WWE Hell in a Cell 2015 review

Hell in a Cell was always going to struggle to be a fully satisfying show. The reliance on rematches made it seem a very familiar card. And if there's one thing that hinders a wrestling card more than anything else it's bouts feeling overly familiar. The main event was actually something first seen thirteen years ago, for example. There was no way to disguise it and so WWE didn't bother, they simply didn't acknowledge it. Which was the smartest thing they could do in the circumstances but longer term it may be nice if they could maybe plan ahead and change things up a little to avoid something like this happening again.

The opening segment saw John Cena stride out and issue his Open Challenge. He didn't spend too much time getting to it and it was accepted by... Zeb Colter. Yes, really. Zeb Colter in John Laurinaitis's scooter. He cut a promo about people with differing views and from different countries coming together before introducing his new client: reigning AAA mega champion Alberto Del Rio. Guess they came to terms after ADR realised he was burning through bridges too quickly outside of WWE.

Another former world champion taking a backwards step in terms of titles.

 'Mexico's Greatest Export' was given a hero's welcome by the LA crowd, getting chants of "Si!" and "Welcome back!" as Michael Cole hyped him up to remind viewers why they should care about him being Cena's challenger. Sadly the crowd died down early in the eight minute match and didn't seem interested in waking back up, despite some good work from Cena and Del Rio, before the finish. That saw ADR slip out of an AA to hit Cena with a backstabber and a super kick, pinning Cena clean.

The pairing of ADR and Zeb Colter is peculiar but there's time for it to be fleshed out and given context. Del Rio doesn't do a huge amount for me as a wrestler but it's nice to see someone being added to the roster who can freshen things up a bit. WWE's improved considerably over the last year but additions are always welcome in a company so keen on recycling. He was introduced in a strong fashion too: not just anybody gets to pin Cena clean. Notably not even WWE champ Seth Rollins has been permitted that honour.

We were then treated (and I use that term loosely) to a backstage segment with The Authority. Rollins hyped himself up and Triple H and Steph mentioned his match with Kane. The Director of Operations then showed up, showed us his marvellous take on a multiple personality gimmick, and was dismissed by Trips. It was boring.

The long-running rivalry between Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt was settled after that in the night's first Hell in a Cell match. Don't let the fact that they've only had two singles matches on pay-per-view fool you, these two have been at odds for a while. Specifically since June when 'The Eater of Worlds' returned from a TV absence and cost Reigns the briefcase. After a few weeks of awkward but well-produced segments revolving around Reigns' daughter (awkward mostly because of how clearly uncomfortable Reigns was with the situation) the pair settled into a more natural take n the family feud, specifically the revival of their Shield versus Wyatt Family dynamic. Wyatt brought Luke Harper back into the fold and debuted Braun Strowman while Reigns called on his bessie mate Dean Ambrose and a string of ragtag helpers to wage his war.

The long-running Wyatt v Reigns spat is finally over. Breathe a sigh of relief.

Basically this HIAC match had to pay off a fair bit of story, the vast majority of which had been underwhelming, in addition to the standard requirement of keeping Roman looking strong and giving him a hot match. Pleasingly, it accomplished both. This was all down to the keenness of both men to make the match good. This wasn't the best Cell match ever, nor did it break the years-long trend of these matches being a bit pointless, but it was engaging and accomplished everything it needed to. They used chairs, tables and kendo sticks to make an impact en route to Reigns going over with a spear.

The awkward post-Cell lull spot was handed to the Dudley Boyz and New Day. Big E and Kofi cut a typically entertaining pre-match promo about Xavier Woods being injured. They also danced. Then the Dudleys came out and we were subjected to another subpar match between the two teams (the highlight of which was a spectacular inverted Rocker Dropper botch by the Duds). New Day won after E hit Bubba with a broken trombone and Kofi hit Trouble in Paradise.

I like both of these teams but this feud has been uninventive after an initially good week or two and we've yet to see any good matches come out of it. It may be time to accept they don't have especially good chemistry, switch the belts in a tables match, and do something new. Continuing like this will achieve nothing.

Nikki bella got her Divas title rematch against Charlotte after that. All seconds were banned from ringside to ensure a fair match. The storyline reason was that this created a fair playing field. I suspect the real life reason may have been some sort of test to see how Charlotte did in a singles pay-per-view match with just her, an opponent and a referee.

Nikki telling a story there. Great stuff.

If it was a test she did fine, but Nikki handled the bulk of the work. She was on offence for the majority of the match, with Charlotte only firing up and hitting certain moves at select points. Anyone doubting Niki's ability to lead and construct a good match should really just pay attention to this. She was very, very good and told a different story to their previous matches. I'd like to see what she could do in a pay-per-view match with someone more talented than 'The Nature Girl', like Sasha Banks for example. Charlotte overcame Nikki's targeting of her back and managed to apply the figure eight long enough to get the submission victory.

That was followed by a scene in which Dean Ambrose congratulated Roman Reigns on his Hell in a Cell victory. They said they'd celebrate and also referred to knowing where they had to go next. They said that would be discussed on RAW. It seemed like the weirdest teaser WWE's done for TV in  while.

Kane challenging Seth Rollins for the WWE world championship came next. Kane dominated at the opening before Seth slowly turned things around, starting with an opportunistic attack as 'The Big Red Machine' lumbered onto the top rope. They did the standard issue ringside brawling, including a table spot, before Rollins went over with two top rope knees, two super kicks, a frog splash and a Pedigree (because Kane must be kept strong for whatever reason). It was the best Kane match I can remember seeing in ages but Rollins is capable of, deserves and needs, if he is to be the valuale asset he so clearly can be, so much better.

The semi-main event spot went to Ryback and Kevin Owens. They had a fun enough match but it was too short to amount to much more. KO went over with a pop-up power bomb on 'The Big Guy'.

 

One last time.

Finally we had the evening's main event: the Final Ever Confrontation™ between The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar. Within minutes Lesnar had found a suplex attempt blocked and been busted open. A foray to the outside of the ring was controlled by 'Taker, with 'The Beast' taking over with a chair back in the ring. 'Taker regained control and used the chair himself, placing it against Lesnar's throat and sending him down into the mat.

Lesnar sold for maybe a minute before bouncing out of a corner and nailing a German suplex. Then he hit another. And another. Then an F5. 'Taker kicked out. Another F5. Another kick out. Lesnar used ring steps to Undie's head. He kicked out again. Lesnar tried caving his foe's head. Undertaker moved.

Undertaker kicked up at Lesnar, sending him falling backwards with the steps landing on top of him. A desperation Hell's Gate was applied. Lesnar forced his way out and clubbed away at 'The Last Outlaw' with left and right hands. With his foe subdued Lesnar ripped up the mat covering only for 'Taker to sit up and choke slam him onto bare wooden boards. Brock kicked out so 'Taker hit him with a Tombstone.

Lesnar kicked out. Undertaker sold utter disbelief and struggled back to his feet. He signalled for another Tombstone but Lesnar low blowed him, paying Undertaker back for SummerSlam. Following up with an F5 Lesnar got the pin, winning his feud and, in Michael Cole's words, cemented his legacy as 'The Conqueror'. It was a slow starter but once they started breaking into the finishers this was a good match.

After the match Lesnar walked up the aisle and 'Taker gave him a knowing look before lying back in the ring and accepting his defeat. After a few attempts 'The Dead Man' did his bolt upright sit up spot. He just looked like a knackered old bloke but I think we were meant to see it as his magic failing him. The crowd played along and chanted "Thank you, Taker!" as he staggered up to his feet.

Newest recruit or next opponent? Next opponent, obvs.

Sinking down to his knee, UT went for his signature pose. But he was interrupted by the Wyatt Family. Harper, Rowan and Strowman swarmed him and took him down to the mat. Then they held him up for Wyatt to give him a few punches and carried him out of the arena. Going completely overboard JBL bellowed about honour and Undertaker being a warrior as the show went off the air.

Despite the number of rematches I thought Hell in a Cell was a worthwhile watch. It's not something that will make any show of the year polls but it had some memorable moments and only one out-and-out dud bout (the tag title match). It was a basic PPV offering form the Fed, but sometimes that's okay. It helps you appreciate the better stuff that little bit more.

***

Results summary:

Alberto Del Rio defeated John Cena to win the United States championship
Roman Reigns defeated Bray Wyatt
New Day defeated the Dudley Boyz to retain the tag team championship
Charotte defeated Nikki Bella to retain the Divas championship
Seth Rollins defeated Kane to retain the WWE championship
Kevin Owens defeated Ryback to retain the Intercontinental championship
Brock Lesnar defeated The Undertaker

The Cosmic Rivalry

So the current hot gossip is that John Cena is about to take time off to film some sort of fitness reality show. This puts his fifth and current reign as United States champion in jeopardy. Because time off while still being champ would go against established characteristics and, more to the point, the last several months of enjoyable Open Challenges.

Say goodbye (for now) to that belt, John.

I've no idea how WWE will write Cena out of storylines. It seems likely that we'll find out at Hell in a Cell this evening or on tomorrow's edition of RAW. The typical WWE approach would be for a heel to defeat Cena via shenanigans and then go on a tear while he's away before dropping the belt back to him upon his return.

I think Cena's departure could be better than that. It's a chance to give someone a boost and use the Open Challenge for what it was always designed for: giving someone lower down the card a rub. My pick would be Stardust.

In Stardust WWE has an incredible villain. Not only is he different to everyone other heel on the roster but he works in part because of the PG environment. His panto villain-slash-Adam West Batman adversary shtick is perfect for WWE's current product and in casting himself as a mad, scheming supervillain Stardust is the perfect foil for the archetypal true blue WWE babyface. And they don't come any truer or bluer than Cena.

That he has henchmen is a help. And henchmen is the ideal term for Konnor and Viktor because it invokes the 60s Batman vibe that Stardust plays to. Outnumbering Cena is a big deal as it provides an easy way for Stardust to get the win and the championship without Cena being made to look weak (Cena, like Roman Reigns, must be kept strong). And the group is something that can be fleshed out.

Stardust and his money-loving lead henchman.

Bad News King Wade Barrett I, despite having had a falling out with 'The Prince of Dark Matter', would make an excellent lead goon. Yeah, he's probably talented enough to warrant an upper mid-card spot on his own merits but nobody in WWE seems interested in giving it to him. He and Stardust (under different monikers) used to have good chemistry as a double act on The JBL and Cole Show. It would be nice to see that revived for the main roster. I think Barrett would work well as a guy who's agreed to be Stardust's lackey just for money, deadpanning his way through backstage skits in which The Ascension clearly believe in Stardust's mental outer space chat. 'The Cosmic Centurion' has a nice ring to it.

I also think Paige would be a good addition to The Cosmic Wasteland. Yeah she's busy with the confusing disintegration of PCB and developing personal beef with Natalya right now but that won't last forever. Her character could do with a tweak or two to refresh it. Being put with The Cosmic Wasteland would fit with her recent slightly unhinged nature and also allow for an interesting switch-up. Less punk chick and more space valkyrie maybe.

These are additions that could be made while Cena was off doing his filming. Four people being stationed at ringside for rematches would help the feud stretch for a while, giving Cena something to do against a character well-suited to being his foe, boosting Stardust's standing, helping Paige stay fresh, and giving The Ascension and Barrett larger roles than they're likely to get doing anything else.

This is what I'd do. Let's see what WWE does.

WWE Hell in a Cell 2015 preview

Last month's WWE pay-per-view was called Night of Champions. Judging by the card we have here this month's could easily be marketed as Night of Rematches (holds for laughter, gets silence). All but one of these matches is something we've seen before in one form or another. While rematches are a part of wrestling and some shows are going to be heavier on them than others this seems a particularly bad instance of RematchMania.

Ryback v Kevin Owens and Charlotte v Nikki Bella are both straight-up rematches from Night of Champions. On that show Owens and Charlotte defeated their foes for the Intercontinental and Divas championships respectively. Both matches should be good but I can't see any reason we should expect a title change. The new champions would only be weakened by dropping the gold so soon after winning it.

Despite these fun little conspiracy theories floating around about there being a cabal of influential people within WWE desperate to bring about Owens' downfall (hey, there's a Reality Era storyline waiting to happen) I don't think it will manifest itself (not that I think it's true) in a loss for him here. Meanwhile Charlotte seems to be the chosen one for the new look Divas division. She'll hold onto the strap to work that defence that's so clearly been set up against Paige. In fact I wouldn't be at all surprised if something happened to further that programme here.

An even more chronic rematch example is New Day versus the Dudley Boyz. The two teams didn't just face off at Night of Champions, they also clashed at the MSG special. Annoyingly it was the same combo of New Day wrestlers each time (Kofi Kingston and Big E). Had they been permitted to switch in Xavier Woods we would have one fresh combination to run through here before the inevitable table match stip gets wheeled out.

I expect New Day to win here. They won't lose the titles until that tables match happens. That is the natural time for Bubba and Devon to get their much ballyhooed tenth (WWE) tag title win. Hopefully we get an altered finish here though. I don't want to sit through the NOC and MSG bout for a third time.

Reigns versus Wyatt is yet another rematch although it does have the fact that we've never seen the pair in a Hell in a Cell match going in its favour. Last month I incorrectly predicted a win for Roman in his tag match because I assumed that would be the end of the feud. I foolishly didn't think to consult my WWE PPV calendar before writing that. Had I done I'd have remembered HIAC was coming and would have known that Wyatt v Reigns was the obvious match to go with.

I expect this match to be good. Reigns hasn't had a bad pay-per-view match this year. He's had a couple with dull portions though and while one of those came against 'The Eater of Worlds' (at Battleground, Wyatt won) I think the cage gimmick here, not to mention interference from the Family (they're fenced out but that won' sop 'em), will be enough for them to keep viewers engrossed for the duration. I'm interested in the layout of this match because Reigns matches have been getting a tonne of attention from creative since 'Mania and it's his first Cell match, a big deal in WWE. Plus, y'know, make look strong and all that.

There's the US Open Challenge tarring John Cena too. While we don't know who'll answer that the chances are that it will be someone who we've seen face Cena before, because Cena's worked with everyone. Ziggler is a contender for the spot given his recent determination to answer the call and defeat Cena. The member of Ne Day that doesn't wrestle the tag match is a possibility too as they all recently took a crack at the challenge. Dean Ambrose and Wyatt's henchmen are all candidates too what with their matches being cancelled due to a Randy Orton injury.

Hard to say who'll win without knowing who the challenger is. But I'll go with Cena retaining and losing the belt on RAW. There's so much talk of him taking time off that it seems impossible he'll be the champ this time next week. But I think he'll drop the gold on Monday rather than on PPV. Which would make sense as that's been the home of his Open Challenge since it started.

The only other match that's not a PPV rerun is WWE world champion Seth Rollins versus... Demon Kane. Yes, Demon Kane. Because that's how we're referring to him now. That character's mad and fragmented nature has finally reached the point where WWE have embraced it and decided to run with a multiple personality storyline for him. I personally think they should go further with it and retcon Isaac Yankem, the Christmas Creature and Fake Diesel to be more of Kane's personalities. It'd be a laugh if nothing else.

You have to feel bad for Seth, really. Since winning the title he's gotten to work with Ambrose, Reigns, Orton, Lesnar and Cena on pay-per-view and a bunch of talented lads on TV, and now he's come up against the problem that seemingly every world champion in WWE faces sooner or later: proving themselves against Glenn Jacobs. As a character in a wrestling environment Kane is tremendous. There are very few things that can't be done with him at this point because he has such a ridiculous history, backstory and gimmick. But that doesn't mean he should be wrestling for the WWE title in 2015 at the age of 48.

Rollins will win. He'll be booked to show far too much weakness for 'The Devil's Favourite Demon'. The best way this match could be handled now that it's been announced is Rollins making short work of Kane, pinning him clean with a Pedigree before sauntering backstage and cutting a promo to Renee Young about how he's the best champion ever and he's retired Kane. Which, for the record, is a thing in this match: if Kane loses he's kayfabe fired as the kayfabe Director of Kayfabe Operations. It's entirely possible this will be his last match with the company. Though it probably won't be.

Last but not least there's the evening's second Hell in a Cell match between Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker. The pair have met in this match before. Okay it was thirteen years ago but it still happened. And on top of this exact bout having happened before (I believe the only time ever that two guys have had a one-on-one Cell match more than once) 'Taker and 'The Beast' headlined SummerSlam two months ago. These two facts taken together make this match seem very familiar despite the part-time schedules of the men involved.

I'd originally assumed this programme would stretch until WrestleMania 32. I'm pleased that it isn't. By the time that show rolls around it will have been two years since Lesnar ended The Streak. While there's a natural story to tell between the two on the 'Mania platform it's not necessarily one worth telling. Even if 'The Last Outlaw' avenged his loss at WrestleMania XXX he'd still be without his Streak. There are better uses for Lesnar both at WM32 and leading up to that show. Doing a couple of rematches with 'Taker makes sense but keeping it running for that long would have been dull.

I'm leaning towards a victory for 'The Pain'. Both lads were protected by the "controversial" (read "massively unsatisfying") ending to their SummerSlam bout, telling the crowd that they're each as good as each other and either can take a win here. This shouldn't be the case. Lesnar should win. He has the longer future in the company and is worth more to them at this point. As he no longer has The Streak there's nothing to be gained from having 'The Phenom' get his win back. He retains his veteran allure and character mystique no matter what. Lesnar losing tarnishes the monster reputation that's been built up over the last several years. Lesnar losing is absolutely not what's best for business.

***

Predictions summary:

Brock Lesnar to defeat The Undertaker
Roman Reigns to defeat Bray Wyatt
Seth Rollins to defeat Kane to retain the WWE championship
The Dudley Boyz to defeat New Day by disqualification 
Charlotte to defeat Nikki Bella to retain the Divas championship
Kevin Owens to defeat Ryback to retain the Intercontinental championship
John Cena to retain the United States championship

Turning the Paige

On the Monday 21 September episode of Monday Night RAW is WAR, TV's longest running episodic action adventure soap opera (or something), Paige cut a scathing promo. Or, if you prefer, she dropped a pipebomb. Personally I don't prefer, finding the term trite and irritating when applied to anything other than the segment which originated the phrase, CM Punk's show-closing hijacking of RAW on June 27 2011.

Paige cut her promo during the in-ring celebration of new Divas champion Charlotte (let the record show she'd defeated Nikki Bella for the title at Night of Champions the previous evening). After claiming she was the one who'd made the upturn in women's wrestling in the Fed possible, calling the interaction between Charlotte and her pa Ric patronising, and reminding everyone that she'd won the Divas title on her first night on the roster Paige laid into every member of the roster. Alicia Fox was labelled a third wheel. All three members of Team BAD were written off as all flash and no substance¹. Natalya was sarcastically referred to as MIA. Charlotte was called a placeholder champ, Lynch irrelevant, and there was heavy implication that storyline Paige believes the Bellas only got to and keep their spots because of who they're romantically linked to². It was good stuff, believable, relatable and understandable. Charlotte's response was slightly disappointing because she undersold the betrayal she should have been feeling and simply lashed out angrily. But it was at least spiritied.

Paige there, working herself into a shoot.

It's not the specifics that are important here, it's what Paige's words set up. And they set up a lot. There's the obvious Paige versus Charlotte match for the title. It also created issues between Natalya and Paige and Becky Lynch and Paige, the reasons for each being pleasantly different. Natty has been positioned as the old guard whom 'The Anti-Diva' considers irrelevant/past her prime, which Natty will clearly want to prove wrong.

Meanwhile Becky was labelled "the least relevant" woman on the roster by Paige. Since Monday she's taken the initiative (or been ordered to follow up on the verbal assault) and launched a series of pun themed insults at Paige on Twitter. The pun aspect isn't doing anybody any favours but 'The Lasskicker' firing back as opposed to meekly accepting Paige's low blow or waiting until the next TV show to assert herself is absolutely the right thing for everyone involved. It creates an issue between two wrestlers that gives them a reason to have a match that doesn't involve a championship. That's rare in WWE, especially in their women's league.

In a little under a week WWE have set the decidedly non-progressively named Divas up to have an interesting, layered division. Charlotte has a rematch with Nikki to come as well as her fresh issue with Paige to resolve. Paige has matches ready with both Natalya and Becky, which could both be run through before she gets her title shot opposite 'The Nature Girl' (no way Nikki's getting the belt back for a while). Sasha Banks has also been quietly set up for a larger role with TV wins over Paige and the emphasis on her being an established rival of Charlotte from NXT.

Whether the writing team follows through on any of this is something else. History tells us they'll mishandle things and deliver an uninspired sequence of matches revolving around the Divas title. But thanks to Paige's promo and the work that's been put into the division we can dare to get our hopes up that the MSG Network special or the Hell in a Cell PPV could feature Charlotte v Nikki and Paige v Becky, instead of the standard issue lone title match.

***

¹ The only one that could possibly apply to is Naomi, although I think it would be an unfair statement. Tamina has neither flash nor substance while Sasha Banks has both.

² The irony here is that until a few weeks ago that seemed to be a largely unfair statement. Then rumours started doing the rounds about Big Match John pulling strings to extend Nikki's title reign.