Saturday 25 August 2012

SmackTalk 24.08.12

On Thursday night I dreamt about Booker T.

I went to his house and had a conversation with him while sitting on his staircase. He had a cream coloured carpet. I told him that I missed him calling SmackDown. As I was leaving a graphic appeared in the lower right corner of my vision advertising a Kane v Booker T match. The words “Up Next” were displayed.

I then heard Michael Cole’s voice. It was not necessarily in my head, it was as though what I’d just lived through were now a backstage vignette. He described Kane as a “dangerous new threat” to Booker T. Then I woke up.

None of this has anything to do with SmackDown. I thought it would make a nice addition to the recap.

This week saw the boring feud between Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio rumble on. I had hoped SummerSlam would mark the end of it but it appears it will continue for at least another month. I’ve written several times that both men would benefit from fresh opponents. I still think it.

Del Rio versus a tweener Daniel Bryan could be fun and should provide some excellent matches, while ‘The Celtic Warrior’ would be the ideal opponent for the soon-to-return Wade Barrett. This rivalry has been going for close to half a year and they rarely produce anything other than a satisfactory bout.

While Night of Champions is currently set to see a singles match between ‘The Great White’ and ADR the booking of this week’s SmackDown makes me think ‘The Viper’ will be added to make the match a triple threat. The addition of Randy Orton to proceedings could freshen things up but it won’t take away from the fact that we’ve seen Del Rio and Sheamus clash many times before.

It’s looking as though Orton will be clashing with Dolph Ziggler at some point in the not too distant future but I don’t think it will be at NOC. I think the triple threat idea I more likely. A scenario that sees ‘The Show Off’ cost Orton the match would create a reason for the two to face off at Hell in a Cell in October.

SmackDown boasted some pretty good undercard segments.

Ryback trounced Jinder Mahal. Hopefully that match will mark the end of their dispute. As a short rivalry to give Ryback something to do and bring out a little more of his personality it worked well. He sold a little too much for my liking but working against an unlikeable fella like Mahal has helped him to get over. His various catchphrases are working well for him.

While I didn’t really acknowledge it when tweeting I thought the tag match pitting Epico and Primo against Kofi Kingston and R-Truth was very enjoyable. I hope the rumoured multi-team match at Night of Champions includes both units alongside Justin Gabriel and Tyson Kidd. The Prime Time Players would likely get the final spot but I think it would be better given to the Usos. The PTPs would benefit from having a pay-per-view off and doing a run-in after the match instead.

Santino’s “comedy” promo was given far too much time but the appearance of Antonio Cesaro rescued things. As much as I find Santino irritating I think he’s a great opponent for ‘The Swiss Superman’: because he’s so over audiences sympathise with him, which means they react more to Cesaro’s heelish antics.

As decent as this week’s SmackDown was, it couldn’t compare to a dream about Booker T. Things don’t get much better than that.

Video recapping the events of the Alberto Del Rio v Sheamus feud

Tweet 1: Ooooh... tense stuff at the start. Serious announcer guy recapping the whacky finish to the SummerSlam World title match.
Tweet 2: Del Rio wants answers. Sadly all Booker T has are questions.

Randy Orton promo, featuring Sheamus, Booker T and Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 3: Orton promo. This looks bad. It will sound bad too...
Tweet 4: "My name is Randy Orton." He should have followed that with "But you already know that!"
Tweet 5: Orton is talking about the internet. I think the world may explode.
Tweet 7: Here's Booker. Get ready for some LOLage.
Tweet 8: ADR says the ref robbed him. At this point I'd happily watch a Del Rio v Chioda feud over more of his matches with Sheamus.
Tweet 9: I think Del Rio just said Hooker T.
Tweet 10: The good thing about Booker being GM is that we get to hear his entrance music every week.
Tweet 11: Jazz Mathews.

Ryback v Jinder Mahal

Tweet 12: Ryback, wearing a fresh singlet and entering to new music. Believe it or not he's singing on this track.
Tweet 13: As far as promos go Ryback is a modern day Ultimate Warrior.
Tweet 14: The "Feed me more!" catchphrase is over. The fans love them some Ryback.
Tweet 15: Ryback doesn't march around the ring before hitting his finisher. He wades.

Alicia Fox v Layla

Tweet 16: Alicia Fox gyrating like a stripper in the ring. She's a great role model.
Tweet 17: I like Kaitlyn but she may not have been the best choice of guest commentator for this match.
Tweet 18: "... she deserved to eliminate herself like she did last night in the battle royal" - Kaitlyn, inadvertently admitting SmackDown is taped
Tweet 19: Random Eve appearance. Why not? If they change their minds about the direction of the feud they can forget it happened. Not like this is RAW.

Where are they going with this?

Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero gloat backstage

Tweet 20: Ziggler's backstage at SmackDown. #goodtimes #ShowOff #heelsdoitbetter
Tweet 21: Teddy Long appears. Is he going to make a tag match?
Tweet 22: No, he’s not. He made a non-title Ziggler v Sheamus match for tonight's show. Prediction: Ziggler will lose. There will be no cash-in.
Tweet 23: There will be a fake attempt though.

Sin Cara v Heath Slater

Tweet 24: Cody Rhodes is about to commentate a Sin Cara match. That will be the highlight. Cara is a terrible little botch machine of a wrestler.
Tweet 25: Heath Slater's not much better but at least he's funny.
Tweet 27: "Sin Cara excites the WWE Universe" - Michael Cole, lying
Tweet 28: I hate Sin Cara's 80s style mannerisms.
Tweet 29: Rhodes twists Cara's mask around, blocking his vision and allowing Slater to win.
Tweet 30: Even when the mask is on right Cara's eyes are covered. How does he see? Maybe he's blind and wrestles using sonar. Like a bat.

Dolph Ziggler v Sheamus

Tweet 31: Arrive. Ask "How damn good am I?" Leave.
Tweet 32: Why is Vickie Guerrero on commentary? Why isn't Christian just calling the entire show? Why am I listening to Michael Cole?
Tweet 33: They're not calling the action. Cole is just prattling away about Booker T being GM.
Tweet 34: "Tell us about the public celebration you and Dolph had once Chris Jericho was banished from WWE" - Michael Cole, refusing to call a match
Tweet 36: Here's the teased cash-in I called earlier. This will be a regular feature of WWE television for a while yet.

Dolph Ziggler gives us the first fake cash-in of the night

Santino promo, featuring Antonio Cesaro

Tweet 37: What does it say for SummerSlam that one of its best matches was broadcast on YouTube?
Tweet 38: Santino promos bore me. I want Cesaro to come out and uppercut him.
Tweet 39: Is this the beginning of a Santino v Cobra feud? If it's not it should be.
Tweet 40: I love Cesaro's walk. It's as though he's too burdened with muscles to be able to move properly.
Tweet 41: Yes, it's Antonio Cesaro. Heeey!! #veryEuropean
Tweet 42: Interesting that Santino's right hand is obsessed with Aksana. Says a lot about his love life. #PGera

Kofi Kingston and R-Truth v Epico and Primo

Tweet 43: Darren Young and Titus O'Neil are on commentary. This won't go well...
Tweet 44: At least AW's not around. If he hadn't been fired before he certainly would be after a stint alongside Cole...

This is what people watch SmackDown for

Tweet 45: Titus sounds like he has a mouthful of gravel, treacle and wasps. Who decided to give him a microphone?
Tweet 46: Titus is now doing impressions of Booker T. I didn’t think things could get worse. I was wrong.
Tweet 47: Name of R-Truth's finisher this week: Jimmy Time.

Matt Striker interviews Kingston and Truth backstage before several other teams show up to ruck

Tweet 48: Four teams have shown up backstage to claim a shot at Kingston and Truth. All it did was emphasise how few duos there actually are in WWE.
Tweet 49: Of the teams that were present I'd like to see Gabriel and Kidd face Kingston and Truth at Night of Champions.

Booker T, Eve and Teddy long discuss the tag team division

Tweet 50: Eve has compiled win-loss records for all of those teams. #nerd
Tweet 51: We didn't learn which team has had the most wins. That's because someone in WWE would have actually had to work it out.

Alberto Del Rio v Randy Orton

Tweet 52: The commentator for the main event? Sheamus. WWE seem to have gone out of their way to pick the worst possible people to work with Cole.
Tweet 53: Albertoooooooooo Delllllllllll Riiiiiiiooooooooooo!!
Tweet 54: I wonder how much ADR pays to have those license plates with his logo on them.
Tweet 55: Nothing gets heat from a crowd like slapping your own chest and grimacing.
Tweet 56: I'd love it if Sheamus turned to Cole and said "What makes Del Rio such a tough opponent is that he works stiff."
Tweet 57: Reference to the car hood attack from Cole there. Sheamus didn't acknowledge it, just like he didn't sell the incident when it happened.
Tweet 58: ADR is working the left arm. For some reason this has reminded me Jarrett used to do that in '99. He'd then use a Figure Four as a finish.
Tweet 59: I think that's part of the reason I dislike Jeff Jarrett. Poor psychology.
Tweet 60: Orton tapped to the cross armbreaker? I didn't see THAT coming. How often does 'The Viper' lose clean?
Tweet 61: Hilariously Ricardo is now handing ADR his shoes to be lobbed at Sheamus.
Tweet 62: Sheamus won't sell a car bonnet be closed on his skull but he will sell a shoe to the chest.
Tweet 63: Another fake cash-in? This is getting out of hand. #lazybooking
Tweet 64: RKO to Ziggler. Guess that'll set up a Sheamus and Orton versus Del Rio and Ziggler match for next week.
Tweet 65: If that leads to a Ziggler v Orton singles feud I'll be happy.

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