No, your eyes don’t need checking. Hell in a Cell is a
WWE pay-per-view that won’t feature a
John Cena match. This is a rarity, one supposedly brought on by Cena’s slower
than expected recovery from routine elbow surgery. I say supposedly because I’m
not convinced that Cena is unable to wrestle.
Look at it like this: WWE has created a popular new star
in Ryback and want to solidify him as a top card player. The best way of doing
this is having him wrestle the company’s most highly regarded in-ring
performer, WWE champion CM Punk. There is no better way of portraying him as
the company’s number two babyface than to have him fill-in for its number one
babyface.
Perhaps ‘The CeNation Leader’ is genuinely healing
slowly. The rigours of being on the road for years, rehabbing various injuries
every few months may have started taking a toll on his body. I’m not convinced
though. Cena’s slow recovery seems a little too convenient for the rise of
Ryback.
This match will be a big test for both men. For Phil ‘CM
Punk’ Brooks it’s a chance to prove he truly is ‘The Best in the World’ and
carry a notably limited opponent to a passable encounter. Meanwhile the Punk
character needs to leave HIAC with the title in order to continue his quest for
respect and progress to the match with The Rock that was set up at RAW 1000.
For ‘Big Hungry’ it’s a chance to launch himself from the
doldrums of WWE’s bleak middle card zone to the pinnacle of the company. Ending
CM Punk’s eleven month championship reign would solidify him as a bona fide
star in one night and create a number of much-needed fresh booking options for
WWE.
Taking everything into consideration I cannot see ‘The
Human Wrecking Ball’ capturing the WWE championship on this particular occasion.
As noted above Ryback would make an interesting (and welcome) addition to the
existing main event crew but his win would set him on a collision course with
‘The Great One’. That’s not a match I can imagine WWE promoting.
A controversial new look for CM Punk
‘The Voice of the Voiceless’ has to be the favourite to head
into the Rumble as the champion. While it’s possible he could lose the strap
and regain it before then it would make his lengthy run a little pointless and
make his battle with ‘The Brahma Bull’ feel a little less special. It would
also mean giving Ryback a short championship reign, which would harm him long term.
If Ryback were to lose clean it would ruin him at this
point. With the two men meeting inside the Cell booking a finish that keeps the
title on Punk but also protects Ryback will be tricky to book, but not
impossible. Punk could use a chair or other weapon to gain a tainted win.
Presumably Heyman will be at ringside and Cena is likely to make an appearance,
so they could be utilised too.
A scenario that could protect both men would be to have
Ryback power Punk through the cage. That would establish the challenger’s
incredible strength and create a way out (quite literally) for Punk. The match
could end with the champ heading backstage and refusing to compete. Poor finish
to a PPV main event yes, but it would obtain the desired result and protect the
rising star.
Perhaps a better option would be for Punk’s fellow “Paul
Heyman guy” Brock Lesnar to show up, break into the Cell and cost ‘Big Hungry’
the gold. That would not only be a convincing way of having Ryback lose but it
would also set up a future clash between Ryback and ‘The Pain’. Handled
correctly that could be a big draw for Survivor Series, Royal Rumble or
WrestleMania XXIX.
However they do it I’m sure Punk will leave as champion.
The quality of the match and how the finish goes down is where I’m less clear.
The company’s other world title will also be defended at
Hell in a Cell, but not inside the cage. Yes, it’s the first official
confrontation between Sheamus and Big Show. That ‘The World’s Largest Athlete’
has been placed into this match despite having failed to capture the WWE
championship over the summer illustrates how shallow the main event bracket is.
It also illustrates that management are not as serious as
they should be about elevating new stars. Wade Barrett would have been an ideal
PPV opponent for ‘The Celtic Warrior’, as their recent outings on RAW and
SmackDown prove.
Sheamus v Big Show could be entertaining but I’m not
going to get my hopes up. Both men are okay as characters, but Sheamus works
far better when facing smaller grapplers or brawlers of his own size. Big Show
is a lump who would be of more use to the company as a babyface.
I don’t think Show will be leaving as champ. ‘Great
White’ will overcome the “overwhelming” (listen out for that word during the
broadcast) odds which have been established (Show having a more powerful
finisher, for example) and topple the giant. As Sheamus has had the belt for
over six months now and I’m beginning to think that a change is coming, so I
wouldn’t be surprised if Dolph Ziggler cashed in his briefcase and left as the
new World Heavyweight champ.
If Show struggles to his feet and immediately starts
battering Sheamus after doing the job you’ll know to expect ‘The Show Off’.
Making a cash-in slightly more likely is the fact that Ziggler is not booked to
appear on the show. As one of the few stars WWE seems to be dedicated to
helping I’m fairly sure he’ll be appearing.
The once meaningful Intercontinental championship will be
defended on the show too. The title is most commonly used these days for
provoking cheap pops on landmark episodes of WWE programming. See Kofi
Kingston's victory over The Miz on Main Event, and 'The Awesome One's' defeat
of Christian on RAW 1000.
Kofi only began his fourth reign a couple of weeks ago so I don't expect him to
lose it so soon, especially to the man he took it from. If this bout is
allocated enough time I think it could be the best technical outing on the
card. Hopefully time will be on their side.
Kofi has headed up WWE’s tag team division for over a
year. With his partnership with R-Truth now consigned to the history books now
feels like a good time to award him a serious singles push again. Kingston is
an ideal candidate to build the mid-card division around. Getting the title
onto him is a good first step. Calling up some fresh talent would be a good
second.
Speaking of the tag team titles: the surprisingly entertaining, not to mention
over, Team Hell No will defend the WWE tag team championship against the Rhodes
Scholars. Sandow and Rhodes are clearly the best choice of team to oppose Bryan
and Kane. They are established antagonists and great wrestlers. Expect to see
them isolate Bryan, allowing 'Goatface' to work the majority of the match for
his team.
Will that lead to a hot tag and a Kane-gained victory or will the Scholars
successfully wear Bryan down and become the new champions? Tough call. On the
one hand Team Hell No are such a popular act that WWE would be foolish to make
any big changes to them just yet. On the other the dysfunctional duo, being (sort
of) goodies, may work better if chasing a heel tandem for the gold.
As they've only had the straps for a month I'm going to predict a victory for
Team Hell No. Perhaps the Rhodes Scholars will get a rematch at Survivor
Series. Or perhaps the Prime Time Players will get back into the title hunt.
The PTPs looked like the favourites to dethrone Kingston and Truth before Bryan
and Kane proved a hit. That WWE spent so long building them up as a team to be
reckoned with means they'll probably get their turn at some point. HIAC was
originally to have seen the Players facing Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara,
presumably after costing them the tournament finals on RAW. It seems as though
Mysterio's undisclosed stomach problems (maybe he's got what Matt Hardy had
around the time he was in TNA) have put a stop to that.
This week’s SmackDown taping saw a Divas title match
added to the show. Eve will defend against Layla and Kaitlyn. The story that’s
been running since Night of Champions hasn’t been in vain after all! Missed it?
Basically Kaitlyn was scheduled to challenge for the pink belt at NOC but was
attacked by a mystery assailant. Eve took her place, became the new champion,
and has been accused of being the mystery assailant ever since.
The drama!
A title change strikes me as unlikely. I think a swerve
turn from Kaitlyn is a greater possibility. The programme has been trundling
towards this inevitable three-way for six weeks Something unexpected needs to
happen to keep it fresh. Maybe Kaitlyn and Eve have been in cahoots all along, cooking
up this deplorable scheme because they dislike Layla. I wouldn’t blame them if
that were the case.
On a side note, what does it say about the pay scale in
the Divas division when the champion has to work a second job as a PA?
The final match announced for the pay-per-view is Alberto Del Rio v Randy
Orton. I have been calling for a fresh opponent for 'The Essence of Excellence'
for months now and I'm pleased he finally has one. That said I'm still not
especially interested in the match.
The feud doesn't seem to be about
anything. There is no reason for ADR and 'The Viper' to clash beyond the fact
that neither has anything better to do. Del Rio constantly referring to Orton
as a "little snake" hasn’t helped matters. It has only served to make
a boring rivalry silly too.
I'm hopeful that once they lock up my attitude will change. Both men are very
good in the ring and if they tell an interesting enough story (which again
relies on time as much as anything else) then the lack of a compelling issue
between them won't really be an factor.
With an Orton heel turn happening at any moment I suspect he'll win to be kept
strong for his renewed push as a bad guy. Should the two tangle in another
singles match at Survivor Series ADR can be given his win back then. Should the
office think he needs it that is.
There are plenty of options for last minute additions to the show. As noted
above Dolph Ziggler doesn't have a match. Neither do popular acts such as
Santino, Zack Ryder and Brodus Clay. Wade Barrett would benefit from an
appearance too, considering his recent well received outings against World
champ Sheamus. A United States title defence by Antonio Cesaro could by good
too, especially if it were preceded by one of his anti-US vignettes.
The Hell in a Cell pay-per-view doesn't look bad on paper but, as with last year's event, it does highlight the fact that the structure is best used only
when needed rather than having it on a show because marketing dictates it must
be so. Ryback v Punk doesn't need the Cell in order to draw money or appeal to
fans. If anything the cage will prove a hindrance. Here's hoping that the show
name is retired next year and the Cell goes back to being a rare treat used to
finish off only the bitterest feuds.
Predictions
summary:
CM Punk to defeat
Ryback
Sheamus to defeat
Big Show
Team Hell No to
defeat the Rhodes Scholars
Kofi Kingston to
defeat The Miz
Randy Orton to
defeat Alberto Del Rio
Eve to defeat Layla
and Kaitlyn