Fantasy Booker: Survivor Series 2015

On November 4 WWE world heavyweight champion Seth Rollins tore ligaments and a meniscus in his knee during a house show match with Kane. You've probably heard this, because Rollins is a pretty important figure in the world's biggest wrestling company. You've also probably heard that WWE vacated the title on November 5 (remember that date) and announced that a new champion would be crowned at Survivor Series.

Naturally this made many people, me included, recall the Deadly Game tournament. That was a fourteen man tournament held at the 1998 Survivor Series (Undertaker and Kane got a bye to the second round), also held to crown a new champion, which famously ended with an homage to the Montreal Screwjob™, then only a year in the past.

I've got a soft spot for Survivor Series '98. It was the first major show to take place after I started watching wrestling and it had a catchy theme tune. It was also the pinnacle of the Russo booking approach, allowing him to utilise all of his strengths and disguise his many, many (many) weaknesses (you can read more on that here). All of which means that this fantasy booking piece (and let's not kid ourselves, I was always going to do a fantasy booking piece on this) has some similarities to the Deadly Game tournament.

Let's start with the November 9 RAW. I'd like to acknowledge the fact that the show would be taking place exactly eighteen years after the Montreal Screwjob took place. But I wouldn't because that would be too on the nose. Instead I'd simply have The Authority announce four qualifying-slash-first round matches for the show and another four for the November 12 SmackDown. The men chosen would be hyped up as amongst the best wrestlers in the company, nay the world (true for some, not others).

The reason I'd be booking qualifying matches is to fill TV time. Without the originally planned Rollins and Reigns programme there'd be little to build to at the pay-per-view beyond the Wyatts eight man tag against Undertaker and Kane. With no main event to promote the sensible thing would be to focus on the tournament, and the best way of doing that would be to include more matches and spread them out on TV. It also has the benefit of making it seem like the guys who make it to the final have achieved more, going through one more round.

This match feels overdue.

The four RAW matches would be Dolph Ziggler v Tyler Breeze, Dean Ambrose v Kevin Owens, Bray Wyatt v Ryback, and Roman Reigns v Sheamus. Ziggler and Breeze's first match seems overdue and it couldn't hurt 'Prince Pretty' to debut in a world title tournament. They'd have the longest match of the four, allowing Breeze to look competitive in defeat. Owens and Ambrose feels like another suitably big first round match and one that people couldn't be absolutely certain of a winner for. It would also tie into their burgeoning rivalry and be a natural main event for RAW. KO would go over via some sort of shady tactics leading to a pop-up power bomb.

Wyatt and Ryback would be kept short because I don't think they'd work particularly well together and they'd have a storyline finish to protect 'The Eater of Worlds'. Some crazy lighting effects would distract him and allow Ryback to get a Shellshock for the victory. These lighting effects would obviously be attributed to 'Taker and 'The Big Red Machine' and their magical powers, keeping that rivalry relevant and adding another reason for their Survivors match.

Reigns versus Sheamus would be the shortest of the bunch. Sheamus would wrestle for a bit before grabbing his Money in the Bank briefcase and walloping Reigns with it. The commentary team would hypothesise that 'The Celtic Warrior' was deliberately disqualified to hurt Reigns, the favourite, and because he has his guaranteed title match thanks to the 'case, making his participation in the tourney redundant. Shaymo would gloat about exactly this in an interview later in the evening.

The four SmackDown bouts would be Big E v Mark Henry, Adrian Neville v Kalisto, Alberto Del Rio v The Miz, and Cesaro v Stardust. These guys all feel like SmackDown regulars, meaning it's not an unrealistic batch of guys to book in these matches. Big E v Henry would be a standard short match. E would win with interference from Woods and Kingston. Neville v Kalisto would be the second longest of the evening and be designed to showcase the skills of both lads. Kalisto would get the win. This would be intended as a surprise although I don't know if it would be that big a deal. It's not like Nev has been built up since his main roster debut.

Del Rio and Miz would be an awkward heel versus heel match but those are okay occasionally. And, for the record, there's no real reason ADR should be considered a heel right now. All he's done is come back, beat Cena, and show pride in being Mexican. What's bad any f that? So he could play face in this match before switching back to his aggressive heel ways for the pay-per-view matches. Cesaro v Stardust would be the SmackDown main event. Cesaro could pummel Konnor and Viktor on his way to a decisive win, playing off whatever the Cosmic Wasteland watching Cesaro from the crowd over the last few weeks was meant to lead to.

The November 16 RAW would feature the predictable Survivor Series elimination match featuring the eight quarter finalists: Ziggler, Cesaro, Reigns and Kalisto v Owens, Del Rio, Ryback and Big E. Ryback aside this would be heels versus faces, and I'd want to position 'The Big Guy' as a subtle heel for the PPV itself (more on that below). Reigns and Cesaro would be the sole survivors for their teams and the commentary lads would hype up that the brackets are laid out in such a way that Cesaro v Reigns could be the final match. Also on this episode of RAW Ambrose would have a backstage segment discussing Owens and Sheamus, the purpose of which would be to keep that issue alive and tease Ambrose interfering at in Owens' tourney matches and watching out for a Sheamus cash-in after he attacked Ambrose great buddy Roman.

I'd want the Survivor Series show to reuse the old Deadly Game theme. I doubt that's possible because WWE probably signs deals that prevent using anything except the generic theme songs that are the norm now, but I'd like it to happen.

Push this man.

The show would open with Ziggler falling to Owens in five or six minutes. It wouldn't be overly long because 'Mr Wrestling' would need to look dominant for the night ahead. Match two would see Del Rio defeat Kalisto. Their match would be all about Kalisto constantly trying to get flash wins and ADR trying to slow him down and create some distance. He'd win with the cross armbreaker. Losing to such an established move shouldn't hurt li'l Kally. That would be followed by Cesaro pinning Big E. He could again be booked to look like a beast by overcoming a pair of seconds at ringside, this time Kofi and Xavier.

Match four would be Reigns v Ryback. The idea with making this match would be to put Reigns against one of the few guys his detractors likely want to see as world champion even less than him. Having Ryback leave his face mannerisms in the dressing room for the evening would help with that. It's not a guarantee that the crowd would side with Reigns but I think there's a strong chance they would. Reigns would get worked over for a bit before making a comeback and winning with the spear and Superman punch (because this layout seems to have worked well for Reigns this year).

That would cue up the first non-tournament match. Not that it's important to the pupose of wat I'm writing about here but I'd have that be the Charlotte v Paige Divas championship match. I like the idea of having a tag team tables match between New Day and the Dudley Boyz too but that would probably go on the pre-show. The Duds would finally get their big win over New Day. That's overdue. The feud needs to end.

The first semi-final match would be Kevin Owens v Cesaro. The idea here would be to enhance the standing of both men by having them progress this far. They'd add to that with an even match. Owens would win, the idea being to encourage people to boo him because he'd have eliminated a genuine fave in 'The Swiss Superman'. Meanwhile the logic behind going with Reigns v Del Rio would be to have Reigns beat another guy that people wouldn't actually want to see win. The crowd and viewers would be encouraged to back Reigns because he'd be knocking off "boring" tournament entrants.

Those matches would be followed by the Wyatt Family v Kane and Undertaker match (no idea who'd be partnering with the Brothers of Destruction, it wouldn't really be a priority). 'Taker would really have to be the sole survivor for his team, wouldn't he? Because it's his twenty-fifth anniversary in the company and he's a face. But I'd overlook that and have the match come down to 'The Dead Man' and Wyatt then have Wyatt win. Because Wyatt is more important to the future of WWE than 'The Phenom'. Plus Wyatt winning and spoiling the anniversary should get him some solid heat.

Which just leaves the main event. There's a lot I'd want to include in this and I'm aware it will probably read as overbooking (it probably would be overbooking if it happened). But I think that's okay occasionally. It certainly sounds more appealing than yet another main event in which Seth Rollins wins by being flukey. So here's what I'd do...

Reigns v Owens feels like a good tournament final to me.

The match would be announced as a no DQ affair with the declaration that "there must be a winner." Triple H and Stephanie would walk to ringside before the start of the match, prompting Michael Cole to rattle off Survivor Series Screwjob info, reminding us that 'The Cerebral Assassin' was in on the original Montreal happenings. I'd want to have at least fifteen minutes for the match itself when the bell rang at the beginning of Owens v Reigns. They'd have a straight match for ten minutes, trading the advantage and trying to keep people guessing on who'd win.

Owens would go for the Sharpshooter at around the ten minute mark, which should be a reliable reaction-getter considering the circmstances. Reigns would counter that into a roll-up for a two count. At which point Sheamus would stride to the ring. We'd get a reaction shot of The Authority looking concerned and Sheamus would get into the ring and Brogue kick Reigns. 'Great White' would then hand in his briefcase, making the match a three-way in a call back to the WrestleMania main event. He'd turn around into a pummelling from a recently arrived Ambrose. Owens would recover and save Sheamus from 'The Lunatic Fringe'.

The heels would give Ambrose a kicking. By this point Triple H would be up on the apron shouting and trying to get some order over the situation. Reigns would return to his feet from the Brogue kick and drop Reigns with a spear. Owens would hit Reigns with a pop-up power bomb. Reigns would kick out. Owens would sell disbelief and stagger towards the ropes, where Helmsley would clamber into the ring and give him a Pedigree.

Reigns would then return to his feet and, after a stare off with 'The Game', apply the Sharpshooter. Trips would immediately signal for the bell to be rung and hand the title belt to Reigns. Steph would join them in the ring. Shaymo would walk up the aisle looking angry at having wasted his magical briefcase. Owens would lay on the mat selling. Ambrose would confront Roman and be dropped with a Superman punch. The show would go off the air with Reigns, Triple H and Stephanie recreating the famous shot of The Rock (Roman's cousin remember) celebrating with Vince and Shane at Survivor Series 1998.

Yes, it's convoluted and a bit messy. It would hopefully get tidied up a bit before the night. But this would be the gist of what I'd go for because it makes use of all the things people would expect the finals to play on: the corrupt bosses at ringside, a Money in the Bank cash-in, Ambrose interference (his mere presence would get people suspicious that he'd cost Reigns the match), a WrestleMania 31 reference, and, of course, the Sharpshooter finish. It would set up Sheamus, Owens and Ambrose as challengers for Reigns and position Owens for a babyface run, something I think he's well suited for right now. The tournament as a whole would also have helped raise the profile of Cesaro and Kalisto, two guys who WWE could and should be doing more with.

Most importantly in turning Reigns heel fans would be encouraged to vent any frustration they may have over him and his largely failed babyface run(s). When he turned babyface again the animosity should be gone and he should be more actively embraced. People need to see him in a new role and be given reason to back him. There's no light Reigns is better role right now that big, mean asskicker. Giving Reigns time as the top, corrupt heel, especially if he were booked to trounce everyone who challenged him, would actually get him over in the long term as a face. That's the character he should play and this is the way to introduce it.

***

First round RAW matches:

Dolph Ziggler defeats Tyler Breeze
Roman Reigns defeats Sheamus via disqualification
Ryback defeats Bray Wyatt
Kevin Owens defeats Dean Ambrose

First round SmackDown matches:

Big E defeats Mark Henry
Alberto Del Rio defeats The Miz
Kalisto defeats Adrian Neville
Cesaro defeats Stardust

Second round matches:

Kevin Owens defeats Dolph Ziggler
Alberto Del Rio defeats Kalisto
Roman Reigns defeats Ryback
Cesaro defeats Big E

Semi-final matches:

Roman Reigns defeats Alberto Del Rio
Kevin Owens defeats Cesaro

Final match:

Roman Reigns defeats Kevin Owens and Sheamus

WWE BFFs

The last week of WWE TV made it fairly clear that Dean Ambrose is being shunted in the direction of Kevin Owens. They were presumably  pencilled in to wrestle for KO's Intercontinental gold at Survivor Series before Seth Rollins got injured and a tournament was announced They still may face off but it's less clear now that WWE has an emergency booking solution to conjure up. If Owens v Ambrose does happen I'm sure they'll do something fun. But that's not what I'm interested in here. What I'm interested in is what WWE originally seemed to be setting up for Survivor Series.

That's a Dean Ambrose heel turn.

The night after Hell in a Cell Ambrose told Reigns that he was almost within reach of achieving his dream of becoming WWE world champion. This was the same night Roman defeated Kofi Kingston to qualify for a number one contenders match in which he beat Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio and big Kev Owens. The message of those matches was clear: Reigns was earning a world title match by winning, and winning good matches to boot.

The timing of Ambrose's words of inspiration and affirmation would have raised eyebrows with anyone familiar with the standard tropes of WWE's interpretation of wrestling (sports entertainment). 'The Lunatic Fringe' was suppressing jealousy over Reigns' spot. Reigns, the trusting good guy, couldn't bring himself to see this.

The lads.

It's a story that WWE viewers have seen before and although it seems to have been dropped for now it's one we we'll almost certainly see Reigns and Ambrose go through a split at some point. And that will be both a shame and one of the best takes on the plot ever. Because not only do Reigns and Ambrose have years of on-screen friendship to play off but they've also done a stellar job of making it far more genuine and affectionate than the vast majority of on-screen friendships ever seen in wrestling.

The standard play, especially in WWE, is to present guys aligned on the same sides of the heel-face divide as mates no matter what. Which is problematic because it leads to situations where guys are tagging with people they've had intense feuds with months earlier or who have beaten the for championships (y'know, those things we're supposed to believe every wrestler wants to win and keep hold of?). When this is how it's presented the concept of friendship really doesn't mean much, which limits possibilities when it comes to storytelling and lessens any "friend turns on friend" spots we're meant to care about.

The Ambrose and Reigns relationship is different. It's easy to believe they're mates, quite possibly because they really are. We've had jokes about how Dean knows what beer Roman likes. We've had Roman supporting Dean in his quest to take the world title from Rollins earlier this year. We've seen Dean come to Roman's aid in his battle with the Wyatt Family. Perhaps best of all, dating all the way back to their time in The Shield, we've seen Dean consistently display the ability to make Roman break character and laugh during promos. Those genuine moments not only helped to humanise an all too wooden Reigns, they showed that the pair do genuinely get on and have a rapport.

They will come to blows at some point. Friendships in wrestling sadly only tend to exist either in tag team divisions or to set up rivalries. It would be nice if the Reigns and Ambrose friendship could be exempt from this and be a wrestling relationship that transcends the trope. But it won't be. At least we can take solace in the fact that, because they're so believable together, the inevitable Ambrose versus Reigns feud should be near impossible to mess up.

NXTweet 04.11.15

This show was all about the main event championship match between Finn Bálor and Apollo Crews. But there were action from Samoa Joe that were Truly Shocking (assuming you avoid spoilers).

Intro

Tweet 1: I am watching the NXT.

Tweet 2: What this show needs to get to the next level is Kane in a prominent role.
Tweet 3: Tonight: Apollo Crews versus Finn Bálor. It'll be good. But think how it could be improved turned into a three-way featuring Kane.
Tweet 4: Big fan of people going along dressed as their fave wrestlers then looking awkward when the cameras go for closeups.

Asuka v Cameron

Tweet 5: Asuka. She's great and all but she's no Glenn 'Kane' Jacobs.

Tweet 6: So much laughter for this bizarre appearance from Cameron.
Tweet 7: Why wasn't Cameron billed from Planet Funk? In fact why isn't she still doing the Funkadactyl gimmick?

Cameron doing a Ribena gimmick here. That'll get over.

Tweet 8: Let me tell you, this "Girl bye!" thing is on the cusp of taking off (it isn't).
Tweet 9: Why is this match still going? Why hasn't Asuka won already? I like her spamming the Rear Views though.
Tweet 10: Imagine booking Cameron the Funkadactyl to look even vaguely competitive.
Tweet 11: I'd be interested in knowing what Vince thinks of Asuka. She wrestles, which he's not interested in, but she loves a pose, which he is.

Tom Philips interviews Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder

Tweet 12: Recap of The Not-Mechanics trying to "cripple" Big Cass.

Tweet 13: Live to our medical correspondent Carmella for an update on Cass and Enzo.
Tweet 14: Dash Wilder having 'Powder Keg' on his ring jacket. Superb.
Tweet 15: You know what I like? I like every tag team on this roster wanting the titles. Because you would, wouldn't you?

Jason Jordan and Chad Gable challenge The Ascension

Tweet 16: They are not the World's Greatest Tag Team™.

Tweet 17: Jordan and Gable will give The Ascension their best match since they returned for the Dusty Classic.

Bull Dempsey v Angelo Dawkins

Tweet 18: I'm a fan of Dawkins and Fulton and their experimental act. Fulton looking like Rick Steiner doesn't hurt.

Tweet 19: You know what would really get Bull Dempsey over? Facing and beating Kane.

You should never have taken the rucksack off, mate.

Tweet 20: I've gone right off Bull since he became the new Simon Dean. He had potential as a lardy Tazz.
Tweet 21: Saddened to see Sawyer Fulton shouting at little Ange. I liked that team.

Tom Philip interviews The Vaudevillains

Tweet 22: Tom Philips playing go-between with The Vaudevillains here. What a mug.

Tweet 23: Why don't Dash and Dawson just take The Roughnecks as a name? It fits and it's a name. Could do worse.

Apollo Crews sits in a locker room

Tweet 24: Apollo having a stare at the NXT title hanging in the locker room there.

Tweet 25: Why are he and Finn sharing a dressing room when they're facing each other? Surely one would rather dress alone. For concentration, like.

Bayley introduces the Hype Bros as her partners to face BAMF

Tweet 26: Recasting Mojo Rawley as a 90s throwback is a stroke of genius.

Tweet 27: Disgusting that we have to put up with him dragging Bayley down to his level though.

Eva Marie v Marley

Tweet 28: Lol at Eva Marie having "RED" written on her WHITE ring gear. Slow clapping this.

Tweet 29: They should do a storyline where Eva's desperate to get a front cover shoot with Zoo. Relatable innit. For someone.

All red everything. Except for the white.

Tweet 30:  This girl Eva's wrestling. Is she The Kendrick's sister? Because there's a similarity there.
Tweet 31: These "Eva's ratchet!" chants though.
Tweet 32: A rare off night for Eva Marie there.
Tweet 33: Don't know about you all but I'm hyped for the inevitable Eva Marie title reign.

Tom Philips interviews Dana Brooke and Emma

Tweet 34: Dana and Emma with their sensational Mean Girls shtick here.

Tweet 35: Emma v Asuka could be great. That's what should have gone on at Takeover: Respect. I get that they wanted to give Dana the rub though.
Tweet 36: Eight of Spades is the theme song of Takeover: London. #fingeronthepulse

NXT championship: Finn Bálor (c) v Apollo Crews

Tweet 37: Eighteen minutes left on this show. Settling in for a hot little title match.

Tweet 38: I like that we're getting big matches for Bálor where he doesn't do his face paint. Makes it mean more.

Cut the lights!

Tweet 39: I'm into this lighting change for the ring intros.
Tweet 40: I'm less into a break about a minute into the match.
Tweet 41: "Moose"-esque shouts of "Crews!" there.
Tweet 42: An idea: have that punt kick become a regular thing from Bálor and call it the Hooligan kick.
Tweet 43: Finn Bálor and Davey Richards have the same haircut.
Tweet 44: Randy Orton and Eric Roberts. Condemned 2 looks like a powerhouse of acting.
Tweet 45: Such a fan of the Vaudevillains v Not-Mechanics getting an ad dedicated to it. Makes it seem like a big deal.
Tweet 46: Ads are entirely pointless during NXT though.

Referee with a W for a head there.

Tweet 47: Crews v Bálor is, as expected, really good stuff.
Tweet 48: That Bloody Sunday move really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday. #deliberatePartridge
Tweet 49: That exchange that followed. My word that was good.
Tweet 50: Oh look, it's wolf and motorbike enthusiast Barry Corbin attacking champ and challenger.
Tweet 51: Corey Graves describing Corbin's actions as a mugging. Hope he takes a wallet from Finn's tights before he... oh, Joe's here.
Tweet 52: Joe finally doing his heel turn here. I'm obliged to ask why, Joe, why?

Why, Joe, why?

Tweet 53: Lol at the crowd actually chanting that.
Tweet 54: I want Joe to explain that he turned because Bálor refused to sign with TNA. "We could have turned it around, Finn! We could have saved it!"
Tweet 55: Good show. Good hustle.

Making NXT Phenomenal

AJ Styles. In terms of talent WWE could sign right now he's pretty much the pinnacle. Not because he'd be a nice addition to the main roster (not to say he wouldn't be) but because of what he could do for NXT.

 

'The Phenomenal One' appeals to people who like their wrestlers to wrestle. That's not always something that gets factored in with WWE fans. They like Hulk Hogan because of nostalgia (or maybe racism, who knows?), Steve Austin because he was an outspoken asskicker, Rock because he was a great promo, John Cena because of Reasons™. Styles is light on intangibles but can put together a red hot match given enough time and a semi-decent opponent. That's just not necessarily something that would help him connect with the average WWE viewer who had no knowledge of his former life in ROH, New Japan, and other respected groups.

 

Would Styles want to give up this spot for Monday nights wrestling R-Truth?

Styles would not get to do what he's best at on the main WWE roster. At least not until he'd earned his way to the top of the card with years of paying dues to The WWE System. Which, understandably, probably wouldn't appeal to him because he's getting paid main event money to headline in NJPW now. He'd have no reason to relocate other than money, and WWE are unlikely to pay him big bucks to work his way up through the mid-card. While Styles has stated many times money is his chief motivation for wrestling I can't see him trading his current career for the weekly grind of WWE's mid-card and the whiff of one of Vince's brass rings unless a frankly unrealistic sum of money was involved. 

 

If you're considering that WWE would race AJ to the top don't bother. That would break decades of routine and this is a company that takes routine very seriously. No, he'd have to earn his way there like everyone else. Because Vince is certain that the batch of guys who have come along since 2000 or so are all lazy millennials who just want to coast.

 

But Vince doesn't run NXT. Triple H does, and he's been shown to break routine for his league. Wrestlers who have made names for themselves outside of WWE have been signed and immediately pushed, helping it to become a show with its own style and narrative quirks and a far more satisfying watch than the average RAW. Immediately pushing guys like Finn Bálor, Kevin Owens, Samoa Joe and Apollo Crews has trained fans to expect the best in terms of booking for debuting stars. It is, as has been noted before, WWE's take on the indies.

 

AJ Styles is a star to any wrestling fan who follows any promotion that's not WWE. He emphatically would not be in Vince McMahon's eyes because he will only truly consider someone a star once they've been built up in his territory. But Styles could come into NXT and instantly be accepted by its fans and that's what NXT needs. A steady stream of fan-friendly signings to keep the momentum going as the men and women deemed prospects get bumped up to the main roster.

 

With the "brand" still being expanded and money-losing kinks being worked out (or at least minimised) signing someone who could help draw crowds on the scale the company wants NXT to operate on would clearly hold appeal. Like Joe, Styles doesn't look like a guy who'd be a sure fire success booked by Vinnie Mac. But booked by people who'd play to his strengths (wrestling) and disguise his weaknesses (talking, although he's miles better than he used to be) he could be an asset to the planned global expansion. 

 

Could this signing happen? Absolutely. Would this signing happen? Well, WWE could outbid New Japan with ease and attitudes to indy standouts have changed significantly over the last several years. Samoa Joe keeping his name shows Styles could keep his, handily explaining why he has a massive AJ tattooed on his side. He'd be of use to an area of the company that seems to be a priority. That had to count for something. It's by no means a definite thing but Styles in NXT could happen. And with Finn Bálor likely not far off a promotion the timing could be getting pretty good pretty soon because that rarely appearing top babyface spot is perfect for Styles.

MexAmerica

Something that passes for character development in WWE these days is a guy formerly known for being a massive pro-America racist and xenophobe ceasing to be a massive pro-America racist and xenophobe. We have to accept that we were given no reason for the change and just be pleased that it happened. Because, y'know, a company that chases a PG rating not featuring racism-based angles is probably a good thing.

I'm talking, by the way, not about Michael 'PS' Hayes but Zeb Colter. Of course I am.

What even is this?

The change is obviously welcome but it did come as something of a surprise. Prior to Hell in a Cell Zeb had last been seen getting his leg broken by Rusev in December 2014 (something which was apparently necessary to set up another match between Ru Ru and Jack Swagger (Swagger lost)). Hell in a Cell revealed that he and Alberto Del Rio, once sworn enemies because they're from different countries and cultures and those are things that can't simply be overlooked, had buried the hatchet and Zeb had agreed to become ADR's manager. Because why not, I guess?

It's an odd move that makes no sense on any level. Storyline-wise it's ridiculous that the two men would pair up. Colter's entire character before this contradicts the pairing, making it seem possible (though admittedly not likely) that WWE intend to regale us with a tale of Del Rio seducing, nay brainwashing, sweet, innocent Zeb into becoming a more accepting person as well as his manager. Which is fine and all but it raises questions of morality and free will that I doubt WWE would handle satisfyingly.

From a talent perspective it's confusing. Although he's a laugh I don't think anyone was crying out for a Zeb return. ADR is a perfectly capable promo and doesn't need a mouthpiece. He's worked well with a second before but a mobility scooter-bound mad sexagenarian is very different from a smarmy personal announcer who can make you either want to see him get a smack or feel incredibly sympathetic for him.

But the biggest question is this: was this really, honestly, the best WWE's vast creative department could come up with for the returning Del Rio? He's an international multilingual second generation star who can turn out good matches, works nicely as a conceited heel, and was being courted by numerous other promotions. Defeating Cena for the suddenly quite meaningful United States championship is good and all, there's nothing wrong there. But the Colter alliance and promos about a title reign representing "MexAmerica" are confusing. Short of Del Rio introducing Homicide, Hernandez and Salinas for an obscure invasion angle or going full Lance Storm and renaming the belt there's nowhere interesting for the gimmick to go. So far the best it's done is give us an amusing backstage scene where Jack Swagger basically said "C'mon, Zeb, I know you're still a racist really!" It's just not clear what the gimmick is meant to be or how we're supposed to react to it.

I bet Del Rio's happy to be back regardless of the nonsense he's been lumbered with though. No more dealing with indy promoters who refuse to put up with his prima donna attitude!