Fantasy Booker: Edge's First World Championship

On January 8 2006 Edge defeated John Cena to win his first WWE championship. On January 29 2006, just three weeks later, he lost the title back to Cena. Sandwiched between these two matches with Cena was a TLC match opposite Ric Flair which was rather good despite being a crazy booking decision.

This three week reign with only one successful title defence was the culmination of a story that had started in the autumn of 2004. Edge had become increasingly bitter about his status within the company and his lack of world championship opportunities at the expense of the "old guard" lads like Triple H and Shawn Michaels. Despite these perfectly legitimate complaints (he really had been marginalised both in storyline and in reality) fans turned on him.

That an eighteen month build ended with a three week title reign that did nothing to elevate Edge was frustrating. It was made more frustrating by the fact that the RAW after Edge's title victory got the show's highest ratings in years. People were interested in Edge as champion. WWE did nothing to encourage people to stick with the product, a disservice to themselves and their newly crowned champion.

'The Rated R Champion'. Boom!

Things should have been different. Edge had been a presence on WWE television since 1998. For all of that time he had been presented as a future main event star. His first world title victory and reign should have been presented as a far bigger deal. WWE got it right with the booking of Edge's win over Cena and with his "live sex celebration" with Lita the next night on RAW (they rolled around in a bed set up in the ring) but faltered by continuing his uninspiring feud with Ric Flair and giving him only three weeks as champion.

So I thought it would be nice to kick back in the ol' armchair for a brief spot of fantasy booking. Here's what I'd have done...

The January 9 edition of RAW would have featured the "sex celebration" as was, because it was amusing, got over Edge's scumbag character perfectly, and helped to attract a strong rating. Usually I don't keep things that actually happened when I'm writing these fantasy booking things but let's just assume that whoever suggested it would still have suggested it, eh?

Although I've criticised the decision to continue Edge's feud with 'The Nature Boy' I'd do the exact same thing. The difference is that I wouldn't be planning to take the belt off of Edge so quickly, meaning that his bout with Flair wouldn't be the only successful defence he'd make. I'd have Flair, as he did in reality, knock Edge for conduct unbecoming of a champion¹ and set up a Tables, Ladders and Chairs match for the following week's RAW. Naturally that would be won by Edge.

The pre-Rumble RAW would be all about hyping up the Edge-Cena rematch and the Rumble itself would be where I'd finally diverge from reality. Edge would successfully defend the gold against 'The Franchise', but he'd do it via some shady, heelish tactics. I would want to build Edge up as a crafty, cowardly heel who'd win at any cost, a man desperate to keep the world championship he's worked so hard and waited so long for. Because, well, that would have actually made sense considering the story arc he'd been on for the preceding eighteen months.

Let's say Edge would have won with a belt shot to the head of Cena while Lita distracted the referee. That would get over Edge's character, make use of Lita, protect Cena (still a fairly legitimate concern at this point as he'd only been granted his top guy push in the spring of 2005), and create reason for a rematch. Elsewhere on the show Rey Mysterio would still win the Rumble only he'd do so by last eliminating Shawn Michaels (instead of real life finalist Triple H), with HBK overcoming Vince McMahon flavoured interference throughout the match². Mysterio would go on to challenge for SmackDown's World Heavyweight championship at 'Mania.

The third Edge-Cena match of the series would take place on an episode of RAW between the Rumble and WrestleMania 22, because at this point WWE was doing the branded pay-per-views ting and February's No Way Out was a SmackDown show. In the lead up to this the Cena and Edge programme would begin to crossover with the Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon programme. Michaels would confront Edge about not having proven himself capable of beating Cena fairly. Cena, the valiant babyface, would thank Michaels but tell him he can speak for himself (tension!). McMahon would interject to endorse Edge as company figurehead and champion and make some claim along the lines of "Edge is ten times the champion Shawn Michaels ever was." The idea would be to keep each feud a separate entity but begin teasing the possibility of Michaels v Cena and Michaels v Edge.

Being the blow off to the rivalry, and coming after two regular rules matches between the two, the hyped-up-RAW match would need to have a stipulation. Last Man Standing would work. Cena's good in those. A cage would work too. Let's say it would have been a cage match (I can't bring myself to break Cena's LSM streak, even in a fantasy booking scenario set a decade in the past). Cena and Edge could probably do something good in a cage, and they'd have Lita at ringside to throw a chair or two in if needed.

Edge wins lol.

More importantly they'd have Lita to pull a chain and padlock form under the ring and lock the door shut as Cena tries to escape. With Cena arguing with the referee about getting the door opened, possibly even going so far as to try and wrench the door off its hinges (because Super Cena™), the champ would try sneaking over the top of the cage. Cena would spot him, grab him, and pull him back into the ring for an AA. During this sequence Lita would unlock the padlock and scrabble into the ring to grab Cena by the leg as he tried to climb out (with the commentators making it clear Cena still thought the door was locked). Edge would then crawl through the open doorway and slump down to the mats to win.

A cheap, convoluted finish. Using a woman, no less! Outrageous! Exactly the sort of thing a cowardly champion would dream up.

Also on this specially hyped episode of RAW would be Shawn Michaels versus Vince McMahon in a street fight, with the stipulation that Michaels would get a WWE title match at WrestleMania if he won and renounce God if he lost (which isn't my idea of a great stipulation but would fit nicely with the existing themes attached to their feud). Naturally Michaels would win, setting up 'The Rated R Superstar' versus 'The Heartbreak Kid' for WrestleMania.

Edge would successfully retain in this match too, though Lita's influence would be less pronounced. She'd interfere throughout the first half of the match and get wiped out by a Sweet Chin Music aimed at Edge (who'd move, obvs). Just to be clear, I'm not a big fan of man-on-woman violence in wrestling (or out of it for that matter) but used sparingly it can be impactful. WrestleMania is exactly the sort of show that can benefit from a rare spot and Lita is the sort of woman who should be involved in this sort of thing: she had massive heat at this point, making the spot count for more.

After Lita's elimination Edge would kick out of a Sweet Chin Music. Michaels would kick out of a spear and the lifting DDT Edge had used earlier in his career and ascribed about four different names too. Edge would avoid another SCM (assuming he'd have taken one before Lita went backstage, meaning he'd taken two in total) and hit Michaels with a spear for the win. This would hopefully carry enough credibility for a WWE championship match on 'The Showcase of the Immortals' but keep Edge's cowardly streak alive by again featuring heavy interference from Lita.

Backlash would be the traditional WrestleMania rematch, giving us another Michaels v Edge exchange. This would be a Last Man Standing match with more interference and shenanigans than the WrestleMania match. The finish would see Lita distract Michaels, allowing Edge to sneak in with a spear and half a dozen chair shots to the back. He'd then finish the challenger off with a Conchairto.

Only Cena could do this justice.

All of which brings me to the problem of fantasy booking something like this: at some point you have to acknowledge One Night Stand. WWE's second ECW reunion show was used as launching pad for the ill-fated ECW "brand" and was built around Rob Van Dam cashing in his Money in the Bank title shot against John Cena. Having the title on Edge for that show would produce a better quality match but that misses much of the point of the exercise. One Night Stand needed the spectacle of John Cena, the most WWE guy on the roster, facing the personification of ECW, Rob Van Dam. Only Cena and RVD could produce that main event atmosphere that was needed.

Cena would need to win the title back from Edge so that feud would be reignited. But, because it would have only been wrapped up a couple of months earlier, it would need to happen in a spur-of-the-moment kind of way, setting up and having the match in one night. So Cena would interrupt a show-opening promo from Edge, remind him that he never beat him in a fair one-on-one match, and goad him into a title match in the main event.

Edge would drop the belt to Cena. Cena, the newly crowned two-time champ, would then be confronted by Rob Van Dam. We'd get the RVD v Cena at One Night Stand match and Van Dam would leave as champion. Edge would have had the inaugural world title reign he deserved (or at least something closer to it than he got in reality). And when Van Dam failed the drugs test we'd be in a great position to keep people guessing as to who'd replace him as champion: Edge or Cena.

There we go. Better than reality.

***

¹ Yes, Ric Flair, the limosine-riding, jet-flying, kiss-stealing, wheeling-dealing sonnovagun, actually accused Edge of not behaving like a true world champion because he was celebrating his world title win by rolling around in bed with a hot woman. The hypocrisy of this is baffling: it's hard to imagine a segment more geared towards 'Naitch' in his prime than Edge's "live sex celebration."

² Michaels and Vince had been feuding since December 2005 after Vince had taken it upon himself to mock Michaels Christian beliefs. In reality Michaels defeated Vince in a no holds barred match at 'Mania 22. Vince would team with his son Shane to face Michaels and God³ at Backlash. Vince and Shane won that one⁴.

³ Yes, really.

⁴ If it surprises you that Vince McMahon, the owner of the company, would book himself to not only face but defeat God in a wrestling match then you're clearly not very familiar with him. "Eccentric" does not do him justice.

Corporate Image

When the current Corporation story-slash-Triple H and Randy Orton heel turn started I was reluctant to join what seemed to be a large number of people saying that it’s a rerun of the, very successful, Austin v McMahon feud. For starters it doesn’t really matter if elements of the more successful plot crop up. It ended fourteen years ago. There are sufficient viewers regularly tuning in who can see this programme through entirely fresh eyes. Ad there’s nothing wrong with emulating successes, especially your own.

More to the point the original cries of a rerun seemed to be based exclusively on Daniel Bryan being pitted against a united McMahon family. For me that’s not grounds enough to compare storylines, or Bryan and Austin for that matter. Plenty of wrestlers have been in that situation.

As the story has developed things have happened that have made it harder to distance it from the original Corporation tale. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As I’ve already pointed out the original was a hit. Writing this isn’t intended as a knock or a complaint, more an opportunity for me to empty my mind on the subject of comparing the two Corporation factions.

 

Finally an excuse to use a picture of the original Corporation line-up!

 

One of the more obvious similarities is one that a lot of people seem to have overlooked. Both groups involved Triple H. In the current incarnation ‘The Game’ is very obviously at the centre of the plot, in the role previously occupied by Mr McMahon in 1998 and ’99. Vince, for his part, has drifted off into the ether (for now) to allow Trips to establish himself as the leading on-screen bad guy.

He was a late recruit to the original Corporation. He turned on his pal X Pac at WrestleMania XV, which marked the beginning of his journey to the very top of the card. He was overshadowed by The Rock for his first month in the group and barely got a chance to shine once ‘The Great One’ left the group before it was unified with The Ministry of Darkness and he was left playing second fiddle to The Undertaker. It’s easy to forget his involvement, but it was a significant part of his career.

The Shield are obvious equivalents of Big Boss Man. The way they’ve been tasked with guarding the ring since Helmsley went bad indicates that they have some sort of authority over security staff at venues. That was always the (hilarious) conceit with Boss Man. Apparently working as a prison guard in Cobb County, by God, Georgia prepared him for such a role.

Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns also vaguely, although not as clearly, also fill the same roles as Ken Shamrock and Test used to. They were and are all guys who can perform run-ins and work as bump fodder for the bigger names. Between the three of them they also hold a singles title and the tag straps, just like BBM and Shamrock did.

Another aspect of the original that seems to have been forgotten is Kane’s involvement. He was blackmailed into doing the bidding of his bosses with threats of being institutionalised¹. Does that or does that not sound incredibly similar to Big Show’s current plight?

Beyond the fact that both oppose the real life and on-screen bosses of the company there are no glaring similarities between Austin and Bryan. They’re very different personalities and wrestle very different styles. And as much as I like ‘The Dazzler’ he’s no ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin. ‘The Rattlesnake’ was a major part of creating WWE’s most successful period ever. Bryan is more simply a currently popular wrestler who may or may not work out as a long term headline attraction.

I’ll stop short of saying that Steph’s in the Shane McMahon role. Firstly it’s not an entirely accurate comparison. Secondly the relationship she shares with the Vince analogue and the original Vince and Shane relationship are very different things.

***

¹ This was at a time when ‘The Big Red Machine’s’ character was far less relatable and fleshed-out, and at a time when WWE were happy to run stories like that.