Mid-Cardonomics

Part of the reason WWE programming is so uninspiring these days is because so few wrestlers are given things to do. The most recent rivalry to feature non-main event talent was between Hornswoggle and El Torito. Before that the last one I can remember was between Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow. While a feud between Sandow and Rhodes is no bad thing it took place in July and August of 2013. That nicely illustrates the distinct lack of frequency for mid-card feuds and the general lack of attention.

The trouble with concentrating exclusively (or as near to exclusively as makes no difference) on writing for the main event crew should be obvious. It means scenarios get recycled and become familiar, creating indifference in viewers. It also makes it needlessly difficult to elevate fresh acts, exacerbating the staleness problem.

Every Monday a three hour RAW airs but much of it can be skipped, too much of what takes place being inconsequential filler. The opening of the show, the close of the show, the first match, and whatever airs at the turn of each hour are the only things that are likely to matter long term. Even then the specifics are repetitive and uninspired.

Give this guy something to do. Please!

What’s frustrating is that things don’t have to be this way. WWE has more than enough guys on the main roster to be able to get a healthy mid-card scene going. Bad News Barrett, Sheamus, Dolph Ziggler, Damien Sandow, Cesaro, and Cody Rhodes all have significant enough followings and the required amount of wrestling ability and personality to draw people into storylines. That list omits tag teams the Uso brothers and The Wyatt Family, guys who are ready and waiting for their shot in NXT, guys like Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins who are not guaranteed permanent top spots quite yet, and the entire Divas division.

It’s not just the talented wrestlers WWE have access to, it’s the writing staff too. Over the years WWE as a company has proven capable of creating balanced television shows that give people the top stars they want while prepping new talent for the future. It also has a history of putting out satisfying storylines (and stinkers too, but that’s always going to happen). That the writing team has changed a lot in nature over the years doesn’t matter. Nor does the fact the people drop in and out, coming and going from the company and the creative process. The WWE product is always overseen by Vince McMahon, and has been for over thirty years. He has proven he knows how to oversee a quality wrestling show, including the prep-heavy periods of prosperity. It just seems that right now he’s not bothered about quality (or that he’s distracted by other things like his company losing money, although in truth that’s not a completely separate issue).

Even beyond the fact that they still have Vince overseeing them we’ve seen the current WWE system has capable people involved. I’m not talking about Paul Heyman or ‘Dirty’ Dutch, although the writing team could do worse than tap them for mid-card plot inspiration. I’m talking about the team of writers who put together NXT.

NXT is a different show to RAW, SmackDown and Main Event. It emphasises wrestling far more and isn’t as long. The talent of those involved in its writing are obvious. They ensure everyone on the show gets an introduction that explains what they’re about, has something to do when they appear, and gets the chance to connect with the audience. Storylines progress logically with a clear beginning, middle and end, and there’s a reason for things happening, including losses in matches.

The NXT approach is not something that could be copied and pasted onto RAW. They’re different shows that target and attract different audiences. But the approach to storyline construction would be a welcome addition to RAW. How about handing over writing duties of Dolph and the gang over to the NXT scribes? The current main roster writing crew would be freed up to make their sections better and the newcomers would be giving meaning to a bunch of talented but overlooked guys.

Even if that’s impossible for whatever reason surely something could be done about the uninspired undercard. I’ve watched wrestling for long enough to know that it doesn’t take that much to get a good mid-card scene going. Have Wrestler A and Wrestler B interfere in one another’s matches and trash talk one another for a month as Wrestler C and Wrestler D do the same for the Intercontinental championship. Have Wrestler A win his feud and make fun of Wrestler C for losing, setting them off in their own feud leaving Wrestlers B and D to do the same, maybe mixing in the birth of a plastic hand or a mysteriously vibrating gym bag or honour being regained by chopping off reproductive organs for good measure (because, y’know, that’s entertainment!). Then wrap up with the final combination before introducing Wrestler E and possibly even Wrestler F for some fresh combos and new stars. Is having a meaningful Intercontinental championship match on a pay-per-view really too much to ask?

Give mid-card wrestlers things to do, basically. The whole point of the above alphabet string would be to create matches that have meaning, giving people a reason to root for certain wrestlers and against others. It would help create anticipation for future matches too. And as much as WWE may not want to admit it it’s the lure of a hot match that elevates a show from run-of-the-mill to red hot success.

The SmackDown Spot

WWE have got Tyson Kidd, Justin Gabriel, Bad News Barrett, Luke Harper, Cody Rhodes, Kofi Kingston, the new and improved Sin Cara, Damien Sandow, and Dolph Ziggler sitting in the locker room. That’s a list that omits anybody who might be even remotely confused with a main eventer, guys like Cesaro and Bray Wyatt, and the perma-injured likes of Rey Mysterio (and, seemingly, Christian). Oh, and people who just aren’t particularly interesting like Zack Ryder and The Miz. It’s a bunch of talent not even appearing on the show.

There’s Evan Bourne sitting on the sidelines, having apparently been ready to return for over year from the injury he suffered in 2012. He’s a charisma vacuum, as are Kidd and Gabriel, but he’s capable of exciting matches. He’d be a fresh addition to the roster after so long away too.

They’ve even got access to David Otunga! He’s not appeared on TV in forever, despite having an incredible array of wrestling tools at his disposal (I know I’m in the minority on this but the guy’s valuable in roles other than Active Non-Gimmick Wrestler).

This had to happen apparently. I'd probably have been
fine if Hornswoggle weren't involved.

And yet somehow, for some reason, somebody made the decision to give Hornswoggle and El Torito a match on SmackDown. I’ve nothing against Torito. In fact I’ve enjoyed his JBL and Cole Show antics and the swagger he exhibits whenever he’s stationed at ringside. The guy’s entertaining. I’ve no time at all for Hornswoggle, but this isn’t really the point. Why are two gimmick seconds, one of whom hasn’t appeared in anything even approaching a meaningful capacity in years, getting time to have a match on TV when the names above aren’t even appearing?

Diego, Fernando and 2-out-of-3MB were at ringside on the show. Couldn’t they have had a tag match in place of Torito v Hornswoggle? So what if they’d had that exact match on Main Event. It would have been more entertaining than the leprechaun and the bull (even that four word description makes the match more fun than it could ever be). If repeating meaningless matches within the same week is against the rules then they could’ve done a six man instead and had ‘swoggle and Torito do the finish.

I appreciate that not everyone’s going to get on every show. With a roster so large people being relegated to the locker room is inevitable. But that’s not an excuse to exclude everyone. Give us someone off the list instead of nobody.

For all they’re getting a lot right these days WWE are still dropping the ball on little things (no pun intended). Next time can we have Kidd and Gabriel in matching trunks doing their storyline best to impress management enough to be awarded a tag title match? Please and thanks.

The Secret Admirer

A month or so ago it was revealed that Kaitlyn has a secret admirer. We’ve been treated to a number of lifeless backstage segments in which we’ve seen the Divas champion discussing the situation with Natalya and Brodus Clay’s Funkadactyls. It’s not been the most engrossing television but at least it’s given WWE’s female champ something to do.

On the list of things confirmed for this evening’s RAW, sandwiched between Triple H wrestling Curtis Axel and the return of Dolph Ziggler, is the reveal of the secret admirer’s identity. To be clear, just because WWE say the identity’s going to be revealed doesn’t mean it will actually happen. There’s every chance that any segment featuring Kaitlyn will simply be designed to further the mystery. The entire thing could even be bumped from the show completely.

Anyone on the roster could theoretically be revealed as Kaitlyn’s would-be-beau, but a few stand out above the others. Probably the most obvious candidates are the Bellas. Yeah, both of them. They always operate as a unit.

They’ve been shown giggling to one another once or twice after Natalya and Kaitlyn’s chats, seemingly hinting at them playing a prank. Nikki and Brie playing a trick would set up a fresh and much needed feud for Kaitlyn. Nowadays a programme between a female champion and female twins means we’ll see wrestling matches. Back in the days of the Attitude Era it would have meant something very different. Jerry Lawler would have had a field day.

 

Is the secret admirer even real? Perhaps the Bellas are playing a trick

 

In a similar vein to the Bellas there’s potential for AJ Lee to be revealed as the one playing the prank. ‘The Crazy Chick’ became the number one contender to the Divas championship last month and hasn’t had her shot yet. She could be messing with Kaitlyn to throw her off her game for their upcoming match.

There’s nothing the Divas division needs more than plots for its performers. Either the Bellas or AJ would be good choices for a programme with ‘The Powerhouse Diva’.

Of course, the admirer is probably going to be a guy. Of the male members of the roster one of the favourites for the role is Big E Langston. If it is him there are two things WWE could do. The first is have Langston say that he was playing a joke (yep, just like the Bellas or AJ). That could feed into the AJ v Kaitlyn feud, and possibly develop into E realising that he upset Kaitlyn, regretting his actions and gradually turning face to pursue a real relationship with her.

The second option would be to have Big E’s feelings be genuine from the off. That could see him go babyface on Ziggler and AJ straight away or gradually over time. If this turns out to be WWE’s direction I think a slower approach would be best. Rushing things wouldn’t do Big E any favours. Audiences would be inclined to side with the more established and already popular ‘Show Off’. If WWE wants to promote that feud they need to bring it about slowly and convince viewers to cheer Langston. Forcing things won’t work.

For the record I like the Langston, Ziggler and AJ unit and think there’s loads left for them to do together. It’s too early to break them up. Leaving them together benefits all three and will ensure the split means more when it comes.

The only other name likely to be linked to Kaitlyn (that I can think of anyway) is Cody Rhodes. An on-screen relationship for the two was teased a few months ago before being dropped in favour of teaming the Rhodes Scholars with the Bellas. Pairing Cody with Kaitlyn now would not only give him a storyline (something he’s been without since last autumn) but it could also be used to lead to a face turn and a World Heavyweight title feud with Dolph Ziggler.

 

Cody has form when it comes to admiring Kaitlyn

 

There are other options of course, but none of them are terribly interesting. It’s the sort of storyline you could quite easily imagine being given to Zack Ryder. If the decision’s been made to wrap the story up instead of going somewhere with it (something that happens all too often in WWE) then Hornswoggle could very well be brought in to play the punchline. It could even be Christian’s route back on to television, despite the fact that he’s been married for twelve years.

Of everyone on the roster Rhodes would be my top choice for the role. He’s been a heel for a long time now. Going face would let him change his act. A well plotted story taking place over a number of months could see Cody initially spurned by Kaitlyn and showing his heartache before gradually winning her round and becoming an on-screen couple. If that doesn’t encourage audiences to sympathise with him and turn him into a genuinely liked star I don’t know what will.