The move to Destination America may have overshadowed
anything good TNA tried or accomplished in 2014 but it also presented them with
a second chance. A live launch episode was not the simplest or smoothest way
for them to debut on the network but it did ensure they didn’t have to worry
about spoilers and also encouraged people to tune in live.
The show opened with cinematic shots of the roster
getting ready for matches. Some shots were more dramatic than others. Aries putting
on some sunglasses and The Wolves getting into a lift were not exactly
thrilling, for example. Nor was Jeff Hardy wandering around a hotel in full
face paint, although that did at least provide a laugh. Lashley doing his ring
pose at a hotel window was odd but probably more the sort of thing any new
viewers were expecting to see. The speeches from Bobby Roode, MVP and Storm to
their factions (or in Roode’s case, the general locker room) were good and the
faces versus heels fight outside the Manhattan Centre, while like something
from a 90s X-Men cartoon, did at least create a nice visual and get the show
started with a bang.
So in other words the opening moments were a mixed bag.
Classic TNA, really.
The brawl that started on the street spilled into the
arena as the show began. Taz and new commentator Josh Mathews talked it up as
mayhem, and they had plenty of time to do so as it went on for an age. Eventually
Kurt Angle came out (in jeans and a shirt, a move designed to hide his more
slender than ever frame) and reminded everyone they were in New York watching
Impact. Getting into the ring he announced that all champions would defend
their titles. He opted not to reveal who they’d face. That struck me as a poor
move. Announcing Aries and The Wolves for matches on the show might have
provided reasons for people to stick with the programme instead of turning
over.
Angle said he had one more announcement but before he
could make it he was interrupted by MVP. After reminding everyone Angle had hit
him over on Spike he tried to goad him into doing it again. Angle took some
abuse then revealed that he'd stepped down from his job as gimmick matchmaker
to become an active wrestler again, his last act being to structure the opening
Destination America card. Which, let's not forget, he'd done a poor job of as
wrestlers were finding out they were had matches to prepare for live on air.
The final match he booked was himself and MVP in a street
fight. He threw a punch and then clotheslined MVP out of the ring to get that
going. In typical Impact fashion they cut to a break seconds into the first
match of the night.
 |
| It's depressing to see Kurt looking like this. |
Mike Victor Papa controlled most of the match, which featured
surprisingly little brawling. They went outside of the ring a few times but
didn't really do much else with the street fight stip. MVP reversed out of the
ankle lock twice then went for a Drive-By kick in the corner. ‘The Cyborg’
scooted out of the way and got the Angle slam to win.
The company's champions were shown backstage getting
ready for their matches. Then MVP was shown screaming at Kenny King for not
helping him win his match with Angle. Kenny’s excuse was that he’d been with “an
incredible” girl. MVP left to remind Lashley that it was him who’d got Lashley
the world championship in the first place.
Josh and Taz introduced themselves again. Taz was
referred to as a three time world champ. Two of those reigns were with the ECW
world championship. He never won a world title anywhere else, so the third
reign is presumably a reference to the FTW championship he had in ECW. I
suspect Taz may have produced this link. Camera shots of the locker room and
the Gorilla position were shown. Cameras being in invasive places backstage is
TNA's latest revolutionary idea that will get them nowhere. It’s like GTV but
without the humour.
Crazzy Steve was shown backstage for no reason then Ethan
Carter III and his bodyguard Tyrus (formerly big, bad Brodus Clay) rocked up to
interrupt. And by interrupt I do of course mean feature in a segment they were
always going to get over someone like Crazzy Steve (who can’t even spell “crazy”).
EC£ reminded us of his fifteen month
undefeated streak, which includes two months where TNA was inactive, then sent
Tyrus off to find Rockstar Spud, whom he’d been feuding with on Spike TV.
Mike Tenay plugged Impact Wrestling: Unlocked, his new Destination
America show, then introduced a pre-recorded interview he'd conducted with
James Storm. Storm felt he'd been held down by management for years, so he’d
formed The Revolution to take what he was entitled to. Sanada, Manik and Abyss
had apparently come to him because they’re aware of how much truth Storm speaks.
He ended by saying that he and his gang aren't interested in titles, they want
blood. He then implied he's the Devil and walked off.
There was a lot to dislike with this. It was poor
material delivered poorly. Storm also continues to be a very clear rip off of
the more successful and far more interesting Bray Wyatt character. He’s not
been poorly cast as a cult leader, and the Revolution have been built up well,
but it will always be a group hampered by comparisons to a better gimmick in a
better company. I wasn’t a fan of Storm contradicting himself either: he’s formed
the group to take what he’s entitled to but all he wants is blood? That only
makes sense if you deliberately misinterpret what he said and take a
fundamentally wrong approach to grammar.
The episode’s second match saw Storm and Abyss team to
defend the TNA tag team titles against The Wolves. Richards and Edwards have
apparently gotten themselves matching tattoos, which look awful. For their sake I hope they’re transfers or body paint or
something. Matt and Jeff Hardy watched the match from ringside, but they need
to be on the show somewhere, right? On a side note I’d like to point out that Matt
was wearing his own gimmick shirt and Jeff was in a vest.
The Wolves were on proverbial fire to start, hitting four
sets of double dives on the champs and setting up for a double team move. Abyss
pulled Davey out of the ring before they could connect with it and choke
slammed him on the apron, with Storm throwing Eddie out of the ring. The Wolves
quickly regained the advantage, getting two counts off a double stomp on ‘The
Cowboy’ and some kicks (there are always kicks) on ‘The Monster’. The champs
got a two count of their own from a slingshot and DDT combo.
Eventually Manik and Sanada slid into the ring. That
prompted the Hardys to do the same. Because they're stand-up, fightin'
babyfaces. Jeff accidentally elbowed Eddie in the head as he tried to grab a
noose from abyss (yeah, a noose with a cowbell tied to it is a signature
object). Storm immediately super kicked Eddie and covered him for the win. It
wasn’t the greatest tag match ever but it was nice to see one that didn’t
feature a babyface being worked over endlessly.
After some clips reminding us of the first Roode v
Lashley match (Lashley won), EC3 telling us to “come hither" as he
wandered aimlessly through generic corridors, and a recap of the opening of the
show, MVP was shown getting his shout on with Lashley. He reminded the former
champ it was him who’d brought into TNA and it was also him that had
orchestrated his initial title victory. Lashley pushed him against a wall and
said he was getting his title back, the implication being that he was tired of
MVP’s boisterous shoutiness. MVP and King huffed off.
Back in the ring Jeremy Borash had appeared. He hyped up
bringing someone out for an interview. Instead EC3 appeared to say he'd win the
TNA title in 2015 and mock JB a bit. After initially receiving heavy boos the
audience split on him, alternating between chants of “You can't wrestle!” and “Yes
he can!”
 |
| This makes JB a face in my book. |
‘Wrestling’ Greatest Hero’ called out Spud. Spud did not
appear. Carter chatted a bit more and then revealed that Tyrus had found and
attacked Spud and had Spud carried to the ring. EC3 then announced his plans to
scalp Spud. Which is pretty full on for a wrestling show, assuming they
understand what scalping actually is. Borash told Carter he'd done enough and
slapped him. Then he was jobbed out by Tyrus and had his head shaved (which is
not scalping) by EC3. Spud recovered from his beating and cried. Because he and
JB and good mates backstage.
We were treated to another shot of MVP and King backstage.
King was outraged that Lashley had touched ‘Mr 305’. MVP made some placatory
noises that I couldn't understand because of poor audio quality. Presumably he
was saying he had a plan. Whatever he said it seemed to get King to simmer
down. The pair then walked off down one of the Manhattan Centres many generic
corridors.
After a recap of Roode v Lashley II (Roode won) and a
highlight video designed to introduce the concept of the X Division (it did a
decent job but reminded me how badly the X Division’s been handled over the
last five-plus years) Low Ki hit the ring to defend the X strap against Austin
Aries. They had a good match but it wasn't as memorable as might have been
expected considering the abilities of both men. They included their signature
moves and spots but refrained from anything more inventive. 'A Double' won the
match and the gold with a brainbuster.
Before Taryn Terrell defended her Knockouts title in a
battle royal DJ Z welcomed Robbie E back to TNA. He blamed his loss on The
Amazing Race (a reality show that aired in the US) on his ex-girlfriend Brooke
Tessmacher. Then Taryn came out and he had to stop talking. I wish he'd had
longer because what followed was not good. The crowd weren't interested, there
were too many people involved for any psychology to be used, and nothing
interesting happened. Taryn retained by last eliminating Havok, just as Havok
eliminated Gail Kim.
After the match Havok smacked Taryn about because she's a
monster heel and that's what monster heels do. The lights cut out for a few
moments and when they came back on Awesome Kong was in the ring. She got a
better reaction than anyone else involved in the Knockouts segment. Kong and
Havok squared off before Havok left without actually doing anything. Then a
referee got in Kong's face for literally no other reason than to give Kong an
excuse to choke slam him.
After that it was main event time, Bobby Roode defending
the TNA world heavyweight championship against former champion Lashley. It was
an adequate match, competent enough to avoid being bad but wholly unspectacular.
After a fiery start they broke into some ringside stalling then some light brawling.
The highlight of the first five minutes was probably Roode attempting the Crippler
Crossface numerous times.
Backstage MVP and king were shown trying to enter the
arena with two lads in clown masks, giving me flashbacks to Homicide and Eddie
Kingston as Outlaw Inc. Security told them they were not allowed into the arena
during the title match. The masked lads beat security up and then they all
walked off, King and MVP having a good laugh. Because there’s nothing funnier
than beating up security guards, am I right?
Back in the ring Lashley and Roode picked up the pace
with flapjacks, clotheslines, a Lashley running power slam, and a Roode
spinebuster. Roode got a power bomb out of the corner but Lashers kicked out
and gave Roode a Roode bomb. Roode sidestepped a spear from the challenger and
then hit one of his own. Because nothing says big match like using your foe's
moves.
As MVP and his lads appeared at ringside Roode applied a
crossface again. Lashley stood up in the hold, confirming that he’s willing to
be TNA’s answer to John Cena if TNA are up for it, but Roode quickly released
the hold and hit him with a Roode bomb. When Lashley kicked out the champ
applied the hold again. Kenny King pulled the referee out of the ring and
punched him to the ground. Angle came out to make the save but he got taken out
by all four of the heels. They then surrounded the ring preparing to attack
Roode, who was alone as Lashley lay unconscious in a corner. The masks were
taken off to reveal Low Ki and Samoa Joe.
 |
| The new champ is confused. Guess you'll want to tune in next week, eh? |
The swerves kept coming after that as Eric Young dashed
to the ring clutching a chair, chasing MVP, King, Joe and Ki off before hitting
Roode, his storyline bestie, with the chair. Lashley then speared Roode for the
win and the championship. MVP and his lads celebrated. The new champ looked miffed.
And that was how the inaugural Destination America Impact Wrestling episode closed.
It was a show obviously designed to hook us and ensure a
return visit for the following episode. In that regard it did a good job. In
addition to the announced Wolves v Hardys match, which has the potential to be
very good, there’s the reveal of Eric Young, Samoa Joe’s and Low Ki’s motives
for joining up with MVP and discovering whether Lashley agreed to their
involvement in his title match. Discounting the ease with which spoilers can be
found I think that’s a pretty good attempt by TNA to start things off on the
right foot.
I’m concerned for the group in the long term though. Over
the last few years TNA has proven fairly adept at being able to come up with
decent (no not great, decent) angles
that could improve the quality of their programming and encourage increases in
viewership. Their trouble has always been following up on these angles. They
tend to cut things short if they don’t immediately get people excited or simply
mishandle them from the start. What they produced on January 7 has potential
but the track record of the company indicates that they’ll fritter it away
within weeks.
It was also disheartening to see the same approach to
production was taken. There were few concessions made for new viewers. Very
little information was provided about the stars we were seeing. Their
motivations and pasts in the company could have been covered by Taz and Mathews
on commentary or in specially produced videos in between matches. They had the
time, as evidenced by the numerous backstage scenes featuring guys who also got
time to talk in the ring. Perhaps such videos will appear in the coming weeks,
but the debut episode was the logical place to put them.
Overall it wasn’t a bad show. But it was nothing
incredible either. As a long-time wrestling fan familiar with TNA’s struggles
and product it did nothing to encourage me to actually watch future shows as
opposed to reading spoilers and searching out bits I find interesting. I wouldn’t
call the show a failure, but I wouldn’t call it a success either. In other words business as usual for TNA.
***
Results summary:
Kurt Angle def MVPJames Storm and Abyss def The Wolves
Austin Aries def Low Ki to win the X Division championship
Taryn Terrell retained the Knockouts championship in a battle royal
Lashley def Bobby Roode to win the TNA world championship
No comments:
Post a Comment