The lads. |
It started well though. The three-way tag title ladder
match was exactly the kind of opener a WWE pay-per-view needs. New Day headed
out first, talking about the Lucha Booties and "Uso" sounding like a
disease and their desire to become the faces of the division. They also
reminded everyone they were heels by having Xavier say he hadn't done anything
special with his hair because he wouldn't waste the effort on Boston.
Being a tag ladder match there was no shortage of
memorable spots. They included: stereo moonsaults to the outside by the dragons
on New Day; stereo topes onto a ladder by the Usos on everyone; a
belly-to-belly suplex onto a ladder from Big E to an Uso;a hilariously
unspectacular belly flop from the top rope onto Kofi by Sin Cara, followed
seconds later by a tope into a Swanton bomb on ladder-covered Usos; Big E bench
pressing a ladder off himself with both Dragons still on top, Kalisto leaping
off with a cross body block on Jimmy and Jey; the Usos smacking Kofi with a
ladder as he was trapped in a tree of woe; Sin Cara monkey flipping Kalisto
onto a ladder atop an Uso; Xavier Woods talking about stamina bars on
commentary; Kalisto headscissoring Kofi into a ladder; Soledo del Sol from the
top of one ladder onto another; and a Jimmy Uso splash off the top rope onto
Big E, who was under a ladder (obvs). New Day retained after Woods threw his
trombone at Kalisto, stunning him and allowing Kofi to pull him off the ladder
and climb up to retrieve the belts.
Knowing they couldn't top that match WWE wisely decided
to follow up with Ryback versus Rusev. If there was an official big lads
championship in WWE it would have been on the line here. These are two of the
company's premier hosses and it showed in a match that should have satisfied
anyone who likes this kind of thing. A Lana distraction eventually led to a Rusev
victory via Accolade. While dull, it did at least work as a way of
re-establishing Rusev and Lana.
Chairs matches are bad. This was no exception. |
After a stilted, unnatural conversation between Roman
Reigns and Dean Ambrose (Reigns really, really shouldn't speak) we got match
three. That was a chairs match for the United States championship, Alberto Del
Rio defending against Jack Swagger. They kicked off with a duelling chairs spot
and then had a basic encounter featuring basic weapons spots. I imagine I'd
have been more interested in this bout if I weren't bored by ADR. But I am so I
didn't. 'The Essence of Excellence' won with a double stomp onto a pile of
chairs.
That was followed by the Wyatt Family v the Dudley Boyz,
Tommy Dreamer and Rhyno in a tables match. Trash cans (dustbins) and kendo stocks
were brought in immediately, seemingly so Strowman could no-sell them and look
powerful. He was briefly teamed up on by Team ECW but was saved by Erick Rowan.
He was put through a table, eliminated, for his trouble.
Harper and Wyatt took over after that. At one point
Harper hit a Michinoku driver and Michael Cole called it correctly. That was
surprising. Rhyno was their first victim, getting booted through a table by
Harper. The Dudleys slipped back in to hit Harper with a Doomsday Device. Bubba
got distracted targeting Strowman (possibly a shoot considering his
reputation), leaving Devon to set up a table. He was immediately thrown through
it by Wyatt.
E-C-dub, E-C- ahhh, I can't be bothered. |
That left Tommy Dreamer and Bubby Ray against the three
remaining Wyatts. Which was a really odd call. Dreamer didn't last long though:
he got eliminated after a tope through a table by Harper. Bubba responded to
being left alone by dousing a table in lighter fluid. Because that clearly
wouldn't have been PG it came to nothing. Strowman wandered in and choke
slammed Bubba through the table to get the win for his team.
The match was better than I'd expected but was by no
means good. That the Wyatts weren't permitted a clean sweep was the biggest
weakness. It really would have helped their standing as a faction had they not
lost anyone. Maybe something will come of Rowan being eliminated. I hope not,
frankly. He already has one failed singles push to his name. We don't need
another.
The Intercontinental championship match was preceded by a
promo from Kevin Owens. He laid into Bostonians living vicariously through
their (presumably) successful sports teams before turning his attention to Dean
Ambrose. Naturally enough he said Ambrose and the Boston fans had plenty in
common.
A disinterested referee watches Ambrose risk his neck. |
They had one of the night's better bouts, an indy-styled
altercation built around familiar spots and near falls. This is the sort of
thing that both men (though Owens in particular) excel at. It was nice to see
them given the chance to do their thing here after an ever-so-slightly
disappointing meeting at Survivor Series, although they still didn't get that long. 'The Lunatic Fringe' got the
surprise win, playing into the false finish theme by reversing a pop-up power
bomb that felt like a definite match-ender and getting the pin and the title.
It's a bit of a shame that Owens' reign is over so soon but at least he lost to
someone with some name value. I'm interested to see whether WWE get it right
with Deano now.
The Divas title match between Charlotte and Paige took
the semi-main event slot. That's been the traditional slot for female wrestlers
over the last decade. One aspect of that tradition has been giving the matches
little time and less reason to happen. That's something that has, pleasantly,
been dropped from the women's division since the Divas Revolution over the
summer. The story itself largely failed at everything except introducing new
names to the roster but it's nice that's it's had a more positive long term
effect.
The story going into the match was that Charlotte had
become increasingly like her father, bragging about her abilities and cheating
to win. This included her sneaking an unfair victory out of supposed friend
Becky Lynch. It doesn't matter that aping her massively charismatic father
doesn't play to her strengths, this has been a step in the right direction for
Charley. She's a more natural heel than face at this point in her career and
this is good for her.
Time for a new title belt, I reckon. |
That said it did make the match peculiar. Charlotte has
clearly been cast as a heel and Paige has spent months in that role too. The
crowd decided 'The Nature Girl' was the default heel and threw their lot in
with 'The Anti-Diva'. The action was most notable for Charlotte honing her Ric
Flair tribute act, although she did get a (ropey) cross body from the top and a
big boot that he'd never have hit. She retained after slinging Paige face first
into an exposed turnbuckle, which she'd set up as her dad distracted Paige and
the referee.
Which left only the main event: Roman Reigns challenging
Sheamus for the WWE championship. They set the tone from the opening seconds of
the match when Reigns raced across the ring and lamped Sheamus square in the
mouth with a right hand. It was a "snug" encounter ful of the
prerequisite ladder and tables bumps, neither man putting a foot wrong. Both wrestled
like they had something to prove. Let's face it, they did. Reigns needed to
prove he warranted his position as the anointed one and John Cena's heir. Sheamus
needed to show people he's worth more than an interim run as world champion and
that he should have had this spot on his own merit.
"Bah gawd, look at the physicality! Look at the carnage!" |
What this was was a fitting main event that saved the
pay-per-view from utter mediocrity. What this was not was Roman Reigns' night. After
Superman punching 'The Celtic Warrior' off the top of a ladder just as he laid
his hand on the title belt Reigns seemed to have the match won. He steamed up
the ladder as Michael Cole screeched that this was his chance. But it wasn't.
Rusev and 'Dirty' Berty Del Rio, Shaymo's League of Nations stablemates, hit
the ring and assaulted Reigns.
They teased Reigns overcoming the odds as long as they
could. ADR helped Sheamus recover as Rusev trapped Reigns in the Accolade. Reigns
broke free, clobbered the interference runners, and yanked Sheamus off the
ladder. That earned him a Brogue kick which sent him sailing out of the ring. Obvious
Sheamus victory right? Well, yes, but not before Reigns had puled himself back
into the ring and over to the base of the ladder, prompting a look of stunned
disbelief from Sheamus and a hurried unbuckling of the title belt.
After the match Reigns destroyed everyone. He speared Del
Rio and Rusev as they hoisted Sheamus up on their shoulders. Then he hit all
three with a chair. A lot. Triple H and Stephanie showed up at ringside. Reigns
continued his assault, sporting the expression of a man who'd had enough of having
obstacles thrown and had finally snapped.
Roman Reigns losing his mind there. |
'The Game' got into the ring to help Sheamus and ended up
taking a beating too. Reigns gave him a Superman punch and seven chair shots
before power bombing him onto the Spanish announce table. I say onto because it
didn't break. Not to be denied a memorable visual Reigns leapt off the English
announce table and hit the COO with an elbow drop. Then, just for good measure,
Reigns speared Trips as he was being helped to hobble backstage.
This sequence ensured the show ended on a strong note. It
was Reigns snapping, taking his frustrations out on the people who have held
him down in storyline and bored viewers in real life. It was the perfect way to
win the crowd over and get them firmly on Reigns' side. The show went off the
air with the fans going crazy for the chosen one.
And it set the stage for a heck of a RAW...
Results summary:
New Day defeated the Usos and the Lucha Dragons to retain
the tag team championshipRusev defeated Ryback
Alberto Del Rio defeated Jack Swagger to retain the United States championship
The Wyatt Family defeated the Dudley Boyz, Rhyno and Tommy Dreamer
Dean Ambrose defeated Kevin Owens to win the Intercontinental championship
Charlotte defeated Paige to retain the Divas championship
Sheamus defeated Roman Reigns to retain the WWE championship
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