Saturday, 15 March 2014

SmackTalk 14.03.14

This episode of SmackDown typified how little attention WWE pays to the show. With WrestleMania three weeks away it’s clear that everything that means something is being saved for RAW, because that’s the show that people associate with big announcements. SmackDown is the supplementary show that does a bit more wrestling and catches people up with Monday night happenings.

Think Triple H’s promo on Daniel Bryan proves me wrong? Think again. Nothing of interest is said by a shakier than usual ‘Game’. The aim is to remind everyone that Triple H and Bryan are going to face off at WrestleMania, and that D-Bry will get added to the main event if he wins. There was no new information and there won’t be until Tripper interacts with Bryan. Which will happen on RAW, naturally.

But just because nothing important happens doesn’t mean SmackDown’s not enjoyable. The quality of matches was high. The tag team opener, Sandow versus Rollins, and Ziggler versus Del Rio were all above average, and Bray Wyatt versus Kofi Kingston and the heavyweight main event clash were both inoffensive affairs. Even the Divas match between Nikki Bella and Tamina was watchable.

Most importantly this show demonstrated consistency. No major storyline advancements occurred but everyone who appeared was a known quantity who did what we as an audience expected from them. Predictability isn’t good all the time, but when it results in reliable second tier shows I think there’s something to be said for it. If WWE could get storylines going for everyone on the card, no matter how minor, I think their product would be about as good as it can get. As it is it’s not far off.


Tweet 1: Let's tweet some smack.
Tweet 2: Cena being prominent in the SmackDown opening is a bit ridiculous isn't it? He's barely ever on the show.
Tweet 3: I imagine he'll be opening the show now...

The Real Americans v The Rhodes Brothers

Tweet 4: Oh no. It's the Real Americans. Lovely stuff. Antonio Cesaro. Heeeeeey...
Tweet 5: Michael Cole needs to start referring to Swagger as 'Big Hoss'. Not just because it's on Swag's jacket but because it's funny.
Tweet 6: Loving Cesaro nearly dropping Cody then powering him up like he's nothing.
Tweet 7: If The Real Americans split who will Zeb side with. Realistically it should be Cesaro. But Swagger needs a manager more.

Cesaro is a swinger

Tweet 8: Duelling tags. Uh-oh-spaghetti-ohs!
Tweet 9: Yeah if I was Swagger and Cesaro beating up a weakened man I'd totes run away from Jimmy and Jey Uso too...

Triple H promo

Tweet 10: Bryan v Triple H is what's best for business. As is the title match stipulation.
Tweet 11: Cole's got heat with Triple H. 'The Game' stood him up. #heat
Tweet 12: Daniel Bryan's not on SmackDown because of the people. Nothing to do with him being on a house show at all.
Tweet 13: This promo is all over the place. What do you want to say, Triple H? Sort that out and say it.
Tweet 14: Alright, D-Bry's an underdog. We get it. We don't need to hear it said fifty different ways.
Tweet 15: "At WrestleMania I put an end to your dreams and I bury Daniel Bryan" - Triple H, who had to know what he was saying there
Tweet 16: What happened to Sandow's push? Did it disappear along with the sleeves of his T-shirts?
Tweet 17: Triple H is fine saying talent but not wrestler. Priceless.
Tweet 18: Is Triple H shrinking or is Sandow taller than I thought?

Damien Sandow v Seth Rollins

Tweet 19: Rollins facing Sandow. Who's the face here?
Tweet 20: It's Rolins, isn't it? Even though he's got back-up at ringside.
Tweet 21: If Triple H wanted to punish Sandow shouldn't he have booked him against Kane? Or Reigns? Or all three Shield guys?
Tweet 22: Rollins is a good wrestler but he's not intimidating is my point.
Tweet 23: Ambrose won't fist bump. But he will instigate a beatdown. And a triple power bomb.
Tweet 24: How much posing do these three want to do...?

Damien Sandow: staring at lights and fists

Big E v Fandango

Tweet 25: Faaaaaan... daaaaaan... goooooo's still got it. #neverlostit
Tweet 26: What the Andre battle royal needs is some grace and class. Because Andre was known for both.
Tweet 27: I wish JBL would stop pushing Fandango's win over Jericho as the biggest upset in WrestleMania history.
Tweet 28: Everyone knows it's Sheikh winning the gimmick battle royal.
Tweet 29: I've nothing against Big E but he shouldn't be squashing Fandango.
Tweet 30: I can't hear the Big Ending mentioned without thinking it sounds filthy.

Bad News Barrett gives some bad news

Tweet 31: I've got some bad news. There's a Bad News Barrett segment...
Tweet 32: "Look at that podium!" - Fan of podiums, Michael Cole
Tweet 33: Barrett's bad news was that The Undertaker will lose at 'Mania which will lead to everyone watching getting fired.

RAW Recap: Hulk Hogan and John Cena are confronted by The Wyatt Family

Tweet 34: I can't be the only one who noticed that Hogan placed himself right in the middle of the ring for the Wyatt promo on RAW.
Tweet 35: He literally stole Cena's spotlight.

Bray Wyatt v Kofi Kingston

Tweet 36: Bray Wyatt doesn't need the SmackDown Crowd Noise Machine.
Tweet 37: Wyatt versus Kingston. Technically this is a pay-per-view quality match. Y'know, cos they faced each other at Battleground last year.
Tweet 38: I'm not a fan of Kofi's Joker tights. He'd look good with a Spider-man design.
Tweet 39: "You are far less a man than I" - Bray 'Mid-Match Promo' Wyatt
Tweet 40: If Wyatt wins he gets his own era? Is that an official stip?

Bray Wyatt: maxing and relaxing

Kane speaks to The Shield backstage

Tweet 41: Corporate Kane is one of the best things in wrestling today.
Tweet 42: That they're still using the flame motif for Kane is great. It doesn't make sense any more but who cares?

Nikki Bella v Tamina

Tweet 43: Nikki Bella stretching there. No comment.
Tweet 44: Nikki's hat is covered in spikes. Is that what fashion is now? If so you can keep it.
Tweet 45: AJ's on commentary talking about how the Divas division has stepped up. She's wrong.
Tweet 46: That was a rough looking super kick from Tamina.
Tweet 47: Nikki using the backbreaker drop is pretty impressive. The win over Tamina's not bad either.

This is called a Rack Attack. True story

Dolph Ziggler v Alberto Del Rio

Tweet 48: That people still react to Ziggler is encouraging. I don't think he's getting pushed again though.
Tweet 49: This match could be really good if they're given ten minutes. I doubt they will be.
Tweet 50: Is there a more overused spot in wrestling than wrestlers insisting to the referee that they should have just made a three count?
Tweet 51: Pretty sure Ziggler does it in every match.
Tweet 52: Fameasser!! #BadAssBillyZiggler
Tweet 53: Inverted superplex. Impressive that they're pulling that out on SmackDown.
Tweet 54: Ziggler over clean with the Zig Zag. Great match considering the time they had.
Tweet 55: Ziggler's in the Andre battle royal. Someone's got to take the bumps...
Tweet 56: Ziggler saying he'll finally get his WrestleMania Moment could lead to an interesting story. Have him go for it every year and always miss.
Tweet 57: Then in four or five years give him something really memorable on the show.

Carlos Colon Hall of Fame announcement

Tweet 58: Carlos Colon's going into the Hall of Fame. And it's being announced on SmackDown.
Tweet 59: Twenty-six time WWC heavyweight champ. You may also be interested to know that he owned the promotion.
Tweet 60: I want Mideon to induct him.

Kane v Big Show

Tweet 61: Kane’s vest status: existential.
Tweet 62: Will Michael Cole reference the tag title reigns Kane and Show have had? Doubtful.
Tweet 63: Nip slip from Big Show there.
Tweet 64: Choke slam attempt versus choke slam attempt. This is drama!
Tweet 65: Big Show kicks out of a choke slam from the top rope. All the big moves are getting pulled out for this show.
Tweet 66: Nice that Rollins was the one to call off that attack. WWE seem to be going out of their way to not make one Shield guy a leader.
Tweet 67: And Kane goes down to a choke slam. Not even a top rope one. What a baby.

Poor Kane

Tweet 68: And then Kane takes a spear. No triple power bomb though. He probably asked not to be subjected to that. Like a baby.

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