The Certified Gs

Enzo Amore is a certified G and a bona fide stud. This, apparently, cannot be taught. Big Cass is seven feet tall. This definitely cannot be taught. Carmella is hot as hell. This is yet another thing that cannot be taught.

Despite their questionable grasp of subjects that can and cannot be taught Enzo, Big Cass and Carmella are one of NXT’s most popular acts. Considering the number of wrestlers on that show that can claim genuine popularity that’s quite the achievement. And what’s nice about their popularity is that the show’s writers seem in no hurry to rush them into something they’re not ready for, instead letting them refine what they do. Instead of being rushed into a split, as happens on the main roster, the three are simply being allowed to be a unit and perfect their team work and (hashtag) banter.

Nothing in this picture can be taught.

What’s interesting (to me at least) to note about them is how much they have in common with the New Age Outlaws. There’s the obvious fact that Enzo runs through some Road Dogg-esque spiel before every match, beginning with something people can shout along with before breaking off into something more specific to their situation. There’s also the fact that Cass, the larger member of the team, wears trunks while Enzo, the smaller man, wears… well, not traditional wrestling gear. Enzo has a peculiar hairstyle. Cass has one line that he uses repeatedly.

Those are visual things, but the analogy carries over to the pair’s matches. Generally Enzo gets worked over before tagging out to Cass. That’s the formula of many tag teams, but the Outlaws used it more the most. In fact they used it pretty much all the time, which is not necessarily a strength.

Carmella is not a natural fit in the Outlaws comparison. The closest the Outlaws ever came to having a manager was Chyna and (thankfully) Carmella is not in the Chyna mould. What we have in Carmella is a character who seems to have been introduced to give Enzo and Cass a long term story. It’s been made very clear that Enzo has a soft spot for the former hairdresser. His attempts to impress her have failed. She seems to tolerate him as a pal, seemingly getting along better with the more laid back Cass.

Right now it looks like Enzo is going to continue to try to impress Carmella and continue to fail. The likelihood is that his behaviour will keep costing he and Cass wins. My assumption is that Carmella will eventually reveal she’s more interested in the more relaxed, confident and friendly Cass than the overly-enthusiastic Enzo, perhaps leading to a break-up of the team. Although this being NXT, the place where WWE doesn’t just plough blindly through the obvious options, it’s possible Enzo will accept Carmella and Cass and continue the tag team.

It’s even possible the three will simply remain a group of pals and I hope this is what happens. I like them as they are and feel they’d be of more benefit to the main roster as a group than as unaffiliated acts. There are plenty of singles wrestlers in WWE. It’s tag teams that are needed. A split and a promotion to the main roster would likely see Enzo drifting aimlessly within months and Cass pushed too quickly, ending up a misfire in need of something to do before another headline push was sent his way (because size).

As a unit they complement one another and can contribute to making WWE’s doubles scene interesting. If they can get a team name sorted (I’d like to suggest The Certified Gs, because why not?) then they’d be pretty much ready to hit Monday nights. Not that that seems likely to happen any time soon.

The Difficult Third Reign

It seems incredibly likely that Daniel Bryan is going to win his third WWE championship soon. Whether it happens at WrestleMania XXX, Extreme Rules, or on a hyped episode of RAW the title change it’s going to be a special moment for WWE. D-Bry has been the company’s hottest star for at least a year now and people have been desperate for him to capture the WWE championship and go on to enjoy the long reign they feel he has earned.

WWE have done a good job of stoking the fire and keeping people interested in and supportive of Bryan, with his first two reigns contributing significantly to the support for him. His first title victory started when he defeated John Cena clean in the main event of SummerSlam, a significant moment for any wrestler these days: Cena doesn’t get beaten by just anybody, let alone clean. That lasted only a few minutes thanks to a heel turn and Pedigree from special ref Triple H and a Money in the Bank cash-in from Randy Orton.

Reign number two lasted longer, but still wasn’t long. Bryan pinned ‘The Viper’ at Night of Champions but was relieved of his prize the following evening when referee Scott Armstrong¹ implied he had been paid off by D-Bry to make a fast count (even though Bryan clearly had Orton down for longer). Bryan denied this, natch, with the implication being that ‘The Game’ was actually the man who’d paid Armstrong off to make a fast count so he’d have an excuse to strip Bryan of the title. A contingency plan should Orty lose.

Future three time champ?

That Bryan’s first two reigns with WWE’s premier prize lasted less than a day combined (making him the shortest reigning two-time champ by a significant margin) helped to rally fans behind him. That he had been slighted, held down by his bosses in such an open manner, made him hotter. People wanted to see him fight back for what he’d earned, uncowed by the significant odds stacked against him. It was an effective storyline choice, taking feelings fans already had and causing them to become more fervent. That’s what a good wrestling storyline should do.

WWE need to have a good plan in place for Bryan’s third reign to meet the high expectations of fans. Viewers have been kept waiting for a Bryan title win that would last. They were ready for it last August when he beat Cena. The intervening time has, as I’ve already said, only made people more desperate for him to win and keep hold of the championship. But the build can’t go on indefinitely. At some point Bryan needs to win the title and hold it for a while to validate the belief people have placed in him. Burning him too often burns the fans too often, and WWE can’t afford to do that if Bryan’s going to be a star for them long term. If it’s going to meet expectations the manner in which he wins it and the length of time holds it for has to satisfy fans.

I’m not advocating Bryan being the champion for a year or equalling CM Punk’s vaunted 434 day reign. But a period measured in months rather than minutes is called for if people are to be left satisfied in their chosen hero’s quest. Bryan keeping the belt(s) until SummerSlam would be good. That would be long enough not only to satisfy but also to prepare someone to take the prize from him, and a storyline to tell.

***

¹ With the Triple H character since becoming a man who uses his power and old pals to hold down deserving talent I’m surprised the fact that Armstrong is Road Dogg’s brother hasn’t been mentioned. Road Dogg has become one of Tripper’s enforcers and a beneficiary of his favourtism over the last few months. Acknowledging it was his brother that made the fast count, even in a minor, off the cuff way that could go unnoticed by most, would add a lot to the story.

Replacing Booker

I made fun of him. We all made fun of him. But now that he’s gone I miss him. I’m talking, of course, about Booker T.

Last week’s episode of SmackDown (which is recapped here) saw Booker promoted to the lofty position of General Manager. The storyline reasoning for this is that Vince McMahon, WWE’s top boss, wanted someone in the roll who had experience and the respect of the fans.

That’s fine storyline reasoning for the move, but it doesn’t make any sense to me for the only man with wrestling experience (Michael Cole’s tedious gimmick outings don’t count) on the blue brand’s commentary team to be shunted backstage. Making him General Manager allows him to keep appearing regularly on TV and even wrestle occasionally, but he was of more use to the show wearing a headset. His deliberately absurd catchphrases and flawed logic were often a highlight of the programme.

After last week’s show it’s clear that SmackDown needs a colour commentator. Josh Mathews is a very good broadcaster by WWE standards, but placing him alongside Michael Cole doesn’t allow him to shine. It also means there is nobody offering a wrestler’s perspective on the . Without Booker T to even things out there is too much Michael Cole. A replacement is needed.

It’s been suggested that John Bradshaw Layfield could return to WWE to resume his old position as SmackDown colour commentator. He was excellent in the role during 2006 and 2007, gradually learning how to elevate talent with heelish comments and forming a good on-screen rapport with Michael Cole.

That was then and this is now. While JBL’s verbal abilities would remain unchanged the same cannot necessarily be said of his relationship with Cole. Since Layfield left the announce desk Cole has become a heel. That would mean either JBL playing a face, which he could theoretically do by altering his gimmick so it’s more APA than JBL, or Cole being switched to a full-on babyface.

As I don’t think the latter would work (because he has been rammed down our throats as an obnoxious braggart for so long) the best route would be to have Layfield work as a face. That could affect his ability to work as a commentator because he’s used to being the bad guy when wearing a headset.

It’s not a guarantee that ‘The Wrestling God’ will be returning to WWE though. The guy is retired and living in the Bahamas, which would make going back on the road with WWE, even for just one working day a week, time consuming for him. WWE may have to look within its current talent pool to fill the Booker-shaped hole on SmackDown.

"Shucky ducky quack quack!" is just one of the Bookerisms we won'y be enjoying anymore

Either William Regal or Byron Saxton could be brought up from NXT to work alongside Cole and Mathews. Perhaps WWE could remove Cole all together and just have a two man unit with Mathews calling the action? Both Saxton and Regal are good enough to call a taped show and would provide the in-ring insight needed in a different style to Booker T. They’d work nicely alongside Mathews too.

I’ve suggested before (here, in fact) that either Wade Barrett or Christian could be tried out at the announce desk. The former Nexus boss has experience in the role from his time in FCW and could easily work as a commentator and still be a full time wrestler if his in-ring appearances were limited to RAW, leaving him free to sit at the announce desk on SmackDown.

‘Captain Charisma’ would be a better fit though. He’s one of WWE’s better talkers, knows how to work as either a face or a heel, and is closer to retirement than Barrett. While he still has many good years as an active performer left in him it would be better to limit his wrestling time than that of a rising star like Barrett.

They could surprise us and bring in rated promo guys Kevin Nash or Mick Foley. It’s not likely though: ‘The Hardcore Legend’ has worked as a broadcaster in WWE before but found the job so stressful that he quit and went to TNA for three years. The naturally more laid back ‘Big Sexy’ has never worked as a commentator for WWE but he’s got a gift for humour and I can imagine him working nicely alongside Cole. There’s a very real possibility of him phoning it in though.

Personally I’d like to see WWE give Road Dogg a try. He has been working backstage as a producer since last year so he’s available to the company and his appearances on web series Are You Serious? and RAW’s 1000^th episode show that he hasn’t lost his touch on the microphone. The New Age Outlaw has worked with Josh Mathews before and as a natural babyface he would fill the gap left by Booker T nicely.

If it were up to me WWE would give Road Dogg a try and keep ‘The Instant Classic’ in mind as a backup choice. They should also be grooming new commentators in developmental, but I‘ve said this before. Perhaps the lack of Booker will spur them into action.

As long as they don’t give the job to Matt Striker we should be fine.