TNA Impact Wrestling 07.01.15 review

The live debut of Impact Wrestling on Destination America brought one of the company’s hottest ever storylines to a close: whether or not it could continue to exist without long-time partner Spike TV being involved. It’s a shame that this was the biggest talking point about TNA for the latter half of 2014. Despite its well-documented financial struggles the promotion has retained a good core roster and arguably puts more effort into creating varied characters than WWE does. Where the company has failed for years is in its writing.

The move to Destination America may have overshadowed anything good TNA tried or accomplished in 2014 but it also presented them with a second chance. A live launch episode was not the simplest or smoothest way for them to debut on the network but it did ensure they didn’t have to worry about spoilers and also encouraged people to tune in live.

The show opened with cinematic shots of the roster getting ready for matches. Some shots were more dramatic than others. Aries putting on some sunglasses and The Wolves getting into a lift were not exactly thrilling, for example. Nor was Jeff Hardy wandering around a hotel in full face paint, although that did at least provide a laugh. Lashley doing his ring pose at a hotel window was odd but probably more the sort of thing any new viewers were expecting to see. The speeches from Bobby Roode, MVP and Storm to their factions (or in Roode’s case, the general locker room) were good and the faces versus heels fight outside the Manhattan Centre, while like something from a 90s X-Men cartoon, did at least create a nice visual and get the show started with a bang.

So in other words the opening moments were a mixed bag. Classic TNA, really.

The brawl that started on the street spilled into the arena as the show began. Taz and new commentator Josh Mathews talked it up as mayhem, and they had plenty of time to do so as it went on for an age. Eventually Kurt Angle came out (in jeans and a shirt, a move designed to hide his more slender than ever frame) and reminded everyone they were in New York watching Impact. Getting into the ring he announced that all champions would defend their titles. He opted not to reveal who they’d face. That struck me as a poor move. Announcing Aries and The Wolves for matches on the show might have provided reasons for people to stick with the programme instead of turning over.

Angle said he had one more announcement but before he could make it he was interrupted by MVP. After reminding everyone Angle had hit him over on Spike he tried to goad him into doing it again. Angle took some abuse then revealed that he'd stepped down from his job as gimmick matchmaker to become an active wrestler again, his last act being to structure the opening Destination America card. Which, let's not forget, he'd done a poor job of as wrestlers were finding out they were had matches to prepare for live on air.

The final match he booked was himself and MVP in a street fight. He threw a punch and then clotheslined MVP out of the ring to get that going. In typical Impact fashion they cut to a break seconds into the first match of the night.

It's depressing to see Kurt looking like this.

Mike Victor Papa controlled most of the match, which featured surprisingly little brawling. They went outside of the ring a few times but didn't really do much else with the street fight stip. MVP reversed out of the ankle lock twice then went for a Drive-By kick in the corner. ‘The Cyborg’ scooted out of the way and got the Angle slam to win.

The company's champions were shown backstage getting ready for their matches. Then MVP was shown screaming at Kenny King for not helping him win his match with Angle. Kenny’s excuse was that he’d been with “an incredible” girl. MVP left to remind Lashley that it was him who’d got Lashley the world championship in the first place.

Josh and Taz introduced themselves again. Taz was referred to as a three time world champ. Two of those reigns were with the ECW world championship. He never won a world title anywhere else, so the third reign is presumably a reference to the FTW championship he had in ECW. I suspect Taz may have produced this link. Camera shots of the locker room and the Gorilla position were shown. Cameras being in invasive places backstage is TNA's latest revolutionary idea that will get them nowhere. It’s like GTV but without the humour.

Crazzy Steve was shown backstage for no reason then Ethan Carter III and his bodyguard Tyrus (formerly big, bad Brodus Clay) rocked up to interrupt. And by interrupt I do of course mean feature in a segment they were always going to get over someone like Crazzy Steve (who can’t even spell “crazy”).  EC£ reminded us of his fifteen month undefeated streak, which includes two months where TNA was inactive, then sent Tyrus off to find Rockstar Spud, whom he’d been feuding with on Spike TV.

Mike Tenay plugged Impact Wrestling: Unlocked, his new Destination America show, then introduced a pre-recorded interview he'd conducted with James Storm. Storm felt he'd been held down by management for years, so he’d formed The Revolution to take what he was entitled to. Sanada, Manik and Abyss had apparently come to him because they’re aware of how much truth Storm speaks. He ended by saying that he and his gang aren't interested in titles, they want blood. He then implied he's the Devil and walked off.

There was a lot to dislike with this. It was poor material delivered poorly. Storm also continues to be a very clear rip off of the more successful and far more interesting Bray Wyatt character. He’s not been poorly cast as a cult leader, and the Revolution have been built up well, but it will always be a group hampered by comparisons to a better gimmick in a better company. I wasn’t a fan of Storm contradicting himself either: he’s formed the group to take what he’s entitled to but all he wants is blood? That only makes sense if you deliberately misinterpret what he said and take a fundamentally wrong approach to grammar.

The episode’s second match saw Storm and Abyss team to defend the TNA tag team titles against The Wolves. Richards and Edwards have apparently gotten themselves matching tattoos, which look awful. For their sake I hope they’re transfers or body paint or something. Matt and Jeff Hardy watched the match from ringside, but they need to be on the show somewhere, right? On a side note I’d like to point out that Matt was wearing his own gimmick shirt and Jeff was in a vest.

The Wolves were on proverbial fire to start, hitting four sets of double dives on the champs and setting up for a double team move. Abyss pulled Davey out of the ring before they could connect with it and choke slammed him on the apron, with Storm throwing Eddie out of the ring. The Wolves quickly regained the advantage, getting two counts off a double stomp on ‘The Cowboy’ and some kicks (there are always kicks) on ‘The Monster’. The champs got a two count of their own from a slingshot and DDT combo.

Eventually Manik and Sanada slid into the ring. That prompted the Hardys to do the same. Because they're stand-up, fightin' babyfaces. Jeff accidentally elbowed Eddie in the head as he tried to grab a noose from abyss (yeah, a noose with a cowbell tied to it is a signature object). Storm immediately super kicked Eddie and covered him for the win. It wasn’t the greatest tag match ever but it was nice to see one that didn’t feature a babyface being worked over endlessly.

After some clips reminding us of the first Roode v Lashley match (Lashley won), EC3 telling us to “come hither" as he wandered aimlessly through generic corridors, and a recap of the opening of the show, MVP was shown getting his shout on with Lashley. He reminded the former champ it was him who’d brought into TNA and it was also him that had orchestrated his initial title victory. Lashley pushed him against a wall and said he was getting his title back, the implication being that he was tired of MVP’s boisterous shoutiness. MVP and King huffed off.

Back in the ring Jeremy Borash had appeared. He hyped up bringing someone out for an interview. Instead EC3 appeared to say he'd win the TNA title in 2015 and mock JB a bit. After initially receiving heavy boos the audience split on him, alternating between chants of “You can't wrestle!” and “Yes he can!”

This makes JB a face in my book.

‘Wrestling’ Greatest Hero’ called out Spud. Spud did not appear. Carter chatted a bit more and then revealed that Tyrus had found and attacked Spud and had Spud carried to the ring. EC3 then announced his plans to scalp Spud. Which is pretty full on for a wrestling show, assuming they understand what scalping actually is. Borash told Carter he'd done enough and slapped him. Then he was jobbed out by Tyrus and had his head shaved (which is not scalping) by EC3. Spud recovered from his beating and cried. Because he and JB and good mates backstage.

We were treated to another shot of MVP and King backstage. King was outraged that Lashley had touched ‘Mr 305’. MVP made some placatory noises that I couldn't understand because of poor audio quality. Presumably he was saying he had a plan. Whatever he said it seemed to get King to simmer down. The pair then walked off down one of the Manhattan Centres many generic corridors.

After a recap of Roode v Lashley II (Roode won) and a highlight video designed to introduce the concept of the X Division (it did a decent job but reminded me how badly the X Division’s been handled over the last five-plus years) Low Ki hit the ring to defend the X strap against Austin Aries. They had a good match but it wasn't as memorable as might have been expected considering the abilities of both men. They included their signature moves and spots but refrained from anything more inventive. 'A Double' won the match and the gold with a brainbuster.

Before Taryn Terrell defended her Knockouts title in a battle royal DJ Z welcomed Robbie E back to TNA. He blamed his loss on The Amazing Race (a reality show that aired in the US) on his ex-girlfriend Brooke Tessmacher. Then Taryn came out and he had to stop talking. I wish he'd had longer because what followed was not good. The crowd weren't interested, there were too many people involved for any psychology to be used, and nothing interesting happened. Taryn retained by last eliminating Havok, just as Havok eliminated Gail Kim.

After the match Havok smacked Taryn about because she's a monster heel and that's what monster heels do. The lights cut out for a few moments and when they came back on Awesome Kong was in the ring. She got a better reaction than anyone else involved in the Knockouts segment. Kong and Havok squared off before Havok left without actually doing anything. Then a referee got in Kong's face for literally no other reason than to give Kong an excuse to choke slam him.

After that it was main event time, Bobby Roode defending the TNA world heavyweight championship against former champion Lashley. It was an adequate match, competent enough to avoid being bad but wholly unspectacular. After a fiery start they broke into some ringside stalling then some light brawling. The highlight of the first five minutes was probably Roode attempting the Crippler Crossface numerous times.

Backstage MVP and king were shown trying to enter the arena with two lads in clown masks, giving me flashbacks to Homicide and Eddie Kingston as Outlaw Inc. Security told them they were not allowed into the arena during the title match. The masked lads beat security up and then they all walked off, King and MVP having a good laugh. Because there’s nothing funnier than beating up security guards, am I right?

Back in the ring Lashley and Roode picked up the pace with flapjacks, clotheslines, a Lashley running power slam, and a Roode spinebuster. Roode got a power bomb out of the corner but Lashers kicked out and gave Roode a Roode bomb. Roode sidestepped a spear from the challenger and then hit one of his own. Because nothing says big match like using your foe's moves.

As MVP and his lads appeared at ringside Roode applied a crossface again. Lashley stood up in the hold, confirming that he’s willing to be TNA’s answer to John Cena if TNA are up for it, but Roode quickly released the hold and hit him with a Roode bomb. When Lashley kicked out the champ applied the hold again. Kenny King pulled the referee out of the ring and punched him to the ground. Angle came out to make the save but he got taken out by all four of the heels. They then surrounded the ring preparing to attack Roode, who was alone as Lashley lay unconscious in a corner. The masks were taken off to reveal Low Ki and Samoa Joe.

The new champ is confused. Guess you'll want to tune in next week, eh?

The swerves kept coming after that as Eric Young dashed to the ring clutching a chair, chasing MVP, King, Joe and Ki off before hitting Roode, his storyline bestie, with the chair. Lashley then speared Roode for the win and the championship. MVP and his lads celebrated. The new champ looked miffed. And that was how the inaugural Destination America Impact Wrestling episode closed.

It was a show obviously designed to hook us and ensure a return visit for the following episode. In that regard it did a good job. In addition to the announced Wolves v Hardys match, which has the potential to be very good, there’s the reveal of Eric Young, Samoa Joe’s and Low Ki’s motives for joining up with MVP and discovering whether Lashley agreed to their involvement in his title match. Discounting the ease with which spoilers can be found I think that’s a pretty good attempt by TNA to start things off on the right foot.

I’m concerned for the group in the long term though. Over the last few years TNA has proven fairly adept at being able to come up with decent (no not great, decent) angles that could improve the quality of their programming and encourage increases in viewership. Their trouble has always been following up on these angles. They tend to cut things short if they don’t immediately get people excited or simply mishandle them from the start. What they produced on January 7 has potential but the track record of the company indicates that they’ll fritter it away within weeks.

It was also disheartening to see the same approach to production was taken. There were few concessions made for new viewers. Very little information was provided about the stars we were seeing. Their motivations and pasts in the company could have been covered by Taz and Mathews on commentary or in specially produced videos in between matches. They had the time, as evidenced by the numerous backstage scenes featuring guys who also got time to talk in the ring. Perhaps such videos will appear in the coming weeks, but the debut episode was the logical place to put them.

Overall it wasn’t a bad show. But it was nothing incredible either. As a long-time wrestling fan familiar with TNA’s struggles and product it did nothing to encourage me to actually watch future shows as opposed to reading spoilers and searching out bits I find interesting. I wouldn’t call the show a failure, but I wouldn’t call it a success either. In other words business as usual for TNA.

***

Results summary:

Kurt Angle def MVP
James Storm and Abyss def The Wolves
Austin Aries def Low Ki to win the X Division championship
Taryn Terrell retained the Knockouts championship in a battle royal
Lashley def Bobby Roode to win the TNA world championship

TNA Bound For Glory 2014 review

It’s tough to know where to begin with the 2014 Bound For Glory show. So tough, in fact, that it’s taken me several weeks to get around to writing about it. The event has historically been promoted as TNA’s premiere event. Technically that didn’t change this year, but there were so many idiosyncrasies and caveats attached to the claim that it was tough to view it as the major event we were supposed to.

First of all there was the decision to promote the show in Japan. On the one hand, yes, Japan is a country in which professional wrestling is an accepted and relatively popular thing. Presumably TNA has some level of following there as they have a TV presence and managed to sell tickets. But it wasn’t a sell-out. In fact, it very visibly wasn’t a sell-out. There were seats available with decent proximity to the ring, which did not help the show seem like the major occurrence we were told it was or, more broadly, TNA look like a company that has a future. Any future.

Then there was the distinctly odd decision to omit many of the regulars. To an extent I can understand this. For example, Jeff Hardy is a very popular wrestler and I imagine the popularity extends to a certain type of Japanese fan, but his criminal record makes entry to the country troublesome at best and impossible at worst. So I can understand TNA not using him on the show.

I could understand Austin Aries or The Wolves or Bobby Roode or Lashley or Eric Young not finding themselves booked too. After all, even the biggest show of the year can’t necessarily feature everyone. But for all of those names to be missing is an absurdity. They are amongst TNA’s biggest names. In fact the only TNA roster members of note that were booked for the show were EC3, MVP, James Storm, Bully Ray and Samoa Joe. Everyone else either plays a minor role or was a guest performer.

That there were so many omissions from TNA’s line-up made the show feel more like a house show than the biggest event of the year (which, let’s not forget, it was meant to be). This is not a complaint about the Wrestle-1 performers who fleshed out the show. For the most part they did what they could. But realistically that was never going to be enough because the wrestlers mean very little within the context of TNA.

An extension of that omission point was that TNA failed to feature their world heavyweight champion. Okay, so Bobby Roode had defeated Lashley for the championship at a TV taping which hadn’t aired at the time of BFG. It’s a problem but a minor one, and certainly not something that couldn’t be sorted out with ease. Lashley could have been booked for the show and walked out with the belt, for example. If it’s true that Lashley was unavailable because of commitments to bargain bin MMA league Bellator then Roode could have appeared as champion and Tenay could have acknowledged the tape delay. Or, here’s a simpler idea still, TNA could have gotten their act together months earlier and planned their biggest show of the year, and the run up to it, well enough to have their top championship on a performer who was able to appear and their TV product sufficiently up to date.

As it was the two men possible to view as the current champion were both omitted. That was poor move from TNA. An appearance from the champion is an expected thing on cards such as this.

The final major issue was the main event. Put simply The Great Muta and Tajiri, at 51 and 44 respectively, were not capable of producing a main event calibre match opposite James Storm. Yeah, Sanada seems like a capable lad, but he’s not good enough to carry two opponents and a partner to anything particularly worthwhile.

I may seem biased, being a Brit and all, but I can’t understand why TNA didn’t hold the show in London or Glasgow. They’ve recorded television in both cities to great success in the past. They filled arenas significantly larger than Korakuen Hall with fans more knowledgeable and more passionate about the TNA product. Any argument that Wrestle-1 helped to cover costs and therefore made it worthwhile for TNA to hold the show in Tokyo is pretty much invalid, there are multiple British promotions that would have helped finance Bound For Glory in exchange for use of TNA talent on shows around Britain. Going to Japan was an egotistical move from TNA and one that didn’t pay off for them.  

For all the problems it had going in Bound For Glory was, at points, an enjoyable show in terms of match quality. That wasn’t enough to salvage it, but it was something. People just looking at this show as a show, not as part of the ongoing saga of TNA’s downward spiral, probably would have felt they got a decent offering.

After an opening video which got us up to speed on the origins of the main event tag team match (Sanada turning on Keiji Mutoh) we were whisked into the partially filled Korakuen Hall where Jeremy Borash welcomed us to the show. Taz and Mike Tenay chimed in on commentary… from Nashville. That they’d stayed in the US was another example of TNA’s cost-cutting. It also seemed to have irked Taz enough for him to become increasingly belligerent throughout the event.

Manik v Minoru Tanaka opened the show. The match started out looking like a smooth, competent affair and nothing more. It gradually built to incorporate bigger moves and a faster pace, including a particularly impressive moonsault from the turnbuckle to the outside by Tanaka. It was a very good choice for the opener. Tanaka won with a Fujiwara arm bar.

That was followed by the first of several flashbacks to old Team 3D footage (because they’d gone into TNA’s meaningless Hall of Fame the night before). It was from a Team 3D versus Rick Steiner and Road Warrior Animal match at Slammiversary 2007. The section we were shown saw Steiner and Animal make a comeback on 3D before Ray and Devon turned things around and won with the 3D. It was an unspectacular clip. No idea why it was chosen.

That was followed by an EC3 promo recorded earlier in the day, in a hotel by the look of things. Carter III said Spud had been on borrowed time since Dixie went through a table. He announced he'd secured himself a new PA (who would turn out to be Brodus ‘Tyrus’ Clay) then said he'd continue his undefeated streak at BFG. That was followed by a hype package that reminded us of all the guys Carter had beaten in his year in the promotion. That included Sting, Bully Ray, Kurt Angle and EY. TNA have done a good job building Carter up with what’s been available to them.

EC3 v Ryota Hama was preceded by a patronising, verging on racist, promo from Carter. It did at least get the desired reaction from the crowd, so that was something. He reminded us he'd beaten every inductee into the TNA Hall of Fame and declared that he would slam Hama. This promo coming straight after a backstage skit and before a match resulted in an overdose of EC3.

I’d previously been unaware of Hama’s work. His gimmick is basically that he’s a fat lad modelled on Rikishi circa 2000. If you’re into slabs of gammon that slap their backsides during matches there’s probably something to like with this character, but it was not for me.

EC3 mocked sumo wrestling mannerisms for some cheap heat. He got overpowered, stepped on and rolled over. He also took a running arse to the face and a traditional Stinkface. He came back with a kick to the genitals (which the ref somehow missed even though it happened right in front of him) and then hit the One-Per-Center for the pinfall victory. Carter's undefeated streak continued but he didn't deliver on his promise to slam Hama. He tried a few times though. Maybe that counts for something with someone.

Team 3D flashback number two came from Lockdown 2009 where they were opposite Beer Money in a cage match. 3D took a beating then 3D’ed Roode through a table to win. Not exactly a great example of their tag team prowess.

Backstage MVP talked about leaving his employer (he meant WWE and I’m astonished he didn’t namecheck it, considering how often Tenay does) to wrestle in Japan and talked about preferring wrestling to sports entertainment. Basically he put over Japanese promotions and Japanese wrestlers at the expense of TNA, not only his employer but the promotion people were watching, because TNA identifies as sports entertainment as much as it does anything else. He finished by saying he wasn't overly familiar with his opponent. It was a wonderful bit of subtle burial by ‘Mr 305’.

Kazma Sakamoto v MVP followed. MVP played the powerful, fiery babyface. Sakamoto played the cowardly heel. Tenay noted that Sakamoto had been Tensai’s “follower” in WWE. That did Sakamoto less favours than MVP’s promo. Sakamoto got the advantage after an eye rake then gave MVP a kicking. MVP made his comeback when he elbowed Sakamoto as he mockingly performed a Balling Elbow. MVP did the move properly and then scored with a shining wizard for the win. It was a decent enough match but not anything special.

Backstage Samoa Joe (wearing his dad's shades and suit) talked about making the X Division the best division in wrestling. He told his opponents to raise their game and prepare to be disappointed in their hopes for gold. It was a standard Joe promo, really. It was also kind of sad to see him lumbered with the X title in 2014. At this point TNA should have had him established as a permanent headliner alongside AJ Styles. They have, as has been noted by many people, made so many mistakes.

The X Division championship match saw Joe defend against Low Ki and Kaz Hayashi. During Low Ki’s entrance Tenay put over the X Division title as the equivalent of the IWGP junior heavyweight title. I thought that was rather flattering to TNA. Kaz Hayashi’s entrance was embellished with references to WCW, a company he worked for in a lower-card role before it went out of business thirteen-and-a-half years before this event.

They only got around ten minutes, which was surprising considering Joe’s status and the fact that it was one of only two title matches on the card. But it was also unsurprising considering TNA's general inability to present anyone like a star. The match was solid but seemed to be lacking something. It’s possible it was harmed by going on so early in the running order, fans not being ready for the megastar power of Samoa Joe so early in the night. Joe tapped out Ki to the Coquina Clutch, to an initially mixed reaction that gave way to cheers.

After the match Joe took a mic from JB and told the audience his name before saying something in Japanese. He put over Korakuen Hall and the fans, said his name again, and then said he is pro wrestling. The fans were into this but Joe is emphatically not the embodiment of pro wrestling in 2014. He hasn’t come close to being that for years.

Team 3D flashback number three took a different approach to the first two. It was highlights from a storyline as opposed to a match finish: the four month build to Dixie Carter getting put through a table. Sadly we didn’t get to see the Japanese crowd’s response to this.

Tommy Dreamer was interviewed about inducting Team 3D into the Hall of Fame. He said it was an honour to induct the lads in a country of honour, adding that it was surreal to be in Japan again and wrestling Team 3D. It was a tiresome interview. Dreamer being involved in the show beyond the induction was depressing. That was a spot that could have gone to a TNA regular, or someone more relevant to the sport in 2014.

Match number five was a Wrestle-1 presentation, Jiro Kuroshio and Yusuke Kodoma (representing the Novus stable) taking on Andy Wu and El Hijo del Pantera.  They were all eager guys showing plenty of pace and energy. The match was a little sloppy in places but remained entertaining. It was a good junior tag bout. Kodama won via a twisting corkscrew moonsault on Pantera after Kuroshio had wiped out Wu with a Swanton to the outside.

That was followed by what was presented as the second biggest match of the night: Tommy Dreamer and Abyss versus Team 3D. Bully and Devon wandered into the crowd before the match as Tenay chatted about their 23 tag title reigns. He included the WCW tag titles, which is contentious. They got into the championship lineage but it was booked by the WWF, making the legitimacy of it as a WCW reign dubious at best.

There was a “We want tables!” chant before the match began. Team 3D are still pretty over, making WWE interest all the more likely. Bully and Devon shook hands with Dreamer before the match. Abyss refused and turned his back on the alleged Hall of Famers.

The four started out with some double team wrestling in the ring. That came to an end when the one-time Dudley Boys did the Whassup headbutt and moved into the get-the-tables routine. That broke down into an arena-wide brawl. Weapons used included a bottle of water (by Dreamer), the ring bell, chairs, a hammer, kendo sticks, and various flimsy “metal” items dredged from beneath the ring. Thumb tacks came out after the standard issue brawling. Abyss took a flapjack onto those, selling them by campily waving his arms. The finish came moments afterwards after a 3D to Dreamer.

It came across like a parody of ECW brawls. It had no real passion or reason for happening and lacked basic psychology. Are we meant to believe they used weaponry because they have respect for each other? That’s just about plausible within wrestling logic, but the match needed a better layout and more aid from the commentary team to make it work if that was what they were going for. After the match Bully talked about the HOF and put over wrestling fans in general.

The pre-main event cool down spot went to Velvet Sky and Knockouts' champion Havok. They went with the obvious and most effective story; Velvet doing everything she could to bring down the powerful, imposing monster. It was a good match, superior to the average WWE Divas match because of the time that is invested in the Knockouts division as a whole (although it's nowhere near what it was years ago). Havok won with, of all things, submission to a bear hug.

The main event was preceded by a vignette of James Storm in a church chatting about saving Sanada from Mutoh. It was incredibly clichéd. Storm has basically been turned into a poor Jim Mitchell rip-off. We were also reminded of the formation of Storm's Revolution stable. They're not as entertaining, or as talented, as RPW’s Revolutionists. Sha Samuels alone is better than Manik, Sanada and Storm.

Before the match started Storm introduced himself as a legend. He got the crowd booing him by saying that he had turned a "boy" into a man (a statement that would have different connotations with a Western audience) by having him turn on his mentor. Sanada entered separately and got some decent heat. I suspect that was more to do with his heel turn than Storm’s promo.

A clean shaven Yoshihiro Tajiri wrestled simply as Tajiri. No first names here. Taz childishly shut down Tenay's attempts to get him to talk up his ECW clashes with ‘The Japanese Buzzsaw’. I mean, it's not like Taz is there to put the talent over or anything. He’s just there for his bubbly personality and sense of childlike wonder.

The Great Muta, the biggest star on the card for the live audience, barely got any reaction at all when he entered. His in-ring introduction was only slightly better. That was a worrying sign. Not as worrying, however, as Muta and Sanada starting the match. As the story of the match was that Sanada had turned on Mutoh (presumably forcing Mutoh to feel it necessary to wheel out his once-protected Great Muta gimmick) it would have made sense for the match to build towards a confrontation between them. They were the feud holding the match together and giving their exchange away at the opening bell set the match on a poor course it was never going to recover from.

Another part of the problem with the beginning was that the two bitter rivals didn’t have a particularly spirited sequence together. They rolled around on the mat a bit before Sanada's mist condom burst and started dribbling down face. Tajiri and Storm went in next and a portion of the crowd chanted for 'The Cowboy' (perhaps they were fooled into believing he really was a legend and felt they should show him some respect). They had a short, basic exchange before Sanada tagged back in to jeers. He and Tajiri spilled out to the floor and went under the ring, where they stayed for around thirty seconds as the audience sat in silence.

When they emerged Tajiri’s face was blue, immediately telling us they’d slipped under the ring as a way of working around the planned mist spot that had been ruined by the burst condom. It was a poor workaround that added nothing to the match. They could just as easily not have had Sanada do the mist. From there Tajiri was isolated to set up an eventual lukewarm tag to Muta.

Muta hit some dragon screw leg whips, did a bit of ringside brawling, and then dropped his corkscrew elbow. Storm interfered but got wiped out. Tajiri came in to give Sanada some kicks. His attempt at the mist was avoided, as was Sanada’s, but then Tajiri and Muta got a double mist on the former protégé, Muta following up with a shining wizard for the three. It was an awful finishing sequence to an awful match. It wouldn't have cut it as an Impact main event and was an embarrassment as the main event of what was supposed to be the biggest show of the year.

After the match Storm attacked Tajiri and threw him out of the ring. Then he choked Muta with a noose and screamed for him to die. Team 3D made the save, allowing Muta to mist Storm before he was given a 3D, a sequence that felt like a house show closer as opposed to the end of a pay-per-view.

That Bound For Glory played host to such a raft of problems is indicative of the poor state of TNA in the latter half of 2014. It was frustrating far more than it was rewarding. Much like TNA itself, really. If the company does cease to exist early next year this will not be a fitting end to its life on pay-per-view. It will, however, work very well as an analogue to TNA’s history: mostly enjoyable with flashes of entertainment in its first half before falling to pieces in its second and ending with just about the worst presentation imaginable.

Results summary:

Minoru Tanaka defeated Manik

Ethan Carter III defeated Ryota Hama

MVP defeated Kazma Sakamoto

Samoa Joe defeated Kaz Hayashi and Low Ki to retain the X Division championship

Jiro Kuroshio and Yusuke Kodama defeated El Hijo del Pantera and Andy Wu

Team 3D defeated Abyss and Tommy Dreamer

Havok defeated Velvet Sky to retain the Knockouts championship

The Great Muta and Tajiri defeated James Storm and The Great Sanada

Slammiversary XI review

TNA's eleventh Slammiversary may not have done much to excite me during its buildup but it certainly delivered once the first bell rang. There wasn't a single bad match on the card, even the worst entry (Devon v Abyss) being perfectly adequate thanks to its brief time and an enthusiastic crowd. Even more impressively the show's final three matches were perfectly laid out. That's never a bad way to top off a pay-per-view.

The card kicked off with the X Division championship Ultimate X match. Kenny King defended the belt against Suicide (played by TJ Perkins) and Chris Sabin. They had as good a match as possible with what is quite a restrictive gimmick. The standard offering of flips and dives were on display. It was entertaining. It earned itself a "This is awesome!" chant fairly early on.

Towards the start of the match we were told it was the thirtieth ever Ultimate X. As soon as Tenay furnished us with that fact I remembered just how overused the gimmick was at one point. WWE hasn't reached that number of Hell in a Cell matches yet, and that's a gimmick that predates Ultimate X by well over half a decade.

King removed Suicide from the match in the closing moments by trying to remove his mask. Seconds later Sabin leapt up to join him in the centre of the crossed wires and booted him until he fell down to the mat. The former Moror City Machine Gun then unhooked the belt for the victory and the opening match pop.

Before Sabin could get backstage he was accosted at the top of the ramp by Hulk Hogan. 'The Hulkster' did his typical apathetic routine of trying to get a young guy over: saying his name and the name of the city they were in repeatedly, presumably in the hope that it would continue to generate enough of a reaction to make Sabin look like a star. It didn't. People can see through Hogan like a window in 2013.

 

The new X Division champ: endorsed by Hulk Hogan

Once the token attempt at turning Slammiversary into something special for Sabin had failed Hulk hobbled down to the ring and continued wittering about Boston, name dropping André the Giant for good measure, before Mr Anderson, Garrett Bischoff and Wes Brisco interrupted him.

Anderson uttered some thoroughly clichéd material which prompted 'The Immortal One' to call Aces and Eights terrorists and pussies. The crowd lapped it up but it still felt a very strange thing for him to say. Hogan also referred to Sting as the greatest wrestler in the business. That's not going to help make new stars, is it? Once again I feel compelled to advocate stricter rules when it comes to old hands cutting promos in TNA.

That segment led into the evening's second match, a six man tag pitting the Aces and Eights members against Magnus, Samoa Joe and Jeffrey Nero Hardy (who'd grown a beard during his time off). The match was a solid effort that gave everyone something to do.

The faces won, which I feel was the wrong result. Had Garrett or Wes pinned any of their opponents it could have been a big moment for them. Instead Brisco caught Magnus with a low blow and a rollup, only to be hit with a Swanton by 'The Charismatic Enigma'.

Backstage JB interviewed Joseph Park about the TV title match he'd have later in the night. The segment existed solely to have Park assaulted by Devon and Knux.

Match three was the Gut Check tournament final between Sam Shaw and Jay Bradley. Shaw played face but had received a bye earlier in the tournament while heel Bradley had won all his matches. That's another curious booking decision to add to the list.

Neither man got much of a reaction when they entered. The crowd had been hot earlier in the show and would liven up considerably later, so the logical conclusion to draw is that they were interested in the Gut Check participants. Perhaps it's time to retire the concept and go back to introducing new faces in a more traditional manner. A generic but inoffensive and competent match was won by Bradley after a poke to the eye, a shove to the turnbuckle and a clothesline. After winning Bradley told Christy Hemme it feels "good" to be in the BFG series. He said he'll win it and go on to become champ. I'll be honest, I don't like his chances.

A backstage promo from Aries and Roode was followed by Devon retaining his television championship by count out. Joseph had been so thoroughly duffed up earlier that he was unable to make it to the ring, you see. Devon then got back onto the mic to run his mouth about Abyss.

That prompted the monster to return. The referee rang the bell to signal a title match. As Taz rightfully pointed out no bout had officially been made. This would be fine in ECW but TNA so often goes out of its way to emphasise tedious rules and regulations that it just seems off when they're disregarded like this. Abyss won the match and the title. No mention of how he and his brother have remarkably similar builds was made.

Dixie Carter came to the ring, completely oblivious to the fact that she is not well suited to an on-screen role. The woman seems determined to be the TNA equivalent of Vince or Stephanie McMahon. She's no Stephanie and she's certainly no Vince.

Anyway... Dixie recited a well rehearsed pro-TNA speech and invited the roster out onto the stage. Everyone bar Aces and Eights members was shown filing out. Kurt Angle was then announced as the second member of the TNA Hall of Fame. He's a good choice, particularly when you consider that he's been saying nice things about WWE again lately (because this could placate him and sway him to stay a bit longer, plus TNA are inducting him while he's under contract). A well produced video package of Angle's Olympic win and TNA career was shown after which he said a few words about the announcement and thanked the fans. Although I don't see the need for a TNA Hall of Fame I think it was a very well put together slice of television and Angle's a deserving inductee.

Backstage Bad Influence made fun of Jeremy Borash and claimed credit for making the tag team titles valuable again. I think they have a point. TNA's doubles belts meant very little until the Bad Influence v Angle and Styles feud last year. Daniels and Kazarian did help to restore meaning to the gold.

The tag team title match that followed was very good. Even Hernandez and Gunner, two men I'm not especially keen on, looked good. With so many guys involved I'd expected the match to be a mess but it was one of the better tag matches TNA's put on this year. I suppose having so many veterans in one bout helped keep the quality high.

Daniels and Kazarian were the first team eliminated when 'The Fallen Angel' was caught lamping Chavo with a title belt. Seconds later that act resulted in Chavo getting pinned by Austin Aries. Having the first two eliminations occur at the same point in the match helped the pacing. It's not a trick that could be used all the time because it would become boring and cheap but it worked well here.

The closing portion showed Gunner to be the equal of the three more high profile performers he'd been left with. It culminated with him kicking out of the 450 splash and getting the win for his team by making 'A Double' submit to the Gun Rack. TNA passed up quite a few star building opportunities at Slammiversary but they took care of Gunner. That's better than nothing I suppose.

Presumably Gunner and Storm will feud with Aries and Roode. That will be great for Gunner but a comedown for the other three men, all of whom were headlining cards last year. Hopefully some new teams are created so that they can return to singles roles.

We went back to JB for the final time to find him with Brooke Hogan. She was there to discuss the Knockouts division that she's still in charge of yet knows nothing about. Her stupidest claim was that the division has been "grown like never before". Maybe she should watch some KO footage from 2008, when the division boasted Awesome Kong and the Beautiful People along with Gail Kim and was often the most enjoyable thing about iMPACT. That was the division's golden age and should be something TNA emulate now.

When quizzed about whether she still loves Bully Ray Brooke said she'd have to end the interview. Thank heaven for small mercies.

That was followed, fittingly, by the Last Knockout Standing match between veteran Gail Kim and referee turned grappler Taryn Terrell. The match the two women had was astonishingly good. It was the best Knockouts offering I've seen for quite some time and far better than anything the WWE Divas will be allowed to produce anytime soon. It bettered the Ryback v Cena LSM from Extreme Rules too.

Memorable spots included: Taryn narrowly avoiding a Kim spear, which sent Kim tumbling into a chair out of the ring; a cross body onto a steel chair from Taryn to Gail; and the match winning running cutter from the entrance ramp to the floor for Terrell. It was an intense, believable and crisply executed match. If Taryn Terrell can wrestle like that all the time she deserves a spot in the division.

AJ Styles had new music when he headed to the ring to face Kurt Angle. People have been going crazy for it. It did nothing for me.

Styles and Angle produced a match that was predictably superb. They did everything from high spots to mat wrestling. In a break from the norm of pay-per-view wrestling Angle won after an exchange of pin attempts stemming from an attempted Angle Slam. The result surprised me. I thought they'd want to keep 'The Phenomenal One' strong for whatever push is planned for him later in the year. Apparently not. It doesn't matter really. AJ's so well established that a loss to Angle won't harm him.

 

Look at the intensity!

A poll that JB had introduced in one of his many backstage segments was revisited after that. Viewers had been asked to vote (via TNA's high-tech Facebook page) on who they thought would win the title match between Bully Ray and Sting. Sixty four per cent of voters believed Sting would become the new TNA world champion. I thought that was high at first, but perhaps viewers were swayed by the stip that Sting would never challenge for the belt again if he lost.

Bully cut a pre-match promo telling Sting he was going to beat him with the most feared move in wrestling: the piledriver. He wanted to break 'The Stinger's' neck. To begin with I thought Bully was talking about the 3D. A no DQ match would have made interference from Devon perfectly legal. But then I remembered the Motor City Machine Guns kicked out of that and lost interest in the idea.

I do like the idea of TNA building up the piledriver. It's gained a reputation as a legitimately dangerous move due to WWE's ban of the move in the late nineties, which influenced many other wrestling groups to follow suit. It's a move that could meab a great deal if limited to special occasions.

The match started out as a pretty decent brawl. Bully predictably connected with the piledriver eventually. Just as predictably Sting kicked out. He also kicked out of a power bomb through a table. Moments later Bully easily avoided a Stinger Splash and piledrove Sting on the exposed boards of the ring. Sting kicked out of that too, at which point I begun to think that the piledriver's credibility was being sorely tested.

 

You may have noticed that Bully Ray's new move of choice is the piledriver

Bully got dropped with a Scorpion Death Drop on the boards and appeared to have been beaten. Aces and Eights naturally made the save. Sting made a comeback against group jobbers Bischoff, Brisco, DOC and Knux. Devon tossed a chain to Bully but Sting grabbed it, nailed the champ and went for the pin. Devon did the old yank the ref from the ring routine and so Sting, stupidly, left the ring to chase the Aces member around ringside. That allowed Mr Anderson to hand a hammer to Bully, who landed 'The Icon' with it as he sailed back into the ring from the top rope.

Yep, Bully Ray won a PPV main event via hammer shot. Again.

I've nothing against screwy finishes to main events usually. As long as they don't happen all the time I tend to be fine with them. But because TNA's only producing four pay-per-views a year now they should be trying to avoid this sort of thing. If it has to be done they should at least vary things a little.

I liked the main event. It was a match built around brawling and false finishes and was very effective for what it was. It provided a fitting end to an enjoyable, productive and well-paced card. If TNA can thread some decent stories together between now and Bound For Glory and then replicate the in-ring action of this card on the night they'll be doing something right.

From Masks to Glasses

I want to commend TNA on the good work they've done with Chris Park over the last year. Under his previous persona of Abyss Park had done everything of note in TNA, making himself stand out in dangerous and bloody brawls in particular. He was, in a way, a Mick Foley for the 2000s, albeit without the vaunted promo ability or technical prowess in non-stunt environments.
 
His transformation into Joseph over the last year has allowed us to see another of Chris Park. It was clear as soon as the character was introduced that he was designed as a more promo-friendly guy than Abyss ever was. Over time he has transitioned into a comedic role, losing the steely edge displayed when he was first seen a year ago.

When he first appeared Joseph was looking for his “brother” Abyss. He hadn’t been seen in months, the result of a feud with Bully Ray, which had involved a backstage segment which strongly (not to mention disturbingly) hinted that ‘Calfzilla’ had caved in the masked man’s skull. In a metafictional and mildly confusing twist it was acknowledged that Abyss was a TV character played by Chris Park and that his brother Joseph was a lawyer investigating his disappearance.

The confusion, of course, arises from the fact that both characters are played by the same man.
 
Joseph was involved in some gimmick matches last year in which he was booked as a non-wrestler. While he didn't get as violent as Abyss used to in such bouts it was still very much the performer's comfort zone. The spot in which Joseph "surprised himself" by managing to hit a Black Hole Slam (Abyss's signature move) aside nothing noteworthy happened for the character from an in-ring standpoint in 2012.

The waters were further muddied by the bizarre decision to have Abyss interfere in the match between Joseph and Ray at Slammiversary. At that point it seemed set to become the most schizophrenic plot in TNA history. Thankfully Abyss hasn’t been seen since and the focus has been exclusively on Joseph.
 
We saw a different side of Chris Park as a performer on the January 31^st IMPACT. Joseph Park had his first official match as a member of the TNA roster, defeating Robbie E. In a match that was a world away from the average Abyss outing the emphasis was firmly on comedy and basic wrestling exchanges. That Park (whichever first name you want to attribute to him) was able to work this style so well when you consider what he's become known for speaks well of his versatility as a performer.

It looks as though Joseph is going to stay a regular on our screens for a while yet. That’s good news. He’s proven a likeable character popular with the promotion’s viewers. As he’s only just become an active member of the roster (despite being a regular for a year) there’s still plenty of mileage left. It’s easy to imagine Joseph working against many of TNA’s top bad guys.

Joseph is a fan of the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy

There’s also the long-standing Abyss mystery to be wrapped up. I’ve been convinced since he was written out of plots that Abyss will return sooner or later. Nothing that’s happened in the last twelve months has made me think otherwise. TNA’s longest standing gimmick will return sooner or later.

That Joseph Park has been fleshed out to such an extent means that the inevitable return won’t be as predictable as I originally expected. Had the lawyer disappeared after a couple of months then the return of Abyss would have been just another event. That so much time has been spent establishing him as a character in his own right means there’s a greater payoff to be had when Abyss finally returns.

Of course it’s difficult to imagine a scenario where this saga doesn’t end in disappointment. Before he comes back we can speculate on what TNA will do, how Abyss’s absence will be explained, and whether Joseph’s intentions have remained honourable all along. We can guess at what the lawyer instinctively hitting a Black Hole Slam means. Once Abyss is back on TV, confronting his brother or revealing that they’ve been the same person all along all the mystery will be gone and we’ll be left with just another wrestling angle.

The best thing about Joseph Park is the sense of mystery he’s introduced to TNA. Sooner or later that will be gone. We should enjoy him while we can.

Into the Abyss

Finally, after years of stalling, TNA have decided to do something new with the ancient Abyss character. Well, possibly…

Chris ‘Abyss’ Parks has been with TNA since 2003. For the hard of counting among you that’s nine years. It’s very difficult for a character to stay fresh in the wrestling business over such a lengthy period of time. Abyss has fared no better than anyone else. It doesn’t help that the character was conceived as an odd amalgamation of WWE’s Kane and Makind. He started out as a mute as did Kane. He even went through periods of being managed by The Sinister Minister, a nastier version of Paul Bearer.

His first memorable role was as a bodyguard for Kid Kash. That underwhelming part set the tone for the next several years. Mediocre feuds were intermingled with nonsensical face and heels turns, ludicrous storylines inspired by the Kane-Undertaker saga, and gibberish promos that you could, were you feeling particularly unkind, liken to the work of the Ultimate Warrior.

You may have picked up on the fact that I’m not a huge fan of the Abyss gimmick.

I’m not against Chris Parks. I think he’s a talented, hard-working wrestler who’s very nimble and athletic for a man of his size. While I’m not especially fond of modern garbage wrestling (I prefer to rely on old ECW footage for my needs in that department) I won’t deny that Parks has found his strength in such matches. If they’re spaced apart he can make an impression with his hardcore outings.

It’s the nonsense that the Abyss character seems to encourage that I’ve never been a fan of. Thankfully IMPACT has been free of that since the Genesis pay-per-view on January 8^th. On that broadcast Bully Ray was shown wiping his hands in a business-like fashion (we were meant to presume he had disposed of Abyss in a nefarious manner). ‘Calf-zilla’ responded cagily to questions regarding Abyss’s whereabouts.

You see? Even when being written off television Abyss gets caught up in tosh.

Two months later Parks returned to TV under the name of Joseph Park. This man is, we are told, Chris ‘Abyss’ Parks’ brother. This new character is a welcome change from the ranting, snarling madman we’re used to Parks portraying. I hope he sticks around and we don’t see the mask return.

The artist formerly known as Abyss

This being wrestling (and not just wrestling but TNA) there are a few ways this could play out.

Probably the most likely option is that we’ll see a storyline develop in which Joseph gradually uncovers the truth as to what happened between Bully Ray and his brother before we’re hit with Russo-esque swerve reveal that Joseph has been Chris all along. That would ultimately achieve nothing beyond, possibly, a costume change for Abyss. We’d be stuck with the tired Bully Ray v Abyss feud again and TNA would have fumbled another potentially worthwhile plot.

Slightly less likely is that Joseph will find out what happened between Bully Ray and his brother and then disappear to make way for the return of Abyss, never to be seen again. It would be the same result, just without the silliness of Joseph and Chris being the same person.

Perhaps TNA will genuinely surprise us and produce a storyline which reveals Joseph Parks was actually responsible for paying Bully Ray to take out his brother for some sinister reason known only to him. Naturally he would feel compelled to share his motives in front of a television audience and would get into a dispute with a valiant babyface taking issue with his decision.

That would require Joseph Park (anyone else notice that Chris and Joseph have similar but different surnames?) to exhibit some wrestling skill but that’s a logic hole that can easily be overlooked. Far worse things have happened in the company’s history. Similar skills could be shown if TNA decided to have Joseph step into the ring with Bully Ray to avenge his brother.

It’s inevitable that if we wait long enough Abyss will return but hopefully the Joseph character will be given a chance to grow naturally and find a place on TNA programming. Abyss has run his course. TNA have tried something new, now all they have to do is stick with it.