After a pre-show which saw Stardust beat Zack Ryder and
Daniel Bryan appear on Miz TV to hype his book, Tough Enough and life in general the Elimination Chamber spesh got underway with the tag team championship
Elimination Chamber (the first of its kind, fact fans!). The Ascension and the
Lucha Dragons started the match with a stretch characterised by Cole and JBL
fumbling their way through awkward chatter about the rivalry the teams had in
NXT. The decision to have these four lads kick the match off struck as some
sort of test to see if the audience would break into an NXT chant in a similar
way to how audiences used to when ECW alums wrestled one another. If that was
the case then this crowd failed.
 |
| New Day suck. |
The BTE immediately blasted their way through both teams
with some slick double team moves. Cesaro was like a man possessed, dishing out
uppercuts like they were going out of style before sprinting across the ring
and leaping to the top rope to superplex Kalisto. Moments later he would catch
Kalisto out on the steel and attempt to power bomb him but Kalisto exhibited
canny lad abilities and clung onto the chains of the cage, pulling himself free
and scrabbling up onto the Prime Time Players' pod.
Los Matadores were the fourth team to enter. El Torito,
who'd been maxing and relaxing on top of their pod (because mascots were
allowed, according to JBL) launched himself onto Sin Cara as his boys joined
the fray. Kalisto busied himself with climbing to the top of the cage to
hanging down from the top of the structure before dropping awkwardly onto a
gaggle that included everyone except his partner. This was likely designed to
be a breath-taking daredevil spot. It was not impressive, although it took some
guts and skill to pull off.
El Torito emulated the spot but got caught by The
Ascension. Without their mighty bull protecting them Los Matadores were easy
pickings for a Fall of Man from The Ascension. Thirty seconds later Sin Cara
got one too. Yep, The Ascension got the first and second evictions of the
night. Cole tried to highlight this sudden ability to pin people by shrilly
telling us that it was the best The Ascension have looked in WWE. He wasn't
wrong but all he really accomplished was making it clear how much better they
were used in NXT. Good work, Maggle!
The Prime Time Players' pod opened as Konnor and Viktor
were hammering Cesaro and Kidd. Amazingly, they were permitted to eliminate the
boys from the wasteland with relative ease: Titus grabbed hold of Konnor as
Young gave Viktor a gutbuster and pinned him. Just, as Tommy Cooper would have
said, like that. The PTPs went on to have possibly their best ever match
opposite the BTE. That wasn't a surprise, to be honest. Everyone looks good
with Cesaro and Kidd.
 |
| Better than that Kings' finish where Hero did a pump kick I reckon. |
Reigning champions New Day entered last. All three men
were wrestling as payment for having helped Kane out on the previous episode of
SmackDown. After a brief spurt of dominance the champions were quadruple (or
triple?) suplexed by all four babyface. Cesaro and Kidd shut Xavier Woods back
in his pod and then gave Kofi the big swing-drop kick combo. Then d-Young
reappeared, rolled Cesaro up and got a pin, giving us New Day versus the Prime
Time Players for the match's closing moments.
New Day went into full-on heel mode by sticking Titus's
head through the chain wall. Their attempted triple team of Young didn't work
out for them though: Young fought free of Big E's grip, knocked Kofi and Xavier
off the top rope, and sidestepped a spear from E, sending him careening into a
turnbuckle. After freeing Titus the two took it to New Day for a bit before
getting overwhelmed by the numbers. Big E flattened Young with a belly-to-belly
suplex on the grate then headed back into the ring to chop block Titus as he
hoisted Woods up for a fallaway slam. That sent Titus down to a knee, setting
him up for Trouble in Paradise from Kingston. That was enough to allow Woods to
get the fall and win for his team.
The finish got some well-deserved heat. Although nothing
New Day was illegal because all three members had been permitted into the match
it was very much positioned as an unfair, unsportsmanlike approach. Thus sort
of thing can only help them become more disliked. The only way it could have
been better is if it had featured Cesaro and Kidd or the Dragons in place of
Young and O'Neil. Both teams are more popular than the PTPs so it would have
had more impact. Although I was impressed with how good the Players were made
to look considering they've done nothing since they reunited three-plus months
ago. It could be argued that the PTPs being the ones to be outsmarted and
outgunned by New Day in the closing moments was intended to protect the more popular
teams but that seems unlikely to me: Cesaro fell to a flash pin from Darren
Young and the Dragons went down to a team they've previously handled pretty
easily.
The match was enjoyable. Considering the number of guys
involved it could have easily become an omnishambles so we should all be
pleased it avoided that. There were no truly memorable moments but it was good
fun and a solid advert for tag team wrestling in WWE.
After a recap of Rusev injuring his ankle on SmackDown
and Lana wishing Ziggler good luck in the IC title match we got Nikki Bella's
Divas championship defence against Paige and Naomi. 'King' kicked things off by
openly perving on all three women, making Vince McMahon's (he produces the
commentary crew and is insistent on keeping Lawler involved) views on women's
wrestling crystal clear.
 |
| Spot of the match? Maybe, mate. |
This match was not on the level of Banks v Lynch from
Unstoppable but that wasn't for lack of trying. Although they only got about
six minutes they packed in a lot: a stacked power bomb from the corner; an inverted hurricanrana from Naomi; and Naomi breaking up a PTO attempt
with a nice super kick being amongst the highlights. Had they had longer it's
clear this match would have been great. As it was it was very good. Nikki
retained the title after a Rack Attack. Cole talked up her 189 day reign. I
assume that means they're going to keep it on her a while yet.
Cena versus Owens was preceded by a nice video recapping
their interactions on RAW. The match did the considerable expectations they
were facing justice. Owens screamed at Cena and the crowd throughout,
successfully making himself the bad guy to the majority. The pace was just as
quick as any of Owens' matches against faster foes in NXT and featured all of
the spots you'd want and expect. After setting the pace early on Cena was
dominated for a few minutes.
Things slipped into high gear when Cena kicked out of a
pop-up power bomb. Owens went for a double jump moonsault but Cena avoided it
and got the AA. Owens kicked out and, after a yay-boo trade, floored the United
States champion with a super kick. He attempted to mock Cena with the Five
Knuckle Shuffle but got pulled down into the STF. After he made the ropes Cena
went to reapply the hold but Cena took the chance to escape and used Cena's own
AA to get a two count.
After selling disbelief Owens turned around into a
tornado DDT. That got Cena a two count. So did his never-not-dangerous-looking
top rope leg drop. Cena again went for the AA but couldn't get Owens up for it.
Big Kev took the chance to drop Cena with a package piledriver into a power
bomb. That provided us with another two.
 |
| Cena going down clean as a whistle here. What a time to be alive. |
The two again traded punches. Owens tried a pop-up power
bomb but Cena hit him with a springboard Stunner. With the NXT champ rattled
Cena took things to the top rope only to be surprised with a fisherman buster.
When that didn't finish Cena off Owens pulled out a Swanton bomb. Cena kicked
out of the cover that followed and gave Cena a pair of hard clotheslines. He
went for a third but Owens ducked and caught him with a pop-up power bomb for
the clean as a sheet victory seconds before the twenty minute mark.
This match set out to accomplish a lot. It wanted to
establish Owens as a credible name. It wanted to show Cena can wrestle a highly
touted NXT prospect. It wanted to be a great, classic encounter. It
accomplished it all. Both guys looked great and Owens got a win over a fifteen
time world champion in his main roster debut. WWE couldn't have done better
with this match. Owens got the introduction he deserved.
After that we got a match that would have warranted far
more praise on practically any other WWE show between 'Don't Call Him Adrian'
Neville and Bo Dallas. It did it's job of continuing to build Nev up. He went
over with the Red Arrow as everyone knew he would. After that Triple H found
Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns backstage and told Reigns he was barred from
ringside for the main event. It had been announced that Reigns would be in
Ambrose's corner. Despite this Ambrose just smiled and laughed.
The Intercontinental title Elimination Chamber match
kicked off with Dolph Ziggler and King Bad News Wade Barrett I. They went with
Barrett giving Ziggler a kicking and Ziggler bumping about. He left him to have
a breather on the grate as R-Truth entered the match. Barrett forced him back
into his pod and gave him a pounding then went back to Ziggler instead of
trying to pin him for whatever reason. This allowed Truth to recover to attack
Barrett for a bit. Barrett put him down with Wasteland before returning his
attention to 'The Show Off'.
Barrett threw Ziggler into Mark Henry's pod (he was the
replacement for Rusev), breaking the plexiglass and allowing Henners to wade
into the match. Seconds later Ryback's pod opened and he joined the bout too.
Things got a bit messy at that point. Henry clearly wasn't meant to be in the
match so early which meant he joined Truth in awkwardly standing about.
The first elimination came when Truth hit the Lie
Detector (the name of his finisher this week) on Barrett and pinned him. That
King of the Ring victory continues to be massively confusing. The four faces
talked amongst themselves and exchanged pinfall attempts. There was a brief
alliance against Henry but it didn't last. Ryback would eliminate Truth with a
spinebuster. During all of this Sheamus was meant to be in the match but his
pod door was "stuck". This was revealed to be a swerve after Ziggler
and Ryback wiped one another out during an energetic exchange: he pulled his
naff Celtic cross necklace out of the door's hinges and swaggered out.
Sheamus made quick work of Ziggler by tossing him through
his pod door. Mark Henry fell to a Brogue kick. Shaymo and Ziggler then had a
lively tussle as Ryback lay about at ringside. Ziggler came close to pinning
'Great White' but he would ultimately fall to a Brogue kick. Which left Sheamus
and Ryback to have a hoss fight. They gave each other a good pasting ,
including largely unnecessary White Noise and rolling sentons on the steel
grate, and pulled out a good finish: Ryback power bombed Sheamus from the
outside of the ring, over the top rope, and then scooped him up for a
match-winning Shellshock.
It wasn't as good as the tag team Chamber match nor a
classic of its kind but this match was enjoyable for what it was and avoided
being an embarrassment. Ryback isn't the greatest wrestler on the roster but he
is over. That's what WWE needs at the moment.
 |
| Ambrose went on to do a bit of finger-biting. |
That left only the main event: WWE champion Seth Rollins
defending the title against Dean Ambrose. After a satisfying undercard they had
they work cut out for them but as Owens and Cena had earlier on the show they
met the expectations they'd been given. After a good but unremarkable first
half characterised by interference from J&J and Rollins working over
Ambrose the match came alive when Ambrose fired off some jabs and a swift pin
exchange sequence was launched. J&J pulled their boy to safety but that
wasn't enough to save him from 'The Lunatic Fringe', who was perfectly happy to
launch himself out of the ring with a suicide dive.
Back in the ring Rollins was lamped by the rebound
clothesline. The champ tried a backslide with his feet on the ropes but the ref
caught him. Ambrose got a rollup for two as Rollins shouted at the referee and
then ate a super kick seconds after Rollins had kicked out. They took a tumble
to the outside so that Rollins could power bomb Ambrose into the crowd
barricade. This would only get Seth a two count so he nailed his springboard
knee and an elevated inverted DDT. This also only got him a two count, the
perfect excuse for Rollins to bust out his always enjoyable exasperated face.
Rollins trash talked the challenger for a bit and smacked
him with elbows until Ambrose avoided one and snuck in a tornado DDT. Rollins
escaped Ambrose's rope-hung leg drop. Ambrose sidestepped the springboard knee
and got the rebound clothesline. Rollins kicked out at two. Ambrose racked up
another near fall with the top rope elbow before taking a suicide dive on the
outside and a buckle bomb back in the ring. After taking out J&J and Kane with
a top rope dive Ambrose clotheslined went for the elbow dive again. Rollins
pulled the referee in to absorb some of the blow. Yeah. They did a ref bump.
But it's not the staple it once was so that's okay.
Rollins went for a Pedigree. Mebt use countered, tripping
Rollins and see-sawing him into the corner. Rollins landed on the second rope,
kicked Ambrose to the mat, and tried for the Phoenix splash. Ambrose rolled
away. Rollins in turn landed on his feet only to be spiked with Dirty Deeds. A
new referee dashed down to the ring to count the three. Ambrose's music played.
He was announced as the new champion. Everything was right with the world.
 |
| Two belt thievery angles within months of each other. Shameful. |
It didn't last. The original referee kicked off and said
Rollins was disqualified for dragging him into the path of the lunatic elbow.
Lilian Garcia announced the Dusty finish to boos then J&J, Kane and Rollins
rushed the ring and pummelled Ambrose. That brought out Roman Reigns, his music
causing Rollins to flee into the aisle where he got KOed by 'The Juggernaut'
himself. Reigns and Ambrose then merced all the heels and ran off into the
audience with the championship belt. It wasn't a crowd-pleasing title change
but it was a move that seemed to please the crowd and send them home on a positive
note.
Elimination Chamber was excellent, easily one of the two
best main roster shows of the year along with WrestleMania. Anytime a card is
favourably compared to a good WrestleMania something's gone right. There wasn't
a single bad match here. Rollins v Ambrose and the tag Chamber were both very
good and Cena v Owens was a classic encounter. Every match had a reason to be
happening and delivered on its build-up. This was, basically, WWE doing
everything it could right. If only this happened more often.
***
Results summary:
New Day retained the tag team championship in the
Elimination ChamberNikki Bella defeated Paige and Naomi to retain the Divas championship
Kevin Owens defeated John Cena
Adrian Neville defeated Bo Dallas
Ryback won the the Intercontinental championship in the Elimination Chamber
Dean Ambrose defeated Seth Rollins by disqualification
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