Wednesday 2 January 2013

Wrestling Resolutions

We're two days into the New Year but it’s still not too late to make some New Year resolutions. With that thought in mind I've taken the liberty of suggesting a few resolutions for prominent wrestling personalities (although in truth many are thoughts more than suggestions). Read on.
* Don't rush into marriage with your next girlfriend – Ric Flair
* Try to come up with a more stereotypically Irish word, fella – Sheamus
* Quote Proust in a promo – Damien Sandow

* Try to be less creepy when dancing with children – Brodus Clay
* Learn to walk convincingly – The Great Khali
* Go back to planning weddings – Alicia Fox
* Talk about prestige again – Davey Richards

* Wrestle less, commentate more – Steve Corino
* Remember how long you’ve been in ROH – Jay Briscoe
* Get a sponsor for your mouth guard – Kyle O’Reilly
* Accept you will never be The Man in TNA – AJ Styles

* Delete your Twitter account – Kurt Angle

He looks strange with a beard

* Improve… Simply improve – Crimson
* Hope that Brooke Hogan suddenly becomes a method actress – Bully Ray
* Revive Smokey Mountain Wrestling and book 70s style rasslin' to your heart's content – Jim Cornette

* Hope TNA signs Rhet Tittus – Kenny King
* Hope ROH re-signs Kenny King – Rhett Titus
* Grow a proper mullet – Michael Elgin
* Resist the urge to book yourself as TNA world champion – Hulk Hogan

* Write a novel on your face using paint – Jeff Hardy
* Drop the Kid from your ring name – Kid Kash
* Start wrestling! – King Mo
* Get a contract release and go to Dragon Gate USA – Samoa Joe
* Change your gimmick to that of a preppy student – Robbie E
* Reconsider your plan to release a single – Zack Ryder
* Refer to yourself in the third person again – The Rock
* Drop the interview segment – Miz

* Pretend you're a shark – Mark Henry
* Keep growing your hair, it looks great! – Daniel Bryan
* Go on a diet – Ryback

* Give up – John Cena

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