Slammiversary IX preview

How on Earth has TNA been in business for nine years? While the company has never been a financial success a few years ago it could at least be said that it offered an entertaining product for wrestling fans tired with the WWE product. That’s no longer the case: TNA’s main event scene is loaded with WWE cast-offs while genuine talent like AJ Styles, Samoa Joe, the Motor City Machine Guns and countless others struggle to make the mid-card watchable. WWE’s product isn’t much better but at least they turn a profit and manage the occasional moment of enjoyment.

On Sunday TNA will present Slammiversary IX, a pay-per-view that ostensibly celebrates nine years of the company’s existence. Will the announced card do justice to the promotion’s almost decade long history? I don’t expect it will. Do they have the talent under contract to promote a show that does? Absolutely.

The main trouble with Slammiversary IX is that it’s filled with matches that look awful on paper. Scott Steiner and Matt Morgan have tangled on TNA shows before and the results have not been pleasant. Last time I checked both men were babyfaces, which makes this match an even tougher one to pull off: face versus face matches tend to work best with smaller men working a more technical match.

Then there’s the AJ Styles v Bully Ray Last Man Standing match. Instead of seeing Ray as the tag team wrestler he always has been and always will be TNA have decided to award him with a spot in Immortal and a fairly hefty singles push. He will never be capable of making a valuable contribution to TNA unless paired with D-Von or working in an agent role. He certainly shouldn’t be wrestling the promotion’s best worker at one of their most high profile shows of the year. Styles deserves so much better than this match.

Samoa Joe is another guy who deserves better. A match with Crimson is a waste of his talents. There was a time when Joe could have become the face of TNA, but they threw that potential away and started using him as Just Another Guy. Crimson is incredibly green and I can’t see this match being anything more than mediocre.

The X Division title match between Kazarian and champion Abyss features a size difference too pronounced to do the division justice. Does anyone else think that the entire Bischoff v the X Division story is a colossal waste of time? The X Division wrestlers don’t need a feud with a heel authority figure to spearhead the division’s resurgence, all they need is more time to wrestle. Kazarian should be going into the show as champion (instead of the lumbering amalgamation of Kane and Mick Foley, Abyss) and defending against Brian Kendrick. If those two had fifteen minutes they could easily produce the best match of the show. I’d love it if Bischoff’s involvement in the division was dropped but I won’t hold my breath.

Of the four remaining matches three look good. The British Invasion v James Storm and Alex Shelley (substituting for Robert Roode, written off TV with a fake injury) should be excellent. It’s possible the Brits will take the titles, allowing Roode to return to TV and blame Storm for the loss, putting an end to the team. A big singles push is said to be in the works for Roode. If that’s true I think it’s a smart move: Beer Money have done everything they can as a team and Roode has potential to be a valuable singles star.

 The Knockouts’ title match between champion Mickie James and challenger Angeline Love exists almost entirely to further the Winter, Love and Velvet Sky storyline. In spite of the nonsense the four women are talented enough to provide an enjoyable match. If we’re lucky it will lead to a Winter and Angelina Love v Mickie James and Velvet Sky match at Destination X in July.

The most likely bout to earn match of the night honours is Jeff Jarrett v Kurt Angle. They have consistently worked excellent contests with one another and I don’t see any reason that should change here. The only bad thing is that they have been wrestling each other for what seems like years. I’m ready for both to move on to new feuds. Thankfully that seems likely (at least for a while) as the winner of this match will challenge for the TNA World title at Destination X. The booking has the potential to get dangerously close to “over-scripted nonsense” with the pointless additional stipulation of Angle’s Olympic gold medal going to the winner too. I think Jarrett and Angle will make it work though: as I said, they’ve not let us down yet.

The match could really go either way, but the fact that the medal’s on the line makes me think Jarrett will get the win. It will give him one more thing to brag about and provide an excuse for at least one more match between the two (I suspect that TNA will have the two men enter new storylines for a month or two and then come back together to feud for the title).

Finally, there’s TNA champion Sting defending against Mr Anderson. This match does nothing to excite me and I imagine the majority of North American fans expected to pay for the event will agree. The build has seen Anderson become a full blown heel by wearing outfits Sting would have worn twenty years ago and beating up Disco Inferno. That this is how TNA wants to hype their pay-per-view tells you all you need to know about why they’re failing. The match will be average and nothing more. Sting will probably win.

Nine years of TNA has brought us a lot of good wrestling, but the vast majority of it occurred between 2004 and 2007. If the company continues on its current creative path they may not last another nine months, let alone nine years.

That RAW Recap 06.06.11

Due to the live episode of Tough Enough that aired before RAW this week (in which Andy Leavine was announced as the winner of the show) it was difficult to find a true starting point on YouTube. Most of the videos I found began around the point where R-Truth came to the ring, and as that clearly wasn’t part of Tough Enough I’ll start the recap from that point.

Truth interrupted ‘Stone Cold’ Steve Austin and Vince McMahon’s interaction with a song about conspiracies and Little Jimmys. It didn’t seem like it had been rehearsed and it’s possible (maybe even likely) that Truth was making it up on the spot. Because he’s a heel who’s supposed to be mentally unstable it worked out okay. It should also be noted that he was wearing a Confederate States of America uniform. This tied into a point he’d make about the CSA and its one good idea.

Vince introduced a recap of last week’s water incident between an actor portraying a fan and R-Truth. The General Manager had informed Truth that if he didn’t apologise on RAW this week he’d lose his title match at Capitol Punishment. This is a title match that was unconfirmed as RAW went off the air last week, and a title match Michael Cole said Truth would earn by apologising this week. These are small inconsistencies, but a company of WWE’s status should be capable of getting such minor things right.

Truth did apologise, and in amusing fashion. He apologised to Big Jimmy, Little Jimmy, and the soda that he threw. He then went on a ramble about the CSA, noting Richmond was the country’s capital. Astonishingly that got a pop from the audience. Truth said that the one good idea the South had was that secession. He had been inspired by it so much that he announced his own secession from “the WWE Universe”. This development was both amusing and logical: he didn’t want a company that had held him back to be able to make money from his likeness. He made a point, as any good heel would have done, of retaining his WWE championship match on June 19^th.

Vince made a few attempts at comedy, which fell utterly flat with the crowd. Luckily Miz came out (looking ludicrously orange even by his standards) to liven things up. Predictably he trashed Alex Riley and said if it weren’t for him he’d still be champion. Sadly nothing was going to keep the title on Miz once Vince got it into his head to put the belt back on John Cena. As we were reminded a few weeks ago, Cena went nearly an entire year without a world title. We’re lucky we got that long away from his stolen “The Champ is here” line.

A highlight of Miz’s speech was Austin laughing at the “most must-see WWE champion in history” moniker. As good as I think Miz is he’s clearly not the draw Austin, Rock, Hogan or Sammartino were. But that’s the joke of it.

Miz said he deserved one more shot at Cena and the WWE championship because he no longer has Riley holding him back. Before Vince, the GM or anybody else could answer Riley came out and said that he’d like to beat on the Miz for the third week in a row. That got Riley a pop and continued building him as someone fans can support.

The last man out for this segment was John Cena. His continued appearances at the start of RAW make me long for the days of Triple H’s twenty minute promos. At least he put a bit of thought into what he said and played to the adults in the audience: this week’s RAW saw Cena in full on Kiddy Mode™. He ran through his usual nonsense and I switched off until the GM emailed in. Before Cole could answer it Vince told him to shut up. We never found out what the email said as Vince decided to announce Alex Riley and John Cena v The Miz and R-Truth as the evening’s main event with Austin as the guest referee. That was probably what the GM was emailing in to do anyway.

As opening segments go it could have been far worse, but it was very similar to one we had a week or two ago in which CM Punk and R-Truth were announced to face John Cena and Rey Mysterio. It could have done with being trimmed down by three or four minutes too. On the plus side we got to hear Vince’s entrance music. That’s rare on TV these days.

Following a break we saw our first match of the evening: Santino v Michael McGillicutty. It was the standard Santino victory: barely worth watching. I imagine he’s of great value to the company at untelevised events where he can get a good reaction and warm the crowd up in the opening match, but his act is stale for TV audiences. On the subject of new tag champion McGillicutty: he didn’t get an entrance, his belt wasn’t shown, and his famous and successful father, Curt Hennig (McGillicutty’s real name is Joe Hennig) still hasn’t been acknowledged on television. He won’t be getting over any time soon.

Tough Enough was recapped and ‘King’ and Cole spent a moment or two wittering to each other before Kelly Kelly and Beth Phoenix came out for match number two. Their opponents were the Bellas, who were denied an entrance again, despite one of them being the Divas’ champion. The match was instantly forgettable. Even Beth Phoenix, one of the company’s best female workers, couldn’t drag the Bellas to a decent match in the limited time they had. We did at least get a babyface win.

Backstage Trish Stratus and Booker T were enjoying a massively scripted conversation when Jack Swagger rocked up for an equally scripted interruption. Swagger said that if he had been a trainer on Tough Enough all the contestants would have been winners, though he neglected to explain how that would work (and also didn’t acknowledge the distinctly communistic undertones such a claim carries). Naturally Booker took exception to this and the two were suddenly agreeing to a match later on the show.

Punk came out with Mason Ryan in tow, sitting down cross legged at the top of the entrance ramp for a promo. As ever he was one of the most entertaining aspects of the entire show, claiming that he’d beaten Rey Mysterio at least 600 times and that Rey had never once beaten him (neither of these claims is true, if you’re wondering). Punk revealed he had agreed to Mysterio’s request for a rematch as beating him again would be the perfect way to show the superiority of the Nexus. No, I didn’t really understand that claim either.

The match between Punk and Mysterio was, for the second week in a row, RAW’s most entertaining match. The two men are very well suited as opponents and I’m hoping they’ll get to wrestle one another at Capitol Punishment. That will make me far keener to watch the show than I would be otherwise. Anyway, as Punk won last week it was Mysterio’s turn this week: he took out Mason Ryan whilst DDTing Punk and then got the win following a top rope splash.

Deciding that viewers may be enjoying themselves a little too much WWE decided to slow things down with the Obama press conference video hyping Capitol Punishment. This week’s was altered to include R-Truth, but even he couldn’t make that rubbish any better. It remains a bad idea executed badly by a company that has clearly run out of ideas and should be spending its time doing something more productive. Like building new talent perhaps.

Alberto Del Rio came out for a promo. When he was on SmackDown this would have been one of the best segments on the show. That’s not the case on RAW. ADR reiterated that it wasn’t his fault that Big Show got hit by his car, then brought out Ricardo Rodriguez in what was meant to be a Big Show outfit. The trouble with this idea was that Big Show has one distinguishing feature: his size. He is well over a foot taller than Rodriguez. That meant Cole had to keep telling us it was Show (partly for heat but also so that people just tuning in knew who Ricardo was portraying).

This segment was horrendous. It’s amazing how quickly the RAW writing team are destroying Del Rio. If things carry on like this the planned Del Rio v Cena main event for SummerSlam will be jeopardised as an attraction. I’ve said this several times now, but I’ll say it again: he is being wasted on RAW and should have stayed on SmackDown, where he was being used properly and providing entertainment for viewers.

A rare RAW appearance for Zack Ryder was next, with Dolph Ziggler giving him a pep talk in the ring. Kofi Kingston, the United States champion (which means nothing), was announced as his opponent. He got a surprisingly good reaction from the crowd and followed up with a surprisingly good match with Ryder. As enjoyable as the match was the highlights were Cole referring to Ryder as “Zack Ziggler” (what a ring name that would be) and Ziggler talking about Twitter.

Ziggler did do a good job of stressing the importance of the United States title to him. By talking about the belt and saying he wants to win it he elevates the championship in the eyes of the fans. There’s still a long way to go if it’s really going to mean something though. Presumably this will lead to a title challenge by Ziggler at Capitol Punishment. I hope so: as Ziggler rightly stated, he and Kingston usually have top matches.

A graphic giving us some witless fact about Cena’s Facebook page was shown. It said “Cena Nation” at the top. I thought it was CeNation. WWE can’t even get their own marketing right now...

Possibly due to losing a mediocre match last week Jack Swagger’s entrance went untelevised. We saw him waiting in the ring. Naturally this wasn’t going to happen to Booker T. His first match on RAW in four years was going to have its entrance televised in full. Four years is a pretty long time, but it wasn’t as amazing as Michael ‘Overhype’ Cole made out. Speaking of Cole, he was pro Booker in this match, due to his fall out with Swagger. I imagine he’ll be back to antagonising the former WCW champion on Friday’s SmackDown broadcast.

The fans were into Booker T in a big way, and he looked as impressive as ever. For a man of 46 he looks great. The match wasn’t long and ended on a disappointing count out when Swagger decided he’d had enough. Evan Bourne clotheslined him from behind and Swagger gave chase. Booker laid him out with an Axe Kick in the ring and then Bourne did his beautiful Shooting Star Press. The faces then did a cringey double Spinneroonie spot. Evan’s was sloppy.

The main event tag match was the basic Cena affair. Nobody ever manages to look good when in the ring with Cena, no matter whether they’re facing him or tagging with him He is incapable of making stars, and as he was by far the most over person in the match (unless you count guest referee Steve Austin) he should have been the one to elevate people. He flattened Miz with his usual unrealistic offence, loudly called a bulldog (something a man with his experience and position on the card should never do), and performed the most ludicrously bad drop kick I’ve seen in a very long time when R-Truth came running into the ring with a chair. The fans were into it all, but it was a sloppy effort.

The finish was the same as the tag team main event from two weeks ago: the babyface guest referee interfered and cost the heels the match. It’s astonishing that WWE continues to make its faces look weak in this fashion, particularly when one of them is Cena. No matter what other faults the company has they can usually be relied on to keep Cena strong. I hope this is the last time we see that finish. As nice as it was to see Miz take a Stunner I’d prefer a well booked match.

The GM emailed in to reverse the decision because of Austin’s interference. It wasn’t popular but it made sense (although it does raise the question of why Bret Hart was permitted to interfere two weeks ago). What didn’t make sense was another email seconds later in which Austin was announced as the guest General Manager next week. Austin had just cheated, been punished for it, and then been given the job of the person doing the punishing by that person. Is there any sense involved in that chain of events?

Austin then decided, for no apparent reason, to pull Cole into the ring. He punched him, gave him a beer bath and then finished him off with a Stunner (which Cole hilariously no-sold).

This is exactly what should have happened at WrestleMania. It would have been the perfect blow off to the Cole heel character at the perfect time. That they waited two months and gave it away free on an episode of RAW shows that the company does not have the connection with its audience that it once did.

As enjoyable as Austin’s appearance and interaction with Cole was, it left a sour taste in my mouth. ‘The Rattlesnake’s’ connection with the audience after years away from the company remains unchanged, and there are no current stars, even Cena, who can match the reaction the stars of yesteryear receive. While men like Austin, The Rock and the soon to return Mick Foley will always get the nostalgia pop there should by now be a fresh batch of superstars on their way to cementing their own spots at the top of Vince McMahon’s empire. That there aren’t is worrying, but it’s nothing new.

Nexus Birthday

One year ago WWE presented its viewers with one of the most shocking conclusions to Monday Night RAW in years. On Monday June 7^th 2010, Wade Barrett, Daniel Bryan, Skip Sheffield, David Otunga, Darren Young, Michael Tarver, Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater surrounded the ring during a match between CM Punk and John Cena. After pausing for a moment they attacked the two competitors, plus various members of the ringside crew, and set about smashing equipment to pieces.

It was fresh, exciting and original, things that WWE programming hasn’t been known for for a long time.

In the week between the original angle and the following edition of RAW on June 14^th fans eagerly speculated about what the big plan was for the seven young men (seven because Bryan ‘Daniel Bryan’ Danielson had been released from his contract for choking ring announcer Justin Roberts with a tie... yes, really). There was a sense of the unknown about the angle: it was a chance for WWE to do something more creative than it had since the end of the Attitude Era in the early part of the decade. They had gifted themselves a potential gold mine of a storyline.

Sadly, viewers didn’t get the level of creativity they had hoped for. Instead they got the same monotonous, droning heel promos from Wade Barrett (the group’s leader and de facto mouthpiece) that every other WWE heel gives. In the first few weeks he made passing comments about there being a “bigger reason” for the group’s formation, a grand plan apparently beyond fans’ comprehension. But after a month or so references to all of that were quietly dropped and one year on we still don’t know why the Nexus formed, beyond the obvious reason of securing themselves WWE contracts and earning a living.

Looking back, the trouble was that there was no plan for the group and no ending to work towards. The writing team (or Vince, or someone else) came up with a thrilling angle but nobody gave any thought to what would happen next. In fairness, they couldn’t wait: the angle had to take place straight after the conclusion of NXT in order for it to have the maximum impact possible. But there was still more than enough time for the creative department to formulate a longer term story. It was their job to come up with a plan for Nexus: that they didn’t or couldn’t is unforgiveable.  

Instead of reinvigorating WWE television as it should have the story quickly fell into the routine of everything else the company promotes and it became clear that it was going to run indefinitely. A fourteen man tag match at SummerSlam provided the group with the chance to wrestle with three of the company’s top stars in Edge, Chris Jericho and John Cena, but nobody on the Nexus team rose to the occasion and entered a standout performance. By that point the group was probably doomed anyway: the writing team had failed to protect them from looking weak and even though only a two months had passed since they debuted the group was treading water. The SummerSlam match saw them eliminated in quick succession, guaranteeing that the faction would never be taken seriously again.

The autumn months featured a feud between Barrett and John Cena that dragged on and on and on... and on. It was painful to see so many young careers squandered to make the hopeless Cena look good. Then Cena was forced to join the faction against his will and things got really ridiculous.

The Cena v Nexus feud trundled on until January, when it was finally dropped. By this point Michael McGillicutty and Husky Harris had joined the group, Barrett, Gabriel and Slater had jumped to SmackDown to form the Corre with Ezekiel Jackson, and CM Punk had been installed as the new mouthpiece. The addition of Punk on the final RAW of 2010 had given fans hope that the Nexus would receive a renewed push. It wasn’t to be: it was another example of a quick idea being dreamed up for a crowd reaction with no long term plan being in place to capitalise on its success.

The Nexus has been on WWE television for a year. The group has created no new stars, has been a part of only two memorable television moments (the formation and Punk joining), and has produced no matches of any value. At the very most it can be considered only partially successful, and that’s being very generous. Most would agree that it’s been a huge blown opportunity. It’s too late for the group to achieve its potential now. The most we can hope for is a split, with all the members going their separate ways. But I don’t think that will happen. As always with the Nexus, we’ll be disappointed.

Glowering Under Spilt Milk

On last week’s episode of SmackDown this happened:

My first thought was that Johnny Curtis had returned to TV to embark on a no-nonsense feud with milk, or perhaps even dairy products in general. Then he jobbed out to a tray (not a glass or a bowl, but a tray) of milk, and I realised WWE had far grander plans in mind for the liquid. Curtis will have to make do with a mid-card spot by the looks of things. Perhaps the milk will go on to form a team with Sheamus: skin tones make them natural allies.

Joking aside, this was clearly intended as a way of reintroducing Johnny Curtis to WWE programming. What was less clear was whether he would be a face or a heel. Last time we saw Curtis he was the babyface winner of NXT season four (defeating Broadus Clay in the finals) on March 1^st. As he said in the video, that win was supposed to entitle him to a tag team title match alongside R-Truth. But, as ever in WWE, plans are changed with frightening regularity. You can never be sure of anything, especially announcements stated as categorical fact and repeated multiple times.

R-Truth is embroiled in a feud with WWE champion John Cena. He won’t be demoted back down the card just so he can help to elevate a newcomer, nor should he be. But, at the same time, Curtis won NXT and hasn’t done anything since. While the runner-up appeared at WrestleMania and Extreme Rules and has wrestled multiple times on television Curtis has been overlooked and left with nothing to do.

Curtis’s rapid dismissal from TV presents WWE with several options on how to reintroduce him. He is distinctly non-chipper in the video above which makes me think a heel run is likely. It’s very easy to imagine him blaming the writing team, or “management”, for not using him despite him being chosen by fans as someone they wanted to see more of. Such sentiments, presented in the right way with enough arrogance, could easily turn Curtis into a whining heel that feels he’s loved far more than he actually is.

Another, far less likely, alternative would be to have Curtis attempt to find himself a new tag team partner to use his tag team title shot with. With WWE’s disinterest in the tag ranks I don’t think this is likely, nor do I think it would be in Curtis’s best interests if it went ahead, but it would offer viewers a storyline that is easy to follow and hasn’t been done by the company for years.

Of course the act of pouring milk over himself, while odd, seems to indicate that Curtis sees all the WWE superstars as crybabies. While his allusion to the phrase “crying over spilt milk” was painfully clear, his point was less so: it could have done with one final line to emphasise whatever point was supposed to be made. The fake crying only confused matters.

Ultimately, I think the point will be that he was forgotten by “management”. At this very early stage (based on less than fifty seconds of footage) things look promising. New characters are what WWE is in desperate need of, any attempt to create a new star is better than no attempt at all. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this results in a decent push for a man who has the look and skills to make a valuable contribution to the SmackDown roster.

Truth Hurts

Here’s some truth for you: I’ve never really been a fan of Ron ‘R-Truth’ Killings. He was a babyface for around a decade, not once standing out as someone who would rise to the top of the business. Up until a few weeks ago if you’d asked me if I thought he’d ever hold a world title in WWE I would have quickly answered no, and probably added that even a mid-card title was unlikely.

Part of the problem was his gimmick. Whether in WWE or TNA he was always the same smiling, high-fiving generic babyface with the clichéd rapper gimmick. It’s not the stuff that world champions are made of.

But I had never seen him as a heel. He has been a revelation in the role. Under his previous babyface persona the only time he got on a mic was to rap, which immediately made me switch off, but when tasked with giving a more traditional style promo (you know, one where he speaks about his goals and achievements and tries to illicit a reaction from the fans instead of shouting as loud as he can over his entrance music) he’s very effective. His verbal skills now stand out as the strongest part of his act.

The development of his character has been well handled. The reason for the change in attitude is clear and understandable: he got tired of dancing, rapping and generally humiliating himself for the enjoyment of the fans without getting anything to show for it. Pandering to the fans held him back, which made him resent them. Anyone can follow that logic and it makes Truth more believable as a performer.

Of course, the true highlight of his revamped character has been his use of bizarre phrases. “Little Jimmy” is the personification of all the kids in the audience that Truth had to cater to for years, the reason he feels he has never reached the top in the company. Then there are the more esoteric phrases such as “Used ta is a rooster from Brewster!” which means nothing but sounds amusing and gets Truth over as the mentally unhinged crackpot we’re meant to see him as.

There have also been promising signs that WWE has planned a storyline out for Truth. On the May 23^rd RAW, while ranting at Cena, Truth blurted out that he wants his son back. Following that line he looked embarrassed and quickly went back to his verbal lambasting of Cena. The following week he victimised a father in the audience (well it was an actor, but we’re not supposed to know that) who was enjoying a night out with his sons. Coincidence? Or will it be revealed that Truth singled that man out because of his own issues with an estranged son?

I think the biggest sign that Truth is working out as a top heel is that he has successfully turned the crowd against him to the extent that they are willing to support John Cena. The WWE champion has received mixed reactions for years, and it’s rare for anyone to work a program with him with the heel/face dynamic working correctly. That Truth has managed this shows that the audience don’t like hearing what he has to say and are willing to support anyone over him.

R-Truth v John Cena for Capitol Punishment is expected to be announced on this Monday’s RAW. That match would be a big test for Truth, but it’s one I think he’d pass. He has shown amazing crowd working abilities in the past few weeks on RAW, and with the warm responses Cena has received lately I expect that fans at the pay-per-view will be solidly behind him. The match may not be a classic, but the crowd should be emotionally invested enough to make it memorable.

Will Truth win the title? I no longer think it’s impossible, but I don’t think Capitol Punishment will be his night. The match will likely end on a disqualification or feature some brawling after Cena wins to keep the feud alive for Money in the Bank on July 17^th. At this point, I think Truth’s one of the brightest stars in the company and someone who deserves a tryout with the top title some time soon. And that, little Jimmy, is the truth.