The show started with the traditional video package. It
focused on John Cena winning the WWE championship at Money in the Bank and his
defence in a fatal four-way match that would headline Battleground. Towards the
beginning the words "As one man rises" were shown on the screen. It
made me think that "Always rising" would be a suitably vague bit of
positivity for a new Cena slogan. Anyone reading this form WWE’s T-shirt
division is welcome to that idea. The video was nicely put together, as you'd
expect.
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| This is what wrestling's all about, basically. |
The opener was, for the second month in a row, for the
WWE tag team titles. Champions Jimmy and Jey Uso defended against the Wyatt
Family's Luke Harper and Erick Rowan. The Usos got a decent enough reaction but
it was nothing compared to the Wyatt boys. They were given a raucous good guy
reaction. Things got better for the official babyfaces as they managed to get their
name chanted in the opening minutes as Jey was isolated in the ring. The pair
would’ve been in real trouble if even a mauling at the hands of the slovenly
challengers couldn’t rally fans to their cause.
The Wyatts got the first fall with a Harper big boot to Jimmy,
just after Jimmy had tagged in. It was pretty sudden and really didn't make any
sense. Jey had been isolated for a few minutes before Jimmy tagged in and got
pinned so it would've made more sense for him to be pinned. The second fall was
just as sudden, Jimmy tagging in and rolling up Harper after the beardy lad had
charged chest first into a turnbuckle.
That the first two falls were raced through so quickly
was disappointing. It made the stipulation pointless, as though the four men
couldn't wait to get things evened up for a regular match. The opportunity to
tell a different sort of story or create a sense that the Wyatts had a massive
advantage over the champions was thrown away.
Thankfully the third fall saw the match improve. The
teams spilled out to ringside so the Usos could do some dives over the top rope
and off the crowd barrier. None of that, or the top rope dives back in the
ring, was enough to keep Harper (the wise choice for main Wyatt worker) down
for a three count. He retaliated with a suicide dive of his own. Jey super
kicked him from outside the ring and Jimmy immediately rolled him up for a
convincing false finish. Seconds later there was another when Jimmy survived a
Harper power bomb. The best was saved till last though: Jimmy rolled out from
under a Rowan splash and crotched Harper on the top rope before tagging his
brother, who immediately hit a splash on Rowan. The crowd lost it when ol’ red
beard survived.
Rowan blasted both champions with a double suplex from
the central rope. Moments later Harper no sold a super kick and flattened Jey with
a rolling elbow. Both Wyatt lads were laid out with double super kicks and
Harper received a double splash before he was pinned. The two-out-of-three stip
could have been put to far better use had the big moments of the third fall
been spaced out across the first two.
It's nice to see WWE sticking with the Usos as champions.
As much as I’d like to see Harper and Rowan get the titles they'll end up
meaning more the longer the Usos hold onto them. For that matter so will the
Usos themselves. WWE seem to want to turn them into the go-to tag team. There
are worse things going on in the company. It’s a good move.
A bland Seth Rollins backstage interview was interrupted
by Dean Ambrose. The two former Shield boys brawled briefly before Triple H
showed up and ordered Ambrose ejected from the building. Even a something as
simple as pummeling a bad guy improves in quality thanks to Ambrose’s maniacal
babyface mode.
Michael Cole channelled his inner-Tony Schiavone as he
desperately tried to make out he didn't know what would happen in place of the
planned Ambrose v Rollins second match. It is not one of his strengths,
although in fairness Schiavone had genuine anarchy to play off in WCW. Cole
should’ve tried starting a sentence or two with “Fans…” as the great man
himself did.
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| Can these two make that title mean something? |
AJ Lee and Paige were sent out for their match, allegedly
a last minute call because of Ambrose’s building ban. Their entrances were
accompanied by recaps of the two title changes they've shared, Paige beating AJ
the night after WrestleMania and AJ regaining the strap the night after Money
in the Bank. Their frenemies storyline was also alluded to. JBL trampled all
over that by loudly announcing he doesn’t believe they’re friends, blissfully
missing the point of the entire thing.
The match bucked the trend set by their first two by lasted
more than two minutes and competitive. Paige controlled the early moments
before taking a headscissors from the champion. Outside the ring 'The
Anti-Diva' took a mild and heelish shortcut when she rammed AJ into the
barricade. After a sloppy sunset bomb back in the ring Paige sold irritation,
either at her inability to beat Lee or Lee's lack of fight.
AJ applied the Black Widow. Paige countered out and hit a
Paige Turner but AJ kicked out, prompting more frustrated glances. A PTO
attempt turned into a series of covers culminating with Paige taking a Shining
Wizard. That put her down for the three count. AJ celebrated in the ring as
Paige skulked backstage. It was a good match that the audience was invested in.
If the two ever get twenty minutes they could produce something great.
Backstage Randy Orton wandered into a red-lit corridor
and chatted to Kane. 'The Viper' wanted 'The Big Red Machine's' help winning
the title in the main event. Kane implied he wasn’t interested and that he
wanted the strap for himself.
Out in the crowd Renee Young was with Booker T, Christian
and 'The Analyst' Alex Riley (yep, that’s his official nickname now,
apparently). A-Ry and Christian picked Reigns to win the main event. Booker
went with Orton, after dropping a WCW politicking reference. This segment
almost certainly existed to illustrate that Booker is superior to everyone else
who gets wheeled out for the expert panel segments.
Match three was the hotly anticipated hoss fight between
Rusev and Jack Swagger. Lana and Rusev got incredible heat with their pre-match
promo knocking America's foreign policy and (as usual) extolling the virtues of
Russia and Vladimir Putin. They finished up by promising Rusev would crush
J-Swagg. Colter tried to cut a promo of his own before the match but got a slap
from Lana.
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| SAUCE IT, BY GOD! |
Fans of slobberknockers would not have been disappointed
with this match. Both men got a go at pasting the other and they exchanged the
initiative a few times. They never let it get stale by keeping one guy in
control too long. Rusev won via countdown. That could sound depressing but it
really wasn't. Swagger had applied the ankle lock in the ring, Rusev being
trapped for quite some time and selling effectively before he finally managed
to grab the ropes. Swaggs applied it again outside and Rusev sent him into a
turnbuckle, KOing ‘The All American American’. It was an effective sequence
that worked because of Rusev's selling and Swagger's rampant, cheap heat
popularity. After the match 'Putin's Powerhouse' trapped Swagger in The
Accolade to loud boos. A rematch is coming our way which will see Rusev get the
decisive win. I’m looking forward to it.
In the back Stardust and Goldust stood in front of a
black backdrop with some golden lights on it. They talked about Guardians of
the Galaxy (sort of) and then Stardust blew star stickers at the camera. No
context was provided for why this happened. It was just a way of getting the
pair on to the show. Apparently putting them in the battle royal wasn’t an
option. It was more important to have Diego and The (Not So) Great Khali
involved.
Back in the arena Seth Rollins walked out to the ring to
accept a victory via forfeit. Justin Roberts made the announcement and Rollins
posed on a turnbuckle. Then he got attacked by 'The Lunatic Fringe'. JBL and
'King's' idea of putting this over was to discuss how security personnel would
be fired for allowing Ambrose back inside. The former pals had a wild brawl
that saw around a dozen assorted referees and agents dispatched to the ring to
keep them apart. It took the presence of Triple H and a pair of handcuffs to
get Ambrose backstage, carried by agents including Finlay and Bill DeMott. It
was an incredibly effective segment that should serve to make people even more
desperate to see Ambrose get his revenge on the cowardly Rollins.
The run sheet (fans…) got back on course with Bray Wyatt
versus Chris Jericho. 'Y2J' had to contend with interference from Harper and
Rowan until the referee sent them backstage a few minutes in. Bray looked concerned
at the loss of his boys and immediately knocked Jericho off the ring apron into
the ring barrier to take control. There were a few instances of sloppiness in
the sequence that followed, confirming Jericho was having one of his famed off
nights. It was to be expected. He does his best work against guys he's familiar
with.
Wyatt countered the Lionsault, blasted him with a
Yuranagi suplex and steamrolled into him in a corner. Stealing one from the ROH
play book he busted out a DDT on the apron. Michael Cole even made the
obligatory "hardest part of the ring" comment. 'The Highlight of the
Night' countered Sister Abigail into a Walls of Jericho attempt. When that
didn't pan out he switched to the Codebreaker, which earned him a surprising pinfall
win.
That wasn't the result I’d expected or wanted. JBL referred
to it as an upset but it’s more accurate to describe it as poor booking.
Jericho gained nothing from the victory. All it did was make Wyatt's bigger
wins over the last nine months, I'm thinking specifically of his clean win over
Daniel Bryan at Royal Rumble, his six man wins over The Shield, and his shady
victory over Cena, look like flukes instead of examples of Wyatt being a
talented competitor who should be taken seriously.
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| I hope security grabbed the briefcase. It's made from solid gold. |
We then went back to Seth Rollins one final time. He was
leaving the arena with a couple of security fellas who didn’t look like they’d
stand a chance against a crazed Dean Ambrose. That Rollins was leaving made no
sense at all. It had been made painfully clear that The Authority's plan was
for Rollins to cash in his MITB contract should Cena retain or Reigns win. Ambrose
leapt out of a car boot and the pair had another scuffle. Rollins ended up
driving off leaving Ambrose to seethe.
Every member of the Intercontinental title battle royal was
treated to a televised entrance, which ate up an obscene amount of time. That
could have been avoided. Guys could have entered during the parking lot fight,
leaving the big names to receive fuller entrances. It did at least allow us to gauge
popularity. Cesaro, Bo Dallas, Dolph Ziggler and Sheamus got the loudest
reactions.
Bad News Barrett came out before the bell to say that
he'd beat whoever won and regain the title. The fans cheered that, even after
BNB had knocked Florida as a retirement home.
The match was a perfectly adequate battle royal. There as
a well-received standoff between Sheamus and Ryback a few minutes in, which
proved that there’s still a chance WWE could change their minds and make
something out of ‘The Big Guy’. Kofi Kingston got two “crazy method of avoiding
elimination” spots. The first saw him sunset flip over Cesaro as Cesaro was
stood on the apron, then skin the cat and roll back into the ring over Cesaro. The second saw him launched
from the ring only to land on Big E’s shoulders. Cesaro then suplexed him off E
back into the ring.
The match (seemingly) came down to Sheamus, Bo Dallas and
Dolph Ziggler. Bo was the first of them to go. His eviction from the ring
earned boos. 'The Show Off' was a little overzealous in his desire to put on an
exciting exchange, moving so frantically that some basic moves were botched.
That aside the pair had a fun tussle that ended with Ziggler super kicking
Shaymo off the apron. But that didn't earn Ziggler the championship: Miz was
still in the match and slipped back in to toss Zigs over the top rope.
Yep, Miz won the Intercontinental championship over
Cesaro, Bo Dallas or Dolph Ziggler. So much for my wish that WWE will rebuild
its mid-card division as a thriving pit of great matches where the IC strap is
the be-all-and-end-all. Another complaint about the battle royal was that it
didn't feature El Torito. Chaotic multi-man matches like these are exactly the
sort of time he should be deployed: you get all the fun of his character
without him taking a spot from someone else.
That left only the main event. Kane and Randy Orton were
met with indifference. The most notable thing about Kane’s entrance was that
his mask and wig were crooked. The most notable thing about Orton’s entrance
was his blue trunks. Where were they when Bluetista needed some colour
coordination, Randy? Reigns' entrance was not met with the booming home state
ovation WWE probably would've liked. He was
cheered though, so that was good. Cena got his traditional mixed reception.
Early on the match was about ‘The Devil’s Favourite Demon’
working with Randy Orton. They would split up to incapacitate a babyface then
join up to double team the other. This was designed to play off the established
storyline allegiance and, more importantly, keep us waiting for a Cena versus
Reigns segment. The inevitable spot where Orton and Kane started bickering and
then fighting got the flat response it deserved.
When it came the reigns and Cena showdown failed to
sparkle. They traded punches before Reigns dropped Cena with a Samoan drop.
Cena sidestepped a Superman punch and gave Reigns a belly-to-back suplex.
Reigns was on his feet and blasting him with a spear before Cena could hit a
Five Knuckle Shuffle. Kane made the save.
Reigns went on a rampage, giving each of his three foes
the running drop kick before spearing Orton through a crowd barrier. Back in
the ring Kane tried to choke slam him but Reigns powered out and speared him.
Cena broke the cover and AAed Kane. Reigns broke up that cover before he and Cena went back to trading punches. That
barely got going before Cena slapped Reigns with a random AA. Kane was once
again on break up duty for that.
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| No belt for you. |
Cena and Reigns both took choke slams. ‘The Big Red
Monster’ decided to pin Reigns but didn’t get three (as if a choke slam is
going to put anyone in a WWE championship match down these days). Reigns
escaped a Tombstone piledriver attempt and speared Kane. Orton broke up the
cover and stung Reigns with an RKO. Cena appeared before Orty could do anything
like try a cover, giving him an AA onto Kane to keep hold of the championship.
After a slow start the main event turned out to be
satisfying. From the first Cena and Reigns confrontation onwards it failed to
slow down. But there was nothing special about it and all felt very familiar,
not good when new boy Reigns was involved. There were also far too many pin
break ups. It is okay for people to kick out of moves under their own steam you
know, WWE.
Battleground was a decent show that could, and probably
should, have been better. It started out strong with a compelling, if flawed,
tag title match, and the Divas match, Rusev v Swagger and the Ambrose and
Rollins brawl all doing what they needed to. Sadly it fell apart in the second
half. Wyatt v Jericho suffered from a Jericho off night and the resultant
sloppiness while the battle royal was poorly placed and featured a flat winner.
Battleground’s destiny is to be forgotten. Sadly, everyone involved embraced
that instead of trying to fight it.
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