuting guys.

It's also worth noting that the responses for the matches involving The Ascension and Neville is proof that if guys are just allowed to wrestle and be themselves more they can connect with crowds better. That in turn allows them to become more over, which makes everyone more money (the aim of the wrestling game, obvs). Nev's made headway on the main roster but Konnor and Viktor have floundered badly. Had they been afforded the opportunities to act more as they did here when they debuted on RAW at the start of the year they'd have better spots than lackeys for Stardust.

Intro

Tweet 1: Watching NXT now. Be aware.

Tweet 2: Tonight: the Dusty Rhodes Tag Classic, if you will.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic: The Ascension v Rhyno and Baron Corbin

Tweet 3: Graves talking about the return of The Ascension being a great way to start the show. I'm just thinking about how they're Cody's henchmen.

Throw in Stardust and you've got an excellent King of Trios team in The Ascension.

Tweet 4: Ascension v Barry Corbin and Rhyno. Hoss extravaganza. Although that's being pretty generous to Barry.
Tweet 5: Assuming The Ascension lose to give Barry a win over meaningful names (in NXT).
Tweet 6: Rich Brennan saying Viktor's bounced back. #accidentalPartridge
Tweet 7: Not at all surprised by that result because I called it. I am surprised Rhyno got the pin on Konnor though.
Tweet 8: Barry over Viktor was the way to go.

Solomon Crowe and Adrian Neville talk to Devin Taylor

Tweet 9: 'I'll always owe Dusty an eternal gratitude' - 'The Man That Grammar Forgot' Adrian Neville

Tweet 10: Solomon Crowe seems a bit too eager. Calling a much-needed heel turn for Solly.

Blue Pants v Alexa Bliss

Tweet 11: I miss Alexa Bliss's glamour fairy music. Bliss as a heel makes up for it though.

Tweet 12: When did Alexa join the Hart Foundation?

Knees-first moonsault here. Ouch.

Tweet 13: Alexa stealing Bret Hart's colours? 4/10
Tweet 14: Alexa has mastered turning botched moves into regular parts of her repertoire.

William Regal, Johnny Gargano, Tommaso Ciampa and Tyler Breeze backstage

Tweet 15: O rly?

Tweet 16: Looks like Ciampa's fresh off the set of that Kray brothers film.
Tweet 17: Breeze and Bull Dempsey versus Gargano and Ciampa. They should've paired him with Miz.
Tweet 18: 'Look into the camera and say Breeze' - Tyler Breeze

Emma reminds everyone that she's pretty good

Tweet 19: Emma rightfully pointing out that she and Paige really got the NXT women's division underway. Great stuff.

Tweet 20: That was needed considering she's an anchor for the division now.

Apollo Crews v Martin Stone

Tweet 21: Oh look, it's former RPW tag champion Martin Stone taking on Apollo Crews. I don't like Stone's chances...

Too easy, bruv.

Tweet 22: These ratty jeans on Stone though. Dear lord.
Tweet 23: I remember being at Stone's first RPW show post-release. He cut a promo about being under-utilised and that. Look at him now.
Tweet 24: My point? Did the I was under-utilised act for a cheap pop. Not knocking him. Just observin'.
Tweet 25: Apollo won btw.

Chad Gable and Jason Jordan talk to Devin Taylor

Tweet 26: I'm a big fan of Chad Gable. He could go far in WWE. Don't want this amazing tag team rushed though.

Finn Bálor talks to Devin Taylor before Samoa Joe wanders up

Tweet 27: Oh yeah, Finn Bálor's the champion and sometimes appears on this show.

Tweet 28: He's hyping house show defences and a sports entertainment renaissance. My word...
Tweet 29: So Joe versus Finn then, yeah? I'm down.

Eva Marie v Billie Kay

Tweet 30: Billie Kay got the 'already in the ring' treatment. She's defs winning!

Tweet 31: Astounded to hear an Eva Marie chant.
Tweet 32: Lol at Eva not even bothering to sell a kick to the face and instead lying down looking blank waiting to get back on the attack.

Well done, Eva. That was textbook.

Tweet 33: Eva Marie has somehow become the NXT women's division's answer to Big Match John.
Tweet 34: Just realised we've been spared Bad News Byron. I approve.
Tweet 35: Well... that was a match that happened.
Tweet 36: Joe and Bálor v Lucha Dragons has the potential to be very, very good. That's a hot take right there.

Dusty Rhodes Tag Team Classic: Adrian Neville and Solomon Crowe v Chad Gable and Jason Jordan

Tweet 37: Big Nev's main roster entrance is what's got him these cheers. That and the absence of a first name.

Tweet 38: Tremendous fluidity between Neville, Gable and Jordan. This is liquid wrestling! #deliberatePartridge
Tweet 39: Jordan's taken his straps down. Shit's about to get real.
Tweet 40: Rich Brennan is a very good play-by-play guy. Easy to overlook. He mixes the usual WWE style with actually calling matches.

A finish worthy of Haas and Benjamin.

Tweet 41: So Crowe tagged in and got pinned. Graves mentioned him being a glory hog. He wasn't: Nev was out of it. Makes sense as a concept though.
Tweet 42: Good show, everyone. Good hustle.

WWE SummerSlam 2015 review

Traditionally SummerSlam has been positioned by WWE as their number two pay-per-view. It's not felt like it for a long time though. The importance of the Royal Rumble has helped that show surpass it. It could be argued that Money in the Bank has done the same. This year WWE awarded SummerSlam a four hour run time, attached an NXT Takeover special to the weekend, and did even more media work than usual all to turn SummerSlam into a big deal. It's a smart move. If the profile of the event can be raised there's a chance it can claw back some of its importance and, in turn, become a more profitable brand. Because brands are what WWE is all about in 2015.

Awkward bants.

The show kicked off with Lillian Garcia introducing former Daily Show front man Jon Stewart as the evening's host. He got the "What?" treatment from the crowd before changing up his cadence and quipping that he'd "spent the last sixteen years talking about politics, it's nice to be back in reality." Then he played into the shouts by listing guys. This, to me, proved that he really is a fan of the company.

Mick Foley (who looks a mess) was then introduced to act as backup for an interview with Brock Lesnar. They did some awkward non-lol comedy and teased that The Rock might join them. He didn't, and wouldn't appear on the show at all. They left. The crowd seemed happy with all of this.

Then, presented by Mountain Dew and Edge shave gel, SummerSlam began.

Randy Orton v Sheamus was up first. I've made my feelings about these two abundantly clear before. 'The Viper' is so dull as a character that it's impossible to be interested in anything involving him. I'm not wild about Shaymo either, so that didn't help. The match wasn't anything special. The crowd agreed. They spent a stretch of it amusing themselves with NXT related chants. Sheamus survived a top rope draping DDT and an RKO to win with two Brogue kicks in a row.

The lads.

Things picked up with match two, the four-way tag team championship match pitting defending champs the Prime Time Players against New Day, the Lucha Dragons and Los Matadores. Before the match New Day took some microphones to say that New York knew nothing about hip hop. Then they did some singing. It was great. None of the other entrances could compare.

The match was enjoyable and competently performed. Aside from several minutes of Kofi and Big E double teaming Darren Young it kept a quick pace and gave everyone except Los Matadores (who don't seem to actually matter to anyone in WWE) moments to shine. The Lucha Dragons got to work some slick doubles spots, including a monkey flip into a 450 form Sin Cara to Kalisto. New Day got to be irritating heels. D-Young got to be babyface in peril and Titus got to look like a beast when he received a hot tag and ploughed through everyone.

The finish saw the Luchas double suplex Fernando, with Titus power bombing them as they did so. Titus went for a cover but Kofi had made a blind tag and ran in to kick him in the face. Big E pulled Titus from the ring as Kofi covered Fernando to earn his team the tag straps for the second time. Which was the right result. With so many face teams on the roster, and the Usos getting closer to a comeback, New Day are the logical choice to sit atop the division. It doesn't hurt that they're the most over thing in it either.

Backstage Jon Stewart told Adrian Neville and Stephen Amell that he was pals with Undertaker. Then some spooky lighting was turned on (or off) and 'Taker strolled by, followed by dry ice. I'm sure somebody, somewhere found this hilarious.

Dolph Ziggler v Rusev was the next match. Lana was dressed in denim to match 'The Show Off' and looked faintly ridiculous. Despite liking everyone involved in this match I found myself not enjoying as much as I'd expected to. There were a few too many rest holds and lengthy selling spots while the various big bump spots felt uninspired. It never felt as though they'd brought the match up to full speed, surprising with Ziggler involved. That said I did like Ziggler's top rope X Factor and Rusev's tumbling senton.

The match ended in a draw. Rusev had the match won with the Accolade but released it when Lana slapped Summer Rae to the ground. Rusev then dragged Ziggler out of the ring and again got distracted by Lana, allowing Ziggler to sneak in a super kick. Neither man got back to the ring before the ten count. This finish, and the spirited post-match scuffle in which Lana and Summer did some nasty-looking hair-pulling, were presumably designed to set up a mixed tag match.

Stephen Amell, taking it like a champ.

The Neville and Amell v Stardust and King Barrett match was preceded by a fun recap video done in a style that was reminiscent of both comic book movie trailers in general and the Batman 60's TV show. It was great. As was the entrance of the Cosmic Kings. The match itself was also good, giving us exactly what we needed from it: Stardust going full-on supervillain, Amell holding his own, Neville playing the stand-up babyface, and Cosmic King Wade Bad News Barrett I acting like a creep who just wanted to win a match on pay-per-view. Stardust was the undeniable star. Based on his performance here he deserves a guest role on Arrow.

Amell was isolated for a while towards the beginning of the bout. Neville was eventually tagged in to hit some fancy flips to heat the audience back up. Surprisingly he also got the pin for his team, pinning Barrett off a Red Arrow. I'd expected Stardust to lie down for Amell. It felt like the natural finish but this was better. It was sensible to have one regular pin another.

After a self-congratulatory puff piece about how much WWE "gives back to the community" we got the triple threat match for the Intercontinental championship. Big Show v Miz v Ryback. Not the match we want but the match we deserve. It's possible that the highlight of the match was Ryback's singlet, which featured the Statue of Liberty with his face on the front and "Ryback Kong" scaling the Empire State Building on the back.

The story was that 'The Awesome One' wanted to leave the fighting to 'back and Show and pick up a win by sneaking in when both were exhausted. Which made sense for his character and the way WWE three-ways are usually booked. The match was good. Big Show put in some rarely seen effort by busting out a second rope somersault senton (yes, really). Ryback demonstrated his #incrediblepower by hitting Show with a spinebuster and Shellshock. Miz was great trying to steal wins on both guys and getting frustrated when he couldn't.

The finish could have been better though. Ryback took a KO punch as he hoisted Miz up for Shellshock. Miz broke up the following pin attempt and tried for one himself. Show swatted him off and hit him with the WMD punch. Before 'The World's Largest Athlete' could get the pin Ryback threw him out of the ring and covered 'The A-Lister' to retain. They didn't outstay their welcome and made good use of their time but I was surprised Ryback was booked to look so opportunistic. Pinning Miz instead of the more physically imposing Show did no favours to a guy's whose deal is meant to be power.

Backstage Jon Stewart knocked on Brock Lesnar's door. Paul Heyman answered. They discussed Lesnar ending The Streak and how it was a bad thing. It ended with Heyman singing and asking if Letterman was busy. Comedy is not WWE's strength.

Just a bunch of lads appreciating one another's vests.

One of the hottest feuds of the last few years was officially revived in match six. Former Shield boys Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns reunited to take on the Wyatt Family of Luke Harper and Bray Wyatt.  This was, as it was always going to be, one of the best matches of the night. They stuck to the old Shield v Wyatts formula of making liberal use of signature moves, suicide dives and double teams to ensure there was always something to hold the fans' attention.

Reigns got taken out of the match after the opening brawl, leaving Ambrose to survive alone for several minutes. Reigns would eventually return to the corner just in time to receive a tag from 'The Lunatic Fringe'. The Shield lads hit a Doomsday Device and the assisted power bomb before Reigns put 'The Eater of Worlds' down with a spear. Despite being surprisingly short at just eleven minutes the match was, as stated above, one of the best of the night. I'd have no problem with the feud continuing and us getting a rematch at Night of Champions.

Speaking of champions, the title versus title match was up after that. It was preceded by a great video package that began with Cena talking about the people of New York being everyday heroes (presumably a token effort at winning the crowd over) before moving onto Rollins breaking Cena's nose and the all-time tally of world title reigns Cena has. At fifteen he's one off Ric Flair's (official) record of sixteen. They made sure to include Cena's words to Triple H on the subject of Flair being his mentor, which really helped to emphasise the title versus title stuff and the importance and significance of Cena's sixteenth world title win, whether it was to come here or not.

The initial lockup was a stalemate. Cena got the best of the second with a headlock takedown. Rollins fought back to his feet, floored Cena with a drop kick, and mocked his "You can't see me" bit. That earned him a punch to the face and another headlock.

Good guys wear white.

Rollins fought back to his feet and hit Cena with a Blockbuster before knocking him out of the ring for a pair of suicide dives and a tope. Back in the ring Rollins reversed a back drop and took Cena down with a sling blade for a two count. Cena fired back with a belly-to-back suplex and prepared for a Five Knuckle Shuffle but Rollins kicked him in the head and went for a Pedigree. Cena back dropped out of it and nailed the springboard Stunner before getting the Shuffle he'd missed moments earlier.

Rollins slipped out of an early attempt at the AA onto the top rope then launched himself knees first into Cena. He followed that with a running Shooting Star Press for a two count. He kept control by hanging Cena in a tree of woe and blasting him with a double stomp from the top rope. 'The Future' trash-talked Cena and was grabbed for a desperation AA. He kicked out and made it back to his feet for a boo-yay punch exchange. Another Pedigree attempt failed, this time with Rollins ending up taking a face plant from Cena's shoulders.

Cena got his never less than dangerous-looking top rope leg drop as Rollins staggered to his feet. That earned him a two count. They mostly botched a second rope AA counter but Rollins just about held things together for a sunset buckle bomb. He followed that with a nice frog splash but Cena kicked out and hoisted the WWE champ into position for the Attitude Adjustment. Rollins landed on his feet, hit an enziguri and rolled through a cross body to hit Cena with an AA of his own.

When Cena kicked out Rollins went to his backup option of a phoenix splash. Cena avoided that and grabbed 'The Future' for the STF. Rollins was barely in the hold before Cena released it to reapply, at which point Rollins kicked him away. Cena recovered and attempted an AA. Rollins wriggled free and tried a Pedigree. Cena broke free of that and slapped on a figure four, nicely tying into the back-story of Cena trying to equal Flair's world title reign record.

Rollins managed to flip over onto his front, reversing the pressure and forcing Cena to make the ropes and break the hold (because it's Cena, of course he does both). Cena returned to the top rope but got cut off and superplexed, with Rollins performing a surprise roll-through into a falcon arrow. Cena kicked out but remained spent on the mat. Rollins tried the phoenix splash again but missed and got scooped up for an AA. Cena hit it, but not before a ref bump took place.

After checking on the referee (whadda guy!) Cena turned around and took a knee strike t the face, the same move that had broken his nose on RAW. At that point Jon Stewart ran down to the ring with a chair and, after several awkward pauses, tapped it into Cena's stomach. A recovered Rollins then Pedigreed Cena onto the chair to retain the WWE championship and win his first ever United States championship.

Screwy swerve turn finish involving a non-contracted former political pundit aside this was the match of the night. Rollins and Cena work well together and they once again showed it here. The finish was made far easier to stomach because I'd been expecting some sort of DQ that prevented either title changing hand. The change presents some interesting options for Night of Champions. Rollins making two separate defences could be interesting and something I'd like to see.

Booker T and Byron Saxton were irate at Stewart's action over at the analyst table. Corey Graves no-sold the finish and focused on the "history making" result. Booker put over New Day and did some clapping as Renee threw to the Divas trios three-way.

After a recap video that reminded us of Stephanie McMahon taking credit for Paige's on-screen quest for a better division we got a match that was somewhat of a mixed bag. There were a handful of sloppy moments but the most awkward aspect of the match was a booking decision: the match was fought under elimination rules and saw Team BAD out first, eliminated after Brie had pinned Tamina. This showed no foresight. Had Team Bella been the first team eliminated, at the hands of the team that wouldn't ultimately win, that would have demonstrated that the newcomers on both opposing teams are every bit as good as the more established women. It would have left the fresher faces to battle amongst themselves and set up all members of both teams as potential contenders to Nikki Bellas Divas title. A later half carried by Sasha Banks and the newer girls on the PCB team could have been great.

A lot of people have picked holes in this entire Divas revolution thing. For the most part I feel it's been a little unfair. I understand the grievances people have with it but I feel it's best to focus on the fact that WWE are at least trying to go in the right direction. But booking like this, that hampers the progression of the newcomers in favour of positioning the Bellas as formidable forces, is irritating and does nothing for anyone. Not even the Bellas benefited because Nikki now has fewer credible potential title challengers than she could have had.

There was a lot wrong here but the result was entirely correct.

It wasn't all bad. The Bellas hit a nice stereo suicide dive and Nikki did a nice Alabama slam on the outside. The audience were invested in Sasha Banks, despite her not getting a great deal to do. Alicia Fox broke out her beautiful northern lights suplex. And the right team won, Becky getting the win with what can generously be called a pump handle slam. Although even this didn't seen entirely sensible. Someone (Charlotte would likely have been the best choice, all things considered) should have pinned Nikki to set them up as an obvious challenger.

Cesaro v Kevin Owens took the semi-main event slot. The reactions they got for their entrances and during the match disproves the theory that WWE fans need a cool down period before a pay-per-view main event. Both guys entered performances that made it clear they had something to prove. Each guy hit a tope to the outside. Cesaro busted out a cross body from the top rope, a gut wrench suplex from the second, and a springboard uppercut. Owens pulled out a cannonball on the outside, an inverted TKO, a somersault leg drop, and the double jump moonsault. They worked, in the words of Steve Austin, snug. KO won an enjoyable match with a top rope fishermanbuster and the pop-up power bomb.

Which left only the Undertaker v Brock Lesnar main event. The pre-match video focused on the ending of The Streak, with a variety of wrestlers appearing as talking heads to give their opinion on the subject. I'm not going to go into the history of the match here. I did that in the preview, which you can read at this link. Suffice it to say I liked the way WWE built to this rematch.

This match set a brisk pace from the start. Lesnar jumped Undertaker as he entered the ring. 'Taker fought back and knocked 'The Beast' out of the ring and to the floor. Lesnar paced about a bit before returning and taking 'The Dead Man' down to the mat to hit him with forearms. The two then returned to their feet to trade right hands as duelling chants of "Undertaker!" and "Suplex City!" rang through the arena.

'Taker got the better of the punch exchange and set up to walk the ropes with Old School but got pulled into an F5 position. He escaped and went for a choke slam. Brock escaped that. And then the suplexes started.

Undertaker took a belly-to-belly and a German suplex before managing to drive 'The Pain' head-first into a turnbuckle. He followed up with snake eyes and a big boot which sent Lesnar tumbling out of the ring. There 'The Phenom' rushed his foe into the barricades before setting him up for the apron leg drop.

Brock recovered. They traded jabs. Undi' went for a choke slam. Lesnar slipped out of it in mid-air and hit a German suplex. Then another. And another. Undertaker rolled from the ring as the duelling chants started back up. Lesnar followed and cleared the French announce table (because nothing says an event is on the scale of WrestleMania like foreign language commentary teams being flown in). 'Taker recovered and tried to Last Ride Lesnar through the table but Lesnar broke free and F5ed him through instead.

Taker returned to the ring just before the ten count expired. Lesnar looked mildly shocked before telling Undertaker he'd kill him. Undertaker again told Lesnar he'd have to then hit him with a surprise choke slam and a Tombstone.

Lesnar kicked out and was the first to sit up. Undertaker was seconds behind him and they traded right hands as they returned to their feet. Lesnar locked in a kimura in the corner, which 'The Last Outlaw' countered into a Last Ride for a two count.

If only 'Taker had tapped when Robinson was there.

Lesnar hit an F5. Undertaker kicked out. Lesnar hit another. Undertaker kicked out again then trapped Lesnar in Hell's Gate. Lesnar powered out and applied the kimura. Then the shenanigans kicked in. Undertaker tapped out as the referee was in position checking to see if Lesnar's shoulders were down for a pin and the bell rang. The ref told the timekeeper it was his job to signal for the bell to ring. Undertaker took this opportunity to hit a low blow and got Lesnar back in the Hell's Gate. Officially the match ended with Lesnar flipping off the Undertaker as he faded into unconsciousness.

After the match Heyman took a mic and said that everyone had seen 'Taker tap out. He then declared Lesnar the winner via submission. The commentators bickered about the finish for a little longer before the show finally went off the air.

This was a finish designed to keep both men strong and, possibly, to set up a rematch. Based on this I've no interest in a third bout in the series. Neither man was helped by this ending. The match and the paying audience deserved a clear winner. Either Undertaker should have won for vengeance and to show he still has it ahead of his retirement or Lesnar should have won to keep his aura intact and so as not to invalidate The Streak ending. Personally I'd have preferred a Lesnar win. That would have kept him strong and allowed for an a story in which an Undertaker plagued by self doubt boldly announced he'll retire if he can't win at WrestleMania. They could even had had 'Taker enter the Royal Rumble and winning to show that he's still as good as ever.

Overall I thought SummerSlam was perfectly fine. It was not the show it needed to be though. There were too many poor booking choices, odd run times, and matches that simply didn't have enough reason to be happening to justify this being a four hour, ten match card. The main event and the title versus title match, the things the event was built around, both failed to deliver entirely satisfying endings and for that alone it's hard to see this SummerSlam as anything more than a good but flawed time.

***

Results summary:

Sheamus defeated Randy Orton
New Day defeated the Prime Time Players, Los Matadores and the Lucha Dragons to win the tag team championship
Doph Ziggler v Rusev ended in a count out draw
Stephen Amell and Adrian Neville defeated Stardust and Bad News Barrett
Ryback defeated The Miz and Big Show to retain the Intercontinental championship
Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose defeated Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper
Seth Rollins defeated John Cena to retain the WWE championship and win the United States championship
Paige, Charlotte and Becky Lynch defeated Team BAD and Team Bella
Kevin Owens defeated Cesaro
The Undertaker defeated Brock Lesnar via referee stoppage

WWE King of the Ring 2015 review

As part of an effort to load up the Network with original programming for a week the decision was made to resurrect the King of the Ring tournament. The reasoning behind creating a "packed" week on the Network was that it would encourage those experiencing a free trial to sign up as full members. Whether or not a live Chris Jericho podcast with Stephanie McMahon and a Mick Foley comedy special are enough to get that done I don't know, but I suspect they are not.

I also suspect that King of the Ring, done in the style it was, was not a subscriptions winner either. The announcement that what was once a fairly prestigious tournament was made on Sunday night. By Tuesday evening the tournament had concluded. This brevity goes a long way towards explaining what was wrong with the approach. What could comfortably have provided the Network with original programming for a month was crammed into two nights, only one of which benefited the Network.

Had the longer course been taken the tournament would have seemed more prestigious and the accomplishment of winning would have seemed greater. More could have been made of the tourney's history and status as a career launcher. That status is admittedly spectacularly hit-and-miss (for every Steve Austin there's a Mabel) but the less impressive winners could have been downplayed or flat out ignored.

Delaying the opening bracket until Tuesday, instead of racing everything through, would have created time for guys to go out on RAW and discuss their desire to be entered into the tournament and win it. The course actually taken left no time for this, which contributed to the overall rushed feel of the thing.

Finally, there were the entrants. For the most part the choices were fine. Ambrose, Ziggler, Sheamus, Harper and Barrett were all perfectly logical additions. Stardust was a mild surprise, given the writing team's disinterest in him since WrestleMania. Neville, the man who sold his first name for a shot on the main roster, was an obvious addition too. As a newcomer he benefited from being put n the same level as other names involved in the tournament.

The only actively bad entrant was R-Truth. The man is on the same level as the likes of Curtis Axel and Heath Slater, losing almost all of his matches and sticking around on the roster as a featured good guy jobber. There's nothing wrong with a guy having this position (someone needs to fill it) but entering such a guy into an eight man tournament is stupid. It dilutes the meaning of the tournament if someone who loses all the time gets entered and it denies younger, more popular guys an opportunity for more screen time. Damien Sandow, Ryback, Cearo, Tyson Kidd, Kalisto, or any member of New Day would have been a better choice than Truth. In fact, the entire thing could probably have been fleshed out to include sixteen men without any difficulty (although that would have necessitated the longer approach WWE seemed to want to avoid).

Two former Dragon Gate lads getting some King of the Ring action.

Three of the four opening round matches on RAW were enjoyable. Ambrose and Sheamus showed that they work well opposite one another. A series between them wouldn't be the worst thing WWE could do. Ziggler v Barrett was good but a tad on the basic side, perhaps due to the fact that the pair have worked with one another before and failed to give us anything new here. Stardust v R-Truth was bad. It was always going to be but it was made worse by 'The Suntan Superman' winning. Neville versus Harper was a truly great match. Although it was disappointing to see Harper lose again he wasn't weakened by the loss because the match was so competitive. And, y'know, wins and losses mean little in WWE anyway.

The King of the Ring show opened with a video package highlighting past kings. In order, we saw Austin, Triple H, Lesnar, Randy Savage, Booker T, Harley Race, Bret Hart, Edge, and Sheamus. This was a solid acknowledgement to the tourney's history but far more could have been done with more time. Jerry Lawler was introduced to cut a promo explaining how a tournament works (yes, really) and cue up a recap of the four matches the night before. It was filler material as much as anything.

Backstage Sheamus cut a promo designed to show that he was looking past Adrian Neville to the finals. It was basic but it did its job. Elsewhere in the building Nev told Renee Young that he intended win the tournament. He was mostly pretty humble about the achievements he'd made in his month on the main roster. It's a shame that he's not allowed to show the arrogant streak he had in NXT but nuance isn't a thing that guys are allowed on the main roster. He did get to reference NXT though, which was something.

Even though they didn't deviate much form the standard TV formula they produced a good match. 'Great White' knocked Neville about. Neville kept coming back for more because he's plucky. Eventually Dolph Ziggler came out and brought up footage of him beating Shaymo at Extreme Rules. This threw Sheamus off, causing him to miss a Brogue kick which allowed Neville to hit him with a roundhouse and the Red Arrow for the victory. The finish was cheap but that's not a surprise. WWE wanted to have Sheamus lose but they weren't prepared to have Neville beat him clean.

After the match Ziggler rushed the ring and attacked Sheamus. They had a bit of a scuffle before being separated by referees. This was all the evidence needed to show that King of the Ring was just a veil to book the usual stuff around.

Backstage again Bad News Barrett said R-Truth should be more worried about him than spiders. This was in response to Truth saying that if he became King he'd banish spiders from WWE. Barrett ended up saying he'd win. But he wouldn't say anything else, would he? The spider talk was quite possibly the reason Truth got added to the tournament. It's the sort of humour Vince loves. You only needed to watch Truth's promo with Saxton to see that. He spent the entire time talking about his dislike of spiders, instead of putting over his opponent or the tournament he was involved in.

The Truth versus Barrett match was better than I'd expected. But then I hadn't expected much so that's not saying a great deal. Bad News got the most predictable win of the tournament with the Bullhammer elbow.

Backstage one again Renee asked Dolph about his accidental assist to Sheamus on RAW (he attacked Sheamus, giving him a win by disqualification). 'The Show Off' called Sheamus a bully and made it clear he was keen on getting another match with him. Barrett and Neville were also interviewed again. They both predicted victories. That was about it.

The King of the Ring finals pitted two Englishmen against each other in a rematch from the Extreme Rules pre-show. That was yet another blow to the tournament's shaky standing: neither man was important enough to appear on the most recent pay-per-view. In fairness having the finals be a rematch of a recent meeting did add something. We knew that Neville could beat Barrett if things went right for him, which made the match seem more predictable than it likely would have been otherwise.

King Bad News I.

But this was not Extreme Rules. It was Barrett's brutality against Neville's speed and well-placed kicks, and the brutality won out. The story of the match was that Neville's inexperience relative to Barrett and the pasting he'd taken form Sheamus combined to create an insurmountable struggle for him. He had a handful of hopes spots and got in some nice moves, including a lovely top rope Asai moonsault and a deadlift German suplex, but ultimately Neville fell to the Bullhammer after missing the Red Arrow. While the match wasn't bad it could have been a lot better, a fitting end to a rushed King of the Ring.

Although I've knocked this King of the Ring a fair bit there were things to enjoy. Barrett winning, for example, is not the worst thing in the world and while none of the matches were all-time classics the match quality was of a high standard. Having Neville advance to the finals was good too, and he wasn't made to look like a pushover in his final defeat. The King of the Ring format is one that could really work well on the Network. I'd like to see it brought back again next year. If it's given more attention and the winner is given a sustained push (somehow I don't think that's going to be the case for King Bad News) it could be turned into the launching pad it was at times in the nineties.

The Divisional Approach

At WrestleMania the one thing I didn't want to happen, happened. And it happened twice.

Daniel Bryan won the Intercontinental championship in the show-opening seven man ladder match. Later in the night John Cena won his first United States championship in over ten years when he defeated Foreign Menace™ Rusev. Both men are former multi-time world champions. For various reasons (see here for more) I think having these traditionally secondary titles is bad for Cena, Bryan and the titles themselves.

AMERICA!!

For Bryan a reign as the IC champ has made him look like a guy who knows he couldn't cut it competing against guys like Roman Reigns (whom he lost to clean at Fast Lane) and Brock Lesnar. Going after the white belt was a safer and easier option. Meanwhile the US title looks like a trinket Cena picked up because he happened to be feuding with the guy who held it, not because he wanted to win it. Cena was motivated more by national pride and showing a Russian how great America is than by winning a championship. It also looks like something he's doing to kill time before he decides he wants the world title back. That time will come and it will be a big story within WWE because it will see Cena trying to equal the much-hyped sixteen world titles record set and held by Ric Flair.

On the same night that Bryan and Cena won their belts Seth Rollins won the WWE world championship. The only title he'd held before that (on the main roster) was the tag team title alongside Roman Reigns. Instead of Seth spending years ploughing through the ranks and winning a secondary title or two to mark himself as a rising star his first singles title was the WWE championship. This makes the world championship look like it's on the same level as the mid-card titles. Which is possibly what WWE intended, but instead of the secondary titles being elevated by this the status of the world heavyweight title has been decreased. This isn't t say Rollins isn;t a worthy champions (he is), but his victory would have meant more if he'd spent time with mid-card singles belts that meant something first.

There's hope left though. WWE could, if they wanted, position the three championships as three separate divisions. Cena and the US title could head up an unofficial hoss-slash-big lad division consisting of guys like Rusev, Big E, Cesaro, Luke Harper and Ryback. D-Bry could be the standard bearer for an indy guys-slash-nippy fellas Intercontinental division of guys like Dolph Ziggler, Dean Ambrose, Stardust and Kalisto. The WWE championship could remain the alleged top prize, something the best on the roster won, with guys filtering in and out of competition for it and challenging for the other titles in the meantime.

I wouldn't go so far as to advocate them actually announcing these divisions (that would be a turn off to a lot of people) but if they just did it I think most people would follow along and understand what was happening. Personally I'd rather they took this approach and never had any former world champs regressing to other titles (except for obvious duds like The Miz, Big Show and Sheamus) but if they're going to present all of their singles titles as more or less equal they might as well do something interesting with it.

Shining Star

When Cody Rhodes transformed into Stardust last summer I thought it was a massive step backwards. It was a knock-off of the near enough two decade old Goldust character and a gimmick it was impossible to envisage WWE taking seriously. In other words it was exactly the sort of thing that was going to keep Cody tethered to the mid-card. He wasn't exactly on the cusp of main events before the change but he was even further away after it.

Cody made the best of a bad situation. Which is hardly surprising as the Stardust character was apparently his idea to begin with. He changed up his entrance and in-ring mannerisms, going out of his way to try and establish Stardust as a distinct entity. Even more impressively he switched up his move set, something WWE performers are generally not encouraged to do. These changes helped to establish Stardust and make the change easier to accept.

What a good-looking man.

It's only recently that the Stardust character has begun paying off for Rhodes and the writing team. It's been revealed that the change was part of a long term plan to play into the split of the Rhodes-cum-Dust brothers tandem. Stardust announced at Fast Lane that Cody is "dead", killed by his deadweight brother and unsupportive father. In a nice touch he referenced various stages of his career (being 'The Prince' and 'The Dashing One', being an Intercontinental champ, and being touted as the breakout star of The Legacy) and his former status as a hot prospect within WWE. As character development goes it was certainly attention grabbing.

Since the two (half) brothers officially split on the February 16 RAW further tweaks have been made to the Stardust character. He's been shown to be violent and unstable both in matches and backstage segments and moved from wearing a Goldust-esque bodysuit to full length tights (possibly because he wants to have those abs of his on display).

It seems likely that another Goldust versus Stardust is where this is all heading, although Stardust's recent interest in the Intercontinental title means it's unlikely to happen at WrestleMania. How that will play out is anybody's guess. The rumours that Goldy is ready to retire are as widespread as they've ever been so it seems reasonable to assume we'll see Goldust versus Stardust with a retirement stipulation for the former on the line. Given Stardust's recent sentiments we could see him challenge Goldust to face him with this stip and Goldust, wanting his brother back, agreeing on the proviso that if he can win the match the Stardust gimmick gets dropped.

That scenario would almost certainly play out with Goldust losing. It could be used to launch a big singles push for the Stardust character, unrepentant at having fractured his family and caused the retirement of his brother. Played right it could get him over big as a heel. Alternatively Stardust could win the match and, following a moment of clarity brought on by seeing how dejected 'The Bizarre One' was at the loss, ask for and receive reconciliation. That would allow Goldust to go out in the match he's apparently wanted for years and lead back to the reintroduction of the babyface Cody Rhodes character.

Knowing WWE we'll get a watered down version of one of these options. The Stardust saga so far has already been a departure from the writing team's usual unwillingness to commit to anything original, interesting, or forward thinking. It's too much to expect the story to reach its conclusion without the usual WWE disappointment seeping in.

WWE Fast Lane 2015 review

Thanks to the booking of its titular match Royal Rumble was not a good pay-per-view. TLC before it was worse. Outside of its main event Survivor Series had nothing to offer. You have to go back to October's Hell in a Cell to find a WWE pay-per-view with more than one match to offer. You have go all the way back to SummerSlam to find a WWE main roster show that was definitely above average. Fast Lane was the company's latest opportunity to change that.

They didn't. With Fast Lane WWE constructed a particularly drab show. Outside of the top two matches and a confrontation between part-timers there was little on offer. Writing was rushed so that matches had an excuse to happen and popular performers were thrust into slots on the show just to have them there. Outside of those top three attractions very little thought was put into Fast Lane, and it showed.

A below average video package started the show. Shots of speedometers and cars going fast were interspersed with shots of John Cena, Rusev, Bryan, Reigns, Triple H and Sting as a woman gave dictionary definitions of various journey-related words. It felt like the graphics from an Over the Limit show had been recycled with some relevant match footage. It was unusual, considering WWE's record with this sort of thing.

Dolph Ziggler's music and entrance got a huge pop from the crowd. That made me think they'd be a rowdy bunch who'd get into the show. I would be proved wrong again and again and again throughout the night. It wasn't the lack of reaction for Erick Rowan that tipped me off though. That was to be expected. Ryback did slightly better but he's not as over as he once was. He did get a "Feed me more!" chant going in the ring though.

Ziggler and Seth Rollins started the match with a good sequence. Things got worse once Dolph tagged out to Rowan. They got worse still when Rollins tagged out to Kane. Rowan was isolated and the match chugged along until Ryback tagged in for the first time. He had a surprisingly popular exchange with Rollins which ended with Rollins taking a Shellshock only for 'The Big Guy' to be immediately splashed by Show, stopping him from going for a cover.

Ziggler tagged back in to loud cheers and was almost immediately made to look like a complete loser as he was outsmarted by the big lads. Kane held him for a Big Show KO punch. That was enough to put Ziggler down for three. The move itself isn't the problem: it's a move that's been built up nicely. But it was still depressing that it was Ziggler, rather than the disposable Rowan, who was booked to take the loss for his team. For that matter it was depressing that outside of their opening tussle Rollins and Ziggler didn't really interact. They could have saved this match and turned it into a hot opener had they been allowed.  

He hit RKOs... outta nowhere!

After the match the heels ganged up on the faces as the audience chanted for Randy Orton (which again made me think they'd be reliable for the entire show). They weren't disappointed. 'The Viper's' music hit the speakers and he ran (yes, Orton actually ran) to the ring. In his trunks, natch. J&J and Kane all took RKOs. Rollins tried to sneak into the ring and lamp Orton with his Money in the Bank briefcase but got caught with a kick. Orton signalled for the draping DDT but Show yanked Rollins to safety. 'The Future' then ran off through the crowd as Orty posed in the ring. 

After a video recapping the truncated breakdown of the Goldust and Stardust team Goldust was shown backstage with Dusty Rhodes. Goldy said he wasn't facing Cody, he was facing Stardust and that he needed to beat him so badly that the thought of putting on face paint and a costume again would sicken him. They did a good job making the match mean something but it was a little misleading.

The exchange made it seem that we'd be getting a wild fight between the brothers. They had a perfectly good match but it didn't really feel like the brawl the promo, or the nature of their feud, had told us it would be. It was more about counter wrestling than fighting. The crowd's lack of interest didn't help matters. Goldust won off a roll-up after reversing out of the Director's Cut. Goldy offered a handshake after the match. Stardust just walked off.

After a lengthy recap of the "feud" between Seth Rollins and Jon Stewart, which was designed to "prove" that WWE is relevant to mainstream personalities just as much as it was to play into anything that may happen between the two we were treated to a Rhodes family meeting backstage. Goldust apologised to Dusty, even though all he'd done was wrestle Stardust, before Stardust showed up to attack him. Then he shouted that about being the breakout star of the dynasty lumbered with an albatross of a brother and informed Dusty that he was responsible for the death of Cody. It could go somewhere really interesting but knowing WWE it probably won't.

The Usos versus the Brass Ring Club came next. They would provide the show with its second best match. Jimmy was worked over for the first third of the match with Cesaro and Kidd targeting his leg. This included an impressive one legged big swing from Cesaro. He would tag out after managing to send Kidd to the outside of the ring, kicking off a pacey sequence between all four.

The Brass Ring Club would perform a nice double team with Cesaro deadlifting Jey from the apron for a second rope suplex and Kidd following up with a springboard elbow. There was a frenetic exchange on the apron of the hard camera side of the ring which culminated with Jimmy blocking a Kidd kick and pulling him down, catching him on his shoulders and Samoan dropping him into the barricade.

"Hey, look how shiny my belt is, Tyson!"

Back in the ring Jimmy splashed Kidd but was immediately rolled up for a two count. He kicked out but found himself trapped in a Sharpshooter moments later. Jey broke that up and then got huled out of the ring by Cesaro. Jimmy super kicked 'The Swiss Superman' off the apron and then turned around into a fisherman's neck breaker from Kidd. That was enough to get the win and titles for the Brass Ring Club. The crowd were particularly annoying here. The four guys deserved a lot bbetter for the performance they put on.

Before the Sting and Triple H face-to-face confrontation that followed Michael Cole said it had been the "fantasy" of every "sports entertainment fan" to see Sting in a WWE ring. This is not true. I know many people who agree with me that  'The Stinger' holds little to no appeal, especially fourteen years after WCW went out of business. In fairness they can't really acknowledge any disinterest even if they'd be willing to admit it's there. And there are people who, for some reason, do want to see Sting wrestle for WWE.

King of Kings hit and Triple H walked out. Because he was doing wrestler business, as opposed to Authority-running-the-show business, 'The Game' was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. The only thing missing was his Attitude Era backwards leather paddy cap. After apologising for pushing down Ric Flair on RAW and referring to himself as 'The Heartbeat of WWE' (that'll be on a T-shirt soon) he called out Sting.

When he answered 'The Game's' call Sting got cheers but not as many as you'd expect. Yes, even the mighty Sting could not make the audience emote. Although one guy tried his hardest to get a(n awkward) "WCW!" chant going. Trips talked about how his legacy was ending Sting's legacy and suggested that Sting's motivation at Survivor Series had been to take the McMahons out of WWE because he knew that would put an end to the company. That second point was especially nice. It was true to the a Triple H character's ego but was also a plausible reason for 'The Vigilante's' actions.

Tripper tried to seduce Sting with action figures and DVDs and a Hall of Fame induction. When Sting didn't react Trips said they could fight and Sting would be erased from history. That should be a gimmick in WWE: someone who beats people so hard they are erased from history.

When it became clear Sting wasn't going to be bought off Triple H tried to cheap shot him. Sting fought him off until 'The Cerebral Assassin' smacked him with a microphone then lugged his sledgehammer from beneath the ring. When he returned to cave in Sting's head it was revealed Sting had brought his trusty baseball bat. He backed Trips into a corner, forced him to drop the hammer, and then pointed at the WrestleMania sign a few times. When he went to leave H3 tried to attack him again. He was hit with the bat and given a Scorpion Death Drop. As he left the commentary team marked out for Sting like it was 1997.

Obligatory Nikki Bella pic.

Following a recap of Heyman saying Lesnar would beat whoever's put against him at WrestleMania we got Paige challenging Nikki Bella for the Divas championship. By WWE Divas standards it was a very good effort. Nikki put on a crisp performance and Paige was as good as she usually is. Nikki would retain with a roll-up and a Handful of Tights™. The champ's facial expressions weren't all they could have been but they weren't awful. If WWE invested more time into other female characters Nikki could make a good lead heel for the division.

Then... breaking news! Triple H had accepted Sting's challenge for a match at WrestleMania! The commentary gang again marked out. Lawler went so far as to say he never thought he'd see the match happen. That conjured up a nice image of Lawler sitting at home pining for a Triple H and Sting match, shaking his head wistfully and telling himself it would never happen.

Dean Ambrose and Bad News Barrett's Intercontinental championship match was next. Despite the large number of signature moves between the two the crowd once again failed to get excited for the majority of the match. It was another case of Ambrose and Bad News deserving more. They put on a solid match although they were lumbered with a poor finish. Ambrose was disqualified as he  stomped Barrett in the corner. Then he gave him Dirty Deeds and left with the title belt. It was saddening that this was put out on pay-per-view. It was a TV ending, and a shoddy one at that.

The number of glances at the WrestleMania sign on this show was ridiculous.

The audience did show interest when a flock of druids walked out, accompanied by some blue lighting, a gong, and The Undertaker's music. When a casket was wheeled down to the ring it was obvious we were supposed to believe 'Taker would be inside. He was not. It was Bray Wyatt. He told us he'd once feared Undertaker but that he doesn't anymore because 'The Dead Man' has become mortal. Then he challenged him to a match at WrestleMania. It was an effective use of Wyatt and a nice bit of variety for the show. Seeing Wyatt steal more Undertaker tropes in the build towards WrestleMania would be great. It would be something different and allow WWE to make use of the character's twenty-five year history.

Rusev v Cena took the semi-main event spot. Rusev's entrance got a fair bit of heat. Cena brought the crowd to their feet with his, and even though he would be facing one of the most heelish characters in WWE (for daring to be from somewhere that isn't America) there were still audible cries of "John Cena sucks!" during his sprint to the ring and the usual duelling chants at the beginning of the match. From this point on the audience would be noticeably louder.

Cena smacked Rusev with a right hand seconds into the match and slapped on a headlock. 'The Bulgarian Brute' fought out of that quickly and controlled the pace for the next several minutes. Cena tried fighting back multiple times but was continually shut down. Eventually he managed to give Rusev a suplex and a clothesline. Rusev kicked out on two, slipped out of an AA attempt and DDTed Cena. Then he went back to wearing his foe down.

Cena fired up again a minute or two later, cracking off some shoulder tackles and the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He tried the AAagain. Rusev escaped again. Seconds later he would escape the STF, only to be floored with a fallaway slam. Rusev attempted a standing sidewalk slam only to find it countered into a crossface (which Cole referred to as an STF). Rusev sold for a few moments before breaking the hold, leaping to his feet, and hitting Cena with an Alabama slam. If he could hit the move that well consistently it should become a regular part of his repertoire.

Cena would kick out but he was too worn down to return to his feet. 'The Super Athlete' dropped some elbows on Cena's back before going for the Accolade. Cena grabbed Rusev's foot and pulled him down to the mat and into the STF. Rusev would escape the hold, this time by grabbing the ropes as opposed to his Russian Power.

The rematch will be for Rusev's gold star.

Back on their feet Rusev escaped the AA for a third time and gave Cena a couple of kicks. Cena would finally grab him and connect with the AA seconds later, Rusev kicking out just after the two count. Cena decided his best course of action was to jump off the top rope. That was a mistake (obviously). Rusev caught him in a power bomb and trapped him in the Accolade. After two failed attempts at breaking the hold Cena muscled his way to his feet with Rusev on his back. Lana distracted the referee as Rusev gave Cena a low blow. Cena was kicked in the face and put in the Accolade as Lana left the ring. The match would be ruled in Rusev's favour due to Cena being unconscious. It was announced as a submission win for some reason.

It was a better match than I'd expected. It had a better ending too. Rusev's win could have been far more tainted. Most important was the result. Cena lost just as he needed to. He may win a rematch, but it will be easier to stomach with Rusev having gained the first victory.

That left only the number one contender match between Daniel Bryan and Royal Rumble winner Roman Reigns. The first half of the match was dedicated to the story of Reigns' strength against Bryan's speed, experience and strikes. There were several moments designed to make it clear that Reigns was keeping up with his more experienced foe though, most of them seeing him escape from submission holds and cutting off signature moves. They traded the advantage back and forth throughout the match, keeping viewers guessing as to the result by not having one man gain a clear advantage. It was a good call, and it ensured neither man looked weak too.

The final five minutes were where the bout really came together. Bryan turned a Reigns spear into small package. Reigns kicked out and got hit with Bryan's running knee, which he kicked out of. Michael Cole was incredibly quick to point out that Reigns was the first wrestler to ever kick out of that move.

Reigns is big on "shocked eyes" selling.

D-Bry leathered Reigns with kicks. Reigns grabbed hold of his leg and got to his feet. Bryan slapped him and then pulled him down to the mat in the Yes Lock. Reigns broke out of the hold and pummelled Bryan with big fists to the sound of boos. When he made the mistake of pausing Bryan slapped on the Gogoplata. Reigns broke that by lifting him up and power bombing him.

After a quick breather they both sat up and exchanged strikes on as they lay on the mat, Bryan kicking and Reigns punching. 'The People's Elixir' would get the better of that and smash a dazed Reigns with a roundhouse kick. He went for the running knee again but Reigns surprised him with a spear as he charged in. That proved to be enough to put D-Bry down for three. A Superman punch would have looked far more impressive but WWE seem intent on having the pear be Reigns' thing.

After the match Bryan told Reigns he'd better kick Lesnar's ass before offering a handshake. Reigns nodded and accepted the shake. The show went off the air with the commentary team talking up the confirmed WrestleMania main event of Roman Reigns versus Brock Lesnar, the Sting v Triple H match, and Bray Wyatt's challenge to The Undertaker.

While Fast Lane accomplished everything it set out to with its top two matches and the Sting-Trips segment it failed too often elsewhere. All the matches had stories going into them and reasons for happening but the only one that didn't feel rushed was the one for the tag title match. The Rhodes brothers had only separated six days before the show. The stories for the Divas and IC matches were both basic. For a show to be worthwhile it not only need to make its main attractions worthwhile, it needs to have a solid undercard that plays out logically and has a reason to exist. Fast Lane had the reason but it was missing the logic. Let's hope this happened because WWE were fixated on their bigger, more important annual show next month, and not because the writing has dipped even further in quality.

***

Results summary:

Seth Rollins, Big Show and Kane defeated Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback
Goldust defeated Stardust
The Brass Ring Club defeated the Usos to win the tag team championship
Nikki Bella defeated Paige to retain the Divas championship
Bad News Barrett defeated Dean Ambrose via disqualification to retain the Intercontinental championship
Rusev defeated John Cena to retain the United States championship
Roman Reigns defeated Daniel Bryan to retain his WrestleMania title shot